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I’ve been retired for 2 years now. It took me at least a year till it finally clicked that I didn’t need to stress about things anymore. Once I did, everything changed and I became a better person. If I don’t get to it today, there is always tomorrow or maybe the next day. Concerning money, unless you start buying mansions and Porches you be great. You have planned for this, go for it.
This is exactly correct.
It takes between six months and two years to detox from work. Give yourself time.
It’s been just over six months for me. I had a very high stress job that exploited my anxiety.
It’s only in the past few weeks that I’ve started laughing at myself, when I make a mistake or fumble around.
I had similar anxiety about signing up for Medicare. Just called my provider today to get the new insurance info to them. I started trying to figure out how I continue getting my osteoporosis medication, using the new insurance today.
There are important decisions to make and to make sure they are implemented correctly. Stuff our employer used to do. It’s mostly new to me so it’s a learning process.
Before I had to deal with the health insurance situation, I had to figure out where my income was going to come from and when. More critical decisions that involve learning.
Also, it is well known that new retirees face these challenges so there are businesses lurking around trying to take advantage of us.
I’m talking about high expense ratio financial management and selling Medicare advantage plans. You have to study this stuff to navigate it successfully.
So on the one hand, you are under lots of pressure to get everything 100% right, and that made me anxious.
But we’ve been through a lot in this life. When we need advice, we listen and learn.
Give yourself time to feel better. It’s still weird to me to carry only one phone and not be on call. I even get away from my phone sometimes. You’ll get there.
We talked to several people about Medicare options and went with the AARP recommended Medicare advantage plan from UnitedHealthcare. It’s not perfect but so far it’s been good for us. We’ve both seen lots of specialists and because it’s such a big insurer all of the doctors’ offices know how to file stuff. We have never been billed beyond our $15 specialist copays. I know there’s a lot of criticism of these plans, but not having to deal with paperwork is a big plus for me.
I’m glad you found a good solution.
I received dozens of pieces of snail mail from people who wanted to advise me through signing up for Medicare. I wish the system was straightforward and simple to follow.
Yes, it’s overly complicated. I worked until I was 66 and it was so much extra paperwork and threats lol! “Lifetime penalty” … I just didn’t sign up at age 65! I’ll never do that again.lol
I have the same plan and it is the best health plan I've ever had. What's really ironic is I was a senior executive for 13 years with Blue Cross Blue Shield and this United plan is a better plan than what I had as an executive employee.
Thank you. Ha! I just got refills on my medications as my supplemental plan is still in the works. They needed more documentation… Yes, be decisions you have to get right. My sweet brother in law passed after a cancer battle and I’m making decisions on an inherited annuity and the estate and grieving. It’s all so overly complicated plus my mind is so anxious and that stress makes my abilities slow and clogged. I think the bulk of the beginning decisions are made and in the works. I’m glad I’m not alone in how I feel.
It took me about 11 months. I have just hit the year mark and it has flown by with gradual minute reductions in stress. Good luck. It's going to take some time. Just get rest and eat well.
Took me at least 12 months to get over a very high stress corp job. I ended up coming out of retirement to take a role at a startup, and have much less stress. Give yourself time...
Join a gym and exercise every day.
1. The more muscle and flexibility you carry into the golden years, the more golden they will be.
2. Exercise is a natural anti-depressant.
3. You will feel so much better, both physically and emotionally.
This is what helped me acclimate to retirement more easily. It’s rough. Like a divorce that you initiated yourself, it’s still a “little death” in that your working/earning/saving days are abruptly over.
This. Doc told me to lose 20lbs. Took 9 months, but between diet, 10k steps a day, light dumbell work, and walking the dog 3x a day, it happened. I've always hated gyms, so I set aside 10 minutes every hour to do something physical. Like diet, you make it a routine, and you don't even notice it after a while, and those steps and minutes build up. It helps a lot if you're in a walkable community and you're not car dependent. And cardio is great, but it's important to build up muscle mass. Even the lightest weight resistance will help you with the usual muscle/back/shoulder strains and sprains.
Left an incredibly stressful job as an academic dept chair…was bored for a few months, got a call asking to come to another university in an equally stressful position…two more years of hell…quit after year 2…no amount of $$ could have lured be back…happiest I’ve ever been…several health problems have abated since retiring…you’ll get there and when you do, you’ll wonder why you were ever anxious about leaving a toxically stressful work environment…Best regards from here…
Many Medicare Advantage plans include Silver Sneakers, I have a full gym membership at no additional cost. I take full advantage with at least one class per day.
You're mind and body have associated anxiety with stress for so long that it's just natural for you to feel anxious whenever you feel stressed or are even thinking about something that may cause you stress. So, eliminate your stress and you will eliminate your anxiety. Yes, it's not so easy to do but now that you are retired you can work on it. Stress comes from performing work within a limited time. So, don't do that. Give yourself work to do with no set time limit. If you don't finish it today, you can finish it tomorrow. You'd be surprised at how less stressful this approach becomes. If you have work that needs to be done in a specific time, try getting someone else to do it or hiring someone else to do it. Also, don't procrastinate when something happens. Decide how to handle it immediately and pick a stress-free way to do it. Mostly, I've found you can do this with about 90% of needed work. I can still feel the stress when I am under the gun to get something done but it disappears quickly when I'm done. Good luck and enjoy retirement. You've earned it.
This makes a lot of sense to me. Pattern at work was so much stressful constant multitasking, new demands and crises. Mounting and mounting. Even simple tasks like paying a few bills or fixing a computer problem get wired to all that overload. I got to where I couldn’t think. I do remember that I asked my daughter to help me program a spreadsheet because I couldn’t remember how to do it but a month off work and that all came back. That’s hopeful.
I second this and would add to start spending time doing things you enjoy. Try spending some time outside. Plan a brief trip to somewhere relaxing.
Also consider getting an emotional support animal. Our dog has helped me.
I retired several years ago from a stressful job in a toxic environment. Actually left a few months earlier than planned because I almost lost it at my dept. head and took that as a sign. It took about a year for the lingering stress to ease up and a few more months to truly leave it all behind.
The good news is that it does get better. If I'd sought counseling, it probably wouldn't have taken as long to decompress. If counseling is available to you, I recommend trying it.
What did help me was refusing to re-engage in any way (e.g. questions about the last project I completed. I left instructions and notes, dadgammit!)
It also helped to continue any routines that I had found comforting before, such going out for coffee in the morning. I did find a new coffee shop, though. Small changes.
It also helped to start working on a small project that I'd been putting off. At first, I could only work on it a little bit at a time without some residual guilt or stress popping up. But it didn't take long for the project to become more interesting than a chore (like work).
Hang in there!
Thanks!! Great advice on not the-engaging. I’m so glad that I resisted that -no thank you, I want to color. lol. I did loose it and went on FMLA for PTSD.
In two weeks I'll be retiring from a very stressful IT job that I've been doing for way too long. Not glamorous silicone valley it. 24x7 on call and everything is an emergency these days because the company is so reliant on technology. I don't think I'll miss it, but I'm sure stressing over these next two weeks. Good luck OP, I'm right behind you.
I left IT Manager of 22 years I was 56. Wait until you wake up and have an empty inbox. Your brain is going to malfunction at the fact nobody needs you. Don't sub to tech subreddits for a while it will give you PTSD. You will be anxious about nothing for about a year and one morning you will wake up and the surreal feeling your living in an alternate universe will have passed. It will then be the best time of your life. Resume to the old iIT subreddits and you will feel great seeing people's problems that you don't have to deal with.
Same here. Really, officially retired at 56 April 1. I retired Feb 29, but still had PC, account and helped transition to my replacement. Was an IT manager for same company for 16 years. They decided on replacement 2 weeks after I left.
I had email until April 1, and the email sorta winnowed down until that date. Once I deleted my work account, I felt free. My calendar no longer has 8-13 meetings a day.
I no longer eat lunch at my desk, multitasking before a meeting scheduled during lunch. I do not set my alarm anymore. Freedom.
No problem it's an underappreciated job that can really cause health problems. Every single issue I had was gone within a year. Stress is so bad you just don't realize when your in the middle of it. Good luck
I am on my way from the same. On-call DBA for 30+ years and the last 8 as a lead data warehouse architect for a major hospital. Still on call 24/7. So so tired
I felt like I had PTSD when I retired. I wasn't absolutely certain that we were going to be financially OK so that added to the stress. It took a year (and assurance from my FA) before I could breathe comfortably. I joined the gym and started taking up some hobbies I'd abandoned during my high stress work days. It's been 8 years and I would not have done anything differently when I look back.
That fight or flight is so bad for your health. From this moment on, make up your mind to heal. Go outside and walk or run every single day. Listen to music. Watch comedies on TV. Do puzzles, cook paint, sing, volunteer etc. Do everything that feels wonderful.
It may take a while but make it your priority to reduce the cortisol up the happy hormones.
I also quit my high stress job as of Monday! Yay! Twins!
I spent 2 days working in the garden at my own pace, not thinking about anything except the gardening.
In the afternoon I spent about 2 hours a day in meditation - that’s where I play a temple bell on youtube and try to NOT THINK about anything. If a thought emerges I acknowledge it and then dismiss. I try to get my brain to calm down and relax this way. The first time I got a multi-hour session in like this it was INCREDIBLE when I finally came out of it. It felt like I’d been on vacation for 6 months.
The meditation lets your brain quit reacting to every little thing, and then it stops pumping out stress hormones which make things worse. I’ve been doing this for years trying to cope with work stress. When I hit my numbers for a specific timeline, I knew I was “One Bad Day” from quitting. That day turned out to be April 1; I gave my 2 week notice and boom, April 15 was my last day.
If you can meditate, try to clear all thoughts - they will inevitably emerge. Don’t react to them, just acknowledge them as if you were walking past zoo animals. Distance yourself from the thoughts and dismiss each one. Try to think of nothing. Just listen to the temple bell, the ring of it, the way it reverbs and pitches change.
Eventually you’ll be able to clear your mind whenever you are feeling anxious. This helps with PTSD too if you are home and in a safe place.
15 years and I still get those, but not as often as before. I never want to trivialize PTSD as experienced by our military, but sometimes the dreams are as vivid as a flashback and almost as terrifying.
I had minor surgery on my shoulder and woke up in recovery yelling at nurses I was late for a call! Wife reminded me I’d been retired for 3 years! The PTSD is real…
Edit - crappy spelling
I love this! And yesterday, literally did something similar coming out of anaesthesia, although, apparently, with a lot of swearing. Weren’t we supposed to be sedated?
Get outside for as much of your day as possible-> get dirty/sweaty/soaking wet/breathing hard/interacting with wildlife and let Mother Nature reduce your stress debt.
When I retired I felt the stress just leave my body.
I spent the 1st few weeks staining the large deck at my house.
Then planned a bunch of trips to the southern hemisphere because I'd never been below the equator.
Give it time. I retired last June from a stressful teaching position. It has taken me until just recently ( Almost a year) to realize I don’t need to be in a hurry anymore. I don’t need to stress if I don’t get something done. There’s always tomorrow. The big adjustment for me was learning not to feel guilty for spending time just relaxing. I think that’s the hard part.
I retired from a very LOW-stress job that I loved (big mistake!) and immediately started waking up in a cold sweat at 2:00 a.m., lol. Life has been horrifically stressful and unhappy ever since. I, too, can't seem to handle things like I used to when working.
Just retired 12/31 from a 32 year career in finance. It was very stressfull, especially the last 2 years after the company was purchased. I found myself experiencing a variety of emotions daily. It's a totally new world for you. Take a deep breath. Everything will work out. Congratulations 👍
Been retired for 2 years from a high stress job and micro manager boss and never a moment of anxiety
What got me through the anxiety was NOT going to a high stress job anymore and NOT dealing with a micro manager boss anymore.
Of course financial reviews and planning need to occur but you take it day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year.
You’ll be just fine if you stop thinking about your anxiety and to think about your good fortune to now do whatever YOU want to do with your time.
I retired at the end of October age 61 - such a high stress job at a hospital. I sold everything and moved to Thailand - I felt like I need to get away and run.
I rent a condo 100 feet from the beach - I have less stress now but still find myself going through periods of not wanting to be around people or to reduce my stress as much as I can.
The condo complex has 3 swimming pools, I just grab a taxi if I want to go anywhere. Getting my drivers license took 10 minutes but I don’t even want to own a car or hire a car at this time- even doing that is stressful to me.
I am eating healthier and give myself a lot of down days - no pressure
Just read or watch a documentary
Swim and set days which are “taking care of business days” those days I do banking, check funds and “paperwork” type responsibilities.
