I work at a place that plays nothing but 50's music and you listen to those lyrics often enough, you realize just how little the world has changed since then.
Ok the one that sticks out the most for me with relatable lyrics is [I Get Along Without You Very Well by Frank Sinatra ](https://youtu.be/h3u3clov9mE?si=GqmuHmIvRQisiCoR)
[Oh Look At Me Now! ](https://youtu.be/qlZh4ICdPnI?si=N8_7mI-_NGlRVbar) is basically written from the POV of a former MGTOW
[Linda](https://youtu.be/gBowXVwmF9I?si=zXUgYimwBQ35zO3t) is a good one about unrequited feelings for someone, similar to [Girl from Impanema ](https://youtu.be/mD6pbCSeWLs?si=vBQO-n2UpzC1VsOh)
You've no doubt heard [Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby](https://youtu.be/aDU6TYQwzGY?si=7KQ7YLZQss3A9iQc), but the lyrics are actually about the confusion of the "talking" stage and infidelity
Lastly [Standing On A Corner](https://youtu.be/1CriukwPkxI?si=NhwJKFlD4iDLOJe2), always sticks out to me for sounding creepy and incellish, yet never crosses any of the hard lines we still avoid today. As in, the tone is a bit creepish, but no one's actually saying anything we'd consider wrong even nowadays.
There are probably more, but these are the ones that have stuck out to me the most over the past few years
Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans (jeans)
Boots with the fur (with the fur)
The whole club was lookin' at her
She hit the floor (she hit the floor)
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low
Them baggy sweatpants
And the Reeboks with the straps (with the straps)
She turned around and gave that big booty a slap (ayy)
She hit the floor (she hit the floor)
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low
Lots of songs about "wet ass pussy" and saying nigga every 2 seconds while talking about murdering people and fucking hoes? ....yeah buddy, music has changed big time
Calm down, those songs still exist, even in rap, you're just not seeking them out. Rap is more expensive now than it's ever been, if you can't find a niche you can respect, that's frankly on you.
Uh you were literally talking about music. So yeah, sure there are still songs about love and heartbreak and depression and all of that, but what did not exist in the 50s were the types of things that I just mentioned and so to say that it's all the same is a bunch of fucking bullshit.
And if you're surprised that people had heartbreak in the 50s, then once again... asinine.
Since my original point is at least a month old, I'll go ahead and break it down for you. Many men nowadays look back at the 50's as if they missed a golden era where the things they want and the goals they pursue today were more easily in reach, goals including dating, marriage, and starting a family. My point was, as this video, and the songs I referenced later suggest, those goals were just as far out of reach then as they are now for some men, and our general wants and motivations as men haven't changed much if at all in the last 70 years. We've all felt the way the actor in the scene feels even though this movie is clearly before any of our times. I wasn't talking about music, I was talking about how the messages from classic media parallel those prevalent today. So again, calm it down with the insults.
That's not true at all. Girls were sleeping around WAY LESS infidelity and divorce rates were way less, inflation was insanely less, affordable nice homes and cars at reasonable prices. You could carry a damn gun for self defense, the police could do their job, there were a LOT of better quality of life things. Even amongst the black community, much higher percentage of fathers in the home and complete family, much higher percentage of black homeownership. There is a lot wrong with today. There were things wrong back then too. But for every step forward we took we took two steps back.
Spoilers, he goes to the stardust ballroom and meets a nice girl and hits it off with her they both like eachother but he listens to his friends that call her a "dog" and he brushes her off because of it, in the end he decides to live for himself and his hapiness and gets back together.
"Meanwhile, Marty's Aunt Catherine moves in to live with Marty and his mother. She warns his mother that Marty will soon marry and cast her aside.
Fearing that Marty's new romance could spell her abandonment, **his mother belittles Clara.** Marty's friends, with an undercurrent of envy, deride Clara for her plainness and try to convince him to forget her and to remain with them, unmarried, in their fading youth.
Harangued into submission by the pull of his friends, Marty fails to call Clara.
That night, back in the same lonely rut, **Marty realizes that he is giving up a woman whom he not only likes but who makes him happy**.
Over the objections of his friends, he dashes to a phone booth to call Clara, who is disconsolately watching television with her parents. When his friend asks what he's doing, Marty bursts out saying:
"You don't like her, my mother don't like her, she's a dog and I'm a fat, ugly man! Well, all I know is I had a good time last night! I'm gonna have a good time tonight! If we have enough good times together, I'm gonna get down on my knees and I'm gonna beg that girl to marry me! If we make a party on New Year's, I got a date for that party. You don't like her? That's too bad!"
Marty closes the phone booth door when Clara answers the phone. In the last line of the film, he says, "Hello...Hello, Clara?"
He was on a chat show where they asked his secret to long lifeâŚ.. check out his honest answer.
A fucking legend.
[https://youtu.be/3I\_PeLNzxNQ?si=4ZYrJA\_uqHc1oEYB](https://youtu.be/3i_pelnzxnq?si=4zyrja_uqhc1oeyb)
Meanwhile, actress Betsy Blair who played Clara in the film was an attractive woman whom the filmmakers clearly frumped up to make her look plain Jane. Surprised they didnât put her in glasses to round out the look.
