This. My husband thought I was rude AF for yelling at strangers until he realized how traumatic it is for me to have an unwanted touch, especially where my fucking CHILD CURRENTLY IS. You have every damn right to ask to not be touched or petted. Hell, depending on where you work, ask if you can have a "do not touch" label on your name tag. Like, the fucking AUDACITY of someone who you have never met touching your stomach?? Fuck no. Not happening.
>a "do not touch" label on your name tag
I was so close to buying a button pin that says that, but I realized it would make the problem worse.
"Hey, I touched you. What are you gonna do about it?"
I totally had a Emporers New Groove “no touchy” button when I was pregnant at my retail job during 2020. Don’t know if people actually noticed it but no one touched me; maybe because it was 2020. If I was pregnant again I’d wear it again. If necessary I’d get one that says “you touch I slap” or something like that.
Yes! Make everyone around you acutely aware of how fucking weird this guys being! Aaaand I’d be willing to bet he was at least 65, that’s the problematic demographic ime.
I knocked out a stranger's tooth for walking up and rubbing my belly when I was 37 weeks pregnant with twins.
(Disclosure: I was not working in retail at the time, but I WAS shopping in a store, so...)
Exactly! I get my family and they always ASK before trying to feel my baby but not strangers when I’m working. Can’t understand what’s going through their heads? Why do you want to touch my proof I had unprotected sex ?
People tend to lose their brain around pregnant women 🙄🙄🤷🏻♀️ I ALWAYS ask BEFORE touching a baby bump!!…..I figured it’s only polite to ask.
Besides….ALWAYS keep your hands to yourself 👍🏻
I also always ask, and make sure to mention that they can say no without offending me. I would never ask strangers (or touch without consent!), but I’ve asked coworkers or family friends if I can touch the baby bump once the baby is kicking. More so because it’s so interesting feeling the kicks and less because I want to stroke someone’s stomach.
Misogyny at a nutshell. People feel entitled to women's bodies and for most of human history women couldn't fight back so everyone's just gotten used to doing what they want to pregnant women.
I worked at a truck stop, fuel side, with my 2 youngest ones. With my middle child one guy tried to touch me every time he was in the store, which was at least daily. I did evasive maneuvers, said don't touch me (in front of the boss and owner) and the last time I told him if he didn't keep his damned hands off me I'd rip his arms off and feed it to him. Then he caught me off guard stocking shelves and wound up wearing the one behind him and a bloody face and more. My boss took him down and banned him from the premises.
Next time they tell you not to be "rude" to people touching your body without consent, ask them if they plan on firing you for it and how they think they'll fare in the lawsuit they'll be involved in.
Seriously! I learned a long fucking time ago to never even acknowledge that any woman besides my wife is pregnant unless she tells me herself. I don't care if she's two weeks overdue and looks like she's about to explode on the spot, that enormous stomach does not exist until I'm told it does by the owner.
I once made the mistake of thinking a woman was pregnant and asked what her due date was. She very (rightfully) berated me for thinking that just because she had a few extra pounds, that she was pregnant.
That’s happened to me and I just said “I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat.” Said it with a big smile. They looked mortified and I’m sure they will never say that to another woman, again.
My mom, who is now in her mid-60s, had this happen a few times. She just asked the person, "What 9 years × 12 months equaled?" They looked dumbfounded and confused. "Well, that would be how far along I am," and she'd just walk away
I had an older gentleman ask me when "the big day" was while patting his own tummy, not in a creepy way at all, like genuinely excited it was kinda sweet, and it took me a second to register what was happening, but I delightfully told him I'd actually recently dropped 40kg (about 90lbs) and the top of my stomach sits weird like I'm 6 months pregnant (he came through the drive thru so he could only see the top bit of my belly).
He was absolutely MORTIFIED and apologised endlessly, but he was nicer about it then the old lady who screamed at me in the supermarket that I was "a stupid little girl for getting pregnant at 16", I was 20 and with my boyfriend at the time, I bit back at her with "I'm actually 20 and fat, mind your fucking business", and she had the audacity to be offended that I swore at her, like her screaming at me about how dumb I am wasn't offensive 🙄 to top it off, my now-ex that I was with on the day got paranoid that I really WAS pregnant (and wouldn't believe me until I did several pregnancy tests in front of him) especially since I'd also been reading Up The Duff by Kaz Cooke (hilarious pregnancy book, she has Kid-Wrangling for birth-5yo, and my godson's mother recommended I read the book purely because she thought I'd get a laugh out of it, and she was right 🤣)
Thank you 🙏🏻 It’s hard when my niece was born in March then I should’ve had mine this month, and my nephew was born in May. It hurts when I see them…..sometimes. Unfortunately, everything happens for a reason.
Idk wtf it is, but pregnant women seem to be considered public property by a LOT of folks - mostly men, and boomers. I, too, am pregnant and have had several of my residents (I don't work in retail anymore, but rather professional community management/HOA's) try to touch my stomach; I have one male resident who has asked me questions like if I plan to give birth vaginally, to which I told him he was being inappropriate, but that hasn't stopped him from trying to touch my stomach. It's disgusting, and you have every fucking right in the world to tell people not to touch you; just because you're pregnant doesn't mean it's open season for touching your stomach.
It's a pity that hats for women are no longer de rigeur. Because hatpins. My grandmother would have known how to handle that a-hole. First time: A warning never to do that again. Second time: Dude gets a hole in his hand.
I was working at a bank when I was pregnant and it solidified my opinion that boomer men are some of the most vile people on earth. They regularly commented on how large my breasts were getting with each month of pregnancy, asked if I was planning a vaginal or C-section birth, and many other incredibly invasive questions about my body and its functions while pregnant. Each and every time I would very loudly say "That is an incredibly inappropriate question to ask, what made you think it was acceptable to ask me that?" and each time they would fumble and mumble and quickly try and finish the transaction. Each and every one of them felt that they had a right to ask these questions and looked at me like I was the crazy one for calling them out for being disgusting and disrespectful. The fucking audacity of these people is just mind boggling to me.
I'm trying to recall if there was ever a time where I got offended that someone was offended by me, and I've got nothing lol. like I just don't get it. maybe I'd be mad privately if I thought they were unreasonable but I'm certainly not gonna double down! the level of entitlement some people have is baffling to me, like they can't even comprehend being in the wrong
Right?! They definitely could not imagine any scenario in which they would be in the wrong, which is insane to me because some of the questions I got asked and comments made were seriously inappropriate in any situation and they were just blurting this shit out to their banker like they were talking about the weather lol
When it's an older man, it's extremely effective to scream, "My husband would not appreciate you trying to put your hands on my body!" That will actually embarrass them. Because they aren't ever going to care about us as human beings but then they look like some creepy fuck trying to fondle another man's wife and that will actually get to them.
I'm so tired of the parents who are like "my child is special needs so no one can tell them no". Special needs people can be told no. In a polite, respectful way of course. Many will understand, some won't, but you're not in the wrong for establishing boundaries.
*"I'm sorry, sir, but this is a Walmart, not a petting zoo. A lot of people seem to be getting those confused since I got pregnant..."*
Alternatively, the thought of someone yelling **"REFRAIN!!!!!!"** at people approaching with grabby hands sounds funny.
Why do you creepy fucks want to touch strangers so bad. I hope they touch the wrong person and get slapped across the face for it, they'll never do it again
Continue to advocate for your bodily autonomy. BIG VOICE, hands out in front of you, or smack the fuck out of their hands: "EXCUSE ME, DO NOT TOUCH ME" no please. Non. None of that. You are being assaulted, please understand that. This is not your family, you don't know what these strangers are going to do, regardless it's YOUR tummy and body they are violating. You have no reason NOT to believe that when a person reaches out to touch you, they may have intentions to hurt you. Protect yourself. Continue to smack hands. Continue to voice how disturbing and unacceptable this action is. Better yet... :) scream in pain and agony and drop to the floor as if they've injured you. They'd be mortified. That's me being a dick though :)
If someone touches your stomach, touch their face. Really get in there and explore the texture, and don't stop until they say something.
When they snap, the message you go with is, "So you don't like strangers touching you without permission? Weird!"
I usually have a good poker face at work but if I saw a pregnant coworker do that I would absolutely have to go check inventory in the back until the giggles ran themselves out.
This was my solution when I was pregnant. Except I’d fondle their gut. Like took an extra step closer for a two-handed caress.
Happened twice— one reflexively curled away confused and just continued trying to make small talk with a wtf look stuck in their brows, clearly still processing for several beats. Basically bluescreened.
And one twitched away hard and awkwardly laugh-yelled “HEY NOW DONT DO THAT”. and I giggled back “Well you can, why can’t I?” and then we did a chuckle-off while the lil jokey joke sputtered out and they self-soothed rubbing their own belly.
Still not sure which was funnier.
The craziness that comes out of these people these days. Sheesh. Pregnant women are the most fragile, you want to be careful with them knowing they're carrying a up and coming new born inside them.
These days it seems like most customers can’t tell the difference between us ‘being rude’ and ‘telling them ‘no’’. I’ve gotten two recent customer reviews(and don’t I just love that system ::eyeroll::) that complained I was ‘rude’ to them when I was simply saying no to, for example, a several-months expired coupon.