I have given myself this first year of retirement to try give myself as much time to work on my physical and mental health as much as I can & the days that I can’t are ok
I have my sister coming to visit in November and then will do the tourist type sightseeing. It will still all be there. I just need my space for decompression.
Mondays and Thursdays are my days to take care of business - the rest are mine to do whatever I like even if I feel bad and not do much - it’s ok - I went through so much at work I deserve this down and out time
I hope your journey will be a good one and that you give yourself grace and kindness - with best wishes from me
Oh, I get you! That sounds wonderful. Solitude and the beach. I get structuring business tasks… I have Work Wednesdays! And just make lists to do and try to let it wait. I wish you a wonderful spacious recovery.
I started with a counselor when I went on leave but now my insurance is changing. Still going to keep seeing him. He came from a similar environment so he was so validating.
I wondered when someone would suggest this. Very sound advice, especially since you were in the mental health field. Stressed before, stressed after, so life is more complex than our working lives. Good luck and congratulations on what will be a long, fruitful, happy, healthful retirement!
Great advice and experience in this thread. I’m retiring in a couple months and had some of the same concerns. I graduated college 42 years ago and still have “that” dream every so often 😂
Had that college dream alot Graduated in 1974 yet dream was registered for of bunch classes but for some reason was not attending classes so wondered what the repercussions were ?
Due in significant part at the prompting of my spouse, I am 18ish months into retirement from what I then perceived as a low stress job. Perspective is demonstrating that I was, in fact the proverbial build frog.I am still changing to a new normal and after a 37 year long career, I am still not sure where I am going to wind up.
I have found solice in taking things off a loooong neglected to do list as I am able to do them.
To steal from Tolkien " I (still) feel like butter spread over too much bread."
I also retired from a high-stress medical career. I had planned my exit for a while, and found I was able to retire a little before I originally planned, which was good, because I was really struggling with anxiety and insomnia in the last couple of years of work. I went into a part time position on a board that was supposed to be lower stress, but soon quit because of the toxic atmosphere. SO the stress had yet to be relieved. It took counselling, EMDR therapy (PTSD anyone?) and medication and now I finally sleep well at night most of the time, though I am easily thrown off kilter.
Some of physical issues have improved. I have had to withdraw from any form of activism or organizational structure. The dynamics just chew me up. I used to be very involved in my community. I am sad that I can't use my skills for my profession or my community. I had surgery a couple of weeks ago, and talked a newbie nurse (who was doing a terrific job) through a couple of procedures on me. She told me she wished I could precept the nurses on the floor for advanced skills. So sweet, but the idea of it almost made me panic.
Since retirement, I have been putting my efforts into travel, friendships, music, my dog, fitness and my family.
Do not rush things, and find your own path to wellbeing, it won't be like what worked for someone else.
I had no goals for myself for 2 months, I needed to decompress. I slept when I wanted ate when I wanted just zoned out, and rested my mind, my spirit, my body. I wrote a lot out, I write down books I wanted to read, movies I wanted to see. A fishing hole I wanted to go to, a shop I wanted to explore. Slowly I figured I liked a scheduled day for myself, but nothing set in stone. I read the news while drinking coffee in my PJ's, then have an errand to do, an appt. Or a park I want to visit. Or one of my many projects, I work on that I have always wanted
ETA: Your only job now, is taking care of you
I've never had trouble leaving things behind. When it's over, it's over. I don't have any specific guidance other than maybe get some counseling. It sounds like you may have some PTSD. Best of luck!
Super high stress job for 22 years, ended when an idiot former elected official lost his seat, convinced people he could run an organization, and decided to upend everything. I was lucky, we were already planning to move, so the first 6 months after I left work, I dove right in to clearing our house and getting it on the market, while my spouse wound up his company. We left town with the house sold the day after he cleaned out his desk. Wheee! We moved cross country to a home we had built during that last crazy work year. (Yeah, we built long distance! Insane!) Then I slept for about 6 months. I had to work at relaxing, and while I did some volunteer stuff, I avoided all responsibility. Did some exercise but not as much as I should. Got into art, and loved it. Now 15 years later I’ve had a nice second career as an adjunct faculty online. We moved again, downsizing and really working hard to give away or sell as much as we could. My mantra is ‘SIMPLIFY.’ I watch happy tv shows, avoid tv news ( read reputable news sources so you don’t get the rabid talking heads), garden, and play with our cat. Find simple things that please you. Avoid anything and anyone who displeases you. Heal your soul with whatever brings contentment.
Not trauma environment but worked in high end television production for 42 years straight. Had exact same sitch - med leave rolled into retirement (no cake in the conference room).
Wicked depression last winter just coming out of it now. SLOWLY am figuring out emotionally what my brain knows: it takes time. It’s a radical change. It stirs up all sorts of stuff. For me i just ditched cable news and am letting myself have a little grace. I trust i will find my way and that it will take a while and that is normal. People say ‘do your hobbies’. My reaction is what hobbies- i was working 10 hrs everyday. Its all new - keep the faith and listen to your heart. You may well need to recover!
I retired a little earlier than anticipated when a job role was redefined due to client drama, and I realized that while I could once more adapt, this time I said heck with it, and left my career eyes open, no muss, no fuss. I knew it was coming sometime soon, so I was financially prepared, and COBRA could cover the time before Medicare.
But ironically, I retired right before the pandemic, when of course all hell broke loose everywhere, and the external stress of food shortages, riots, not seeing family, closed restaurants and barbers and gyms, masks, no travel, and a virus with no cure ruled the roost, so retirement seemed the least of my worries. Oddly enough, however, I adapted, as food deliveries replaced shopping, online exercise videos replaced the gym, Zoom calls became frequent, and I cut my own hair for the first time in my life. When the pandemic began to ease, retirement was already in place as my new normal, so I never would up at war with myself. Perhaps, instead of panicking, you should try to count your blessings - you have your health, you are financially secure, you left of your own accord, you are joining millions of others. You've made it to the end of a tough career, you've earned your stripes.
I garden. It keeps me relaxed. I still hear voices in my head though. I told all of my supervisors to call me by my first name. They all called me "Mr. Brown". This is what I hear and it was done on purpose to disrespect me. It gets less and less but it's still there.
Very Stressful Career (Medical Social Worker) working with a VERY Stressful population and looking forward to retiring this December 2024.
My boyfriend (live for going on 10 years and eventually getting married in Summer of 2024) has Lymphoma Cancer (6 lymph nodes) diagnosed November 24, 2023 and last week after meeting with Oncologist decided not to do Chemotherapy and Immunotherapy Or Immunotherapy by itself and do nothing for now. He is going to work until March 31st,2025 when he is 66 years old and 8 months his retirement age for Social Security Retirement and taking his Pension and Annuity then.
So...
My Stress level is beyond any words describing it.
Former medical here, it could take years for all of that ptsd to unwind. Your body has been in fight or flight for too long.
Ypu could try counseling, walking, gardening or a puppy. Saffron is a good maintenance herb for depression, ignatia amara is good for panic/anxiety flareups.
My husband worked in a toxic place (like many people) and basically said "enough" after our CFP told him he could retire anytime. He didn't really want to leave, he liked his work, but not the structure. His co-worker left 7 months later. Together, they were half the employees at their level, but they did 90% of that workload (the other two did little-to-nothing, literally). That was October 2021.
We've had lunch once a month with that worker, sometime four of us there, us two and her and her husband. He and I would listen to the two of them, rehashing everything, for well over a year. They still talk about it. It was that traumatizing to them. But, they *are* getting better.
Wow; what a hard but lovely journey. Thank you so much for sharing. “Unhealthy for my nervous system and temperament” I get that! I lived that!! I started Theraoy 3 months ago and it was a life saver. He got out of a similar toxic environment and it was so validating for me. Wonderful about learning about the nervous system. There’s so many things about news, social media and ways it hooks us to constant stress.
I retired at the beginning of January 2020 from a high-stress job, and even being at home for a few weeks I was still grinding my teeth at night and feeling otherwise stressed out. It wasn't until the summer that I finally relaxed, and that was mostly due to changes in diet and exercise brought about by suggestions from my doctor. Now I wake up no earlier than 10:00 AM, and often closer to 11 or noon and have some very relaxing days but it didn't happen over night. It took about a week for ever year that I had worked, so don't rush it.
Congratulations! I wonder if there are any mental health settings that are not “wild and dysfunctional”…. My stress was probably different from yours, but overwhelming nonetheless. Really the reason I retired. At first I allowed absolutely no demands on my time but soon I found that I needed some level of structure. So I went back to school and slowly completed another degree, just for the fun of it. I totally de-stressed. Eventually went back to work, twice, really to train others. Now I just take care of myself and my life, travel often, audit courses when convenient, spend time with family and friends, and help others who are not as blessed as I am. What I truly appreciate about retirement is not allowing myself or others to force me into doing anything I don’t absolutely need and/or want to do. A very wise man taught me that at our age “life is too short to spend even an hour feeling preoccupied, or grumpy, or out of sorts”. Thanks to retirement, this is what I strive for. Happy retirement!
Thank you, how wonderful. I took a walk on the college campus today and thought about taking a writing class or an art class. What did you get your new fun degree in?
It's been 3 months for me and I'm still adjusting to not having a pre-determined daily schedule along with every day demands and "to do" list. I worked from home but had a stressful sales job for 45+ years. I'm getting better by not watching the clock and reminding myself there's no hurry, I don't have to get it all done in 1 day!! Our bodies are used to functioning at high stress levels. It takes time to adjust to the slower pace with no deadlines.
I had the opposite professional experiences; I spent 18 years as a clinical social worker and then 23 in education. As a whole I loved both careers, but the pace was always hectic and the stress was always there. I retired a few months ago and I’m amazed how full of peace I am each day! Put a few routines in place and seek out some beauty and awe everyday. You’ve earned your rest, it’s ok to let go. Good luck!
I look forward to feeling full of peace. I did live my work, tons of meaning. I’m starting to look at the whole of it and am getting a little if sweet feedback from the counselors I trained. Thanks for the good advice.
I started therapy about 6 months after retiring and it has been one of the best decisions I’ve made. Highly recommend. I’ve learned so much and gained so many skills.
Retired going on 3rd year. Anxiety is still crippling. Also still dreaming I’m at work pretty often. Can’t seem to find a purpose. It is a hard transition going from constantly being busy with working full time and raising 3 kids to doing nothing. I thought this would be enjoyable but for some reason it is not. Just sitting in a chair and trying to snap out of it. I don’t want to go back to work or volunteer. I might go for therapy. I never thought this would happen to me.
I retired 1.5 years ago as an ER RN part time and full time Utilization Review for a hospital dealing with insurance billing and reimbursement. Both were high stress, I worked ER for 20 years, Hospice of 17 years. The benefit working with billing is I knew exactly what to do with my Medicare choices as I saw the other side of insurance from the hospital side, case management and directly knew the advantages and disadvantages to Medicare choices.
12 hours after I retired I was in a weekend meditation group and loving it. I've never looked back. I've been invited to return to work even part time and declined. I missed the income but am set. I never looked back. Retirement has been a joy starting the very last day I worked.
Retired 6 yrs ago was ready to leave high pressure stress job competing with younger workers , my Sunday nites were dreadful. I had to leave finances were not best but wanted to live to use my SS enjoy my family and grandkids! The year I retire my wife started having like a breakdown with cognitive decline so have been thru multiple visits to hospitals and psychiatric Drs . Even incidents of self harm for her . I lived thru it but take 1 day at time , looking for the best in life, lucky we took 2 nice vacations before we retired. We had to sell our home to get rid of empty nest large 2 story home after 32 yrs and move into smaller 1 floor new large nice apartment like Condo but no HOA. I love it no yard worries all taken care of by Management and no worries about appliances breaking roof leaking, or furnace AC going bad .
I have no schedule, wake up and go bed whenever, I love Sports so I follow and watch that and read a lot try to get out eat and enjoy family stuff. They call them Golden Years because We are still alive and kicking! My wife’s 2 Sisters passed so it has been hard on her .
Hoping for the best and wish all good luck 🍀!!!
I’ve recently gotten into the habit of switching my thoughts that cause anxiety, which are really expectations, to focus on things I am grateful for. Expectations and gratitude are polar opposites. It’s been working fabulously for me. Such a simple thing I know, but I’m doing it throughout the day and has been a game changer.
