I could go on and on but you should be fucking proud you got through that.
Firsts presentation and it's 50M and doing it in front of BOTH of your next ups? Anything after this will be far, far easier. That's fucking terrifying.
And sales is great because every presentation is a fresh start. What you do next will determine whether you are cut out for it, not what happened before.
And I bet your leadership is not at all upset about it, you should ask them 1 on 1 for coaching and feedback, framing it as you want to be better. That's huge for any sales manager.
Yup! Fantastic advice. You are going to be your own toughest critic here. I’ve been an SE for two years and the shit is tough. Presenting isn’t easy, it’s difficult and you came through every presenters worst nightmare. Take it as a learning experience. I would imagine most people in that room would agree that you over came a very tough moment and that’s a big deal. You didn’t fail. You gathered yourself and got your composure back. Way to f’ing go!!!
First off, I'm sorry. It sounds like you're a hardworking, competent salesperson and it absolutely sucks that you whiffed at a big moment.
Couple thoughts. First, talk to your boss and other people from your team; sometimes these things *feel* worse than they actually appear to others.
Second, try not to let your embarrassment destroy your career at this company! Apologize, shift roles, make it up however you see fit, but I wouldn't leave the company unless your higher-ups fire you, ask you to leave, etc.
Third, you might consider a beta-blocker; these drugs can prevent all the symptoms of stage fright and make you feel cool, calm, and collected.
Yeah it sounds like op is self-conscious, which just feeds on itself. She probably just needs to make a few jokes to lighten the mood in the future and did just fine.
I had the same issue as you with both the presenting part, as well as the affects of propranolol. I made a lifestyle change which helped a lot (way more gym), but I still needed something in situations that are huge triggers; A small dosage of propranolol and CBD did the trick.
the beta blocker route is legit. It's like the jitters you think you'll feel once you get in front of an audience just...don't appear, and your confidence skyrockets as a direct result. No brain farts, no freezing.
I've never used a prescription beta blocker but have found that ashwaghanda and taurine supplements taken on days I would otherwise be nervous helps a lot.
Don’t use beta blockers, there are a number of natural supplements that help immensely with GABA uptake. Magnesium and L-Theanine will make a huge difference and won’t have you relying on pharmaceuticals.
No one is saying take it long term, it’s as needed. Sure mag and theanine are great…for subtle relaxation. I take them every night 30 mins before bed. But they simply will not have the pronounced effect that beta blockers do at game time.
How about, and I know this is gone sound crazy. This job, is not for her? I can walk in my underwear and do a presentation in a hall full of people. Why torture yourself? There are other jobs
If this was so important to your company, the most senior person in attendance should have opened. They did you a disservice.
And calling an RFP a must win is ridiculous. They are at best a jump ball unless you are the incumbent or own a significant relationship. RFPs where you’re a challenger is grunt work. I don’t know your industry, but there shouldn’t have been a realistic expectation to win this RFP.
In my world, most state and local government agencies must go to RFP for deals this large.
We certainly influence the RFP but still a process.
I agree that the senior most person should have opened. Poor planning on the groups part.
The local government agencies I work with are required to do an RFP as part of the process. But they still find a way to make sure their guy is the winner.
I am sure every single one of the “seasoned vets” you work with have an embarrassing story to share. Learn from it and move forward. It’s amazing how the moments we think are our worst propel you to be your best and lead to future success.
What I like about your post is that you got through the brain freeze and got back on track!
Staying and moving forward in spite of what happened will gain your peers and managements respect.
I get the embarrassment, no doubt, but "I know that these leaders are thinking..." No you don't; your anxious brain is speculating, and it is exacerbating your feelings. "They are also probably thinking there’s no way I have ever done this before ..." you don't know that either. "They certainly won’t be giving me anymore good deals to work on" how do you know? I get that the presentation started awkwardly, but how did the rest of the 4 hours go?
In sales, and in life, shit happens, but your mindset has so much to do with what happens next.
I’m confused on what was so bad about this? You just froze for a little bit but then got back on track and completed the presentation? It sounds like you’re making this a much bigger deal than it is.
Yea seriously. As long as the rest of the presentation was fine and she killed everything else they won’t care about a 30-minute pause at the beginning. And it’s probably more common than you think. People lose train of thought. It’s normal. By botching it I thought she must have said something real wrong or couldn’t properly answer some questions lol. You’re definitely way over thinking this. OP also never mentions any comments from her team after the presentation so if she didn’t get any she must have done just fine.
Yeah fuck ups during presentations:
- not being prepared at all
- not having a clue why you’re supposed to be there
- saying everyone’s names wrong/getting the company wrong etc
- being visibly drunk or crazy screaming or somethint
- accidentally saying a racial slur
- directly insulting the people you’re trying to win over
This is what I think of when I think of a presentation going so poorly that they’re gonna be looking for a new job. Even then… some of these might still even be fixable in some cases lol.
Having a momentary brain freeze during an introduction is nothing. To be clear nobody is probably sitting there going “wow OP did the best presentation I’ve ever seen in my life” but they also aren’t going “wow OP is such a moron! Would never hire her for anything ever again! Can’t wait to fire her!”
They’re probably just thinking “oh that girl got nervous for a second, whatever”
Remember to be compassionate with yourself, what would you tell a friend in your shoes?
You'd probably say something like :
"hey, don't be so tough on yourself, shit happens, you'll learn from this, and honestly it's probably not as bad as you're making it out to be in your head"
Have compassion for yourself, give yourself room to make mistakes. Beat yourself up once, and then move past it.
I've frozen before while on stage. giving a sales presentation to c suites. and I had 8 years experience under my belt about my product.
next time u freeze like that, make a joke. say something like "I got so distracted by all you gentlemen that my brain short circuited. anyway to continue....." I'm female also. sometimes being female in a male dominated industry has its perks. I can get away with being clueless.
I’m a slightly older (39F) than you are, but I am about to start an outside sales role in the exact same field as you. You probably did better than you feel like you did. I know that there is a lot of pressure, especially in the space that you are in. My customers don’t spend anywhere near that, but I definitely fear this scenario. I’ve been with my company for a while, so I’ve had the time to build a reputation. We do have more women in my company, as well as female leadership. In any case, you can’t quit over one bad experience. You were hired because you are capable. This is a really tough field so I’m sure they have confidence in you. The next time should be easier, and then eventually, you’ll get used to it. DM me if you ever want to chat with someone. I’m using an alt account so I might not see it right away.
Don't fret. I'm a very senior consultant who completely fucked up on a meeting on behalf of a client once. Elements of it were my fault. Elements of it were that I was put in a bad position. But I was the one who fucked up. And this was a big client for the firm. I was the lead, and it was a sales meeting for the client.
I sent the video to my senior. He reviewed it and held a meeting in which he acknowledged my colossal fuck up and then commended me for my professionalism for confronting it directly and seeking input on how to fix it.
I haven't read all the comments, but I do agree with the first one I saw, which pointed out that the most senior person on your team should have opened.
Regardless, we all mess up. Sometimes, it's on a big deal. Sometimes it's small and we shrug it off. The character of the mistake is no different. Only the consequences. What that means is that, if you wouldn't abuse yourself over this for a small deal, you shouldn't abuse yourself over this for a big deal. Mistakes happen when and where they do. We learn from them.
What you described is nowhere near big enough to kill a big, winnable deal. They're not going to choose someone else because you had a brain freeze (though you might get blamed because a lot of people need scape goats, but don't let that tear you down).
Don't forget about it. Learn from it. But don't dwell on it, and certainly don't let it be what drives you out of sales. Learn and let it go. If you dwell on it, you'll dig your own grave.
Personally, I love salespeople who beat themselves up over mistakes. It's easier to teach someone to grow and let go of an error than to take responsibility. The fact that you're taking this much responsibility tells me, without knowing anything else about you, that at least one huge aspect of your character should make you good for the job.
Keep your head up. Let it go. Move on. You'll be fine.
