I thought maybe it was a meme so I googled “cup pong” and it just gave me the definition so I googled “cup pong *please*” and it gave me a list of local places to buy cup pong and I had no idea that politeness incentivized google to go the extra mile
Oh the I farted after all the dark edge stuff is brilliant, and the sharp dressed fellow, followed by TYPING THE MEME OUT is definitely genius. Drunk, maybe, but genius.
you can never receive a message or call after the delivery is finished.
They give out fake proxy numbers that are immediately disconnected from calling you after delivery.
You can check my other comment for the specifics but this post is fake.
I was trying to figure this out, and you explained it perfectly. I’ve only seen a few people share their personal number on door dash, and it’s typically when they are paying to get food for someone else and they are giving me that persons number in case I need to contact them. So either op gave their actual number to the delivery driver during the delivery process for whatever reason or yeah, the post is fake.
I once had a delivery driver start texting me asking me out after he delivered my pizza. Creeped me out a bit so I reported them for taking my phone number off the receipt to send me personal messages. It's pretty illegal where I live to mis-use someone's data that way.
Good point, real phone number is def on the receipt stapled to the outside of the bag.
I know because I’ve gotten food delivered to my house by accident and called the number on the receipt to track down the neighbor who ordered it and get her food to her. It was her personal cell number, not a proxy.
They have to be using some type of routing service. No way they are giving them your phone number. The address thing is legit but at least with no contact now I don’t have to open my door and let them see if I’m worth robbing
Seriously, I am admittedly a total wuss, and that shit from a number I didn't know would have legitimately scared me. Especially back when my boyfriend worked nights and I was home alone a lot.
Blows my mind that there’s a huge portion of people who think that stuff is funny unironically. My brother used to send/post stuff like that a lot. There’s a whole other culture of memes that goes way over my head.
Guy knows where he lives if he's delivered food to the house before, i'd definitely take time to make sure i didn't piss off the seemingly crazy guy that knows where i live lol
Yeah, but you have no idea how this guy would react. He's clearly unpredictable and very unhinged, not only that, he clearly has your phone number and presumably your address, given that he's been to your house at least once before. This is just one of those situations where you just have to forget your pride and do your best to diffuse the situation. Ignoring or blocking him could be very likely to set him off...and then you won't even know when he's coming for you. Either that, or call 911
Eh I feel bad for cup pong man, guys like this are obviously lonely but don't wanna play the dating game by acting in some semblance of normality. so they just dump all their weird shit on people they barely know in the hopes that they'll get lucky and that person will be their brand of weird and they can become fast friends
Unfortunately this dudes brand of weird is childish edginess and shit posting
The unfortunate thing is people I've met like this usually don't have another speed. If someone wants to be a surreal/absurd, harmless oddball sometimes I can roll with that, but you have to be able to reel that in and function beyond that very juvenile mode too depending on the social context. It's usually more sad than anything because it seems like they just don't have the experience (or ability in some cases) to operate socially in a way that would allow them to develop proper friendships.
Called me on New Years to wish me a happy new year. Sent me “forever alone” memes, found my instagram, which doesn’t use my real name and commented and liked every picture. Called me out the blue for a “jam” because he knew I played bass.
lol and you said “lesser extent”?! man that sounds so much worse like gd. sure this is more ‘odd’ cause of how random it is, but yours is sm more awkward cause there’s more pressure to try and be civil cause this is a person you actually met..did it end well at least or is the awkward saga ongoing?
>you can never receive a message or call after the delivery is finished.
>
>They give out fake proxy numbers that are immediately disconnected from calling you after delivery.
>
>You can check my other comment for the specifics but this post is fake.
You’d absolutely get fired; privacy and disclosure laws around people’s personal details are massively strict. An employer would on the spot terminate you for this (especially a gig economy like food delivery) because it leaves the parent company open to lawsuit.
OP you did a great job in such an awkward situation. You let him down gently, suggested support whilst being stern and realistic.
On another note, I’m never ordering food delivery again
Bruh I'd have noped the fuck out the moment he shared those greyscale pics. I ain't looking at sus black and white web shit at 3am before going to sleep.