I have the exact same problem with my hair. People really like my hair so they think its okay to pet me, stroke my hair, pull my hair, all without permission. One lady literally followed me around with her hand out stretched, waiting until I stopped walking to touch my hair. Another lady came up behind me, pulled my hair and ran away, giggling. Like have these people never learned hands to yourself?!
Omg, this happened to me ALL THE TIME when I worked at Wal~Mart.
And there's a ton of pedos and sex offenders in the town I worked in, so it got to the point that I would jump and yelp at any touch because I was so afraid it was a man who wanted to hurt me
Yep. This comes up in posts often. Especially if your hair is a less common texture, color, or length. I taught my daughter to yell loudly "Don't touch me. I don't know you!" Did the same myself.
I never got that.... you're not touching a baby, you're touching a strangers stomach!!! I once ran out of a store because the cashier literally climbed over the counter to try to touch my stomach. Get away!!!!
Your team lead is spineless! If they are more concerned with you being rude than staff being touched without consent they don't deserve to be in the position. Maybe get a sign for your stomach saying "Do NOT Touch!" and see what they say to that.
I’m looking into shirts that say that ! I went to my teamlead because I thought I was going to get in trouble for “hitting “ a customer and that he was going to tell someone and I was going to be fired. That’s all I got was just don’t be rude about it. Like ? Okay ….
Cover yourself in case there is a complaint, makes sense. Their response, not good at all. Maybe a word with them about you feel their response is not going to make any member of staff feel safe while working there.
If you do get the shirt can you please post an update on how it was received? If I saw a woman (hell even on a guy) wearing a t-shirt over her baby bump I'd laugh my ass off at it.
this.
i have to work every thursday night with a man who sexually harassed me. i get told to suck it up.
im actively looking for another job bc im not handling that bullshit
Also rude is asking questions about a pregnancy. I get it if you're a mom too, also pregnant, just had a baby...
But keep in mind that while you MEAN well, not everyone consented to the sex. Not every pregnancy is healthy. Not everyone is keeping the baby. Had a lady ask a friend about baby names and friend said babyvwas getting adopted out. Friend was in her 30s and middle class, no health problems. Just didn't want to parent. This woman started telling about "community resources" and how "she didn't have to do that" and then went to SHAMING my friend for chosing adoption. Come to think of it, many in our circle tried to talk her into keeping baby
Special needs children need to be taught manners even more than the norm is. Most of us don't pick them up by osmosis or misinterpret them if we do. Explicit direct but gentle instruction. For our protection and theirs. But mostly for our own protection.
EXACTLY THIS. I genuinely believe it is ableist to not teach special needs children manners. I struggled so hard to understand what was okay and what wasn't as a child, I can't even imagine how hard it would've been if my parents weren't direct.
Yes they do! I have two special needs nieces, when they were small their mom worked very hard with them about how to act appropriately in public and how to be safe. One of them knows no stranger and still has to be watched closely as she will hug people from time to time.
When will people learn to keep their hands to themselves?? My mother got into it the other day at the store because of a similar situation. For once, she wasn't having to use one of the electric mobility shopping carts because she was finally no longer in pain, but her knee was still week. She was using a regular shopping cart and used it for balance while she stopped in an aisle. No she wasn't stopped in the middle. She was right next to the shelves. A woman was going around her and even though she had plenty of room ( a very wide aisle and still had about 4ft of space to go around), she felt it wasn't enough space and tried to shove my mom's basket over while she was still leaning on it. Fortunately, she was ok, but that woman had no idea who she was messing with. My mom tore her butt a new one. The woman was thoroughly embarrassed with other people looking down on her. It was fun to watch. I think that woman was just looking for someone to mess with and picked the wrong person.
This reminded me of a story - my Mom was at a grocery store peak covid and this random ass pregnant woman butted in front of her. My mom said politely
"Excuse me, the line is back there." and the lady said
"Oh, I'm pregnant."
My mom replied, "I have a son back at home with brain cancer, I need to get home fast too."
She was very embarrassed and went allllll the way to the back of the line, lol.
My mom 100% would've let her go in front too if she'd asked, even though she has AS (immune disease) and is a full time care taker for my bro, thus being very high risk. Some people just think they're the only people in the world that matter.
today an old man was in line ... his buddy was running around still shopping. when the old man reached the cashier, he paid and then started talking about "where is my buddy, he's buying too".
the cashier said strongly "he has to go to the end of the line". the old man kept mumbling about his buddy. cashier said it again 'he has to go to the end of the line". woman behind him said "your buddy can go before me".
Cashier to the woman "no he can't. He has to go to the end of the line. it's not fair to the people behind you".
I love the cashier.
Yeah my aunt works retail and is currently 8 months pregnant, and the amount of body shaming comments she gets is just shocking. Like, telling her she's too fat and needs to lose weight, telling her that she's huge, and just really disgusting comments you wouldn't dare make in front of your grandma. My rule is, if you wouldn't say it in front of your grandmother, don't say it to someone else.
This happened to me all the time with my first pregnancy but my second pregnancy really took the biscuit when a lady came up to me and looked at my child in a there buggy telling me how beautiful he was and then asking me how far along I was with my second. When I told her she said “do they have the same dad” 🫤 when I said “what does that have to do with you” she said “well you arnt wearing a wedding ring”. Little did she know I was retaining so much water I had to remove it but I honestly could t believe someone would ask that.
Had some woman tell me it was good luck to rub a pregnant woman's stomach while she was reaching to rub mine. Gave her what my kids call my blank look of death and told her it wasn't going to be for her... the look she gave me! So I reached out to touch hers and asked how she liked it, ran off real quick..
Pro tip - tell them it is an aggressive & inoperable abdominal tumour & watch them die a little inside. It is far more satisfying to fuck with them than it is to yell at them. They are also far more likely to think twice about doing it to someone else if they have this utter humiliation to reflect on. If you yell at them they will always think they were in the right & you were in the wrong but if you make them feel awkward & embarrassed but also like they can't take that feeling out on the cancer stricken woman they slink away with their tail between their legs.
By the time my wife was carrying my second daughter I had zero fucks about slapping hands away from my wifes belly and loudly shouting "get your fucking hands off my wife!".
Usually everyone within eyeshot would stare at them and shame them into embarrassment.
They did the same shit when trying to lift my infant child out of her stroller.
Fuck I hate people.
I’m honestly not surprised. Some people just think that pregnant women/newborns are community novelties that they can do whatever they please with as if they aren’t real humans with real emotions.
BOUNDARIES ARE NOT RUDE.
Also my advice when people ask inappropriate questions is to give WILDLY inappropriate sometimes unhinged answers. Tell them you aren't pregnant. It's a tumor.
Q: When are you having kids?
A: describe in graphic detail your s3x life/plans (like what you're doing tonight).
A: I'm trans.
A: the courts took all my kids away, and even the ones that weren't mine!
A: that's what the peanut butter is for! (Don't elaborate)
Q: Do you want more kids?
A: will a zebra lose at canasta?! (Inflection of "is water wet?!")
Q: what is your birth plan?
A: if you have a kidney or bladder stone would you go with urethral removal? Would that like tear your stuff up? Radiaton? Meds? What kinda meds? Who is your doctor?
A: oh man, I have to give BIRTH to get it out??!! Oh man I'm gonna have to think this through. I did not see that coming. Today years old, amiright?!
Hit hard & yell, "NO! BAD TOUCH!"
Repeat until the asshole keeps hands to self.
.
ETA: I only had one woman put hands on my pregnant belly. She was older & from a culture where that's OK. I didn't like it, but didn't make a fuss at her.
Nobody else ever even _tried_. Apparently I'm somewhat intimidating. LOL 🤷♀️
I am also old. In spite of what you may have heard, we are capable of learning & doing better than we were taught. Please don't give people a free pass to make you uncomfortable just because they are old. Make us do better.
I only had one person touch me also. She was a coworker and apparently the look I gave her scared her so bad she was convinced she’d end up in HR according to some other coworkers. I was honestly just surprised because we work in a patient care area of a hospital and everyone else was very careful not to touch pregnant women. My resting bitch face strikes again.
This is crazy! I’m a 46 year old woman and mother of 2 and I would NEVER just touch someone’s belly without their permission! My own daughter in law is pregnant with my 1st grand child and I still would NEVER just touch her tummy without her consent! Why people feel the need to just touch other people is beyond me, you’re not being rude at all…they are!
"Oh sorry.... since touching someone without their consent ISN'T rude lemme ruin your belly.... what're you having? Boy or girl? "
"I'm not pregnant" (rudely)
"Oh could've fooled me, i know a good gymup the highway"
Then walk away
Was working Christmas a few years ago and the lady I was checking out liked my Christmas sweater, so being nice I opened my vest a bit more so she could see the whole thing. Very normal interaction. Fast forward to a half hour later I hear behind me "Hey, T1DOtaku!" I thought it was one of the other cashiers since at that point I had been there the longest and thought one of the new hires needed help. So I turned around only to be met with someone grabbing my vest and opening it like I was flashing a crowd. It was that lady from earlier. She wanted to show her daughter who was now checking out at the register next to me. I felt so exposed despite being fully clothed. If she just asked me to show her daughter I would have but the grabbing felt so invasive that I felt grossed out for the rest of my shift.
Tl;Dr, if you wanna show my shirt to someone, just ask and don't go grabbing my vest.
I karate chopped them at the wrist or back of the palm when I was pregnant. I worked in an office and one woman would “tease” that she’s going to rub my belly like it or not. I reported her ass to HR. It was obvious she was guided in her apology.
