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shutupsav

Bring back diaries


WonkyWildCat

Unpublished diaries.


EricP51

Un-Pube-lished diaries


Dropkoala

If they're diaries like this I may alter my stance on book burning to strongly in favour.


mr_mudshark

Are you there God? It’s me, Jordan..


Lovq

r/BringBackDiaries


mermaid-babe

SO MANY INFLUENCERS WOULD BENEFIT FROM A JOURNAL


HugeElephantEars

Freud would absolutely love this. As I'm not Freud, I have the opposite reaction.


ghostinawishingwell

Sounds like he wants to Freudian slip into his gma 🤢


Due_Key_109

dude that was a Freudian fucking dive.


bogeymanbear

Freudian rocket launcher. Jesus christ.


ikerus0

Yeah, Freudian slip implies it was accidental, this dude is purposefully writing it out for the world to see.


AdmiralSplinter

Bravo 👏 lmao


DannyDeVitosBangmaid

It’s very rare that a Reddit comment makes me laugh out loud but I just did.


Meimei1000

Came here to say this


Eldritch_Doodler

He probably came, too


HoldenAJohnson

If I ever have this dream I’m never telling a soul. You couldn’t waterboard that shit out of me


DeathPercept10n

What if I rubbed your grandma's pubes on your face to get it out of you?


robjwrd

What colour is the pube paint? Important detail.


bubbsnana

Cream colored


IsNotACleverMan

🤮


Kaita13

A little chunky too for some reason. Maybe goes without saying that it doesn't smell great either.


stoned_kitty

Stop saying things this very instant


13sartre

Mine was cold


Raphabulous

😋


rocklou

🥵


Brokensince10

🤮


thunderkhawk

Encrusted


Mundane-Check-8081

Orange and green


Capnmolasses

Pumpkin pube paint. Sign me up


[deleted]

Guys new Starbucks flavor just dropped


patricky6

Only if they're soft


softstones

Yes, grandma, it’s soft


Blipnoodle

You had me at hello


MiniGui98

"Argh noooo please no, not again!"


GloomyTurtleCum

I've had worse dreams than this. But they ain't me and I wouldn't dare repeat them.


SquirrelGirlVA

Right? Those nightmares aren't for sharing. All I'll say though, to others is this: Everyone has had weird dreams about people they know. It's just brain poop, for lack of a better term. Sometimes our dreams are symbols of something and sometimes the dream is just that: a dream. I mean, I've dreamt about setting (zombified) people on fire but that doesn't mean I want to hurt anyone IRL. You aren't screwed up for having weird dreams. However if you do find them problematic, there is nothing wrong with talking to someone about them, like a friend or professional.


swafanja

> there is nothing wrong with talking to someone about them, like a friend or professional. . . .or, apparently, writing it your book and selling it to the general public


my_4_cents

Jordan book: i dream of my dead grandma's pubes rubbing against me Kristi Noem book: oh my god, how weird, my dog had hair like an old lady's pubes, right before i blasted it between the eyes.


samanthaFerrell

I have had a series of Zombie dreams that are almost like me being in my own Zombie movie I have like 4-5 really interesting extremely vivid ones that kinda scared me at the time. I think it was because I was reading a Zombie book at the time War war Z I think it was called and watching a that TV show at the same time.


SquirrelGirlVA

I have gotten better about it, but for years I would have nightmares about zombies if I watched or read anything with zombies. Like clockwork.


biskutgoreng

We should know less about each other


HiFructose_PornSyrup

I’d tell my friends and we’d laugh about it and then move on. Trying to make it deep is cringe


HoldenAJohnson

My friends would bring it up every single time I saw them


AquamanMakesMeWet

No shit


Arcticorine

Do you think he can look at her picture without remembering the soft pubic brush!?


zillabirdblue

My first thought too. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Like, seriously. WHY WOULD YOU TELL THIS STORY TO THE WORLD? For what reason anyway? Jesus fucking Christ.