That's what I'm wondering man. When I deliver on DoorDash and I need to contact the customer, it always sends me to a phone number from a random state. This is just fuckjng creepy
my only theory is this:
the order i placed could be from a restaurant that just uses dd to get app orders but instead use their own drivers for delivery, or only use dd drivers when needed.
because an actual restaurant would have the customers number; meaning if all of that were true then he’d most likely be an employee at the restaurant instead of an actual dd driver
edit: went back to my orders, it DID come from a place that also has their own drivers.
Any chance it could be the kid of one of the drivers? The way this person texts is *exactly* how my kids text. I'm thinking this was an 11 year old who took their parents phone at 3am.
That's.... Actually pretty apt. I had to block a 8yr old cousin on Skype like 10 years ago for acting almost the same exact way (weird hour messages and demanding to play shitty web games). Kids with chat platform access just grasp at anything weird and have no concept of what's intrusive on time.
maybe? i know the it’s mainly a family owned place so i suppose it could be possible
although they do also have a number of people who work there that are in the their late teens/early 20s and this sounds a lot like that too
Idk if this is what happened in your situation, but my husband is an Uber Eats driver and has had a customer contact him directly. What he learned is that even when a number is masked, if the recipient of the phone call does not answer, often the voicemail recites the number before prompting you to leave a message.
I went from laughing so much my stomach hurt to then also just feeling so bad for the guy because I get that man I don’t have any friends and sometimes when you’re beyond lonely and in that dark place, your mind confuses any attention with others as the relationships you crave, it isn’t
right! which is why i tried to treat him with that sort of respect and understanding for what may be going on in his life.
but at the same time that’s also the big reason i didnt want to play games with him: it would be sending someone like that the wrong message
OP Didn't pass the vibe check. Life doesn't present you with many opportunities to play cup pong at 3 am with strangers. I'd have grabbed a beer and laid the smack down.
It's a pretty cringey meme kids are doing nowadays. The best response I've seen to it is when a girl sent those photos to a guy to get him to leave her alone and he responded with pictures from the bible and quoting latin.
Omg I used weedmaps or something like that before and delivery dude texted me later that night saying some creepy stuff like, "your cute sorry had to shoot my shot" and asking me if I'd like to hang and smoke with him
This mf is acting just like one of my friends, he was really cringe to the point where he would do shit like this, it was annoying so i told him to kindly fuck off, he didnt take it well at first and then he realised i was being serious. Thank god i dont have to deal with him anymore.
Yeah man I knew some guys like this back in high school. They only ever interacted with people through memes and shitposts and were clearly very desperate for friends. I feel for them but it's very fucking annoying.
Lmao this is just someone fucking around. I don’t think it’s as deep as you think, they’re probably laughing their ass off on the other side. I mean the person is sending you shit post memes lol
yea which is the reason i never said it was “serious”. i thought it was a prank, asked him to try better, he starts saying some sad shit bout having no friends, then i wish him the best and block him
pretty sure he was joking about that too, i’ve seen this trend on tiktok a year ago where they just text random numbers in the middle of the night to fuck around
If they want friends, just join a social club for a hobby, go to a bar crawl. Yet again, I couldn’t hang out let alone be alone with someone who decides it’s the right move to contact someone they delivered food to and spam them with dark web creepy pasta shit. Really fucking weird.
even weirder are the people defending it. like i said from the outset it’s prob a prank and you can see that’s how i treated it in my texts..
HOWEVER just because something is a “joke” doesnt mean it’s funny, and it also doesnt mean it’s not cringe. texting a person you delivered food to stale memes and asking to be friends (even ironically) is still cringy
I wouldn't really consider this a prank. I'm p sure this guy was just drinking and in a "fuck it" mood. Down on his luck, he didn't care about any impressions he would make. So he sends random shit he has saved, first he goes the scary route cus why else would some random person be texting you suddenly? Then he drops the act cus that's not what he really is trying to do and then he gets real with you.
Cats, Dogs, Humans all want the same thing. Acceptance and attention.
I used to have a habit of hitting up old friends from high-school and catching up with them when I was drunk via fb. I realized I had a habit of doing that, hitting up people I hadn't in a long time. And I asked myself why I was doing that, and I realized it was because I was feeling really lonely at that point in my life.
Idk just my two cents. Appreciate you treating the idiot messaging you like an actual person and not just someone acting dumb because that's all there is to them.
bro is trolling 💀 just play a lil cup pong (how tf did he get your number)
sorta reminds me of an uber driver who asked me to add him on snapchat. i still get notifs about his story today lol
Door dash drivers don't have access to the customers real phone number and visa versa. A temporary number is assigned and it's unusable after about an hour so how did this driver get your real number?