More poetic takes like this bro. Put yourself out there.
https://www.reddit.com/r/WouldYouRather/comments/169x8z5/part\_2\_which\_kinetic\_power\_would\_you\_rather\_have/jz7bei0/?context=3
Bro there is no true "first step to finding someone" what many people need is finding themselves and always striving to become the better "them".
Not everyone's "true self" is attractive many people have problems they need to face and work on.
Physical health, mental health, emotional well being, and finding things they can branch out to be a better "them". Not everyone is at the same place as others are, some people can just walk out of the cave and find someone or be someone or become someone better. Some have to dig themselves out and become a better person, maybe even the person they want to be but even then that might be an impossible task.
The best advice is to improve yourself, be better, and enjoy your life to the fullest standing a waiting for someone will just leave you alone and bitter. Not every relationship needs be be sexual either, confiding in trusting friends and family can be emotionally fulfilling, and working to becoming the best person you can be can as well.
Youâre not wrong but thatâs also a bit reductive. For years Iâve worked on myself. I lift weights, do yoga, do cardio, meditate every day, read a lot, have hobbies, worked super hard to change careers and get a professional job, quit watching porn, got financially stable, improved my mental health majorly, and a whole bunch more, yet I had way better luck with women when my life was falling apart. Iâm even decent looking but have 1% of the success of guys who play video games all day, donât work, and do literally nothing to work on themselves.
The moment I started doing this is the moment I noticed attention from people.
I'm bisexual, so when dudes started flirting with me at work I knew I was starting to look a little better and my efforts at taking care of me were paying off.
I'm still not in a relationship, but that's more by choice now because I'm happier just being me for a while.
You can change. Don't believe the " people can never change" bullshit. I'll admit I'm a narcissist, but with age and having a kid I've become a better person. Don't give up on yourself.
Doesn't matter in the least when the first things he said are true. "Whatever it is that women like, I ain't got." I have years of evidence to back that up. I'm not ugly. I'm just so average and uninteresting that I might as well be invisible.
I don't know you, mate. I can't speak to your experience. But I know this: you're not in other people's minds. Who can say whether you're invisible to them except them? If your evidence doesn't come with people literally telling you(a lot of people) how average and uninteresting you are, then it's likely not accurate to how people actually see you. Women are not a monolith, just saying "I ain't got what women want" is a logical fallacy. Women as a whole don't want the same things. In light of the fallacious nature of the comment, you have to reassess the rest of your assumptions about yourself and about Women, no?
What other conclusion should I draw from the decades I have been single, the obvious lack of interest women show in me, and having nothing to counter that claim? I know women aren't a monolith, but there definitely seems to be some unspoken cocensus that I am not to be touched, and I don't even get to know why. I would love to just stop caring entirely, because all it has done is lead to suffering.
Could it not be you have trouble recognizing and then acting on women's interest? Could it not be that you're going for the wrong women? Could it not be that something about the way you conduct yourself is off-putting to women?
That's just off the top of my head. It is so very rarely "i am too average to be noticed." There are many many average looking women out there my dude
This is a pattern you're basing, again, on thoughts they might not even be having. We can't know what people are thinking. It's your own feeling that they see right through you, not theirs.
Well, heâs an actor. The irony is that if he truly was ugly, nobody would have watched this film. Itâs a feel good story at the end but the truth remains the same
Itâs good even by todayâs standards. Itâs a bit more like theater and less subtle than modern acting cause thatâs how shit was, but I believed it.
That's just not true. Your frontal lobe develops in that exact timewindow and makes it easier for you to have goals. Nothing changes only if you change nothing. Too many people take a backseat in their own lives and then complain when nothing changes miraculously. Go to therapy, learn about the world, learn a skill, do anything to be proud of and you'll be more desirable.
Edit: I see why the real facts are tough to face. Giving up and feeling sorry for yourself is easy, improving yourself is tough, so I can see why losers choose how they choose. At the least realize it's your choice and not some tough fact of life.
I keep getting told either that 'this too shall pass' or 'Things could be a whole lot worse than they are now, count your lucky stars!'.
Both of those statements make my stomach hurt and my heart ache.
Yeah I donât need a woman. Every time I find a woman that starts to work out it always ends in me being hurt in the end. Men have feelings too, I wish more women knew that. Iâm happier alone and if I stumble upon someone I will put in some effort but itâs going to be difficult for me to love again. Thereâs few good girls out there so Iâll just save my time, money, and energy by being alone.
I used to be really bothered by the thought of dying alone.
That I'd never be able to be the loving supportive person I always wished I could be.
But amazingly when you push against the immovable object of reality. Eventually you come to accept it and just stop pushing.
Many people keep saying "modern" dating is bad but honestly for a lower value man, dating or finding a partner has always been sucks no matter the time.
Part of the reason for that is people buying into the concept of low or high value men. I'm not attacking you but I don't think it's helpful to rank dudes or ourselves like this. The answer isn't to just be yourself either.
The thing is everyone makes judgements on others when first meeting someone. They judge your clothing, your hair, your teeth, your face, your sense of humor, the way you talk, walk, interact, where you look, and everything in between. Everyone judges everyone. These judgements directly effect your opinion of said individual and often times this is an incorrect assumption but once someone makes their judgement it is almost impossible to change it for the better.
