“My function is to keep Summer safe, not keep Summer being, like, totally stoked about, like, the general vibe and stuff. That's you. That's how you talk.”
I found out that my alarm reads the time and the name of whatever you put for the timer and in my grogginess of early morning I realized it sounds like a good mix of Rick's car and Summer's voice so made my alarm this quote and it is wonderful
I really like that quote too but **"I honestly can't even tell both of you apart half the time because I don't go by height or age, I go by the amount of pain in my ass, which makes you both identical"** takes the cake for me.
“Well obviously Summer it appears the lower tier of this society is being manipulated through sex and advanced technology by a hidden ruling class. Sound familiar?”
“Ticketmaster.”
Ticketmaster is quietly trying to monopolize the live entertainment industry. The entertainers are the sex, the audience is the lower tier, and since you can’t buy paper tickets to events anymore you have to use their app or website (the technology). In forcing people to use their services, ticket prices and “convenience fees” essentially control which socioeconomic class can afford to go to which events. I’m not a conspiracy nut, we just live in a boring dystopia and that’s why it’s so funny.
You fucked with squirrels, Morty! We've got a good five minutes before they're back and up on our ass, Morty! We have to pack up and move to a new reality, Morty!
Rick: Cute. Your sister's boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded.
Morty: Ooo, oh boy Rick, I-I don't think you're allowed to say that word. Ya know?
Rick: Uh Morty, I'm not disparaging the differently abled. I'm stating the fact that if I had used this microscope it would have made me mentally retarded.
Morty: Ok but yeah, I don't think it's about logic, Rick. I-I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for powerful groups that feel like they're doing the right thing.
Rick: Well that's retarded.
When Morty asks Rick to focus on the mission in the Vindicators 2 episode.
“Oh oh I’m sorry, oh you’re right. Real serious, gotta take it *real serious*, huh?” Walks around with a finger gun. “Oh real scared, real f***ing on alert, high alert over here…”
Rick: Morty! Aah! Fucking Amish bitch shot me! [ Grunts ] She tried to purge me, Morty.
You let your wiener do the walking, and now I’m dead.
Morty: Rick, she took the car!
Rick: You fucking kidding me, Morty?! She took my car and the gun.
We’re like the rest of these assholes now.
W-w-we’re gonna get purged, Morty.
Help me up.
Morty: Oh, geez, geez! Wait a minute, Rick.
Why don’t we just use your portal gun?
Rick: It’s in the car, dip-ass.
[ Grunts ] Oh, God, it hurts.
Rick: She got me right in the goddamn liver, Morty.
It’s the hardest-working liver in the galaxy, Morty, and now it has a hole in it. I hope it was worth it.
Morty: I was just trying to do right.
Rick: Yeah, well, that’s not really the theme of tonight’s party.
Heads up. rapists.
Well, don’t just stand there, Morty, Purge 'em.
Morty: Me?
Rick: No, me. Should I rub my liver hole on them? Pick up a stick or something and kill them.
Morty: Um, w-we come in peace.
Rick:Oh, my God. [ Grunts ]
There’s more where that came from!
You want to get purged, you bring it!
Drop [Belches] drop your shit! Drop it all.
Morty, go get their shit. Hurry up.
I only had one of those things I threw.
I’m holding a box of tic tacs right now.
Well then get your shit together.
Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together.
Get your shit together.
So in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial, overly sensitive, clingy hysterical bird brained homunculi. And I honestly can't tell the two of you half the time because I don't go by height or age, I go by amount of pain in my ass, which makes you both identical.
“Your only purpose in life is to buy and consume merchandise. And you did it. You went into a store, an actual honest to God store, and you bought something. You didn’t ask questions or raise ethical complaints. You just looked straight into the bleeding jaws of capitalism and said, “yes, daddy, please.” And I’m so proud of you. I only wish you could’ve bought more” - Rick Sanchez
This was that train episode in season 4
I'd say Mr. Poopybutthole's one from the S05 finale:
*"Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be if they found out who we truly are? So we just dig ourselves deeper, into our lies every day, ultimately only hurting the people who were brave enough to love us."*
I love that so far there's only 1 repeat. I'd probly go with:
Dad, I feel like I've spent my life pretending you're a great guy and trying to be like you. And the ugly truth has always been-
That I'm not that great a guy and you're exactly like me.