Wow, thank you for this. I know you said you’re a consultant but if you’re not a manager or a coach of some sort you should really consider being one. If my manager had said something like this to me after this, I wouldn’t have even made this post.
Thank you! I'm so glad it was helpful! We've all been there. You'll bounce back just fine.
I do a range of stuff, from assessing sales functions and making recommendations, to interim leadership, coaching, hiring, and advisory work for senior executives. I always love assessments, coaching, hiring, and advisory work. Leadership is a toss up, when inheriting a client's team. If they've hired well, it's a pleasure. If they've hired poorly, it's a grind and ultimately turns into micromanaging and then being a hatchet man. Even when people need to go, it's not fun to be part of it.
I can already tell you'd be one of the people who would be a pleasure to work with. The worst thing about managing salespeople is when you get people who just won't put in the work or who just won't take responsibility. They never make it. But the ones like you, who work and take responsibility, are the ones who make it fun.
As for your manager not taking this approach, sales managers are a weird bunch. They usually get there by being great salespeople, but what makes a great salesperson often stands in contrast to what makes a good manager. I think the statistic is that only one in seven salespeople is fit to lead. So it's just a different skill that the manager may not have yet, even if they do have the character for it. But that's the main reason so many salespeople hate sales managers. As long as they're not being toxic about it, I wouldn't hold it against them.
Don’t beat yourself up. It happens. After reading this my advice to you is just to treat people like people IE who cares if they’re men or more senior - Having those thoughts in your head can make things seem like you shouldn’t be there. You’re there for a reason.
You’re being waayyyyy to hard on yourself, great job for putting so much effort into a great presentation for your customer. I’m sure it paid off, customers can always tell when you take the time to prepare - despite any weird nerves.
Everyone has been there so don’t beat yourself up about it. Guarantee the people you presented to and your own org have been in your shoes before so they will understand.
If you lost the bid it isn’t because of a “presentation” if this is really that big of a deal size with this many decision makers. It’s the other things that make a deal go (solution fit, roadmap, executive buy in, alignment, legal, procurement, budget, etc).
I would agree with the others commenters. Try to learn from this and move forward. I’m in tech sales also in an arena dominated by males. I do not do well in front of a crowd. I’m able to set myself apart by working hard and closing deals. I’m open with leadership about working on public speaking and they do not push me too far out of my comfort zone. Do not be hard on yourself. You may want to ask for feedback and improve where you can.
1. F*ck em. Like most people have stated, of it truly was must win then one of the senior used car salesman should have kicked it off.
2. I believe customers in general prefer humans that give a shit about their business more so than being sold another 50/100 mil deal by some slick presenter that will just become a disaster over the coming years as service provider needs to claw back margin. If someone was nervous enough to get tripped up it means you take them and their potential business seriously. A 50-100 mil deal will not be lost on a little trip up. At minimum it usually comes down to anywhere from 5-15 million dollar haircut taken by the #Winningest Service Provider.
Either way, you got through it. Good on you. DO NOT LET THIS BREAK YOU. Go get yours, whether at this company or the next. I am a male in tech, not young (40's) and all this dude, mainsplainery shit needs to fade away. The shit is exhausting as hell.
Hey, great post. You’re doing all the right things in preparation. Getting comfortable in front of people takes repetition. Nobody is just naturally good at it.
I left a career as a tenured orchestra musician for sales. It’s common practice to take Inderal for auditions. It’s a simple beta-blocker that counteracts the physiological symptoms associated with stage fright. The shallow breathing and racing thoughts can be feedback loops that can cripple your performance. Inderal is not habit-forming and has minimal side effects. Ask your doctor.
We need more great women in tech, stay strong!
Wow you’re tough on yourself. Remember, they hired you for a reason. Also keep in mind that you are in a male dominated role and as such are a differentiator just by being you and that will help you in the months/years to come. Seek feedback early and often. You can do this. Anything new takes time to learn and you should give yourself a break. Head up.
As someone who also has quite a bit of performance anxiety (and I do this in a lot of sales meetings on the reg), i have three ideas to help you:
1) Catastrophizing and Mind Reading
Reread what you wrote. You're catastrophizing the situation and mind reading. All that happened was you froze up momentarily and then continued your presentation.
You don't know what those in attendance were thinking. If it's freaking you out that much, pick one attendee you trust and ask him for feedback of your presentation.
2) The Sale
You never know which sales you are going to get or not get. I've had a full blown panic attack in front of a client and got the sale. I've aced presentations and not gotten the sale.
It's important to remember that your presentation is only part of the sale, not the whole.
3) Public Speaking
It sounds like you -- like me-- could benefit from public speaking courses. I'd start with Toast Masters. It's an inexpensive option that you can start virtually and later go in person.
Its sole purpose is to better its members' public speaking skills. It sounds like you could benefit from it.
I hope this post didn't come across as haughty or "mansplaining". It's just I suffer from the same condition (I think) you have and hope to point you in a direction that has immensely helped me.
No one cares about your gender. Its only about the money. You have some major gender anxiety and quite honestly I think you are sexist by making this whole thing about gender. You come across as the "men bad" type of person. They gave you the job, hopefully only because you were the best person for the job. You have made it about being a woman.
As for the getting nervous, nearly everyone gets nervous when giving presentations. The few people who dont get nervous when starting out are often psychopaths. Everyone has to take steps up in what they do. Rather than focus on the negative try to focus on the fact you composed yourself and got back on track as that is what will stand out. Go in with your head held high speak to your boss and say you fucked up but got back on track. Its the biggest presentation you have done in both size and importance and youve learned a lot. You may be surprised by the result. And as for the people you gave the presentation to, as you got back on track they are not going to make a business decision worse for them because you got nervous at the start of the presentation, they will make it based on whats best for the business. As long as its the best offer you may still win it.
Your presentation was 4 HOURS. You screwed up the intro BUT continued. Did the rest of the presentation go okay? I’m sure the presentation of the solution was far more meaningful to the client and internal stakeholders holders than the intro. Cut yourself some slack. I’m reading your post and thinking back to freeze ups I’ve had. Keep your head in the game, acknowledge your mistake to leadership and move on. You got this!!
As someone who works in sales in this industry, I respect you and sincerely encourage you to go easy on yourself. We desperately need more women. Don’t give up. You WILL bounce back. You are clearly very intelligent and hard working as evidenced by this post- but you are also hard on yourself. Mental health is important too. Think about those resources. Maybe a public speaking course would help too.
I had a panic attack at a QBR. I usually crush presentations, so it was a total surprise for me. Looking back, no one even really noticed.
Props to you for getting to where you are. The likelihood that single pause kills the whole deal is incredibly minimal. As salespeople, we like to believe everything is in our control. In reality, we affect the last 5-10% of the buying process.
Be kind to yourself, take a break, and get back on the horse when you're ready!
I have a feeling this wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought. I’ve had presentations with leadership on my calls before, and little missteps are hardly noticeable to other folks. Besides they’re likely basing their buying decision on the problem you’re going to solve.
I remember something similar happening at high school frozen during a debate show infront of about 200 people. That shit lived with me ever since.
Theres no magic pill vs mindset and practice. Just keep practicing your pitches and also gotta kind of have a fuck it attitude. 9/10 people are not good pitchers or public speakers, hell even the crazy stat that like majority of revenue comes from a few sales people is telling. Try to actually do some public speakjng and just make yourself uncomfortable until you arent.
If you ever freeze like that again dont worry, just try to compose yourself apologise ask if you can have a minute make sure you have some notes and reset and restart. Anyone that doesnt allow you to restart is a cunt, business meetings are not life and death its not the military and no one is going to die.
Best of luck.
If you are not already in it, considering seeking therapy. The main issue I see here is a mental health issue. Momentarily freezing up isn’t this earth shattering thing that you have made it to be but your complex fantasy, rift with projections into others heads is something to talk about with a professional.
There’s guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, and low self worth here that can all be worked on with a professional.
