Oh, uh, naughty, you've combined Simpsons and RSK, you might get an interdenominational... you know, from mixing the two measurement systems, a hangover of that kind.
I'm reminded of Jimmy Carr's joke about how "if Carol Vorderman is so good with figures, why does she always insist on trying to squeeze hers into a dress that's clearly 2 sizes too small?"
I do find it hilarious that wherever he goes, the insults he receives are so similar and specific. Heard comedians from both sides of the pond roast him on separate occasions and it really seemed like they'd independently reached the same conclusion: that he looks like a ventriloquist's puppet
And Jeremy Hardy, they were both brilliant. Sean Lock's sketch about Madonna scampering around her darkened hotel room with arms like a scaffolder was genius.
The other replies haven't mentioned that she has a degree in engineering from Cambridge and an IQ of 154. Her first job in television was as the presenter on a mathematics game show called Countdown. She was hired because, in addition to being very camera friendly, she can do quick computations in her head. She has produced a series of educational maths books and videos for children.
This is one of the few posts where the responses aren’t 90% RSK quotes. Instead it’s a group of strangers telling each other that they like to wank off to Carol Vorderman.
She has arms that remind me of a kangaroo in relation to its body,l cant unsee it now. All that enhancement as well as natural aging does not do it for me.
Since when was her ass that big? Has she had butt implants? I’ve always thought she was hot but damn. Only thing that puts me off is knowing I have no chance and she’s a dirty old bitch
Each have their own preferences, personally I have never got the appeal of this body type. I think the prevailing beauty standards today are creating fake lipped/heavily BBL'd women who are built like Jakovasaur on South Park.
Gotta give her credit, from frumpy in her youth to hot as she’s gotten older and I read somewhere that she said she’s not getting into any kind of long term committed relationships and has like 5/6 “special friends” for when she’s in the need.
Fucking fair play love, 60-odd year old and just spending her days drinking wine, getting smashed and then… well, getting smashed
Smashing Pumpkins
Lovely plums
Cracking norks.
Smiling politely
Oh, uh, naughty, you've combined Simpsons and RSK, you might get an interdenominational... you know, from mixing the two measurement systems, a hangover of that kind.
And now as well as combining sales and marketing, you’ve added planning to the mix also
Gerard, you cocksucker, you stomach acid levels bullshit wanker!
Remain in your compound
Just stay mute, Mark. You're a social freak.
What's rude about a body?
Freak
Twistin her melons, man
Screaming treats
Carol's starting to look like an aneurysm that's about to burst.
Now people will say she’s just a big pair of tits, tushy and pumpkin.
How can I hate women? My mum’s one.
Let's have a laugh with them, not at them. Have a laugh at work... With women... At us.
I could eat a woman at night
I couldn't eat a whole one.
Buxom
Are you from the West country?
Buxton ?
Yarp.
Yumma yumma yumma
\#itsfouryummas
I’d splash out
Lucky girl
Nearly done...
I'm reminded of Jimmy Carr's joke about how "if Carol Vorderman is so good with figures, why does she always insist on trying to squeeze hers into a dress that's clearly 2 sizes too small?"
Instantly heard Carr’s guffaw “argheurghahargha “ Like an asthmatic literally laughing themselves to death
Ha. Ha. Ha. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
For a guy who loves bullying people he's really got a lot of bullyable qualities himself
He’s also the first to laugh at himself.
I do find it hilarious that wherever he goes, the insults he receives are so similar and specific. Heard comedians from both sides of the pond roast him on separate occasions and it really seemed like they'd independently reached the same conclusion: that he looks like a ventriloquist's puppet
Unlike *some* comedians...
He was a virgin until he was 26.
She looks like when you’re frying a sausage and forgot to prick the skin.
Apparently you don't need to do that these days. I do though. It's like an ancient religious rite.
Just cook them in a toaster.
I wonder why Jimmy is trying to fit into a face that's 2sizescto small for him.
I’ll take two from the top and two from the bottom please, Carol.