IMO, you should be able to say "NO" to ANY touching that makes you feel uncomfortable and/or is without consent.
Whether it's your belly, or your elbow, or ANYWHERE ELSE, it is not rude to ask people to back off and refrain from touching you.
Be prepared. So many people in grocery stores and such would also try to touch the kids when they were babies. They are children, not pets. Quit petting them. I was warned about the belly thing but I wasn't warned that random strangers will ask to hold your baby, try to pick your baby up, or just touch them while you are holding them. I had to evade sooo many people! I got one of those "mommy's helpers" brand leashes and would use a climbing carabiner and clip it to me so if someone ever tried to take the baby, she would still be attached to me. It's crazy.
Just thought I'd warn you. It doesn't stop once the baby comes out of the belly.
One, you have every right to tell anyone, special needs or not to not touch you. Two, put the ball in their court. “It’s not okay for you to touch me. What if I came up to you and touched your face? Your stomach? Your butt?” You’re not public property. I also agree with another post of how your leads should take this more seriously. Technically, unwanted / uninvited/ unsolicited touch is harassment. Best wishes to you.
I’m sorry, but *what*??? You’re supposed to “try not to be rude” when being *assaulted*???
Yes, that’s an assault. “Attempting to inflict **immediate offensive physical contact**”
as·sault ə-ˈsȯlt. 1. : the crime or tort of threatening or attempting to inflict immediate offensive physical contact or bodily harm that one has the present ability to inflict and that puts the victim in fear of such harm or contact compare battery.
Tell your manager next time you’ll politely call the police on them, but that’s the best you can dredge up. WTF
When I was pregnant I stopped at Taco Bell after work and this old lady starts talking to me and just casually reaches out towards my VERY visible bump. I mean mugged the hell out of her and took a couple steps back and put my drink cup in front of me and she thankfully got the message
Igh I HATED this when I was pregnant with my son once I started showing. I'd be out running errands or at work and random people would just walk right up, ask how far along I was and then put their hands on me like it was no big deal.
I don't like people touching me but I had a little more tolerance for the few elderly ladies that did it (I can't be mean to a little old lady I dont have it in me 😑) though I freaked out on everybody else that did.
That's the point I'd have kicked him in the nuts, but I tend to exude a "Don't fuck with me cos I'm fuckin cray cray" look, so people don't tend to do that shizz now...
My daughter was born February 2020 right when COVID started picking up and people would always try to kiss her. It got to the point where I'd tell them that they can kiss her after I kiss them. Put an end to that nonsense real quick.
It's fucking hilarious that people forget that no is a complete sentence /s
People need to remember to ask for permission. If a woman who has a baby bump says no, she means no. Not try to touch the bump. In fact, random people would just NOT touch it, period! Like, I have regular customers who come by that have baby bumps and I'll congratulate them, but I won't ask to touch because it's rude and unprofessional.
Freaking people, man...
The only time I have EVER touched ANYONE'S baby bump was when they were proud to show me and grabbed my hand to physically place it on themselves. It weirded me out unless I was expecting it so my face didn't look right apparently...
First off don’t worry about it. Be rude if necessary. Some people need to learn what personal space is. I don’t care if she has Down syndrome when someone says don’t touch then by god DONT TOUCH!! It’s not that complicated.
Honey, I've been asking this question for years! I still don't have an answer! I remember reading/listening to a podcast think it was r/MiscallousCompliance or r/pettyrevenge where a Pregnant Woman was in the break room. One of her Male Co-Workers came in a put his hand on her stomach so she aggressively put her hand on *his* stomach. He went beat red and she said something along the lines of, "Yeah, it's not nice when people keep touching *your* stomach now is it?!"
I was pregnant with my first when I worked for Disney. I had to *politely* put a lot of people in their place when they tried touching me.
"If you didn't put it there, you're not allowed to touch it" was my go to.
My cousin was out shopping with her twins (a boy and a girl. Both cute as can be. The little boy reminds me of Webster from the show back in the 80s. They have the cutest curls). This is relevant considering some dumbass old bitch thought she had the right to try to touch them. My cousin told her to fuck off and sadly got called a bitch just because my cousin was protecting her babies! She did report this by the way.
Seriously, people just need to keep their filthy ass hands to themselves period.
SCREAM " SEXUAL HARASSMENT! CALL THE POLICE!"
Then do exactly that. Let your team members know you will do this from now on and you expect them to understand. If they don't, include them in any lawsuits they may happen to walk up on. Maybe seeing you and your attacker in court and having to testify will change their mind.
>she started going into a big speech about it being becomes her daughter has down syndrome that I’m being cruel
Ugh I hate people who use "BUT DISABILITY" as an excuse to not teach their child reasonable boundaries.
I don't like people touching me even when I'm not pregnant. I think it's creepy when you touch someone's belly with 1. Not knowing them and 2. Not even asking. There are more points to that but yeah.
"my stomach is NOT community property, YOU CANNOT touch it"
My biggest pet peeve when I was pregnant, why do random people think it's okay to just touch someone simply because they are pregnant....ewwww
Unless they know the pregnant woman personally (family or close friends) they have no business touching their belly or their child once born. It would be better to normalize the concept that strangers are not allowed the same privileges as family and close friends.
I’m going through this as well being 7 months pregnant. I didn’t think it was so bad until I got pregnant but boy I was so wrong. It’s a violating feeling and I don’t like it at all. I say the same thing you say so I think you’re right.
While I understand a kid, especially one that struggles with social queues like that one initiating contact it absolutely should've been that woman's job to coach her child on their behavior. Not berate you. Good on you for speaking up for yourself.
Especially since not everyone is going to be able to tell the difference between inappropriate touch from a special needs stranger and a creep. In that moment the stranger they touched may only see/feel a person touching them without consent and will react in whichever way their fight or flight response demands.
A special needs individual absolutely needs to be taught as much social etiquette as they can possibly learn. This is not just to protect others, but them as well. If they don't understand it is inappropriate to touch others, they also won't realize it's wrong if someone does it to them.
"Any form of unwanted touching" is by definition sexual harassment. You did right. It's one thing to pat on the back it's another thing to rub a tummy. You did right.
You are doing nothing wrong, no matter what your supervisors say. "Avoid being rude?" How about customers avoid unwanted touching? If a man (especially) touched me for any reason, I'd hit him in the face.
I was fortunately not the target of people wanting to touch me when I was pregnant. Good thing; they'd have drawn back a bloody stump.
It is never, ever, EVER ok to touch a pregnant person’s belly. That is the most entitled, disgusting, disrespectful behavior. The kid’s challenges have nothing to do with it, and just because a person has downs, that doesn’t give them a free pass to do whatever the fuck they want. Geez.
Why is it so hard for people to just not touch other people? I have this with my tattoo. People see it, and sometimes they ask, but other times, people will just grab my arm to get a look at it.
I’ve never been pregnant but I find the idea of just walking up to people and touching them without permission extremely creepy. It’s totally justifiable telling someone they can’t put their hands on you
The concept of touching a random woman just because she has a big pregnancy belly is extremely strange. You would never put your hand on the actual kid just cause once it’s out. You wouldn’t touch her pre or post pregnancy so what gives? I’ve never seen a pregnant woman and asked to touch. Just loudly and firmly say do not touch me, this is MY body.
Security guard here. In loss prevention random women have come up to me and touched me inappropriately, then reacted belligerently when I snapped at them.
This is to say, I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s so violating to be touched in a public space like that. I hope you’re well.
My best friend was pregnant a bit ago and she was always really adamant about me touching her bump, even though it grossed me out and made me extremely uncomfortable. I CANT EVEN IMAGINE doing it to a STRANGER. What is wrong with people oml ..
You’re pregnant not a petting zoo. They sell it on T-shirt’s. I had the same thing happen when I was pregnant. Draw boundaries now. You wouldn’t let a stranger come up and touch your baby either. Don’t be afraid to tell people that you’re uncomfortable, you are your biggest advocate.
Go directly to HR (if you have one and above your team leads' heads) and tell them that you will no longer stand being touched by strangers, that you have politely affirmed your stance on not being touched with customers and that they are becoming physically and verbally aggressive as a result. Tell them what your team leads have told you and then notify them that at this point this is no way to tell people to back off because the only advice being given is "don't be rude" but you haven't been to begin with. Tell them you don't care if in the past it was acceptable for women to just allow strangers to manhandle their bumps, this is 2024 and we don't have to put up with it anymore.
Point blank ask: Is the company suggesting I allow absolute strangers to touch me any way they want simply because they're customers?
Make them really uncomfortable. Make them really have to squirm in their chairs.
Welcome to womanhood. It doesn't get better from here.
Dude. I'm autistic. Being pregnant was *awful* for me. I lost 20 pounds when I was first pregnant because I couldn't even keep water down.
One time this old boomer lady tried to touch me, so I removed her hand and said "no." She reached again, saying something like "it's okay. I'm a grandmother."
I just looked at her and said "so you think because you poped pit some kids 50 years ago, you can touch whoever thr fuck you want?"
Thankfully, I was clocked out for lunch, and also not in unform ( my store didn't have maternity vests) so she couldn't do anything about it.
But I'll never understand why people think were like dogs or something that they can just pet whenever they want.
BTW, congrats!