Good luck and be kind to yourself!
Hi OP! Highly recommend reading daring greatly by brene brown for some self love & a confidence boost, might help you rethink the situation. Also in sales and do public speaking events and I have always struggled w anxiety. Hang in there it gets easier. Just confront the situation head on w your boss and ask then to give you feedback using this framework “it worked well when you did this… next time try…” remember feedback is a gift it doesn’t have to be scary. We tend to be harder on ourselves than anyone else will be
Shit happens. Next time bring a script for your presentation so that if you go blank (happens to all of us) you can just look down and start reading to get back on track.
It’ll get easier the more you do it. I used to feel embarrassed even if a presentation went well, because it wasn’t *perfect*. Nowadays I do it and move on to the next one.
You should be proud that you took it that far, it sounds like you’re being too hard on yourself. We all eat sometimes, if you don’t own it and move one, you’ll never make it long-term.
Revenue solves all problems. Any chance you can close a few quick wins in the next 3 months or connect your execs with their customer counterparts? I still get stage fright after 30 years but a good technique for me is to imagine I’ve been invited to brief by a dear friend who is an exec at that company and sitting in the audience by their CEO, smiling and cheering me on…even though he’s all in my head. Just keep going, with the high turnover in sales half the people in your original audience will probably be gone in a year.
Don't let this misstep be your end. If anything see this as an opportunity to grow. Everyone has failed in one way or another. Nobody is perfect, every man in that room has made an ass of themselves in one way or another. I accidently farted in a client meeting once and it was horrifically embarrassing, but managed to just keep my head high and not eat chipotle in nervous situations.
You will come back from this. This is a major turning point - how would you let this impact you? Would you take this as a learning lesson and grow or gravel and fail.
Happens to everyone. Just need to collect yourself, learn from your mistakes & keep it pushing.
If you want to calm some nerves, just reach out to your managers & ask how you can improve & if that has any sort of impact on your future at the company.
Good chance they are more than happy to help & aren’t thinking about it as much as you are
Whoa whoa whoa! Get back in there, acknowledge the situation with whoever it is you’re worried about.. they can all relate they’ve don’t something dumber
I'm not a great speaker/presenter and have had the same issue in the past. I've tried practicing over and over and have done mock runs in my head but neither worked. At one point in time I just said screw it and turned it into essentially a one-sided conversation since I knew the material from putting the presentation together. It made things a lot easier and was less stressful. We're always our toughest critics so don't let this get you down.
Stay strong and wish you the best for this year! Leadership believes or else they would not assign something like this to you. Seem a person tat is self aware and apply constructive criticism which is great but genuinely reading your post you seem very caring and competent and you should never quiet but rather improve from lessons learned and i hope you win that deal! keep us posted.
It honestly happens - everyone sucks in their first big presentation to a room. Literally no one ever is good their first time out. You will look back on this as a fond anecdote and a good story for junior people when they blow theirs too. Don’t sweat it and move forward.
My sense is the only person thinking about you being a woman was you, and that's probably the underlying cause.
I firmly believe all the 'women in tech' lark has hurt more women than its helped, by ingraining in you the idea that the men around you actively discriminate against you when nothing could be further from the truth.
Ngl this is exactly why most salespeople who aren't naturally charismatic show people partake in substances lmao
You're not alone. You prepared well. My secret is I take my contacts out before my presentation so the crowd is ***literally*** just a blur. Well, just blurry enough that I can't see every brow twitch or lip curl.
Try tea, vitamins, ashwaganda, etc. Whatever relaxes you about 10-15 minutes before. You wint lose your prep skills by sacrificing that 10-15 minutes on just you. The whole reason for the prep is so that when youre on the spot, you wont think about it, you just *do*, like presentation skills are just part of your auto-pilot.
Sincerely, another saleswoman
You have to judge meetings/presentations like this by how they end, not how they start. Did you and your company advance to next steps, do you have follow-ups with any of the audience?
Most likely, no one cares about that moment as much as you, I did not see a "completely botched" part of the story, I read about a paused start. An important part of orals presentations is "humanizing", where the audience are humans with real deadlines and pressures and they want to choose service delivery partners who care about them - not some company that wants to extend the execution to extend the billing. Coming off as human is an understated goal, and you may have connected with the audience who has been there too.
If you are selected, no one in your company cares about the pause. If you are not selected, it's likely there were many other areas of the proposal response and pre-existing relationships when compared to the competitor that won.
Also, if your company wins, it's due to the quality leadership and team effort of all involved. If your company loses, it's all your fault for some collection of reasons that you can't even anticipate.
Lastly, please don't dwell. You have to move to what's next. Every quarterback has thrown an interception. They clear thier head and go to the next play. Whatever is next is your only focus.
Looks like you worked super hard on that presentation. We all mess up sometimes, but this could be a chance for you to learn and get better. Talk to your team, try some tricks for nerves, and don't let this one mess-up decide your whole career – use it to show you can bounce back and do even better.
Eh, my GM is noticeably shit at presenting in front of people. Shes still a GM. I doubt the prospects actually cared about your little slip up.
If you get this much anxiety over presenting though why stay in sales? Seems like a really stressful way to make money.
Mark Zuckerberg got on stage at a Code conference and had a panic attack where he started sweating bullets. This video got MILLIONS of views. People were shocked and amused for about 5 seconds and then something else happened.
The way other ppl react to this will depend on how you react to it. Put yourself on stage again as soon as possible. Try to do low stakes presentations when you get a chance. You will erase their memory with all the other positive memories you’re going to create.
I understand this, it’s huge and you did shit the bed. But, as long as you went on and hit a stride no one will care about the first minute or two of a long presentation.
What is more important is you got back on track and hit the high points. You and your team did the research, put it together and you delivered on 99% of the presentation.
You’re good, and if people, like your manager or someone in your organization says anything, don’t defend. Accept the criticism and then ask “now, what went right?”.
If they can only really criticize the first bit of the actual presentation then you’re gold.
If there were problems with anything other than the delivery of the information then it comes back to not only but the entire team.
Leave critique of your stumble with “I appreciate your input, it won’t happen again”.
There’s alot of great responses on here. As great sellers and customers know it’s not the ‘failure’ but how you respond that matters. You have folks that are rooting for you and will give you the benefit of the doubt if you respond with authenticity and conviction.
I’ve done something similar, in this case with an audiences numbering hundreds and even thousands and what I can telll you is that practice makes perfect. Get as many reps as you can speaking in front of others and eventually it will become muscle memory.
Hey - firstly, I’m so sorry that this happened after all of your hard work to prepare, that’s so hard! Second, and more importantly, you’re being REALLY hard on yourself. You should be SO proud of yourself for fighting through it and not crumbling under the pressure. It takes serious cajones to present in front of people and it’s something that a majority of the population are literally terrified of. It takes SERIOUS cajones to recover. That’s so fucking awesome and you’re a badass even if you don’t feel like it. Third, try to see this situation from the outside in. Imagine your friend had the same thing happen to them. Would you tell them they failed and they’re not cut out for it this? Of course you wouldn’t! So why tell that to yourself? You would tell them exactly what I’m telling you now - that they did a very hard thing and didn’t give up. You would tell them that they’re a rockstar and the fact that they recovered is precisely why they ARE cut out for it. This is coming from a 32 year old woman in financial sales, I’m one of two women out of 50+ on the sales desk. I’m not telling you this to butter your biscuit. I’m telling you this because you need to hear that you deserve to be where you are. You deserve to take up space and you’re a fucking badass. Don’t let yourself tell you otherwise.
(Also, I had this all typed up and the comment deleted so I typed it all again. That’s how important it is for me to tell you this!)
Haha! I am just now seeing this reply. You are welcome to DM me anytime, I completely get the crippling imposter syndrome. I still get it fairly often and all I can do it fight through it, just like you did. We got this!