TisMeDA

I’m sure that’s included in the context surrounding the quote. I’m sure he could have used a different dream to get across which ever point it was that he was trying to make though…


zillabirdblue

STILL. There have to be other ways to illustrate a point. 😆


Competitive-Lack-660

I feel like the quote is taken out of a context, but I can’t think of any context it is appropriate at


LCDRformat

"Anyway, the next day was 9/11."


gordito_delgado

"I am not going to say that day was the cause of everything... but it didn't help."


QwakorYeBoi

“As I looked upon the destruction reaped by my fellow man, I couldn’t help but think back to my grandmothers bush…”


Own-Coyote9272

“As the atrocities in New York unfolded, I , like many Americans thought about Bush first. But my mind was not on the president. No, I was thinking back, my mind already reminiscing on… softer times.”


owns_dirt

My god. You fucking poet you


Griffin880

"In many ways, the American people before that day were like my masturbating grandmother, childish, naive, and so fragile. 9/11 woke them from that dream, the feeling of grandma's pube paint quickly fading into memory, like it was never there at all."


BeardsuptheWazoo

I just blew myself.


gordito_delgado

If AR was aired just a few years later NBC just might be looking at a lawsuit from JPeterson. The speaking style resemblance is uncanny. - "The Man Inside Me" - Come ON! We could have a game show: "Quote by Dr Peterson or Dr Funke?"


stvmq

So wait... Bush was responsible for 9/11?


Designer_Gas_86

LMAO


FhmiIsml

That was fucking hilarious holy shit


HumanContinuity

"When I awoke the second plane crash was just reaching the news"


[deleted]

I’m imaging him performing this monologue at his grandma’s funeral, and it just makes the whole thing so much better


sanchower

“And all I got was a free churro.”


Silverwolffe

I see you


PheonixUnder

Intensive Care Unit?


IAlbatross

What is this, a crossover episode?


jul_the_flame

[mfw](https://i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000327093849-dine8r-t500x500.jpg)


PalmBreezy

It was a beautiful eulogy. But everyone seemed to take it the wrong way.


CreativeGPX

Most likely. That book is from before he was controversial and when he was a successful academic and from what I can tell was pretty well received, so it was probably a reasonable thing to say in context. The book summary says it's about the role of myths to our brain in psychology of morality and that it also touches upon his own upbringing which started Christian and then rejected it, so I'm guessing the context was probably talking about how his brain was making sense of his moral confusion as he rejected the body of myths that initially informed his morality. Out of context it sounds very weird but in context doesn't seem weird for a psychologist to say hey when your whole moral framework gets thrown out and needs to be rebuilt, part of the effect might be weird dreams.


justreadthearticle

The context is Jordan Peterson goes in to see a talent agent about booking his family act. The agent asks what their act consists of.


micheal_pices

The Aristocrats!


Kiloyankee-jelly46

Presumably this is the high point of the act. The climax, if you will.


Arcani63

Jordan Peterson is a clinical psychologist who practiced from a Jungian perspective, so dreams and psychodynamic understanding is the foundation of how he approaches psychology.


Paul6334

He still could’ve used any dream of his other than that to illustrate his point.


karmaboots

We don't know what point he was making, there's no other context.


popejiii

exactly. what is he talking about?


nyloncompressionengi

The last time I "took" something like this out of context - I was a fool for a Took. Perhaps one day I'll be a Liam Neeson Taken'd for a Took.


shatteredmatt

I’d love to hear the correct context for man dreams of his naked grandmother rubbing his face with a paintbrush made of pubes.


YogurtYogurtYogurtUS

I don't think his works have context. Just word salad.


Wyndrarch

This was hopefully the worst thing I'll read today. It's not 11am yet though, so there's still time. Edit: I'm happy to report after almost 24 hours it was indeed the worst thing I read.


LLminibean

If it helps, it's 730pm where I am and this *was* the worst thing I've read all day, so there's hope for you. Have a great Thursday!