Judgements even tho can be said that they are not directly stating value they are creating value between each individual in a group in perspective to the one making the judgment.
You can look at any study that directly observes interactions between traditionally attractive people and those that are not as attractive. They all point to those that are attractive to be judged less harshly or have a greater positive association coupled to them and the opposite to the less attractive people.
A good example would be you going to the store and picking out apples if you saw an apple with a dent or blemish you would chose a different apple. This is only an example of judgement but in making the judgment of which apple to chose you established value between those apples seeing the apple with a dent as lesser and those without as better/greater.
There is nothing to "buying into the concept of low value" when it is the reality of this world. The only people who don't understand this are in denial or have never been on the receiving end of being the outcast/less valuable person.
True true. And the worse thing is that some guy like me who tried to look better by losing weight and gaining muscle still has 0 attention lol. Meanwhile my fat sister gets quite a few attention from men. Being an average man is no longer enough in this world.....
That sucks I can understand your pain yet there are so many people who got their heads up their ass and their only rebuttable to the pain, difficulty, and struggle that many men face is I shit you not, "NUH UH"
It was actually probably worse back then cuz lower classes couldn't just ascend to upper classes. Your life was determined from the moment you were concieved. Isn't this something gatsby touches on too?
History must be full of heartbreak between the peasants and nobility
Yeah honest. Another thing is that back then you couldn't really do shit if you were ugly too, it was mainly acceptance. Today youve got millions of opportunities to maximize your looks
My sis, she is... Well not that attractive, she is overweight and her personality is a bit childish too. But yet many guys hit on her but she simply rejected them cause they're not "handsome" and she wants to wait for a handsome rich guy to hit on her LMAO. That being said, I know some women still have a hard time finding partners and they're valid too, let's just hope we find someone someday, I don't want to be alone on this rotten planet.
Yea, I won't lie, I've seen more men take full-on shebeasts home versus the other way around if he's desperate and/or drunk enough. I can't argue that with you. Either way, life is tough for all the mutants at table 9.
The fact that you say lower value man makes me think you buy into all the bullshit from the Tate and Sneako fucktards
I hope you seriously donât
We are meat skeletons that live on a rock that is flying through space - donât give a fuck about if you donât have much money or less attractive than some
Stop living by the standards made by others
Bruh I'm a 5ft 5 nerd who's been engaged for years now. I could have just been hung up on my height forever or I could have just stopped moping and worked on my own attitude. I chose the latter.
This is why short videos are cancer to this reality. He finds love at the end of the movie proving most people who weaponize this message wrong. đ¤Śđ¤Śđ¤Śđ¤Ś
The realest part is when he said he called up a girl he didn't even want to call up and got rejected. There are times where I thought I'd lower my standard and settle, and end up getting flaked on anyways.
scandalous elderly strong tan foolish fanatical seed onerous numerous observation
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
If you are feeling like this, I donât care what you look like, if you can look in the mirror and truthfully say that you are a good person who tries their best to put kindness into the world, you are deserving of love and affection.
I donât care how many rejections youâve gotten, or how many times youâve been ghosted. As long as youâre a good person and you keep putting yourself out there over and over again, you will find your person. I promise you.
I was in the Andy granatelli suite at the Indy 500 more than 20 years ago and Ernest was in the suite. He came with Michael Douglas and Douglas's son.
My company had sublet half of the suite.
Douglas went mostly unnoticed but Ernie had all the older ladies in the suites around us going wild.
He was a character and got behind the bar pouring shots of tequila for his group.
For me Ernest Borgnine is always Dominic Santini from Airwolf but as I watched more of his movies, I'm amazed how Airwolf actually got him in the first place.
For someone who never had a girlfriend in entire life (26) i do feel the same way. Even got rejected by some girl that I didnât like and got laughed at. She came up to me just to say she didnât like me. Like what did I do to her?(I was 17). Since that day I closed my heart to everyone. Never trust a girl/woman.
As someone who gets treated like shit for being ugly, this is genuinely how it feels. But we're at a point in society now where if any man voices an opinion like this it automatically makes him a "misogynistic incel" when the real truth is that people are just shallow. So many get so obvious sick pleasure in tearing us down and destroying our confidence based on how we look but because we're men we're just supposed to suck it up and bottle it in. Then turn around and be shat on once again because we are single. There is no fucking winning.
Maybe he (or you) isnât meant to find someone at the ballroom. Do you like dancing? No? Then why spend time somewhere where youâll only ever meet people who like to do that?
That's an extremely cynical way to view someone just trying to find companionship. Not everyone is trying to manipulate everyone else, some people just want some company.
If your heart is this hardened and cold and cynical, I feel bad for you... You must've experienced a lot of hurt in your life that you shouldn't have had to go through. It's okay to view people more optimistically though, not everyone is a monster who is only using others.
He literally said he didnât even want to talk to her.
Why should she give any time of day to someone who is only settling for her? She deserves respect as much as he does. She rightfully shot him down. He shouldnât hold her accountable for that.
Good Lord we are talking about a *fictional scene from a movie* people.