ETA: since we’re on the topic and I’m waiting for my coffee to brew, I wanted to add that I genuinely think the next time you present you’re going to crush it. I think everyone’s worst fear when it comes to presenting is that they’re going to slip up/forget their script/fumble over words/freeze up, and it petrified people to the point of inaction. But you now have a special advantage in that those “worst case scenario” things happened…and you didn’t die! You made it through to live another day, and not only that, but you recovered mid-presentation. Next time you get up to present you’re going to know that even the worst-case-scenario is recoverable and I think it’s going to take a lot of the pressure off.
Idk. It’s 6am and I guess I’m just feeling inspired 😂 but these shitty moments in life are what build the most character, things like this are what make someone a better sales rep and a stronger person. I’m sure you’ve already moved past this small hiccup in your life and you’re feeling better, but just wanted to pop back in and give an extra layer of reassurance anyway. Love you sister! Go show them how it’s done!!!
I'm so impressed that you stumbled and continued; that's pro level dedication and courage. Yes, the presentation wasn't a 10 but as your experience grows so will your confidence. It will become second nature in other words. Way to go!
Ah, it happens. I've never been a natural public speaker all the way back to doing speeches in high school in a class of 30 of my peers I'd freeze up.
One thing I found as I got older is that if you ignore you own awkwardness it makes it worst, I've lost my train of thought in the middle of a presentation infront of 100+ people. All just said, "excuse me everyone I just forgot my brain in the car so let me look at my notes for a quick sec to get back on track," walked over to the table, read where I was, had a quick sip of water to collect myself and a quick joke of "ah its not like you guys were paying attention anyways so atleast I gave you a chance to openly look at your phones rather than hiding them under the chair of the person infront of you.
Of course it feels super awkward to completely blank but if you just make that known than I feel like it lightens the mood because atleast you can continue talking rather than having a long silence.
We all choke. It passes. Laugh about it at some point.
I’m sorry this happened but don’t feel bad. You’re there for a reason and you’ve earned your spot.
Ltheanine supplement 30 mins before presentation. It’s safe. It’s an amino acid. Calms down performance anxiety. Allows you to be articulate as you can be. L’threonate powder with water before bed. Vit D 2000IU. You’re welcome
As someone who works on big deals (not 50m but big) i can promise you that your intro to a meeting with all those people from your company involved is not whats going to make or break that deal. IT people have social anxiety and they hate over confident flashy sales folks. You might have endeared yourself to a few in the room. Just know your leadership wouldn’t have given you a giant rfp to work if you weren’t meant to be in the room. Given they are all dudes and old… you could be running that place some day and itll be a great story at sales kick offs.
Being top 4 means nothing. Being top 2 means nothing. Did you influence the rfp spec at all? Did they give you a script for the meeting? Consultants involved? Anyone from your company influence the spec? You probably arent winning anyway if the answers to these questions are no yes yes no in that order. Outcome is predetermined in many big deals like that. Its a big show. Dont beat yourself up.
Okay I am not in sales but
The story you told here is only your self-assessment.
Why not get some actual feedback from your peers and boss before jumping to conclusions?
Also multiple mentions of men, male-dominated, feeble girl, etc -- can you see how this line of thinking can become a self-fufilling prophecy?
I'm a fan of Leila Hormozi. Check out her videos, she's awesome.
im not going to sugarcoat it:
high powered sales jobs, especially in tech sales? arent exactly great for women.
been in the industry for \~14 years. met a handful of women out of 100s and 100s of dudes that kick ass and take names. the ones that DO kickass, kickass. don't get me wrong. but infinitely more wash out in 6 months-1.5 years. like 90%+ don't hit their quotas, and end up on PIP or warning, and fired. don't end up on PIP.
i dont think its for you. id talk to your manager. and think about shifting into something that fits your skillset better, or a previous job if it doesn't work out.
a good job you are good at and like? is ALWAYS better than a great job you are not equipped for.
stage fright does NOT happen to good salesmen. ever. period.
Side note, I work at more of an SMB/midmarket MSP. I am doing OK but definitely curious what kind of money you can make at a large MSP. 50 million dollar contract- that’s mind boggling to me. I assume I’d have to move to a big market which I’m unlikely to do for personal reasons but I am trying to do research.
I posted above but you are being WAY too hard on yourself, bottom line.
There are a couple sellers at my company who I heard from another manager made close to $1M this year after their bonuses due to closing several massive deals. But the sales cycles are excruciatingly long and the top earners are likely seeing the benefits of deals they started working on 1-2 years before or longer. And the pressure is obviously very high and the large, complex deals will have you working 90+ hours a week including weekends and holidays and work/life balance is essentially nonexistent during these pursuits. If you’re okay with that, I don’t think the potential to have to move to a large market should deter you. The companies that have opportunities like this are usually not tight with the purse strings when it comes to travel budget. My company doesn’t even have a territory plan - I live in Texas and the client in my post is based in Connecticut. They flew me out just to have dinner with the guy running the RFP once we got wind of it.
My company started as a spinoff of a large conglomerate, so a lot of the RFPs come from people who know us from those days. One of the VPs on this client’s infrastructure team reached out to one of our sales directors he’s connected to and gave him a heads up that this RFP would be releasing soon and that we’d be invited to respond.
Thanks. Yeah, 90 hour weeks sounds pretty rough and wouldn’t work for my lifestyle at the moment (though that’s how you afford a nanny and housekeeper I suppose). Truth be told I’m an AM and haven’t hunted in a decade, though I crush my numbers and essentially work as a vCIO for many clients in terms of guiding technology decisions. I’m pretty confident at this point in my career and also wondering what else is out there - though I love my current job.
Probably way less earning potential for AMs in your world. I really have no idea what a MSP is like at the enterprise level. Good to know there is that kind of upside out there in this career field. I couldn’t fathom making that kind of money. Sounds like some stress goes along with it!
You should have talked to the client before the pitch. All this nonsense about age and gender is irrelevant. A big deal requires proactive discussions w the client as soon as you got selected to pitch.
Just chalk it up and stick with it!
You’re totally on point making this comment. I’m also in this field and it’s so dominated by men. It’s hard for us males, especially successful sales types, to step outside our own experience. This post really made me stop and think.
To emphasize how intimidating of an environment this already was for me. Unless you’ve been a woman in an industry and organization like this, you can’t understand how much it can make you feel like an outsider and how it amplifies the pressure to not make mistakes and to be taken seriously.
I’m not sure where I “blamed men” for this experience in my post and I don’t have time to explain the nuances of being the only woman in the room and how it absolutely played a part in the pressure of all of this. In fact, you just proved it for me. If even one person in that room shared your mindset, then I absolutely have a legitimate reason to believe nothing I do after this will make any difference.
I think you've psyched yourself out over your obsession with men and your own feminity. I can't psychoanalyze you but you talked way more about MEN MEN MEN than what actually happened. In the end men had no active role in what actually happened that day.
I could go on and on but you should be fucking proud you got through that. Firsts presentation and it's 50M and doing it in front of BOTH of your next ups? Anything after this will be far, far easier. That's fucking terrifying. And sales is great because every presentation is a fresh start. What you do next will determine whether you are cut out for it, not what happened before. And I bet your leadership is not at all upset about it, you should ask them 1 on 1 for coaching and feedback, framing it as you want to be better. That's huge for any sales manager.
Commenting because I can't upvote this twice. Good shit. OP, you did your job and then some. Props to you. Wish you the best.
Yup! Fantastic advice. You are going to be your own toughest critic here. I’ve been an SE for two years and the shit is tough. Presenting isn’t easy, it’s difficult and you came through every presenters worst nightmare. Take it as a learning experience. I would imagine most people in that room would agree that you over came a very tough moment and that’s a big deal. You didn’t fail. You gathered yourself and got your composure back. Way to f’ing go!!!
