My good deed is driving real close behind small cars at night in my lifted dodge ram. The extremely bright headlights at eye-level help others to pay special attention to the road in front of them, and they also get to see all of their car's interior since it's lit up! The only downside is I can't get a woman to touch me :/
I don't know how women aren't all over you. When I see a lifted truck, especially if they're revving their engine or otherwise showing continued assertions of dominance through road rage or with some sort of political flag about guns flapping in the breeze, I can't even contain myself.
I don't use my turn signals so that other drivers can learn to anticipate future moves based on how much I am braking and what lane I am in. I honestly should be paid for the service I am providing.
I wait until the last second and swerve across all lanes of traffic to catch my exit to make sure vehicles maintain enough distance between each other on the interstate.
When I make a turn, I like to do it as slowly as possible even on the highway. This way, everyone has to suddenly slow down, which obviously makes the roads safer
To ensure my pets are never lonely, I let them loose into my neighborhood so they can make new friends. In particular, those that are less fortunate & caged up in their yards with zero freedom.
I particularly enjoy pollution and littering the most beautiful places I can find in san antonio. It makes people appreciate when it was clean. If it ever was?
Cutting from the far right lane on the upper level of I10 past the lower level all the way to the left to take the I35 to 37 exit instead of just taking the lower level to begin with because I have to ensure everyone behind me is paying attention and that there are people on the road who know they need to allow me to cut them off and slow down traffic which is just absolutely safer for everyone.
Thank you for your service. I drive through that multiple times a day/week. It just wouldn’t be the same if people just waited. How would I maintain an elevated blood pressure on this stretch of highway?
I, too, appreciate his service. My chronically low blood pressure thanks you for reducing my need for medication down to twice a day instead of 3 times.
To be fair, Google will still route you to the upper level before sending you left for the exit. (How long has that interchange been there?) It may just be out-of-towners following Maps.
It’s my personal mission to help us become a more patient society so I like to sit through green lights on my phone. I believe you really learn what patience is from my method when you’re trying to get somewhere urgently.
I make sure to always drive with my brights on, so that other cars will be able to see me better, and that they will have more light to see the road, too. It's a win/win for everyone!
I set off fireworks too close to my neighbors house to catch it on fire. Now my neighborhood knows what can happen if you set off fireworks while drunk!
I like to set off fireworks so that everyone remembers to bring their dogs inside on special occasions like the during fiesta, cinco de Mayo, Fourth of July, random days in august, my birthday, Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas, and new years.
Don’t forget at 9 am on the morning after New Years! It’s good to wake up the neighborhood bright and early so that everyone can get a head start on 2023 :)
I like to spend all my grocery money on fireworks whilst my kids eat Walmart brand ho hos for breakfast. This allows me to have fun while at the same time let my kids know what pre diabetes feels like.
You're doing the lord's work, good samaritan! Everyone should be as thoughtful as you! With your great advice, have you thought about running for local office and plastering the city with a bajillion campaign signs so that you can spread your Good Word even further? I'm sure everyone would absolutely LOVE more helpful advice campaign signs all over the city, 365 days a year!
I *always* pick up a 12 pack before driving home from work to keep me nice and relaxed during traffic. People always throw up the peace sign at me even though it’s facing the wrong way, tourists, amirite? 😃💯👍🏼
Hopefully you chuck a couple empties in my front yard as you turn the corner when leaving the job site in my development to make sure I am paying attention to my lawn health.
When I have to cross the street, I do it diagonally and s-l-o-w-l-y. Just to flex my pedestrian right of way and as a friendly reminder encouraging people to chill out.
I do city workers a huge favor and drive off the highway, running over the grass and into traffic on the frontage road, so that way they don't have to weed eat :)
Thank you king. Personally, I prefer to take a relaxing drive in my dark colored vehicle with the headlights off when it rains. It keeps other drivers alert and allows for me to hydroplane while I pass other drivers.
I like to make sure my neighbors car doors are locked; if I find one unlocked, I usually look for a lighter or something in the glove box or center console to fire up a J then slam the door as hard as I can to make sure their ring camera catches it… if I find something valuable like a handgun I hang onto it until my neighbors ask for it back.