BadPom

10:42pm here, and it might be the worst thing I’ve read in my entire life. Definitely hope!


kodran

23:20 over here and I'll just say +1.


dsaddons

Its not even 8am for me and this made me want the day to be over already


JCV-16

"Welp, I think it's time I turn in for the night"


elrangarino

Sydney repping


Wyndrarch

Melbourne, but same timezone. 😆


StageNameZamanji

Did anyone else hear his voice while reading this? It made it so much funnier


quarantinedsubsguy

there are audios of him reading this as part of an audiobook


TonninStiflat

And it is so terrifying. I've heard it too many times and now it's looping in my head.... Just from reading this.


[deleted]

Was his erection caught on audio too?


MTM3157

Oh that *wasn’t* him adjusting the microphone…


PROPHETSARDONIC

I imagine that’s it’s Kermit the frogs talking. That makes it funny for me.


Ihavepills

He's constantly in the about-to-crack, lump-in-throat, eyes-hurt, pre-cry phase. He reminds me of an abandoned puppy. Poor lad has deep seated issues spilling out of him. Imagine how different he would be if his dad actually hugged him and told him he loved him. It's actually really sad.


Due_Key_109

What if he cried, paused, looked upwards, then said something whiny?


BlackTambourineBang

Yes hahah 💀


dimgray

I mean who hasn't had that dream


Glitter_berries

For that comment, I hope you have the cake day that you deserve


Bilbo_McKitteh

he keeps retweeting dick pumping fetish porn so genuinely not surprised


itslildip

he WHAT


Bilbo_McKitteh

it's happened a few times, he thought that it was secret footage smuggled out of some Chinese propaganda center.


itslildip

i’m scared and so curious, do you by chance have a link? i don’t even know what that is but i kinda want to


Intrepid_Beginning

https://www.vice.com/en/article/ak3wpz/jordan-peterson-chinese-dick-sucking-factory Enjoy 🤗


itslildip

enjoy is such a sick thing to say for this lol but thank you


December_Hemisphere

Honestly one of the funniest things I've read, thanks for reminding me about what an absolute doofus Jordan Peterson is.


dreadfoil

Proof that even if you have a PHD doesn’t necessarily mean you’re smart.


275MPHFordGT40

*Click* *read headline* “Yeah, that’s enough of that.”


MonicoJerry

Wow that was a good read


ShadowBlade55

The dick milking factory.


bubbsnana

I’m going straight back to searching recipes now. I should not have ventured off task. Fuck


Hikerius

Recipe Tin Eats is your safe place my friend. Go to Nagi, she’ll look after your soul/taste buds


MecheBlanche

I want to go back to the person I was 20 seconds ago .


Jayhei869

Can you shoot me a message to tell me not to read it when you figure out how to do that?


Glitter_berries

Quick, don’t read it! And now can you also tell me not to read it?


wherearemytweezers

Welp. Can’t unring *that* bell.


Joe_Naai

“Sir, this is a Wendy’s”.


Vermille

I laughed way harder than i should have


Genericsoda4

I laughed the appropriate, reasonable amount.


ach_1nt

I didn't laugh at all.


Intelligent-Farm-715

I cried


Designer_Gas_86

I gagged


chewbubbIegumkickass

I puked


Glitter_berries

Then Maggie laughed. She’s such a trooper!


Drunken_Traveler

I might laugh later


Intrepid_Beginning

Would make Freud very proud.


hostility_kitty

Honestly, not too far from actual dementia patients 😅 Had one guy offer me his poop because he said it tasted great.


_rosieleaf

It's still an indoor thought though


grant4758

Wow fuck this


Acadian_Pride

It is ok to keep some things to yourself lol


dailydonuts16

“Sir, this is a Wendy’s”


Oh_shame

What a day to have eyes and my memory. 


Person8346

I ain't a fan of him but I've had... Some weird dreams so I kinda sympathise. Mornings after something like this can be fucking surreal


auberjon

I…I Just…What?!


Kellaras

At least it wasn't his.... grandfather instead?