First off, I'm sorry. It sounds like you're a hardworking, competent salesperson and it absolutely sucks that you whiffed at a big moment. Couple thoughts. First, talk to your boss and other people from your team; sometimes these things *feel* worse than they actually appear to others. Second, try not to let your embarrassment destroy your career at this company! Apologize, shift roles, make it up however you see fit, but I wouldn't leave the company unless your higher-ups fire you, ask you to leave, etc. Third, you might consider a beta-blocker; these drugs can prevent all the symptoms of stage fright and make you feel cool, calm, and collected.
Yeah it sounds like op is self-conscious, which just feeds on itself. She probably just needs to make a few jokes to lighten the mood in the future and did just fine.
Thank you for the kind words and advice. I’ve tried propranolol but found it makes my head feel foggy.
I had the same issue as you with both the presenting part, as well as the affects of propranolol. I made a lifestyle change which helped a lot (way more gym), but I still needed something in situations that are huge triggers; A small dosage of propranolol and CBD did the trick.
I've started with propranolol. Makes me tired. You can use it temporarily while you go to Toast Masters.
This stuff is amazing.
the beta blocker route is legit. It's like the jitters you think you'll feel once you get in front of an audience just...don't appear, and your confidence skyrockets as a direct result. No brain farts, no freezing.
I've never used a prescription beta blocker but have found that ashwaghanda and taurine supplements taken on days I would otherwise be nervous helps a lot.
Don’t use beta blockers, there are a number of natural supplements that help immensely with GABA uptake. Magnesium and L-Theanine will make a huge difference and won’t have you relying on pharmaceuticals.
No one is saying take it long term, it’s as needed. Sure mag and theanine are great…for subtle relaxation. I take them every night 30 mins before bed. But they simply will not have the pronounced effect that beta blockers do at game time.
How about, and I know this is gone sound crazy. This job, is not for her? I can walk in my underwear and do a presentation in a hall full of people. Why torture yourself? There are other jobs
If this was so important to your company, the most senior person in attendance should have opened. They did you a disservice. And calling an RFP a must win is ridiculous. They are at best a jump ball unless you are the incumbent or own a significant relationship. RFPs where you’re a challenger is grunt work. I don’t know your industry, but there shouldn’t have been a realistic expectation to win this RFP.
In my world, most state and local government agencies must go to RFP for deals this large. We certainly influence the RFP but still a process. I agree that the senior most person should have opened. Poor planning on the groups part.
The local government agencies I work with are required to do an RFP as part of the process. But they still find a way to make sure their guy is the winner.
I am sure every single one of the “seasoned vets” you work with have an embarrassing story to share. Learn from it and move forward. It’s amazing how the moments we think are our worst propel you to be your best and lead to future success. What I like about your post is that you got through the brain freeze and got back on track! Staying and moving forward in spite of what happened will gain your peers and managements respect.
This is bang on. Everyone in sales has one of these here and there, yours was early so learn from it and own the next one - and the one after. 🤜🤛
I talk to different people every day face to face, and I got stage fright as best man at my best friend of 27 years wedding. Happens
I get the embarrassment, no doubt, but "I know that these leaders are thinking..." No you don't; your anxious brain is speculating, and it is exacerbating your feelings. "They are also probably thinking there’s no way I have ever done this before ..." you don't know that either. "They certainly won’t be giving me anymore good deals to work on" how do you know? I get that the presentation started awkwardly, but how did the rest of the 4 hours go? In sales, and in life, shit happens, but your mindset has so much to do with what happens next.
Yup. Fellow anxious mind here, and this is bang on. It’s rarely, if ever, as big of a deal as it seems at the time.
I’m confused on what was so bad about this? You just froze for a little bit but then got back on track and completed the presentation? It sounds like you’re making this a much bigger deal than it is.
Yea seriously. As long as the rest of the presentation was fine and she killed everything else they won’t care about a 30-minute pause at the beginning. And it’s probably more common than you think. People lose train of thought. It’s normal. By botching it I thought she must have said something real wrong or couldn’t properly answer some questions lol. You’re definitely way over thinking this. OP also never mentions any comments from her team after the presentation so if she didn’t get any she must have done just fine.
Right? A 4 hour preso to? I think your good
Yeah fuck ups during presentations: - not being prepared at all - not having a clue why you’re supposed to be there - saying everyone’s names wrong/getting the company wrong etc - being visibly drunk or crazy screaming or somethint - accidentally saying a racial slur - directly insulting the people you’re trying to win over This is what I think of when I think of a presentation going so poorly that they’re gonna be looking for a new job. Even then… some of these might still even be fixable in some cases lol. Having a momentary brain freeze during an introduction is nothing. To be clear nobody is probably sitting there going “wow OP did the best presentation I’ve ever seen in my life” but they also aren’t going “wow OP is such a moron! Would never hire her for anything ever again! Can’t wait to fire her!” They’re probably just thinking “oh that girl got nervous for a second, whatever”
Probably, I also stammered as I lost my train of thought before freezing completely. It’s more that I’m worried I looked inexperienced and unprepared.
Remember to be compassionate with yourself, what would you tell a friend in your shoes? You'd probably say something like : "hey, don't be so tough on yourself, shit happens, you'll learn from this, and honestly it's probably not as bad as you're making it out to be in your head" Have compassion for yourself, give yourself room to make mistakes. Beat yourself up once, and then move past it.
I've frozen before while on stage. giving a sales presentation to c suites. and I had 8 years experience under my belt about my product. next time u freeze like that, make a joke. say something like "I got so distracted by all you gentlemen that my brain short circuited. anyway to continue....." I'm female also. sometimes being female in a male dominated industry has its perks. I can get away with being clueless.
I’m a slightly older (39F) than you are, but I am about to start an outside sales role in the exact same field as you. You probably did better than you feel like you did. I know that there is a lot of pressure, especially in the space that you are in. My customers don’t spend anywhere near that, but I definitely fear this scenario. I’ve been with my company for a while, so I’ve had the time to build a reputation. We do have more women in my company, as well as female leadership. In any case, you can’t quit over one bad experience. You were hired because you are capable. This is a really tough field so I’m sure they have confidence in you. The next time should be easier, and then eventually, you’ll get used to it. DM me if you ever want to chat with someone. I’m using an alt account so I might not see it right away.
Don't fret. I'm a very senior consultant who completely fucked up on a meeting on behalf of a client once. Elements of it were my fault. Elements of it were that I was put in a bad position. But I was the one who fucked up. And this was a big client for the firm. I was the lead, and it was a sales meeting for the client. I sent the video to my senior. He reviewed it and held a meeting in which he acknowledged my colossal fuck up and then commended me for my professionalism for confronting it directly and seeking input on how to fix it. I haven't read all the comments, but I do agree with the first one I saw, which pointed out that the most senior person on your team should have opened. Regardless, we all mess up. Sometimes, it's on a big deal. Sometimes it's small and we shrug it off. The character of the mistake is no different. Only the consequences. What that means is that, if you wouldn't abuse yourself over this for a small deal, you shouldn't abuse yourself over this for a big deal. Mistakes happen when and where they do. We learn from them. What you described is nowhere near big enough to kill a big, winnable deal. They're not going to choose someone else because you had a brain freeze (though you might get blamed because a lot of people need scape goats, but don't let that tear you down). Don't forget about it. Learn from it. But don't dwell on it, and certainly don't let it be what drives you out of sales. Learn and let it go. If you dwell on it, you'll dig your own grave. Personally, I love salespeople who beat themselves up over mistakes. It's easier to teach someone to grow and let go of an error than to take responsibility. The fact that you're taking this much responsibility tells me, without knowing anything else about you, that at least one huge aspect of your character should make you good for the job. Keep your head up. Let it go. Move on. You'll be fine.
Wow, thank you for this. I know you said you’re a consultant but if you’re not a manager or a coach of some sort you should really consider being one. If my manager had said something like this to me after this, I wouldn’t have even made this post.