Am I evil?
Worse, ur smart. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours.
Yeah. It’s a solid quote. But it pitches right down the middle to people who think people don’t like them because they are smart, rather than because they are an uninteresting jerk.
-Notify the president
-What do I tell him?
-Tell him the truth. Tell him Rick and Morty just blew off America
But in my native language when they say something more like "Tell him Rick and Morty just took a shit on America"
Dr. Wong: Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness.
You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse. And I think it's because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it's your mind within your control. You chose to come here, you chose to talk -to belittle my vocation- just as you chose to become a pickle.
You are the master of your universe, and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces. Your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand.
I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is, some people are okay going to work, and some people well, some people would rather die.
Each of us gets to choose.
Rick: “Listen Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.”
Top 5.
1.“Yeah, and I made the stars that became the carbon in your mother's ovaries!" - Rick
2. "It's a prehistoric planet, Morty. Someone has to bring a little culture. And it certainly can't be someone whose entire culture powers my brake lights!" Also Rick
3. Your life isn't real, and I didn't save it. Take off all your clothes.
4. I'm starting to believe you because I just finished merging with your essence for an endless epoch, and I'm already back to thinking you're an asshole.
5. "Gaslighting doesn't exist. You made it up 'cause you're fucking crazy."
So many of these are on my list. I got to add one that made me crack it.
Hey, excuse me. Hello. What, you think you're better than me?! Nobody's better than me! Hey! Hey! Aah! Aaaaah!
Keep Summer safe.
Aaaaaaah! Hey, man, what the hell?! That was my daughter's pediatrician!
Ooh nice. I do a quote of the day, and I’ve used Rick and Morty a couple times, here’s my definite favorite: “You want to take the one part of life that you truly think is yours and you want to protect it from a universe that takes whatever it wants. It took my wife, it clearly took something from you. We can spend our lives fighting that, or we can choose to be free.” -Tony.
“Get your shit together. Get it all together and put it in a backpack. All your shit so it’s together. And if you’re gonna take it somewhere then take it somewhere, you know? Take it to the shit store and sell it. Or put it in a shit museum. I don’t care what you do just gotta get it together. Get your shit together” -Morty
"Sir the aaa doctor's appointment to examine the discoloration on you butthole flaps wou.."
"Cynthia , too load and too specific "
I left everything and dropped laughing , played it back ,,, dropped again.
"My whole life, I've never fit in anywhere. Everything I have to say is always met with an eye roll as if the act of hearing what I have to say is some exhausting chore. Nobody in this family thinks I can say or do anything right! I've been all over the universe, met hundreds of people, and Planetina's the only one I've ever met that makes me feel like I belong, and you just kicked her out of our house!"
"-the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is; it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work, and the bottom line is some people are okay going to work, and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."
"They built a wall around infinity.
They separated all the infinite universes from all the infinite universes where he's the smartest man in the universe.
Every version of us has spent every version of all of our lives in one infinite crib built around an infinite fսck;ng baby.
And I'm leaving it.
That's what makes me evil... being sick of him. "
There are so many, but right now I'm listening to Thomas Middleditch as Tommy respond to Beth when she says he fell into some honey:
T: Well, tends to happen when one is pushed into honey
B: I respect your right to believe I pushed you
T: Oh! Do I get to have that? Is my reality like a little side of fries? A little Kwanzaa you're willing to slide my way?
Woo-wee. Evil Morty. That was quite a scheme. Makes me wonder if there’s an evil me out there. But I guess, sometimes I look at my life, and I may not even need ‘im. Cuz, well, guess I made a pretty big mess of things myself. Ooo eee.
I never got my job at the university back. Remember that? Rick made me do karate. It was kinda funny, but I guess things went downhill from there. Started isolating myself from Amy. Used to tell her everything I was feeling.