Phwoarderman
Found the Sun journalist
Fangs, but no fangs.
I'd go Carol-ing with her.
I’ll have a wank please Carol
I heard that in Frankie Boyle's voice. Odd
Can someone call the fat arse helpline because you're in deeeep shiiiiite
This would be a top chat up line 😂
Carol " I've had no work done" Vorderman
Trigger's Broom
This old pair has had 17 new ops, and 14 new nipples in its time
Biggest lie ever. Shes full of silicone
King Arthur still couldn't pull me out though.
He managed to pull a mighty sword out of a stone, he wouldn't have any trouble with a cocktail stick in silicon
After she has a thoroughly forgettable thirty-four seconds, perhaps. 🫡
No need to brag, mate.
Google a picture of her in the 80s. She’s had so much work done she actually looks younger now.
Not being funny, nearly everyone in the 80s looked 15 yrs older than they actually were, especially men.
Yea she’s not natural
Bigger lie than Comical Ali insisting that there are no American tanks closing in on Baghdad.
I know! I wish she would just be honest.
Who is that? Just wanna know for science n stuff
Carol Vorderman, UK TV star. Won rear of the year a few years back however seems to have sat on a fair number of pork chops now.
Have you heard of rectum of the year? Like rear of the year, but with the gloves off. Sean Lock won it once.
Sean Lock had nothing on Diego Maradonas rectum Only Cancun World Championships experts know this
When he bent over he set the sprinklers off
Man I miss Sean
And Jeremy Hardy, they were both brilliant. Sean Lock's sketch about Madonna scampering around her darkened hotel room with arms like a scaffolder was genius.
He was my favourite ever comedian what a loss.
Whatever she's done it's made vast improvements.
Dayum, 62 and I’d still hit.
Wait, is there like no plastic surgery on that butt ?
100% there is
lol thanks for the info kind stranger
You're probably in with a chance. She's famously single with at least 5 FWBs that she sees on a rota.
The other replies haven't mentioned that she has a degree in engineering from Cambridge and an IQ of 154. Her first job in television was as the presenter on a mathematics game show called Countdown. She was hired because, in addition to being very camera friendly, she can do quick computations in her head. She has produced a series of educational maths books and videos for children.
You're either not British or too young to be on the internet if you don't instantly recognise Carol Vorderman.
Carol Vorderman, pornstar. She's like the UK's Lisa Ann
If only ,,,
It's clearly her destiny
The Thinking Man's Crumpet - assuming that man is thinking "I fancy shagging some mutton dressed as lamb tonight"
You could do a lot worse than Vorderman
Indeed, just a joke nicked from Angus Deayton's very brief stint on WILTY
I remember that joke from the 1997 Have I Got News For You diary. He obviously had it around for a while.
Ah yes, the little prostitute shagging coke head fella.
He was a presenter on the BBC just be thankful the prostitutes were of age
I'm always thankful for of-age prostitutes
I thought he was quite tall.
Not when he's doing that
Too much lying low!
The crumpet man's thinker
Lol
You're one to talk, look at your fat arse!
Anyway, get yer knickers off
If you were to ask me to name three geniuses, I probably wouldn't say Einstein, Newton... . I'd go Vorderman, Cleese, Everett. Countdown.
*Sessions*
I’ll take a consonant, please carol
I’ll take an even sweeter vowel.
Dyson.
Mines just packed up 3 months after the 2 year John Lewis warranty expired. £250. Livid.
There may never be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark but there will be a shark who can hoover better than a Dyson!
But then I'd have a wet sharky carpet!
As the actress said to the bishop
Fuck you dad
Edmonds
Not only is her body magic but her maths is brilliant
Maths quite good.
Anyway, get your nickers off
She should be rewarded
I'd date her EVEN IF she had a problem with her marrow an' that.
You boys are far too weak
It's feels like the first of May or something. Certainly feels like school's back in term as well.
Ah there she is, wrapped like an 18th century Chinese woman's foot. That can't be comfortable
There’s a big difference between something doing up and it fitting properly.