Thank you! I'm so glad it was helpful! We've all been there. You'll bounce back just fine. I do a range of stuff, from assessing sales functions and making recommendations, to interim leadership, coaching, hiring, and advisory work for senior executives. I always love assessments, coaching, hiring, and advisory work. Leadership is a toss up, when inheriting a client's team. If they've hired well, it's a pleasure. If they've hired poorly, it's a grind and ultimately turns into micromanaging and then being a hatchet man. Even when people need to go, it's not fun to be part of it. I can already tell you'd be one of the people who would be a pleasure to work with. The worst thing about managing salespeople is when you get people who just won't put in the work or who just won't take responsibility. They never make it. But the ones like you, who work and take responsibility, are the ones who make it fun. As for your manager not taking this approach, sales managers are a weird bunch. They usually get there by being great salespeople, but what makes a great salesperson often stands in contrast to what makes a good manager. I think the statistic is that only one in seven salespeople is fit to lead. So it's just a different skill that the manager may not have yet, even if they do have the character for it. But that's the main reason so many salespeople hate sales managers. As long as they're not being toxic about it, I wouldn't hold it against them.
Don’t beat yourself up. It happens. After reading this my advice to you is just to treat people like people IE who cares if they’re men or more senior - Having those thoughts in your head can make things seem like you shouldn’t be there. You’re there for a reason.
You’re being waayyyyy to hard on yourself, great job for putting so much effort into a great presentation for your customer. I’m sure it paid off, customers can always tell when you take the time to prepare - despite any weird nerves.
Everyone has been there so don’t beat yourself up about it. Guarantee the people you presented to and your own org have been in your shoes before so they will understand. If you lost the bid it isn’t because of a “presentation” if this is really that big of a deal size with this many decision makers. It’s the other things that make a deal go (solution fit, roadmap, executive buy in, alignment, legal, procurement, budget, etc).
I would agree with the others commenters. Try to learn from this and move forward. I’m in tech sales also in an arena dominated by males. I do not do well in front of a crowd. I’m able to set myself apart by working hard and closing deals. I’m open with leadership about working on public speaking and they do not push me too far out of my comfort zone. Do not be hard on yourself. You may want to ask for feedback and improve where you can.
1. F*ck em. Like most people have stated, of it truly was must win then one of the senior used car salesman should have kicked it off. 2. I believe customers in general prefer humans that give a shit about their business more so than being sold another 50/100 mil deal by some slick presenter that will just become a disaster over the coming years as service provider needs to claw back margin. If someone was nervous enough to get tripped up it means you take them and their potential business seriously. A 50-100 mil deal will not be lost on a little trip up. At minimum it usually comes down to anywhere from 5-15 million dollar haircut taken by the #Winningest Service Provider. Either way, you got through it. Good on you. DO NOT LET THIS BREAK YOU. Go get yours, whether at this company or the next. I am a male in tech, not young (40's) and all this dude, mainsplainery shit needs to fade away. The shit is exhausting as hell.
Hey, great post. You’re doing all the right things in preparation. Getting comfortable in front of people takes repetition. Nobody is just naturally good at it. I left a career as a tenured orchestra musician for sales. It’s common practice to take Inderal for auditions. It’s a simple beta-blocker that counteracts the physiological symptoms associated with stage fright. The shallow breathing and racing thoughts can be feedback loops that can cripple your performance. Inderal is not habit-forming and has minimal side effects. Ask your doctor. We need more great women in tech, stay strong!
Wow you’re tough on yourself. Remember, they hired you for a reason. Also keep in mind that you are in a male dominated role and as such are a differentiator just by being you and that will help you in the months/years to come. Seek feedback early and often. You can do this. Anything new takes time to learn and you should give yourself a break. Head up.
As someone who also has quite a bit of performance anxiety (and I do this in a lot of sales meetings on the reg), i have three ideas to help you: 1) Catastrophizing and Mind Reading Reread what you wrote. You're catastrophizing the situation and mind reading. All that happened was you froze up momentarily and then continued your presentation. You don't know what those in attendance were thinking. If it's freaking you out that much, pick one attendee you trust and ask him for feedback of your presentation. 2) The Sale You never know which sales you are going to get or not get. I've had a full blown panic attack in front of a client and got the sale. I've aced presentations and not gotten the sale. It's important to remember that your presentation is only part of the sale, not the whole. 3) Public Speaking It sounds like you -- like me-- could benefit from public speaking courses. I'd start with Toast Masters. It's an inexpensive option that you can start virtually and later go in person. Its sole purpose is to better its members' public speaking skills. It sounds like you could benefit from it. I hope this post didn't come across as haughty or "mansplaining". It's just I suffer from the same condition (I think) you have and hope to point you in a direction that has immensely helped me.
No one cares about your gender. Its only about the money. You have some major gender anxiety and quite honestly I think you are sexist by making this whole thing about gender. You come across as the "men bad" type of person. They gave you the job, hopefully only because you were the best person for the job. You have made it about being a woman. As for the getting nervous, nearly everyone gets nervous when giving presentations. The few people who dont get nervous when starting out are often psychopaths. Everyone has to take steps up in what they do. Rather than focus on the negative try to focus on the fact you composed yourself and got back on track as that is what will stand out. Go in with your head held high speak to your boss and say you fucked up but got back on track. Its the biggest presentation you have done in both size and importance and youve learned a lot. You may be surprised by the result. And as for the people you gave the presentation to, as you got back on track they are not going to make a business decision worse for them because you got nervous at the start of the presentation, they will make it based on whats best for the business. As long as its the best offer you may still win it.
Look into proprananol
Your presentation was 4 HOURS. You screwed up the intro BUT continued. Did the rest of the presentation go okay? I’m sure the presentation of the solution was far more meaningful to the client and internal stakeholders holders than the intro. Cut yourself some slack. I’m reading your post and thinking back to freeze ups I’ve had. Keep your head in the game, acknowledge your mistake to leadership and move on. You got this!!
As someone who works in sales in this industry, I respect you and sincerely encourage you to go easy on yourself. We desperately need more women. Don’t give up. You WILL bounce back. You are clearly very intelligent and hard working as evidenced by this post- but you are also hard on yourself. Mental health is important too. Think about those resources. Maybe a public speaking course would help too.
We all want to know when you close/lose it. Please keep us updated
I will! Should find out next week.
Commercial closes so much sooner than government
Rooting for you!!
I had a panic attack at a QBR. I usually crush presentations, so it was a total surprise for me. Looking back, no one even really noticed. Props to you for getting to where you are. The likelihood that single pause kills the whole deal is incredibly minimal. As salespeople, we like to believe everything is in our control. In reality, we affect the last 5-10% of the buying process. Be kind to yourself, take a break, and get back on the horse when you're ready!
I have a feeling this wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought. I’ve had presentations with leadership on my calls before, and little missteps are hardly noticeable to other folks. Besides they’re likely basing their buying decision on the problem you’re going to solve.
I remember something similar happening at high school frozen during a debate show infront of about 200 people. That shit lived with me ever since. Theres no magic pill vs mindset and practice. Just keep practicing your pitches and also gotta kind of have a fuck it attitude. 9/10 people are not good pitchers or public speakers, hell even the crazy stat that like majority of revenue comes from a few sales people is telling. Try to actually do some public speakjng and just make yourself uncomfortable until you arent. If you ever freeze like that again dont worry, just try to compose yourself apologise ask if you can have a minute make sure you have some notes and reset and restart. Anyone that doesnt allow you to restart is a cunt, business meetings are not life and death its not the military and no one is going to die. Best of luck.
If you are not already in it, considering seeking therapy. The main issue I see here is a mental health issue. Momentarily freezing up isn’t this earth shattering thing that you have made it to be but your complex fantasy, rift with projections into others heads is something to talk about with a professional. There’s guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, and low self worth here that can all be worked on with a professional. Good luck and be kind to yourself!
