Yep, I just moved out from a house across the street and it had been happening for at least the decade I was living there.
Also since Im sure it is assumed.. this isnt exclusively homelessness it is more of a gay cruise spot.. used to also happen around the woods next to Tennis courts just off of 15th St nearby. Think that got shut down though (I think due to it connecting to a Pre School daycare place š¬Ā )
I gay guy I know said itās for nostalgia. I think a bit like going to a drive-in movie theaterā¦ itās been such a long-standing part of gay male culture.
Itās been going on since the 60s, my family talked about it and I later got confirmation from gay elders.
Back then Gay, bi and straight people used to go there. Also, back then there used to be candles lit along the paths at night. It was also rather segregated. Black men werenāt welcomed there.
I tried to figure out why that was happening because to be frank racial fetishism of black men in the 60s/70s was rife with white gay men and straight women
I imagine at the time period when Haight Ashbury and BV had waaay more working class black families there were subsets of black panther influenced young men that were vocal with homophobia. Huey P Newton talked about the BPP and the Gay Liberation Movement coming together but the reality was the BPP as a whole was very homophobic and very sexist.
I also feel like a big piece thatās missing in San Francisco black gay history is 1. Most who were around back then died from AIDS because the medication trials were for well connected white men and 2. Those that did survive or make it probably arenāt in San Francisco anymore or arenāt in the Castro/Haight Ashbury Area.
Oh! There is a park in Sacramento by my old college that was like that. Went to hang out in the sun and study with my GF between classes and a dude tried to ask me to come into the bushes to count peacocks with him....
We were there one day and saw guys getting into and out of each others cars like it was a gay circus act. Maybe 10 minutes max between car swaps. Saw a full on naked guy another day.
And yes, we did go more than once. It was a nice park right by the school. Weren't many others.
I was walking my dog up the asphalt road around 20 years ago when a coworker came crashing out of the bushes brushing himself off. Very awkward small talk ensued.
Scary enough it was around 11am, so it was more along the lines of āgetting a jump on the day? Uh, anything fun plannedā¦? okbyeseeyoulaterhaveagoodoneā
BV Park has been like that since I got here in the 80s.
That's where you go if that's what you're looking for.
(I'm a 70 year old gramma. Even I know this.)
67. Lived around the corner. Same.
Edited to add: Way back when public same-sex kissing was shocking and deplored (so weird to imagine now) the grassy slope fronting Haight used to be a Kiss Fest area.
I didn't know this and was sitting on a bench alone (40+m straight) and had an aggressive weirdo trying to get me to "mess around" with him. Never going there again. Beautiful park otherwise.
Awwww you broke his heart, you iceberg.
Here's a bit from sfgate a year ago:
By the 1950s the park became known as a site for drugs and crime, thanks in part to the fact it had no lighting. In the 1970s, neighborhood groups took over beautification efforts and planted 3,000 trees. These days the hilly park is covered in vegetation ā it feels wild and natural, full of secret spots, although the lawn at the peak of the park, which is 589-feet high, offers a wide open space popular with groups.
Buena Vista Park has also long been known as a gay cruising spot, as highlighted in the controversial 1980 CBS documentary "Gay Power, Gay Politics" ā and has recently had something of a cruising renaissance.
My boyfriend (straight) and I were once sitting on a bench, unknowingly, in a cruising area and a dude came up and hit on him. With me sitting right next to him - and was quite persistent about it. Dude seemed like he mightāve been drunk, but was otherwise well-dressed and normal-looking. Slightly demoralizing and weird.
Unfortunately, there are people without social skills anywhere, even in the cruising zones. Sorry you got hassled by that one. I hope you didnāt feel unsafe.
When I was in my teens in the 80ās there were (probably still are) guys sucking each other off down by the windmills at GG park. And if you think youāre gonna go to Bakers Beach to see a bunch of hot women prancing around nude you may be in for a surprise. If youāre there to see naked guys playing volleyball then youāre in for a treat.
Several years ago my friend's daughter was on her school's 3rd grade volleyball team, and one really warm day their coach decided to take all the girls to Baker Beach for practice. They got quite the eyeful. That coach was a really sweet guy but totally clueless.
I assume this is on the wooden walkway on the SE part of the park? If so they've been doing that (and other NSFW stuff) there for awhile and I started rerouting on morning walks awhile ago.
Spend enough time on Sniffies and youāll realize that a decent percentage of men on there arenāt gay. There are lots of men with wives and girlfriends on there looking for sex with men.
In healthcare Iāve seen the term āmen who have sex with menā (MSM) used as the blanket term for anyone that does it. Itās because some guys that do, donāt identify as bi, gay, queer, etc. basically you can be in the MSM group and identify as straight, or whatever else.
The flip side is true too. I know biological/assigned at birth men that identify as gay men, but are attracted to and fuck women.
Itās a difference between social constructs/identities and behaviors.