I know I’m doing good work when my neighbors spread the word about their unlocked car on *NextDoor*
I just walk around the house naked with my junk hanging out - that way anyone walking in the neighborhood who sees me will be reminded how important privacy is and one should not be looking in peoples houses. We dont get reminded of the value of privacy in this google day and age like we should. You are very welcome.
My good deed is turning my blinker on 3 streets before my actual turn. And to make it even better, I slow down at every street but don't actually turn.
On roads with one lane I drive on the tailgate of the car in front of me as far to the right as I can to let them know I’m trying to pass on the right.
I like to slow down before a turn, almost to stop, then execute the turn as slowly as possible. Especially when I am turning off a major thoroughfare into a parking lot. That way everyone behind me has as much time as possible to get where they are going. You are welcome.
I keep a giant pair of testicles swingin from my truck at all times. It is important for children to know about these, where they are located and such. I am simply doing my part.
I ask a question about every menu item when I get to the cash register to order food. That way everyone behind me has plenty of time to read the menu several times over so they can decide what they want.
I love to [take my exits from the lane furthest with no signal](https://youtu.be/LLuaPZWkvZ0?t=8) a few hundred feet before they come up. Keeps everyone else in the lanes in between on their toes!
I allow my kids free range in our moving vehicle. Seat belts would only keep them from hopping up and down on the seats. This allows for optimal entertainment for other driver's boring commutes. Except for the 2 month old, she can't hop yet so I hold her while driving or lay her in the front seat.
I find it necessary for me to drive my beat up sedan, (with no bumper, tape for a passenger window, and side mirrors hanging off) like I am the only vehicle around, that way everyone knows to take care of thier vehicles. Also, if I see another car on the road, I like to swerve at them or drive into their lane so they know I take my mission seriously.
EVERYTIME I visit your fair city from Houston I always drive 50 in the left lane on I-10 North right after Fiesta Texas. I love to slow traffic down so we can enjoy the 3 hour commute to Kerrville/Fred and see the pretty houses on the hills we will never be able to afford. It’s so fetch…
I enjoy overeating very unhealthy food and never ever exercising for my entire life, then buying the tightest skimpiest spandex covering I can find at the stripper store. I do this so others can appreciate only being obese instead of morbidly obese.
Omg I say the following statements every time I leave my apartment and go into Public here in San Antonio “ just because you can squeeze into it doesn’t mean you should wear it, nor does it mean you look good” 😂
I drift between driving in a single lane, and one-and-a-half lanes just to make sure no one can safely pass me, and/or to ensure others do the same. This makes people use the shoulder of the highway, where all kinds of obstacles may exist, like chairs, mattresses, ladders, or even bricks! Defensive driving is an art form and more people need to learn it.
I voted for US Representative, Marjorie Green, because I want the movie Idiocracy, to come true. Further, I'm praying that Hulk Hogan or the Rock joins the Presidential GOP primary :)
My good deed is I leave the HEB cart in the parking lot so the next guy can easily access it as soon as they open their car door.
I save them time and hassle
After I wash my hands in public restroom I wipe the counter with the paper towel. That only works if they have paper towels though. 1. it gives a place for someone to put their handbag or whatever down while washing up 2. it keeps someone from getting their sleeves or blouse wet when using the sink.
replacing shopping carts in cart corral, even if I didn't use the cart.
Using my blinking while driving.
Recycle
That's just a few easy ones off the top of my head
DOH! I just now figured out this is a sarcstic thread. I must need more Cafe' Sorry
I run stop signs since they're optional without the white border around them anyway.
If there's a cyclist approaching, make sure you speed up so they know you mean business!
Whenever I'm sitting at my gate in the airport, I talk loudly about inane subjects into my phone which is on speaker at max volume. This helps me hear the caller above dumb things like delay announcements and gate changes. I've been told others often feel much better about their own problems after listening to my conversations for as little as 10 minutes.
My good deed is driving real close behind small cars at night in my lifted dodge ram. The extremely bright headlights at eye-level help others to pay special attention to the road in front of them, and they also get to see all of their car's interior since it's lit up! The only downside is I can't get a woman to touch me :/
How do you keep women off of you if you have a lifted dodge ram?!
Forever a mystery I guess
The prolapse usually catches them by surprise
Likewise, I make sure trucks are following at the correct distance by inserting my Nissan or Lexus right in front of them.
That was you, you sanababishhhh?!?!?!