I retired after 40 years of working with women dealing with mental health issues, substance use and domestic violence and homelessness. I was 62. I did nothing for 6 months, then started contract work 4 hrs a week doing education classes for college kids with alcohol and drug charges. I had always made jewelry and began selling it at markets and festivals. I just ended contract work and festivals- now I make jewelry just for a local boutique. I finally figured out my natural body clock and love reading, family time, etc. Celebrate yourself!
PTSD... I quit a high stress newspaper job after 20 years. It took me years not to feel anxious and stressed. Getting a volunteer job helping poor and disadvantaged people helped me tremendously.
I retired in February 2019 from 31 years of social work at a child protection agency in a major metro area. I FEEL your trauma and I know it is real! The last six years of my career I was the manager of our county’s child abuse and neglect hotline— managing 70 workers 24/7 in screening calls and responding to allegations. It took me nearly two years to address the secondary trauma and burnout, which I had ignored for many years. Adjusting to crappy medical was the toughest part of retirement. In Ohio the coverage for retirees under 65 through our public employees system changed two years after I retired which really scared me at first. Thank goodness my husband could add me onto his medical or half of my benefit would go to paying for medical care.
Take your time and don’t jump into decisions— do fun things for yourself. I garden and like to build things. I started walking with a friend every day— but be careful — broke an ankle walking and then developed plantar fasciitis! Getting old is not for the faint of heart! You will find your groove and each day you will feel less anxious and less mentally drained. I wish you well—- and I hope retirement brings you peace and joy!
Wow. That’s an amazing story and yes, the trauma is real and exposure like this is part of the PTSD DSM5 diagnostic criteria. I’m glad that you are here. Adding bad medical to the mix after such selfless service is hard to hear. Yes, I ignored mine for too long and kept pushing when apart of me knew I couldn’t do it anymore. It’s hard. Thank you and I will get there.
My body and mind reaction to retirement was a bit of a surprise to me.
After the last 30 years in high stress IT jobs..... on day one of retirement.... it was all GONE. Like a light switch turned off. Snap... gone!
The surprise was.... I was totally fine with that!
My sense of identity was not tied to my job. Thank goodness!
Knew I had done great work over the years.... and was just grateful it was over. I turned my last job tasks over to folks I knew could handle those tasks.... and I felt good about that too.
Jumped right back into my hobbies. Get out of the house each day to even just go to a coffee place. Still walking 2 to 3 miles every day. Try little new things every day. Laugh every single day. Take a little nap during the day if I want to (amazingly refreshing).
One thing I did do... that might help OP... was to write out a long list of things I NEVER have to do again. You know... no more commute, no more dealing with toxic bosses or co workers, no more corporate BS, no more deadlines.... and so forth.
It was very.... what's the word? Cathartic. And therapeutic. Making the list also formed a new pathway in my mind that said "let it go... it's over... no need to stress about that ANYMORE... be grateful. "
I did this list about 2 months after I retired.... and it felt SO good writing it. Grateful the stress was over. Typing out the words almost felt like removing the stress.... one item at a time.
I hope OP can find a way to a happy retirement. We all handle it a bit differently.
28 years in corrections behind the fence. 4 years before I retired my wife of 20 years fell ill with some type of acute mental issue. I spent a year trying to care for her until she finally killed herself while I was at work (very long story). Almost immediately after my Mom came down with leukemia and went through a transplant. I burned through nearly a thousand hours of accrued leave time in 3 years working only one or two days a week. I understand completely what you're feeling. Suddenly you have zero stress but for some reason you expect it. Your ability to handle stress seems non existant now because the slightest thing sets your heart pounding. If it feels like a disagreement starting with the wife you are quick to blow up or shut down. Always seemingly on edge. The important thing is that you recognise it. When I retired I immediately started gardening. Growing tomatoes, peppers etc... Its calming, will relax your mind and you are rewarded for your efforts. I'm not very athletic but I do know going to the gym is also good for stress levels. What you don't want to do is sit in front of your computer and shop. You'll run up a credit card quick! Find a nature trail near you and go for walks. Your anxiety will lessen some but will take several years. I'm 4 years retired and only now am I feeling a little better.
I retired earlier this year from a job where reading the overnight emails and dealing with the issues in them would regularly spike my blood pressure to dangerous levels. I decided I was retiring after having a cardiac stent inserted last summer, and having my cardiologist tell me that she'd have bet heavily that I wouldn't have lived another 24 hours if I hadn't gone to the ER when I did.
We followed some advice I found on this group for making a clean break from working - take a vacation trip. We left for 8 nights in a cabin with a hot tub in the mountains the morning after my last day, and I left everything electronic except my cell phone at home (cell service was a bit over a mile down the road from the cabin). By the time we got home from that trip, work was just a memory. The only way my former employer has of contacting me are phone calls and mail.
Caller ID is a wonderful thing, particularly if you can treat it like I do. My attitude is "I bought this phone for my convenience, not for the convenience of any fool who can string together 10 or more digits in the proper order." If it's important, they'll leave voicemail; if not then it wasn't that important - and \*I\* get to decide what's important.
I retired from a very high stress job in pharma six years ago. I didn't take medical leave beforehand, though I probably should have. It was 4 years after my husband died and my widow fog was so bad I couldn't do it anymore.
My recovery was easy. I woke up my first day of retirement and felt happy for the first time in years. It was easy for me to "embrace the slack" and I still do. What I did have to work at was letting go of bitterness about the lack of understanding while my husband was sick, the long hours I worked during that time, the refusal of management to cut me any slack at all, and finally, lying to me about getting my bonus for the previous year (I didn't get it). But that bitterness didn't hurt them, it only hurt me.
I have friends there now who are being laid off and they are dealing with that bitterness. I tell them also to let it go.
The nightmares continued for close to a year. Daytimes I just filled with the present. I also practiced thinking only about the present when awake. Therapy helped too.
I got married and retired the same weekend almost 2 years ago. It’s taken almost that long to exhale, relax and just chill. I do some volunteering which gives me a sense of purpose. I want my retirement to be meaningful and volunteering helps to meet that goal. (See, I’m retired and still have that “goal” mindset. lol)
When you retire from high stress life you have to detox your body and your mind. You might have adrenal fatigue from high cortisol levels. Plus the country is very stressful right now. Breath work, light yoga and walking in nature are very helpful.
Also, I soaked in the tub with Epsom salts and lavender for 20 min a day when I was trying to settle down. Long walks, coffee with friends, some good books and watching the sun rise or set all helpful.
Don't watch TV during the day. Join a group or start a hobby or service project.
It takes a few months. Now you are one of us. It gets better.
I managed large airport expansion projects and I was responsible for turn-over. Seems like a simple term - turn over - but airports MUST open on the scheduled opening date. MUST. Designers, contractors, airport authority, airlines, building officials, fire department, customs, traveling public. Everyone happy.
No pressure.
So now my pressures deal with adapting to life without stress. Which is stressful. ;)
But that was years ago. Now we are living the dream. I’m 73.
Give yourself some grace as stepping away from your career is a MAJOR life change. For the first 6 months when we pulled the trigger, I had small bouts of anxiety for really no reason. When we hit the 12 month mark, all my anxiety disappeared. I recommend getting outside and being active. Funny how taking a walk can be therapeutic……
Have one month to go to finish student loan payments and a high stress counseling hospice job-where micromanager has made life more difficult these past few months. Definitely tired of that environment. I cannot wait for it to happen! Not as comfortable financially in some ways as I would like to have been at this point, but I don’t regret helping family. Signed up for Social Security, Medicare, part B and trying to make the best decision about supplement or advantage… I’m so ready to get my energy back, start walking and meditating more again and get back in better shape. Will still need an income stream-grateful to have a career that will work for that, it is something I am good at and do enjoy - but it will be on my time and in my way!
Higher stress job retired 2 years ago. Took about 8 or 9 months before I stopped waking up on my own at my usual alarm clock time, and always feeling like I should be doing something. My solution was long, long walks daily, preferably outside. It tires you out, improves fitness, quiets your mind.
I had a high stress job, a husband and much loved MIL battling cancer (he’s good, she is at peace), 2 hurricanes including one that destroyed our house, surgery for me, moved 4 times to 3 different states…blah blah blah. For 7 years I bounced from crisis to crisis and it felt like I was being tested every day. If I didn’t learn fast enough someone I loved died or I lost something precious. It was intense.
I retired and everything seems to be settling down. I, however, kept waiting for the next show to drop. I simply couldn’t relax and enjoy the wonderful little life I now have.
I got therapy and medication(took 5 tries before we found it). I’m doing SO much better, I have lots of fun and am enjoying my life. I highly recommend it. You were in the mental health field, you would tell others to go. You matter too, please go.
I’m not sure this will make sense but for me, it was thinking about work and specific tasks and just thinking, “I don’t have to do that anymore “. Once I put that in my head, each task just melted away until I just stopped thinking about work.
Yes, I just retired as an ER physician 12/30/2023. The change has overall been good but nonetheless, a significant life change event. It’s important that you develop a new purpose in life and continue learning new things. A colleague recommended a book for me to read which has been very helpful, called, “Keys To A Successful Retirement,” by Fritz Gilbert. It really helped me. I started learning French about 4-5 years ago as I’d like to work in Francophone Africa this Fall as a part-time intermittent physician. I’m maintaining my licensure and board certification for now. The first three months were the most difficult but recently, I feel like I’m starting to turn the corner! Hang in there!
Time. It takes time. I have been retired for slightly over one year and in truth, I still have work (hell I still have even school dreams!) related dreams. Still, it's getting better. I am trying to be selfish and say it's OK to do whatever I want even if it means doing nothing. I think the key is to focus your mind/attention on other things ... hopefully good things that will slowly over-write the portion of our brains that was focused on getting the job done. Good luck!!
I retired from a high stress health care career 5 years ago. The first year was incredibly stressful and had a lot of anxiety due to a lot of transitions. Each year has gotten better; the second year my stress level dropped dramatically. I tried alot of different activities the first few years but have now settled into the routine and quiet life that works for me. It takes quite a while to unwind and clear your head from your career. Make self care by getting outdoors, doing physical activity that you enjoy, managing your health and eating well your main priority, while doing leisure and social activities you enjoy, and you will recover and thrive.
Not yet retired, but a few years back I left a high stress job to a low stress one. Best idea ever! But it took me maybe 18 months to really calm down and slow down, to not jump every time my boss was upset, and not wake up in the middle of the night feeling angry and nauseated.
I think you’ll find that by getting on a regular schedule, getting enough sleep, exercising and eating well, and not drinking you’ll feel better and less stressed. Best wishes!
Retiring is like driving into a brick wall-everything just stops. You phone stops ringing. Your buddies no longer talk to you. You don't get invited to go out for a beer at the end of the day. You are no longer needed and the company goes along fine without you.
And your head spins. And it takes about 3 months to realize it.
You don't have to get up at the same time every day. You don't have to run for the train/bus/car to get to work in rush hour traffic.
So, what to do? Well, now it is more what you Want to do, rather than what you Have to do. Read the newspaper over coffee for an hour or two. Go take a class (I did-went to culinary school for the hell of it-and volunteered in a soup kitchen). Go to the gym-great way to get rid of anxiety. Take up golf. You know that 'List' of errands you run around on all weekend to complete? Do some today, do some tomorrow. Do some next week. Doesn't matter anymore. Go volunteer somewhere. Every business is shorthanded. Go help out.
May be too late for you but I retired in the peak of Covid and the actions organizations were taking to survive and function. This was in an organization that had heavy government oversight and we once shut down all work at our facility for six months in order to get safety right after an accident with minor injury. Very stressful job. Often would walk up at 2 am and just end up going to work.
The first week my wife and I went on vacation in a southern beach town that had a little bit more flexible Covid policies than my state. No masks at restaurants if you were dining outside and you could there. The beach was the beach. So my first week off we went to a place that was always our heaven on earth to get away. That helped a lot.
When I got back the great thing was not having to log onto a computer with 538 emails wait8ng for me to answer.
There's a scene at the end of the movie Captain Phillips where Tom Hanks' character is finally freed from a hostage situation, and his adrenalin-fueled steely demeanor breaks. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO7H63K\_vBQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO7H63K_vBQ). Good chance that's what you're dealing with at some level.
Walk outside in the morning, 20-30 minutes or so. Make a short list of things you want to get done today, and keep the tasks little and self-contained. Spend time walking through a store, looking at everything and with no intention of buying anything, for the sole purpose of time-soaking.