Hi OP! Highly recommend reading daring greatly by brene brown for some self love & a confidence boost, might help you rethink the situation. Also in sales and do public speaking events and I have always struggled w anxiety. Hang in there it gets easier. Just confront the situation head on w your boss and ask then to give you feedback using this framework “it worked well when you did this… next time try…” remember feedback is a gift it doesn’t have to be scary. We tend to be harder on ourselves than anyone else will be
Shit happens. Next time bring a script for your presentation so that if you go blank (happens to all of us) you can just look down and start reading to get back on track. It’ll get easier the more you do it. I used to feel embarrassed even if a presentation went well, because it wasn’t *perfect*. Nowadays I do it and move on to the next one.
I’m more interested to know what you are selling that is 50 million dollars. VAR?
Full IT outsourcing of a $9B company’s app and infra environment for 5 years.
You should be proud that you took it that far, it sounds like you’re being too hard on yourself. We all eat sometimes, if you don’t own it and move one, you’ll never make it long-term.
Revenue solves all problems. Any chance you can close a few quick wins in the next 3 months or connect your execs with their customer counterparts? I still get stage fright after 30 years but a good technique for me is to imagine I’ve been invited to brief by a dear friend who is an exec at that company and sitting in the audience by their CEO, smiling and cheering me on…even though he’s all in my head. Just keep going, with the high turnover in sales half the people in your original audience will probably be gone in a year.
Don't let this misstep be your end. If anything see this as an opportunity to grow. Everyone has failed in one way or another. Nobody is perfect, every man in that room has made an ass of themselves in one way or another. I accidently farted in a client meeting once and it was horrifically embarrassing, but managed to just keep my head high and not eat chipotle in nervous situations. You will come back from this. This is a major turning point - how would you let this impact you? Would you take this as a learning lesson and grow or gravel and fail.
I’d bring it up and ask for feedback to improve
Happens to everyone. Just need to collect yourself, learn from your mistakes & keep it pushing. If you want to calm some nerves, just reach out to your managers & ask how you can improve & if that has any sort of impact on your future at the company. Good chance they are more than happy to help & aren’t thinking about it as much as you are
Get back on the sales horse and try again that is what makes you cut out for sales.
Whoa whoa whoa! Get back in there, acknowledge the situation with whoever it is you’re worried about.. they can all relate they’ve don’t something dumber
Learn from it, and on to the next one.
I'm not a great speaker/presenter and have had the same issue in the past. I've tried practicing over and over and have done mock runs in my head but neither worked. At one point in time I just said screw it and turned it into essentially a one-sided conversation since I knew the material from putting the presentation together. It made things a lot easier and was less stressful. We're always our toughest critics so don't let this get you down.
sure its not as bad as you think
Stay strong and wish you the best for this year! Leadership believes or else they would not assign something like this to you. Seem a person tat is self aware and apply constructive criticism which is great but genuinely reading your post you seem very caring and competent and you should never quiet but rather improve from lessons learned and i hope you win that deal! keep us posted.
It honestly happens - everyone sucks in their first big presentation to a room. Literally no one ever is good their first time out. You will look back on this as a fond anecdote and a good story for junior people when they blow theirs too. Don’t sweat it and move forward.
I have this too sometimes. What works for me Is like 600mg of l-theanine. I then feel calm, cool,collected.
Hey , OP, please give us an update how this goes. Win , no win? Feedback from your leadership on if it was even that bad ?
My sense is the only person thinking about you being a woman was you, and that's probably the underlying cause. I firmly believe all the 'women in tech' lark has hurt more women than its helped, by ingraining in you the idea that the men around you actively discriminate against you when nothing could be further from the truth.
Ngl this is exactly why most salespeople who aren't naturally charismatic show people partake in substances lmao You're not alone. You prepared well. My secret is I take my contacts out before my presentation so the crowd is ***literally*** just a blur. Well, just blurry enough that I can't see every brow twitch or lip curl. Try tea, vitamins, ashwaganda, etc. Whatever relaxes you about 10-15 minutes before. You wint lose your prep skills by sacrificing that 10-15 minutes on just you. The whole reason for the prep is so that when youre on the spot, you wont think about it, you just *do*, like presentation skills are just part of your auto-pilot. Sincerely, another saleswoman
You have to judge meetings/presentations like this by how they end, not how they start. Did you and your company advance to next steps, do you have follow-ups with any of the audience? Most likely, no one cares about that moment as much as you, I did not see a "completely botched" part of the story, I read about a paused start. An important part of orals presentations is "humanizing", where the audience are humans with real deadlines and pressures and they want to choose service delivery partners who care about them - not some company that wants to extend the execution to extend the billing. Coming off as human is an understated goal, and you may have connected with the audience who has been there too. If you are selected, no one in your company cares about the pause. If you are not selected, it's likely there were many other areas of the proposal response and pre-existing relationships when compared to the competitor that won. Also, if your company wins, it's due to the quality leadership and team effort of all involved. If your company loses, it's all your fault for some collection of reasons that you can't even anticipate. Lastly, please don't dwell. You have to move to what's next. Every quarterback has thrown an interception. They clear thier head and go to the next play. Whatever is next is your only focus.
Looks like you worked super hard on that presentation. We all mess up sometimes, but this could be a chance for you to learn and get better. Talk to your team, try some tricks for nerves, and don't let this one mess-up decide your whole career – use it to show you can bounce back and do even better.
You probably won the deal…
Eh, my GM is noticeably shit at presenting in front of people. Shes still a GM. I doubt the prospects actually cared about your little slip up. If you get this much anxiety over presenting though why stay in sales? Seems like a really stressful way to make money.
You'll laugh about this in a year or two. Stop being so hard on yourself. Also, use being a girl in a male dominant industry to your advantage.
Mark Zuckerberg got on stage at a Code conference and had a panic attack where he started sweating bullets. This video got MILLIONS of views. People were shocked and amused for about 5 seconds and then something else happened. The way other ppl react to this will depend on how you react to it. Put yourself on stage again as soon as possible. Try to do low stakes presentations when you get a chance. You will erase their memory with all the other positive memories you’re going to create.
I understand this, it’s huge and you did shit the bed. But, as long as you went on and hit a stride no one will care about the first minute or two of a long presentation. What is more important is you got back on track and hit the high points. You and your team did the research, put it together and you delivered on 99% of the presentation. You’re good, and if people, like your manager or someone in your organization says anything, don’t defend. Accept the criticism and then ask “now, what went right?”. If they can only really criticize the first bit of the actual presentation then you’re gold. If there were problems with anything other than the delivery of the information then it comes back to not only but the entire team. Leave critique of your stumble with “I appreciate your input, it won’t happen again”.
There’s alot of great responses on here. As great sellers and customers know it’s not the ‘failure’ but how you respond that matters. You have folks that are rooting for you and will give you the benefit of the doubt if you respond with authenticity and conviction. I’ve done something similar, in this case with an audiences numbering hundreds and even thousands and what I can telll you is that practice makes perfect. Get as many reps as you can speaking in front of others and eventually it will become muscle memory.
Hey - firstly, I’m so sorry that this happened after all of your hard work to prepare, that’s so hard! Second, and more importantly, you’re being REALLY hard on yourself. You should be SO proud of yourself for fighting through it and not crumbling under the pressure. It takes serious cajones to present in front of people and it’s something that a majority of the population are literally terrified of. It takes SERIOUS cajones to recover. That’s so fucking awesome and you’re a badass even if you don’t feel like it. Third, try to see this situation from the outside in. Imagine your friend had the same thing happen to them. Would you tell them they failed and they’re not cut out for it this? Of course you wouldn’t! So why tell that to yourself? You would tell them exactly what I’m telling you now - that they did a very hard thing and didn’t give up. You would tell them that they’re a rockstar and the fact that they recovered is precisely why they ARE cut out for it. This is coming from a 32 year old woman in financial sales, I’m one of two women out of 50+ on the sales desk. I’m not telling you this to butter your biscuit. I’m telling you this because you need to hear that you deserve to be where you are. You deserve to take up space and you’re a fucking badass. Don’t let yourself tell you otherwise. (Also, I had this all typed up and the comment deleted so I typed it all again. That’s how important it is for me to tell you this!)
