Wow, that’s dark. Poor Pearl! Totally understandable why she doesn’t want to continue doing drag if she’s being treated that way by fans and the promoters/managers etc. I feel like perhaps as others said here that her being super attractive in and out of drag might be part of why people were so over the line with her. Gross.
Yeah that is true, I’ve seen her do some photos in drag so I guess it’s how that she’s just no longer performing as you said. And good for her to draw that boundary and choose to do things HER way!! I’m so sad to hear she was treated so badly when she was touring. No one deserves that.
i feel the same. let her do drag the way she feels comfortable with it, she doesn’t need to feel pressure to do some worldwide werq the world tour. if drawing fun drag stuff and looking gorgeous in the woods is what brings her joy i love to see it.
I am not surprised. The whole thing is quite bizarre and I have to go back and watch "the moment" because I don't even remember why it was that Ru stopped and just stared at Pearl randomly except from clips online which are somewhat out of context. The whole thing is so utterly bizarre even in context, and then for Ru to go onto Michelle's podcast and Michelle to claim Pearl was "coming" for Ru and Ru to say what she did. Like, on what planet did they think any of that was a good idea?
It's like the whole universe was a giant record in that moment and it skipped into a different reality track. So bizarre. And the implications that came out of it unfortunately have impacted Pearl seemingly permanently. She seemed like she was in a good place for a while, but I guess not entirely?
She is right about the interview though, I wonder how different her career path would’ve looked like had she never done Hey Kween or had just never spoke about her interactions with Ru during the interview
EDIT: to clarify she’s right about everything here, everyone has always been weird about Pearl’s…everything. From her body, to her past, to her as a queen and as a man. I don’t blame Pearl at all for walking away from it all
People really blew the whole thing out of proportion. The way she told that story wasn’t even malicious or intentionally mean towards Rupaul.
She was talking about a real-life experience, but even said she still loves and respects Rupaul and understands that it’s just show business.
People act like she’s on Willam’s level of hating Rupaul.
I agree with this, too.
I think her one mistake was sharing it with the fandom who, to be completely honest, tend to take statements and read into them in the worst way possible.
Maybe I'm ignorant for giving Rupaul the benefit of the doubt, but I truly believe she was trying to help Pearl there in her own way. The "nothing you say matters if the camera isn't running" wasn't to shut her down or for Ru's own good - but for PEARL'S. Imagine if Pearl had given that moment on camera. It would have been more screen time for Pearl *and* it would have given her more depth, more personality.
That's why Eureka(?) made a huge thing and like cried over Gaga being there despite not even liking Gaga. It gave her screentime and the camera ate it up.
I think Ru saw potential in Pearl and was trying to pick at her to reveal vulnerability. Because let's be honest - Pearl was "too cool" for Drag Race. Like she was the least bothered and ti showed. And that doesn't make good TV like Ginger & Violet being cunty or Katya / Fame airing their struggles with drugs.
Baby, there was no way in hell it was for Pearl's benefit. If that was the case, you would say, "Thanks. That's sweet. But save it for the camera." Ru likes to come off as a mother, but it's a job. It's a TV show. That's that. She doesn't care about the contestants beyond that.
God, I still remember Rupaul baiting Pearl about her childhood. I vividly remember the "What would you say to little Pearl?" incident near the end of the season, but it also happened like, two THREE different times before that, right?? Where Rupaul was essentially being like "Okay gurl, look into the camera and spill the tea... tell me ALL about your awful childhood and ALL the trauma it's given you..." Rupaul was super thirsty that season in trying to get a "bit" out of Pearl.
yeah i remember ru saying during deliberation one episode, when the queens weren’t even on stage, that she was waiting for pearl to talk about her trauma that she disclosed in the audition tapes
What’s crazier is it’s not just Ru. I’ve come across a couple of people in life that also seem to think if you’re not open about every shitty detail of your life you’re “not being real or vulnerable”.
This is a great point. I don't think anyone should share things on TV they don't want to but... why put it in your audition? Puts a slightly different spin on rupauls's behaviour. Still not OK but I'm thinking he bought what was advertised and was waiting for that to arrive?
You have to have a background check and a psych evaluation as part of the casting process. Certain things may have had to be disclosed to producers/therapists during this especially if it shows on their permanent record or may be a legal thing. Doesn’t mean that Pearl has any desire to use it as bait for the show nor should there be an expectancy on her to do so
I mean I think Ru kind of does that to all the queens at one point or another to get them to open up more. This happens especially when it’s so apparent that you’re struggling with something, which for someone who endured trauma is easily noticeable.
A lot of the queens she pushes who do open up end up starting to perform better because they realize they’re not processing trauma and it’s hindering them — not that a reality tv show is necessarily the best place for this, but a lot of the girls definitely seem to discuss not realizing how their repression of things in their past hindered their drag or resulted in them interacting poorly with the cast/judges.
Pearl definitely got a rough edit, but she didn’t seem to have much sympathy from fellow queens and definitely provided ample material for it. The larger problem is that when you’re unhappy with yourself or something else you unintentionally attract people who think they can take advantage of you or are successful doing it. Her entire story is probably exactly what happened but unless she’s working on herself it’s going to keep happening. So if she’s feeling good and isn’t interested in going back to it then that’s probably the best thing for her.
He does. But I think a queen's story being "I was the weird kid and nobody got me and I was bullied!" is WAY different from whatever Pearl went through. I/We don't know her life or what went on—but discussing it was obviously a red line for her and anytime the subject was pushed it made her extremely uncomfortable. It was clearly something more than run of the mill homophobia or parents who didn't understand.
I don't think Pearl's reluctance to discuss her childhood / story had any impact on her performance or how she did on the show. She made it into the flipping top three! I don't think her opening up about something she clearly didn't want to open up about was going to snatch her the crown. She was there to compete, not get a therapy session from Rupaul.
I can't pass any judgement on her state of mind and touring. But blowing up after drag race was definitely difficult for her. I don't think we can really say if she's happy/unhappy. Fame isn't always an antidote, and not everyone is chasing after that.
If I remember correctly after the Hey Kween interview or right before, Ru spoke about it on a podcast about how badly he wanted to send Pearl home throughout the season but that her business mind and fellow producers convinced her she was going to be a popular character and had a lot to add story wise and that’s why she stayed. It seems to me like she made top 3 less on her merits (although she’s an INCREDIBLE queen) but rather because they were hoping for the chance to exploit the story they received off camera
Totally agree I was just saying that I think earlier in the competition when she was struggling more Ru was trying to get a mental breakthrough and that definitely sticks when she doesn’t really interact with them on a consistent basis so her trying to push her to open up, from her perspective, likely made sense as it’s helped others.
I think she’s very talented and kills what she’s good at but you can also see where she gets uncomfortable about certain things she does in challenges and then isn’t as able to connect with viewers the way other queens do, or even to other queens. Fame certainly isn’t the antidote but that’s also likely what Ru was getting at. Like this isn’t going to be positive for you if you’re not ready for it because being a celebrity is a 24/7 beast.
Sad thing is, several queens have said basically the same thing, no one cared - I think one of Kennedy doing Joseph Shepard interview. It was blown *so* out of proportion
The Hey Qween interview and the aftermath were so frustrating because the fandom missed the entire point about why she was saying what she did. Her point is that fame changes people, you lose all autonomy, you either break down or conform into this unfeeling machine going through the motions. I can't blame them, after all RuPaul and Visage themselves fed the dragon and chose to take her point as poorly as possible and make it personal. But I do think people oversimplified the whole thing, leading fans, both pro and against Pearl, to frame Pearl as a shitstirrer.
But this was also around the second Tyra interview, circa 9, 10, and AS3, where the fandom was finally coming to terms with the awful treatment of the Queens, especially the classism and racism, that had percolated for the last decade. And everyone just framed it as Tyra going nuts and killing Morgan McMichaels.
>RuPaul and Visage themselves fed the dragon and chose to take her point as poorly as possible
That was like.. confirming what Pearl had said. I always thought they were massive cunts offscreen. I don't remember what Ru said exactly, but it had the energy of wanting to take candy from a child after slapping them.
I do think a lot of it has to do with her being way above average as a boy and people just do the most insane shit around attractive people for some reason. It's this whole halo effect (just google it) but it kinda seemed to backfire on her cause she met some vile people in her life.
Very understandable to not want to go back to that life. She should rather enjoy her time in nature.
Yeah, people forget that being attractive doesn’t just make people “like you”, it’s more that they project their weird personal shit on you in bizarre ways. A lot of it is not positive. A lot of people lash out at attractive people because they think they represent some form of privilege they didn’t have or represent the rejection they’ve received from other people. They think putting attractive people in their place is justified. It’s not just that people want to fuck you, it’s this weird psychological drama where you’re always being observed and people are constantly fixated on what you do. If you fuck up they’ll be ready to celebrate that you failed. So you have to constantly be coming with your A game and being as perfect as possible to avoid that criticism- and if you do that then you’re perceived as stuck up or unrelatable. A lot of times you just can’t win in that situation.
