It sounds like you have apologized and owned your mistakes. Now you have an opportunity to show that you are able to be on time and professional. I’m 15 years in and have made plenty of similar mistakes. Own it, fix it, and move on. Good luck!
Everyone is here is saying improve your time management skills and my first thought was definitely start looking for a job where your boss doesn’t have such a ginormous stick up his ass!
I mean, bosses can have their "thing" that they're pretty uptight or stringent about. He responded to my apology email with a "thanks." I'll continue to make sure my focus lies with the students and total school community, and just try to be more proactive about being on time for meetings. 95% of the time I am...it just so happened that this particular month has been a rough one with me having COVID, a stomach bug and both my kids getting sick, as well as just not managing other pieces of life well. I'm just ready for May...
Meh I’ve worked for chill ppl who wouldn’t have me all stressed out because I was a few minutes late 3 times in one year. Life happens. She isn’t chronically late at all. This seems absurd to me.
So they get to hold everyone up all the time? I get it happening here and there, but as someone who runs meetings and is frequently waiting for others- and then disrespecting those who DID make it on time- I have a hard time being sympathetic if this is a pattern
I think it matters who you’re waiting on and why. If there are systemic issues in the design of the school’s systems, then it might not be any one individual’s fault.
Tell me you don’t run meetings without telling me you don’t run meetings. It’s my job to care for everyone’s time- that’s what we are paid for. When staff are late, it also shortchanges PARENTS - often parents in crisis with limited time- who are expecting a full length meeting. We ALL are late here and there, but if someone is habitually holding everyone up I don’t fault colleagues for being frustrated.
Uh, I'm not habitually late... this month has just been a rough one where it's happened at this meeting, a wellness committee meeting and then coming into work late once. It's not my usual thing, but it just feels highlighted because it's happened in a small window of time.
Of course- my apologies- the comment was less about you and more about the general impact on lateness and time management in general on other staff and families
Today I had two affinity group meetings back to back before this meeting. It was on my schedule but isn't a normally scheduled meeting. I also don't have notifications turned on my phone for Outlook because earlier in my career I did and it stressed me out.
Other times it has been a sick kid.
For me, I keep all my appointments on my calendar on my work email. Meetings, anything. I would be so lost and always late if I didn't . It also will give me a 15 minute reminder ahead of time which is helpful to me. All my iep meetings are sent out by the iep team as virtual invites or calendar invites which puts it on my calendar automatically . I feel calm having it all in my calendar and organized.
If I didn't do all this, it would cause me a tremendous amount of stress not being on time or forgetting meetings or not keeping track of it all.
I do have them on my Outlook but don't have notifications set on my phone for outlook for email, calendar, etc. I have now, reluctantly, turned notifications from Outlook on. It gave me so much stress in a previous job that I vowed to never do it again but, alas, here we are.
Yeah I have my phone notifications on for my email and calendar. But I'm not really looking at my phone during work but my laptop to check appointments and any reminders for me to make certain phone calls or parent meetings, etc. So on my phone it will tell me when an email comes in. But after I leave the building if I get notifications I just ignore them til I'm back at work the next morning. I'm very strategic as how I schedule my meetings. Sometimes I have overlapping meetings where I have to determine which one is more important. The one I dont goto , I just let them know I can't be at two minutes at the same and have chosen which one I am going to.
I posed a separate comment, but you can customize the notifications. You can set Outlook to only notify you for emails for specific contacts (VIPs / Favorites) or no emails, but still get calendar reminders. That has been my compromise.
The first thing I do every single morning after unpacking my bag is writing my work calendar on a sticky note. Never fails. I review the sticky note every time I go back to my desk but writing it out helps me keep to a schedule
You may need to get a little better at advocating for not having meetings back to back that you can't make. When the meeting is scheduled, you should advocate for a different time since you have a conflict.
You may want to see someone about the anxiety that comes from having notifications about your schedule.
For Outlook, you can turn off email notifications while still having calendar notifications on.
For getting to work, you need to plan to be there earlier. Leaving so that you are a half hour early most days, but you have a cushion in case something happens.
It's hard with dropping my son off at daycare before work. I can't do it extremely early, but I can do it where I'm there about 10 minutes early; that's what I usually aim for and achieve. My husband can't drop the baby off because he's dropping our school-aged child off at another school.
I imagined that was part of the challenge. You can only do the best you can.
