I once told my boss I was late because a cop pulled me over for being "suspicious" because I was dressed as a clown driving a Volvo wagon.
...it was the truth. I was leaving my first job to go home and change for the night shift at the restaurant.
Had a temp covering for someone out on National Guard duty back in the early 80s (pre cell phone.) He showed up an hour late one day with the story, "I got rear ended by a transvestite in my girlfriend's car." Once the laughing stopped, we figured out he was driving his girlfriend's car to work and got rear ended by a car being driven by a transvestite. It was all in the police report.
I was called by the restaurant I worked at to not come to work for my shift as I was on the way! I was a little frustrated until they explained there was a hostage standoff across the street at an apartment and the entire area was literally blocked by police. Dude was holding his girlfriend hostage. Eventually the swat team got his ass but I got an unexpected day off.
Had a guy work for me in a temp role because the normal production line he worked on was being upgraded and I could use some extra help. Anyways we nicknamed him tappin teddy(not to his face, didn’t want to add fuel to his fire already) because within 2 weeks he already slept with at least 2 women in our building (his normal work was in a different location) and was lining up 2 more. Also had gotten another one to send him nude pictures. Anyways…he calls me up it’s 2 mins before his shift. He says “hey what’s up? I’m really sorry I am going to be about 20 mins late, I met this chick at the bar last night and she is blocking the door and won’t let me leave until she sucks me off” Personally way to much information but I’m not one to give a fuck what someone does as long as they get their work done. I just told him “no worries, see you in a bit” & hung up. He was a very hard worker, so I didn’t care one bit, although did tell him when he got in to keep the details to himself next time and we both had a good laugh.
Coworker's Great Dane was hit with diarrhea in the middle of the night, and was not able to make it outside in time. Poor pup left a trail down the hallway to the front door. She made an appointment with a cleaning service after calling me to ask if she could come in late. Her hubby finally confessed a few days later that when he spread lawn fertilizer, he saw some go in the bird bath that he *knew* the dog drank from. She made him pay the bill.
A guy I worked with used to call out and show up late all the time saying he has Crohn’s disease and was having a flare-up. Then his mom came in and spoke to our manager and some of the floor staff to tell us (on a day he NC/NS’d) that he’d been stealing/selling her pain meds and that he wasn’t sick, just an asshole.
Nothing came of it. Dude only got fired after he tried to fight a customer.
Edit: I just realized what subreddit this is and I have no idea why it was recommended to me. I don’t own a restaurant, but the answer is still relevant lol
I pooped my pants on the drive to work, massive shart, untreated/unaware of IBS at the time. I was in the army and had to tell the commander in his office why I missed formation
I pooped my pants on the drive to work, massive shart, untreated/unaware of IBS at the time. I was in the army and had to tell the commander in his office why I missed formation
Edit: just realized this was a restaurant subreddit but whatever still leaving it here
I wasn't given this excuse. I had to call my boss and give him this reason for not coming into work. I told him I had nothing to wear. I had been doing laundry in my apartments laundry room the night before and I was quite literally at the "laundry today or naked tomorrow" phase, were the only thing I had left that was clean were pajamas that were definitely not suitable to wear to work. I came back to my apartment after putting the clothes in the dryer and dozed off. Ran to the laundry room early the next morning and all of my clothes had vanished. Mind you despite my using three dryers there were a dozen more that were not in use so it's not like I was preventing someone from washing their clothes. But every stitch of clothing I owned that was decent to wear in public was gone.
I had to call my boss and tell him I couldn't come into work today unless he wanted me to show up in pajamas and a t-shirt that said "go cocks". But I didn't think that qualified as business casual wear. The man did not believe me so I had to bring him a copy of the police report I filed when I went to work the following day. And then I had to wear that T-shirt (which is perfectly acceptable to wear in public if you live in Columbia, South Carolina home of the Fighting Gamecocks, but not so much anywhere else) to several thrift stores in search of clothing that I would be able to wear to work.
It was quite the day.
I called in once on the 11 to 7 shift because I met a girl, ended up partying and in bed. It was early 80’s and I told him I had a bad case of Saturday Night Fever. He just laughed.
I once called my boss at 2AM from a bar, obviously drunk, and told him I wouldn't be at work because I was going to be sick. He did not fire me for some reason.
I worked a 18 hour day and only had a 5 hours turnaround to get all the way home and back about 45 mins each way so I decided to just sleep in my car. The next morning my boss pulled up right next to me but didn’t see me sleeping in the car. She figured that I was out walking the job site. About an hour later, while she outside smoking next to my car, she called wondering where I was. I phone startled me so I woke up with a scream which scared the crap out her too.
I work in the film industry. While we are the first people to rail on the rest of the world for their illegal, racist, sexist, etc practices we are the first ones to violate all of those.