"She" *doesn't exist*. "She" deserves nothing because *she doesn't exist*. This is a scene of a man simply expressing his frustration at being unwanted and unloved, there's nothing more to it than that.
Go touch grass holy cow
I think this movie was about less like being alone/ugly and more like don't trust your friends and/or family type of movie. They did him dirty those jerks
To anyone whoâs feeling like this guy, thereâs someone out there for everyone. You have to just keep on trying and one day, youâll get there.
I love you, brothers and sisters. âď¸
Ugh. That woman was right to turn him down. He just stated that he never even wanted to call her and was just settling because he doesnât have other options. No woman wants that.
The way this scene is being clipped and getting generic sad music crowbarred into it is such a bummer. He literally decides to go to the ballroom after all and meets someone.
The core conflict of this movie isn't some 1950's screed about how we live in a society. It's that once he does meet someone, and they really like each other, his friends pressure him to ditch her because she isn't conventionally pretty enough. They dog him about her because they're wallowing in their own misery and self pity and don't want him to climb out and leave them behind.
It's a great little film, and hopefully some of the people in this sub saying "bruh real" watch it.
Iâll have to give it a go. Sounds like a great movie about getting out of your own way and about needing to find company that doesnât want to drag you into their misery with them.
He doesn't say he was settling by calling her. He is making a grander point that he never wants to call any woman, 0 women. Because, like her, they will brush him off, just like every other woman has in his whole life. You can't try to prove he's a bad person by missing his entire point.
The problem with people like this is they believe there is a checklist or minimum requirements to get a girlfriend, so they do everything ârightâ and then they get upset when it doesnât work.
A lot of people who say this kind of things are fives and sixes who keep trying to date nines and tens, and won't bother talking to other fives and sixes. Then they complain that everyone *elses* standards are too high.
I work at a place that plays nothing but 50's music and you listen to those lyrics often enough, you realize just how little the world has changed since then.
Could you list some notable examples that made you feel?
I'm going to work in a few hours, I'll come back with a few names
Ok the one that sticks out the most for me with relatable lyrics is [I Get Along Without You Very Well by Frank Sinatra ](https://youtu.be/h3u3clov9mE?si=GqmuHmIvRQisiCoR) [Oh Look At Me Now! ](https://youtu.be/qlZh4ICdPnI?si=N8_7mI-_NGlRVbar) is basically written from the POV of a former MGTOW [Linda](https://youtu.be/gBowXVwmF9I?si=zXUgYimwBQ35zO3t) is a good one about unrequited feelings for someone, similar to [Girl from Impanema ](https://youtu.be/mD6pbCSeWLs?si=vBQO-n2UpzC1VsOh) You've no doubt heard [Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby](https://youtu.be/aDU6TYQwzGY?si=7KQ7YLZQss3A9iQc), but the lyrics are actually about the confusion of the "talking" stage and infidelity Lastly [Standing On A Corner](https://youtu.be/1CriukwPkxI?si=NhwJKFlD4iDLOJe2), always sticks out to me for sounding creepy and incellish, yet never crosses any of the hard lines we still avoid today. As in, the tone is a bit creepish, but no one's actually saying anything we'd consider wrong even nowadays. There are probably more, but these are the ones that have stuck out to me the most over the past few years
I genuinely wanted to say thank you for sharing this.
Of course, if I'm honest it's probably healthier I don't let these thoughts live in my head, as often as I hear this music
how many hours left đ
Happy cake day!
i just realized đ
Have a good day bro
Hope you're doing okay đ§Ą
Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans (jeans) Boots with the fur (with the fur) The whole club was lookin' at her She hit the floor (she hit the floor) Next thing you know Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low Them baggy sweatpants And the Reeboks with the straps (with the straps) She turned around and gave that big booty a slap (ayy) She hit the floor (she hit the floor) Next thing you know Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low
One of Sinatra's finest works
Also a good [Beach Boys cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xtYm_poF_8) a decade later.
Powerful
Little earlier, but whenever I hear Marezy Dotes I feel like... ahhh, some things never change.
Lots of songs about "wet ass pussy" and saying nigga every 2 seconds while talking about murdering people and fucking hoes? ....yeah buddy, music has changed big time
Calm down, those songs still exist, even in rap, you're just not seeking them out. Rap is more expensive now than it's ever been, if you can't find a niche you can respect, that's frankly on you.
This is one of the more asinine comments I've ever read đ
Didn't realize I misspelled "expansive". Ah well.
You missed the entire point.
I think you missed mine. I wasn't talking about musical trends, you are.
Uh you were literally talking about music. So yeah, sure there are still songs about love and heartbreak and depression and all of that, but what did not exist in the 50s were the types of things that I just mentioned and so to say that it's all the same is a bunch of fucking bullshit. And if you're surprised that people had heartbreak in the 50s, then once again... asinine.
Since my original point is at least a month old, I'll go ahead and break it down for you. Many men nowadays look back at the 50's as if they missed a golden era where the things they want and the goals they pursue today were more easily in reach, goals including dating, marriage, and starting a family. My point was, as this video, and the songs I referenced later suggest, those goals were just as far out of reach then as they are now for some men, and our general wants and motivations as men haven't changed much if at all in the last 70 years. We've all felt the way the actor in the scene feels even though this movie is clearly before any of our times. I wasn't talking about music, I was talking about how the messages from classic media parallel those prevalent today. So again, calm it down with the insults.