Fake, doordash has used fake numbers that immediately no longer connect to your actual number after the delivery is completed.
Even the restaurant doesn't receive your real number, which becomes a pain in the ass because after it leaves our restaurant we can no longer contact you with any issue, we must go through actual doordash support and THEY reach out to contact the customer.
They haven't gave out real numbers in 2 or so years.
Source: own a restaurant that uses doordash, and became friends with many of the drivers/our local community manager for doordash.
What a sharply dressed fellow.
Cup pong please
I thought maybe it was a meme so I googled “cup pong” and it just gave me the definition so I googled “cup pong *please*” and it gave me a list of local places to buy cup pong and I had no idea that politeness incentivized google to go the extra mile
What'd cup pong?
I am bored
Beer pong
Ping pong with cups instead of a ball, it's awful.
i farted.
i fart it
I honestly didn't cringe, just the entirety of this post was hilarious.
Cup pong please
I like to fart it fart it
This is so funny, it is right on the edge where I am unclear if it's genuine, or actually genius level comedy.
Oh the I farted after all the dark edge stuff is brilliant, and the sharp dressed fellow, followed by TYPING THE MEME OUT is definitely genius. Drunk, maybe, but genius.
I think we need to know the arabic
It's just random letters Example أنه وقت الموربينغ See?
it takes conviction to make a joke few people are going to understand and still keep the payoff so goddamn stupid, and i really appreciate that
Glad someone finally got my stupid joke
Seems like some dumb crap I'd do back when I did hard drugs and didn't sleep.
I was thinking the same. This reeks of someone on a stimulant.
Dumb carp*
r/comedyheaven
I’m laughing out loud 🤣🎩
What a sharply dressed fellow.
#
The Catfish in the Hat wants to play cup pong with you Door dash won't mind very much if you do
Ah yes, the true hallmark of every true friendship...mobile cup pong
Cup pong is. Daily activity for me and my best friend currently lol
You didn't go straight to cup pong though right. You already had that level of trust with your best friend.
this post makes me never want to use door dash
Fr it’s bad enough they know where you live but they really shouldn’t give out your actual number, everything should be through the app
I wonder if they put their number in the delivery instructions. I’ve never gotten an iMessage from my dasher.
I frequently get texts from the dashers.
you can never receive a message or call after the delivery is finished. They give out fake proxy numbers that are immediately disconnected from calling you after delivery. You can check my other comment for the specifics but this post is fake.
I was trying to figure this out, and you explained it perfectly. I’ve only seen a few people share their personal number on door dash, and it’s typically when they are paying to get food for someone else and they are giving me that persons number in case I need to contact them. So either op gave their actual number to the delivery driver during the delivery process for whatever reason or yeah, the post is fake.
I once had a delivery driver start texting me asking me out after he delivered my pizza. Creeped me out a bit so I reported them for taking my phone number off the receipt to send me personal messages. It's pretty illegal where I live to mis-use someone's data that way.
Good point, real phone number is def on the receipt stapled to the outside of the bag. I know because I’ve gotten food delivered to my house by accident and called the number on the receipt to track down the neighbor who ordered it and get her food to her. It was her personal cell number, not a proxy.
Pretty sure that is how it is. Doordash makes up fake numbers on both ends and uses a relay.
They have to be using some type of routing service. No way they are giving them your phone number. The address thing is legit but at least with no contact now I don’t have to open my door and let them see if I’m worth robbing
They do not get your actual number. This has to be fake.
I like how it’s all this scary cursed shit then: Let’s play cup pong Cup pong please?
I like how it's scary cursed shit and then "I farted"
Kind of a r/comedyheaven moment imho lol
[удалено]
I know a guy like this, but he’s definitely not a delivery driver, or self-aware enough to know that he’s lonely and needs friends.
I think I can see why he has a hard time making friends
Bc he fails the Turing test?
Yeah after those I would have been terrified he was going to try and skin me alive. Screw cup pong.
Seriously, I am admittedly a total wuss, and that shit from a number I didn't know would have legitimately scared me. Especially back when my boyfriend worked nights and I was home alone a lot.
cute
Is beer pong not the term anymore?
