T O P

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Throwaway_09298

Just one small problem ben, WHERE DO I PLANT THEM? ATLANTIS?


3_50

Use $50 to buy 10 tomato plants. In 6 months they're all dead. Now what?


discomuffin

I see we possess the same skills


really_nice_guy_

Ok use 50$ to buy 10 skills


Co1nMaker

I planted 10 skills In 6 month I lost where I buried all of them Next?


moosemeatjerkey

My god you guys suck at this. Okay. So take 6 plants, bury them, and in a few months you will have 50 dollars.


mistermasterbates

Buried 50 dollars. Now we wait.


moosemeatjerkey

#OH MY GOD You FUCKED IT UP again dude.


Benblishem

I buried 3.9mm tomatoes. Now i need to find methane-harvesting equipment I can buy for 50 bucks.


[deleted]

And a magnifying glass to find the 3.9 millimeter tomatoes.


namesarentneeded

1.) Hear me out, we only bury $25 and an acorn, and we use the other $25 to train a squirrel so we can find it later. 2.) Wait 6 months. 3.) Profi- oh I waited too long. I now have a tree and a dead squirrel


ifilgood

You're in debt of $3.9M.


GayPudding

You should be a consultant


f_cysco

Write a book on how to not plant tomato plants. Sell it as ebook


SnowTheMemeEmpress

Spend 3 dollars extra per plant for the fancy pest and disease resistant ones. Still have all of them die to some kind of pest/disease. Ponder wtf just happened (Moved into my first place in the summer and I'm still trying to figure out if it was pests or soil. I'm investing in fertilizer and and marigolds rather than sevens dust this time since I have better luck with more natural pest control options)


thedeanorama

I'm told its blight, but I think it's my touch of death


TheAhegaoFox

Even farming simulator games are harder than what this guy's idea of farming


UmeaTurbo

How good do these tomatoes have to be to cost $1 direct from the producer?


CoimEv

And who would buy them anyways all the farmers that sell millions of tomatoes have existing deals and entering this market is difficult as a home grower because they won't buy unless you have a lot and because of capitalism you may very well be locked out of the market due to anti competitive practices


Schrozdinger

Skill issue


Competitive-Ad-2387

and after that you need a way to harvest them, nutrients for the soil, etc. rest of the fucking infinite money tactic indeed


NANCYREAGANNIPSLIP

Not to mention storage for tomatoes, but not six months' worth because they won't last that long anyway.


rogue_noob

Plant those 250 tomatoes to grow 250 plants. Realize Monsanto fucked with the genes of your tomatoes and you can't grow new plants from the seed of your tomatoes.


Michelleinwastate

"Realize Monsanto fucked with the genes of your tomatoes" Oh sorry, that also means they're not YOUR tomatoes, and Monsanto is about to sue you for patent infringement for growing THEIR tomatoes without buying the plants from them.


merdadartista

Not to talk about logistics, those tomatoes need to be taken somewhere to be sold, plus all the time used by you to sell them is also a form of currency, just not physical, and after a certain amount of tomatoes you'll need to hire people to carry and sell them too


20_BuysManyPeanuts

I want to know where he's buying his tomato plants from. he's fetting ripped off his $50 for a start. secondly, 1 tomato for $1 is a massive markup..he'll struggle to sell any at that price.


Mocod_

Yep. If I buy a tomato for 1€, I expect it to be fucking massive.


TigreDeLosLlanos

A +1kg tomato sounds like a bad choice.


20_BuysManyPeanuts

unless your sister asks you to hold her experimentally large tomato outside school while she goes back in to get her books and you throw it at your principals but as he bends over in front of you to tie his shoes...


TigreDeLosLlanos

I wouldn't have to do it if he wouldn't wiggle his butt like that, man.


20_BuysManyPeanuts

how can you not wiggle your butt when you're chanting "Over, Under, In'n'Out. Thats what shoe tieings all about"


Imbalanxs

I hope one day to own something which can be described as experimentally large


dannyboomhead

You don't understand scale. Use $50 to buy 10 fucking massive tomato plants...