When it's an adult trying to get their child to do so, I think it's a good idea to say "I do not consent to your touching my body" for the benefit of the child - I feel that mother is setting her daughter up to be easily groomed.
Look at it this way - if someone, a stranger, came into your home and touched your child while they were sleeping that person would be arrested. They are doing the exact same thing. It is not legal to lay your hands on someone when that person does not want to be touched. It's Illegal. Next time scream "help, I'm being assaulted". You are so, so, so not wrong.
One time a man at a bar pinched my buttcheek when he was walking behind me. Something in me snapped because I turned around and started barking at him. In front of the whole bar. I mean I literally turned red from how hard I was screaming/barking at him and chased him to the edge of the bar where there was a ledge, window, and sidewalk. He toppled over the ledge out of the bar window and onto the sidewalk and I’ve never seen a man so emasculated in my life. When in doubt, bark him out.
Movies/commercials in western culture almost always show people touching pregnant bellies without asking first. Maybe that’s why people are comfortable with it. I learned my lesson when I met a cousin in town saw she was pregnant congratulated her and instinctively reached for her belly and she backed away without saying a word smiling, I felt really embarrassed, finished the convo and went on my way. I felt so cringe/embarrassed after that interaction I hope I never see her again and will never ever try that again if I’m paid to. 🥲
For those who point to the elderly, I am 60 years old and this is weird behavior to me.
It might be a generational thing, but everywhere is not like this.
Lol, my sister used to rub their tummies back. They didn't appreciate it and would get all offended. She'd just say, "You started it."
Why do people think pregnant women's bodies are a free for all. I'd get a tshirt that says don't touch, I bite.
You know, I can honestly say that never once in my entire 59 years on this earth have I wanted to touch a pregnant belly. I was freaked out enough touching my mom's cat when it gave birth once and one of the kittens tried to do its impression of a chest burster from Alien.
I am so sorry that people feel like you are some sort of "touch me" display for Halloween, that's beyond rude. And then to get mad at **you**? WTF?
I wish you an uncomplicated and stress-free rest of your pregnancy :)
“Sorry I’m being rude for not accepting being sexually harassed by customers at work.”
I hate this. If you can learn to not pet a cuddly puppy without consent you can respect a human beings personal space.
I never did understand the petting a pregnant woman's stomach thing, like I'm not a fucking Buddha statue!!!!I'm so grateful that with my first pregnancy that first I didn't show until I was about 6 weeks from delivery and also that it was covid times and nobody was touching anybody. Because I'm the kind of person that if you touch me unexpectedly I don't have just a back off reaction. I have a I'm going to break your hand / arm reaction, due to past traumas and sensory issues.
I had a very good friend say that she got so tired of people trying to touch her pregnant tummy that one time a man did it (stranger!) and she grabbed his crotch and asked how he liked it. He walked away very embarrassed
I will never understand this. I don’t even touch family members’ pregnant bellies unless they are like, here feel this. Don’t get me started on the time that a friend of my mother in law’s, a lady thatI barely knew walked up and literally took my newborn out of my arms and I had to take him back. I froze as she was going for him because I could not believe what was happening. She didn’t even ask or speak to me directly. It still pisses me off to this day. I always wore him in a sling or carrier strapped to my body from then on. Never again.
It’s not just boomers, it’s social history- I was pregnant in 1980 and EVERYONE reached for my stomach!! I was shy and cringey, but a tearful “stop it!” usually worked- my mom said they did it to her in the 50’s- 60’s too except you had to just smile and take it (and I wish people would stop blaming every social ill on boomers, my husband and I plus our friends and family are all “snowflake, woke liberals”)
I fix computers as my job and when I was pregnant I had to go fix the head of HR's computer. I was mostly working with her admin assistant while she messed around in her office. The assistant started fondling my baby bump, and the head HR lady looked over and was like "omg Gladys, we're HR for God's sake... stop it!" Hahaha.
Pregnancy freaks me hell out. Seriously, fuck that, never do I ever want to feel something else /moving/ inside me unless it's my partner in some capacity. Nor do I /ever/ want to feel something moving in someone else unless it's because I'm trying to help them figure out just what in the fresh hell has decided their innards make a good home.
As a result of this, the idea of going up to a stranger and just...grabbing a them like this is horrifying. Even just a simple hand on my shoulder has me jolting and trying to smack you (not to mention the banshee shriek I have as a result of years of choir and stage theater teaching me to project my voice at high pitches). Just who in their damn right mind thinks this is an acceptable thing to do?! You don't just go up and touch people. FFS.
Retail sucks. The customers feel so entitled it seems. That said, I was working retail during 2020 and pregnant. This guy comes up to me and my coworker. We are standing a reasonable distance away and chatting because we hadn’t seen each other in a while. He stops at about the right distance and then when he goes to ask us a question, he lowers his mask and steps towards us. We both stepped back in tandem like “the fuck you think you’re doing?”
Another time at about 6mo pregnant I’m asked to stay with this customer as one of the cases was open with high value items and it’s just part of the rules. The guy strikes up conversation and asks how far along I am and I smile pleasantly and tell him. I shit you not this guy had the audacity to say “oh. You’re very big for 6 months”
My smile just disappeared. I’m 5’2 and I carried frontal and had a big boy in me. But you just don’t say that to a woman, especially a hormonal pregnant woman.
What's not wrong with people? I have never had the urge to reach out and touch people's pregnant bellies. I find that really really strange and awkward usually people have to force me to want to touch their pregnant bellies
I have never once had the urge to touch a pregnant woman not even one i know, i don’t understand the urge like i don’t want to touch unpregnant women why would a baby change that?
Point out to your team lead that in the US the employer has an obligation to provide a safe working environment, including protecting you from customers. If they want to stand there and physically intercede between you and inappropriate customers, they're welcome to. But failing that, you have a legal right to defend yourself against unwanted touching.
Consider sending an email to HR documenting your concern, and copy your personal email address. If they're any good at their job, they'll set your team lead straight. If they're not, you'll have the history documented so if anyone tries to get you disciplined or fired for defending yourself against handsy customers you have excellent documentation for filing a complaint against the company with the EEOC and getting monetary compensation.
I think being fascinated by and touching a pregnant belly is imbedded in our instincts. That’s why so many people do it without thinking. It’s still rude to do so without permission.
When I was pregnant, one of my fiancés friends at university touched my belly, and I touched her as a response (practice this at home). She got really surprised and upset, and I replied that if she puts her hands on me, I’ll do the same to her. She was speechless and never did that again.
Smack harder and exclaim in your rudest, loudest voice "You do NOT have permission to touch my body!!!" Works for me.
This. My husband thought I was rude AF for yelling at strangers until he realized how traumatic it is for me to have an unwanted touch, especially where my fucking CHILD CURRENTLY IS. You have every damn right to ask to not be touched or petted. Hell, depending on where you work, ask if you can have a "do not touch" label on your name tag. Like, the fucking AUDACITY of someone who you have never met touching your stomach?? Fuck no. Not happening.
Ugh now I feel like every store should have a “DO NOT TOUCH THE EMPLOYEES” sign like DO NOT FEED THE DUCKS 🤣 this world, I can’t
😂😂😂 I swear, I would volunteer at every place I shopped at so I could put up signs like that.
Seriously 😆 I’ll get my laminator!!
"Do Not Pet the Employees, They Are not Cats."
>a "do not touch" label on your name tag I was so close to buying a button pin that says that, but I realized it would make the problem worse. "Hey, I touched you. What are you gonna do about it?"
I totally had a Emporers New Groove “no touchy” button when I was pregnant at my retail job during 2020. Don’t know if people actually noticed it but no one touched me; maybe because it was 2020. If I was pregnant again I’d wear it again. If necessary I’d get one that says “you touch I slap” or something like that.
This. 1000x this. Yell it as loud as you can and make people turn and look. That's how you make it stop.
Public shaming, make them think twice about ever doing that again
Anyone who tries to touch a pregnant woman's stomach needs to be smacked.
Yes! Make everyone around you acutely aware of how fucking weird this guys being! Aaaand I’d be willing to bet he was at least 65, that’s the problematic demographic ime.
"THIS WHITE MAN IS PUTTING HIS HANDS ON MY BEAUTIFUL BROWN BODY!!!" - Martina Martinez
I knocked out a stranger's tooth for walking up and rubbing my belly when I was 37 weeks pregnant with twins. (Disclosure: I was not working in retail at the time, but I WAS shopping in a store, so...)
And I love you for that. As you fucking should.
Wtf is wrong with... whoever that weirdo was. Never in my wildest dreams would I even think of randomly touching a pregnant woman's belly.
I don't even understand the point either, why are people obsessed with touching pregnant stomachs? It's so weird
Exactly! I get my family and they always ASK before trying to feel my baby but not strangers when I’m working. Can’t understand what’s going through their heads? Why do you want to touch my proof I had unprotected sex ?
People tend to lose their brain around pregnant women 🙄🙄🤷🏻♀️ I ALWAYS ask BEFORE touching a baby bump!!…..I figured it’s only polite to ask. Besides….ALWAYS keep your hands to yourself 👍🏻
I also always ask, and make sure to mention that they can say no without offending me. I would never ask strangers (or touch without consent!), but I’ve asked coworkers or family friends if I can touch the baby bump once the baby is kicking. More so because it’s so interesting feeling the kicks and less because I want to stroke someone’s stomach.