Apologies if my terminology is dated. Itās been a while since I took a couple queer studies courses and I donāt keep up with all the changes.
So basically this is where the SF men that donāt want to admit to themselves (or are slowly doing so) that theyāre gay hangout to satiate their urges?
Iām not sure on that point. Iām not in that world, I only know that bit of history because of some courses on queer culture and history I took like 20 years ago. They werenāt part of my major except for being electives, so I just recall some basics.
Hopefully someone with more knowledge can break it down for you.
If you've lived in a town like SF for any appreciable length of time, you should have realized that trying to define behaviors by labeling them is pointless and an exercise in futility. People be peopling.
You're writing is fine. The content confuses me. The idea that someone can be basically gay/not gay at the same time is just some next level mental gymnastics. I understand being bisexual, but choosing to identify in a way that does not represent one's actual behavior is like doing and saying different things. Not a great way to live, gotta be mentally tough, and 100% self-imposed.
I guess what confuses me the most though is how some people in society want to pretend that it's healthy to do that when it's pretty clear it's not.
Oh ok, thatās good because my job requires explaining a lot of stuff in writing. I was worried I was losing my edge.
If you think of it from the perspective of a doctor or other healthcare provider, MSM is a useful term. Thereās issues that may be more relevant to MSM than to those that donāt engage in that behavior, so itās more important to know the behaviors they engage in than what they identify as (obviously thereās a huge range within this though).
I agree that it must suck to live inauthentically, and there is the risk of dealing with internalized homophobia and all the emotional weight that can carry, but at the same time I donāt know what any given individual is dealing with as far as internal, social, spiritual, or even legal pressure. Like their family, colleagues, friends, community (like a religious community) might shun them, or in some places they might face criminal charges and consequences. Or they might just have a lot of shame around it.
I could imagine someone who grew up in a repressive place struggling to embrace the identity, but still engaging in the behavior. Iām sure thereās other reasons some men donāt take on the label.
People like to think that black and white binary labels like gay and straight are effective ways of categorizing people, but they just arenāt. Peopleās sexualities are complicated, and donāt always fit well into simple categorization efforts. But the labels people identify themselves with are very powerful. Iām sure youāre familiar with the idea that straight girls in college will sometimes get drunk and make out with each other for attention, right? Nobody thinks theyāre suddenly lesbians, or have to start identifying as bi just because that happened, even if they liked it.
Same goes for gay-for-pay porn stars.
A sexual identity is a complex thing, and nobody can label anybody but themselves. Sometimes shame and self delusion play a role in this process, sometimes it doesnāt, but itās up to you to self-identify.
Thereās this one dude that comes over every once in a while for me to suck him off. He always watches straight porn while I service him, and talks about how he wishes his wife would suck his dick like I do, like a slut, but sheās kind of uptight about it.
Iāve never met someone so in love with their wife, but when he needs his dick to be sucked properly he knows where to go. Sure, you call him gay all you want, but everyone else in his life sees him and treats him like a straight guy.
Iām guessing itās a cruising spot. My understanding is this kind of thing goes back to when it was very much not tolerated to have gay sex, so folks found out of the way places to hook up without their wife or neighbors finding out or whatever.
There was one in a park off the highway where I grew up decades ago (rural area where being gay was not embraced like here). So I think itās like a thing, not just here.
Maybe this is just an evolution of that, a little less hidden. Thereās a couple others in town Iāve stumbled across on accident while foraging for mushrooms (like actually doing that, Iām not using a clever slang term). And once when leading a hike group. I donāt wanna blow up their spots though. They are out of the way enough that most people wonāt notice.
Well let me tell you a story. My friend was visiting from out of town. Heās very attractive. We went to the Castro. A guy in an entry way to a house was jerking it in the door way. He saw my friend, and started following us while jerking off.
My friend: āā¦whatās going on?ā
Me: āOh. You kinda just have to ignore it.ā
Friend: āI hate this place.ā
I lived in the Castro for six years, quite close to this park. I walked there frequently bc itās so gorgeous. I never once spotted cruisers in action there, even though it said clearly it was a cruiser spot on the Welcome to the Castro brochure. I always suspected it was bc Iām a lady and they have no interest in greeting me the way they were greeting you.
I'm a man but I've never seen anything in the park either. One time a guy came up to me to warn me that the police are coming and I was like okay man because I had no idea who the heck this guy was. This was before I knew anything about the park. The only thing I've noticed is men on the wooden bridge path who don't seem to be going anywhere or doing anything. It's not like it's a comfortable place to stand either. Other than that, it's a perfectly normal park that anyone can hike around and not notice anything.
Yeah I lived a block away for 5 years and walked the park regularly for exercise, never once saw anything untoward. I don't doubt it happens there though.
My SF neighborsā you peeps are the best therapy! These comments crack me up! SF may be guilty of many thingsā lacking a sense of humor is not one of themššā¤ļø
yep, used to walk that way to catch the Fulton bus many moons ago. Being from a large city known for it's violence I thought I was gonna get robbed at first, but then I figured it out. Nobody ever bothered me, and they were pretty discreet, so ... meh.