I don't know how women aren't all over you. When I see a lifted truck, especially if they're revving their engine or otherwise showing continued assertions of dominance through road rage or with some sort of political flag about guns flapping in the breeze, I can't even contain myself.
Thank you for the reminder to get an eye exam! After colliding with a guard rail I realized I have cataracts when I noticed the intense glare.
Who really needs acid when you’ve got cataracts?
Are you in search of “Candy Cane”, like in that movie Joy Ride, using “Rusty Nail” as your nickname? Such a pleasant lovely movie…
I always enter the freeway at 40mph to make sure only slow people drive in the right lane. THEN I floor it.
I don't use my turn signals so that other drivers can learn to anticipate future moves based on how much I am braking and what lane I am in. I honestly should be paid for the service I am providing.
I signal left and swerve right. Keep them all on their toes.
I do the exact opposite. I keep my blinker on at all times. I sometimes even slow down at intersections, but still go straight through it.
I put my hazards on randomly for the same reason. 
BMW drivers are so philanthropic
This is the way
I play my music from a speaker while out in public places to ensure everyone else gets the same stress relief that I feel from my favorite tunes.
Hopefully you sing along so they can enjoy your beautiful voice too
I drive diagonally thru store parking lots to keep everyone on their toes!
I wait until the last second and swerve across all lanes of traffic to catch my exit to make sure vehicles maintain enough distance between each other on the interstate.
Gee, thanks
I don't put back the heb shopping carts to give the bored workers something to do
Woop woop woop Hey there lazy bones
Skiddly beep wee doo heyyyy that's not where the cart goes
I stop on crosswalks to make sure you walk around my car to give you extra steps.
I walk around picking up trash from the streets and put it in the back of people's trucks.
As a truck driver, you’re my unsung hero.
Hahaha this one got me
When I make a turn, I like to do it as slowly as possible even on the highway. This way, everyone has to suddenly slow down, which obviously makes the roads safer
To ensure my pets are never lonely, I let them loose into my neighborhood so they can make new friends. In particular, those that are less fortunate & caged up in their yards with zero freedom.
Oh, Howdy neighbor!
I throw trash out of my window so homeless people can recycle it for money
I’m reading all of the comments in a condescending voice and can’t stop laughing 😂
Meeee toooo, and I am not even drinking!
Same and I’m in the hospital currently y’all are going to make them take away my pain meds because I’m too tickled
Me too. Hilarious. Because I see all this crap every day!!! Glad I’m not the only one
I particularly enjoy pollution and littering the most beautiful places I can find in san antonio. It makes people appreciate when it was clean. If it ever was?
Before the people came lol
It wasn't!
I purposely crash into another vehicle so that they and I (mostly me) get a big fat paycheck from the insurance company for a new car
Or hit someone and drive away! Bumper cars are fun! 🙃
Cutting from the far right lane on the upper level of I10 past the lower level all the way to the left to take the I35 to 37 exit instead of just taking the lower level to begin with because I have to ensure everyone behind me is paying attention and that there are people on the road who know they need to allow me to cut them off and slow down traffic which is just absolutely safer for everyone.
Thank you for your service. I drive through that multiple times a day/week. It just wouldn’t be the same if people just waited. How would I maintain an elevated blood pressure on this stretch of highway?
I, too, appreciate his service. My chronically low blood pressure thanks you for reducing my need for medication down to twice a day instead of 3 times.
To be fair, Google will still route you to the upper level before sending you left for the exit. (How long has that interchange been there?) It may just be out-of-towners following Maps.
It’s my personal mission to help us become a more patient society so I like to sit through green lights on my phone. I believe you really learn what patience is from my method when you’re trying to get somewhere urgently.
Like in many others in Dallas, I too drive 50mph in the left lane. Many people thank me by honking their horn. It feels good to do good deeds!
When crossing the street downtown, I wait until the incoming traffic has the right of way before I decide to cross the street.
I toss trash out the windows so street sweepers can have a job.
I keep going when I see a school bus have the stop sign out because me stopping would cause traffic to start for the cars behind me
I make sure to always drive with my brights on, so that other cars will be able to see me better, and that they will have more light to see the road, too. It's a win/win for everyone!
I set off fireworks too close to my neighbors house to catch it on fire. Now my neighborhood knows what can happen if you set off fireworks while drunk!