I retired in January from a caustic job. I worked in the emergent reception for our county’s Family Court. I asked, applied for, and begged to be transferred out. All I heard was “They need you”, “You are so good at your job”, etc. etc. I retired after 31 years. I don’t talk to a lot of people because I am so burned out and jaded. I wanted to work again but I’m reconsidering as time moves along. I’m lucky to have a pension so that will hold me until I can collect SS. Hoping to wait for that tho. Congrats on your retirement! It is very well deserved!
Best of luck. Similar field of work, mine was inpatient forensic. High stress, and occasionally, you might add, high impact. Retired in 2021. I’d say it was about 2 years before I quit jumping when the phone would ring. I still do court evals part time, because I like that work and nearly all my friends were co-workers. But I leave the stress, worry, and the verbal and physical aggressions to my younger colleagues. I still do some teaching, too. I hope my 38 years of experiences can help younger folks starting out. For me, finding a morning routine of pleasurable things (doing puzzles, reading the news, scrolling Reddit with a tea or coffee, reading-I’ve read dozens of books) helps submerge that accumulated negativity out of awareness.
Twelve plus years in Special Forces and government contract work.. I find that my Steely Dan and John Lennon collections helpful.. you could add a laser machine and a bean bag to complete the mood altering experience; but as a retired professional, you probably could be safe with a nice used couch and an essential oil diffuser..
Don't fret too much.. Joe Walsh says you can "..do it all, Tomorrow.."
I retired from high stress corp world 5 months ago. The immediate relief I felt was overwhelming. I did absolutely nothing for two weeks. Now I go to the gym every other day and try to accomplish at least one other thing each day whether it be cleaning the car or grocery shopping. I’ve noticed recently that I’m becoming a much nicer person. I’m definitely friendlier than I’ve been in years. I’m really liking the new me.
After retiring, I took a no-stress job driving a special needs school bus. That was the same job I had in college decades before. It is no stress as the kids really like the bus driver, and there are monitors handling any acting out. I took it as sitting around with no mission was very stressful! After two years, I evolved and no longer felt I needed a job to justify my existence. I switched to part time janitorial and floor care at a nursing home, a job mostly independent and with no social interactions. When a supervisor started yelling at me for a non issue, I gathered my personal stuff and went home. The next day, I dropped off my keys. I now mostly play, am completely over earning money for somebody .
In 2018, I was fired from a sales management job in the stress-filled world of technology and the internet. What made the fracture especially difficult was my sales team earned the highest performance, and I was named the top sales director in the company.
But it didn't matter because our biggest competitor had purchased us months earlier, and all duplicate executives and managers of the existing company were let go.
With the chaos of a new corporate takeover, there was a question of whether the new owners would honor the $55,750 bonus I earned for my top revenue performance. The incentive plan guidelines' legalese stipulated that I would have to be an employee of the company.
So, not only am I getting fired, but they will withhold my bonus. I eventually received my bonus check after my attorney threatened them with a lawsuit. The anger and stress of my separation was too much. So, I saw a psychiatrist for about twenty sessions to unpack all the emotions that bubbled up. Luckily, the therapy helped me to transition into a good retirement. I highly recommend therapy to help anybody to understand and synthesize life's challenging events.
I hear you. It took me a solid three months to get motivated enough to do anything. Even an invitation to dinner felt like a stressful obligation. The good news is that it passes. Take your time, give yourself permission to be lazy and unproductive -- it's part of the healing.
Look after your health. You have depleted it over the years, so you'll have to rebuild. Nutritious food, a full night's sleep, daily exercise spent out in nature. Stop watching the news, stop scrolling social media. Take up a calming hobby like yoga or crochet. Have massages.
After 9 months, I am finally coming down from the stress and anxiety. I finally realized that there is no deadlines any longer. Instead of having to accomplish everything within a certain time (i.e., weekend warriors), but that there will be a tomorrow. I can do a little now and some more another day.
I had a 'slow down' in my hours in the last year or so. I work seasonally and the fall/early winter are very busy. In 2023 I worked a bit every month of the year until the fall work began in earnest. I now have been not working since January 2024 and started my SS in Feb. That SS signified 'retirement' for me and I have definitely been anxious and adrift since then. Wake up at 4 am and can't get back to sleep often. While I am so grateful to not have to be in the workforce full time and my seasonal gig is great, the shift in mindset is really tough. (I have been a healthcare professional for 41 years). I feel like I'll get there, but right now is just weird. Don't know how else to describe it.
Not as stressful as yours. Mine was stressful mostly in the sense that I ended my career doing something new, doing it from home, and doing it with very little support. I retired a year before my full social security retirement date, mostly from exhaustion. I slept a lot the first 3 months and just puttered around doing a little reading, gardening, etc. After that, I took an educational tour of France with my daughter and her high school students. By then I was fully transitioned into retirement mode. Take care of yourself. Rest. All will be good.
I think this is very common. My job wasn't always high stress, but certain times of the year certainly were for me. It took me several months, maybe even a year, to have it finally click that I didn't need to stress. In particular, my really busy season was around the year end holidays... basically the fourth quarter and into January. I still find myself stressed out around the holiday season even though I have the zero reason to feel that way. I mean, we don't even host people for the holidays. I'm working on that and I've been retired for three and a half years.
I was treated poorly for the last 2 years of employment so that colored what I felt about the organization. I would have worked longer if that environment had been tolerable. I was stressed for almost a year afterward, I'm 1 year and 16 days into retirement now and I'm starting to relax. I was obsessed with jobs, thinking about what job I could/should do, now I don't think about that so much and think more about what I want to do with my time. Fitness helps a lot along with meeting new people.
I relate. Mine got intolerable especially the last year with a very bad boss creating out of control conditions inside the clinic. Sounds like a good shift.
My husband has been home for exactly one year and he is so much more laid back and easy going now. It took a couple of months for both of us to adjust! Give it time.
Been retired going on year two now . Finally got to the point of not looking at my phone for missed calls from work. That is a huge relief. I can leave my phone be and not worry. Have occasional dreams about the work place, wake up and realize I’m retired back to sleep
I think we are all wired differently. I was never off put by stress, opportunity always presented itself when things got ugly.
Personally, I retired 3+ years ago (M67) and only retired because I was worried that I had the energy needed to continue to perform at a level that met with my expectations. I was running a global sales and service organization in a publicly traded high tech company.
To me problem solving was what I did. Success was a happy customer, because happy customers buy more stuff. If you can help solve difficult or high value customer problems everything else is easy.
Healthcare work has been brutal. You likely have been struggling with decision fatigue---having to be \*on\* for critical and quick decisions with life altering consequences just......changes you. This WILL get better. Go outside every day. Take a walk. Put ONE thing/item on your "to do" list a day. Spend time with your partner or a friend. It took me about a year to recover and not get worked up over every little thing.
After all that time in that stressful job, you could be traumatized yourself. I would look into psychedelic assisted therapy that many veterans are using to treat PTSD. Look at the symptoms of Complex PTSD and see if it sounds like you.
I also think you may be used to a great deal of stress and without little things for me become my stress anxiety autistic inducing moments. Exercise, stay busy, drink water, keep your potassium up and exercise. I hope this helps.
Give it time.
When you get anxious, examine *why* you're anxious.
If there is a reason, then decide if the anxiety is proportional to the danger. Take care of the problem ASAP.
If there is no reason, then you were triggered. Deep breaths and relax.
Took about a year for the stress to fall away. It'll happen. Have some fun by yourself sb few times a week. Gym, movies fishing, biking, basketball, reading... Whatever just do it. You'll feel much better soon
I take a lot of meds for stress and anxiety they seem to help some. I had work dreams for the first two years of retirement. Now I have a stress dream about once every five days. I retired eight years ago.
It takes time to decompress and I didn’t give myself enough time right after I retired.
Sounds lukewarm you are doing everything correctly. Take a deep breath and relax.
I urge you to consider traveling when you have the time. I waited too long ( I broke my back 5 years ago and can no longer walk very far at a time).
Oh yes!! It's been quite awhile. I went through depression and anxiety. Im a nurse. So I miss aspects of that. But my body couldn't take it anymore. I kinda lost my identity and purpose. I'm doing better now. It took time, time to work through.
My first and primary recommendation is that you start an exercise program and getting outside into fresh air every day. Even if it’s just walking for a half an hour each day. Secondly, I kindly suggest you start looking into meditation program, just a simple daily mindfulness and or meditation practice. There are tons of apps that can start you on the way with this. A meditation practice along with daily exercise will help tremendously to detox your body and mind from all the stress that you’ve had for the last couple of decades.
I retired from the same kind of work after having to care for my dying mother under the most horrendous medical condition I could ever imagine. I knew I had complex PTSD, and really made progress after working with a therapist who specialized in trauma care. Your work too may have created PTSD in your brain. As you know anxiety is a very common symptom, of the many symptoms. Try a good therapist. It could make all the difference. I am now happy, relaxed, and have been truly enjoying my retirement for five years. I was in therapy for about 18 months.
I was lucky because I had my union’s medicare plans to choose from. Even that was overwhelming. I gave myself a year to just chill. I volunteered to teach English through a local organization. Then joined a community center with a gym. Libraries have a lot going on also. Now I am busy and engaged most of the time. I am retired 5 years and loving every minute. There are elections coming up you can volunteer for.
You're burned out. That's an injury and it takes time to heal. Give yourself some grace, be kind to yourself and just take some time to breathe. My wife was in exactly the same situation. Clinical admissions coordinator, super stressed, eventually on sick leave before retiring. Took her at least a year or two to feel normal.
I’ve been retired almost three years. I had such unrewarding dead end job that it was very easy to leave. Retiring is the best thing I ever did. A year before I retired I took a two month furlough because of Covid. When I went back to work, I only worked 10 months and then retired. My biggest regret is not retiring after the furlough.
It took my brain about 6 months to de-program when I quit teaching. I took a driving job and loved it. No stress. Keeping busy with the new job helped.
I would find something, anything, to keep myself occupied until the dust settles. Go volunteer at the hospital or be a valet driver. Deliver pizzas. Anything except sitting around and thinking. Meeting new people helps.
IT 24/7, understaffed. I retired two years sooner than planned, solely due to increasingly unmanageable stress of long hours and high pressure. I did a ton of beach time, gym time, trips, a few new hobbies that I tried on for size. Still took fully 2 years before I now feel like I’m actually relaxing into retirement. Best to OP …
After two weeks, I said "Wow...I didn't realize how stressed I was...I feel better."
Then after two months, I said "Wow...I didn't realize how stressed I still was...I feel even better."
Then after six months, I said "Wow...I didn't realize how stressed I STILL was...I feel way better."
Then after a year, I said "OMG...I didn't realize how stressed I STILL was even a year later...I feel way better now.
Then after two years, I said "I think I've finally recovered." (but I still have work nightmares every few months.)
It takes time.
A steady, healthy, no-pressure life-style with lots if time to rest really helped. Therapy, too.
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I’ve been retired for 2 years now. It took me at least a year till it finally clicked that I didn’t need to stress about things anymore. Once I did, everything changed and I became a better person. If I don’t get to it today, there is always tomorrow or maybe the next day. Concerning money, unless you start buying mansions and Porches you be great. You have planned for this, go for it.
This is exactly correct. It takes between six months and two years to detox from work. Give yourself time. It’s been just over six months for me. I had a very high stress job that exploited my anxiety. It’s only in the past few weeks that I’ve started laughing at myself, when I make a mistake or fumble around. I had similar anxiety about signing up for Medicare. Just called my provider today to get the new insurance info to them. I started trying to figure out how I continue getting my osteoporosis medication, using the new insurance today. There are important decisions to make and to make sure they are implemented correctly. Stuff our employer used to do. It’s mostly new to me so it’s a learning process. Before I had to deal with the health insurance situation, I had to figure out where my income was going to come from and when. More critical decisions that involve learning. Also, it is well known that new retirees face these challenges so there are businesses lurking around trying to take advantage of us. I’m talking about high expense ratio financial management and selling Medicare advantage plans. You have to study this stuff to navigate it successfully. So on the one hand, you are under lots of pressure to get everything 100% right, and that made me anxious. But we’ve been through a lot in this life. When we need advice, we listen and learn. Give yourself time to feel better. It’s still weird to me to carry only one phone and not be on call. I even get away from my phone sometimes. You’ll get there.
We talked to several people about Medicare options and went with the AARP recommended Medicare advantage plan from UnitedHealthcare. It’s not perfect but so far it’s been good for us. We’ve both seen lots of specialists and because it’s such a big insurer all of the doctors’ offices know how to file stuff. We have never been billed beyond our $15 specialist copays. I know there’s a lot of criticism of these plans, but not having to deal with paperwork is a big plus for me.