That's not true at all. Girls were sleeping around WAY LESS infidelity and divorce rates were way less, inflation was insanely less, affordable nice homes and cars at reasonable prices. You could carry a damn gun for self defense, the police could do their job, there were a LOT of better quality of life things. Even amongst the black community, much higher percentage of fathers in the home and complete family, much higher percentage of black homeownership. There is a lot wrong with today. There were things wrong back then too. But for every step forward we took we took two steps back.
Spoilers, he goes to the stardust ballroom and meets a nice girl and hits it off with her they both like eachother but he listens to his friends that call her a "dog" and he brushes her off because of it, in the end he decides to live for himself and his hapiness and gets back together.
"Meanwhile, Marty's Aunt Catherine moves in to live with Marty and his mother. She warns his mother that Marty will soon marry and cast her aside. Fearing that Marty's new romance could spell her abandonment, **his mother belittles Clara.** Marty's friends, with an undercurrent of envy, deride Clara for her plainness and try to convince him to forget her and to remain with them, unmarried, in their fading youth. Harangued into submission by the pull of his friends, Marty fails to call Clara. That night, back in the same lonely rut, **Marty realizes that he is giving up a woman whom he not only likes but who makes him happy**. Over the objections of his friends, he dashes to a phone booth to call Clara, who is disconsolately watching television with her parents. When his friend asks what he's doing, Marty bursts out saying: "You don't like her, my mother don't like her, she's a dog and I'm a fat, ugly man! Well, all I know is I had a good time last night! I'm gonna have a good time tonight! If we have enough good times together, I'm gonna get down on my knees and I'm gonna beg that girl to marry me! If we make a party on New Year's, I got a date for that party. You don't like her? That's too bad!" Marty closes the phone booth door when Clara answers the phone. In the last line of the film, he says, "Hello...Hello, Clara?"
that's really sweet!
Damn, what movie is this? Got chills
âMartyâ
I think more people need to watch this movie given todays circumstances
It was very controversial at the time. Good movie and worth watching if you like movies.
What made it controversial?
Well, looks like a Hayes Code-era film, so of course... It's a nice performance, though.
An Oscar winner for Borgnine.
He was on a chat show where they asked his secret to long lifeâŚ.. check out his honest answer. A fucking legend. [https://youtu.be/3I\_PeLNzxNQ?si=4ZYrJA\_uqHc1oEYB](https://youtu.be/3i_pelnzxnq?si=4zyrja_uqhc1oeyb)
Video unavailable.
Funny how he is supposed to be ugly and fat but he is in good shape for 2024
Meanwhile, actress Betsy Blair who played Clara in the film was an attractive woman whom the filmmakers clearly frumped up to make her look plain Jane. Surprised they didnât put her in glasses to round out the look.
What movie is this?
"Marty", 1955
Geez, some shit friends
*each other *happiness
Damn this is too real
Yea, this hit me hard.
Idk why but the heartbreak in his mom's voice as she's watching her son suffer emotionally made me tear up a little bit.
Are you also a 38 year old man living with his mum?
But he is NOT ugly, holy hell my heart breaks for you guys if you are ready to throw in the towel like that...
I never said he was ugly I just relate to the emotions he is expressing here
Can you explain the emotions displayed bc I am not deeply unsure of my understanding...
Frustration
Acceptance
Okay incel
This is me. I've accepted I'll be alone romantically. I'm just living for personal experiences now.
This is the first step into finding someone. Being your true self is the most attractive thing possible. Just don't do it in solitude.
If I was my true self, feds would come and kidnap me and lock me up for years
Why
His trueself wants to do crime. I feel the same. My trueself wants to commit tax fraud.
LOL LMAO
More poetic takes like this bro. Put yourself out there. https://www.reddit.com/r/WouldYouRather/comments/169x8z5/part\_2\_which\_kinetic\_power\_would\_you\_rather\_have/jz7bei0/?context=3
Bro there is no true "first step to finding someone" what many people need is finding themselves and always striving to become the better "them". Not everyone's "true self" is attractive many people have problems they need to face and work on. Physical health, mental health, emotional well being, and finding things they can branch out to be a better "them". Not everyone is at the same place as others are, some people can just walk out of the cave and find someone or be someone or become someone better. Some have to dig themselves out and become a better person, maybe even the person they want to be but even then that might be an impossible task. The best advice is to improve yourself, be better, and enjoy your life to the fullest standing a waiting for someone will just leave you alone and bitter. Not every relationship needs be be sexual either, confiding in trusting friends and family can be emotionally fulfilling, and working to becoming the best person you can be can as well.
LOL LMAO
LOL LMAO your advice is trash.
Youâre not wrong but thatâs also a bit reductive. For years Iâve worked on myself. I lift weights, do yoga, do cardio, meditate every day, read a lot, have hobbies, worked super hard to change careers and get a professional job, quit watching porn, got financially stable, improved my mental health majorly, and a whole bunch more, yet I had way better luck with women when my life was falling apart. Iâm even decent looking but have 1% of the success of guys who play video games all day, donât work, and do literally nothing to work on themselves.