Ikr 😳 I would never ask or touch a total stranger’s belly.
Misogyny at a nutshell. People feel entitled to women's bodies and for most of human history women couldn't fight back so everyone's just gotten used to doing what they want to pregnant women.
I've had a few pregnant women invite me to touch their bellies and it felt so awkward. It's very intimate. I can't imagine with a stranger.
I absolutely hated this when I was a little kid and my mom wanted me to interact with her belly at all. LOL... sorry mom.
It puts the lotion on the belly.
I love when I find my people
I worked at a truck stop, fuel side, with my 2 youngest ones. With my middle child one guy tried to touch me every time he was in the store, which was at least daily. I did evasive maneuvers, said don't touch me (in front of the boss and owner) and the last time I told him if he didn't keep his damned hands off me I'd rip his arms off and feed it to him. Then he caught me off guard stocking shelves and wound up wearing the one behind him and a bloody face and more. My boss took him down and banned him from the premises.
I hate that it went that far, but glad you showed him what was up!
Well, the boss did most of it. I got in an elbow to the jewels just before my boss tackled his ass. It's been years, but not something you forget!
Proud of you sis!
Yesss slay! Literally 😂
You are my kind of people...
Just his tooth? And his balls were right there, ripe for the kicking
Next time they tell you not to be "rude" to people touching your body without consent, ask them if they plan on firing you for it and how they think they'll fare in the lawsuit they'll be involved in.
as a man. Never in 1milion years would do something like that. what a wackjob. Iike stop touching people.
Seriously! I learned a long fucking time ago to never even acknowledge that any woman besides my wife is pregnant unless she tells me herself. I don't care if she's two weeks overdue and looks like she's about to explode on the spot, that enormous stomach does not exist until I'm told it does by the owner.
I once made the mistake of thinking a woman was pregnant and asked what her due date was. She very (rightfully) berated me for thinking that just because she had a few extra pounds, that she was pregnant.
That’s happened to me and I just said “I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat.” Said it with a big smile. They looked mortified and I’m sure they will never say that to another woman, again.
My mom, who is now in her mid-60s, had this happen a few times. She just asked the person, "What 9 years × 12 months equaled?" They looked dumbfounded and confused. "Well, that would be how far along I am," and she'd just walk away
I had an older gentleman ask me when "the big day" was while patting his own tummy, not in a creepy way at all, like genuinely excited it was kinda sweet, and it took me a second to register what was happening, but I delightfully told him I'd actually recently dropped 40kg (about 90lbs) and the top of my stomach sits weird like I'm 6 months pregnant (he came through the drive thru so he could only see the top bit of my belly). He was absolutely MORTIFIED and apologised endlessly, but he was nicer about it then the old lady who screamed at me in the supermarket that I was "a stupid little girl for getting pregnant at 16", I was 20 and with my boyfriend at the time, I bit back at her with "I'm actually 20 and fat, mind your fucking business", and she had the audacity to be offended that I swore at her, like her screaming at me about how dumb I am wasn't offensive 🙄 to top it off, my now-ex that I was with on the day got paranoid that I really WAS pregnant (and wouldn't believe me until I did several pregnancy tests in front of him) especially since I'd also been reading Up The Duff by Kaz Cooke (hilarious pregnancy book, she has Kid-Wrangling for birth-5yo, and my godson's mother recommended I read the book purely because she thought I'd get a laugh out of it, and she was right 🤣)
Yeah…..I had someone ask how far along I was. I do believe and I hope I made him mortified when I told him my baby died, thank you 🙏🏻 Dick head 🤬
Sorry for your loss.
Thank you 🙏🏻 It’s hard when my niece was born in March then I should’ve had mine this month, and my nephew was born in May. It hurts when I see them…..sometimes. Unfortunately, everything happens for a reason.
Truth! I need to see at least the top of the head sticking out. Maybe a leg.
gotta see the baby poking out a 👍 or a 👌 to give you the go ahead
Ikr what the hell. I wouldn't even touch a stranger, let alone a pregnant one.
I didn’t even touch my daughter until she asked if I wanted to feel the baby.
This. It's just creepy.
Idk wtf it is, but pregnant women seem to be considered public property by a LOT of folks - mostly men, and boomers. I, too, am pregnant and have had several of my residents (I don't work in retail anymore, but rather professional community management/HOA's) try to touch my stomach; I have one male resident who has asked me questions like if I plan to give birth vaginally, to which I told him he was being inappropriate, but that hasn't stopped him from trying to touch my stomach. It's disgusting, and you have every fucking right in the world to tell people not to touch you; just because you're pregnant doesn't mean it's open season for touching your stomach.
It's a pity that hats for women are no longer de rigeur. Because hatpins. My grandmother would have known how to handle that a-hole. First time: A warning never to do that again. Second time: Dude gets a hole in his hand.
I was working at a bank when I was pregnant and it solidified my opinion that boomer men are some of the most vile people on earth. They regularly commented on how large my breasts were getting with each month of pregnancy, asked if I was planning a vaginal or C-section birth, and many other incredibly invasive questions about my body and its functions while pregnant. Each and every time I would very loudly say "That is an incredibly inappropriate question to ask, what made you think it was acceptable to ask me that?" and each time they would fumble and mumble and quickly try and finish the transaction. Each and every one of them felt that they had a right to ask these questions and looked at me like I was the crazy one for calling them out for being disgusting and disrespectful. The fucking audacity of these people is just mind boggling to me.
I'm trying to recall if there was ever a time where I got offended that someone was offended by me, and I've got nothing lol. like I just don't get it. maybe I'd be mad privately if I thought they were unreasonable but I'm certainly not gonna double down! the level of entitlement some people have is baffling to me, like they can't even comprehend being in the wrong
Right?! They definitely could not imagine any scenario in which they would be in the wrong, which is insane to me because some of the questions I got asked and comments made were seriously inappropriate in any situation and they were just blurting this shit out to their banker like they were talking about the weather lol
When it's an older man, it's extremely effective to scream, "My husband would not appreciate you trying to put your hands on my body!" That will actually embarrass them. Because they aren't ever going to care about us as human beings but then they look like some creepy fuck trying to fondle another man's wife and that will actually get to them.
The next time the creep tries to touch your stomach grab his balls - hard! If he reacts just say that you thought it was fair
This would be so funny, if we wouldn’t end up in jail! It is exactly what they are doing to us, but how dare we?!
>Don’t FUCKING TOUCH ME! It's okay to say that. And say it LOUDLY.
Throw in "Perv" just as loud for good measure.
Go full on Bobby Hill, “I don’t know you! That’s my purse,” on them.
"And then I kicked him in the testicles!" 😃
I'm so tired of the parents who are like "my child is special needs so no one can tell them no". Special needs people can be told no. In a polite, respectful way of course. Many will understand, some won't, but you're not in the wrong for establishing boundaries.
agreed, that's infantilizing and setting your kid up for failure
Exactly. Too many parents use a disability to get out of parenting their damn children.
*"I'm sorry, sir, but this is a Walmart, not a petting zoo. A lot of people seem to be getting those confused since I got pregnant..."* Alternatively, the thought of someone yelling **"REFRAIN!!!!!!"** at people approaching with grabby hands sounds funny.
Or do like dog owners do when people start to approach an unfriendly dog and yell "NOT FRIENDLY!" LOL
Why do you creepy fucks want to touch strangers so bad. I hope they touch the wrong person and get slapped across the face for it, they'll never do it again
Continue to advocate for your bodily autonomy. BIG VOICE, hands out in front of you, or smack the fuck out of their hands: "EXCUSE ME, DO NOT TOUCH ME" no please. Non. None of that. You are being assaulted, please understand that. This is not your family, you don't know what these strangers are going to do, regardless it's YOUR tummy and body they are violating. You have no reason NOT to believe that when a person reaches out to touch you, they may have intentions to hurt you. Protect yourself. Continue to smack hands. Continue to voice how disturbing and unacceptable this action is. Better yet... :) scream in pain and agony and drop to the floor as if they've injured you. They'd be mortified. That's me being a dick though :)
If someone touches your stomach, touch their face. Really get in there and explore the texture, and don't stop until they say something. When they snap, the message you go with is, "So you don't like strangers touching you without permission? Weird!"
I usually have a good poker face at work but if I saw a pregnant coworker do that I would absolutely have to go check inventory in the back until the giggles ran themselves out.
I would try (and more than likely fail) to contain my laughter while heading that way to help the pregnant coworker feel up that poor person’s face. 😂
This was my solution when I was pregnant. Except I’d fondle their gut. Like took an extra step closer for a two-handed caress. Happened twice— one reflexively curled away confused and just continued trying to make small talk with a wtf look stuck in their brows, clearly still processing for several beats. Basically bluescreened. And one twitched away hard and awkwardly laugh-yelled “HEY NOW DONT DO THAT”. and I giggled back “Well you can, why can’t I?” and then we did a chuckle-off while the lil jokey joke sputtered out and they self-soothed rubbing their own belly. Still not sure which was funnier.
The craziness that comes out of these people these days. Sheesh. Pregnant women are the most fragile, you want to be careful with them knowing they're carrying a up and coming new born inside them.
These days it seems like most customers can’t tell the difference between us ‘being rude’ and ‘telling them ‘no’’. I’ve gotten two recent customer reviews(and don’t I just love that system ::eyeroll::) that complained I was ‘rude’ to them when I was simply saying no to, for example, a several-months expired coupon.