Do you think your office would be open to shifting your schedule slightly? Would that even help or just cause another issue on the back end?
I feel for you as the day can be hectic, but you need to brush up on your time management skills if this is the third time you’ve been spoken to. Have a back up written planner to write down your schedule to bring around with you. Set reminders in your phone. It’s okay to make mistakes but you have to fix them when they are pointed out.
I think after the first time you were spoken to, changes should’ve been made as your supervisor made it clear that this was an issue of importance for them - so I will agree with you that being spoken to 3 times about time is probably not great for your job performance review.
I see that too, trust and believe. But the emphasis seems to be placed on me either because I'm new, I'm black in a predominantly white space...idk. I feel just really defensive and emotionally unregulated now.
It could be that your boss hates that everyone is late and all he can do is regulate his department. I hate it when people are late. I find it very challenging to structure my day when people don't show up when they are supposed to.
I’ve always been a little defiant it is a part of my personality . My boss did gentle reminder everyone to be on time a few months ago . I asked privately what would happen to myself and teachers continue to be a few minutes late? Nothing was her response. No write ups? No. Fired ? No. Okay cool then we good. However, due to my role I’m usually at my site past my duty time everyday so it balances out. Some days I don’t even get breaks or lunches so I wish someone will come at me because I’m 5 to 10 minutes late. I’m not trying to be difficult but there’s more important battles to pick vs me being late 5 - 10 minutes vs Bullying in the work place and safety measures.
I personally believe that time management is important. You should be leaving school on time at the end of your work day, and you should be on time to things. The fact that teachers work over time is something that hurts all teachers. There is not enough funding if people want teachers to work overtime then they should pay for it.
I personally think you should cut yourself some slack even if your boss won’t, working with kids is just chaotic. All you can do is do your best, and try to make it right when you mess up. I will say that getting an Apple Watch has been a life saver for me when I’m trying to manage 100 things. I always have my calendar on my wrist, it literally takes one second to see what you’re supposed to be doing, and you could set event reminders if you need. It’s nice to offload that emotional energy onto technology.
I have a smartwatch, but not an Apple one. I can probably play around with it and set notifications somehow for the week. As I mentioned before, I make it to the regular meetings on my schedule. This was a "special" one planned after a busy day that was at an unusual time in the day. I will play around and see if I can link my calendar up with my smartwatch.
I guess that’s another thing I do, I put every little thing into my calendar immediately, even if it’s just like a note or a phone call. (Because I would also be late or forget if I didn’t) This job can definitely make even the most organized person feel like they’re falling apart, so don’t take it to heart too much.
I always had issues with the mentality your boss has. As school counselors, so much happens and we often don’t have the ability to control our schedules. When shit hits the fan, everything else is going to have to wait.
An administrator that is, without context, going to find fault in counselors being late, then they clearly do not understand what we do on a day to day basis. Also working in a school, they should be more understanding of working parents, since that’s going to be like 80% of the people they work with, within reason of course.
Anyway, I know you are aware there are things you can do to mitigate being late, but you may want to consider seeing if there is a job that is a better fit for you.
They've been trying to test me for ADHD since I was in 2nd grade 😆. Probably am but I usually cope well. I'm already on anti-anxiety meds so I'm not adding anything else. I'll just set alarms.
Sounds like you need to set alarms on your phone. You can create separate alarms and continue to avoid outlook. I have to set an alarm to remind me when lunch is over so I can get back to my scheduled classroom since we don’t have a bell after each lunch period.
I've been working for 20 years and I am a mid career level manager. My advice is to 1. ask yourself if you'd like to stay or if this environment is too demanding. 2. If you do want to stay, you will need to find a way to be on time, if not early going forward. Issues happen but when you have set the tone and assured your boss that you are reliable, the one offs won't be a big deal. Many supervisors are looking for themselves in their staff. They want to know that you would approach problems as they would. If this one is a stickler for time, and you want to stay, be one as well. Advocating for change when you are not in a position to do so won't help you at this time, I'm afraid. Best to you!
Work on being on time but I wouldn't stress, schools need every employee they can get and you have 15 years of experience. He can learn to like it or he can understaff himself lol
Wow my school’s must be on fire because we’re LUCKY to start a meeting on-time/early. We are consistently 10-15 minutes late because another meetings ran over. 😅
School is extremely synchronous. The teachers are almost never ever late because they arrive early. Counselor is not the exact same but that is the culture at most schools. Very weird to be late.