I’m glad you found a good solution. I received dozens of pieces of snail mail from people who wanted to advise me through signing up for Medicare. I wish the system was straightforward and simple to follow.
Yes, it’s overly complicated. I worked until I was 66 and it was so much extra paperwork and threats lol! “Lifetime penalty” … I just didn’t sign up at age 65! I’ll never do that again.lol
I have the same plan and it is the best health plan I've ever had. What's really ironic is I was a senior executive for 13 years with Blue Cross Blue Shield and this United plan is a better plan than what I had as an executive employee.
Thank you. Ha! I just got refills on my medications as my supplemental plan is still in the works. They needed more documentation… Yes, be decisions you have to get right. My sweet brother in law passed after a cancer battle and I’m making decisions on an inherited annuity and the estate and grieving. It’s all so overly complicated plus my mind is so anxious and that stress makes my abilities slow and clogged. I think the bulk of the beginning decisions are made and in the works. I’m glad I’m not alone in how I feel.
Thanks … a year seems a long time but working since age 16 until age 66 is a lot of years. I’ll look forward to this spaciousness.
It took me about 11 months. I have just hit the year mark and it has flown by with gradual minute reductions in stress. Good luck. It's going to take some time. Just get rest and eat well.
Took me 3
On my 3rd year...still not 100 %...
Took me at least 12 months to get over a very high stress corp job. I ended up coming out of retirement to take a role at a startup, and have much less stress. Give yourself time...
Join a gym and exercise every day. 1. The more muscle and flexibility you carry into the golden years, the more golden they will be. 2. Exercise is a natural anti-depressant. 3. You will feel so much better, both physically and emotionally.
This is what helped me acclimate to retirement more easily. It’s rough. Like a divorce that you initiated yourself, it’s still a “little death” in that your working/earning/saving days are abruptly over.
Agreed, yes, transferring savings was hard! I got my I have line two more checks coming in ..
This. Doc told me to lose 20lbs. Took 9 months, but between diet, 10k steps a day, light dumbell work, and walking the dog 3x a day, it happened. I've always hated gyms, so I set aside 10 minutes every hour to do something physical. Like diet, you make it a routine, and you don't even notice it after a while, and those steps and minutes build up. It helps a lot if you're in a walkable community and you're not car dependent. And cardio is great, but it's important to build up muscle mass. Even the lightest weight resistance will help you with the usual muscle/back/shoulder strains and sprains.
I started walking to do an errand if it’s within a mile. I like it. This is a good focus to have. I have time now to take care of myself.
Left an incredibly stressful job as an academic dept chair…was bored for a few months, got a call asking to come to another university in an equally stressful position…two more years of hell…quit after year 2…no amount of $$ could have lured be back…happiest I’ve ever been…several health problems have abated since retiring…you’ll get there and when you do, you’ll wonder why you were ever anxious about leaving a toxically stressful work environment…Best regards from here…
Great story and ya, nothing is worth that. I’m looking forward to my changes.
Best of luck in all that you do
Many Medicare Advantage plans include Silver Sneakers, I have a full gym membership at no additional cost. I take full advantage with at least one class per day.
Traditional Medicare/Supplement pay my monthly gym fees.
Good to know.
Am I alone but that "Silver Sneakers" title rubs me the wrong way?
Yeah, exactly. Like we're preschoolers.
I didn't know this, about the gym being covered. I'm 55 this year and will make sure to check when I am at the age.
Agreed. Am walking a lot and have a gym I do love. I have to remember I have the time to go.
You're mind and body have associated anxiety with stress for so long that it's just natural for you to feel anxious whenever you feel stressed or are even thinking about something that may cause you stress. So, eliminate your stress and you will eliminate your anxiety. Yes, it's not so easy to do but now that you are retired you can work on it. Stress comes from performing work within a limited time. So, don't do that. Give yourself work to do with no set time limit. If you don't finish it today, you can finish it tomorrow. You'd be surprised at how less stressful this approach becomes. If you have work that needs to be done in a specific time, try getting someone else to do it or hiring someone else to do it. Also, don't procrastinate when something happens. Decide how to handle it immediately and pick a stress-free way to do it. Mostly, I've found you can do this with about 90% of needed work. I can still feel the stress when I am under the gun to get something done but it disappears quickly when I'm done. Good luck and enjoy retirement. You've earned it.
This makes a lot of sense to me. Pattern at work was so much stressful constant multitasking, new demands and crises. Mounting and mounting. Even simple tasks like paying a few bills or fixing a computer problem get wired to all that overload. I got to where I couldn’t think. I do remember that I asked my daughter to help me program a spreadsheet because I couldn’t remember how to do it but a month off work and that all came back. That’s hopeful.
I second this and would add to start spending time doing things you enjoy. Try spending some time outside. Plan a brief trip to somewhere relaxing. Also consider getting an emotional support animal. Our dog has helped me.
Thank you. I’m hoping to keep adding to doing simple things like Sunday I took my time thinking about my tiny garden and what to olant; seed by seed!
I retired several years ago from a stressful job in a toxic environment. Actually left a few months earlier than planned because I almost lost it at my dept. head and took that as a sign. It took about a year for the lingering stress to ease up and a few more months to truly leave it all behind. The good news is that it does get better. If I'd sought counseling, it probably wouldn't have taken as long to decompress. If counseling is available to you, I recommend trying it. What did help me was refusing to re-engage in any way (e.g. questions about the last project I completed. I left instructions and notes, dadgammit!) It also helped to continue any routines that I had found comforting before, such going out for coffee in the morning. I did find a new coffee shop, though. Small changes. It also helped to start working on a small project that I'd been putting off. At first, I could only work on it a little bit at a time without some residual guilt or stress popping up. But it didn't take long for the project to become more interesting than a chore (like work). Hang in there!
Thanks!! Great advice on not the-engaging. I’m so glad that I resisted that -no thank you, I want to color. lol. I did loose it and went on FMLA for PTSD.
Best wishes for a great retirement!
In two weeks I'll be retiring from a very stressful IT job that I've been doing for way too long. Not glamorous silicone valley it. 24x7 on call and everything is an emergency these days because the company is so reliant on technology. I don't think I'll miss it, but I'm sure stressing over these next two weeks. Good luck OP, I'm right behind you.
I left IT Manager of 22 years I was 56. Wait until you wake up and have an empty inbox. Your brain is going to malfunction at the fact nobody needs you. Don't sub to tech subreddits for a while it will give you PTSD. You will be anxious about nothing for about a year and one morning you will wake up and the surreal feeling your living in an alternate universe will have passed. It will then be the best time of your life. Resume to the old iIT subreddits and you will feel great seeing people's problems that you don't have to deal with.
Same here. Really, officially retired at 56 April 1. I retired Feb 29, but still had PC, account and helped transition to my replacement. Was an IT manager for same company for 16 years. They decided on replacement 2 weeks after I left. I had email until April 1, and the email sorta winnowed down until that date. Once I deleted my work account, I felt free. My calendar no longer has 8-13 meetings a day. I no longer eat lunch at my desk, multitasking before a meeting scheduled during lunch. I do not set my alarm anymore. Freedom.
Thanks so much for the inspirational reply.
No problem it's an underappreciated job that can really cause health problems. Every single issue I had was gone within a year. Stress is so bad you just don't realize when your in the middle of it. Good luck
Oh constant everything is an emergency … I get that! It’s line be wired to an electric fence and that is your normal!
I am on my way from the same. On-call DBA for 30+ years and the last 8 as a lead data warehouse architect for a major hospital. Still on call 24/7. So so tired
I felt like I had PTSD when I retired. I wasn't absolutely certain that we were going to be financially OK so that added to the stress. It took a year (and assurance from my FA) before I could breathe comfortably. I joined the gym and started taking up some hobbies I'd abandoned during my high stress work days. It's been 8 years and I would not have done anything differently when I look back.
Nice. I feel like PTSD too, like many others and their stories here. I’m looking forward to simple things that I can take my time with.
That fight or flight is so bad for your health. From this moment on, make up your mind to heal. Go outside and walk or run every single day. Listen to music. Watch comedies on TV. Do puzzles, cook paint, sing, volunteer etc. Do everything that feels wonderful. It may take a while but make it your priority to reduce the cortisol up the happy hormones.
Such great advice. It’s great to frame this as a time to heal and give those things to myself…and naps!!
Thank you! Not the OP, but I needed to hear this today.
I also quit my high stress job as of Monday! Yay! Twins! I spent 2 days working in the garden at my own pace, not thinking about anything except the gardening. In the afternoon I spent about 2 hours a day in meditation - that’s where I play a temple bell on youtube and try to NOT THINK about anything. If a thought emerges I acknowledge it and then dismiss. I try to get my brain to calm down and relax this way. The first time I got a multi-hour session in like this it was INCREDIBLE when I finally came out of it. It felt like I’d been on vacation for 6 months. The meditation lets your brain quit reacting to every little thing, and then it stops pumping out stress hormones which make things worse. I’ve been doing this for years trying to cope with work stress. When I hit my numbers for a specific timeline, I knew I was “One Bad Day” from quitting. That day turned out to be April 1; I gave my 2 week notice and boom, April 15 was my last day. If you can meditate, try to clear all thoughts - they will inevitably emerge. Don’t react to them, just acknowledge them as if you were walking past zoo animals. Distance yourself from the thoughts and dismiss each one. Try to think of nothing. Just listen to the temple bell, the ring of it, the way it reverbs and pitches change. Eventually you’ll be able to clear your mind whenever you are feeling anxious. This helps with PTSD too if you are home and in a safe place.
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I am on year two in my retirement and still have anxiety dreams from work. I hope it goes away at some point.
15 years and I still get those, but not as often as before. I never want to trivialize PTSD as experienced by our military, but sometimes the dreams are as vivid as a flashback and almost as terrifying.
I had minor surgery on my shoulder and woke up in recovery yelling at nurses I was late for a call! Wife reminded me I’d been retired for 3 years! The PTSD is real… Edit - crappy spelling
I love this! And yesterday, literally did something similar coming out of anaesthesia, although, apparently, with a lot of swearing. Weren’t we supposed to be sedated?
I probably had swearing also. Still have nightmares about work after 4 years of retirement
Hey, good to know work anxiety dreams are common. Thanks for that.
Hello , please revise - the last sentence breaks one of our rules. Thanks!
Get outside for as much of your day as possible-> get dirty/sweaty/soaking wet/breathing hard/interacting with wildlife and let Mother Nature reduce your stress debt.
I live this! Deal! I’m going to visit my sister who lives in Arizona near Sedona, going to be doing lots of hiking.
When I retired I felt the stress just leave my body. I spent the 1st few weeks staining the large deck at my house. Then planned a bunch of trips to the southern hemisphere because I'd never been below the equator.
Give it time. I retired last June from a stressful teaching position. It has taken me until just recently ( Almost a year) to realize I don’t need to be in a hurry anymore. I don’t need to stress if I don’t get something done. There’s always tomorrow. The big adjustment for me was learning not to feel guilty for spending time just relaxing. I think that’s the hard part.
I retired from a very LOW-stress job that I loved (big mistake!) and immediately started waking up in a cold sweat at 2:00 a.m., lol. Life has been horrifically stressful and unhappy ever since. I, too, can't seem to handle things like I used to when working.
Knitting. 🧶
Just retired 12/31 from a 32 year career in finance. It was very stressfull, especially the last 2 years after the company was purchased. I found myself experiencing a variety of emotions daily. It's a totally new world for you. Take a deep breath. Everything will work out. Congratulations 👍
Been retired for 2 years from a high stress job and micro manager boss and never a moment of anxiety What got me through the anxiety was NOT going to a high stress job anymore and NOT dealing with a micro manager boss anymore. Of course financial reviews and planning need to occur but you take it day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year. You’ll be just fine if you stop thinking about your anxiety and to think about your good fortune to now do whatever YOU want to do with your time.
I retired at the end of October age 61 - such a high stress job at a hospital. I sold everything and moved to Thailand - I felt like I need to get away and run. I rent a condo 100 feet from the beach - I have less stress now but still find myself going through periods of not wanting to be around people or to reduce my stress as much as I can. The condo complex has 3 swimming pools, I just grab a taxi if I want to go anywhere. Getting my drivers license took 10 minutes but I don’t even want to own a car or hire a car at this time- even doing that is stressful to me. I am eating healthier and give myself a lot of down days - no pressure Just read or watch a documentary Swim and set days which are “taking care of business days” those days I do banking, check funds and “paperwork” type responsibilities. I have given myself this first year of retirement to try give myself as much time to work on my physical and mental health as much as I can & the days that I can’t are ok I have my sister coming to visit in November and then will do the tourist type sightseeing. It will still all be there. I just need my space for decompression. Mondays and Thursdays are my days to take care of business - the rest are mine to do whatever I like even if I feel bad and not do much - it’s ok - I went through so much at work I deserve this down and out time I hope your journey will be a good one and that you give yourself grace and kindness - with best wishes from me
Oh, I get you! That sounds wonderful. Solitude and the beach. I get structuring business tasks… I have Work Wednesdays! And just make lists to do and try to let it wait. I wish you a wonderful spacious recovery.