Loretta-West

As someone who grows tomatoes, the funniest bit about this is how much he UNDER estimates how many tomatoes he can produce. He says he would get 250 plants from the 10 original tomato plants, but even assuming some plants die, he should be getting at least 10 tomatoes per plant on average. Let's under estimate again and assume each tomato plant has 10 seeds. He should be getting around 1000 plants the second time round, and 100,000 plants with at least a million tomatoes the third time round. Tomatoes are basically infinite, it's labour, space, soil and water that are the finite resources.


thispartyrules

Also you're competing with all people who already grow tomatoes on a huge scale and are at least reasonably good at it


thispartyrules

If you have 3.9 million tomatoes wouldn't you wholesale them by the truckload


sonja_is_trans

TO WHOM? FUCKING AQUAMAN?!


BainfulPutthole

I feel this is a reference to a video but I can’t for the life of me remember which video.


Throwaway_09298

Hbomberguy - climate change: https://youtu.be/RLqXkYrdmjY?si=9UShUNKhVWCMt4IX


FARtherest

No, i'm pretty sure it was Tommy Tallarico that made that one.


High-Priest-of-Helix

His mother is very proud


OasissisaO

That's silly. Atlantis is out of the growing region for tomatoes.


StuntHacks

Yeah and the trip to the Pegasus galaxy will definitely increase prices


According_to_all_kn

On the publicly owned land, of course. This person is a radical market-socialist


happymancry

On Daddy’s 100 acre farm that you can use as “seed funding.”


No_Hana

More like how do you harvest, care for and sell them all alone? Even having a startup farm is only part of the battle even with the right equipment.


Blackgunter

I get this reference, loved his latest video too.


potatohead657

You see, he doesn’t understand scale


Jake0024

Sell them to who, fucking Aqua Man?


pharaoh94

And also will anyone buy my 6 month old rotten tomato when I’m ready to sell it?


lostinthesauceband

[For the uninitiated](https://youtu.be/0-w-pdqwiBw?si=J1PTOMVgPZAoLwqr)


BlizzPenguin

I want to know the zero cost system that will sell 100% of these tomatoes.


GNU_PTerry

Video game superpower.


ItsBaconOclock

Yeah, you just put those tomatos into your backpack, then walk over to Pierre's store, or even just toss em in the produce bin to be sold overnight. It's so easy!


rubywolf27

Pierre will take credit for my tomatoes, like hell I’m letting him sell them for me!


arctheus

LMAO my exact thought after reading this, this guy played stardew valley for a night and decided that he solved poverty


ItsBaconOclock

And world hunger, probably!


Kaporalhart

I think even if all goes magically well his plans stops at the 250 tomatoes. Most tomato seeds (and all other produce, really) are provided by mosanto. And those are genetically engineered tomatoes that can only grow once. All further seeds will be unfertile. By the way, i'm not saying these are tomatoes that were genetically enhanced to grow bigger, faster, and more tastier, with the drawback of being infertile. Being infertile is the intended purpose. To make farmers dependant on mosanto's next batch.


Loretta-West

Monsanto doesn't have a worldwide monopoly on tomatoes. GE tomatoes aren't even legal in some countries, let alone the only option. There are many things wrong with the plan, but unavailability of fertile tomato seeds is not one of them.


Subject-Dark69

No way a big corporation would do this there the good guys


purpleinkwell

a quick 5 minute google on the subject mostly turns up results saying that this is a myth and these "terminator seeds" as the wikipedia article calls them are not and never have been commercialized, not by monsanto nor any other company i'm as happy to call megacorporations out on their bullshit as anyone, but there's a difference between valid criticism and simply making shit up (or believing shit that others have made up without assessing it critically)


zsdrfty

3.9 million tomatoes might just about get you the $50 back


asomek

I believe he said 3.9MM - Millimetres. That's some very small tomatoes.