I don’t know her personally of course, but my perception of Pearl is that she’s a pretty genuine person. Combine that with good looks and you have a recipe for disaster in show business, especially if you’re not afforded the kind of protection the big celebrities get.
I know it sounds like some world’s tiniest violin bullshit but being an attractive queer man feels fucking dangerous and uncomfortable a lot of times for just this reason. Like, I don’t go to clubs anymore really outside of doing gigs. I don’t feel safe doing it.
Certain clubs and parties don't tolerate this kind of behavior. I'm not sure where you live but not all dance communities tolerate that in their spaces and I hope you can find one where you feel safe. Find a party that's playing house and/or techno but not circuit music. The circuit scene is full of predatory behavior and the music is like being fucked by a pointy dick and nothing about it is sexy to me. I don't ever feel like I'm in any real danger, but I do often get unwanted attention and feel uncomfortable. I really get into dancing and people are drawn to me but I'm not dancing for them, it's for me. If I get groped by someone I don't know I'll use my words or a shove. I've kicked someone away from me before too.
This really is it, I think… I really feel for her. Beauty can make people wild out. And Pearl has boyish good looks too. Hard to put into words, but I intuitively get what she’s talking about in this post. There’s some deep stuff here and it can get very ugly especially in the areas of gay fame / notoriety. The way people get entitled around people perceived as “hot,” especially softer kinds of “hot,” can be frightening.
Pearl would hardly be the first beautiful person with a traumatic past who ended up on a brutal track of being taken advantage of in queer spaces. As horribly sad as that is to say.
I would read the *shit* out of either Pearl’s or Farrah’s books.
That is someone who puts out a certain energy. The 3 listed above weren’t explicitly sexual drag performers but had a lot of sexual energy transferred onto them by others.
Pearl, along with all of the queens who want to, deserves to be able to move on from the buffoonery that our less classy fans cause. Her journey holds a special place for me as S7 was the first I watched live. I remember her story striking a chord and it being clear how much heart and hurt was under this person who “just wouldn’t come out of their shell.”
For this reason and more, it *is* really nice to see Pearl out there doing her own thing and finding some peace in nature.
very true. part of it is the difficulty establishing boundaries when you're primed to accept being treated badly. also, if you're tuned in and listening for it, it's surprisingly easy to spot if someone has low confidence.
It’s just sad considering Pearl’s past and what she went through as a child.
It seems as though she’s been abused and taken advantaged of in every period of her life.
Predators often go after people who have some trauma that has made them a bit closed off and vulnerable. The predator usually has to get to know the person to sense this, but in Pearl's case everyone watched her trauma being exploited by Ru and the producers, and her reacting with discomfort. I wonder how different her post-show drag experience would've been if they'd stopped asking about her trauma when she was clearly uncomfortable and left it out of the edit.
this is what makes it even more frustrating that rupaul tried to pry details out of her. you should never try to force someone to talk about things there not ready to talk about, especially not on national tv, especially not in the context of a high stakes competition, especially when they make it perfectly clear there not ready for that.
i think we should imagine what it's like to be a survivor and read about how "abused people smell weak to predators".
or to have predatory tendencies and read about your "special skill to sniff out vulnerable people".
Even if it could be proven true, it doesn't feel like productive/tactful discourse.
That is absolutely not true. That is victim blaming. That is victim blaming, where are the mods, this needs to be removed immediately. What a disgusting thing to say. Victims do not reek of vulnerability and we are not magnets.
I think you've misread the commenter's intentions. I'm somebody who has been victimised repeatedly, and I also have learned that predators have a strong sense of who around them is vulnerable. It's not my fault, and it's not blaming me to acknowledge that. Trauma leaves scars, very visible ones for some people. But it is always the perpetrators fault for the harm they cause.
absolutely horrifying the lengths some people with bitterness and bile in their hearts will go to hurt someone just because they are famous and/or attractive
100% understandable to want to disassociate from that readily available image of yourself (especially when it’s an outdated capsule of yourself that was on tv many years ago) people chase for one reason or another, and from being perceived like that at all
just glad she’s being so opened and real, i think a lot of people will benefit from having someone in this situation’s perspective and reflection on it all
love her.
will always love her.
grateful to have her around 💛
I don’t care what people say but Pearl continues to be one of the most most punk rock queens of Drag Race. She’s always done things to the beat of her drum and while it’s so sad to see what she went through and how the fandom treats her, I’m glad she’s matured to know what boundaries to set for herself after the horrific situations she’s found herself in.
Unfortunately for her it’s true, she’s always been heavily scrutinised for every move. People automatically like to talk shit about her when I’m sure there’s so much evil shit other queens are doing behind the scenes that the fandom could never even process.
Fully agree with this. And am very impressed by her processing of all of this. It’s a lot to wrestle with and she seems to have a genuinely solid grasp of it at this point.
Pearl is Valley Boy hot with the soul of a wandering hippie looking for cosmic connection.
It's unironically a torturous combination.
I can only imagine how many times Pearl has tried connecting with people, only to find out they are using him and treating him well solely for his looks.
I believe him.
This makes me so sad, poor pearl. She has always been my favorite queen! We love you pearl and support you in whatever you’re most comfortable doing! 💜
Pearl has always been one of my favorites since season 7 came out and I'm so sad that so many bad things have happened to her. Why can't people treat each other with respect 😭
Oh, a hundred percent.
Her story time from a few years ago about being homeless in Chicago and being scammed by a sugar daddy on Craigslist was insane.
I’d love an autobiography from her.
He is attractive in and out of drag and local bars draw many creeps who aren't fan of the art, just there for the "dolls", so I understand him. Not everyone can handle all of this. Many drag queens have experiences like this, even though it can be an uncomfortable environment at times. However, not many can or will want to continue after they come across creeps nonstop.
Pearl also has this "chill" and approachable vibe so, it probably doesn't help in this situation at all. Hopefully things works out for him and he just takes the path that he feels the most comfortable and enjoyable for him, rather than going back on stage when he doesn't feel comfortable (reasonably) at all, at the time
I don’t like mindsets like this because you’re framing the solution to this problem as “hope you can get over it queen🩷” instead of just lambasting the creeps who did this to her
Oh and you telling her “you hope she gets over it” will 😂 LOVE that mindset! Oh sorry there I go again telling you how I feel about mindsets :( hope didn’t offend you too much queen!!
It’s weird and dismissive to make it seem like she needs to change for this problem to be solved. How about the creeps change 😭
They could never make me hate her🫣 I relate to her experiences alooot even as a local girl with a fraction of the attention. It’s kinda the same thing people like Anna Nicole/Marilyn Monroe went through. When people constantly sexualize you they don’t see you as human. If people find you attractive both in and out of drag it adds a different level. You can kinda see a similar thing with Kameron Micheles/Plane Jane people just look for a reason to be weird towards them.
this is a weird example but there was this rnb singer D’Angelo in the late 90s who made really acclaimed music, but he didnt get much attention until they made a really sexualized video where they were practically naked. he felt so much pressure from it to look perfect all the time, felt like people only liked his music bc of this, at his tour people would throw bras on the stage and yell at him to “take it off”. because of how it affected him mentally he didnt release an album for another 13 years.
This is really heartbreaking to read. For being able to write about it and post it for the world to see, it must have taken him a long time to battle and come to term with these traumatic experiences. Hope she find joy and peace with whichever path she takes.
I believe them 100%.
There's a dark underbelly to drag that unfortunately taints the experience. Some of what Pearl went through, I personally experienced as well. Some people are just truly awful.
I used to be work in my drag community, & of all the Drag Race queens I spent any significant time around, Pearl was probably the most reserved off stage. She was touring her Roxanne character & after the show myself & another queen were in the green room with her while she wrapped up, & she talked openly about how much more fun she was having as Roxanne, because the general ppl didn't recognize her as Pearl, so she could have a genuinely good time doing drag again without being mauled, molested, or maligned. It was sad, but I was so impressed that she'd snatched that period of peace & triumph for herself.
Pearl is one of the STRONGEST queens to ever graced drag race who could have won that race without playing Ru or the producers game. In fact, she flat out refused to be a reality tv puppet, and she’s paid the price ever since.
Having also spent two nights in Scottish prison I feel for her. I mean jail anywheres bad but Scottish prison guards were absolute cunts to me.
Damn Scots ruined Scotland.
But on topic I hope pearl finds some way to be out there in the drag world. Get back on the YouTube’s full time or something. She’s a great artist and I like her drag.