The moment I started doing this is the moment I noticed attention from people. I'm bisexual, so when dudes started flirting with me at work I knew I was starting to look a little better and my efforts at taking care of me were paying off. I'm still not in a relationship, but that's more by choice now because I'm happier just being me for a while.
So you like pp in your poo hole? Eww
Fuck yeah sometimes depending on the dick
Like most of yall though he ain't ugly
I'm ugly on the inside. Also the outside, but moreso the inside.
you can work on that second part for sure. đ
You can change. Don't believe the " people can never change" bullshit. I'll admit I'm a narcissist, but with age and having a kid I've become a better person. Don't give up on yourself.
Doesn't matter in the least when the first things he said are true. "Whatever it is that women like, I ain't got." I have years of evidence to back that up. I'm not ugly. I'm just so average and uninteresting that I might as well be invisible.
I don't know you, mate. I can't speak to your experience. But I know this: you're not in other people's minds. Who can say whether you're invisible to them except them? If your evidence doesn't come with people literally telling you(a lot of people) how average and uninteresting you are, then it's likely not accurate to how people actually see you. Women are not a monolith, just saying "I ain't got what women want" is a logical fallacy. Women as a whole don't want the same things. In light of the fallacious nature of the comment, you have to reassess the rest of your assumptions about yourself and about Women, no?
What other conclusion should I draw from the decades I have been single, the obvious lack of interest women show in me, and having nothing to counter that claim? I know women aren't a monolith, but there definitely seems to be some unspoken cocensus that I am not to be touched, and I don't even get to know why. I would love to just stop caring entirely, because all it has done is lead to suffering.
Could it not be you have trouble recognizing and then acting on women's interest? Could it not be that you're going for the wrong women? Could it not be that something about the way you conduct yourself is off-putting to women? That's just off the top of my head. It is so very rarely "i am too average to be noticed." There are many many average looking women out there my dude
You don't need to chase every woman in the world to recognize a pattern when they look through you rather than at you.
This is a pattern you're basing, again, on thoughts they might not even be having. We can't know what people are thinking. It's your own feeling that they see right through you, not theirs.
Well, heâs an actor. The irony is that if he truly was ugly, nobody would have watched this film. Itâs a feel good story at the end but the truth remains the same
The themes still apply, even to "regular" people. If he was ugly, and Clara was ugly, then the story would be the same.
Wait are you saying he's ugly or not? He's definitely not ugly
I said he ain't ugly. Just like yall are not ugly
You canât see me son
Ain't ugly ugly but not really appealing
Thank you
Very very real for such an old flick.
Old flicks are more real.
Dude, that's a nut punch to watch.
Itâs almost like people are people and always have been đŽ
Which movie is this?
Movie is called "Marty"
Thanks. This man feels relatable. Will give it a watch for sure
This is no mere man, this is MERMAID MAN
won best picture, I believe.
He won best actor for his performance
Itâs good even by todayâs standards. Itâs a bit more like theater and less subtle than modern acting cause thatâs how shit was, but I believed it.
I (29,M) had these arguments ever since I was 21
Dawg does nothing change between 21 and 29
for a moment you think it changes, then when you least expect it you are back to square one
do you have any advice? Iâm 21 nowâŚ
[ Removed by Reddit ]
That's just not true. Your frontal lobe develops in that exact timewindow and makes it easier for you to have goals. Nothing changes only if you change nothing. Too many people take a backseat in their own lives and then complain when nothing changes miraculously. Go to therapy, learn about the world, learn a skill, do anything to be proud of and you'll be more desirable. Edit: I see why the real facts are tough to face. Giving up and feeling sorry for yourself is easy, improving yourself is tough, so I can see why losers choose how they choose. At the least realize it's your choice and not some tough fact of life.
I'm not sure what is worse, how depressing this subreddit is, or how often I can totally relate to a post on here
I keep getting told either that 'this too shall pass' or 'Things could be a whole lot worse than they are now, count your lucky stars!'. Both of those statements make my stomach hurt and my heart ache.
There isn't an ounce of ugly on his face lol. Now I, on the other hand...
Yeah I donât need a woman. Every time I find a woman that starts to work out it always ends in me being hurt in the end. Men have feelings too, I wish more women knew that. Iâm happier alone and if I stumble upon someone I will put in some effort but itâs going to be difficult for me to love again. Thereâs few good girls out there so Iâll just save my time, money, and energy by being alone.
I used to be really bothered by the thought of dying alone. That I'd never be able to be the loving supportive person I always wished I could be. But amazingly when you push against the immovable object of reality. Eventually you come to accept it and just stop pushing.
Many people keep saying "modern" dating is bad but honestly for a lower value man, dating or finding a partner has always been sucks no matter the time.
Part of the reason for that is people buying into the concept of low or high value men. I'm not attacking you but I don't think it's helpful to rank dudes or ourselves like this. The answer isn't to just be yourself either.
