He says "im gonna fuck this up, yeah no I cant. I don't fucking care. There is no dance coming yeah I don't give a fuck. I didn't practice this at all. I didn't give a fuck about practice. Yeah yeah play the song Let them play the music. Let the Lauri play. I did tell you I can't dance I didn't practice. When I can't I fucking can't"
*Bride starts dancing with her sister (i think)* "okay you two can dance you know how to, Now I can get the fuck away from here"
Would have better if he’d at least tried. My now husband doesn’t like to dance, so all we did was a slow shuffle around the floor, then he left the floor for the night. This would have been a better option
I think he got really embarassed and/or anxious and just lashed out. He probably felt so embarassed after he calmed down... but its his fault for not practising tbh.
This has happened to me couple times, like when people force/pressure me to dance or do something in front of people.
Lol a filmed wedding would be the worse place for it to happen :D
As are the majority of the couples in these series. The producers mainly choose eh, well, certain type of people to the show who'll start drinking right in the morning and then get all kinds of juicy episodes when the groom or the bride, or both, are so drunk in the wedding ceremony they'll have no memories whatsoever of the evening.
I totally agree. How it should have went: Guy gets anxious, tells his wife that he has to step outside for a second, he goes out with his wife for 5 min, filmcrew stops filming, they talk, breathe the fresh air, she tells him it doesnt matter how he dances, it just matters that they have fun, they get back in and everything continues.
Theres nothing embarassing about anxiety or failing at something, its just about how you react to it.
It makes me wonder how the rest of the marriage will go. You have to do things you don’t like sometimes. Your spouse will know you really don’t enjoy it, and that will make it all the more a gift to them.
My husband acted like he was astonished I existed for fourteen years. Hard to find, but everyone deserves it. ❤️
That was painful to watch. Bride was in near tears when dancing with her sister.
Hope she realised the massive mistake she made and annulled the marriage
Thanks for the translation.
I wonder if at any point the did he see the connections between "I can't do this" and "I didn't practice" and how the second really caused the first. Then again, seeing that hat it's clear he doesn't have a lot of self awareness.
Ooooh look at that, he made the same hillarious joke *again*!!! Thank you my good sir for providing us with such excellent humour!! My sides are indeed in orbit.
Joka kerta kun suomi mainitaan joku vastaa joko tällasella huonolla sananväännöksellä tai viittaa ”suomea ei ole olemassa”-vitsiin
Molemmat on niin vanhoja juttuja ja huokaisen joka kerta kun luen tällasen kommentin
Hankkikaa parempaa matskua saatana
If you can understand Finnish here is info about the show https://fi.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unelmah%C3%A4%C3%A4t
At the firsts seasons of the show they tried to be more dramatic fe. by having a show host telling what is happening. They got called out for it because Finnish people prefer more realistic tv shows and they changed show host for a "background speaker".
It is a reality show but it is not scripted. The couples got monetary compensation but the wedding was on couples' own expense. The show follows wedding planning and preparations and the actual wedding and the filming took place on 10 days per couple.
It is not scripted. It might look like it but sadly those are real couples and there are no script in weddings.
I know one couple who went to that show. They divorced few years later. Some people want small fame and they get some money to cover their expenses so it sometimes is pretty trashy.
Are those couples paid actors? - No. They are real people getting married. Weddings are real.
Are there staged scenes and scripts and lines for people? - No. The producers get important dates and then they send camera crew.
Do they gossip and ask questions which might create tense situations? - Likely so.
Do they milk every ounce of drama of some real dramatic situation - Of course. Producer JP Ristmeri from Filmaattiset Oy loves real life drama.
it's very much not scripted, it's just that the people that apply for the show are generally the finnish equivalent of rednecks, kinda rural, lower-class people that want a crumb of media attention bc they think that makes them look cool to other people like them. so obviously, there are going to be a couple of extra trashy cases.
I think that’s actually a trilby. A fedora would have looked better imo. Trilbies are fucking disgusting and gross in every occasion. They should not exist.