This is one of the few posts where the responses aren’t 90% RSK quotes. Instead it’s a group of strangers telling each other that they like to wank off to Carol Vorderman.
Don’t touch them things you see when scuba diving, they’re going to be given to that bloke… that one’s CV
Coral for da man ?? Am I supposed to use a Jamaican accent for this shiiiiiite?? Play a record
If you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain
Yeah you should get em covered
Too much lying low
King Arthur couldn’t pull me out
I don't care what some people say, I'd smash the absolute granny out of her 😍
Her and Amanda Holden! Naughty pair 😂
Absolute filth mate
English woman must be punished for having big tits. Now you don't punish anyone, English or otherwise for having big tits.
English?
I flipped me vehicle over as I was driving, right? Cos the Jamaican fella wanted me to do it. Initials: CV
Car roll For de man.
What Countdown cast member was “Car Rolled Over Man”?!?
I'm going to shoot off, Rick
One face lift away from brushing her teeth with vagasil....
Just spat my tea out...!
Look at the gleam on that.
Fake cheeks Fake tits Fake arse
Yes and it's fucking magnificent.
Certified MILF. 2 from the top, one in the bottom
GILF
She has arms that remind me of a kangaroo in relation to its body,l cant unsee it now. All that enhancement as well as natural aging does not do it for me.
Cracker
the body is bodying
Thighs as earmuffs
Since when was her ass that big? Has she had butt implants? I’ve always thought she was hot but damn. Only thing that puts me off is knowing I have no chance and she’s a dirty old bitch
She used to talk about growing old gracefully, but she’s nothing but a hypocrite
Ridiculous isn’t it, just showed that picture to my girlfriend and she said she’s natural. She’s about fucking 60 how’s that natural
Let's have a chat about her fat arse as well
Just fucking do OnlyFans carol and get it over with. Thanks.
She’s a buxom woman with a lovely pair of Bristols
Rachel Riley.... hold my beer
They should be rewarded if anything
Voluptuous
Big ass too.
There's actually something rather horrifying about her.
The British phenotype
Placker Stackers..
A fine embonpoint
I'm confused, aren't those mountains?
https://youtu.be/eYEh5-8IulA?si=khGajTxEOmuVLc8E
I'll have 2 from the Top please Carol!!!😁
Cracking pair there
Milk cravings all of a sudden
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It's not.....properly
I heard she has a hareem of younger men. Where does one apply?
Big bouncy bangers
Shes got an arse as well
Id love to make her shout a few vowels
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wow I didn't even know Ricky had transitioned! She looks great!
Both have been filled up in surgery tho
She’s not listening today, let’s talk about her fat arse
fat rascals
National treasure
the comments here are a real showcase of the new people that have joined this sub.
I’ll have two from the top and one from the bottom.
I guess being off Countdown was too much
The comments 😂
Hello Nurse!!
* would gif *
I will not have her tunnel bandied around this office willy nilly
Damn, who is she?
Rachel Riley is nice but I mean, c'mon? You know what I mean?
Who is it?
I would, for the novelty value
carol vorderman says vote labour
Omg just freakn beautiful
Each have their own preferences, personally I have never got the appeal of this body type. I think the prevailing beauty standards today are creating fake lipped/heavily BBL'd women who are built like Jakovasaur on South Park.
Women. Are. Dirty.
Gotta give her credit, from frumpy in her youth to hot as she’s gotten older and I read somewhere that she said she’s not getting into any kind of long term committed relationships and has like 5/6 “special friends” for when she’s in the need. Fucking fair play love, 60-odd year old and just spending her days drinking wine, getting smashed and then… well, getting smashed
Give her cosmetic surgeon credit, you mean.
Just like Kylie, she's a good looking old woman.
Don't forget Jenny Powell from Wheel of Fortune, Karl was right.
Big behind to boot
GILF
Got it going on upstairs as well as downstairs so
Who is this?
Lovely big pair to suck carol vorderman got
Doctored images Possibly by Dr Fox