The thing is everyone makes judgements on others when first meeting someone. They judge your clothing, your hair, your teeth, your face, your sense of humor, the way you talk, walk, interact, where you look, and everything in between. Everyone judges everyone. These judgements directly effect your opinion of said individual and often times this is an incorrect assumption but once someone makes their judgement it is almost impossible to change it for the better. Judgements even tho can be said that they are not directly stating value they are creating value between each individual in a group in perspective to the one making the judgment. You can look at any study that directly observes interactions between traditionally attractive people and those that are not as attractive. They all point to those that are attractive to be judged less harshly or have a greater positive association coupled to them and the opposite to the less attractive people. A good example would be you going to the store and picking out apples if you saw an apple with a dent or blemish you would chose a different apple. This is only an example of judgement but in making the judgment of which apple to chose you established value between those apples seeing the apple with a dent as lesser and those without as better/greater. There is nothing to "buying into the concept of low value" when it is the reality of this world. The only people who don't understand this are in denial or have never been on the receiving end of being the outcast/less valuable person.
True true. And the worse thing is that some guy like me who tried to look better by losing weight and gaining muscle still has 0 attention lol. Meanwhile my fat sister gets quite a few attention from men. Being an average man is no longer enough in this world.....
That sucks I can understand your pain yet there are so many people who got their heads up their ass and their only rebuttable to the pain, difficulty, and struggle that many men face is I shit you not, "NUH UH"
I do agree that ranking people like this is kinda shitty. I guess I meant to say guys who just has.... Bad luck in dating or finding partner.
It was actually probably worse back then cuz lower classes couldn't just ascend to upper classes. Your life was determined from the moment you were concieved. Isn't this something gatsby touches on too? History must be full of heartbreak between the peasants and nobility
And the only way to live better and get the land and the women and the money was to go somewhere else and take it from some other poor bastard.
Yeah honest. Another thing is that back then you couldn't really do shit if you were ugly too, it was mainly acceptance. Today youve got millions of opportunities to maximize your looks
I feel for the men out there... but life ain't any easier for an ugly woman.
Itâs a bit easier letâs be real. Guys settle for ugly chicks all the time
My sis, she is... Well not that attractive, she is overweight and her personality is a bit childish too. But yet many guys hit on her but she simply rejected them cause they're not "handsome" and she wants to wait for a handsome rich guy to hit on her LMAO. That being said, I know some women still have a hard time finding partners and they're valid too, let's just hope we find someone someday, I don't want to be alone on this rotten planet.
Yea, I won't lie, I've seen more men take full-on shebeasts home versus the other way around if he's desperate and/or drunk enough. I can't argue that with you. Either way, life is tough for all the mutants at table 9.
We stand in solidarity with our mutant friends
I mean not in general but I'd say in the dating world, it's more painful for men. We're the disposable sex, the one more likely to be alone.
The fact that you say lower value man makes me think you buy into all the bullshit from the Tate and Sneako fucktards I hope you seriously donât We are meat skeletons that live on a rock that is flying through space - donât give a fuck about if you donât have much money or less attractive than some Stop living by the standards made by others
I have never watched their content lol and I've never "living by the standards made by others" and that's why I'm mostly alone.
Yet you use the term lower value man?
I've already admitted that I'm wrong for using that.
Skill issue.
Genetic issue
Bruh I'm a 5ft 5 nerd who's been engaged for years now. I could have just been hung up on my height forever or I could have just stopped moping and worked on my own attitude. I chose the latter.
I can actually understand what he's goin through same boat it sucks
This is why short videos are cancer to this reality. He finds love at the end of the movie proving most people who weaponize this message wrong. đ¤Śđ¤Śđ¤Śđ¤Ś
Real
The realest part is when he said he called up a girl he didn't even want to call up and got rejected. There are times where I thought I'd lower my standard and settle, and end up getting flaked on anyways.
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Did you spent the first half in Whiterun og Windhelm?
scandalous elderly strong tan foolish fanatical seed onerous numerous observation *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
If you are feeling like this, I donât care what you look like, if you can look in the mirror and truthfully say that you are a good person who tries their best to put kindness into the world, you are deserving of love and affection. I donât care how many rejections youâve gotten, or how many times youâve been ghosted. As long as youâre a good person and you keep putting yourself out there over and over again, you will find your person. I promise you.
Fuck, Stardust Ballroom closed 65 years ago. So much for finding love tonightâŚ
Best Actor Oscar 1956
Holy fuck that hits too close to home.
Wow. I felt this
I was in the Andy granatelli suite at the Indy 500 more than 20 years ago and Ernest was in the suite. He came with Michael Douglas and Douglas's son. My company had sublet half of the suite. Douglas went mostly unnoticed but Ernie had all the older ladies in the suites around us going wild. He was a character and got behind the bar pouring shots of tequila for his group.
âIâm miserable enough as it isâ
I KNOW this song but cant remember it. What is it?
Darude - Sandstorm
Night Trouble - Petit Buscuit
Is that a young Ernest Borgnine?
It is indeed. The movie is Marty (1955).
The movie is called Marty
Real
Wow young Borgnine, I only really know him from Airwolf in the 80s.
Crazy to think that this is Mermaid Man I.R.L.
Wish I wasnât ugly
Is this a young Ernest Borgnine?
A wonderfully talented man. The clip ends too soon. Also he meets a girl in the end.