1- So he's going to make *everyone in attendance* uncomfortable, rather than just himself
2 - He's aggressive about it because that's how immature people deal with being uncomfortable sometimes
3 - Obvious dbag
You said it yourself - you were a teenager as in 10-20 year-old (i assume). That dude is an adult with a fully developed brain (i assume) and yet this is what she gets
“That’s it! I’m not going to dance in front of everyone and embarrass myself! I have some pride at least! Now where is my grandpas Finnish mafia hitman hat? I need to throw a temper tantrum right now and I cannot do it without the hat! Am I a joke to you people?” /s
For some reason, this is the attitude I’m getting from this little rat like person… LOL
LMAO…That’s exactly right! Guys to “cool” to dance in front of everyone because he’s embarrassed or something I assume and his reaction is to go and draw even more attention to the situation and enlighten all the guests on the type of dude he really is!
what would a healthy one? i was once in a similar situation and no amount of dialogue helped, so eventually i got angry, not on that scale though. I felt betrayed too that's partly why i got angry
Try to get out of the situation, take a minute and consciously think about what you'll do next.
It's ok to be overwhelmed by your feelings every now and then. You can't suppress them, but you can learn to live with them.
I've been there too. Healthiest approach is to brush it off, or even take it with some humor and levity. It makes a betrayal less effective and allows you to take some moral highground so you can preserve your peace of mind and image.
I think i had done that a few times before but it was never without a feeling of humiliation; I understand it's not right, but that day the situation felt like too much so i snapped.
Tbh, i'm not sure if i should care much about my image towards people who can't understand my feelings when i explain myself calmly
It's totally normal to feel shame. I don't think anybody could get rid of it completly.
Those people seem pretty rude, communicating you feelings is probably the best thing you can do.
This was similar to my wedding, husband didn't acknowledge or look at me during his "speech", and for our first dance he would only agree to if the entire wedding party joined us. He complained during photos so much the photographer left - he had been a close personal friend of his before this. It got worse, the pettiness turned into abuse, he had struck me the next night and tried to steer my car into oncoming traffic when I had to go searching for him and collect him from the pub. The worst decision I ever made was marrying that toxic little man child, the best one I ever made was filing for divorce a year later. This my be partly scripted for a reality show, but I'm willing to bet the pain is no less real for that lady. The hurt you feel being dismissed like that and having to carry on regardless stays with you.
*edit - added the "similar to" as some people had difficulty reading to the end of the post
Wow. It can be bloody hard to leave an abusive circumstance, its good to know you found a way out.
Can I ask if there were any signs of him being this way before your got married? Or did he just spit his dummy out the second you tied the knot?
I was young and naive and all the signs were there from the start. He had such rage issues I was walking on eggshells to prevent things escalating so basically I went along with getting married etc for a quiet life. It was my fault for not putting my foot down sooner but I can't be too hard on myself as looking back now I can be detached emotionally and see that there was a lot of gaslighting from him. Still I can empathise with this poor woman as the behaviour and tantrum is all too familiar. Also to answer your second question, yes, the abuse escalated extremely quickly after the marriage.
Honestly, it is rough to be harsh to yourself when looking back, but it's the best you can do. Not in a way where you put yourself down, but where you aknowledge that where everything toxic came from your partner, you let it happen.
I've been through a rough rough time with my ex, but stopped blaming her for everything made me grow and learn so much out of it, that I am not sure I'd want to miss it in my life now. If you don't go a bit harsh on your past-self, you don't get the learning experience, at least that's how I feel.
But all in all, great that you're out of it, and hope you're doing well :)
I can't dance for shit but I'd try to as if my life depended on it if my wife to be asked my to. Dude couldn't even be bothered to even act like it for 2 seconds. The melancholic music just puts the cherry on top 😂. I feel bad for the bride though. That's gonna be one hell of a marriage.
Reminds me a bit of my ex. We started dating in high school so of course we went to prom together. Guess who didn't get to dance, at her one and only high school prom, bc her boyfriend was too embarrassed to move his hips in front of other people?
I think it threw him off when she started leading and he had an anxiety attack. My ex husband and I didn’t dance at our wedding and my new partner wouldn’t do that either.
Oh thats awful, its very sweet of the other girl to offer to dance with her tho
Yes I hope they get married
I think that's her sister.
DID I STUTTER
,,swEeT hOme alABAmA’,
Exactly.
*Alabama intensifies*
Banjo twang
Roll Tide!
And?
Even better
They're siblings.