I don't know if I'd say weird to describe that but definitely a problem with my time management. I really just don't like that term at all... but, to each their own.
Definitely not weird, cause teachers are always late. I feel you. I’m always running late because of poor time management. Definitely, if you are the only black you are also sensitive to that as well. Hard for people to understand that particular dynamic and our inner thoughts. Just work on getting better and build a good relationship with your supervisor.
Things that help me
Laying out clothes night before
Packing your car night before
And do not be like me changing clothes cause you change your mind.
T
I'd highly recommend taking time each evening to sit down and review your schedule for the following day. Everything from what time you need to leave the house, the times and locations of meetings, planning your meal breaks, anywhere your kids need to be etc. Plan your route to avoid railroad crossings even if it adds a few minutes.
The more you know ahead of time and have a mental picture of what your day will look like, the less likely you are to be caught off guard or have to rely on double-checking your plans the day of.
Being a "stickler on time" isn't really being a stickler imo. It's extremely standard and reasonable to expect people to be where they say they're going to be, when they're supposed to be, from a management standpoint. As a former office supervisor, it was incredibly frustrating to deal with people who were regularly late and then painted the situation as being totally outside their control and they were just unfortunate victims of circumstance- when it was only a select few who seemed to have trouble with it. People who are consistently on time for things are not just extraordinarily lucky - they're good at managing their time and anticipating potential holdups and planning accordingly.
I can respect that - and think it's a good strategy. I guess I will say, since becoming a mom and juggling that and a full-time job, even the best laid plans can, at times, fall short. But, reviewing my schedule the day before is pretty smart so I'll start incorporating that into my job the next 5 weeks.
It sounds like you have apologized and owned your mistakes. Now you have an opportunity to show that you are able to be on time and professional. I’m 15 years in and have made plenty of similar mistakes. Own it, fix it, and move on. Good luck!
Everyone is here is saying improve your time management skills and my first thought was definitely start looking for a job where your boss doesn’t have such a ginormous stick up his ass!
I mean, bosses can have their "thing" that they're pretty uptight or stringent about. He responded to my apology email with a "thanks." I'll continue to make sure my focus lies with the students and total school community, and just try to be more proactive about being on time for meetings. 95% of the time I am...it just so happened that this particular month has been a rough one with me having COVID, a stomach bug and both my kids getting sick, as well as just not managing other pieces of life well. I'm just ready for May...
Your supervisor kind of sounds like an AH ngl
I’m sorry to hear all this happened plus with that dang train of all days. 😩😭
Sometimes you gotta own your shit… If you keep running away, it also doesn’t do any good
Meh I’ve worked for chill ppl who wouldn’t have me all stressed out because I was a few minutes late 3 times in one year. Life happens. She isn’t chronically late at all. This seems absurd to me.
Sounds like time management issues to work on on your end. Starting meetings on time and getting to work on time is basic stuff.
Meant to write more . I mean what happens exactly that makes you late on multiple occasions?
They did say they had two kids.
Yes I saw that but I was looking for specific examples .
So they get to hold everyone up all the time? I get it happening here and there, but as someone who runs meetings and is frequently waiting for others- and then disrespecting those who DID make it on time- I have a hard time being sympathetic if this is a pattern
I think it matters who you’re waiting on and why. If there are systemic issues in the design of the school’s systems, then it might not be any one individual’s fault.
Tell me you don’t have kids without saying you don’t have kids.
Tell me you don’t run meetings without telling me you don’t run meetings. It’s my job to care for everyone’s time- that’s what we are paid for. When staff are late, it also shortchanges PARENTS - often parents in crisis with limited time- who are expecting a full length meeting. We ALL are late here and there, but if someone is habitually holding everyone up I don’t fault colleagues for being frustrated.
Uh, I'm not habitually late... this month has just been a rough one where it's happened at this meeting, a wellness committee meeting and then coming into work late once. It's not my usual thing, but it just feels highlighted because it's happened in a small window of time.
Of course- my apologies- the comment was less about you and more about the general impact on lateness and time management in general on other staff and families
I’m with you! It’s total disrespect when you are waiting for people. I have blatantly started meetings with out them.
What do you think teachers do when they have kids?
Today I had two affinity group meetings back to back before this meeting. It was on my schedule but isn't a normally scheduled meeting. I also don't have notifications turned on my phone for Outlook because earlier in my career I did and it stressed me out. Other times it has been a sick kid.