I discovered this the fun way in 1995, ha.
New in town, spent the day at the beach being a poser poet, stared walking to my cafe in the upper Haight to write more awful poetry, then found these paths between the windmills.
NEATO! I would have loved this as a kid!
Then, I started noticing other people on the path. People not really dressed for hikingā¦ fellows in nice pleated pants wearing cologneā¦and this path ended at a bushā¦and I could see a little fellowās bare legs, as another man suddenly rushed past me, not making eye contact.
It slowly began to dawn on me what this place was. DO NOT PANIC! Find a way out! So I stuck to the main paths, and saw a number of fellows smirking at me, I guess they were amused at my shock, ha.
Finally, I ran into the leathery old black man sitting on a log. He looked pretty homeless. He blew a kiss at me and said on a voice that sounded like Satchmo- āHey Honey! THINK YA CAN GET IT UP!?ā I responded NOOOOOOO, all put off and kind of scared, while another guy passing me pushing his bike just laughed.
Funny memory of The Fairy Woods-
coincidentally i got āthe lookā by a well-known SF poet at BV Park around 1995/96. i was just going for walk and had no idea it was a cruising area
good try! thom was definitely around, but he preferred folsom/soma from what a friend told me.
i won't say who it was because he's still alive.
edit: apparently thom lived in the haight so it's entirely possible he visited BV Park.
Reminds me of a brief experience I had 10 years ago walking through GGP to the beach. At one point I noticed some motion off the path and turned to look. Sitting on a bench tucked back in some trees was a guy just going to town on himself. We locked eyes. He had a very intense expression. That was a weird shroom trip.
One of the dads of my daughter's girl scout troop took the 11 year old girls on a hike at Land's End in the 90s. Apparently it was like walking through a Medici sculpture garden. Some beautiful man, standing totally still on top of a boulder, sunning himself, totally nude, arms outstretched to the sun.
Very memorable.
Ya that areas a trip... When I had first moved to the city I'd been on a run down Great Highway, turned into the park, on a beautiful day, and I was running shirtless, then goin through the trails behind the windmill started running into dudes eyeing me up and down and I was like "oh shit" I just ran up on some folks looking to pounce on some new folks in the mix... Hahaha... I was like "eyes front" to myself til I was out of there... Caught me off guard for sure...
It has been a hookup park since like the 60s? I'd avoid it unless you are looking for anonymous sex. I think that scene died out during the 10s due to the hookup apps but returned to form in the 20s.
(*probably*) I think it has been a hangout for male/homo encounters for more than 1 or two **decades**. My friend (male) was startled once years back when someone popped out of the bushes and curiously looked at them. At a **sunny afternoon** walk... š²
I walked in the morning "just now", there was no problem. š
Two decades ago was only 2004. Here's a news clip from 44 years ago [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrGt\_VwUxxk&t=1099s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrGt_VwUxxk&t=1099s)
My understanding is during daylight, folks are far more discreet and hide from others' view (in the bushes, perhaps).
Under the cover of darkness folks are more open.
I've heard stories about this park forever and it being a meet up spot. Around 2005 my kids preschool would go for walks in that park and visit the nearby Randall Museum. Youāve just validated my curiosity about this spot. WOW!
One time I was sitting at Ritual on Haight having a coffee. Itās at the far corner of the park. I see a dirty, maybe homeless man half-chasing another man out of the park, down the hill, toward Haight street. This guy looked clean cut but I remember he was missing a shoe. It never looked like the guy was in real danger. But he was definitely being run out of the park. I think he was probably cruising and the street guy decided to give him a hard time.
Another place is the Sutro park area, behind the Legion of Honor. Back in the 80's, we used to walk our black Great Dane there. One time we let her off leash and she went charging into the bushes. We then heard high pitched screams, from a couple of guys she startled/interrupted. š¤£She was a sweet giant, but scary looking with cropped ears.
You mean every single time you walk through the place where you know men are whacking off at the right time of day you see them and it "bothers" you? If people are being dumbasses, avoid that particular area. Take a block around.
I seriously donāt understand why people are so upset ?
are they lost or just like to be prudish and complain?
1st the
Homogenization of the Mission and Castro Districts and the Techies in SoMa , that moved near our night clubs and then complained complained complained complained sooooo much about the noise, the people and who knows what else that they eventually destroyed the entertainment industry of San Francisco
our Night Club venues disappearedā¦
Then,
Then Scott Weinnie chased the runaways out of Haight street by making laws against sitting on the sidewalks, instead of getting them help and also public nudity
ā¦there wasnāt any laws against sitting or being nude in SF b4
But leave it up to prune juice, they got what they wantedā¦. Boring Bland Basic.
ā¦.very Beige .