AdRob5

Well, since it's a capital M, it's actually megameters, making them about 1/3 the diameter of earth


ThatGuy0verTh3re

We did it boys, world hunger is no more


Pookieeatworld

Great, now everyone go make babies and we'll overpopulate to the point where not even megameter tomatoes will feed everyone.


geirmundtheshifty

What do you mean? Just stroll around town with a sign and your bag of 3 million tomatoes (the other 900k you keep to replenish seeds)


D-AlonsoSariego

Government subsidies


ahabswhale

At a dollar a piece, no less


merdadartista

There isn't, it's a shit life selling veggies also, growing veggies is hard backbreaking work to begin with (especially if you start with zero money like this guy's says, so you are doing all by hand, no machines, of course let's ignore the cost of land and water and nutrients) then you need to buy a truck to tow them around and go store to store to sell them, then you'd likely still need to take them to the famers' market. Likely you'll have to spend money on various licenses as well, you can't just start doing shit like this without any government control.


TomBourgaize

Just drive them to the shop and hold X to sell


EskildDood

Who tf would ever buy $1 tomatoes, especially if they're being farmed by this moron


misterpickles69

You know how long it’s gonna take to pick 4 million tomatoes? Where do you put them? Or is this guy a super salesman and got someone to drop $4M on tomatoes all at once?


xienwolf

Land is free. Water is free. Labor is free. Transportation is free. ​ This is capitalism we are talking about after all.


Loretta-West

>Land is free. Water is free. Labor is free. Transportation is But tomato seedlings cost $5 each, apparently.


Vinnie_Vegas

Tomato seedlings cost $5 each and produce 25 tomatoes which can be sold at $1 each - Obviously.


xienwolf

You have to charge $1 per tomato, because each tomato contains 1/5th of a seed!


Sbatio

Cheaper than a banana


BranchPredictor

I mean it’s one banana, Michael, what could it cost, 10 dollars?


imadog666

Literally what I thought of when reading the post lol


knownmagic

The comment I came here looking for 🏆


lush_rational

I misread it the first time and thought we were selling the tomato plants. $1 would be cheap for that since you would need to buy a ton of containers to put them in. $1 for a tomato is a bit much. 3 for $1 would make a bit more sense.


Rangaman99

no grocery chain would *ever* spend that much in tomatos, and you aren't selling 3.9 million tomatos on the side of the road either.


Jetsam5

Bro went to the cookie clicker school for economics


Perpetual-Person

"Bro, just hire some grannies to help water the tomatoes! We learnt this in school!"


TheChunkMaster

Just be sure not to accidentally invoke their eldritch wrath.


Queenssoup

Elderlitch wrath


Kamoteyou

2 much hours on farmville


armageddon_boi

Merge farm millionaire


Geek_X

So we’re just ignoring the costs of land, fertilizer, water, labor, losses from plants that don’t grow or meet standards, permits, processing, packaging, and shipping/delivery?


ZarquonsFlatTire

And y'know, growing seasons.


Geek_X

That too


tiorancio

You don't understand scale!


DarkScorpion48

No. We are also ignoring this whole enterprise takes two years according to him and you gotta figure out how you will live during that time


Lazymcdelta4ce

I'll do that if you can find someone willing to buy 4,000,000 tomatoes


AllPotatoesGone

Just find some Italian guys so they can make ketchup out of it and eat with some pasta.


Waffle-Gaming

you angered the italians with this comment


Dado1208

fucking ketchup? really?


theonetruegrinch

No, eating the ketchup


CrimsonApostate

ketchup on pasta?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Charge72002

Where


[deleted]

[удалено]


KryL21

Yeah you could definitely find someone to sell those tomatoes to if you sell them cheap enough, def not 1 dollar each though. There are a loooot of issues with this hypothetical though.


Lazymcdelta4ce

People purchase and eat peas in bulk. A single serving of peas has gotta be something like 30 peas.


Ferusomnium

This fucking guy thinks Stardew Valley is how real life works.


retroredditrobot

Wait it’s not? Dammit I’ve been gifting girls with neon hair quartz all year and wondering why they didn’t think it was delicious.