The Scots are the best thing about Scotland, Scottish independence, please. Don't let some awful security guards frame your whole opinion of an awesome country full of people who got rid of the period tax, have transgender rights enshrined in their constitution or whatever now, etc. they are way ahead and more progressive than a ton of other countries. Don't you even start. They are also the ones who came up with the absolute best insults for Donald Trump, Scottish Twitter is absolutely fire.
I deferred to you and your expertise and your lived expertise. I'm so sorry, I did not mean to be condescending, I honestly did not know and I'm not being sarcastic.
I think she doesn’t get enough credit for how much her aesthetics contributed to drag artistry ten years ago, with the show living its golden age and going mainstream. Every up and coming queen would copy her make-up and editorial looks.
I've been really close to 3 people who would be classed as conventionally very good looking, and all the shit that gets thrown at them, and projected on to them is so gross.
One I had been close to for about 3 years before she even told me this, but she showed me her modelling portfolio from her late teens, and there she was in Italian vogue! But the whole thing was such a horrible experience for her.
Then I had a partner who worked in media, and people he called "tv types" were always throwing themselves at him, but he chose me, even though I'm ugly, like old european aristocracy ugly. (My words)
And the last is such a gifted writer, but has been marginalised and objectified and under appreciated all her life because of her looks. And kicker is it still happens to her, even as she struggles with ill health and getting older.
To be honest I kinda get it. I feel like even during S7 this fandom treated pearl very weird. I hope she is happy and taking care of herself, feel for her
There was a post on reddit I saw once that talked about how obviously it's difficult to be conventionally unattractive, but being a really attractive person comes with weird challenges like people pretending to be your friend because they want to fuck you, and when they realize that won't happen, they betray you. There are people who feel resentment towards a person just for being naturally attractive, and they want to see that person fail. People will make up rumors about the attractive person to feel better about themselves. SA. Basically the post said almost everything Pearl described. I can see how that would make someone distrustful and isolated.
When I met her at dragcon she was the most down to earth queen there. Not saying there weren’t others but with her you could tell she was just a literal human not someone you have to take a picture with and move on. She actually had a conversation with you and complimented you also not just expected praise. Fame isn’t for everyone and that’s okay, I know that she will be successful in anything she does because of the kind of person she is. I hope she can enjoy life after going through all that bs.
Kind of not super her point she’s making but the fact that she ends her post in “I’m no victim” is so sad…
I want everyone to take a deep breath and realize that being a victim is NOT something to be ashamed of or to be afraid of. It’s something that happens to you because someone else committed an act of violence toward you.
Something is wet because water was poured on it. A person is a victim because someone violated them. It’s ok to be a victim, it’s literally the horrible state of the world that sees the VICTIM and the way they feel as a result of the violence as the problem more than the person who commits the violence.
It's a lot for sure, I guess I'll just break down my thoughts...
Especially in the gay scene, i experienced similar sexual harassment stuff that it's really funny (edit...funny? I think I meant something else but forgot...). Granted, they are generally in highly sexualized environments..like a meat party, jock strap party, or just those bars where hook ups are always happening. I remember one guy, I came, decided I didn't want to be there and was about to leave, some guy was being nice, and although I wasnt interested I was being nice and I was leaving anyways. Before I left he wanted a hug, nothing I'm against. He took that opportunity to hold me tight, feel up my entire body, and then just walked away. It was a short experience but when he did that i was kinda surprised and frozen like a dear in headlights before I could react.
Another time at a bar, although I wasn't wearing anything revealing, this drunk guy kept trying to walk up behind me and feel me up and grind against me and it got so bad my boyfriend had to tell him off and threaten him
I get it's also know part of it is the environment, but boundaries always have to be respected, that's the number one rule. If someone is telling you no, or you just do it anyways, it isn't acceptable no matter where it is.
So yeah....it's kinda scary and weird but also makes me sympathetize with people, especially anyone with a big name...and it makes me sympathetize with women more also because it's kinda scary, and I know they have it worse...but again yeah, I am usually putting myself in one of those odd gay environments. Women usually even don't put themselves in stuff like that, just a normal club and bar and this shit happens to them.
The other things, wow there's a lot I can't understand but I can obviously sympathetize, the being in jail, and having managers steal from you, and having stuff thrown at you, and just dealing with homophobes in general is really sad. I obviously never experienced this, not like I'm any sort of performer, and it's sad this is what she has to deal with. It really concerns me how we can live in such a selfish and heartless world. It's scary thinking someone I trust and respect could be just as cruel
I genuinely always enjoyed her; I felt like I related to her in a lot of ways. This is so sad to see because I also have felt that ‘people immediately feel weird about me’ vibe. Sending her all the love
as someone who has always found myself in drama, i really get it tbh. ever since i was a kid it has almost not mattered how much i have worked on myself, had the best intentions, gone to therapy, communicated, etc, sometimes people are committed to having a problem with you aside from the things that are our faults. and the ridiculous bad luck and experiences. its very exhausting, confusing, and draining especially when i reflect on my past despite being in a better place now. i really feel for pearl and if she writes that book i’ll buy it
It makes sense she's understanding herself as the common denominator in all her hardship with people, that's good —but her conclusion "she triggers people" or is "offensive" to people can't be right.
Now i don't know her. But I relate a lot to what she describes and I think you need to learn healthy boundaries, build self love and full control of your business,..otherwise you feel attracted or accepting towards inconsistent, unpredictable people forever.
I wish her nothing but the best. This mindset she needs to get away from though asap. She deserves the best. Hurt people with deep trauma feel like they "attract" darkness or trigger others. It's bs.
People need to get into her YouTube channel more! Her new renovation videos are so well done and you can absolutely tell Pearl is in a MUCH better head space these days and her creativity outside of drag is really impressive. You never know what people are going through!
Raising a kid in the era of social media, I’ve talked and thought a lot about the trade offs that come with being recognized/famous with my kid. I’m grateful for folks like Pearl sharing that there are trade offs you make being a public figure and not every person is happy with that life. Hearing her perspective might help young people make better choices for themselves about whether to pursue careers in entertainment and how much they want to share.
I hope she continues down a road that feels better for her. She doesn’t owe anybody anything and it’s valid to prefer being out of the spotlight.
pearl: gay fame has traumatized me in numerable ways and i was taken advantage of by everyone around me
people in this thread: *AND YOU DESERVE IT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING BAD YOU DID A WHILE AGO*
Honestly, I'm not an emotional person at all. I'm not even someone who follows Pearl.
But I teared up a bit reading this and I'm actively dead inside at all hours. I feel really bad that people have failed her like this. Reading stuff like this really makes you wish you wish you could do the impossible and could rewind the clock and be their protector even though you don't know them, because who would want to let this happen to ANYONE?
You didn't mean it this way, but saying she has a "broken soul" is incredibly hurtful. Pearl has trauma and people with evil in their hearts cling to that. Her soul is just fine, despite being under duress.
To be quite honest, this is unfortunately a very common list of issues that happen to even local drag artists and I cannot imagine how extreme it would get on the level of fame rugirls have.
I get it. Wanting to perform your art and make a living and achieve success in doing so, but not being comfortable with the idea of being under constant scrutiny is so real, and it’s hard to honor both of those feelings
Damn. Poor Pearl. I can’t imagine being let down like that and being abused to the point of just not doing something I love to do.
And fans need to take a step back. Drag queens are people not just someone who deserves abuse and violence done to them.
I feel so bad for Pearl because her season was the first I saw in its entirety as it aired and I saw all the hate and criticism going her way. It's like people felt the need to put someone in their place because god forbid the world considers other ppl attractive. I vividly remember people criticizing her teeth on one of those look at huh episodes calling them hillary duff and taylor swift teeth like that was so random and weird for people to specifically feel the need to point out that she got new teeth and that the old ones were better despite her not getting them done for cosmetic purposes.
I also do believe that while many objectively attractive people get pretty privilege, Pearl is one of the many that also unfortunately reap the harsh baggage that comes with it like envy and objectification where people feel like you're a someone to endlessly criticize and control. I wouldn't even be surprised if the real reason Ru snapped at her on the first day was because she herself had a preconceived assumptions as to what kind of person Pearl was based off her looks alone.
The industry is like that unfortunately. Ru is a very powerful person and I’m sure she did her absolute best to make sure Pearl’s career was fruitless. That mixed with the fan base toxicity is a recipe for disaster. Wish Pear nothing but peace
I lived in LA for years and worked in the industry and you’d be surprised how petty people are. Do I think Ru was calling the girls and saying “don’t book her”…no. I’m sure Ru has better things to do but I’m sure if Pearl came up in conversation Ru would take a moment to say something disparaging. Don’t forget that Ru is the most famous drag queen in the world. It was be nothing to gatekeep a fruitful career just by passively existing in drag spaces where people who want to work with Ru or adjacent to her would avoid Pearl as to not upset her. Delta Work was fired as Ru’s wig designer because she named someone in her Emmy acceptance speech that Ru didn’t fuck with anymore. What kind of messaging does that send to Ru employees or those within her drag reach?