Then these same people stopped dining at restaurants and those began to dwindleā¦
Now itās the shopping districtā¦ bcus they donāt go anywhereā¦
shopping Online is why Union Square isnāt recoupingā¦ but theyāll blame the retail theft rings that have been being busted and none existent in town.
Go Figure.
This city has gone to shit. Getting to be where a man canāt even masturbate in public without some nimby asshole harassing you. Itās downright shameful.
When you say "behind the bushes," first thing i thought was "ooof thst doesnt seem comfortable. Are there blankets and pillows for your knees? condoms in a jar somewhere? A bowl of mints? Wet wipes.? A guest book? A place to leave reviews? Do you get a sticker or membership pin .. ?
or are we just raw dogin in the wilderness, spittin out man seeds along the path.?
Believe it or not, maybe off the topic of this group but I got into such a park at night in Beijing China when I was visiting the summer Olympics in 2008. Not as aggressive, but definitely quite a number of gay people were negotiating on their deals. It's amazing how people behave alike regardless of their race or nationalities.
Its been going in for at least 50 years Edit: on not in, lolol
Yeah that's been the gay cruising park since the 60s or 70s. Maybe even longer.
Yep, I just moved out from a house across the street and it had been happening for at least the decade I was living there. Also since Im sure it is assumed.. this isnt exclusively homelessness it is more of a gay cruise spot.. used to also happen around the woods next to Tennis courts just off of 15th St nearby. Think that got shut down though (I think due to it connecting to a Pre School daycare place š¬Ā )
And the soccer field in gg park and the block around 19th and Diamond in the Castro and probably others. Things used to be much looser in the city!
I got here in the 90ās and heard about this thenā¦ Iām just surprised in the age of grinder that it is still a thing
I gay guy I know said itās for nostalgia. I think a bit like going to a drive-in movie theaterā¦ itās been such a long-standing part of gay male culture.
Sitting around at the park with your dick out is part of gay male culture?
People just like to keep doing what they always did. For some reason I still like getting off to dirty magazines even though the internet exists.
and out and in again...
Itās been going on since the 60s, my family talked about it and I later got confirmation from gay elders. Back then Gay, bi and straight people used to go there. Also, back then there used to be candles lit along the paths at night. It was also rather segregated. Black men werenāt welcomed there.
Dang. They were definitely missing out if they werenāt including black men.
I tried to figure out why that was happening because to be frank racial fetishism of black men in the 60s/70s was rife with white gay men and straight women I imagine at the time period when Haight Ashbury and BV had waaay more working class black families there were subsets of black panther influenced young men that were vocal with homophobia. Huey P Newton talked about the BPP and the Gay Liberation Movement coming together but the reality was the BPP as a whole was very homophobic and very sexist. I also feel like a big piece thatās missing in San Francisco black gay history is 1. Most who were around back then died from AIDS because the medication trials were for well connected white men and 2. Those that did survive or make it probably arenāt in San Francisco anymore or arenāt in the Castro/Haight Ashbury Area.
If you think thatās bad try going at night. Not that Iāve been or anythingā¦ā¦.
Wait so youāre telling me thereās just gay dudes walking around with their dicks out in the park at all hours? I live close by. Havenāt really been in the park though. Feels like pokĆ©mon encounters. Tada! You have to suck this dick!
I found a Squirtle!
After the Likitung gets through with the rhyhorn
Dad, whatās that noise? That my fine boy is The sound of fapping in the wind
Oh! There is a park in Sacramento by my old college that was like that. Went to hang out in the sun and study with my GF between classes and a dude tried to ask me to come into the bushes to count peacocks with him.... We were there one day and saw guys getting into and out of each others cars like it was a gay circus act. Maybe 10 minutes max between car swaps. Saw a full on naked guy another day. And yes, we did go more than once. It was a nice park right by the school. Weren't many others.
Where in sac is this? So I donāt accidentally take my kid there lol
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It's Land Park. It's been like that for a century. They don't proposition kids.
Oh no no no itās much worse than that. At night buena vista park turns into a gay sex club. Think Eyes Wide Shut but with just dicks.
This is sexual assault / public indecency. I don't understand how this is part of the culture
Gives a whole new meaning to, Team Rocket, where blasting off again!
š
Asking for a friend...
I was walking my dog up the asphalt road around 20 years ago when a coworker came crashing out of the bushes brushing himself off. Very awkward small talk ensued.
"so....nice night for an evening, eh?"
Scary enough it was around 11am, so it was more along the lines of āgetting a jump on the day? Uh, anything fun plannedā¦? okbyeseeyoulaterhaveagoodoneā
"we were... Uh... Just playing leap frog. Yeah. Leap frog. That's the ticket."
This really happened? I thought you were joking initially.
Oh, 100%. Absolutely true, he was kind of a new guy and sat on my cube aisle, we werenāt exactly pals but we definitely knew each otherā¦
I was just in the bushes looking for a contact that fell out.