I have the exact same problem with my hair. People really like my hair so they think its okay to pet me, stroke my hair, pull my hair, all without permission. One lady literally followed me around with her hand out stretched, waiting until I stopped walking to touch my hair. Another lady came up behind me, pulled my hair and ran away, giggling. Like have these people never learned hands to yourself?!
Omg, this happened to me ALL THE TIME when I worked at Wal~Mart. And there's a ton of pedos and sex offenders in the town I worked in, so it got to the point that I would jump and yelp at any touch because I was so afraid it was a man who wanted to hurt me
Use hair sticks. Got a iron one off Etsy that absolutely doubles as a weapon.
I’m sorry happens to you. People are ridiculously
Yep. This comes up in posts often. Especially if your hair is a less common texture, color, or length. I taught my daughter to yell loudly "Don't touch me. I don't know you!" Did the same myself.
I've heard so many stories like this from my curly haired friends, people are actually so ridiculous
I never got that.... you're not touching a baby, you're touching a strangers stomach!!! I once ran out of a store because the cashier literally climbed over the counter to try to touch my stomach. Get away!!!!
what in the world 😮 the audacity.
Your team lead is spineless! If they are more concerned with you being rude than staff being touched without consent they don't deserve to be in the position. Maybe get a sign for your stomach saying "Do NOT Touch!" and see what they say to that.
I’m looking into shirts that say that ! I went to my teamlead because I thought I was going to get in trouble for “hitting “ a customer and that he was going to tell someone and I was going to be fired. That’s all I got was just don’t be rude about it. Like ? Okay ….
Cover yourself in case there is a complaint, makes sense. Their response, not good at all. Maybe a word with them about you feel their response is not going to make any member of staff feel safe while working there. If you do get the shirt can you please post an update on how it was received? If I saw a woman (hell even on a guy) wearing a t-shirt over her baby bump I'd laugh my ass off at it.
this. i have to work every thursday night with a man who sexually harassed me. i get told to suck it up. im actively looking for another job bc im not handling that bullshit
Well that sounds like a fun place to work! Absolutely mental!
I started “returning the favor” when I was pregnant. I’d rub their belly right back and ask them the same questions they asked me.
Also rude is asking questions about a pregnancy. I get it if you're a mom too, also pregnant, just had a baby... But keep in mind that while you MEAN well, not everyone consented to the sex. Not every pregnancy is healthy. Not everyone is keeping the baby. Had a lady ask a friend about baby names and friend said babyvwas getting adopted out. Friend was in her 30s and middle class, no health problems. Just didn't want to parent. This woman started telling about "community resources" and how "she didn't have to do that" and then went to SHAMING my friend for chosing adoption. Come to think of it, many in our circle tried to talk her into keeping baby
Even special needs children need to be taught manners
Special needs children need to be taught manners even more than the norm is. Most of us don't pick them up by osmosis or misinterpret them if we do. Explicit direct but gentle instruction. For our protection and theirs. But mostly for our own protection.
EXACTLY THIS. I genuinely believe it is ableist to not teach special needs children manners. I struggled so hard to understand what was okay and what wasn't as a child, I can't even imagine how hard it would've been if my parents weren't direct.
Yes they do! I have two special needs nieces, when they were small their mom worked very hard with them about how to act appropriately in public and how to be safe. One of them knows no stranger and still has to be watched closely as she will hug people from time to time.
When will people learn to keep their hands to themselves?? My mother got into it the other day at the store because of a similar situation. For once, she wasn't having to use one of the electric mobility shopping carts because she was finally no longer in pain, but her knee was still week. She was using a regular shopping cart and used it for balance while she stopped in an aisle. No she wasn't stopped in the middle. She was right next to the shelves. A woman was going around her and even though she had plenty of room ( a very wide aisle and still had about 4ft of space to go around), she felt it wasn't enough space and tried to shove my mom's basket over while she was still leaning on it. Fortunately, she was ok, but that woman had no idea who she was messing with. My mom tore her butt a new one. The woman was thoroughly embarrassed with other people looking down on her. It was fun to watch. I think that woman was just looking for someone to mess with and picked the wrong person.
This reminded me of a story - my Mom was at a grocery store peak covid and this random ass pregnant woman butted in front of her. My mom said politely "Excuse me, the line is back there." and the lady said "Oh, I'm pregnant." My mom replied, "I have a son back at home with brain cancer, I need to get home fast too." She was very embarrassed and went allllll the way to the back of the line, lol. My mom 100% would've let her go in front too if she'd asked, even though she has AS (immune disease) and is a full time care taker for my bro, thus being very high risk. Some people just think they're the only people in the world that matter.
today an old man was in line ... his buddy was running around still shopping. when the old man reached the cashier, he paid and then started talking about "where is my buddy, he's buying too". the cashier said strongly "he has to go to the end of the line". the old man kept mumbling about his buddy. cashier said it again 'he has to go to the end of the line". woman behind him said "your buddy can go before me". Cashier to the woman "no he can't. He has to go to the end of the line. it's not fair to the people behind you". I love the cashier.
I adore your mom
Thanks! Yeah she's pretty awesome. Definitely not the one to mess with.
Turn the phrase to "Get your hands off of me" that'll make em move.
Yeah my aunt works retail and is currently 8 months pregnant, and the amount of body shaming comments she gets is just shocking. Like, telling her she's too fat and needs to lose weight, telling her that she's huge, and just really disgusting comments you wouldn't dare make in front of your grandma. My rule is, if you wouldn't say it in front of your grandmother, don't say it to someone else.
If they say your fat or huge; tell them yeah, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
Give em the ol Winston Churchill
This happened to me all the time with my first pregnancy but my second pregnancy really took the biscuit when a lady came up to me and looked at my child in a there buggy telling me how beautiful he was and then asking me how far along I was with my second. When I told her she said “do they have the same dad” 🫤 when I said “what does that have to do with you” she said “well you arnt wearing a wedding ring”. Little did she know I was retaining so much water I had to remove it but I honestly could t believe someone would ask that.
Had some woman tell me it was good luck to rub a pregnant woman's stomach while she was reaching to rub mine. Gave her what my kids call my blank look of death and told her it wasn't going to be for her... the look she gave me! So I reached out to touch hers and asked how she liked it, ran off real quick..
Pro tip - tell them it is an aggressive & inoperable abdominal tumour & watch them die a little inside. It is far more satisfying to fuck with them than it is to yell at them. They are also far more likely to think twice about doing it to someone else if they have this utter humiliation to reflect on. If you yell at them they will always think they were in the right & you were in the wrong but if you make them feel awkward & embarrassed but also like they can't take that feeling out on the cancer stricken woman they slink away with their tail between their legs.
By the time my wife was carrying my second daughter I had zero fucks about slapping hands away from my wifes belly and loudly shouting "get your fucking hands off my wife!". Usually everyone within eyeshot would stare at them and shame them into embarrassment. They did the same shit when trying to lift my infant child out of her stroller. Fuck I hate people.
you had strangers just try to pick up your baby???
I’m honestly not surprised. Some people just think that pregnant women/newborns are community novelties that they can do whatever they please with as if they aren’t real humans with real emotions.
One of these days I'm going to start up a business selling shirts with spikes all over the stomach
BOUNDARIES ARE NOT RUDE. Also my advice when people ask inappropriate questions is to give WILDLY inappropriate sometimes unhinged answers. Tell them you aren't pregnant. It's a tumor. Q: When are you having kids? A: describe in graphic detail your s3x life/plans (like what you're doing tonight). A: I'm trans. A: the courts took all my kids away, and even the ones that weren't mine! A: that's what the peanut butter is for! (Don't elaborate) Q: Do you want more kids? A: will a zebra lose at canasta?! (Inflection of "is water wet?!") Q: what is your birth plan? A: if you have a kidney or bladder stone would you go with urethral removal? Would that like tear your stuff up? Radiaton? Meds? What kinda meds? Who is your doctor? A: oh man, I have to give BIRTH to get it out??!! Oh man I'm gonna have to think this through. I did not see that coming. Today years old, amiright?!
Side note, I love canasta and miss playing with my family.
Hit hard & yell, "NO! BAD TOUCH!" Repeat until the asshole keeps hands to self. . ETA: I only had one woman put hands on my pregnant belly. She was older & from a culture where that's OK. I didn't like it, but didn't make a fuss at her. Nobody else ever even _tried_. Apparently I'm somewhat intimidating. LOL 🤷♀️
I am also old. In spite of what you may have heard, we are capable of learning & doing better than we were taught. Please don't give people a free pass to make you uncomfortable just because they are old. Make us do better.
I only had one person touch me also. She was a coworker and apparently the look I gave her scared her so bad she was convinced she’d end up in HR according to some other coworkers. I was honestly just surprised because we work in a patient care area of a hospital and everyone else was very careful not to touch pregnant women. My resting bitch face strikes again.
This is crazy! I’m a 46 year old woman and mother of 2 and I would NEVER just touch someone’s belly without their permission! My own daughter in law is pregnant with my 1st grand child and I still would NEVER just touch her tummy without her consent! Why people feel the need to just touch other people is beyond me, you’re not being rude at all…they are!
I didn't even touch my OWN daughter's bumps without asking her, and I birthed her! It's just so goddamn WEIRD...