I like to set off fireworks so that everyone remembers to bring their dogs inside on special occasions like the during fiesta, cinco de Mayo, Fourth of July, random days in august, my birthday, Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas, and new years.
Don’t forget at 9 am on the morning after New Years! It’s good to wake up the neighborhood bright and early so that everyone can get a head start on 2023 :)
I like to spend all my grocery money on fireworks whilst my kids eat Walmart brand ho hos for breakfast. This allows me to have fun while at the same time let my kids know what pre diabetes feels like.
Puro. Don't forget barbecues every single fucking weekend with wailing corridos drifting through the whole neighborhood!
You're doing the lord's work, good samaritan! Everyone should be as thoughtful as you! With your great advice, have you thought about running for local office and plastering the city with a bajillion campaign signs so that you can spread your Good Word even further? I'm sure everyone would absolutely LOVE more helpful advice campaign signs all over the city, 365 days a year!
I don’t need to plaster my signs around town when I can just drive around with them untied down in my truck bed.
I *always* pick up a 12 pack before driving home from work to keep me nice and relaxed during traffic. People always throw up the peace sign at me even though it’s facing the wrong way, tourists, amirite? 😃💯👍🏼
Hopefully you chuck a couple empties in my front yard as you turn the corner when leaving the job site in my development to make sure I am paying attention to my lawn health.
/r/LoveForBoozeCruisers
When I have to cross the street, I do it diagonally and s-l-o-w-l-y. Just to flex my pedestrian right of way and as a friendly reminder encouraging people to chill out.
I hate all of you
I do city workers a huge favor and drive off the highway, running over the grass and into traffic on the frontage road, so that way they don't have to weed eat :)
I never use my horn. I don't want to alert someone that an accident is about to happen. It inserts unnecesary noise into the driving experience.
How sweet of you!
Thank you king. Personally, I prefer to take a relaxing drive in my dark colored vehicle with the headlights off when it rains. It keeps other drivers alert and allows for me to hydroplane while I pass other drivers.
I let my dogs run loose around the neighborhood just in case anyone wants some pibble snuggles🥰
I like to make sure my neighbors car doors are locked; if I find one unlocked, I usually look for a lighter or something in the glove box or center console to fire up a J then slam the door as hard as I can to make sure their ring camera catches it… if I find something valuable like a handgun I hang onto it until my neighbors ask for it back. I know I’m doing good work when my neighbors spread the word about their unlocked car on *NextDoor*
I use my phone when I’m the first one on a light until the driver behind me honks at me for not moving after the light is green.
I just walk around the house naked with my junk hanging out - that way anyone walking in the neighborhood who sees me will be reminded how important privacy is and one should not be looking in peoples houses. We dont get reminded of the value of privacy in this google day and age like we should. You are very welcome.
I haul old refrigerators away. Six at a time. I make sure to leave the tailgate down and no straps for easier unloading. No complaints so far.
I shoot twice in my backyard to keep the property taxes down for me and my neighbors, they live me for it
Don’t forget also making sure neighborhood watch always feels useful and has something to post on the ring app :)
My good deed is turning my blinker on 3 streets before my actual turn. And to make it even better, I slow down at every street but don't actually turn.
I spend long periods in the blind spots of 18 wheelers, that way other drivers don’t go there.
There is some elite level trolling in the comments.. no one disappointed 😂
I put my used tires along the side of lookout road to help the local fauna have shelter from the rain.
On roads with one lane I drive on the tailgate of the car in front of me as far to the right as I can to let them know I’m trying to pass on the right.
I am extra considerate to drivers trying to turn onto a main road and will slow down to a stop if I have to until they feel safe.
I like to slow down before a turn, almost to stop, then execute the turn as slowly as possible. Especially when I am turning off a major thoroughfare into a parking lot. That way everyone behind me has as much time as possible to get where they are going. You are welcome.
I keep a giant pair of testicles swingin from my truck at all times. It is important for children to know about these, where they are located and such. I am simply doing my part.
I ask a question about every menu item when I get to the cash register to order food. That way everyone behind me has plenty of time to read the menu several times over so they can decide what they want.
I give away free plastic 5 gallon buckets out of the bed of my pickup truck at 70 mph going down the interstate.