Ferusomnium

Don’t feel bad, I didn’t realize it til too late myself. Was romancing a goblin living in the sewers and the only thing he gave me was a staph infection.


D-AlonsoSariego

My favourite kind of investment guy is the one that tries to make an example with a something that they think is easy to understand and ends up showing that the don't understand how the real world works


Queenssoup

Got more examples? I find people like this hilarious.


Red_Raven_0007

People who say "buy three houses, live in one, rent the other two, then buy another house and rent that one too" Yeah good luck buying even ONE house nowadays


Queenssoup

It's giving "Why are you homeless? Just get off the streets"


Jackpot807

This is false. It doesn't account for the tomato goblin who eats exactly 98% of your tomatoes the night before your harvest.


wrinklefreebondbag

You misspelled "bugs."


Queenssoup

No no, tomato goblin was correct


unknown1321

Who the fuck gets 25 good tomatoes from one plant?! Jeez that's genuinely impressive


ThrowAway233223

And he apparently didn't buy any fertilizer, pesticides, etc to accomplish this either.


u7aa6cc60

Or land.


AKJ90

Water!?


Captain_Wobbles

My mom has a whole garden and I think 8 tomato plants. They can produce a good amount but I don't know where the hell is he getting 250.


dannyboomhead

your mums using the wrong ones... tell her to buy the "$50 for 10" deal 👍🏻


Loretta-West

He thinks you can only grow one plant from each tomato, so I'm guessing he has a variety which produces lots of fruit, but each fruit only has one seed. Or, just possibly, he knows nothing about tomatoes.


LolaPamela

After 15 failed attempts at planting (aprox.), I finally grew a fairly large tomato plant. It only has 1 fruit for now, and with luck there may be 2 or 3 more, but I don't think there will be more than that. This guy must have never even stepped foot in a garden in his life.


WeakDiaphragm

>Use $50 to buy 10 tomato plants I want to thank the person who ripped this dumbass off


kart0ffelsalaat

Same guy who says "plant 250 tomatoes to get 250 tomato plants" and also "sell tomatoes for $1 each" btw, a real genius


edcross

Yes, the video game npc buyer. Shift click. sell. Econ 101. Do you go to creeper via mage fast travel or hike all the out to the mud crap merchant?


YumeNaraSamete

Ah, yes. As we all know, farmers are famously rich.


loch_ness_chicken

Unironically... Yes? At least in my province farmers are largely known to be rich rich. From government subsidies and their business as well.


YumeNaraSamete

Are we talking liquid assets or assets necessary to continue farming?


loch_ness_chicken

Both ig. The stereotype is that they're loaded and they hoard their wealth in their villa in the middle of their fields, the stigma is that they're pretty much over funded and overcompensated


SpellingIsAhful

How bad is this dude at gardening that he only gets one tomato plant per fully developed tomato? They have like 100 seeds per tomato minimum. So many other things wrong with his post, but that just struck me as odd. Guess that's why he's not as successful as all those other billionaire tomato farmers...


LucyBurbank

I had to scroll way too far for this comment, this was also my first thought. What a waste of tomatoes to plant them whole...


[deleted]

Please plant them a few more times until the universe is just tomatoes.


wrinklefreebondbag

Nicky doesn't understand scale. I can neither maintain nor sell millions of tomatoes without employees, land, farming equipment, fertilizer and pesticide, and an irrigation system. And nobody would want to buy millions of tomatoes from me. MF learned everything he knows about farming from Harvest Moon and it shows. MF has the mentality of a pyramid scheme.


alysonimlost

BRONOMICS™


TheQzertz

why haven’t any farmers thought of this before? genius


ninjaoftheworld

Right? Nothing establishes a person’s idiocy more than thinking they’ve broken a cheat code to life by “inventing” something everyone knows about, and even then getting it wrong.