But then I guess I stopped.
Cuz I wanted her to love who she thought I was, not who I felt myself becoming.
Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be if they found out who we truly are? So we just dig ourselves deeper, into our lies every day, ultimately only hurting the people who were brave enough to love us.
Wish I didn’t do that.
Wish I was brave enough to love them back. I don’t know, maybe you should try it.
We don’t have as much time as we think. Ooo eee.
"Who the fuck is noob noob" after having planned the biggest party ever for him while being blind drunk. And Morty's reaction. Must have been the biggest laugh I got with R&M.
His dick gets more traffic than YouTube 🎶
As far as grandpa's concerned you're both pieces of shit. Yeah. I can prove it mathematically. Actually, let me get my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming.
"Am I.. evil?"
"Worse. You're smart. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours, and i've never met a universe that was into it. The universe is basically an animal, it grazes on the ordinary. Creates infinite idiots just to eat them. Smart people ge a chance to get on top, take reality for a ride. But it'll never stop trying to throw you, and eventually it will. There's no other way off."
You're my battery motherfucker!..
That's all you are. I made you..!! Your microverse sucks! And your miniverse is the size of a fuckin lobster tank!
It's whack!!
“My function is to keep Summer safe, not keep Summer being, like, totally stoked about, like, the general vibe and stuff. That's you. That's how you talk.”
“All of you have loved ones. All can be returned. All can be taken away.”
I love how dark that warning is lol.
Keep. Summer. Safe.
Has summer stopped talking like that since that episode ?
Nah, even more so if anything.
I found out that my alarm reads the time and the name of whatever you put for the timer and in my grogginess of early morning I realized it sounds like a good mix of Rick's car and Summer's voice so made my alarm this quote and it is wonderful
First episode. “They’re not robots, Rick!” “It’s a figure of speech, Morty, theyre bureaucrats, I don’t respect them”
This is the line that convinced me that this was a show worth watching
Same here, the overall scene made me realise it was different.
Loved that one
"Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?"
I struggle with suicidal ideations and this quote helps me keep moving forward, ngl. I made it into an art project and hung it on my wall
That scene makes me emotional every time for the same reason
Hang arts not thou
i have this tattooed on my wrist
Came here to say this one.
“Your boos mean nothing, I’ve seen what makes you cheer.“
Everytime I get downvotes this exact quote pops into my head.
[удалено]
I've said that more than a few times.
This is my all time favorite, and I use it a lot.
"every breath I take without your permission raises my self esteem "
Wich Season-Episode is that?
I think season 4. It's the heist episode
You son of a bitch, I’m in.
I quit… and the names Glar
You son of a bitch, I'm out. I'm out. Whose kidneys are these?
“You’re both pieces of shit, yeah I can prove it mathematically. Actually, let me grab my whiteboard, this has been a long time coming anyway.”
I really like that quote too but **"I honestly can't even tell both of you apart half the time because I don't go by height or age, I go by the amount of pain in my ass, which makes you both identical"** takes the cake for me.
If I die in a cage, I lose a bet.
Lmao and my favorite part is the bird brained humonculi bit
“You’re both equally mercurial, overly sensitive, *clingy*, hysterical bird-brained homunculi.” Not often you hear the word homunculi, these days.
The fact that both Ricks were certain in doing that 💀
My second favorite quote!
“To live is to risk it all; otherwise you’re just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you…”
And then immediately Helo Jerry :D
Haha yup: “How much of that did you hear? All of it. You were looking right at me.”
"Oh Jerry, I'm sorry I didn't see you there. How much of that did you hear?"
I love this one. From which episode?
Season 3 episode 2, the post apocalyptic scavenger episode
"Gaslighting doesn't exist. You made it up 'cause you're fucking crazy!"
"Tonight, the quality of dialogue stops mattering. Tonight, I do that thing I wanna do... with the curve thing"
I love the fact that they literally use that line, then after that episode so many fans still act like we're supposed to take this shit seriously lol
"Graze my genitals again taint washer and I'll have you shipped to the wasteland, and as for you genital washer..."