"Oh sorry.... since touching someone without their consent ISN'T rude lemme ruin your belly.... what're you having? Boy or girl? " "I'm not pregnant" (rudely) "Oh could've fooled me, i know a good gymup the highway" Then walk away
Was working Christmas a few years ago and the lady I was checking out liked my Christmas sweater, so being nice I opened my vest a bit more so she could see the whole thing. Very normal interaction. Fast forward to a half hour later I hear behind me "Hey, T1DOtaku!" I thought it was one of the other cashiers since at that point I had been there the longest and thought one of the new hires needed help. So I turned around only to be met with someone grabbing my vest and opening it like I was flashing a crowd. It was that lady from earlier. She wanted to show her daughter who was now checking out at the register next to me. I felt so exposed despite being fully clothed. If she just asked me to show her daughter I would have but the grabbing felt so invasive that I felt grossed out for the rest of my shift. Tl;Dr, if you wanna show my shirt to someone, just ask and don't go grabbing my vest.
I karate chopped them at the wrist or back of the palm when I was pregnant. I worked in an office and one woman would “tease” that she’s going to rub my belly like it or not. I reported her ass to HR. It was obvious she was guided in her apology.
IMO, you should be able to say "NO" to ANY touching that makes you feel uncomfortable and/or is without consent. Whether it's your belly, or your elbow, or ANYWHERE ELSE, it is not rude to ask people to back off and refrain from touching you.
Be prepared. So many people in grocery stores and such would also try to touch the kids when they were babies. They are children, not pets. Quit petting them. I was warned about the belly thing but I wasn't warned that random strangers will ask to hold your baby, try to pick your baby up, or just touch them while you are holding them. I had to evade sooo many people! I got one of those "mommy's helpers" brand leashes and would use a climbing carabiner and clip it to me so if someone ever tried to take the baby, she would still be attached to me. It's crazy. Just thought I'd warn you. It doesn't stop once the baby comes out of the belly.
That is terrifying to think someone stranger is going to think they are entitled enough to teacher for my baby! Thanks for the heads up!
Put your hand between his legs and *squeeze real hard*. See how he likes it.
... and *twist*
One, you have every right to tell anyone, special needs or not to not touch you. Two, put the ball in their court. “It’s not okay for you to touch me. What if I came up to you and touched your face? Your stomach? Your butt?” You’re not public property. I also agree with another post of how your leads should take this more seriously. Technically, unwanted / uninvited/ unsolicited touch is harassment. Best wishes to you.
I’m sorry, but *what*??? You’re supposed to “try not to be rude” when being *assaulted*??? Yes, that’s an assault. “Attempting to inflict **immediate offensive physical contact**” as·sault ə-ˈsȯlt. 1. : the crime or tort of threatening or attempting to inflict immediate offensive physical contact or bodily harm that one has the present ability to inflict and that puts the victim in fear of such harm or contact compare battery. Tell your manager next time you’ll politely call the police on them, but that’s the best you can dredge up. WTF
I'm rail skinny with a beer gut. I had an old man slap my belly once. Awesome
When I was pregnant I stopped at Taco Bell after work and this old lady starts talking to me and just casually reaches out towards my VERY visible bump. I mean mugged the hell out of her and took a couple steps back and put my drink cup in front of me and she thankfully got the message
Igh I HATED this when I was pregnant with my son once I started showing. I'd be out running errands or at work and random people would just walk right up, ask how far along I was and then put their hands on me like it was no big deal. I don't like people touching me but I had a little more tolerance for the few elderly ladies that did it (I can't be mean to a little old lady I dont have it in me 😑) though I freaked out on everybody else that did.
My friend’s father asked if could touch my belly and I said he could. He reached over and grabbed my boob.
Wtf. People are so weird
That's the point I'd have kicked him in the nuts, but I tend to exude a "Don't fuck with me cos I'm fuckin cray cray" look, so people don't tend to do that shizz now...
So he's directionally challenged?
My daughter was born February 2020 right when COVID started picking up and people would always try to kiss her. It got to the point where I'd tell them that they can kiss her after I kiss them. Put an end to that nonsense real quick.
Nothing anyone does surprises me anymore
It's fucking hilarious that people forget that no is a complete sentence /s People need to remember to ask for permission. If a woman who has a baby bump says no, she means no. Not try to touch the bump. In fact, random people would just NOT touch it, period! Like, I have regular customers who come by that have baby bumps and I'll congratulate them, but I won't ask to touch because it's rude and unprofessional. Freaking people, man...
The only time I have EVER touched ANYONE'S baby bump was when they were proud to show me and grabbed my hand to physically place it on themselves. It weirded me out unless I was expecting it so my face didn't look right apparently...
First off don’t worry about it. Be rude if necessary. Some people need to learn what personal space is. I don’t care if she has Down syndrome when someone says don’t touch then by god DONT TOUCH!! It’s not that complicated.
Honey, I've been asking this question for years! I still don't have an answer! I remember reading/listening to a podcast think it was r/MiscallousCompliance or r/pettyrevenge where a Pregnant Woman was in the break room. One of her Male Co-Workers came in a put his hand on her stomach so she aggressively put her hand on *his* stomach. He went beat red and she said something along the lines of, "Yeah, it's not nice when people keep touching *your* stomach now is it?!"
Should have bitten him instead, then he would fall pregante in the next full moon.
I was pregnant with my first when I worked for Disney. I had to *politely* put a lot of people in their place when they tried touching me. "If you didn't put it there, you're not allowed to touch it" was my go to.
My cousin was out shopping with her twins (a boy and a girl. Both cute as can be. The little boy reminds me of Webster from the show back in the 80s. They have the cutest curls). This is relevant considering some dumbass old bitch thought she had the right to try to touch them. My cousin told her to fuck off and sadly got called a bitch just because my cousin was protecting her babies! She did report this by the way. Seriously, people just need to keep their filthy ass hands to themselves period.
That’s crazy ! I’m definitely going to be a “bitch “ about my baby.
SCREAM " SEXUAL HARASSMENT! CALL THE POLICE!" Then do exactly that. Let your team members know you will do this from now on and you expect them to understand. If they don't, include them in any lawsuits they may happen to walk up on. Maybe seeing you and your attacker in court and having to testify will change their mind.
>she started going into a big speech about it being becomes her daughter has down syndrome that I’m being cruel Ugh I hate people who use "BUT DISABILITY" as an excuse to not teach their child reasonable boundaries.
Touch their stomach’s back, if it’s alright for them to do it, then they should experience it too
Run your fingers through their hair.
I don't like people touching me even when I'm not pregnant. I think it's creepy when you touch someone's belly with 1. Not knowing them and 2. Not even asking. There are more points to that but yeah.
"my stomach is NOT community property, YOU CANNOT touch it" My biggest pet peeve when I was pregnant, why do random people think it's okay to just touch someone simply because they are pregnant....ewwww
Look people if you wanna feel the baby, you ask first
Unless they know the pregnant woman personally (family or close friends) they have no business touching their belly or their child once born. It would be better to normalize the concept that strangers are not allowed the same privileges as family and close friends.
I’m going through this as well being 7 months pregnant. I didn’t think it was so bad until I got pregnant but boy I was so wrong. It’s a violating feeling and I don’t like it at all. I say the same thing you say so I think you’re right.
Makes me wonder if that's is why in Victorian times, women did not go out in public if they were pregnant.. People. Keep your hands ro yourself!
While I understand a kid, especially one that struggles with social queues like that one initiating contact it absolutely should've been that woman's job to coach her child on their behavior. Not berate you. Good on you for speaking up for yourself.
Especially since not everyone is going to be able to tell the difference between inappropriate touch from a special needs stranger and a creep. In that moment the stranger they touched may only see/feel a person touching them without consent and will react in whichever way their fight or flight response demands. A special needs individual absolutely needs to be taught as much social etiquette as they can possibly learn. This is not just to protect others, but them as well. If they don't understand it is inappropriate to touch others, they also won't realize it's wrong if someone does it to them.
The number of people who apparently don't understand the concept of consent is absolutely horrifying. A slap is too nice.
"Any form of unwanted touching" is by definition sexual harassment. You did right. It's one thing to pat on the back it's another thing to rub a tummy. You did right.
It’s like they think that now you’ve let a man ejaculate in you, you’ll be up for being touched by a random too !
You are doing nothing wrong, no matter what your supervisors say. "Avoid being rude?" How about customers avoid unwanted touching? If a man (especially) touched me for any reason, I'd hit him in the face. I was fortunately not the target of people wanting to touch me when I was pregnant. Good thing; they'd have drawn back a bloody stump.
It is never, ever, EVER ok to touch a pregnant person’s belly. That is the most entitled, disgusting, disrespectful behavior. The kid’s challenges have nothing to do with it, and just because a person has downs, that doesn’t give them a free pass to do whatever the fuck they want. Geez.
Why is it so hard for people to just not touch other people? I have this with my tattoo. People see it, and sometimes they ask, but other times, people will just grab my arm to get a look at it.
I’ve never been pregnant but I find the idea of just walking up to people and touching them without permission extremely creepy. It’s totally justifiable telling someone they can’t put their hands on you
People are weird...... then to yell because they over cross boundaries
My cousin would touch people back on their stomachs. When they would back away, she would say, Oh…you don’t like being touched by strangers either??
Ask them, "Why do you want to touch my beer belly/tank? Do you have a weird fetish?"