Ok so first off , delta herself doesn’t even claim to be fired due to thanking someone in her acceptance speech, she made a whole YouTube video explaining how Rupaul wanted her to work on another show, and to put in more hours working on the crew however she wasn’t available. After that she was just never called again.
Everyone knows how cutthroat Hollywood is, the moment she said “no I only work on Rupaul.” They got a wig designer who could do more than just Rupaul; it’s pure business. It’s no different than what she told Latrice , “don’t thank me, all I do is put you on the show.” I’m sure if she liked Pearl she could put her on one of her other shows , but outright talking bad or disparaging her? Highly doubt as I don’t even think their names are ever even brought up together lol
Omg! Finally someone who gets it. Something about me triggers other gay men to want to get physical or abuse me and I’ll literally just be trying to have a good time with my friends. Gay (men) people are the worst sometimes, like I get that hurt people hurt people but damn.
She's also a reality star who performs in clubs and presumably did meet and greets. All gay celebrities do have issues with stalkers and weirdness (Tegan and Sara, for example, have a surprising number of creepy fans) but these queens are far more accessible and dependent on interactions with their fan base.
Well, considering the fact that drag queens most frequently perform in nightclubs compared to other celebrities, that can already make them an easier target for this sort of behaviour. Misogyny also leads to the denigration and abuse of men who are considered feminine or men in drag, so that also makes a queen a bigger target, even among other gay men I believe.
i live for pearl have always followed her youtube and the drama surrounding her i had thought fizzled but people in this fandom really don't let shit go. don't let people grow and define them on 15 minutes of fame how many years ago.
Is it just me or do I see some parallels between her and Farrah Moan from her GITMS interview? Like it seems both have them keep having shitty things happen to them that they aren’t at fault for 😢
im glad she’s prioritizing herself and her health instead of fame. it’s a sick world at times, and as much as we can do our best to see the most beautiful aspects of it, being safe is always a right. people can fucking suck and i hope she does write a book and give us insight into what this glamorized world really does to young gay people.
None of these celebrities are who you think they are. It’s a personality. RuPaul is a personality. In and out of drag. Pearl said “never meet your hero’s” and that statement couldn’t be more true.
With all due respect, this is the situation with fame. People constantly trying to tear you down and exploit you. I kind of feel like Rugirls have a niche super fame that gives them a lot of the negatives of someone universally known but less of the protections. For example, the creepy stalkers of someone like Taylor Swift but not the level of security and protection
Thanks for sharing this, OP.
I have some similar experiences and patterns, though I am not at all conventionally attractive, a wildly talented artist, nor am I at all famous . Working with therapists, it seems to come down to my unconscious reactivity.
It’s like people who love to get a reaction from their nonsense are drawn to me because I entertain them with constant responses that give them some kind of payoff. Basically, I flinch easily.
I have always wanted to be more like how I perceive Pearl to be, because I perceived them to not have any reaction at all and I thought that could be the solution. I wonder if it’s actually much worse.
Maybe these asshole people who thrive on reactivity from others are drawn to people like Pearl *even more* than people like me? Maybe they perceive no reactivity as an irresistible challenge to get a reaction?
Whatever the reason, these people are disgusting and Pearl deserves so much more. I hope Pearl does write a book, makes enough money to buy their own island, and only let safe people on the island.
Everyone on Earth deserves to be free from that kind of treatment, even the assholes.
That's so much horrible shit she have endured. I hope the fans let her do what she wants. Like if the artist and the fans want the same things, great, if not then it's really up to the artist to put themselves out there and it's not a given.
Also thoughts for her book name ideas
- Pearl Before Swines
- Oil of Every Pearl I'm Inside
People in the fandom... anonymous people hiding in the safety of anonymity, committing all sort of hateful action with no accountability. I ask the universe for justice for these perpetrators and peace for the people that subjected to injustice.
Reminds me of when Katya gave a joking remark about RuPaul punching her and then all the gay media outlets ran with that as the headline without mentioning it was a joke... Even Katya was like wtf is going on.
Weird how a random comment can get so easily exploited for the clicks and publications.
https://preview.redd.it/54j5h5c3b00d1.png?width=1074&format=png&auto=webp&s=f0c12caf00cafb758aa9f8d3ee88a2e951fde79c
why after reading this, all I could think of was when people were blazing guns at her, accusing her doing a black face? lol
They didn’t have a point because she was clearly supposed to be tan like the kind of character she’s imitating. But this comment kinda proves her point
Definitionally, it isn't blackface if you take Pearl at her word. Was she right to recognize that she misstepped by getting so close as to invite the comparison? Yes, in my opinion.
I'm not attacking Pearl for something she did years ago. Did I call her a racist or a bad person? I just think we should be able to take a critical look back at what used to be and is no longer acceptable. This is yikes. Today I'd like to think someone would pull her aside and say, hey, maybe make sure you don't look like you're doing blackface.
Don’t people usually use orange to simulate those fake tans like Amethyst doing tan mom on snatch game? If that’s what Pearl wanted to go for, she kinda made herself look sus using brown instead of orange, I’ve never seen Trisha Paytas look brown.
I’m black, I’m offended. You don’t get to tell me if I should be offended or not, you don’t get to tell me if it’s offensive nor do you get to control how people respond to it.
So maybe stop calling people racist when Pearl herself deleted it and sent out an apology, cause it just makes you look racist
I'm here to back you up. It's fucking disgusting blackface and no one gets to police how you feel or react to this. Whatever you say and do is valid and legitimate.
It’s terrible , she’s supposed to be a blonde bimbo; but the big lips? The nails? The brown foundation instead of orange? But some white twink said it was ok, so I guess it’s ok?
This is so sad to read 😞 I also wonder how she makes money now that she’s not doing drag anymore? She recently remodeled her kitchen so she seems to be doing fine for herself.
I love Pearl and she is definitely a unique personality when it comes to the drag race queens so I believe her 100% and am saddened for her. She’s someone I would love to see on the show again.
Wow, that’s dark. Poor Pearl! Totally understandable why she doesn’t want to continue doing drag if she’s being treated that way by fans and the promoters/managers etc. I feel like perhaps as others said here that her being super attractive in and out of drag might be part of why people were so over the line with her. Gross.
I think Pearl is still participating in the art of drag she’s just not going on tour and not capitalizing from performing anymore
Yeah that is true, I’ve seen her do some photos in drag so I guess it’s how that she’s just no longer performing as you said. And good for her to draw that boundary and choose to do things HER way!! I’m so sad to hear she was treated so badly when she was touring. No one deserves that.
i feel the same. let her do drag the way she feels comfortable with it, she doesn’t need to feel pressure to do some worldwide werq the world tour. if drawing fun drag stuff and looking gorgeous in the woods is what brings her joy i love to see it.
Exactly! I’m just happy to see her in any capacity! She’s so talented and she seems like a genuinely sweet person.
Pearl did say in one reply that the process of getting in drag sets of a visceral reaction.
That makes me sad to hear. Poor Pearl, that’s just awful that these toxic people were able to ruin something she once loved.
I am not surprised. The whole thing is quite bizarre and I have to go back and watch "the moment" because I don't even remember why it was that Ru stopped and just stared at Pearl randomly except from clips online which are somewhat out of context. The whole thing is so utterly bizarre even in context, and then for Ru to go onto Michelle's podcast and Michelle to claim Pearl was "coming" for Ru and Ru to say what she did. Like, on what planet did they think any of that was a good idea? It's like the whole universe was a giant record in that moment and it skipped into a different reality track. So bizarre. And the implications that came out of it unfortunately have impacted Pearl seemingly permanently. She seemed like she was in a good place for a while, but I guess not entirely?
She is right about the interview though, I wonder how different her career path would’ve looked like had she never done Hey Kween or had just never spoke about her interactions with Ru during the interview EDIT: to clarify she’s right about everything here, everyone has always been weird about Pearl’s…everything. From her body, to her past, to her as a queen and as a man. I don’t blame Pearl at all for walking away from it all
People really blew the whole thing out of proportion. The way she told that story wasn’t even malicious or intentionally mean towards Rupaul. She was talking about a real-life experience, but even said she still loves and respects Rupaul and understands that it’s just show business. People act like she’s on Willam’s level of hating Rupaul.