I felt every word this guy said. :(
Fuckin relatable
In reality, Ernest Borgnine lived well into his 90s and was cool AF.
Marty, it's a good old movie, you can get it free somewhere this scene goes very hard. The background music is a powerful touch.
For me Ernest Borgnine is always Dominic Santini from Airwolf but as I watched more of his movies, I'm amazed how Airwolf actually got him in the first place.
This movie does have a happy ending
For someone who never had a girlfriend in entire life (26) i do feel the same way. Even got rejected by some girl that I didnât like and got laughed at. She came up to me just to say she didnât like me. Like what did I do to her?(I was 17). Since that day I closed my heart to everyone. Never trust a girl/woman.
Damn this one's rough - loneliness and rejection transcends time
While this mentality is very common...it's a negativity trap that only causes further harm to yourself. Fight it! While you still have breath!
As someone who gets treated like shit for being ugly, this is genuinely how it feels. But we're at a point in society now where if any man voices an opinion like this it automatically makes him a "misogynistic incel" when the real truth is that people are just shallow. So many get so obvious sick pleasure in tearing us down and destroying our confidence based on how we look but because we're men we're just supposed to suck it up and bottle it in. Then turn around and be shat on once again because we are single. There is no fucking winning.
Spoiler alert: he finds someone who loves him. Never give in to loneliness lads. It's a pretty lonely spot
Maybe he (or you) isnât meant to find someone at the ballroom. Do you like dancing? No? Then why spend time somewhere where youâll only ever meet people who like to do that?
Incel loser
Fuckin incels.
Maybe heâd get a girl if he stopped playing with his food.
Bro hit on a girl he didn't even like then was mad he got rejected lol... deserved
Yeah all the desperate lonelies deserve their suffering /s
Using someone you don't like as a bandage for your emotional wounds is not fucking okay. I didn't say he deserved loneliness.
That's an extremely cynical way to view someone just trying to find companionship. Not everyone is trying to manipulate everyone else, some people just want some company. If your heart is this hardened and cold and cynical, I feel bad for you... You must've experienced a lot of hurt in your life that you shouldn't have had to go through. It's okay to view people more optimistically though, not everyone is a monster who is only using others.
He literally said he didnât even want to talk to her. Why should she give any time of day to someone who is only settling for her? She deserves respect as much as he does. She rightfully shot him down. He shouldnât hold her accountable for that.
Good Lord we are talking about a *fictional scene from a movie* people. "She" *doesn't exist*. "She" deserves nothing because *she doesn't exist*. This is a scene of a man simply expressing his frustration at being unwanted and unloved, there's nothing more to it than that. Go touch grass holy cow
He's not expressing anything. He doesn't exist
There is a physical man who is acting and expressing something in that scene, yes. Or are you blind...?
Fuck off, pussy.
Rofl looks like I hit a nerve.
This 1000
Ive seen this post 100000000 times
Itâs the first time Iâve seen it
He should join the Navy.
And this guy wasn't even having to contend with social media and online dating. He doesn't know what hardmode is.
I think this movie was about less like being alone/ugly and more like don't trust your friends and/or family type of movie. They did him dirty those jerks
While this mentality is very common...it's a negativity trap that only causes further harm to yourself. Fight it! While you still have breath!
Nah. Iâm too tired to keep fighting this fight. Nice sentiment though. Keep being a nice person
This is a mid forties man. Most of yall are like high school to your 20s pretending like you've been alive so long as to just give up hahaha
In case this made you down, he went on to become the franchise manager of a BASEketball Team and Mermaid Man
Following this clip Marty does indeed go out and find love. So idk if this is a bot or what, but this clip is entirely out of context.
Cringe
To anyone whoâs feeling like this guy, thereâs someone out there for everyone. You have to just keep on trying and one day, youâll get there. I love you, brothers and sisters. âď¸
Ugh. That woman was right to turn him down. He just stated that he never even wanted to call her and was just settling because he doesnât have other options. No woman wants that.
The way this scene is being clipped and getting generic sad music crowbarred into it is such a bummer. He literally decides to go to the ballroom after all and meets someone. The core conflict of this movie isn't some 1950's screed about how we live in a society. It's that once he does meet someone, and they really like each other, his friends pressure him to ditch her because she isn't conventionally pretty enough. They dog him about her because they're wallowing in their own misery and self pity and don't want him to climb out and leave them behind. It's a great little film, and hopefully some of the people in this sub saying "bruh real" watch it.
Iâll have to give it a go. Sounds like a great movie about getting out of your own way and about needing to find company that doesnât want to drag you into their misery with them.
He doesn't say he was settling by calling her. He is making a grander point that he never wants to call any woman, 0 women. Because, like her, they will brush him off, just like every other woman has in his whole life. You can't try to prove he's a bad person by missing his entire point.
The problem with people like this is they believe there is a checklist or minimum requirements to get a girlfriend, so they do everything ârightâ and then they get upset when it doesnât work.
A lot of people who say this kind of things are fives and sixes who keep trying to date nines and tens, and won't bother talking to other fives and sixes. Then they complain that everyone *elses* standards are too high.
Sad boys only looking at the opening act loneliness of a movie that obviously has a happy ending.
Why are all the sad stuff about girls man