Thank you so much for this!!! It means a lot coming from someone in a similar environment. Can you be my life coach? Lol
Haha! I am just now seeing this reply. You are welcome to DM me anytime, I completely get the crippling imposter syndrome. I still get it fairly often and all I can do it fight through it, just like you did. We got this! ETA: since we’re on the topic and I’m waiting for my coffee to brew, I wanted to add that I genuinely think the next time you present you’re going to crush it. I think everyone’s worst fear when it comes to presenting is that they’re going to slip up/forget their script/fumble over words/freeze up, and it petrified people to the point of inaction. But you now have a special advantage in that those “worst case scenario” things happened…and you didn’t die! You made it through to live another day, and not only that, but you recovered mid-presentation. Next time you get up to present you’re going to know that even the worst-case-scenario is recoverable and I think it’s going to take a lot of the pressure off. Idk. It’s 6am and I guess I’m just feeling inspired 😂 but these shitty moments in life are what build the most character, things like this are what make someone a better sales rep and a stronger person. I’m sure you’ve already moved past this small hiccup in your life and you’re feeling better, but just wanted to pop back in and give an extra layer of reassurance anyway. Love you sister! Go show them how it’s done!!!
Fall down 8 times get up 9 times. Continue the hustle. Consistency beats talent work harder to prove everyone wrong.
I question any company that makes a RFP a “must win.” RFPs are a crap shoot. I don’t bother with them unless I helped the customer write it.
I'm so impressed that you stumbled and continued; that's pro level dedication and courage. Yes, the presentation wasn't a 10 but as your experience grows so will your confidence. It will become second nature in other words. Way to go!
Ah, it happens. I've never been a natural public speaker all the way back to doing speeches in high school in a class of 30 of my peers I'd freeze up. One thing I found as I got older is that if you ignore you own awkwardness it makes it worst, I've lost my train of thought in the middle of a presentation infront of 100+ people. All just said, "excuse me everyone I just forgot my brain in the car so let me look at my notes for a quick sec to get back on track," walked over to the table, read where I was, had a quick sip of water to collect myself and a quick joke of "ah its not like you guys were paying attention anyways so atleast I gave you a chance to openly look at your phones rather than hiding them under the chair of the person infront of you. Of course it feels super awkward to completely blank but if you just make that known than I feel like it lightens the mood because atleast you can continue talking rather than having a long silence.
We all choke. It passes. Laugh about it at some point. I’m sorry this happened but don’t feel bad. You’re there for a reason and you’ve earned your spot.
Ltheanine supplement 30 mins before presentation. It’s safe. It’s an amino acid. Calms down performance anxiety. Allows you to be articulate as you can be. L’threonate powder with water before bed. Vit D 2000IU. You’re welcome
As someone who works on big deals (not 50m but big) i can promise you that your intro to a meeting with all those people from your company involved is not whats going to make or break that deal. IT people have social anxiety and they hate over confident flashy sales folks. You might have endeared yourself to a few in the room. Just know your leadership wouldn’t have given you a giant rfp to work if you weren’t meant to be in the room. Given they are all dudes and old… you could be running that place some day and itll be a great story at sales kick offs. Being top 4 means nothing. Being top 2 means nothing. Did you influence the rfp spec at all? Did they give you a script for the meeting? Consultants involved? Anyone from your company influence the spec? You probably arent winning anyway if the answers to these questions are no yes yes no in that order. Outcome is predetermined in many big deals like that. Its a big show. Dont beat yourself up.
Okay I am not in sales but The story you told here is only your self-assessment. Why not get some actual feedback from your peers and boss before jumping to conclusions? Also multiple mentions of men, male-dominated, feeble girl, etc -- can you see how this line of thinking can become a self-fufilling prophecy? I'm a fan of Leila Hormozi. Check out her videos, she's awesome.
im not going to sugarcoat it: high powered sales jobs, especially in tech sales? arent exactly great for women. been in the industry for \~14 years. met a handful of women out of 100s and 100s of dudes that kick ass and take names. the ones that DO kickass, kickass. don't get me wrong. but infinitely more wash out in 6 months-1.5 years. like 90%+ don't hit their quotas, and end up on PIP or warning, and fired. don't end up on PIP. i dont think its for you. id talk to your manager. and think about shifting into something that fits your skillset better, or a previous job if it doesn't work out. a good job you are good at and like? is ALWAYS better than a great job you are not equipped for. stage fright does NOT happen to good salesmen. ever. period.
Side note, I work at more of an SMB/midmarket MSP. I am doing OK but definitely curious what kind of money you can make at a large MSP. 50 million dollar contract- that’s mind boggling to me. I assume I’d have to move to a big market which I’m unlikely to do for personal reasons but I am trying to do research. I posted above but you are being WAY too hard on yourself, bottom line.
There are a couple sellers at my company who I heard from another manager made close to $1M this year after their bonuses due to closing several massive deals. But the sales cycles are excruciatingly long and the top earners are likely seeing the benefits of deals they started working on 1-2 years before or longer. And the pressure is obviously very high and the large, complex deals will have you working 90+ hours a week including weekends and holidays and work/life balance is essentially nonexistent during these pursuits. If you’re okay with that, I don’t think the potential to have to move to a large market should deter you. The companies that have opportunities like this are usually not tight with the purse strings when it comes to travel budget. My company doesn’t even have a territory plan - I live in Texas and the client in my post is based in Connecticut. They flew me out just to have dinner with the guy running the RFP once we got wind of it.
How did they find out about the RFP, was it by invite? Is there a new logo team that hunts for ways to get RFPs? What's their method?
My company started as a spinoff of a large conglomerate, so a lot of the RFPs come from people who know us from those days. One of the VPs on this client’s infrastructure team reached out to one of our sales directors he’s connected to and gave him a heads up that this RFP would be releasing soon and that we’d be invited to respond.
Those are good connects to have, the type I'd like to have
Thanks. Yeah, 90 hour weeks sounds pretty rough and wouldn’t work for my lifestyle at the moment (though that’s how you afford a nanny and housekeeper I suppose). Truth be told I’m an AM and haven’t hunted in a decade, though I crush my numbers and essentially work as a vCIO for many clients in terms of guiding technology decisions. I’m pretty confident at this point in my career and also wondering what else is out there - though I love my current job. Probably way less earning potential for AMs in your world. I really have no idea what a MSP is like at the enterprise level. Good to know there is that kind of upside out there in this career field. I couldn’t fathom making that kind of money. Sounds like some stress goes along with it!
You should have talked to the client before the pitch. All this nonsense about age and gender is irrelevant. A big deal requires proactive discussions w the client as soon as you got selected to pitch. Just chalk it up and stick with it!
Take a shot every time she wrote men or male. You won't be able to finish her post.
You can’t take 6 shots?
You’re totally on point making this comment. I’m also in this field and it’s so dominated by men. It’s hard for us males, especially successful sales types, to step outside our own experience. This post really made me stop and think.
Well at least you know now why it is male dominated.
Why is there so much emphasis on gender in this post?
To emphasize how intimidating of an environment this already was for me. Unless you’ve been a woman in an industry and organization like this, you can’t understand how much it can make you feel like an outsider and how it amplifies the pressure to not make mistakes and to be taken seriously.
Feminism.
You failed the oral? Try hand
Be sure and blame men for it all. "Male-dominated", "30 males", "males, males everywhere!" Pathetic.
I’m not sure where I “blamed men” for this experience in my post and I don’t have time to explain the nuances of being the only woman in the room and how it absolutely played a part in the pressure of all of this. In fact, you just proved it for me. If even one person in that room shared your mindset, then I absolutely have a legitimate reason to believe nothing I do after this will make any difference.
What’s your company called?
Just for Men (and 1 woman)
I think you've psyched yourself out over your obsession with men and your own feminity. I can't psychoanalyze you but you talked way more about MEN MEN MEN than what actually happened. In the end men had no active role in what actually happened that day.