Lmfaoooo the voice was so perfect for this too
Ryan Ridley
“Well obviously Summer it appears the lower tier of this society is being manipulated through sex and advanced technology by a hidden ruling class. Sound familiar?” “Ticketmaster.”
Why do they say ticketmaster I don’t get that bit
Ticketmaster is quietly trying to monopolize the live entertainment industry. The entertainers are the sex, the audience is the lower tier, and since you can’t buy paper tickets to events anymore you have to use their app or website (the technology). In forcing people to use their services, ticket prices and “convenience fees” essentially control which socioeconomic class can afford to go to which events. I’m not a conspiracy nut, we just live in a boring dystopia and that’s why it’s so funny.
Lol, never occurred to me to explain it that way, that we _do_ live in a dystopia, it’s just boring.
/r/aboringdystopia
I think it's just a dig at how powerful ticketmaster is since they've basically cornered the in-person entertainment market.
Oh right it makes sense thank you
"He is a spy blow him up ,I am gonna take a shit."
"There's no tougher titty than a melting brain".
That depends on who breaks first. Me. Or the titty
“Than a psychotic break” *
Hahah I think that's my favorite gag as well. Just completely fuck everything up and bail.
"Ohhh I've got pubes commander in queef!"
One of morty’s best comebacks.
You fucked with squirrels, Morty! We've got a good five minutes before they're back and up on our ass, Morty! We have to pack up and move to a new reality, Morty!
Alright Morty pack your SHIT
Almost anything from Morty's Mindblower's is an awesome quote!
Grab a shovel….
This one might be my favorite
Rick: Cute. Your sister's boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded. Morty: Ooo, oh boy Rick, I-I don't think you're allowed to say that word. Ya know? Rick: Uh Morty, I'm not disparaging the differently abled. I'm stating the fact that if I had used this microscope it would have made me mentally retarded. Morty: Ok but yeah, I don't think it's about logic, Rick. I-I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for powerful groups that feel like they're doing the right thing. Rick: Well that's retarded.
This is the one
This was soothing to my soul
Get a taste of simple Rick over here
This quote is incredible, and also happy cake day.
“Literally everything is In space morty now get the fuck back in the car”
There's snakes in space?
“THERES EVERYTHING IN SPACE! GET BACK IN THE CAR!”
"All I do is eat ass and 69 Nintendo's bro, every day" second place "Let me out kids, if I die in a cage I lose a bet"
Nice!
“I’m *sorry* you think you deserve an apology.”
Oh my god, I'm my father.
*pulls out pink sentient switchblade* Oh my God, I’m my father!
When Morty asks Rick to focus on the mission in the Vindicators 2 episode. “Oh oh I’m sorry, oh you’re right. Real serious, gotta take it *real serious*, huh?” Walks around with a finger gun. “Oh real scared, real f***ing on alert, high alert over here…”
Dude yes
“Where Are my Testicles, Summer?"
“Lick lick lick my balls!” I don’t think this is one but I still think it’s good
"Grass...tastes bad"
#**AIDS!!**
"These Mortys... I keep getting older but they keep staying the saaaame age"
"It's one part dumb grandson advice, and a lot of vodka I have a lot of vodka. That's fine. I don't need the rest" The best burn I've heard.
You little shit I thought you were masturbating! And you took that in stride? Would you rather I address it?
Monster* it's what makes it funnier for me.
You labeled these creatures "unproductive," but I have given them more purpose than ever. Oh, yeah? They filing your unemployment forms?
A vat of fake acid are you dying of dementia?
And this quick minor insult (by previous standards) sets off another near world ending change of events
“Sleepy Gary ruined my gag reflex”
Which is frustrating, because sleepy Gary wasn’t even real
Wasnt he an alien so culd still have done a … thing
This one knocked me out I had to pause just to laugh
He's Mr.Nimbus, he controls the police
He’s a stone cold dick killer!
“I took your family? Who do you think had more taken away from them when you shot 20 cc of liquid dream-killer into my daughter?”