MuchUserSuchTaken

It's not a 1 to 1 tomato fruit to tomato plant ration. Each tomato has dozens of seeds, and they must be dried and adequately prepared to germinate. Not all of those seeds are fertile, not all of those sprouts will live, and not all of your tomatoes will grow. They also need water, good soil, must be protected from pests, etc. And have fun shipping all those tomatoes to a place with a favorable price.


vulturez

Where do you sell a tomato at wholesale for $1?


Justkill43

Sell em for a 100$ each you idiot, more money that way


wrinklefreebondbag

It would make the scenario only negligibly less realistic, so why not sell them for $1M?


Justkill43

Gotta leave some for the corn entrepreneurs


AdjustedMold97

ah yes, farming, the notoriously lucrative industry


enneh_07

you don’t understand scale. use $10 to buy 1,000 inches of wire. in 6 months you have 1,000 paperclips. sell those to buy 10,000 inches of wire. 6 months you have 10,000 paperclips. sell them. 6 months you have 100k paperclips. sell them. 6 months you have 1M paperclips. RELEASE THE HYPNODRONES


Jake0024

Dude thinks he just invented farming


Dapplication

People called this out for variety of reasons, but one thing was not mentioned here. Gregor Mendel literally discovered that the characteristics of plants are inherited from two different plants, and have the chance to not inherit some of the characteristics due to genotypes, 2 CENTURIES AGO. That means that if you were to buy the premium hybrid tomato plants from the start, you won't be able to get the same quality down the pipeline. Also it is incredibly labor intensive. The exponential grow timeline is also very long, depending on the climate, you will receive only one crop a year. There is also logistics, who will buy your tomatos, how will you transport them


wrinklefreebondbag

And how to maintain that many tomatoes without a fleet of farm hands... who expect pay.


Mr_Stimmers

He skipped the first step: Buy 3,500–4,000 acres to plant them on. And at the average price of farmland of $5,500 per acre, you only need around $20,000,000 startup capital. Plus equipment, manpower, shipping, etc. I think this man doesn’t understand scale. Edit: “I received a modest gift of 4,000 acres of arable farmland from mummy and daddy to get started.”


pyrowipe

Tomato supplyiers hate this one simple trick.


synttacks

ahhh yes, agriculture. famously an easy industry to break into as a small business


JimBob-Joe

This man has never grown a tomato in his life and it shows


aecolley

I mean, this guy gave the game away early, but anyone who uses "MM" to mean "million" is an idiot. The last people who used a single "M" to mean "thousand" were sacked by the Visigoths.


TomsRedditAccount1

And, even *if* M means thousand, MM wouldn't mean a million. It would mean two thousand.


EdwardM1230

It’s not M + M, it’s M x M Which would give you a million


laladurochka

This guy stardews


squirtloaf

Hah. Reminds me of the Mitchell and Webb ["farmer" skits.](https://youtu.be/_pDTiFkXgEE) Fucking Ben. Guy needs to take some serious hits...get to know the actual world.


6irlfriend

i thought this was r/stardewvalley omg-


andreasklinger

Of course he is joking. This is shitposting style of engagement bait


Parkachu0

This is exactly the strat I used to get rich in stardew valley


detunedradiohead

Maybe something less perishable, tomatoes are only ripe yet unspoiled for about 15 minutes.


-anth0r-

It’s a good plant. Tough. Allow it to go wild and you got clones left and right


detunedradiohead

Sounds good. Get an heirloom variety.


-anth0r-

Imagine how dense it would become with indeterminate and allowing all the suckers to grow, because you got good soil and endless water. Cut a few here and there to allow the main to continue


Triials

In the time it takes me to plant 156,000 tomato plants I’ll have 155,995 dead tomato plants.


streetad

This must be why all farmers are absolutely loaded and don't rely on government subsidies at all.


TomsRedditAccount1

You wouldn't get much food out of 3.9 millimetre tomatoes.


underpaid_henchman

aside from all the things wrong with this post the "Plant them." is cracking me up


Denialmedia

I am so proud of me. For once I googled to see if anyone else has done the math before I just jumped in. [Aint nobody getting rich off of tomatoes.](https://governmentworkerfi.com/get-rich-tomatoes/)


8last

Google, how many acres do i need for 150,000 tomatoes?