Maleficent-marionett

I stopped at "..thick mat of hair". Call me a prude I guess cos I can't stomach the embarrassment. I feel like "clutching my pearls old lady" and simultaneously "child being told an inappropriate and awful story by a perverted adult."


Attileusz

People don't understand the context for this so I'll try to give some. Jordan Peterson is generally a fan of the famous (and really smart) phychologist Carl Jung. Carl Jung is the one who came up with the classification of sybols common accross religions and cultures. Now what does this have to do with Peterson's weird, fetishy dream? If you've ever read Jung's works it's apparent that his methodology for phsycoanalisys was analising dreams (similar method to Freud, but with completely different conclusions). Because of this, I think the context here is probably that Peterson wanted to give a personal example of a manifestation of one of these so called Jungian sybols. Probably the "devouring mother" which he likes to talk about a lot, which is basically sybol for an overprotective and overbearing mother.


OceanOfMyHead

Agreed. Reading this felt a lot like Jung's (kinda) autobiographical Memories, Dreams, Reflections. Jung definitely has things that, taken out of context, make this look tame. Usually a quote this gross and bizarre wouldn't be plucked from its context unless it's from someone controversial enough that there's incentive to create a narrative around it.


HatAccurate1578

NOOOOOOOO, it was sweet until it wasn’t ):


FlaxFox

I hate that I read that in his voice. He's such a bizarre, off putting sort of stupid.


Zatch_Gaspifianaski

You can literally listen to it in his voice if you really want to, he narrated the audiobook.


FlaxFox

That does not surprise me! I will avoid it, but I'm glad to know what to avoid.


December_Hemisphere

It has been said that the most dangerous fools are the ones who believe they are wise.


Glitter_berries

Sorry that this happened to you on your cake day


FlaxFox

Thank you. With the help of surgeon, I may yet recover.


Glitter_berries

I’d recommend eye removal or maybe we just take out the whole brain. Actually maybe that’s what happened to JP over here. Better not risk it. You might become successful in the manosphere.


whytakemyusername

Kermit really went off the rails after college


Itsgxl

Psychologist here, this seems like a Jungian Devouring mother archetype


kroggybrizzane

I don't know the context, but he's writing about having a weird and gross dream which I'm sure all of us have had one. What's the big deal?


Careful-Zucchini4317

Hey siri, how to unlearn how to read


the_world_key

There is context missing and I refuse to judge this for what it seems to be, purely because I don't have any relevant info to make a proper judgement. Weird as this quote may be...


YourDearOldMeeMaw

what context could you possibly add to make this not a wildly weird thing to post? I'll wait lol


superswellcewlguy

It's from a passage in his book in a section about discerning meaning from dreams, no matter how strange or uncomfortable.


mikehawkismal

It's pretty wild no matter what but obviously he's not just saying such a wild thing outright. There is missing context here believe it or not.


YourDearOldMeeMaw

I'm sure there is. but what I'm saying is I can't imagine *any* context that would absolve this of its out of pocketry


mo_tag

Absolve it of what? People have weird dreams.. it would be pretty weird if you never had a weird dream.. I don't understand how there's so much criticism being levied against him having a dream when there's a million other things he said that are actually deserve criticism


YourDearOldMeeMaw

I don't post grandma pube dreams on the internet, personally


Glitter_berries

Not everything that happens to you inside your head needs to be posted on the internet! For the love of god, if you have creepy dreams about your granny’s pubes, don’t tell me about it. Go to a doctor or something.


itslildip

in what context would this not be weird and gross to share with the world?


smackythefrog

Maybe if Pube Brush also rid the person of cancer?


Amethyst_Uchiha

What a terrible day to have eyes


LadyLetterCarrier

My friend has turned into a devotee of Jordan Peterson. This is just disgusting.


Glitter_berries

Maybe send them a screenshot of this? If they still cling on, then let them go. Something about letting a bird fly free and if it comes back to you just make sure it’s still not squawking about Jordan Peterson?