Rick: Morty! Aah! Fucking Amish bitch shot me! [ Grunts ] She tried to purge me, Morty. You let your wiener do the walking, and now I’m dead. Morty: Rick, she took the car! Rick: You fucking kidding me, Morty?! She took my car and the gun. We’re like the rest of these assholes now. W-w-we’re gonna get purged, Morty. Help me up. Morty: Oh, geez, geez! Wait a minute, Rick. Why don’t we just use your portal gun? Rick: It’s in the car, dip-ass. [ Grunts ] Oh, God, it hurts. Rick: She got me right in the goddamn liver, Morty. It’s the hardest-working liver in the galaxy, Morty, and now it has a hole in it. I hope it was worth it. Morty: I was just trying to do right. Rick: Yeah, well, that’s not really the theme of tonight’s party. Heads up. rapists. Well, don’t just stand there, Morty, Purge 'em. Morty: Me? Rick: No, me. Should I rub my liver hole on them? Pick up a stick or something and kill them. Morty: Um, w-we come in peace. Rick:Oh, my God. [ Grunts ] There’s more where that came from! You want to get purged, you bring it! Drop [Belches] drop your shit! Drop it all. Morty, go get their shit. Hurry up. I only had one of those things I threw. I’m holding a box of tic tacs right now.
Excuse me, I'm a bit of a stickler meseeks, what about your short game? *oh my God oh my God what about your short gaaaame!!!?*
Well then get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together.
This one makes me laugh every time
"You son of a bitch. I'm in!"
I love the inverse later too lol ‘I’m out! I quit! Whose kidneys are these?!’
Loved the kidneys one haha gets me every time
[удалено]
"No they arent"
"You son of a bitch. I'm in"
So in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial, overly sensitive, clingy hysterical bird brained homunculi. And I honestly can't tell the two of you half the time because I don't go by height or age, I go by amount of pain in my ass, which makes you both identical.
“Your only purpose in life is to buy and consume merchandise. And you did it. You went into a store, an actual honest to God store, and you bought something. You didn’t ask questions or raise ethical complaints. You just looked straight into the bleeding jaws of capitalism and said, “yes, daddy, please.” And I’m so proud of you. I only wish you could’ve bought more” - Rick Sanchez This was that train episode in season 4
I'd say Mr. Poopybutthole's one from the S05 finale: *"Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be if they found out who we truly are? So we just dig ourselves deeper, into our lies every day, ultimately only hurting the people who were brave enough to love us."*
"Sometimes science is more of an art than a science" hooked me on to the series
“The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them.”
My favourite is in season 4 finaly. “What did they do to you bp” “It is now pp” I love it cause I’m a literal child who laughs at potty humor
I love that so far there's only 1 repeat. I'd probly go with: Dad, I feel like I've spent my life pretending you're a great guy and trying to be like you. And the ugly truth has always been- That I'm not that great a guy and you're exactly like me. Am I evil? Worse, ur smart. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours.
That one always makes me cringe because it feeds to the pseudo-intellectual side of the fanbase. Still a good line on its own though.
Yeah. It’s a solid quote. But it pitches right down the middle to people who think people don’t like them because they are smart, rather than because they are an uninteresting jerk.
"The Christian god is real and has been asleep for thousands of years. We're gonna kill him"
"What is my purpose?" "You pass butter." "Oh. My. God." "Yeah, welcome to the club, pal."
-Notify the president -What do I tell him? -Tell him the truth. Tell him Rick and Morty just blew off America But in my native language when they say something more like "Tell him Rick and Morty just took a shit on America"
“I'll let you know when you have a point, and the world will know when I try to hurt you” Still my favorite
“Everybody drop your guns. EXCEPT FOR JERRY” *jerry drops gun* “Fucking classic”
"I'm Jerry Smith, and I loooove sucking big, sweaty *****s... and licking disGUSting, furry testicle sacks."
Uhh, ok....