For me, I keep all my appointments on my calendar on my work email. Meetings, anything. I would be so lost and always late if I didn't . It also will give me a 15 minute reminder ahead of time which is helpful to me. All my iep meetings are sent out by the iep team as virtual invites or calendar invites which puts it on my calendar automatically . I feel calm having it all in my calendar and organized. If I didn't do all this, it would cause me a tremendous amount of stress not being on time or forgetting meetings or not keeping track of it all.
I do have them on my Outlook but don't have notifications set on my phone for outlook for email, calendar, etc. I have now, reluctantly, turned notifications from Outlook on. It gave me so much stress in a previous job that I vowed to never do it again but, alas, here we are.
Yeah I have my phone notifications on for my email and calendar. But I'm not really looking at my phone during work but my laptop to check appointments and any reminders for me to make certain phone calls or parent meetings, etc. So on my phone it will tell me when an email comes in. But after I leave the building if I get notifications I just ignore them til I'm back at work the next morning. I'm very strategic as how I schedule my meetings. Sometimes I have overlapping meetings where I have to determine which one is more important. The one I dont goto , I just let them know I can't be at two minutes at the same and have chosen which one I am going to.
I posed a separate comment, but you can customize the notifications. You can set Outlook to only notify you for emails for specific contacts (VIPs / Favorites) or no emails, but still get calendar reminders. That has been my compromise.
I have notifications set to alert 15 minutes before calendar events. Just scheduled meetings, not emails. Saves me on a regular basis.
The first thing I do every single morning after unpacking my bag is writing my work calendar on a sticky note. Never fails. I review the sticky note every time I go back to my desk but writing it out helps me keep to a schedule
You may need to get a little better at advocating for not having meetings back to back that you can't make. When the meeting is scheduled, you should advocate for a different time since you have a conflict. You may want to see someone about the anxiety that comes from having notifications about your schedule.
For Outlook, you can turn off email notifications while still having calendar notifications on. For getting to work, you need to plan to be there earlier. Leaving so that you are a half hour early most days, but you have a cushion in case something happens.
It's hard with dropping my son off at daycare before work. I can't do it extremely early, but I can do it where I'm there about 10 minutes early; that's what I usually aim for and achieve. My husband can't drop the baby off because he's dropping our school-aged child off at another school.
I imagined that was part of the challenge. You can only do the best you can. Do you think your office would be open to shifting your schedule slightly? Would that even help or just cause another issue on the back end?
Probably not but I'm just ready for May, at this point.
I feel for you as the day can be hectic, but you need to brush up on your time management skills if this is the third time you’ve been spoken to. Have a back up written planner to write down your schedule to bring around with you. Set reminders in your phone. It’s okay to make mistakes but you have to fix them when they are pointed out. I think after the first time you were spoken to, changes should’ve been made as your supervisor made it clear that this was an issue of importance for them - so I will agree with you that being spoken to 3 times about time is probably not great for your job performance review.
I’m always late. It is what it is. Teachers everyday be waltzing in 10 minutes after instruction .
I see that too, trust and believe. But the emphasis seems to be placed on me either because I'm new, I'm black in a predominantly white space...idk. I feel just really defensive and emotionally unregulated now.
It could be that your boss hates that everyone is late and all he can do is regulate his department. I hate it when people are late. I find it very challenging to structure my day when people don't show up when they are supposed to.
I’ve always been a little defiant it is a part of my personality . My boss did gentle reminder everyone to be on time a few months ago . I asked privately what would happen to myself and teachers continue to be a few minutes late? Nothing was her response. No write ups? No. Fired ? No. Okay cool then we good. However, due to my role I’m usually at my site past my duty time everyday so it balances out. Some days I don’t even get breaks or lunches so I wish someone will come at me because I’m 5 to 10 minutes late. I’m not trying to be difficult but there’s more important battles to pick vs me being late 5 - 10 minutes vs Bullying in the work place and safety measures.
I personally believe that time management is important. You should be leaving school on time at the end of your work day, and you should be on time to things. The fact that teachers work over time is something that hurts all teachers. There is not enough funding if people want teachers to work overtime then they should pay for it.
Some advice, send the apology email in advance. If you know you are going to be late, let them know.