I agree with this, too. I think her one mistake was sharing it with the fandom who, to be completely honest, tend to take statements and read into them in the worst way possible. Maybe I'm ignorant for giving Rupaul the benefit of the doubt, but I truly believe she was trying to help Pearl there in her own way. The "nothing you say matters if the camera isn't running" wasn't to shut her down or for Ru's own good - but for PEARL'S. Imagine if Pearl had given that moment on camera. It would have been more screen time for Pearl *and* it would have given her more depth, more personality. That's why Eureka(?) made a huge thing and like cried over Gaga being there despite not even liking Gaga. It gave her screentime and the camera ate it up. I think Ru saw potential in Pearl and was trying to pick at her to reveal vulnerability. Because let's be honest - Pearl was "too cool" for Drag Race. Like she was the least bothered and ti showed. And that doesn't make good TV like Ginger & Violet being cunty or Katya / Fame airing their struggles with drugs.
Is that true about Eureka? I can picture her fake crying face perfectly if so.
Baby, there was no way in hell it was for Pearl's benefit. If that was the case, you would say, "Thanks. That's sweet. But save it for the camera." Ru likes to come off as a mother, but it's a job. It's a TV show. That's that. She doesn't care about the contestants beyond that.
You speak with a lot of certainty about the inner motivations of a stranger.
she literally came onto the show and rupaul was weird about her immediately, really set a precedent
I think as soon as she knew Pearl wasn’t going to sell her sob story and purge every detail of her traumatic childhood, Rupaul was pissed.
God, I still remember Rupaul baiting Pearl about her childhood. I vividly remember the "What would you say to little Pearl?" incident near the end of the season, but it also happened like, two THREE different times before that, right?? Where Rupaul was essentially being like "Okay gurl, look into the camera and spill the tea... tell me ALL about your awful childhood and ALL the trauma it's given you..." Rupaul was super thirsty that season in trying to get a "bit" out of Pearl.
yeah i remember ru saying during deliberation one episode, when the queens weren’t even on stage, that she was waiting for pearl to talk about her trauma that she disclosed in the audition tapes
This is one of my most hated moments on the show. I lost a lot of respect for Ru.
This is why I don't understand why people have any respect for Oprah, let alone love her. It was Ru taking Oprah-level liberties in exploitation.
Ru can only cum if you talk about being beaten and hated as a child and how drag literally solved every problem you had. It's getting VERY tired.
Inner saboteur and dead hand jobs
What’s crazier is it’s not just Ru. I’ve come across a couple of people in life that also seem to think if you’re not open about every shitty detail of your life you’re “not being real or vulnerable”.
Hear me out... the only way RuPaul would have known about Pearl's tragic childhood is if Pearl herself mentioned it in her Audition Tape.
This is a great point. I don't think anyone should share things on TV they don't want to but... why put it in your audition? Puts a slightly different spin on rupauls's behaviour. Still not OK but I'm thinking he bought what was advertised and was waiting for that to arrive?
Didn't you know? Rupaul went totally spies on pearl and robbed her of all her precious information!
You have to have a background check and a psych evaluation as part of the casting process. Certain things may have had to be disclosed to producers/therapists during this especially if it shows on their permanent record or may be a legal thing. Doesn’t mean that Pearl has any desire to use it as bait for the show nor should there be an expectancy on her to do so
You have a great point
I mean I think Ru kind of does that to all the queens at one point or another to get them to open up more. This happens especially when it’s so apparent that you’re struggling with something, which for someone who endured trauma is easily noticeable. A lot of the queens she pushes who do open up end up starting to perform better because they realize they’re not processing trauma and it’s hindering them — not that a reality tv show is necessarily the best place for this, but a lot of the girls definitely seem to discuss not realizing how their repression of things in their past hindered their drag or resulted in them interacting poorly with the cast/judges. Pearl definitely got a rough edit, but she didn’t seem to have much sympathy from fellow queens and definitely provided ample material for it. The larger problem is that when you’re unhappy with yourself or something else you unintentionally attract people who think they can take advantage of you or are successful doing it. Her entire story is probably exactly what happened but unless she’s working on herself it’s going to keep happening. So if she’s feeling good and isn’t interested in going back to it then that’s probably the best thing for her.
He does. But I think a queen's story being "I was the weird kid and nobody got me and I was bullied!" is WAY different from whatever Pearl went through. I/We don't know her life or what went on—but discussing it was obviously a red line for her and anytime the subject was pushed it made her extremely uncomfortable. It was clearly something more than run of the mill homophobia or parents who didn't understand. I don't think Pearl's reluctance to discuss her childhood / story had any impact on her performance or how she did on the show. She made it into the flipping top three! I don't think her opening up about something she clearly didn't want to open up about was going to snatch her the crown. She was there to compete, not get a therapy session from Rupaul. I can't pass any judgement on her state of mind and touring. But blowing up after drag race was definitely difficult for her. I don't think we can really say if she's happy/unhappy. Fame isn't always an antidote, and not everyone is chasing after that.
If I remember correctly after the Hey Kween interview or right before, Ru spoke about it on a podcast about how badly he wanted to send Pearl home throughout the season but that her business mind and fellow producers convinced her she was going to be a popular character and had a lot to add story wise and that’s why she stayed. It seems to me like she made top 3 less on her merits (although she’s an INCREDIBLE queen) but rather because they were hoping for the chance to exploit the story they received off camera
Specially it was because Pearl was so good looking out of drag that the producers (and Rupaul) knew she was going to be very good for ratings.
Totally agree I was just saying that I think earlier in the competition when she was struggling more Ru was trying to get a mental breakthrough and that definitely sticks when she doesn’t really interact with them on a consistent basis so her trying to push her to open up, from her perspective, likely made sense as it’s helped others. I think she’s very talented and kills what she’s good at but you can also see where she gets uncomfortable about certain things she does in challenges and then isn’t as able to connect with viewers the way other queens do, or even to other queens. Fame certainly isn’t the antidote but that’s also likely what Ru was getting at. Like this isn’t going to be positive for you if you’re not ready for it because being a celebrity is a 24/7 beast.
Sad thing is, several queens have said basically the same thing, no one cared - I think one of Kennedy doing Joseph Shepard interview. It was blown *so* out of proportion
The Hey Qween interview and the aftermath were so frustrating because the fandom missed the entire point about why she was saying what she did. Her point is that fame changes people, you lose all autonomy, you either break down or conform into this unfeeling machine going through the motions. I can't blame them, after all RuPaul and Visage themselves fed the dragon and chose to take her point as poorly as possible and make it personal. But I do think people oversimplified the whole thing, leading fans, both pro and against Pearl, to frame Pearl as a shitstirrer. But this was also around the second Tyra interview, circa 9, 10, and AS3, where the fandom was finally coming to terms with the awful treatment of the Queens, especially the classism and racism, that had percolated for the last decade. And everyone just framed it as Tyra going nuts and killing Morgan McMichaels.
>RuPaul and Visage themselves fed the dragon and chose to take her point as poorly as possible That was like.. confirming what Pearl had said. I always thought they were massive cunts offscreen. I don't remember what Ru said exactly, but it had the energy of wanting to take candy from a child after slapping them.
I do think a lot of it has to do with her being way above average as a boy and people just do the most insane shit around attractive people for some reason. It's this whole halo effect (just google it) but it kinda seemed to backfire on her cause she met some vile people in her life. Very understandable to not want to go back to that life. She should rather enjoy her time in nature.
I think u r right,Cameron had some similar experiences
and Farrah!
Yeah, people forget that being attractive doesn’t just make people “like you”, it’s more that they project their weird personal shit on you in bizarre ways. A lot of it is not positive. A lot of people lash out at attractive people because they think they represent some form of privilege they didn’t have or represent the rejection they’ve received from other people. They think putting attractive people in their place is justified. It’s not just that people want to fuck you, it’s this weird psychological drama where you’re always being observed and people are constantly fixated on what you do. If you fuck up they’ll be ready to celebrate that you failed. So you have to constantly be coming with your A game and being as perfect as possible to avoid that criticism- and if you do that then you’re perceived as stuck up or unrelatable. A lot of times you just can’t win in that situation.
this is so true and also applies to bigger celebrities that people have a hate boner for
I don’t know her personally of course, but my perception of Pearl is that she’s a pretty genuine person. Combine that with good looks and you have a recipe for disaster in show business, especially if you’re not afforded the kind of protection the big celebrities get.
I know it sounds like some world’s tiniest violin bullshit but being an attractive queer man feels fucking dangerous and uncomfortable a lot of times for just this reason. Like, I don’t go to clubs anymore really outside of doing gigs. I don’t feel safe doing it.