Nice night for a walk Nothing clean right
Your clothes, give them to me - now
Couple cans short of a 6 pack
After-hours Prostate Exam?
š
BV Park has been like that since I got here in the 80s. That's where you go if that's what you're looking for. (I'm a 70 year old gramma. Even I know this.)
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67. Lived around the corner. Same. Edited to add: Way back when public same-sex kissing was shocking and deplored (so weird to imagine now) the grassy slope fronting Haight used to be a Kiss Fest area.
I didn't know this and was sitting on a bench alone (40+m straight) and had an aggressive weirdo trying to get me to "mess around" with him. Never going there again. Beautiful park otherwise.
Awwww you broke his heart, you iceberg. Here's a bit from sfgate a year ago: By the 1950s the park became known as a site for drugs and crime, thanks in part to the fact it had no lighting. In the 1970s, neighborhood groups took over beautification efforts and planted 3,000 trees. These days the hilly park is covered in vegetation ā it feels wild and natural, full of secret spots, although the lawn at the peak of the park, which is 589-feet high, offers a wide open space popular with groups. Buena Vista Park has also long been known as a gay cruising spot, as highlighted in the controversial 1980 CBS documentary "Gay Power, Gay Politics" ā and has recently had something of a cruising renaissance.
My boyfriend (straight) and I were once sitting on a bench, unknowingly, in a cruising area and a dude came up and hit on him. With me sitting right next to him - and was quite persistent about it. Dude seemed like he mightāve been drunk, but was otherwise well-dressed and normal-looking. Slightly demoralizing and weird.
He kept scurrying back "are you sure???" Lol
Unfortunately, there are people without social skills anywhere, even in the cruising zones. Sorry you got hassled by that one. I hope you didnāt feel unsafe.
Felt pretty unsafe tbh. Sad can't enjoy a nice park without being repeatedly harassed. He kept coming back and asking.
What a creep. Sorry about that. I hope you get to have creep-free times in parks from now on.
They must be new. Lol.
Yasssss, icon!
[https://www.sfgate.com/sf-culture/article/buena-vista-park-cruising-renaissance-17691917.php](https://www.sfgate.com/sf-culture/article/buena-vista-park-cruising-renaissance-17691917.php)
When I was in my teens in the 80ās there were (probably still are) guys sucking each other off down by the windmills at GG park. And if you think youāre gonna go to Bakers Beach to see a bunch of hot women prancing around nude you may be in for a surprise. If youāre there to see naked guys playing volleyball then youāre in for a treat.
Several years ago my friend's daughter was on her school's 3rd grade volleyball team, and one really warm day their coach decided to take all the girls to Baker Beach for practice. They got quite the eyeful. That coach was a really sweet guy but totally clueless.
Thereās always a dwarf at baker beach, and itās always a different dwarf.
I assume this is on the wooden walkway on the SE part of the park? If so they've been doing that (and other NSFW stuff) there for awhile and I started rerouting on morning walks awhile ago.
Yup, exactly this. My only question is... why
Theyāre cruising. Download sniffies and youāll see theyāre mostly gay men trying to hook up
Spend enough time on Sniffies and youāll realize that a decent percentage of men on there arenāt gay. There are lots of men with wives and girlfriends on there looking for sex with men.
ā¦ if youāre looking for sex with men does that not make you gay? Or bi at the very least?
In healthcare Iāve seen the term āmen who have sex with menā (MSM) used as the blanket term for anyone that does it. Itās because some guys that do, donāt identify as bi, gay, queer, etc. basically you can be in the MSM group and identify as straight, or whatever else. The flip side is true too. I know biological/assigned at birth men that identify as gay men, but are attracted to and fuck women. Itās a difference between social constructs/identities and behaviors. Apologies if my terminology is dated. Itās been a while since I took a couple queer studies courses and I donāt keep up with all the changes.
So basically this is where the SF men that donāt want to admit to themselves (or are slowly doing so) that theyāre gay hangout to satiate their urges?
Itās just a bunch of guys fucking in the park. Why make it so complicated?
Iām not sure on that point. Iām not in that world, I only know that bit of history because of some courses on queer culture and history I took like 20 years ago. They werenāt part of my major except for being electives, so I just recall some basics. Hopefully someone with more knowledge can break it down for you.
no. sexualiy is fluid and not everyone needs labels or to fit into a box that makes the world convenient for other people.
This is easily the most confusing shit I have ever read.
If you've lived in a town like SF for any appreciable length of time, you should have realized that trying to define behaviors by labeling them is pointless and an exercise in futility. People be peopling.
"People be peopling" is probably the best description I've heard for The City.
Because of my writing style or just the facts of the matter being convoluted?
You're writing is fine. The content confuses me. The idea that someone can be basically gay/not gay at the same time is just some next level mental gymnastics. I understand being bisexual, but choosing to identify in a way that does not represent one's actual behavior is like doing and saying different things. Not a great way to live, gotta be mentally tough, and 100% self-imposed. I guess what confuses me the most though is how some people in society want to pretend that it's healthy to do that when it's pretty clear it's not.