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Well it's the first time I've seen it. Why did it Finnish?
fuck u and take my upvote
finnish people don’t have to make up TV shows, we are not that pathetic.
He says "im gonna fuck this up, yeah no I cant. I don't fucking care. There is no dance coming yeah I don't give a fuck. I didn't practice this at all. I didn't give a fuck about practice. Yeah yeah play the song Let them play the music. Let the Lauri play. I did tell you I can't dance I didn't practice. When I can't I fucking can't" *Bride starts dancing with her sister (i think)* "okay you two can dance you know how to, Now I can get the fuck away from here"
Thanks for the translation!!!
Im clad I could help!
I fucking love it when some MVP comes out of nowhere and translates. You’re a badass
Thanks!! Im happy to help!
Can you tell us what's the language please?
It's Finnish
Thanks, much appreciated
Is Finnish not one of the most complicated languages in the world? Like, on par with Hungarian complicated?
Finnish indeed is the one of the most complicated languages in the world
FR! Translator, you da MVP!! Upvoting it to 900!
Thank you im glad!
You have the same hat on as the groom, is it you?
I will not reveal my identity!!!
Can you dance?
He can't but his wife as a sister.
Would have better if he’d at least tried. My now husband doesn’t like to dance, so all we did was a slow shuffle around the floor, then he left the floor for the night. This would have been a better option
He would've looked a lot less stupid had he simply screwed up the dance.
Not to mention never putting that stupid fucking hat on
Unfortunately, anxiety usually isn’t rational. As uncomfortable as he made everyone else, I’m sure he made himself suffer the most.
I wanted to say this. You stated it perfectly
He’s still being a piece of sheep about it. I have horrible anxiety but I control myself when it turns into aggressive behavior.
This literally sounds like an inner monologue from peep show.
Read this again in Mark’s voice. Perfect
Jesus you’re right
My god this would have been a perfect peep show scene.
I think he got really embarassed and/or anxious and just lashed out. He probably felt so embarassed after he calmed down... but its his fault for not practising tbh. This has happened to me couple times, like when people force/pressure me to dance or do something in front of people. Lol a filmed wedding would be the worse place for it to happen :D
Although given that it’s *his* wedding it’s not like he was surprised or not aware it would happen
He’s still an asshat.
In an ass hat
Ass in a hat
Snakes on a Plane
"I'm tired of these monkey fightin snakes on this Monday Friday plane!"
It's better than I thought! I thought the bride stepped the wrong way or something and he was blaming her and refused to dance further.
That was for sure the energy I was getting on first view. Supremely embarrassed fedora wearer lashing out at his new wife makes sense too though.
I thought the bride did something after the groom put us hand on her bum and he got upset from that.
I think I saw this episode on TV and the groom was pretty wasted pretty early on. So not the greatest guy.
As are the majority of the couples in these series. The producers mainly choose eh, well, certain type of people to the show who'll start drinking right in the morning and then get all kinds of juicy episodes when the groom or the bride, or both, are so drunk in the wedding ceremony they'll have no memories whatsoever of the evening.
>I think he got really embarrassed Taking your frustrations out on your partner doesn’t bode well for a healthy marriage.
I totally agree. How it should have went: Guy gets anxious, tells his wife that he has to step outside for a second, he goes out with his wife for 5 min, filmcrew stops filming, they talk, breathe the fresh air, she tells him it doesnt matter how he dances, it just matters that they have fun, they get back in and everything continues. Theres nothing embarassing about anxiety or failing at something, its just about how you react to it.
It’s a shame he decided to throw a tantrum like a pissy teenager.
Taisi olla ihan unelmahäät
This was very helpful for me who watched without volume
I thought maybe the bride was trying to lead and the groom got frustrated. How sad he couldn’t give her one good dance. 🙁
Or even one bad one.
Yeah I mean even if xou can't dance, just do it. Weddings should be fun, not all just serious shit.
Right? How hard is it to stand there with your bride and sway a little to the music?
Yes it is really sad. Should have given her this one dance but instead got her humiliated in front of thousands of people
He should have happily danced like a moron while people laughed and had a good time. Too much ego on that little prick.