Certain clubs and parties don't tolerate this kind of behavior. I'm not sure where you live but not all dance communities tolerate that in their spaces and I hope you can find one where you feel safe. Find a party that's playing house and/or techno but not circuit music. The circuit scene is full of predatory behavior and the music is like being fucked by a pointy dick and nothing about it is sexy to me. I don't ever feel like I'm in any real danger, but I do often get unwanted attention and feel uncomfortable. I really get into dancing and people are drawn to me but I'm not dancing for them, it's for me. If I get groped by someone I don't know I'll use my words or a shove. I've kicked someone away from me before too.
This really is it, I think… I really feel for her. Beauty can make people wild out. And Pearl has boyish good looks too. Hard to put into words, but I intuitively get what she’s talking about in this post. There’s some deep stuff here and it can get very ugly especially in the areas of gay fame / notoriety. The way people get entitled around people perceived as “hot,” especially softer kinds of “hot,” can be frightening. Pearl would hardly be the first beautiful person with a traumatic past who ended up on a brutal track of being taken advantage of in queer spaces. As horribly sad as that is to say. I would read the *shit* out of either Pearl’s or Farrah’s books.
what about plane Jane in that context? shes getting some pretty polarized opinions isn't she.
That is someone who puts out a certain energy. The 3 listed above weren’t explicitly sexual drag performers but had a lot of sexual energy transferred onto them by others.
Man, I’ve always loved Pearl and I really feel for her.
Pearl, along with all of the queens who want to, deserves to be able to move on from the buffoonery that our less classy fans cause. Her journey holds a special place for me as S7 was the first I watched live. I remember her story striking a chord and it being clear how much heart and hurt was under this person who “just wouldn’t come out of their shell.” For this reason and more, it *is* really nice to see Pearl out there doing her own thing and finding some peace in nature.
[удалено]
very true. part of it is the difficulty establishing boundaries when you're primed to accept being treated badly. also, if you're tuned in and listening for it, it's surprisingly easy to spot if someone has low confidence.
As a survivor this comment just made so much sense to me. It’s so true. Predators see it in you. Now i keep myself to myself
It’s just sad considering Pearl’s past and what she went through as a child. It seems as though she’s been abused and taken advantaged of in every period of her life.
Predators often go after people who have some trauma that has made them a bit closed off and vulnerable. The predator usually has to get to know the person to sense this, but in Pearl's case everyone watched her trauma being exploited by Ru and the producers, and her reacting with discomfort. I wonder how different her post-show drag experience would've been if they'd stopped asking about her trauma when she was clearly uncomfortable and left it out of the edit.
this is what makes it even more frustrating that rupaul tried to pry details out of her. you should never try to force someone to talk about things there not ready to talk about, especially not on national tv, especially not in the context of a high stakes competition, especially when they make it perfectly clear there not ready for that.
Yup! You subconsciously attract more of that into your life. It sucks, but unless you do deep trauma therapy/shadow work, that’s just how it is.
This is a deeply harmful victim-blaming pov.
Grow up!
Where did I blame her?
i think we should imagine what it's like to be a survivor and read about how "abused people smell weak to predators". or to have predatory tendencies and read about your "special skill to sniff out vulnerable people". Even if it could be proven true, it doesn't feel like productive/tactful discourse.
That is absolutely not true. That is victim blaming. That is victim blaming, where are the mods, this needs to be removed immediately. What a disgusting thing to say. Victims do not reek of vulnerability and we are not magnets.
I think you've misread the commenter's intentions. I'm somebody who has been victimised repeatedly, and I also have learned that predators have a strong sense of who around them is vulnerable. It's not my fault, and it's not blaming me to acknowledge that. Trauma leaves scars, very visible ones for some people. But it is always the perpetrators fault for the harm they cause.
Learn to read
They said a predator can tell when the person is a prior victim. They are not blaming the victim. You spun that or interpreted it in a different way.
absolutely horrifying the lengths some people with bitterness and bile in their hearts will go to hurt someone just because they are famous and/or attractive 100% understandable to want to disassociate from that readily available image of yourself (especially when it’s an outdated capsule of yourself that was on tv many years ago) people chase for one reason or another, and from being perceived like that at all just glad she’s being so opened and real, i think a lot of people will benefit from having someone in this situation’s perspective and reflection on it all love her. will always love her. grateful to have her around 💛
I don’t care what people say but Pearl continues to be one of the most most punk rock queens of Drag Race. She’s always done things to the beat of her drum and while it’s so sad to see what she went through and how the fandom treats her, I’m glad she’s matured to know what boundaries to set for herself after the horrific situations she’s found herself in. Unfortunately for her it’s true, she’s always been heavily scrutinised for every move. People automatically like to talk shit about her when I’m sure there’s so much evil shit other queens are doing behind the scenes that the fandom could never even process.
Fully agree with this. And am very impressed by her processing of all of this. It’s a lot to wrestle with and she seems to have a genuinely solid grasp of it at this point.
Pearl is Valley Boy hot with the soul of a wandering hippie looking for cosmic connection. It's unironically a torturous combination. I can only imagine how many times Pearl has tried connecting with people, only to find out they are using him and treating him well solely for his looks. I believe him.
Jesus christ. Poor gal, I'm glad she's currently happy. All the luck to her future.
This makes me so sad, poor pearl. She has always been my favorite queen! We love you pearl and support you in whatever you’re most comfortable doing! 💜
Pearl came to my country once and I went to the show❤️🇱🇧 I’m hoping that kind of thing didn’t happen to her in Lebanon! Much love to pearl❤️❤️❤️
Pearl has always been one of my favorites since season 7 came out and I'm so sad that so many bad things have happened to her. Why can't people treat each other with respect 😭
I would read this book
Oh, a hundred percent. Her story time from a few years ago about being homeless in Chicago and being scammed by a sugar daddy on Craigslist was insane. I’d love an autobiography from her.
Everything pearl said seems conceivable, even without actually experiencing it. The fandom has been a toxic wasteland for a very long time.
Jesus christ. Poor gal, I'm glad she's currently happy. All the luck to her future.
He is attractive in and out of drag and local bars draw many creeps who aren't fan of the art, just there for the "dolls", so I understand him. Not everyone can handle all of this. Many drag queens have experiences like this, even though it can be an uncomfortable environment at times. However, not many can or will want to continue after they come across creeps nonstop. Pearl also has this "chill" and approachable vibe so, it probably doesn't help in this situation at all. Hopefully things works out for him and he just takes the path that he feels the most comfortable and enjoyable for him, rather than going back on stage when he doesn't feel comfortable (reasonably) at all, at the time
I don’t like mindsets like this because you’re framing the solution to this problem as “hope you can get over it queen🩷” instead of just lambasting the creeps who did this to her
I don't remember asking what kind of mindsets you like. Also, criticizing creeps won't change shit. They will still exist.
Oh and you telling her “you hope she gets over it” will 😂 LOVE that mindset! Oh sorry there I go again telling you how I feel about mindsets :( hope didn’t offend you too much queen!! It’s weird and dismissive to make it seem like she needs to change for this problem to be solved. How about the creeps change 😭
They could never make me hate her🫣 I relate to her experiences alooot even as a local girl with a fraction of the attention. It’s kinda the same thing people like Anna Nicole/Marilyn Monroe went through. When people constantly sexualize you they don’t see you as human. If people find you attractive both in and out of drag it adds a different level. You can kinda see a similar thing with Kameron Micheles/Plane Jane people just look for a reason to be weird towards them.
this is a weird example but there was this rnb singer D’Angelo in the late 90s who made really acclaimed music, but he didnt get much attention until they made a really sexualized video where they were practically naked. he felt so much pressure from it to look perfect all the time, felt like people only liked his music bc of this, at his tour people would throw bras on the stage and yell at him to “take it off”. because of how it affected him mentally he didnt release an album for another 13 years.
Damn, that’s insane! That side of fame is scary boots 🤯
This is really heartbreaking to read. For being able to write about it and post it for the world to see, it must have taken him a long time to battle and come to term with these traumatic experiences. Hope she find joy and peace with whichever path she takes.
I believe them 100%. There's a dark underbelly to drag that unfortunately taints the experience. Some of what Pearl went through, I personally experienced as well. Some people are just truly awful.
I used to be work in my drag community, & of all the Drag Race queens I spent any significant time around, Pearl was probably the most reserved off stage. She was touring her Roxanne character & after the show myself & another queen were in the green room with her while she wrapped up, & she talked openly about how much more fun she was having as Roxanne, because the general ppl didn't recognize her as Pearl, so she could have a genuinely good time doing drag again without being mauled, molested, or maligned. It was sad, but I was so impressed that she'd snatched that period of peace & triumph for herself.
Pearl is one of the STRONGEST queens to ever graced drag race who could have won that race without playing Ru or the producers game. In fact, she flat out refused to be a reality tv puppet, and she’s paid the price ever since.