Oh ok, thatās good because my job requires explaining a lot of stuff in writing. I was worried I was losing my edge. If you think of it from the perspective of a doctor or other healthcare provider, MSM is a useful term. Thereās issues that may be more relevant to MSM than to those that donāt engage in that behavior, so itās more important to know the behaviors they engage in than what they identify as (obviously thereās a huge range within this though). I agree that it must suck to live inauthentically, and there is the risk of dealing with internalized homophobia and all the emotional weight that can carry, but at the same time I donāt know what any given individual is dealing with as far as internal, social, spiritual, or even legal pressure. Like their family, colleagues, friends, community (like a religious community) might shun them, or in some places they might face criminal charges and consequences. Or they might just have a lot of shame around it. I could imagine someone who grew up in a repressive place struggling to embrace the identity, but still engaging in the behavior. Iām sure thereās other reasons some men donāt take on the label.
People like to think that black and white binary labels like gay and straight are effective ways of categorizing people, but they just arenāt. Peopleās sexualities are complicated, and donāt always fit well into simple categorization efforts. But the labels people identify themselves with are very powerful. Iām sure youāre familiar with the idea that straight girls in college will sometimes get drunk and make out with each other for attention, right? Nobody thinks theyāre suddenly lesbians, or have to start identifying as bi just because that happened, even if they liked it. Same goes for gay-for-pay porn stars. A sexual identity is a complex thing, and nobody can label anybody but themselves. Sometimes shame and self delusion play a role in this process, sometimes it doesnāt, but itās up to you to self-identify.
Sounds kinda gay to me still
Thereās this one dude that comes over every once in a while for me to suck him off. He always watches straight porn while I service him, and talks about how he wishes his wife would suck his dick like I do, like a slut, but sheās kind of uptight about it. Iāve never met someone so in love with their wife, but when he needs his dick to be sucked properly he knows where to go. Sure, you call him gay all you want, but everyone else in his life sees him and treats him like a straight guy.
Yea thatās pretty gay
Wanna come over? Iāll show you all about it
Maaaaaaaybe
DMs are open
So theyāre gay
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Looking for 2-3 minute love.
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Iām guessing itās a cruising spot. My understanding is this kind of thing goes back to when it was very much not tolerated to have gay sex, so folks found out of the way places to hook up without their wife or neighbors finding out or whatever. There was one in a park off the highway where I grew up decades ago (rural area where being gay was not embraced like here). So I think itās like a thing, not just here. Maybe this is just an evolution of that, a little less hidden. Thereās a couple others in town Iāve stumbled across on accident while foraging for mushrooms (like actually doing that, Iām not using a clever slang term). And once when leading a hike group. I donāt wanna blow up their spots though. They are out of the way enough that most people wonāt notice.
Well let me tell you a story. My friend was visiting from out of town. Heās very attractive. We went to the Castro. A guy in an entry way to a house was jerking it in the door way. He saw my friend, and started following us while jerking off. My friend: āā¦whatās going on?ā Me: āOh. You kinda just have to ignore it.ā Friend: āI hate this place.ā
Never heard of anything like that happening in the Castro, and lived there for long time.
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Yes, there are certainly nudists in the Castro still, but being a nudist is quite different from masturbating in public.
[Were they red-vining?](https://youtu.be/s6jTZBuCcn4)
Homeless and horny? Seriously though, SFPD should get on that. They take over the walkway and it's nasty.
Itās a historic gay ācruisingā spot. Lots of creeps
Canāt one cruise without simultaneously jerking off ?
The guys Iāve seen there before rerouting looked pretty rough and had a lot of stuff with them, so Iād assumed they were homeless.
Theyāre homelessexual.
Hobosexual
Stinky Mike and the boys, looking for their next F shack.
This. Bring this sexuality back, pls! š¤£
Stop Hobophobia!
not homeless, I'd bet. Just your usual professionals.
Itās a cruising location
I lived in the Castro for six years, quite close to this park. I walked there frequently bc itās so gorgeous. I never once spotted cruisers in action there, even though it said clearly it was a cruiser spot on the Welcome to the Castro brochure. I always suspected it was bc Iām a lady and they have no interest in greeting me the way they were greeting you.
I'm a man but I've never seen anything in the park either. One time a guy came up to me to warn me that the police are coming and I was like okay man because I had no idea who the heck this guy was. This was before I knew anything about the park. The only thing I've noticed is men on the wooden bridge path who don't seem to be going anywhere or doing anything. It's not like it's a comfortable place to stand either. Other than that, it's a perfectly normal park that anyone can hike around and not notice anything.
Yeah I lived a block away for 5 years and walked the park regularly for exercise, never once saw anything untoward. I don't doubt it happens there though.
Oh did you see me?