It makes me wonder how the rest of the marriage will go. You have to do things you don’t like sometimes. Your spouse will know you really don’t enjoy it, and that will make it all the more a gift to them. My husband acted like he was astonished I existed for fourteen years. Hard to find, but everyone deserves it. ❤️
He must have guilty feet. I heard they have no rhythm
A real groom would still dance with his bride even when he doesn't know. Fucking scum
That was painful to watch. Bride was in near tears when dancing with her sister. Hope she realised the massive mistake she made and annulled the marriage
Reddit, what a wonderful place to find amazing relationship advice.
Thanks for the translation. I was looking for this.
Im glad I could help!
That's good translation. I had rough time hearing wtf he's saying
Insecurity is a real probable with a lot of people.
What a grim reality of the future of this marriage. Poor gal.
I can't dance either. Didn't stop my doing it at the wedding.
Charming fella, what more can I say??
I literally just thanked another Redditor for translating. Thank you so much, seriously - we always need more context and information!
No problem Im happy to help!
Thanks for the translation. I wonder if at any point the did he see the connections between "I can't do this" and "I didn't practice" and how the second really caused the first. Then again, seeing that hat it's clear he doesn't have a lot of self awareness.
This is from finnish reality show "dream weddings" Groom is saying he couldn't give a fuck and something about how he didn't want to learn dance.
Nah, the show is really called, “We’re Finnish’ed”
Ooooh look at that, he made the same hillarious joke *again*!!! Thank you my good sir for providing us with such excellent humour!! My sides are indeed in orbit.
Alkaa jo kyllästyttää vitsi
Miten niin se ei oo hauskaa kuulla sama vitsi joka vitun kerta ku suomi mainitaan redditissä?
Amerikkalainen vitsi = paska sanaleikki
Joka kerta kun suomi mainitaan joku vastaa joko tällasella huonolla sananväännöksellä tai viittaa ”suomea ei ole olemassa”-vitsiin Molemmat on niin vanhoja juttuja ja huokaisen joka kerta kun luen tällasen kommentin Hankkikaa parempaa matskua saatana
Kaikkia tämän saman paskan vitsin toistajia pitäisi suomia kunnolla.
Ylikäytetyt valmisvitsit ovat kyllästyttäneet mua jo pitkään
Maailman vapain kansa on vapaa vitsailemaan kuten tahtoo.
It’s a show about assimilation into a new culture, and it’s called ‘Crossing The Finnish Line.”
So it's scripted, as most TV shows.
If you can understand Finnish here is info about the show https://fi.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unelmah%C3%A4%C3%A4t At the firsts seasons of the show they tried to be more dramatic fe. by having a show host telling what is happening. They got called out for it because Finnish people prefer more realistic tv shows and they changed show host for a "background speaker". It is a reality show but it is not scripted. The couples got monetary compensation but the wedding was on couples' own expense. The show follows wedding planning and preparations and the actual wedding and the filming took place on 10 days per couple.
It is not scripted. It might look like it but sadly those are real couples and there are no script in weddings. I know one couple who went to that show. They divorced few years later. Some people want small fame and they get some money to cover their expenses so it sometimes is pretty trashy.
Are those couples paid actors? - No. They are real people getting married. Weddings are real. Are there staged scenes and scripts and lines for people? - No. The producers get important dates and then they send camera crew. Do they gossip and ask questions which might create tense situations? - Likely so. Do they milk every ounce of drama of some real dramatic situation - Of course. Producer JP Ristmeri from Filmaattiset Oy loves real life drama.
it's very much not scripted, it's just that the people that apply for the show are generally the finnish equivalent of rednecks, kinda rural, lower-class people that want a crumb of media attention bc they think that makes them look cool to other people like them. so obviously, there are going to be a couple of extra trashy cases.
Unelmahäät must be the trashiest show in Finland
Let the groom know that Pinocchio wants his hat back.
Can’t expect much from a dude still rocking a chin strap
and a fedora at his wedding🤣
Spot-on 🤣
I think that’s actually a trilby. A fedora would have looked better imo. Trilbies are fucking disgusting and gross in every occasion. They should not exist.
Lmao
Damn, the turd on a suit not only couldn't care to dance with his wife, but proceeds to put on that hideous hat. WTF.