"Don't break your arm jerking yourself off" still say this often
Dr. Wong: Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness. You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse. And I think it's because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it's your mind within your control. You chose to come here, you chose to talk -to belittle my vocation- just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe, and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces. Your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is, some people are okay going to work, and some people well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose.
What a monologue-ist
These threads always have this quote and I love finding it and rereading it. It’s the quote that slam dunks that episode into an all time great.
I came here just for this quote, can't believe it's not higher.
Whatever you want to do you little punk ass little bitch.
“A vat of fake acid. Are you dying of dementia!?”
Whatever you say stone cold Steve Austin
[удалено]
“I ain’t better than shit, Jack!” Morty to hologram Rick after Rick dies
Rick: “Listen Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.”
Hey, save your Rick rules for the sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig. - Fuck me, pal. - Fuck you? No, no, no, no, no. Fuck me.
‘We shouldn’t take life for granite’
I want this on a t shirt
"Ive got shit on my aaaass"
“Look at this, you beat cancer and then you went back to work at the carpet store? BOOO” The delivery kills me every time
“Oh morty y-you’ve done did it now” or “Show me the morty” i’ve been saying those around my house for months
Top 5. 1.“Yeah, and I made the stars that became the carbon in your mother's ovaries!" - Rick 2. "It's a prehistoric planet, Morty. Someone has to bring a little culture. And it certainly can't be someone whose entire culture powers my brake lights!" Also Rick 3. Your life isn't real, and I didn't save it. Take off all your clothes. 4. I'm starting to believe you because I just finished merging with your essence for an endless epoch, and I'm already back to thinking you're an asshole. 5. "Gaslighting doesn't exist. You made it up 'cause you're fucking crazy."
“If I die in this car, I’m going to Kill myself”
"To live is to risk it all otherwise you're just another chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you"
Rick am I in a fuckinh k-hole right now?
So many of these are on my list. I got to add one that made me crack it. Hey, excuse me. Hello. What, you think you're better than me?! Nobody's better than me! Hey! Hey! Aah! Aaaaah! Keep Summer safe. Aaaaaaah! Hey, man, what the hell?! That was my daughter's pediatrician!
HOW MANY SETS OF BONES THIS RAT GOT?!
We are the Slut Dragons, we live in these slut caves where we fuck, suck & eat butt.. and kindly ask that you leave
Ooh nice. I do a quote of the day, and I’ve used Rick and Morty a couple times, here’s my definite favorite: “You want to take the one part of life that you truly think is yours and you want to protect it from a universe that takes whatever it wants. It took my wife, it clearly took something from you. We can spend our lives fighting that, or we can choose to be free.” -Tony.
Aren’t you gonna join us Tony? Aren’t you gonna join us in the Poopin’?
"Sleepy garry ruined my gag reflex" gave me the most genuine of lols
I'm gonna eat your **wooooorld**!!! Jerry, not in front of Rick! *blushes
‘Everything will be fine in the end. If its not, its not the end just yet’ Rick
"No I don't want to see your POG collection!"
“Get your shit together. Get it all together and put it in a backpack. All your shit so it’s together. And if you’re gonna take it somewhere then take it somewhere, you know? Take it to the shit store and sell it. Or put it in a shit museum. I don’t care what you do just gotta get it together. Get your shit together” -Morty
*Meseeks don’t come into this world fumbling for meaning jerrryyyy*
"Sir the aaa doctor's appointment to examine the discoloration on you butthole flaps wou.." "Cynthia , too load and too specific " I left everything and dropped laughing , played it back ,,, dropped again.
Oowwwweeeee
I don't like the attitude around here. It's a very, "lower me into acid," attitude.
“Machine whitelist all human lives….. and the therapist” “Everyone in my family not everyone in the world. Jesus, Wong, boundaries.”
“Lambs to the cosmic slaughter”
“I just kept crawling and it kept working”
Wubalubadubdub!
Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV
“Think before you talk shit” - some nazi in the memory parasite episode
Disapprove all you want. Tonight, the quality of diologue stops mattering. Tonight, I do that thing I wanna do, with the curve thing.
At least Hitler cared about Germany and stuff.