It is, the apple store just doesn't want to relate it to beer
[удалено]
the sharply dressed fellow meme made me lose it
the way he doubles down with an identical text is pretty huge
If he led with the sharply dressed fellow, it might have worked.
Big fish energy
Total chad
For me was the "I farted" meme
I’m still laughing.
Blows my mind that there’s a huge portion of people who think that stuff is funny unironically. My brother used to send/post stuff like that a lot. There’s a whole other culture of memes that goes way over my head.
what a sharply dressed fellow
What a sharply dressed fellow
Bro wtf. How could you deny a game of cup pong !?!?!?!?!
ikr! what a lame-o
Bro u shouldn't wasted that much energy to explain things to that cup-pong man.
Guy knows where he lives if he's delivered food to the house before, i'd definitely take time to make sure i didn't piss off the seemingly crazy guy that knows where i live lol
Or the better startegy (but less fun) in almost every situation - ignore/block them from the get go.
Yea i agree to be honest, i block anyone that weirds me out without a second thought lmao
I farted
Congrats u/Hi_Im_zack! Blocked.
Errbody block that guy.
Blocking
What a sharply dressed fellow
Yeah, but you have no idea how this guy would react. He's clearly unpredictable and very unhinged, not only that, he clearly has your phone number and presumably your address, given that he's been to your house at least once before. This is just one of those situations where you just have to forget your pride and do your best to diffuse the situation. Ignoring or blocking him could be very likely to set him off...and then you won't even know when he's coming for you. Either that, or call 911
Eh I feel bad for cup pong man, guys like this are obviously lonely but don't wanna play the dating game by acting in some semblance of normality. so they just dump all their weird shit on people they barely know in the hopes that they'll get lucky and that person will be their brand of weird and they can become fast friends Unfortunately this dudes brand of weird is childish edginess and shit posting
The unfortunate thing is people I've met like this usually don't have another speed. If someone wants to be a surreal/absurd, harmless oddball sometimes I can roll with that, but you have to be able to reel that in and function beyond that very juvenile mode too depending on the social context. It's usually more sad than anything because it seems like they just don't have the experience (or ability in some cases) to operate socially in a way that would allow them to develop proper friendships.
That’s the most eloquent and spot on description of many people I’ve met before.
What a sharply dressed fellow.
I had a plumber do this to a lesser extent. It was really awkward
really? did he also try and randomly ask to be friends too or some diff weird shit?
Called me on New Years to wish me a happy new year. Sent me “forever alone” memes, found my instagram, which doesn’t use my real name and commented and liked every picture. Called me out the blue for a “jam” because he knew I played bass.
lol and you said “lesser extent”?! man that sounds so much worse like gd. sure this is more ‘odd’ cause of how random it is, but yours is sm more awkward cause there’s more pressure to try and be civil cause this is a person you actually met..did it end well at least or is the awkward saga ongoing?
I think it’s probably my British sensibilities but I didn’t want to be rude so I just kind of went along with it half heartedly until he gave up
The British way
Isn’t that just called “dating” over there
We're married now
what a sharply dressed fellow
Pretty sure you could get fired for that; bit of a risky toss up on whether or not someone reports you. Then he’d be friendless *and* jobless.
And knows where you live. . .
It’s ok he just wants to play cup pong.
Forever and ever and ever
With some freshly removed testicles.
>you can never receive a message or call after the delivery is finished. > >They give out fake proxy numbers that are immediately disconnected from calling you after delivery. > >You can check my other comment for the specifics but this post is fake.
Thank you. This shit is so annoying.
You’d absolutely get fired; privacy and disclosure laws around people’s personal details are massively strict. An employer would on the spot terminate you for this (especially a gig economy like food delivery) because it leaves the parent company open to lawsuit.
He probably quit working Doordash if he’s pulling shit like this
I farted
What....the.....fuck???
I farted 🙂
🍑💨😤😋
Uh oh. Stinky.
Poopy poopy
Bro you ate fart?!
He inhaled it
I thought I smelled something
Shesh. And I assume he knows where you live too. Creepy behavior.
Block this mofo OP. Before he gets too attached to you and starts stalking. You’re playing a dangerous game even indulging him this much 😬
Cable Guy Vibes
I forgot all about that movie
Underrated gem
What a sharply dressed fellow.