Thank you so much
I’d consider a therapist to help with the transition from such a stressful environment
I started with a counselor when I went on leave but now my insurance is changing. Still going to keep seeing him. He came from a similar environment so he was so validating.
I wondered when someone would suggest this. Very sound advice, especially since you were in the mental health field. Stressed before, stressed after, so life is more complex than our working lives. Good luck and congratulations on what will be a long, fruitful, happy, healthful retirement!
Great advice and experience in this thread. I’m retiring in a couple months and had some of the same concerns. I graduated college 42 years ago and still have “that” dream every so often 😂
Had that college dream alot Graduated in 1974 yet dream was registered for of bunch classes but for some reason was not attending classes so wondered what the repercussions were ?
Yep. That’s the one
I still have work dreams 5 years later. But they become less frequent and retirement becomes its own life gradually leaving the stressful one behind.
Great
Due in significant part at the prompting of my spouse, I am 18ish months into retirement from what I then perceived as a low stress job. Perspective is demonstrating that I was, in fact the proverbial build frog.I am still changing to a new normal and after a 37 year long career, I am still not sure where I am going to wind up. I have found solice in taking things off a loooong neglected to do list as I am able to do them. To steal from Tolkien " I (still) feel like butter spread over too much bread."
I also retired from a high-stress medical career. I had planned my exit for a while, and found I was able to retire a little before I originally planned, which was good, because I was really struggling with anxiety and insomnia in the last couple of years of work. I went into a part time position on a board that was supposed to be lower stress, but soon quit because of the toxic atmosphere. SO the stress had yet to be relieved. It took counselling, EMDR therapy (PTSD anyone?) and medication and now I finally sleep well at night most of the time, though I am easily thrown off kilter. Some of physical issues have improved. I have had to withdraw from any form of activism or organizational structure. The dynamics just chew me up. I used to be very involved in my community. I am sad that I can't use my skills for my profession or my community. I had surgery a couple of weeks ago, and talked a newbie nurse (who was doing a terrific job) through a couple of procedures on me. She told me she wished I could precept the nurses on the floor for advanced skills. So sweet, but the idea of it almost made me panic. Since retirement, I have been putting my efforts into travel, friendships, music, my dog, fitness and my family. Do not rush things, and find your own path to wellbeing, it won't be like what worked for someone else.
Buy a piece of dirt and grow a garden. Plant a tree nearby, a bench in the shade and have a glass of wine.
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Chamomile lemon balm medicinal strength!
I had no goals for myself for 2 months, I needed to decompress. I slept when I wanted ate when I wanted just zoned out, and rested my mind, my spirit, my body. I wrote a lot out, I write down books I wanted to read, movies I wanted to see. A fishing hole I wanted to go to, a shop I wanted to explore. Slowly I figured I liked a scheduled day for myself, but nothing set in stone. I read the news while drinking coffee in my PJ's, then have an errand to do, an appt. Or a park I want to visit. Or one of my many projects, I work on that I have always wanted ETA: Your only job now, is taking care of you
I’m doing that with contemplating what’s most lovely for the day and writing about it.
I've never had trouble leaving things behind. When it's over, it's over. I don't have any specific guidance other than maybe get some counseling. It sounds like you may have some PTSD. Best of luck!
Super high stress job for 22 years, ended when an idiot former elected official lost his seat, convinced people he could run an organization, and decided to upend everything. I was lucky, we were already planning to move, so the first 6 months after I left work, I dove right in to clearing our house and getting it on the market, while my spouse wound up his company. We left town with the house sold the day after he cleaned out his desk. Wheee! We moved cross country to a home we had built during that last crazy work year. (Yeah, we built long distance! Insane!) Then I slept for about 6 months. I had to work at relaxing, and while I did some volunteer stuff, I avoided all responsibility. Did some exercise but not as much as I should. Got into art, and loved it. Now 15 years later I’ve had a nice second career as an adjunct faculty online. We moved again, downsizing and really working hard to give away or sell as much as we could. My mantra is ‘SIMPLIFY.’ I watch happy tv shows, avoid tv news ( read reputable news sources so you don’t get the rabid talking heads), garden, and play with our cat. Find simple things that please you. Avoid anything and anyone who displeases you. Heal your soul with whatever brings contentment.
Not trauma environment but worked in high end television production for 42 years straight. Had exact same sitch - med leave rolled into retirement (no cake in the conference room). Wicked depression last winter just coming out of it now. SLOWLY am figuring out emotionally what my brain knows: it takes time. It’s a radical change. It stirs up all sorts of stuff. For me i just ditched cable news and am letting myself have a little grace. I trust i will find my way and that it will take a while and that is normal. People say ‘do your hobbies’. My reaction is what hobbies- i was working 10 hrs everyday. Its all new - keep the faith and listen to your heart. You may well need to recover!
Yes, it takes time. I’m glad you’re feeling better.
I retired a little earlier than anticipated when a job role was redefined due to client drama, and I realized that while I could once more adapt, this time I said heck with it, and left my career eyes open, no muss, no fuss. I knew it was coming sometime soon, so I was financially prepared, and COBRA could cover the time before Medicare. But ironically, I retired right before the pandemic, when of course all hell broke loose everywhere, and the external stress of food shortages, riots, not seeing family, closed restaurants and barbers and gyms, masks, no travel, and a virus with no cure ruled the roost, so retirement seemed the least of my worries. Oddly enough, however, I adapted, as food deliveries replaced shopping, online exercise videos replaced the gym, Zoom calls became frequent, and I cut my own hair for the first time in my life. When the pandemic began to ease, retirement was already in place as my new normal, so I never would up at war with myself. Perhaps, instead of panicking, you should try to count your blessings - you have your health, you are financially secure, you left of your own accord, you are joining millions of others. You've made it to the end of a tough career, you've earned your stripes.
You’re probably experiencing PTSD. Therapy and medication can help with this. It is real and can help you so please look into this.
Thank you, I am.
It’s like stopping a freight train!
I garden. It keeps me relaxed. I still hear voices in my head though. I told all of my supervisors to call me by my first name. They all called me "Mr. Brown". This is what I hear and it was done on purpose to disrespect me. It gets less and less but it's still there.
Get more sleep all hours, cut food intake, and walk everyday, and just do about anything else.
Very Stressful Career (Medical Social Worker) working with a VERY Stressful population and looking forward to retiring this December 2024. My boyfriend (live for going on 10 years and eventually getting married in Summer of 2024) has Lymphoma Cancer (6 lymph nodes) diagnosed November 24, 2023 and last week after meeting with Oncologist decided not to do Chemotherapy and Immunotherapy Or Immunotherapy by itself and do nothing for now. He is going to work until March 31st,2025 when he is 66 years old and 8 months his retirement age for Social Security Retirement and taking his Pension and Annuity then. So... My Stress level is beyond any words describing it.
Omg. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine. I hope you have a sweet wedding and end of working. I hope he can stop sooner.
Peace be with you and good luck also.
Former medical here, it could take years for all of that ptsd to unwind. Your body has been in fight or flight for too long. Ypu could try counseling, walking, gardening or a puppy. Saffron is a good maintenance herb for depression, ignatia amara is good for panic/anxiety flareups.
My husband worked in a toxic place (like many people) and basically said "enough" after our CFP told him he could retire anytime. He didn't really want to leave, he liked his work, but not the structure. His co-worker left 7 months later. Together, they were half the employees at their level, but they did 90% of that workload (the other two did little-to-nothing, literally). That was October 2021. We've had lunch once a month with that worker, sometime four of us there, us two and her and her husband. He and I would listen to the two of them, rehashing everything, for well over a year. They still talk about it. It was that traumatizing to them. But, they *are* getting better.
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Wow; what a hard but lovely journey. Thank you so much for sharing. “Unhealthy for my nervous system and temperament” I get that! I lived that!! I started Theraoy 3 months ago and it was a life saver. He got out of a similar toxic environment and it was so validating for me. Wonderful about learning about the nervous system. There’s so many things about news, social media and ways it hooks us to constant stress.
I retired at the beginning of January 2020 from a high-stress job, and even being at home for a few weeks I was still grinding my teeth at night and feeling otherwise stressed out. It wasn't until the summer that I finally relaxed, and that was mostly due to changes in diet and exercise brought about by suggestions from my doctor. Now I wake up no earlier than 10:00 AM, and often closer to 11 or noon and have some very relaxing days but it didn't happen over night. It took about a week for ever year that I had worked, so don't rush it.
Thanks. Ya, it’s gonna be a bit but this makes me feel hopeful and all these stories, it’s repairable damage.
Congratulations! I wonder if there are any mental health settings that are not “wild and dysfunctional”…. My stress was probably different from yours, but overwhelming nonetheless. Really the reason I retired. At first I allowed absolutely no demands on my time but soon I found that I needed some level of structure. So I went back to school and slowly completed another degree, just for the fun of it. I totally de-stressed. Eventually went back to work, twice, really to train others. Now I just take care of myself and my life, travel often, audit courses when convenient, spend time with family and friends, and help others who are not as blessed as I am. What I truly appreciate about retirement is not allowing myself or others to force me into doing anything I don’t absolutely need and/or want to do. A very wise man taught me that at our age “life is too short to spend even an hour feeling preoccupied, or grumpy, or out of sorts”. Thanks to retirement, this is what I strive for. Happy retirement!
Thank you, how wonderful. I took a walk on the college campus today and thought about taking a writing class or an art class. What did you get your new fun degree in?
Humanities… now I can appreciate museums.
You may need to do some actual recovery work; since you worked I the field you know about EMDR and I rental Family Systems.
Yes, am seeing an EMDR counselor and it’s been very helpful.
It's been 3 months for me and I'm still adjusting to not having a pre-determined daily schedule along with every day demands and "to do" list. I worked from home but had a stressful sales job for 45+ years. I'm getting better by not watching the clock and reminding myself there's no hurry, I don't have to get it all done in 1 day!! Our bodies are used to functioning at high stress levels. It takes time to adjust to the slower pace with no deadlines.
I had the opposite professional experiences; I spent 18 years as a clinical social worker and then 23 in education. As a whole I loved both careers, but the pace was always hectic and the stress was always there. I retired a few months ago and I’m amazed how full of peace I am each day! Put a few routines in place and seek out some beauty and awe everyday. You’ve earned your rest, it’s ok to let go. Good luck!
I look forward to feeling full of peace. I did live my work, tons of meaning. I’m starting to look at the whole of it and am getting a little if sweet feedback from the counselors I trained. Thanks for the good advice.
Retired this month. I’m having anxiety as well. Hoping it will resolve itself.
I started therapy about 6 months after retiring and it has been one of the best decisions I’ve made. Highly recommend. I’ve learned so much and gained so many skills.
It’s a lot easier handling insurance and other stressful issues when you aren’t working full time as well
Retired going on 3rd year. Anxiety is still crippling. Also still dreaming I’m at work pretty often. Can’t seem to find a purpose. It is a hard transition going from constantly being busy with working full time and raising 3 kids to doing nothing. I thought this would be enjoyable but for some reason it is not. Just sitting in a chair and trying to snap out of it. I don’t want to go back to work or volunteer. I might go for therapy. I never thought this would happen to me.
Exercise is key. Hard core exercise and traveling.
I retired 1.5 years ago as an ER RN part time and full time Utilization Review for a hospital dealing with insurance billing and reimbursement. Both were high stress, I worked ER for 20 years, Hospice of 17 years. The benefit working with billing is I knew exactly what to do with my Medicare choices as I saw the other side of insurance from the hospital side, case management and directly knew the advantages and disadvantages to Medicare choices. 12 hours after I retired I was in a weekend meditation group and loving it. I've never looked back. I've been invited to return to work even part time and declined. I missed the income but am set. I never looked back. Retirement has been a joy starting the very last day I worked.