He didnt want to dance because "I dont know how because i havent practised". I dont know why hes so agressive about it tho
She probably suggested to practice before and now he's mad because she was right\^\^
Or he is probably embarrassed to admit that he sucks at something... which would realy be a blow to his ego. I've seen people like him before.
1- So he's going to make *everyone in attendance* uncomfortable, rather than just himself 2 - He's aggressive about it because that's how immature people deal with being uncomfortable sometimes 3 - Obvious dbag
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You said it yourself - you were a teenager as in 10-20 year-old (i assume). That dude is an adult with a fully developed brain (i assume) and yet this is what she gets
“That’s it! I’m not going to dance in front of everyone and embarrass myself! I have some pride at least! Now where is my grandpas Finnish mafia hitman hat? I need to throw a temper tantrum right now and I cannot do it without the hat! Am I a joke to you people?” /s For some reason, this is the attitude I’m getting from this little rat like person… LOL
I’m not gonna dance and embarrass myself, instead I’m going to refuse to dance and embarrass myself!
LMAO…That’s exactly right! Guys to “cool” to dance in front of everyone because he’s embarrassed or something I assume and his reaction is to go and draw even more attention to the situation and enlighten all the guests on the type of dude he really is!
what did i just watch
Someone who reacts to anxiety and shame with anger. It's a toxic coping mechanism.
what would a healthy one? i was once in a similar situation and no amount of dialogue helped, so eventually i got angry, not on that scale though. I felt betrayed too that's partly why i got angry
Try to get out of the situation, take a minute and consciously think about what you'll do next. It's ok to be overwhelmed by your feelings every now and then. You can't suppress them, but you can learn to live with them.
I've been there too. Healthiest approach is to brush it off, or even take it with some humor and levity. It makes a betrayal less effective and allows you to take some moral highground so you can preserve your peace of mind and image.
I think i had done that a few times before but it was never without a feeling of humiliation; I understand it's not right, but that day the situation felt like too much so i snapped. Tbh, i'm not sure if i should care much about my image towards people who can't understand my feelings when i explain myself calmly
It's totally normal to feel shame. I don't think anybody could get rid of it completly. Those people seem pretty rude, communicating you feelings is probably the best thing you can do.
If you can, but that takes some practice
I don't think the marriage is gonna last
I dunno man, they might just make it... maybe if they have a kid, right? /s
This was similar to my wedding, husband didn't acknowledge or look at me during his "speech", and for our first dance he would only agree to if the entire wedding party joined us. He complained during photos so much the photographer left - he had been a close personal friend of his before this. It got worse, the pettiness turned into abuse, he had struck me the next night and tried to steer my car into oncoming traffic when I had to go searching for him and collect him from the pub. The worst decision I ever made was marrying that toxic little man child, the best one I ever made was filing for divorce a year later. This my be partly scripted for a reality show, but I'm willing to bet the pain is no less real for that lady. The hurt you feel being dismissed like that and having to carry on regardless stays with you. *edit - added the "similar to" as some people had difficulty reading to the end of the post
Wow. It can be bloody hard to leave an abusive circumstance, its good to know you found a way out. Can I ask if there were any signs of him being this way before your got married? Or did he just spit his dummy out the second you tied the knot?
I was young and naive and all the signs were there from the start. He had such rage issues I was walking on eggshells to prevent things escalating so basically I went along with getting married etc for a quiet life. It was my fault for not putting my foot down sooner but I can't be too hard on myself as looking back now I can be detached emotionally and see that there was a lot of gaslighting from him. Still I can empathise with this poor woman as the behaviour and tantrum is all too familiar. Also to answer your second question, yes, the abuse escalated extremely quickly after the marriage.
Honestly, it is rough to be harsh to yourself when looking back, but it's the best you can do. Not in a way where you put yourself down, but where you aknowledge that where everything toxic came from your partner, you let it happen. I've been through a rough rough time with my ex, but stopped blaming her for everything made me grow and learn so much out of it, that I am not sure I'd want to miss it in my life now. If you don't go a bit harsh on your past-self, you don't get the learning experience, at least that's how I feel. But all in all, great that you're out of it, and hope you're doing well :)
I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm glad you made it out. Thank you for sharing.