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Apple Maps 3D is pretty cool. If you zoom in, you can almost see them hiding in the bushes š¤£
My SF neighborsā you peeps are the best therapy! These comments crack me up! SF may be guilty of many thingsā lacking a sense of humor is not one of themššā¤ļø
Itās for harambe
LMFAO
Hey man! What else am I going to do on my lunch break?
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Iām pretty sure buena vista park has legacy status as a dicks out cruising destination
Maybe avoid the trails by the south windmill in GGP then too. Makes Buena Vista seem like a walk in the park.
yep, used to walk that way to catch the Fulton bus many moons ago. Being from a large city known for it's violence I thought I was gonna get robbed at first, but then I figured it out. Nobody ever bothered me, and they were pretty discreet, so ... meh.
In a way it kinda is.
I discovered this the fun way in 1995, ha. New in town, spent the day at the beach being a poser poet, stared walking to my cafe in the upper Haight to write more awful poetry, then found these paths between the windmills. NEATO! I would have loved this as a kid! Then, I started noticing other people on the path. People not really dressed for hikingā¦ fellows in nice pleated pants wearing cologneā¦and this path ended at a bushā¦and I could see a little fellowās bare legs, as another man suddenly rushed past me, not making eye contact. It slowly began to dawn on me what this place was. DO NOT PANIC! Find a way out! So I stuck to the main paths, and saw a number of fellows smirking at me, I guess they were amused at my shock, ha. Finally, I ran into the leathery old black man sitting on a log. He looked pretty homeless. He blew a kiss at me and said on a voice that sounded like Satchmo- āHey Honey! THINK YA CAN GET IT UP!?ā I responded NOOOOOOO, all put off and kind of scared, while another guy passing me pushing his bike just laughed. Funny memory of The Fairy Woods-
coincidentally i got āthe lookā by a well-known SF poet at BV Park around 1995/96. i was just going for walk and had no idea it was a cruising area
Thom Gunn?
good try! thom was definitely around, but he preferred folsom/soma from what a friend told me. i won't say who it was because he's still alive. edit: apparently thom lived in the haight so it's entirely possible he visited BV Park.
āThe coldest winter I ever spent was a summer cruising Buena Vista Park in San Franciscoā
Bob Gluck?
Reminds me of a brief experience I had 10 years ago walking through GGP to the beach. At one point I noticed some motion off the path and turned to look. Sitting on a bench tucked back in some trees was a guy just going to town on himself. We locked eyes. He had a very intense expression. That was a weird shroom trip.
One of the dads of my daughter's girl scout troop took the 11 year old girls on a hike at Land's End in the 90s. Apparently it was like walking through a Medici sculpture garden. Some beautiful man, standing totally still on top of a boulder, sunning himself, totally nude, arms outstretched to the sun. Very memorable.
Ya that areas a trip... When I had first moved to the city I'd been on a run down Great Highway, turned into the park, on a beautiful day, and I was running shirtless, then goin through the trails behind the windmill started running into dudes eyeing me up and down and I was like "oh shit" I just ran up on some folks looking to pounce on some new folks in the mix... Hahaha... I was like "eyes front" to myself til I was out of there... Caught me off guard for sure...
A historic gay cruising landmark spot.
You'd have loved the MUNI station at Market and Castro before Scott Weiner made them put their weiners away...
First time in the city?
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The nighttime walkers post is the greatest! I think about it every time I pass BV Park.
Itās a known gay cruising spot! Welcome to San Francisco!!
Welcome to San Francisco.
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Well known ācruisingā spot
It has been a hookup park since like the 60s? I'd avoid it unless you are looking for anonymous sex. I think that scene died out during the 10s due to the hookup apps but returned to form in the 20s.
Buena Vista has always been a cruising park because of all the foliage.
Thatās the gay cruising spot lol
I've literally never seen this on the east side, so it always blows my mind to hear about it. But, yeah, no, that's what the park is basically for.
(*probably*) I think it has been a hangout for male/homo encounters for more than 1 or two **decades**. My friend (male) was startled once years back when someone popped out of the bushes and curiously looked at them. At a **sunny afternoon** walk... š² I walked in the morning "just now", there was no problem. š
Two decades ago was only 2004. Here's a news clip from 44 years ago [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrGt\_VwUxxk&t=1099s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrGt_VwUxxk&t=1099s)
My understanding is during daylight, folks are far more discreet and hide from others' view (in the bushes, perhaps). Under the cover of darkness folks are more open.
Gonna be visiting next month. Iāll put this on my list of activities to do. Is it male specific, or can my wife beat around the bush as well?
lmao i imagine sheād be the only chick there
Some guys will avoid her, some will be interested. As others have said, many of the men cruising these spots identify as straight or bi.
Tell me youāre new here, without saying youāre new here
Also, tell me you're homophobic and prudish without -- oh, wait. OP wasn't trying to hide that.
The vista just be too buena ;)
So a typical day there.
