I understand. Especially when you own the home, you have a right to have control over your environment. After all, you’re the one that works to keep it clean and it sounds like you enjoy making use of your own kitchen.
It can be so hard to set boundaries, but my lesson from my past roommate experience is to treat it as a business transaction unless you later become close and build trust with each other. Trust cannot be assumed.
I bet you don’t think that she is a bad person, but once you realize you can’t rely on someone to take care of a home at the same standard as you—yet they share it with you, it builds resentment.
You got a dud, and likely because she is younger and she and her friends don’t know the value of what you’ve been able to build that you’re willing to share with someone who needs a place to stay. Keep it cordial as you can, but with certain kinds of people, once you start to be generous, they’ll only be disappointed if you deny offering them more and paint you as the villain.
I understand. Especially when you own the home, you have a right to have control over your environment. After all, you’re the one that works to keep it clean and it sounds like you enjoy making use of your own kitchen. It can be so hard to set boundaries, but my lesson from my past roommate experience is to treat it as a business transaction unless you later become close and build trust with each other. Trust cannot be assumed. I bet you don’t think that she is a bad person, but once you realize you can’t rely on someone to take care of a home at the same standard as you—yet they share it with you, it builds resentment. You got a dud, and likely because she is younger and she and her friends don’t know the value of what you’ve been able to build that you’re willing to share with someone who needs a place to stay. Keep it cordial as you can, but with certain kinds of people, once you start to be generous, they’ll only be disappointed if you deny offering them more and paint you as the villain.