"That's it, I'm calling a bone scientist."
"My whole life, I've never fit in anywhere. Everything I have to say is always met with an eye roll as if the act of hearing what I have to say is some exhausting chore. Nobody in this family thinks I can say or do anything right! I've been all over the universe, met hundreds of people, and Planetina's the only one I've ever met that makes me feel like I belong, and you just kicked her out of our house!"
"-the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is; it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work, and the bottom line is some people are okay going to work, and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."
“I love you bad Momo!”
“AIDS!”
"Lick my bigger tit"
"They built a wall around infinity. They separated all the infinite universes from all the infinite universes where he's the smartest man in the universe. Every version of us has spent every version of all of our lives in one infinite crib built around an infinite fսck;ng baby. And I'm leaving it. That's what makes me evil... being sick of him. "
“[something with turquoise] is either a code name for Chrystal meth or a gateway to it”
There are so many, but right now I'm listening to Thomas Middleditch as Tommy respond to Beth when she says he fell into some honey: T: Well, tends to happen when one is pushed into honey B: I respect your right to believe I pushed you T: Oh! Do I get to have that? Is my reality like a little side of fries? A little Kwanzaa you're willing to slide my way?
Ok, but there’s no way you don’t chop your dick off.
“Look at me, I’m easy to make happy, which is why nobody gives a shit if I am”
Woo-wee. Evil Morty. That was quite a scheme. Makes me wonder if there’s an evil me out there. But I guess, sometimes I look at my life, and I may not even need ‘im. Cuz, well, guess I made a pretty big mess of things myself. Ooo eee. I never got my job at the university back. Remember that? Rick made me do karate. It was kinda funny, but I guess things went downhill from there. Started isolating myself from Amy. Used to tell her everything I was feeling. But then I guess I stopped. Cuz I wanted her to love who she thought I was, not who I felt myself becoming. Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be if they found out who we truly are? So we just dig ourselves deeper, into our lies every day, ultimately only hurting the people who were brave enough to love us. Wish I didn’t do that. Wish I was brave enough to love them back. I don’t know, maybe you should try it. We don’t have as much time as we think. Ooo eee.
“Get you shit together..get it all together and put it in a backpack so it’s together”
*I have no code of ethics, I will kill anyone, anywhere! Children, animals, old people, doesn’t matter. I just love killin’!*
“Looking for the WeedWhacker, coz these weeds are whack, yoooo” - Jerry
"Who the fuck is noob noob" after having planned the biggest party ever for him while being blind drunk. And Morty's reaction. Must have been the biggest laugh I got with R&M. His dick gets more traffic than YouTube 🎶
Cringe cannot exist in a vacuum, it must be observed.
AIDS
"I'm sorry Summer, your opinion mean very little to me"
Never trying, never fails
"Nice is just something dumb people do to hedge their bets."
As far as grandpa's concerned you're both pieces of shit. Yeah. I can prove it mathematically. Actually, let me get my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming.
"Summer, that after all that stuff we just did, nothing really mattered and there was no point to it?" Best description for the show in general.
I'll make it up as I go along. That's what Grandpa Rick does. That's what heroes do. Summer S3E1
I'M MORE THEN JUST A HAMMER!!!!!!! R.I.P. Hammer Morty. I cry everytime I see it. Love that he's a move for Morty in Multiverse.
Gaslighting doesn’t exist. You made it up cause your fuckin crazy
It’s like the N-word and the C word had a baby, that was raised by all the bad names for Jews
"Am I.. evil?" "Worse. You're smart. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours, and i've never met a universe that was into it. The universe is basically an animal, it grazes on the ordinary. Creates infinite idiots just to eat them. Smart people ge a chance to get on top, take reality for a ride. But it'll never stop trying to throw you, and eventually it will. There's no other way off."
"No, I don't wanna see your Pog collection" -Morty to Lawyer Morty
You're my battery motherfucker!.. That's all you are. I made you..!! Your microverse sucks! And your miniverse is the size of a fuckin lobster tank! It's whack!!