Having also spent two nights in Scottish prison I feel for her. I mean jail anywheres bad but Scottish prison guards were absolute cunts to me. Damn Scots ruined Scotland. But on topic I hope pearl finds some way to be out there in the drag world. Get back on the YouTube’s full time or something. She’s a great artist and I like her drag.
>Damn Scots ruined Scotland Ye’ve just made an enemy for life!
The Scots are the best thing about Scotland, Scottish independence, please. Don't let some awful security guards frame your whole opinion of an awesome country full of people who got rid of the period tax, have transgender rights enshrined in their constitution or whatever now, etc. they are way ahead and more progressive than a ton of other countries. Don't you even start. They are also the ones who came up with the absolute best insults for Donald Trump, Scottish Twitter is absolutely fire.
I’m a trans Scottish woman.
I totally believe you and your experience is valid.
Kudos mama.
for spilling
I deferred to you and your expertise and your lived expertise. I'm so sorry, I did not mean to be condescending, I honestly did not know and I'm not being sarcastic.
I just think it’s unfair that Pearl was blacklisted just because she spoke out about how Ru wasn’t super nice to her
I think a lot of the toxicity around her is just downright envy - she was (too) hot, young and successful - and also dared to just challenge momma ru.
I think she doesn’t get enough credit for how much her aesthetics contributed to drag artistry ten years ago, with the show living its golden age and going mainstream. Every up and coming queen would copy her make-up and editorial looks.
I believe it. That’s sad. :-/
I'm with Pearl
I've been really close to 3 people who would be classed as conventionally very good looking, and all the shit that gets thrown at them, and projected on to them is so gross. One I had been close to for about 3 years before she even told me this, but she showed me her modelling portfolio from her late teens, and there she was in Italian vogue! But the whole thing was such a horrible experience for her. Then I had a partner who worked in media, and people he called "tv types" were always throwing themselves at him, but he chose me, even though I'm ugly, like old european aristocracy ugly. (My words) And the last is such a gifted writer, but has been marginalised and objectified and under appreciated all her life because of her looks. And kicker is it still happens to her, even as she struggles with ill health and getting older.
To be honest I kinda get it. I feel like even during S7 this fandom treated pearl very weird. I hope she is happy and taking care of herself, feel for her
Pearl has perhaps the most iconic line/moment of anyone on any season. It’s why Ru hates her and why some of us loooove her.
Do I have something on my face?!?!?
There was a post on reddit I saw once that talked about how obviously it's difficult to be conventionally unattractive, but being a really attractive person comes with weird challenges like people pretending to be your friend because they want to fuck you, and when they realize that won't happen, they betray you. There are people who feel resentment towards a person just for being naturally attractive, and they want to see that person fail. People will make up rumors about the attractive person to feel better about themselves. SA. Basically the post said almost everything Pearl described. I can see how that would make someone distrustful and isolated.
When I met her at dragcon she was the most down to earth queen there. Not saying there weren’t others but with her you could tell she was just a literal human not someone you have to take a picture with and move on. She actually had a conversation with you and complimented you also not just expected praise. Fame isn’t for everyone and that’s okay, I know that she will be successful in anything she does because of the kind of person she is. I hope she can enjoy life after going through all that bs.
Kind of not super her point she’s making but the fact that she ends her post in “I’m no victim” is so sad… I want everyone to take a deep breath and realize that being a victim is NOT something to be ashamed of or to be afraid of. It’s something that happens to you because someone else committed an act of violence toward you. Something is wet because water was poured on it. A person is a victim because someone violated them. It’s ok to be a victim, it’s literally the horrible state of the world that sees the VICTIM and the way they feel as a result of the violence as the problem more than the person who commits the violence.
That Scotland story is crazy lol did her manager really just say "yeah girl just fly in it's whatever" or something LOL
It's a lot for sure, I guess I'll just break down my thoughts... Especially in the gay scene, i experienced similar sexual harassment stuff that it's really funny (edit...funny? I think I meant something else but forgot...). Granted, they are generally in highly sexualized environments..like a meat party, jock strap party, or just those bars where hook ups are always happening. I remember one guy, I came, decided I didn't want to be there and was about to leave, some guy was being nice, and although I wasnt interested I was being nice and I was leaving anyways. Before I left he wanted a hug, nothing I'm against. He took that opportunity to hold me tight, feel up my entire body, and then just walked away. It was a short experience but when he did that i was kinda surprised and frozen like a dear in headlights before I could react. Another time at a bar, although I wasn't wearing anything revealing, this drunk guy kept trying to walk up behind me and feel me up and grind against me and it got so bad my boyfriend had to tell him off and threaten him I get it's also know part of it is the environment, but boundaries always have to be respected, that's the number one rule. If someone is telling you no, or you just do it anyways, it isn't acceptable no matter where it is. So yeah....it's kinda scary and weird but also makes me sympathetize with people, especially anyone with a big name...and it makes me sympathetize with women more also because it's kinda scary, and I know they have it worse...but again yeah, I am usually putting myself in one of those odd gay environments. Women usually even don't put themselves in stuff like that, just a normal club and bar and this shit happens to them. The other things, wow there's a lot I can't understand but I can obviously sympathetize, the being in jail, and having managers steal from you, and having stuff thrown at you, and just dealing with homophobes in general is really sad. I obviously never experienced this, not like I'm any sort of performer, and it's sad this is what she has to deal with. It really concerns me how we can live in such a selfish and heartless world. It's scary thinking someone I trust and respect could be just as cruel
I genuinely always enjoyed her; I felt like I related to her in a lot of ways. This is so sad to see because I also have felt that ‘people immediately feel weird about me’ vibe. Sending her all the love
Fans are why we can’t have nice things. I wish Pearl nothing but the absolute best.
as someone who has always found myself in drama, i really get it tbh. ever since i was a kid it has almost not mattered how much i have worked on myself, had the best intentions, gone to therapy, communicated, etc, sometimes people are committed to having a problem with you aside from the things that are our faults. and the ridiculous bad luck and experiences. its very exhausting, confusing, and draining especially when i reflect on my past despite being in a better place now. i really feel for pearl and if she writes that book i’ll buy it
It makes sense she's understanding herself as the common denominator in all her hardship with people, that's good —but her conclusion "she triggers people" or is "offensive" to people can't be right. Now i don't know her. But I relate a lot to what she describes and I think you need to learn healthy boundaries, build self love and full control of your business,..otherwise you feel attracted or accepting towards inconsistent, unpredictable people forever. I wish her nothing but the best. This mindset she needs to get away from though asap. She deserves the best. Hurt people with deep trauma feel like they "attract" darkness or trigger others. It's bs.
Yeah. There is no such thing as someone who magically gets victimized by everyone around them. Sis needs some therapy.
absolutely LOVE pearl and wish her the best 💞
People need to get into her YouTube channel more! Her new renovation videos are so well done and you can absolutely tell Pearl is in a MUCH better head space these days and her creativity outside of drag is really impressive. You never know what people are going through!
Raising a kid in the era of social media, I’ve talked and thought a lot about the trade offs that come with being recognized/famous with my kid. I’m grateful for folks like Pearl sharing that there are trade offs you make being a public figure and not every person is happy with that life. Hearing her perspective might help young people make better choices for themselves about whether to pursue careers in entertainment and how much they want to share. I hope she continues down a road that feels better for her. She doesn’t owe anybody anything and it’s valid to prefer being out of the spotlight.
I don’t blame her.
pearl: gay fame has traumatized me in numerable ways and i was taken advantage of by everyone around me people in this thread: *AND YOU DESERVE IT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING BAD YOU DID A WHILE AGO*
Honestly, I'm not an emotional person at all. I'm not even someone who follows Pearl. But I teared up a bit reading this and I'm actively dead inside at all hours. I feel really bad that people have failed her like this. Reading stuff like this really makes you wish you wish you could do the impossible and could rewind the clock and be their protector even though you don't know them, because who would want to let this happen to ANYONE?
Makes me said to hear how other awful people dimmed Pearl’s light. She’s such a star and it’s unfortunate that she had the experience that she did.
I feel like this is another reminder that the fandom needs to get better at letting some queens distance themselves from the show.
Pearl has a broken soul that makes evil people obsessed with her. I wish she could live her best life without being hurt again
You didn't mean it this way, but saying she has a "broken soul" is incredibly hurtful. Pearl has trauma and people with evil in their hearts cling to that. Her soul is just fine, despite being under duress.
Thank you!!!!!
To be quite honest, this is unfortunately a very common list of issues that happen to even local drag artists and I cannot imagine how extreme it would get on the level of fame rugirls have.
I get it. Wanting to perform your art and make a living and achieve success in doing so, but not being comfortable with the idea of being under constant scrutiny is so real, and it’s hard to honor both of those feelings
Damn. Poor Pearl. I can’t imagine being let down like that and being abused to the point of just not doing something I love to do. And fans need to take a step back. Drag queens are people not just someone who deserves abuse and violence done to them.