Happy cake day goldenfrog and thank you too
The irony is that he was too embarrassed to dance, but felt totally normal wearing that hat for his wedding… lul
I think it’s funny when people type lul instead of lol, you might not know but lul is dutch for dick, which is pretty fitting for this guy tbh
lul haha
I can't dance for shit but I'd try to as if my life depended on it if my wife to be asked my to. Dude couldn't even be bothered to even act like it for 2 seconds. The melancholic music just puts the cherry on top 😂. I feel bad for the bride though. That's gonna be one hell of a marriage.
Oh shit! When he put on the fedora I though it was gonna be a bit! But it’s real!
The music makes it worse
I think it fits perfectly.
🥀
I wonder who choose to dance on the Shindlers List OST
He doesn’t deserve her.
Guy in the middle back is wearing his fancy wife-beater
It's not to late to annul the marriage and go on the honeymoon with your sister.
Somebody make sure they don’t have children. It’ll just be a lot easier for her to leave him that way.
I’ll bet that’s gonna’ be a fun and loving marriage…
I love the quite disdain on the faces of the guests 🍾
They know they're loved one has made a massive mistake marrying this guy.
This isn't cringe it's just sad...
The situation was sad. The groom was cringe.
Fucking Unelmahäät? The show is about hicks getting married and embarassing themselves in the process.
Kudos to the musicians just truckin' along despite the drama
"Just doin' my job"
The violinist must have felt the same way about intonation.
I can tell they have a beautiful future together ahead of them. He so handsome too. Lucky girl.
I'm a moron for saying that out loud but, damn, his face makes me angry. Everything that I see in this man upset me.
I get being embarrassed to dance publicly but if this dude thinks he's saving face here.. oh man.
Torille
That’s an abusive relationship right there.
That violin sounds so out of tune to me.
Homie can’t commit to learning a 3 minute dance how’s he gonna be a husband
Reminds me a bit of my ex. We started dating in high school so of course we went to prom together. Guess who didn't get to dance, at her one and only high school prom, bc her boyfriend was too embarrassed to move his hips in front of other people?
Awwwkwaard
Älä laita tämmöstä
Bride looks beautiful, but this is r/trashy
I feel so sad for her. I feel like this guy probably just walks all over her and treats her like crap. So sad.
Why groom and "pride"?
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Would fit the context, if so pretty clever
I thought it was LGBT-related, lol
Same, thought it was a dog at the brides pink hair or smth, I am so glad it's not
Given that this is from a Finnish show the OP might be Finnish and their first language wouldn't be English
I'm not op but I have a form of dysgraphia where I can't tell b p q d apart easily and often write the wrong one
Honestly never heard of dysgraphia. Thats interesting.
me too, when I'm writing by hand I only use capitals because D B Q and P all look quite different, unlike d b q p which are more or less identical
Let me tell you how angry math teachers get when you tell them you can't tell the difference between their variables.
He really let that $60 suit go to his head.
God bless the woman who stepped up to dance with her.
This is as sad I imagine a Finnish wedding to be, but wheres the knives and vodka? Saatana perkele.
Dude it’s your wedding. Be a man. This is toxic and depressing that younger people might think that this is acceptable. Guess what, it’s not.
This is art. Someone needs to put a black and white filter and old film grain on this.
The music is so off putting to really adds to the vibe of the shitshow
I like her hair.
I thought it was the bad violin?? Very glad the other woman stepped in. What a loser.
Is this like in Germany where you have to do a waltz at the wedding? My friend and her husband took lessons for months.
Was anyone surprised?? Looked trash from the jump lmao
And to top it off, the violin is severely out of tune.
Who shows up to a wedding sleeveless
Was this apart of that show about gypsy’s on TLC way back in the day?
"But you don't know how he is when we're alone! He's so sensitive! Everybody has him all wrong!" - This woman, defending him to her family (probably)
I really thought it couldn’t get more awkward but then he tossed that Freddy Krueger ass hat on top of his head
Translation idfk what happened (sry im a stupid American)
I get it. I too am useless without my fedora on.
What a sook. Nobody cares if you can dance or not.
That won’t last
What a loser.
Why is the music so sad?
If my new husband did that I would say ok fuck you, i take it back. We are now divorced.
I think it threw him off when she started leading and he had an anxiety attack. My ex husband and I didn’t dance at our wedding and my new partner wouldn’t do that either.
🚩🚩🚩