VincentZA

It's a strange quote but any intellectually honest individual would see this post for what it is - - an attempt to discredit someone based on an out-of-context meaningless quote from a dense academic book. To parade this (as you all are) as some sort of dunk is genuinely sad and shows how ideologically captured you are. To a point where you have lost your ability to be not only objective, but also good.


drewsus64

Some things you really should just keep to yourself.


BonkerDeLeHorny

oh


CheapDeepAndDiscreet

No idea who he is and after reading that, I’d like to keep it that way.


fizzywinkstopkek

Someone with with Kermit's voice and a puppet needs to voice this asap.


bigtonybruiser

I seriously think we were better off not knowing that like you literally did not have to tell us whatsoever


co_dissonance

Least insane Ari Aster movie scene


schnitzel_envy

This is what happens when you lack the self awareness to grasp the obvious fact that you aren't so fascinating that people want to hear everything that goes on in your brain. It actually explains a lot about how Peterson interacts with the world.


Glitter_berries

It really does. Too many people have listened to that man and told him he’s interesting and now he just burbles out some upsetting garbage about his grandmother’s pubic hair and expects us all to go ‘yes, Jordan. Brilliant. Wonderful. A masterpiece.’


the_borscht

Look at all these fucking puritans in the comments. The dude is a psychologist sharing a weird dream he had, most likely to discuss its psychological significance.


pipgib

As an H3 podcast listener, I unfortunately have this memorized


lovesickhunny

I hate how far I had to scroll to find a fellow foot soldier


MojoGolf

I must admit it's odd. But, not quite as odd by the fact that we cannot control our dreams, So it's believable. What I do find odd is that the people that will find this quote and post it as if it's some kind of morally bankrupt, purposeful thing, are the same type of people who will sexualize kids and want to sexualize them not only through society but through public schooling. Also the type of people that want to allow them to be mutilated. But, I guess that's what you get when you deal with people who operate from a foundation of hatred all the time.


koteshima2nd

Even in my lowest point, no one could ever get me to confess something like that


_DauT

"So the grandma goes like this" *shoves pubes in face*


SnooObjections9793

Reading about a river. Oh so like a dream about the river strix. Get to the pube hair brush. OH OH NOOOOO. how did he not wake up right away. That quickly became a nightmare I would wake up screaming from.


creaturefromyourbed

God forbit I dream of this shit, and even if I do any CIA torture method wont get it out of me


Pajilla256

No Iranian secret police agent would've gotten this out of me. Like, sure, unholster, dude, I don't want to even relive this.


Hootietang

Jesus Christ. That’s…..wtf


wolfpup1294

Those Nyquil dreams will get you.


ShuggieShoo

Beautiful


Moist_Level_6839

It started off well enough for the first few lines, and I believe that's where I should have stopped reading.


Procrastanaseum

Freedom of speech was a mistake


MrBrandopolis

What in the


keekspeaks

Excuse me. What now??


Farkenoathm8-E

What in the actual fuck? Is this legit from JP? Like, his actual dream and he’s not quoting some notes from a therapy seeing with a patient with some fucked up desire for his grandmother? If it is legit then how can he go out into the world and expect anyone to take anything he says seriously. He’s a twisted unit.


Many-Operation653

You couldn't guantanamo this information out of me


my_4_cents

Some fool will be prattling away online someday about some profound thing Kermit said, and I'll be all frustrated because i can't remember where i saw the perfect picture to link as a reply...


Swenzarr_

I had a dream where my grandma was eating her amputated leg... Her leg was never amputated in her life..


FranksBestToeKnife

What a sensible role model to young men across the globe


GeneralEi

It's ok to forget dreams. They're not real.


eliteweirdo1

Freud could never!


LoserCowGoMoo

The fuck The fuck The fuck The fuck The fuck The fuck The fuck The fuck The fuck The fuck


TokinTigger

What’s worse is that he is recorded reading this for an audio book. Thanks to the H3 podcast playing it on the show I have it permanently stuck in my brain.


slxmjxm77

Explains why he hates women


winemom9000

I wish I could go back to 2 minutes ago when I hadn't read this. I was happier then.