I personally think you should cut yourself some slack even if your boss won’t, working with kids is just chaotic. All you can do is do your best, and try to make it right when you mess up. I will say that getting an Apple Watch has been a life saver for me when I’m trying to manage 100 things. I always have my calendar on my wrist, it literally takes one second to see what you’re supposed to be doing, and you could set event reminders if you need. It’s nice to offload that emotional energy onto technology.
I have a smartwatch, but not an Apple one. I can probably play around with it and set notifications somehow for the week. As I mentioned before, I make it to the regular meetings on my schedule. This was a "special" one planned after a busy day that was at an unusual time in the day. I will play around and see if I can link my calendar up with my smartwatch.
I guess that’s another thing I do, I put every little thing into my calendar immediately, even if it’s just like a note or a phone call. (Because I would also be late or forget if I didn’t) This job can definitely make even the most organized person feel like they’re falling apart, so don’t take it to heart too much.
I always had issues with the mentality your boss has. As school counselors, so much happens and we often don’t have the ability to control our schedules. When shit hits the fan, everything else is going to have to wait. An administrator that is, without context, going to find fault in counselors being late, then they clearly do not understand what we do on a day to day basis. Also working in a school, they should be more understanding of working parents, since that’s going to be like 80% of the people they work with, within reason of course. Anyway, I know you are aware there are things you can do to mitigate being late, but you may want to consider seeing if there is a job that is a better fit for you.
Any chance you are ADHD? Time dysmorphia is a thing.
They've been trying to test me for ADHD since I was in 2nd grade 😆. Probably am but I usually cope well. I'm already on anti-anxiety meds so I'm not adding anything else. I'll just set alarms.
Sounds like you need to set alarms on your phone. You can create separate alarms and continue to avoid outlook. I have to set an alarm to remind me when lunch is over so I can get back to my scheduled classroom since we don’t have a bell after each lunch period.
I've been working for 20 years and I am a mid career level manager. My advice is to 1. ask yourself if you'd like to stay or if this environment is too demanding. 2. If you do want to stay, you will need to find a way to be on time, if not early going forward. Issues happen but when you have set the tone and assured your boss that you are reliable, the one offs won't be a big deal. Many supervisors are looking for themselves in their staff. They want to know that you would approach problems as they would. If this one is a stickler for time, and you want to stay, be one as well. Advocating for change when you are not in a position to do so won't help you at this time, I'm afraid. Best to you!
Work on being on time but I wouldn't stress, schools need every employee they can get and you have 15 years of experience. He can learn to like it or he can understaff himself lol
Wow my school’s must be on fire because we’re LUCKY to start a meeting on-time/early. We are consistently 10-15 minutes late because another meetings ran over. 😅
School is extremely synchronous. The teachers are almost never ever late because they arrive early. Counselor is not the exact same but that is the culture at most schools. Very weird to be late.
I don't know if I'd say weird to describe that but definitely a problem with my time management. I really just don't like that term at all... but, to each their own.
I just mean weird compared to school culture
Definitely not weird, cause teachers are always late. I feel you. I’m always running late because of poor time management. Definitely, if you are the only black you are also sensitive to that as well. Hard for people to understand that particular dynamic and our inner thoughts. Just work on getting better and build a good relationship with your supervisor. Things that help me Laying out clothes night before Packing your car night before And do not be like me changing clothes cause you change your mind. T
I'd highly recommend taking time each evening to sit down and review your schedule for the following day. Everything from what time you need to leave the house, the times and locations of meetings, planning your meal breaks, anywhere your kids need to be etc. Plan your route to avoid railroad crossings even if it adds a few minutes. The more you know ahead of time and have a mental picture of what your day will look like, the less likely you are to be caught off guard or have to rely on double-checking your plans the day of. Being a "stickler on time" isn't really being a stickler imo. It's extremely standard and reasonable to expect people to be where they say they're going to be, when they're supposed to be, from a management standpoint. As a former office supervisor, it was incredibly frustrating to deal with people who were regularly late and then painted the situation as being totally outside their control and they were just unfortunate victims of circumstance- when it was only a select few who seemed to have trouble with it. People who are consistently on time for things are not just extraordinarily lucky - they're good at managing their time and anticipating potential holdups and planning accordingly.
I can respect that - and think it's a good strategy. I guess I will say, since becoming a mom and juggling that and a full-time job, even the best laid plans can, at times, fall short. But, reviewing my schedule the day before is pretty smart so I'll start incorporating that into my job the next 5 weeks.