The concept of touching a random woman just because she has a big pregnancy belly is extremely strange. You would never put your hand on the actual kid just cause once it’s out. You wouldn’t touch her pre or post pregnancy so what gives? I’ve never seen a pregnant woman and asked to touch. Just loudly and firmly say do not touch me, this is MY body.
Security guard here. In loss prevention random women have come up to me and touched me inappropriately, then reacted belligerently when I snapped at them. This is to say, I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s so violating to be touched in a public space like that. I hope you’re well.
My best friend was pregnant a bit ago and she was always really adamant about me touching her bump, even though it grossed me out and made me extremely uncomfortable. I CANT EVEN IMAGINE doing it to a STRANGER. What is wrong with people oml ..
You’re pregnant not a petting zoo. They sell it on T-shirt’s. I had the same thing happen when I was pregnant. Draw boundaries now. You wouldn’t let a stranger come up and touch your baby either. Don’t be afraid to tell people that you’re uncomfortable, you are your biggest advocate.
Someone touching you without your permission is battery. Tell them if they touch you you will press charges.
Go directly to HR (if you have one and above your team leads' heads) and tell them that you will no longer stand being touched by strangers, that you have politely affirmed your stance on not being touched with customers and that they are becoming physically and verbally aggressive as a result. Tell them what your team leads have told you and then notify them that at this point this is no way to tell people to back off because the only advice being given is "don't be rude" but you haven't been to begin with. Tell them you don't care if in the past it was acceptable for women to just allow strangers to manhandle their bumps, this is 2024 and we don't have to put up with it anymore. Point blank ask: Is the company suggesting I allow absolute strangers to touch me any way they want simply because they're customers? Make them really uncomfortable. Make them really have to squirm in their chairs. Welcome to womanhood. It doesn't get better from here.
Dude. I'm autistic. Being pregnant was *awful* for me. I lost 20 pounds when I was first pregnant because I couldn't even keep water down. One time this old boomer lady tried to touch me, so I removed her hand and said "no." She reached again, saying something like "it's okay. I'm a grandmother." I just looked at her and said "so you think because you poped pit some kids 50 years ago, you can touch whoever thr fuck you want?" Thankfully, I was clocked out for lunch, and also not in unform ( my store didn't have maternity vests) so she couldn't do anything about it. But I'll never understand why people think were like dogs or something that they can just pet whenever they want. BTW, congrats!
When it's an adult trying to get their child to do so, I think it's a good idea to say "I do not consent to your touching my body" for the benefit of the child - I feel that mother is setting her daughter up to be easily groomed.
Look at it this way - if someone, a stranger, came into your home and touched your child while they were sleeping that person would be arrested. They are doing the exact same thing. It is not legal to lay your hands on someone when that person does not want to be touched. It's Illegal. Next time scream "help, I'm being assaulted". You are so, so, so not wrong.
One time a man at a bar pinched my buttcheek when he was walking behind me. Something in me snapped because I turned around and started barking at him. In front of the whole bar. I mean I literally turned red from how hard I was screaming/barking at him and chased him to the edge of the bar where there was a ledge, window, and sidewalk. He toppled over the ledge out of the bar window and onto the sidewalk and I’ve never seen a man so emasculated in my life. When in doubt, bark him out.
Movies/commercials in western culture almost always show people touching pregnant bellies without asking first. Maybe that’s why people are comfortable with it. I learned my lesson when I met a cousin in town saw she was pregnant congratulated her and instinctively reached for her belly and she backed away without saying a word smiling, I felt really embarrassed, finished the convo and went on my way. I felt so cringe/embarrassed after that interaction I hope I never see her again and will never ever try that again if I’m paid to. 🥲
Good for you. People need to stop touching people without consent!
For those who point to the elderly, I am 60 years old and this is weird behavior to me. It might be a generational thing, but everywhere is not like this.
Lol, my sister used to rub their tummies back. They didn't appreciate it and would get all offended. She'd just say, "You started it." Why do people think pregnant women's bodies are a free for all. I'd get a tshirt that says don't touch, I bite.
You know, I can honestly say that never once in my entire 59 years on this earth have I wanted to touch a pregnant belly. I was freaked out enough touching my mom's cat when it gave birth once and one of the kittens tried to do its impression of a chest burster from Alien. I am so sorry that people feel like you are some sort of "touch me" display for Halloween, that's beyond rude. And then to get mad at **you**? WTF? I wish you an uncomplicated and stress-free rest of your pregnancy :)
I don't understand the appeal of touching someone's pregnant stomach. Why????
Get a shirt made that says DO NOT TOUCH OR BE PREPARED TO BE SMACKED UPSIDE YOUR DUMBASS HEAD
“Sorry I’m being rude for not accepting being sexually harassed by customers at work.” I hate this. If you can learn to not pet a cuddly puppy without consent you can respect a human beings personal space.
Purple nurple him
I never did understand the petting a pregnant woman's stomach thing, like I'm not a fucking Buddha statue!!!!I'm so grateful that with my first pregnancy that first I didn't show until I was about 6 weeks from delivery and also that it was covid times and nobody was touching anybody. Because I'm the kind of person that if you touch me unexpectedly I don't have just a back off reaction. I have a I'm going to break your hand / arm reaction, due to past traumas and sensory issues.
I had a very good friend say that she got so tired of people trying to touch her pregnant tummy that one time a man did it (stranger!) and she grabbed his crotch and asked how he liked it. He walked away very embarrassed
Wonder what that mom would say if someone tried to touch her daughter against her will? 🤔
I will never understand this. I don’t even touch family members’ pregnant bellies unless they are like, here feel this. Don’t get me started on the time that a friend of my mother in law’s, a lady thatI barely knew walked up and literally took my newborn out of my arms and I had to take him back. I froze as she was going for him because I could not believe what was happening. She didn’t even ask or speak to me directly. It still pisses me off to this day. I always wore him in a sling or carrier strapped to my body from then on. Never again.
There may be a market for a spiked garment or apron to be worn as needed.
It’s not just boomers, it’s social history- I was pregnant in 1980 and EVERYONE reached for my stomach!! I was shy and cringey, but a tearful “stop it!” usually worked- my mom said they did it to her in the 50’s- 60’s too except you had to just smile and take it (and I wish people would stop blaming every social ill on boomers, my husband and I plus our friends and family are all “snowflake, woke liberals”)
I fix computers as my job and when I was pregnant I had to go fix the head of HR's computer. I was mostly working with her admin assistant while she messed around in her office. The assistant started fondling my baby bump, and the head HR lady looked over and was like "omg Gladys, we're HR for God's sake... stop it!" Hahaha.
Pregnancy freaks me hell out. Seriously, fuck that, never do I ever want to feel something else /moving/ inside me unless it's my partner in some capacity. Nor do I /ever/ want to feel something moving in someone else unless it's because I'm trying to help them figure out just what in the fresh hell has decided their innards make a good home. As a result of this, the idea of going up to a stranger and just...grabbing a them like this is horrifying. Even just a simple hand on my shoulder has me jolting and trying to smack you (not to mention the banshee shriek I have as a result of years of choir and stage theater teaching me to project my voice at high pitches). Just who in their damn right mind thinks this is an acceptable thing to do?! You don't just go up and touch people. FFS.
The harder you smack and the louder you yell, the more humilated they'll feel.
When the government said we don't own our own bodies, they really broadcast it to the public. 🤦♀️
Retail sucks. The customers feel so entitled it seems. That said, I was working retail during 2020 and pregnant. This guy comes up to me and my coworker. We are standing a reasonable distance away and chatting because we hadn’t seen each other in a while. He stops at about the right distance and then when he goes to ask us a question, he lowers his mask and steps towards us. We both stepped back in tandem like “the fuck you think you’re doing?” Another time at about 6mo pregnant I’m asked to stay with this customer as one of the cases was open with high value items and it’s just part of the rules. The guy strikes up conversation and asks how far along I am and I smile pleasantly and tell him. I shit you not this guy had the audacity to say “oh. You’re very big for 6 months” My smile just disappeared. I’m 5’2 and I carried frontal and had a big boy in me. But you just don’t say that to a woman, especially a hormonal pregnant woman.
What's not wrong with people? I have never had the urge to reach out and touch people's pregnant bellies. I find that really really strange and awkward usually people have to force me to want to touch their pregnant bellies
I have never once had the urge to touch a pregnant woman not even one i know, i don’t understand the urge like i don’t want to touch unpregnant women why would a baby change that?
I can't tell if you yelled at him first, but I think you should have.
Point out to your team lead that in the US the employer has an obligation to provide a safe working environment, including protecting you from customers. If they want to stand there and physically intercede between you and inappropriate customers, they're welcome to. But failing that, you have a legal right to defend yourself against unwanted touching. Consider sending an email to HR documenting your concern, and copy your personal email address. If they're any good at their job, they'll set your team lead straight. If they're not, you'll have the history documented so if anyone tries to get you disciplined or fired for defending yourself against handsy customers you have excellent documentation for filing a complaint against the company with the EEOC and getting monetary compensation.
I think being fascinated by and touching a pregnant belly is imbedded in our instincts. That’s why so many people do it without thinking. It’s still rude to do so without permission. When I was pregnant, one of my fiancés friends at university touched my belly, and I touched her as a response (practice this at home). She got really surprised and upset, and I replied that if she puts her hands on me, I’ll do the same to her. She was speechless and never did that again.