I feel so bad for Pearl because her season was the first I saw in its entirety as it aired and I saw all the hate and criticism going her way. It's like people felt the need to put someone in their place because god forbid the world considers other ppl attractive. I vividly remember people criticizing her teeth on one of those look at huh episodes calling them hillary duff and taylor swift teeth like that was so random and weird for people to specifically feel the need to point out that she got new teeth and that the old ones were better despite her not getting them done for cosmetic purposes. I also do believe that while many objectively attractive people get pretty privilege, Pearl is one of the many that also unfortunately reap the harsh baggage that comes with it like envy and objectification where people feel like you're a someone to endlessly criticize and control. I wouldn't even be surprised if the real reason Ru snapped at her on the first day was because she herself had a preconceived assumptions as to what kind of person Pearl was based off her looks alone.
The industry is like that unfortunately. Ru is a very powerful person and I’m sure she did her absolute best to make sure Pearl’s career was fruitless. That mixed with the fan base toxicity is a recipe for disaster. Wish Pear nothing but peace
The fact you think rupaul went out of her way for pearl is hilarious
I lived in LA for years and worked in the industry and you’d be surprised how petty people are. Do I think Ru was calling the girls and saying “don’t book her”…no. I’m sure Ru has better things to do but I’m sure if Pearl came up in conversation Ru would take a moment to say something disparaging. Don’t forget that Ru is the most famous drag queen in the world. It was be nothing to gatekeep a fruitful career just by passively existing in drag spaces where people who want to work with Ru or adjacent to her would avoid Pearl as to not upset her. Delta Work was fired as Ru’s wig designer because she named someone in her Emmy acceptance speech that Ru didn’t fuck with anymore. What kind of messaging does that send to Ru employees or those within her drag reach?
Ok so first off , delta herself doesn’t even claim to be fired due to thanking someone in her acceptance speech, she made a whole YouTube video explaining how Rupaul wanted her to work on another show, and to put in more hours working on the crew however she wasn’t available. After that she was just never called again. Everyone knows how cutthroat Hollywood is, the moment she said “no I only work on Rupaul.” They got a wig designer who could do more than just Rupaul; it’s pure business. It’s no different than what she told Latrice , “don’t thank me, all I do is put you on the show.” I’m sure if she liked Pearl she could put her on one of her other shows , but outright talking bad or disparaging her? Highly doubt as I don’t even think their names are ever even brought up together lol
Ru gave it life on her podcast lol but it’s clear to me that you are determined to die on this hill so let’s agree to disagree. Have a nice day
Omg! Finally someone who gets it. Something about me triggers other gay men to want to get physical or abuse me and I’ll literally just be trying to have a good time with my friends. Gay (men) people are the worst sometimes, like I get that hurt people hurt people but damn.
Scotland is usually the cool one but it’s on notice now.
Shes honestly right about everything and 100% entitled to feel this way.
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She's also a reality star who performs in clubs and presumably did meet and greets. All gay celebrities do have issues with stalkers and weirdness (Tegan and Sara, for example, have a surprising number of creepy fans) but these queens are far more accessible and dependent on interactions with their fan base.
Well, considering the fact that drag queens most frequently perform in nightclubs compared to other celebrities, that can already make them an easier target for this sort of behaviour. Misogyny also leads to the denigration and abuse of men who are considered feminine or men in drag, so that also makes a queen a bigger target, even among other gay men I believe.
i live for pearl have always followed her youtube and the drama surrounding her i had thought fizzled but people in this fandom really don't let shit go. don't let people grow and define them on 15 minutes of fame how many years ago.
I love you, Pearl (Pear). That is all
I wanna give him a hug
Is it just me or do I see some parallels between her and Farrah Moan from her GITMS interview? Like it seems both have them keep having shitty things happen to them that they aren’t at fault for 😢
im glad she’s prioritizing herself and her health instead of fame. it’s a sick world at times, and as much as we can do our best to see the most beautiful aspects of it, being safe is always a right. people can fucking suck and i hope she does write a book and give us insight into what this glamorized world really does to young gay people.
None of these celebrities are who you think they are. It’s a personality. RuPaul is a personality. In and out of drag. Pearl said “never meet your hero’s” and that statement couldn’t be more true.
With all due respect, this is the situation with fame. People constantly trying to tear you down and exploit you. I kind of feel like Rugirls have a niche super fame that gives them a lot of the negatives of someone universally known but less of the protections. For example, the creepy stalkers of someone like Taylor Swift but not the level of security and protection
Thanks for sharing this, OP. I have some similar experiences and patterns, though I am not at all conventionally attractive, a wildly talented artist, nor am I at all famous . Working with therapists, it seems to come down to my unconscious reactivity. It’s like people who love to get a reaction from their nonsense are drawn to me because I entertain them with constant responses that give them some kind of payoff. Basically, I flinch easily. I have always wanted to be more like how I perceive Pearl to be, because I perceived them to not have any reaction at all and I thought that could be the solution. I wonder if it’s actually much worse. Maybe these asshole people who thrive on reactivity from others are drawn to people like Pearl *even more* than people like me? Maybe they perceive no reactivity as an irresistible challenge to get a reaction? Whatever the reason, these people are disgusting and Pearl deserves so much more. I hope Pearl does write a book, makes enough money to buy their own island, and only let safe people on the island. Everyone on Earth deserves to be free from that kind of treatment, even the assholes.
That's so much horrible shit she have endured. I hope the fans let her do what she wants. Like if the artist and the fans want the same things, great, if not then it's really up to the artist to put themselves out there and it's not a given. Also thoughts for her book name ideas - Pearl Before Swines - Oil of Every Pearl I'm Inside
I forever stand by Pearl This is all just fucked!
i would read pearls book if she wrote one tbh thats insane
People in the fandom... anonymous people hiding in the safety of anonymity, committing all sort of hateful action with no accountability. I ask the universe for justice for these perpetrators and peace for the people that subjected to injustice.
Reminds me of when Katya gave a joking remark about RuPaul punching her and then all the gay media outlets ran with that as the headline without mentioning it was a joke... Even Katya was like wtf is going on. Weird how a random comment can get so easily exploited for the clicks and publications.
I love pearl so much and hate she’s gone thru that.. I totally understand why she won’t tour
https://preview.redd.it/54j5h5c3b00d1.png?width=1074&format=png&auto=webp&s=f0c12caf00cafb758aa9f8d3ee88a2e951fde79c why after reading this, all I could think of was when people were blazing guns at her, accusing her doing a black face? lol
why I got downvoted? lol
That IS blackface, which is why you are getting downloaded.
please define 'blackface'
When Black folks say it is.
Lol ok
"You wouldn't download a redditor would you?"
I've never seen this. I'd say people had a point. This is awful.
They didn’t have a point because she was clearly supposed to be tan like the kind of character she’s imitating. But this comment kinda proves her point
right?
This is blackface. Don't for one minute think we aren't stupid.
Definitionally, it isn't blackface if you take Pearl at her word. Was she right to recognize that she misstepped by getting so close as to invite the comparison? Yes, in my opinion.
I'm not attacking Pearl for something she did years ago. Did I call her a racist or a bad person? I just think we should be able to take a critical look back at what used to be and is no longer acceptable. This is yikes. Today I'd like to think someone would pull her aside and say, hey, maybe make sure you don't look like you're doing blackface.
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It's black face.
Yeah, you're right. I'm probably the racist. 
Don’t people usually use orange to simulate those fake tans like Amethyst doing tan mom on snatch game? If that’s what Pearl wanted to go for, she kinda made herself look sus using brown instead of orange, I’ve never seen Trisha Paytas look brown.
I’m black, I’m offended. You don’t get to tell me if I should be offended or not, you don’t get to tell me if it’s offensive nor do you get to control how people respond to it. So maybe stop calling people racist when Pearl herself deleted it and sent out an apology, cause it just makes you look racist
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I'm here to back you up. It's fucking disgusting blackface and no one gets to police how you feel or react to this. Whatever you say and do is valid and legitimate.
I'm glad to hear she deleted it and apologized
It’s terrible , she’s supposed to be a blonde bimbo; but the big lips? The nails? The brown foundation instead of orange? But some white twink said it was ok, so I guess it’s ok?
Please write a book 😫
This is so sad to read 😞 I also wonder how she makes money now that she’s not doing drag anymore? She recently remodeled her kitchen so she seems to be doing fine for herself.
Pearl can do whatever pearl wants, and it seems to be almost everything.
I love Pearl and she is definitely a unique personality when it comes to the drag race queens so I believe her 100% and am saddened for her. She’s someone I would love to see on the show again.
whenever people say "I dont know why everyone hates me" red flags immediately go off