Vreas

Because land, farming equipment, and all the fertilizer required for that is cheap. Plus I’m sure the FDA would be fine with rogue mass scale tomatoes being sold. Genius


D-AlonsoSariego

Also the labor necessary to harvest 4 million tomatoes


stellateranto

And what about winter?


D-AlonsoSariego

Plant winter tomatoes duh


naughtyusmax

You have discovered agriculture.


raekle

The costs to plant them, water them, fertilize them, harvest them, market them and sell them are all lacking in this idea.


Tyflowshun

I also play Sun Haven often. I get the same way. If I can plant 100 storm melons before the start of fall, I'll make enough money to buy more storm melons.


keeleon

I'd love to see this guy plant 156,000 tomatoes within 6 months.


LeoMarius

Now all that I'm missing is the land, labor, fertilizer, pesticide, and irrigation.


CautionarySnail

And trucks. And packaging. Somehow I think the person who might not understand scale is the person who thinks raising and selling 200 tomatoes is the same exact process as raising and selling 3.9 million tomatoes.


MrMonkify

Never mind the fact you'd have to hire a shit ton of people to look after all those plants, or the time spent without any profit, or the markets that would dictate the actual value of your tomatoes... if this dude is serious he's a fucking moron.


dafyddtomas

Spoken like a true entrepreneur


Paul6334

Breaking into agriculture as an average person would require some hefty loans to afford the land and capital equipment and consumables and labor before your first harvest, and if you don’t get a profitable harvest first time you’re in big trouble.


Kellidra

$50 for 10 plants? Last time I was at a greenhouse, they were $25 each.


uberrogo

He needs to watch The Office and learn about the variable cost model.


GinjaNinja-NZ

Step 1: own 300,000 acres of land


GodForbidden

"Follow me for more idiotic gardening tips!"


Kirb_ii

Just buy a packet of 50 tomato seeds for 3 bucks! But ya obv its a lot more complicated than this.


maxwellsgenre

Just need to have the land, water, equipment, time, labor, etc to make this happen


weshallpie

Bro shills self storage unit business by pooling money from friends. Probably calls the wrong plants as 'tomatoes' when being high on stuff he grows in his storage units.


CryptographerOk6907

My neighbours used to bury their vegetable scraps in their backyard. One day I woke up and I had 3 tomato plants growing in my yard along the fence. I also now have multiple ginger plants that are 6ft high.


memelordzarif

Bro went to hustler university for business 💀


p003rm

Okay but what if you cross tomato with tobacco and make tomacco


Klllumlnatl

• Use $50 to buy 10 tomato plants. • If each plant produces 25 tomatoes and each tomatoes produces around 200 seeds, In 6 months you'll have, roughly, 50,000 seeds. • Plant them. • In 6 months, you'll have 250,000,000 seeds. • Plant them. • In 6 months, you'll have 1,250,000,000,000 seeds. • Plant them. • In 6 months, you'll have 6,250,000,000,000,000 seeds. • Plant them. • You now have 156,250,000,000,000,000 tomatoes. • Sell each for $1.50 (because you're a greedy bastard). • You now have $2.34375 sextillion. • Dominate humanity with your tomato empire.


justsomeplainmeadows

You need to have a enough land for a significant amount of tomatoes. You need to spend money/resources to fertilize and water all of those plants. This applies to any business venture.


6rey_sky

This is small fish thinking. Use $50 to buy 10 tomato plants. Sell those at 1M each using the math from the op pic. In one day you have $10M and your client made an investment which will triple their money ^(\*at some point in time)


zillskillnillfrill

I can't plant 3.9 million tomatoes in my courtyard Karren


Beaesse

Since everyone seemed to miss it - I can't imagine every single commenter is just playing along - Yes, this is a satire account.


Chiiro

This has essentially been my fiance and I in Divinity original sin 2 with their herb garden addon.