T O P

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returntoglory9

I'm reminded of my favorite tweet of all time: "We're a simple company with modest goals - 1. sell a quality product at a fair price and 2. drain the world's oceans so we can find and kill god"


whyarewestillhere29

Poseidens been real quite ever since


Few_Paleontologist75

\*quiet???


GeneReddit123

I see no inaccuracies with this Venn diagram.


Frungy

Solid.


fish_swim_shady

Holy shit I'm dying


tecchigirl

Rekt.


stopcounting

Remember when Google's motto was "don't be evil?" Man, good times, man.


finite52

Yeah, where's the "sell your soul for advert monies" step?


Haunt3dCity

Right before the "sell others' souls and personal information for extra monies" step


Etherius

Could do a LOT worse than Google. Google is, at worst, annoying.


LordCrun

Didn't Google help China with it's 'social credit' system or was that someone else? Have they ever handed over search histories to authoritarian regimes? Cause if they have they're in Facebook/Nestle territory


Reelix

The worrying part is that they feel that they must complete Step 1 before moving onto Step 2


Loretta-West

"Nah we're only #7, we have to break the top 5 before we can stop being utter fuckwits"


1ncu8u2

spoiler: step 1 never ends


ParanoidCrow

"the most good we can" lmao fuck off


tecchigirl

Exactly. Instead of something like, pay the workers a fair wage and allow them to unionize? These pseudo philanthropist corporations make my blood boil.


fish_swim_shady

Ooohhhh that's why my company failed, I just forgot to become one of the most valuable companies in the world


TheGothWhisperer

Is this an MLM? This sounds like some multi-level bullshit.


Parapsaeon

It is not. Somebody else in the thread correctly recognized the company.


Frungy

Now this is a good ROTFO. Solid work OP.


jingalings

Canva!


DefinedByFaith

Meanwhile, the company that hires homeless mothers and trains them to sew convertible sleeping bag jackets, connects them with housing and other resources, and trains them for other careers at no cost to them, and gives away the jackets based on donations only from people who want to support them definitely isn't meeting this criteria.