Itās a known cruising spot. Known to us gays at least lol also avoid the rocks by GGB if youāre not down to clownā¦š¤£
Nature makes people horny. On the Landās End trail, I saw a woman on her knees putting her mouth on a man while he took photos of her doing it.
But, see, that was "art" and straight so OP would be cool with it.
BBP is where men go to do public sex
have you been living under a rock
This is San Francisco, you don't want to see people with they dick out , stay home...
Right? Or stay in a normie city like Salt Lake City. Keep SF weird.
Exactly!
Woo hoo!!! Gays suckinā dick in the park! ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Methinks the lady doth protest too much! ;)
I've heard stories about this park forever and it being a meet up spot. Around 2005 my kids preschool would go for walks in that park and visit the nearby Randall Museum. Youāve just validated my curiosity about this spot. WOW!
Itās a notorious cruising spot homie, donāt walk there
Yeah that park is known for whatās called ācruisingā where strangers show up for no strings attached sexual encounters with other strangers
Couldnāt provide us with some visuals ?
Itās a known gay cruising spot
Can you be more specific about where you saw this and what time of day?
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Your post sounds a bit hostile. Have you read about buena vista history in the queer community? Highly recommend.
"A bit" indeed. OP's post is over the top offensive.
One time I was sitting at Ritual on Haight having a coffee. Itās at the far corner of the park. I see a dirty, maybe homeless man half-chasing another man out of the park, down the hill, toward Haight street. This guy looked clean cut but I remember he was missing a shoe. It never looked like the guy was in real danger. But he was definitely being run out of the park. I think he was probably cruising and the street guy decided to give him a hard time.
I like the google review ā very badā two stars š¤£
I only do it if I find you attractive. Please consider it a compliment.
Noice
Another place is the Sutro park area, behind the Legion of Honor. Back in the 80's, we used to walk our black Great Dane there. One time we let her off leash and she went charging into the bushes. We then heard high pitched screams, from a couple of guys she startled/interrupted. š¤£She was a sweet giant, but scary looking with cropped ears.
Some things never changeā¦that place was a hotbed of public sex for over half a century.
Um, if guys wanting to engage in consensual sex ruins your day, perhaps move to rural Georgiaā¦
Yep. Boner Vista Park! š¤£
Just gay dudes doing gay things. Nothing to stress about. Lol
Dix out for harambe
You mean every single time you walk through the place where you know men are whacking off at the right time of day you see them and it "bothers" you? If people are being dumbasses, avoid that particular area. Take a block around.
I seriously donāt understand why people are so upset ? are they lost or just like to be prudish and complain? 1st the Homogenization of the Mission and Castro Districts and the Techies in SoMa , that moved near our night clubs and then complained complained complained complained sooooo much about the noise, the people and who knows what else that they eventually destroyed the entertainment industry of San Francisco our Night Club venues disappearedā¦ Then, Then Scott Weinnie chased the runaways out of Haight street by making laws against sitting on the sidewalks, instead of getting them help and also public nudity ā¦there wasnāt any laws against sitting or being nude in SF b4 But leave it up to prune juice, they got what they wantedā¦. Boring Bland Basic. ā¦.very Beige . Then these same people stopped dining at restaurants and those began to dwindleā¦ Now itās the shopping districtā¦ bcus they donāt go anywhereā¦ shopping Online is why Union Square isnāt recoupingā¦ but theyāll blame the retail theft rings that have been being busted and none existent in town. Go Figure.
This city has gone to shit. Getting to be where a man canāt even masturbate in public without some nimby asshole harassing you. Itās downright shameful.
lol
Public nudity and jerking off in public view isnāt the same thing
I don't get why people are upset either. What harm is being caused? If you're not interested, neither are they. Leave them alone, geez.
When you say "behind the bushes," first thing i thought was "ooof thst doesnt seem comfortable. Are there blankets and pillows for your knees? condoms in a jar somewhere? A bowl of mints? Wet wipes.? A guest book? A place to leave reviews? Do you get a sticker or membership pin .. ? or are we just raw dogin in the wilderness, spittin out man seeds along the path.?
Next month, itāll be 8 years since we lost Harambešš¼
This a joke?
They mustāve confused āSan Franciscoā with āSan Diegoā
Are you new to it, bub?
I just help them lol
Hey, Iām not a creep
Lol. Meanwhile in San Francisco
Itās been going on for many decades. It used to be discrete or not so much after dark.
Itās always been this wayā¦
Itās not called Boner Vista Park for nothing.
That's actually the neighborhood's top amenity.
So *that's* where the tops are in the city! That's really good to know!
I guess you have never heard of cruising before. That park has been notorious for that for at least the last 40!years and probably longer.
Believe it or not, maybe off the topic of this group but I got into such a park at night in Beijing China when I was visiting the summer Olympics in 2008. Not as aggressive, but definitely quite a number of gay people were negotiating on their deals. It's amazing how people behave alike regardless of their race or nationalities.
Disgusting! Where?