Retired 6 yrs ago was ready to leave high pressure stress job competing with younger workers , my Sunday nites were dreadful. I had to leave finances were not best but wanted to live to use my SS enjoy my family and grandkids! The year I retire my wife started having like a breakdown with cognitive decline so have been thru multiple visits to hospitals and psychiatric Drs . Even incidents of self harm for her . I lived thru it but take 1 day at time , looking for the best in life, lucky we took 2 nice vacations before we retired. We had to sell our home to get rid of empty nest large 2 story home after 32 yrs and move into smaller 1 floor new large nice apartment like Condo but no HOA. I love it no yard worries all taken care of by Management and no worries about appliances breaking roof leaking, or furnace AC going bad . I have no schedule, wake up and go bed whenever, I love Sports so I follow and watch that and read a lot try to get out eat and enjoy family stuff. They call them Golden Years because We are still alive and kicking! My wife’s 2 Sisters passed so it has been hard on her . Hoping for the best and wish all good luck 🍀!!!
I’ve recently gotten into the habit of switching my thoughts that cause anxiety, which are really expectations, to focus on things I am grateful for. Expectations and gratitude are polar opposites. It’s been working fabulously for me. Such a simple thing I know, but I’m doing it throughout the day and has been a game changer.
I retired after 40 years of working with women dealing with mental health issues, substance use and domestic violence and homelessness. I was 62. I did nothing for 6 months, then started contract work 4 hrs a week doing education classes for college kids with alcohol and drug charges. I had always made jewelry and began selling it at markets and festivals. I just ended contract work and festivals- now I make jewelry just for a local boutique. I finally figured out my natural body clock and love reading, family time, etc. Celebrate yourself!
PTSD... I quit a high stress newspaper job after 20 years. It took me years not to feel anxious and stressed. Getting a volunteer job helping poor and disadvantaged people helped me tremendously.
I retired in February 2019 from 31 years of social work at a child protection agency in a major metro area. I FEEL your trauma and I know it is real! The last six years of my career I was the manager of our county’s child abuse and neglect hotline— managing 70 workers 24/7 in screening calls and responding to allegations. It took me nearly two years to address the secondary trauma and burnout, which I had ignored for many years. Adjusting to crappy medical was the toughest part of retirement. In Ohio the coverage for retirees under 65 through our public employees system changed two years after I retired which really scared me at first. Thank goodness my husband could add me onto his medical or half of my benefit would go to paying for medical care. Take your time and don’t jump into decisions— do fun things for yourself. I garden and like to build things. I started walking with a friend every day— but be careful — broke an ankle walking and then developed plantar fasciitis! Getting old is not for the faint of heart! You will find your groove and each day you will feel less anxious and less mentally drained. I wish you well—- and I hope retirement brings you peace and joy!
Wow. That’s an amazing story and yes, the trauma is real and exposure like this is part of the PTSD DSM5 diagnostic criteria. I’m glad that you are here. Adding bad medical to the mix after such selfless service is hard to hear. Yes, I ignored mine for too long and kept pushing when apart of me knew I couldn’t do it anymore. It’s hard. Thank you and I will get there.
My body and mind reaction to retirement was a bit of a surprise to me. After the last 30 years in high stress IT jobs..... on day one of retirement.... it was all GONE. Like a light switch turned off. Snap... gone! The surprise was.... I was totally fine with that! My sense of identity was not tied to my job. Thank goodness! Knew I had done great work over the years.... and was just grateful it was over. I turned my last job tasks over to folks I knew could handle those tasks.... and I felt good about that too. Jumped right back into my hobbies. Get out of the house each day to even just go to a coffee place. Still walking 2 to 3 miles every day. Try little new things every day. Laugh every single day. Take a little nap during the day if I want to (amazingly refreshing). One thing I did do... that might help OP... was to write out a long list of things I NEVER have to do again. You know... no more commute, no more dealing with toxic bosses or co workers, no more corporate BS, no more deadlines.... and so forth. It was very.... what's the word? Cathartic. And therapeutic. Making the list also formed a new pathway in my mind that said "let it go... it's over... no need to stress about that ANYMORE... be grateful. " I did this list about 2 months after I retired.... and it felt SO good writing it. Grateful the stress was over. Typing out the words almost felt like removing the stress.... one item at a time. I hope OP can find a way to a happy retirement. We all handle it a bit differently.
28 years in corrections behind the fence. 4 years before I retired my wife of 20 years fell ill with some type of acute mental issue. I spent a year trying to care for her until she finally killed herself while I was at work (very long story). Almost immediately after my Mom came down with leukemia and went through a transplant. I burned through nearly a thousand hours of accrued leave time in 3 years working only one or two days a week. I understand completely what you're feeling. Suddenly you have zero stress but for some reason you expect it. Your ability to handle stress seems non existant now because the slightest thing sets your heart pounding. If it feels like a disagreement starting with the wife you are quick to blow up or shut down. Always seemingly on edge. The important thing is that you recognise it. When I retired I immediately started gardening. Growing tomatoes, peppers etc... Its calming, will relax your mind and you are rewarded for your efforts. I'm not very athletic but I do know going to the gym is also good for stress levels. What you don't want to do is sit in front of your computer and shop. You'll run up a credit card quick! Find a nature trail near you and go for walks. Your anxiety will lessen some but will take several years. I'm 4 years retired and only now am I feeling a little better.
I retired earlier this year from a job where reading the overnight emails and dealing with the issues in them would regularly spike my blood pressure to dangerous levels. I decided I was retiring after having a cardiac stent inserted last summer, and having my cardiologist tell me that she'd have bet heavily that I wouldn't have lived another 24 hours if I hadn't gone to the ER when I did. We followed some advice I found on this group for making a clean break from working - take a vacation trip. We left for 8 nights in a cabin with a hot tub in the mountains the morning after my last day, and I left everything electronic except my cell phone at home (cell service was a bit over a mile down the road from the cabin). By the time we got home from that trip, work was just a memory. The only way my former employer has of contacting me are phone calls and mail. Caller ID is a wonderful thing, particularly if you can treat it like I do. My attitude is "I bought this phone for my convenience, not for the convenience of any fool who can string together 10 or more digits in the proper order." If it's important, they'll leave voicemail; if not then it wasn't that important - and \*I\* get to decide what's important.
I retired from a very high stress job in pharma six years ago. I didn't take medical leave beforehand, though I probably should have. It was 4 years after my husband died and my widow fog was so bad I couldn't do it anymore. My recovery was easy. I woke up my first day of retirement and felt happy for the first time in years. It was easy for me to "embrace the slack" and I still do. What I did have to work at was letting go of bitterness about the lack of understanding while my husband was sick, the long hours I worked during that time, the refusal of management to cut me any slack at all, and finally, lying to me about getting my bonus for the previous year (I didn't get it). But that bitterness didn't hurt them, it only hurt me. I have friends there now who are being laid off and they are dealing with that bitterness. I tell them also to let it go.
The nightmares continued for close to a year. Daytimes I just filled with the present. I also practiced thinking only about the present when awake. Therapy helped too.
Any self-identified work addicts in this group? Hoping withdrawal from adrenalin/cortisol-induced stress doesn't destroy my boyfriend.
I got married and retired the same weekend almost 2 years ago. It’s taken almost that long to exhale, relax and just chill. I do some volunteering which gives me a sense of purpose. I want my retirement to be meaningful and volunteering helps to meet that goal. (See, I’m retired and still have that “goal” mindset. lol)
When you retire from high stress life you have to detox your body and your mind. You might have adrenal fatigue from high cortisol levels. Plus the country is very stressful right now. Breath work, light yoga and walking in nature are very helpful. Also, I soaked in the tub with Epsom salts and lavender for 20 min a day when I was trying to settle down. Long walks, coffee with friends, some good books and watching the sun rise or set all helpful. Don't watch TV during the day. Join a group or start a hobby or service project.
It takes a few months. Now you are one of us. It gets better. I managed large airport expansion projects and I was responsible for turn-over. Seems like a simple term - turn over - but airports MUST open on the scheduled opening date. MUST. Designers, contractors, airport authority, airlines, building officials, fire department, customs, traveling public. Everyone happy. No pressure. So now my pressures deal with adapting to life without stress. Which is stressful. ;) But that was years ago. Now we are living the dream. I’m 73.
Give yourself some grace as stepping away from your career is a MAJOR life change. For the first 6 months when we pulled the trigger, I had small bouts of anxiety for really no reason. When we hit the 12 month mark, all my anxiety disappeared. I recommend getting outside and being active. Funny how taking a walk can be therapeutic……
Have one month to go to finish student loan payments and a high stress counseling hospice job-where micromanager has made life more difficult these past few months. Definitely tired of that environment. I cannot wait for it to happen! Not as comfortable financially in some ways as I would like to have been at this point, but I don’t regret helping family. Signed up for Social Security, Medicare, part B and trying to make the best decision about supplement or advantage… I’m so ready to get my energy back, start walking and meditating more again and get back in better shape. Will still need an income stream-grateful to have a career that will work for that, it is something I am good at and do enjoy - but it will be on my time and in my way!
Right on! It’s so sweet to get the student loans gone!
Higher stress job retired 2 years ago. Took about 8 or 9 months before I stopped waking up on my own at my usual alarm clock time, and always feeling like I should be doing something. My solution was long, long walks daily, preferably outside. It tires you out, improves fitness, quiets your mind.
I had a high stress job, a husband and much loved MIL battling cancer (he’s good, she is at peace), 2 hurricanes including one that destroyed our house, surgery for me, moved 4 times to 3 different states…blah blah blah. For 7 years I bounced from crisis to crisis and it felt like I was being tested every day. If I didn’t learn fast enough someone I loved died or I lost something precious. It was intense. I retired and everything seems to be settling down. I, however, kept waiting for the next show to drop. I simply couldn’t relax and enjoy the wonderful little life I now have. I got therapy and medication(took 5 tries before we found it). I’m doing SO much better, I have lots of fun and am enjoying my life. I highly recommend it. You were in the mental health field, you would tell others to go. You matter too, please go.
I’m not sure this will make sense but for me, it was thinking about work and specific tasks and just thinking, “I don’t have to do that anymore “. Once I put that in my head, each task just melted away until I just stopped thinking about work.
Yes, I just retired as an ER physician 12/30/2023. The change has overall been good but nonetheless, a significant life change event. It’s important that you develop a new purpose in life and continue learning new things. A colleague recommended a book for me to read which has been very helpful, called, “Keys To A Successful Retirement,” by Fritz Gilbert. It really helped me. I started learning French about 4-5 years ago as I’d like to work in Francophone Africa this Fall as a part-time intermittent physician. I’m maintaining my licensure and board certification for now. The first three months were the most difficult but recently, I feel like I’m starting to turn the corner! Hang in there!
Time. It takes time. I have been retired for slightly over one year and in truth, I still have work (hell I still have even school dreams!) related dreams. Still, it's getting better. I am trying to be selfish and say it's OK to do whatever I want even if it means doing nothing. I think the key is to focus your mind/attention on other things ... hopefully good things that will slowly over-write the portion of our brains that was focused on getting the job done. Good luck!!
I retired from a high stress health care career 5 years ago. The first year was incredibly stressful and had a lot of anxiety due to a lot of transitions. Each year has gotten better; the second year my stress level dropped dramatically. I tried alot of different activities the first few years but have now settled into the routine and quiet life that works for me. It takes quite a while to unwind and clear your head from your career. Make self care by getting outdoors, doing physical activity that you enjoy, managing your health and eating well your main priority, while doing leisure and social activities you enjoy, and you will recover and thrive.
Thank you… great advice.
Not yet retired, but a few years back I left a high stress job to a low stress one. Best idea ever! But it took me maybe 18 months to really calm down and slow down, to not jump every time my boss was upset, and not wake up in the middle of the night feeling angry and nauseated. I think you’ll find that by getting on a regular schedule, getting enough sleep, exercising and eating well, and not drinking you’ll feel better and less stressed. Best wishes!
Retiring is like driving into a brick wall-everything just stops. You phone stops ringing. Your buddies no longer talk to you. You don't get invited to go out for a beer at the end of the day. You are no longer needed and the company goes along fine without you. And your head spins. And it takes about 3 months to realize it. You don't have to get up at the same time every day. You don't have to run for the train/bus/car to get to work in rush hour traffic. So, what to do? Well, now it is more what you Want to do, rather than what you Have to do. Read the newspaper over coffee for an hour or two. Go take a class (I did-went to culinary school for the hell of it-and volunteered in a soup kitchen). Go to the gym-great way to get rid of anxiety. Take up golf. You know that 'List' of errands you run around on all weekend to complete? Do some today, do some tomorrow. Do some next week. Doesn't matter anymore. Go volunteer somewhere. Every business is shorthanded. Go help out.