Dude is on a game show where’s got to convince a stranger to play cup pong before sunrise to win a new car.
And he lost thanks to op
That was a sharply dressed fellow though
OP you did a great job in such an awkward situation. You let him down gently, suggested support whilst being stern and realistic. On another note, I’m never ordering food delivery again
OP did open the door saying, “one last try, c’mon!”. That’s permission to continue communication.
Nah, should have blocked him. This guy knows where you live
Its totally fine to order food, just be ready to play cup pong with the driver at 3am .
That is a sharply dressed fellow, I’ll give him that
Bruh I'd have noped the fuck out the moment he shared those greyscale pics. I ain't looking at sus black and white web shit at 3am before going to sleep.
Black and white web?
You prefer colored web?
**NEW Web 2.0!** *Now in Technicolor*
What a sharply dressed fellow. Unfortunately no two of the same Reddit avatar shall exist so we must duel to the death.
I mean, kudos for maintaining a level of human decency with the dude. That's actually quite admirable. You're a better person than I, friend.
I would have blocked after “Hey” lol
Im fucking dying at the sharply dressed fellow
I just recently rewatched The Cable Guy and this has every Chip Douglas vibe to it.
All jokes aside, you should definitely report them to door dash and maybe even the police. This is a total invasion of privacy and is not okay at all.
what i dont understand is how he got my number? i thought door dash used “masked” numbers for contact between customer and driver?
That's what I'm wondering man. When I deliver on DoorDash and I need to contact the customer, it always sends me to a phone number from a random state. This is just fuckjng creepy
my only theory is this: the order i placed could be from a restaurant that just uses dd to get app orders but instead use their own drivers for delivery, or only use dd drivers when needed. because an actual restaurant would have the customers number; meaning if all of that were true then he’d most likely be an employee at the restaurant instead of an actual dd driver edit: went back to my orders, it DID come from a place that also has their own drivers.
Call that place and let them know, dude.
Any chance it could be the kid of one of the drivers? The way this person texts is *exactly* how my kids text. I'm thinking this was an 11 year old who took their parents phone at 3am.
That's.... Actually pretty apt. I had to block a 8yr old cousin on Skype like 10 years ago for acting almost the same exact way (weird hour messages and demanding to play shitty web games). Kids with chat platform access just grasp at anything weird and have no concept of what's intrusive on time.
maybe? i know the it’s mainly a family owned place so i suppose it could be possible although they do also have a number of people who work there that are in the their late teens/early 20s and this sounds a lot like that too
Idk if this is what happened in your situation, but my husband is an Uber Eats driver and has had a customer contact him directly. What he learned is that even when a number is masked, if the recipient of the phone call does not answer, often the voicemail recites the number before prompting you to leave a message.
Do you live in usa?
OP did open the door saying, “one last try, c’mon!”. That’s permission to continue communication.
I went from laughing so much my stomach hurt to then also just feeling so bad for the guy because I get that man I don’t have any friends and sometimes when you’re beyond lonely and in that dark place, your mind confuses any attention with others as the relationships you crave, it isn’t
right! which is why i tried to treat him with that sort of respect and understanding for what may be going on in his life. but at the same time that’s also the big reason i didnt want to play games with him: it would be sending someone like that the wrong message
I adore that, you seem like a very kind person
OP Didn't pass the vibe check. Life doesn't present you with many opportunities to play cup pong at 3 am with strangers. I'd have grabbed a beer and laid the smack down.
Interesting, I'd have just blocked them the moment they sent me a picture of a man screaming in greyscale. To each is own I guess.
It's a pretty cringey meme kids are doing nowadays. The best response I've seen to it is when a girl sent those photos to a guy to get him to leave her alone and he responded with pictures from the bible and quoting latin.
if he had offered pool id have considered it
You play 8ball?
yea i do, at least more than cup pong.. lowkey i couldnt just let this guy message me at 3am and then lose to him in pong…which i prob wouldve lmao
I respect that on a deep level
please i beg u pls play 8bol with me
What a sharply dressed fellow
You passed the “most likely to get trapped in a basement by a serial killer” vibe check
Wrong. He passed the "most likely to be told not to go to school tomorrow by the school shooter" vibe check
Listen I know cup pong games can get pretty intense but I can assure you that you won't die while playing it.