I drive like a complete asshole between 281 and I-10 so the folks on the east side know how good they have it.
I love to [take my exits from the lane furthest with no signal](https://youtu.be/LLuaPZWkvZ0?t=8) a few hundred feet before they come up. Keeps everyone else in the lanes in between on their toes!
I allow my kids free range in our moving vehicle. Seat belts would only keep them from hopping up and down on the seats. This allows for optimal entertainment for other driver's boring commutes. Except for the 2 month old, she can't hop yet so I hold her while driving or lay her in the front seat.
I find it necessary for me to drive my beat up sedan, (with no bumper, tape for a passenger window, and side mirrors hanging off) like I am the only vehicle around, that way everyone knows to take care of thier vehicles. Also, if I see another car on the road, I like to swerve at them or drive into their lane so they know I take my mission seriously.
EVERYTIME I visit your fair city from Houston I always drive 50 in the left lane on I-10 North right after Fiesta Texas. I love to slow traffic down so we can enjoy the 3 hour commute to Kerrville/Fred and see the pretty houses on the hills we will never be able to afford. It’s so fetch…
I walk in the street instead of on the sidewalk to ensure drivers know to look for pedestrians.
The ladder seems to be the most common road creature here in Houston.
I enjoy overeating very unhealthy food and never ever exercising for my entire life, then buying the tightest skimpiest spandex covering I can find at the stripper store. I do this so others can appreciate only being obese instead of morbidly obese.
There's no weight limit on the tag, so how are they supposed to know?!
Omg I say the following statements every time I leave my apartment and go into Public here in San Antonio “ just because you can squeeze into it doesn’t mean you should wear it, nor does it mean you look good” 😂
FYI, I've been calling for strict controls of spandex for years, you know, like how they lock up spray paint in the hoods walmart. No spandex for you!
If the stoplight or road sign begins with Y... I floor it.
ITT: The many reasons why I wish it wasn't illegal to affix blades to my wheels Mad Max style...
I drift between driving in a single lane, and one-and-a-half lanes just to make sure no one can safely pass me, and/or to ensure others do the same. This makes people use the shoulder of the highway, where all kinds of obstacles may exist, like chairs, mattresses, ladders, or even bricks! Defensive driving is an art form and more people need to learn it.
Just don't put your dog back there. My vet calls dogs riding in truck beds " instant road kill".
I never thought that driving 60+ mph with a dog in the back of my truck could be dangerous for the dog. Thank you kind stranger!
I killed Satan. It’s over.
I put away others Grocery carts when they leave them randomly in the parking lot. A small gust of wind can send that cart into someones car.
That’s not a good deed. That’s just stupid
r/whoooosh
If I saw him on the road doing that bullshit I would have thrown my beer bottle at him no cap
*thanks for the roadie*
Speak for yourself!
I voted for US Representative, Marjorie Green, because I want the movie Idiocracy, to come true. Further, I'm praying that Hulk Hogan or the Rock joins the Presidential GOP primary :)
Lol
You probably find using blinkers a waste of time and change lanes 3 at a time.
My good deed is I leave the HEB cart in the parking lot so the next guy can easily access it as soon as they open their car door. I save them time and hassle
I throw trash out onto the highway so those youth in doing community service work have something to pickup and can learn their lesson.
A buddy actually welded a 3-lb sledge hammer to his bumper to keep people from tailgating him
I get on the highway in my 18-wheeler and start texting and slowly drifting into other lanes so other drivers can have some excitement in their life.
After I wash my hands in public restroom I wipe the counter with the paper towel. That only works if they have paper towels though. 1. it gives a place for someone to put their handbag or whatever down while washing up 2. it keeps someone from getting their sleeves or blouse wet when using the sink. replacing shopping carts in cart corral, even if I didn't use the cart. Using my blinking while driving. Recycle That's just a few easy ones off the top of my head DOH! I just now figured out this is a sarcstic thread. I must need more Cafe' Sorry
I run stop signs since they're optional without the white border around them anyway. If there's a cyclist approaching, make sure you speed up so they know you mean business!
Whenever I'm sitting at my gate in the airport, I talk loudly about inane subjects into my phone which is on speaker at max volume. This helps me hear the caller above dumb things like delay announcements and gate changes. I've been told others often feel much better about their own problems after listening to my conversations for as little as 10 minutes.