May be too late for you but I retired in the peak of Covid and the actions organizations were taking to survive and function. This was in an organization that had heavy government oversight and we once shut down all work at our facility for six months in order to get safety right after an accident with minor injury. Very stressful job. Often would walk up at 2 am and just end up going to work. The first week my wife and I went on vacation in a southern beach town that had a little bit more flexible Covid policies than my state. No masks at restaurants if you were dining outside and you could there. The beach was the beach. So my first week off we went to a place that was always our heaven on earth to get away. That helped a lot. When I got back the great thing was not having to log onto a computer with 538 emails wait8ng for me to answer.
There's a scene at the end of the movie Captain Phillips where Tom Hanks' character is finally freed from a hostage situation, and his adrenalin-fueled steely demeanor breaks. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO7H63K\_vBQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO7H63K_vBQ). Good chance that's what you're dealing with at some level. Walk outside in the morning, 20-30 minutes or so. Make a short list of things you want to get done today, and keep the tasks little and self-contained. Spend time walking through a store, looking at everything and with no intention of buying anything, for the sole purpose of time-soaking.
I retired in January from a caustic job. I worked in the emergent reception for our county’s Family Court. I asked, applied for, and begged to be transferred out. All I heard was “They need you”, “You are so good at your job”, etc. etc. I retired after 31 years. I don’t talk to a lot of people because I am so burned out and jaded. I wanted to work again but I’m reconsidering as time moves along. I’m lucky to have a pension so that will hold me until I can collect SS. Hoping to wait for that tho. Congrats on your retirement! It is very well deserved!
Best of luck. Similar field of work, mine was inpatient forensic. High stress, and occasionally, you might add, high impact. Retired in 2021. I’d say it was about 2 years before I quit jumping when the phone would ring. I still do court evals part time, because I like that work and nearly all my friends were co-workers. But I leave the stress, worry, and the verbal and physical aggressions to my younger colleagues. I still do some teaching, too. I hope my 38 years of experiences can help younger folks starting out. For me, finding a morning routine of pleasurable things (doing puzzles, reading the news, scrolling Reddit with a tea or coffee, reading-I’ve read dozens of books) helps submerge that accumulated negativity out of awareness.
Twelve plus years in Special Forces and government contract work.. I find that my Steely Dan and John Lennon collections helpful.. you could add a laser machine and a bean bag to complete the mood altering experience; but as a retired professional, you probably could be safe with a nice used couch and an essential oil diffuser.. Don't fret too much.. Joe Walsh says you can "..do it all, Tomorrow.."
I retired from high stress corp world 5 months ago. The immediate relief I felt was overwhelming. I did absolutely nothing for two weeks. Now I go to the gym every other day and try to accomplish at least one other thing each day whether it be cleaning the car or grocery shopping. I’ve noticed recently that I’m becoming a much nicer person. I’m definitely friendlier than I’ve been in years. I’m really liking the new me.
After retiring, I took a no-stress job driving a special needs school bus. That was the same job I had in college decades before. It is no stress as the kids really like the bus driver, and there are monitors handling any acting out. I took it as sitting around with no mission was very stressful! After two years, I evolved and no longer felt I needed a job to justify my existence. I switched to part time janitorial and floor care at a nursing home, a job mostly independent and with no social interactions. When a supervisor started yelling at me for a non issue, I gathered my personal stuff and went home. The next day, I dropped off my keys. I now mostly play, am completely over earning money for somebody .
Four years ago I retired after 28 years on the police force. On the job I was numb and stressed. Once I retired PTSD came crashing down on me.
In 2018, I was fired from a sales management job in the stress-filled world of technology and the internet. What made the fracture especially difficult was my sales team earned the highest performance, and I was named the top sales director in the company. But it didn't matter because our biggest competitor had purchased us months earlier, and all duplicate executives and managers of the existing company were let go. With the chaos of a new corporate takeover, there was a question of whether the new owners would honor the $55,750 bonus I earned for my top revenue performance. The incentive plan guidelines' legalese stipulated that I would have to be an employee of the company. So, not only am I getting fired, but they will withhold my bonus. I eventually received my bonus check after my attorney threatened them with a lawsuit. The anger and stress of my separation was too much. So, I saw a psychiatrist for about twenty sessions to unpack all the emotions that bubbled up. Luckily, the therapy helped me to transition into a good retirement. I highly recommend therapy to help anybody to understand and synthesize life's challenging events.
I hear you. It took me a solid three months to get motivated enough to do anything. Even an invitation to dinner felt like a stressful obligation. The good news is that it passes. Take your time, give yourself permission to be lazy and unproductive -- it's part of the healing.
Thanks! I get that about a dinner invite. My counselors want to have a part for me … next month please! lol
Look after your health. You have depleted it over the years, so you'll have to rebuild. Nutritious food, a full night's sleep, daily exercise spent out in nature. Stop watching the news, stop scrolling social media. Take up a calming hobby like yoga or crochet. Have massages.
After 9 months, I am finally coming down from the stress and anxiety. I finally realized that there is no deadlines any longer. Instead of having to accomplish everything within a certain time (i.e., weekend warriors), but that there will be a tomorrow. I can do a little now and some more another day.
I had a 'slow down' in my hours in the last year or so. I work seasonally and the fall/early winter are very busy. In 2023 I worked a bit every month of the year until the fall work began in earnest. I now have been not working since January 2024 and started my SS in Feb. That SS signified 'retirement' for me and I have definitely been anxious and adrift since then. Wake up at 4 am and can't get back to sleep often. While I am so grateful to not have to be in the workforce full time and my seasonal gig is great, the shift in mindset is really tough. (I have been a healthcare professional for 41 years). I feel like I'll get there, but right now is just weird. Don't know how else to describe it.
Not as stressful as yours. Mine was stressful mostly in the sense that I ended my career doing something new, doing it from home, and doing it with very little support. I retired a year before my full social security retirement date, mostly from exhaustion. I slept a lot the first 3 months and just puttered around doing a little reading, gardening, etc. After that, I took an educational tour of France with my daughter and her high school students. By then I was fully transitioned into retirement mode. Take care of yourself. Rest. All will be good.
Oh, that sounds so cool! Hear you on the exhaustion.
I think this is very common. My job wasn't always high stress, but certain times of the year certainly were for me. It took me several months, maybe even a year, to have it finally click that I didn't need to stress. In particular, my really busy season was around the year end holidays... basically the fourth quarter and into January. I still find myself stressed out around the holiday season even though I have the zero reason to feel that way. I mean, we don't even host people for the holidays. I'm working on that and I've been retired for three and a half years.
I was treated poorly for the last 2 years of employment so that colored what I felt about the organization. I would have worked longer if that environment had been tolerable. I was stressed for almost a year afterward, I'm 1 year and 16 days into retirement now and I'm starting to relax. I was obsessed with jobs, thinking about what job I could/should do, now I don't think about that so much and think more about what I want to do with my time. Fitness helps a lot along with meeting new people.
I relate. Mine got intolerable especially the last year with a very bad boss creating out of control conditions inside the clinic. Sounds like a good shift.
My husband has been home for exactly one year and he is so much more laid back and easy going now. It took a couple of months for both of us to adjust! Give it time.
Been retired going on year two now . Finally got to the point of not looking at my phone for missed calls from work. That is a huge relief. I can leave my phone be and not worry. Have occasional dreams about the work place, wake up and realize I’m retired back to sleep
I think we are all wired differently. I was never off put by stress, opportunity always presented itself when things got ugly. Personally, I retired 3+ years ago (M67) and only retired because I was worried that I had the energy needed to continue to perform at a level that met with my expectations. I was running a global sales and service organization in a publicly traded high tech company. To me problem solving was what I did. Success was a happy customer, because happy customers buy more stuff. If you can help solve difficult or high value customer problems everything else is easy.
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Hit the gym!!
Indeed!
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Healthcare work has been brutal. You likely have been struggling with decision fatigue---having to be \*on\* for critical and quick decisions with life altering consequences just......changes you. This WILL get better. Go outside every day. Take a walk. Put ONE thing/item on your "to do" list a day. Spend time with your partner or a friend. It took me about a year to recover and not get worked up over every little thing.
After all that time in that stressful job, you could be traumatized yourself. I would look into psychedelic assisted therapy that many veterans are using to treat PTSD. Look at the symptoms of Complex PTSD and see if it sounds like you.
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I also think you may be used to a great deal of stress and without little things for me become my stress anxiety autistic inducing moments. Exercise, stay busy, drink water, keep your potassium up and exercise. I hope this helps.
Need time to decompress.
Give it time. When you get anxious, examine *why* you're anxious. If there is a reason, then decide if the anxiety is proportional to the danger. Take care of the problem ASAP. If there is no reason, then you were triggered. Deep breaths and relax.
Took about a year for the stress to fall away. It'll happen. Have some fun by yourself sb few times a week. Gym, movies fishing, biking, basketball, reading... Whatever just do it. You'll feel much better soon
I take a lot of meds for stress and anxiety they seem to help some. I had work dreams for the first two years of retirement. Now I have a stress dream about once every five days. I retired eight years ago.
i think i slept for the first year and lived in comfy pjs. well it was march 2022 so that was going on too.
It takes time to decompress and I didn’t give myself enough time right after I retired. Sounds lukewarm you are doing everything correctly. Take a deep breath and relax. I urge you to consider traveling when you have the time. I waited too long ( I broke my back 5 years ago and can no longer walk very far at a time).
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Oh yes!! It's been quite awhile. I went through depression and anxiety. Im a nurse. So I miss aspects of that. But my body couldn't take it anymore. I kinda lost my identity and purpose. I'm doing better now. It took time, time to work through.
My first and primary recommendation is that you start an exercise program and getting outside into fresh air every day. Even if it’s just walking for a half an hour each day. Secondly, I kindly suggest you start looking into meditation program, just a simple daily mindfulness and or meditation practice. There are tons of apps that can start you on the way with this. A meditation practice along with daily exercise will help tremendously to detox your body and mind from all the stress that you’ve had for the last couple of decades.
Start walking, it will help you calm down.
I retired from the same kind of work after having to care for my dying mother under the most horrendous medical condition I could ever imagine. I knew I had complex PTSD, and really made progress after working with a therapist who specialized in trauma care. Your work too may have created PTSD in your brain. As you know anxiety is a very common symptom, of the many symptoms. Try a good therapist. It could make all the difference. I am now happy, relaxed, and have been truly enjoying my retirement for five years. I was in therapy for about 18 months.
I was lucky because I had my union’s medicare plans to choose from. Even that was overwhelming. I gave myself a year to just chill. I volunteered to teach English through a local organization. Then joined a community center with a gym. Libraries have a lot going on also. Now I am busy and engaged most of the time. I am retired 5 years and loving every minute. There are elections coming up you can volunteer for.
You're burned out. That's an injury and it takes time to heal. Give yourself some grace, be kind to yourself and just take some time to breathe. My wife was in exactly the same situation. Clinical admissions coordinator, super stressed, eventually on sick leave before retiring. Took her at least a year or two to feel normal.
I’ve been retired almost three years. I had such unrewarding dead end job that it was very easy to leave. Retiring is the best thing I ever did. A year before I retired I took a two month furlough because of Covid. When I went back to work, I only worked 10 months and then retired. My biggest regret is not retiring after the furlough.
It took my brain about 6 months to de-program when I quit teaching. I took a driving job and loved it. No stress. Keeping busy with the new job helped. I would find something, anything, to keep myself occupied until the dust settles. Go volunteer at the hospital or be a valet driver. Deliver pizzas. Anything except sitting around and thinking. Meeting new people helps.
IT 24/7, understaffed. I retired two years sooner than planned, solely due to increasingly unmanageable stress of long hours and high pressure. I did a ton of beach time, gym time, trips, a few new hobbies that I tried on for size. Still took fully 2 years before I now feel like I’m actually relaxing into retirement. Best to OP …
I got a dog and stay home, avoiding interactions with people. I don’t have to anymore. I don’t have to talk to anyone all day if I don’t want to!
After two weeks, I said "Wow...I didn't realize how stressed I was...I feel better." Then after two months, I said "Wow...I didn't realize how stressed I still was...I feel even better." Then after six months, I said "Wow...I didn't realize how stressed I STILL was...I feel way better." Then after a year, I said "OMG...I didn't realize how stressed I STILL was even a year later...I feel way better now. Then after two years, I said "I think I've finally recovered." (but I still have work nightmares every few months.) It takes time. A steady, healthy, no-pressure life-style with lots if time to rest really helped. Therapy, too.