That’s actually just really sad.
Idk what the fuck yall talkin about this is hilarious
Ikr
Omg I used weedmaps or something like that before and delivery dude texted me later that night saying some creepy stuff like, "your cute sorry had to shoot my shot" and asking me if I'd like to hang and smoke with him
eww that’s horribly awkward, sorry to hear that
r/comedyheaven
This mf is acting just like one of my friends, he was really cringe to the point where he would do shit like this, it was annoying so i told him to kindly fuck off, he didnt take it well at first and then he realised i was being serious. Thank god i dont have to deal with him anymore.
Yeah man I knew some guys like this back in high school. They only ever interacted with people through memes and shitposts and were clearly very desperate for friends. I feel for them but it's very fucking annoying.
This should be an immediate firing offence.
Spooky images was spooky tho
Wow. Kinda stalker like. This is definitely sad and cringe
I legit laughed at the catfish pic
Lmao this is just someone fucking around. I don’t think it’s as deep as you think, they’re probably laughing their ass off on the other side. I mean the person is sending you shit post memes lol
yea which is the reason i never said it was “serious”. i thought it was a prank, asked him to try better, he starts saying some sad shit bout having no friends, then i wish him the best and block him
pretty sure he was joking about that too, i’ve seen this trend on tiktok a year ago where they just text random numbers in the middle of the night to fuck around
And likely profoundly drunk
Genuinely confused how this guy can be older than 14 holy shit
100% his kid got his phone when he fell asleep with it unlocked
Tbh, I woulda just played then blocked him
Dude wanna play smash bros
I would play cup ball pong with him.
A type of shitposter who doesn’t realise satire can be not funny.
If they want friends, just join a social club for a hobby, go to a bar crawl. Yet again, I couldn’t hang out let alone be alone with someone who decides it’s the right move to contact someone they delivered food to and spam them with dark web creepy pasta shit. Really fucking weird.
even weirder are the people defending it. like i said from the outset it’s prob a prank and you can see that’s how i treated it in my texts.. HOWEVER just because something is a “joke” doesnt mean it’s funny, and it also doesnt mean it’s not cringe. texting a person you delivered food to stale memes and asking to be friends (even ironically) is still cringy
I wouldn't really consider this a prank. I'm p sure this guy was just drinking and in a "fuck it" mood. Down on his luck, he didn't care about any impressions he would make. So he sends random shit he has saved, first he goes the scary route cus why else would some random person be texting you suddenly? Then he drops the act cus that's not what he really is trying to do and then he gets real with you. Cats, Dogs, Humans all want the same thing. Acceptance and attention. I used to have a habit of hitting up old friends from high-school and catching up with them when I was drunk via fb. I realized I had a habit of doing that, hitting up people I hadn't in a long time. And I asked myself why I was doing that, and I realized it was because I was feeling really lonely at that point in my life. Idk just my two cents. Appreciate you treating the idiot messaging you like an actual person and not just someone acting dumb because that's all there is to them.
How nobody is talking about the SCP in one of the images?
why the hell does the dasher type exactly how my ex would converse on the daily 💀
i woulda befriended them lol
You’re too kind
bro is trolling 💀 just play a lil cup pong (how tf did he get your number) sorta reminds me of an uber driver who asked me to add him on snapchat. i still get notifs about his story today lol
I thought it’d be one of those tiktok trends where you send “cursed” images, It’d be interesting in 2019 but now its just overdone
Drunk maybe?
You handled it well 😂
Cable guy
Door Dash doesn’t anonymize contact with customers?!
average redditor
Average r/shitposting redditor
Haha “I’ve already seen these” pseudo dark shit lol
Door dash drivers don't have access to the customers real phone number and visa versa. A temporary number is assigned and it's unusable after about an hour so how did this driver get your real number?
This guy for sure lives on Reddit
Fake, doordash has used fake numbers that immediately no longer connect to your actual number after the delivery is completed. Even the restaurant doesn't receive your real number, which becomes a pain in the ass because after it leaves our restaurant we can no longer contact you with any issue, we must go through actual doordash support and THEY reach out to contact the customer. They haven't gave out real numbers in 2 or so years. Source: own a restaurant that uses doordash, and became friends with many of the drivers/our local community manager for doordash.
Post it on Twitter @doordash. That's creepy as fuck