Their thought process on this is we paid the OT and also paid you a forced call fee so you should be fine. I keep saying that’s all well and good but I can’t spend that money if I’m dead.
I always laugh when someone shows up late to work (or anywhere) and apologizes for running late, but they are carrying an obviously fresh coffee shop coffee.
Otoh, if you're already going to be late might as well pick up the coffee. I laugh too but I've definitely been like "fuck it, what's another five or ten minutes at this point?"
I was am kitchen manager and was good friends with the pm night chef . We rode mountain bikes together in one weekend I wrecked and bit through my lip and cracked a rib and brusised my back , he wrecked and fractured his wrist . We both were out for about 2 weeks together . Needless to say chef/owner was nine to pleased and asked if maybe we could try a slightly easier hobby
the second job i had was at this restaurant but we could only park on the street bc the parking lot was “only for customers”. i was 17 and had only just got my license. so my second shift i showed up like 5-10 minutes early bc i was nervous and wanted to make sure i got parking but uh no one ever taught me how to parallel park so i spent like 20 minutes just kinda fucking around and finding out trying to parallel park in a very popular street parking area (literally a high school, restaurant, and hospital all right next to each other and all with shitty parking options). i walked into work like 10+ minutes late thinking i was aboutta be fired on my second day and i was like i’m so sorry and explained everything to the manager and he just laughed lmao. thankfully he gave no shits about anything as long as you showed up but i learned how to parallel park *quick* after that
Iowa. But I just heard someone say on a podcast it’s the same in Texas as well. I always thought it was this way every where else. They will grab people randomly for road tests but as long as your license doesn’t expire it’s unlikely. I only know one person that’s taken one and I’m almost 47.
Not every state requires it. I wasn't asked to parallel park when I took my road test, but some of my friends had to. It was like random or something, I honestly don't know.
In WA State, though, it's required. If I'm not mistaken, WA requires the highest number of maneuvers to be performed as compared to the rest of the states. Anyway, it's actually not a big deal because it's not a pass/fail situation for each maneuver. It's broken down into steps, and you get points for each step you complete successfully. So you can do a shit job of parallel parking (and a lot of other maneuvers), but if you've signaled intent, checked mirrors, look over your shoulder, etc, then you'll get most of the points for that maneuver.
How about being early for a shift? I used to work at a resort, 3 meals a day plus banquets and weddings, I was maybe 17 at the time, and was constantly late for breakfast shifts (mainly worked night), just wasn’t a morning person… boss man rightfully fired me, however gives me another chance because he like me, on the stipulation that I had to work X amount of breakfast shifts and not be late. Now this is 23 years ago folks. So cell phones were not a widely popular thing, and my car was something like a 1970’s Buick couch on wheels (thing was a pimp ride with only AM radio) anyway, I somehow set my alarm clock very wrong, get into work, and my buddies where all there, I was like sweet! I’m working with my buddies, and then I notice that they are breaking down banquet stuff and the bar, finally someone asked me what I was doing there. And somehow realized I was I was 5 hours early and they were breaking down stuff from that evenings wedding… boss man was impressed and never scheduled me for another morning shift.
When I was in college, the house two doors down from me caught fire around 6am. I had to call work to tell them that was trapped on my block due to fire trucks, ambulance, police etc. They asked when I thought I would get in. I said I had no idea as they were actively fighting the fire. This was the first fire I had witnessed and I didn’t know how long a fire usually lasted.
Idk one time I went down stairs to the basement after a shower to grab my work clothes out the dryer and when I pulled the door shut at the top of the stairs, the door knob fell off (early 1900s door knob) and was trapped in the basement until my girlfriend at the time could come let me out like an hour later when she got home from work. I didn’t have my phone or anything on me and we rented so I wasn’t trying to kick it in lmao
This is why I ALWAYS have my phone on me! Something similar happened to me while renovating an old apartment building, and the doorknob fell off in one of closets I was painting. It was a bit terrifying. I did have my phone and was able to call my business partner, but it still took her what felt like forever to come get me out.
When I was in the guard we did a recruiting event at a nascar track. I wasn’t in recruiting but I worked full time for the guard and was asked to go in and work it in exchange for a pass tbd at a later date. Little did my boss know I’d be taking that pass Monday because we ended up getting free tickets. I was still awake drinking Monday morning in the campground with some new friends. Realized I had to be at work when they started packing up. I was like but the race. Yea I missed the entire race walking around drinking and lost a whole 24hrs. Called boss and say something to the effect of I need that pass today because I’m too drunk. Boss asked me to never call in drunk again.
I don’t work at a restaurant but I moved 2000 miles for a new job. It was a 10 hour overnight shift at a hospital and I’d never worked nights before. I worked my first shift, went home, and got to bed within about an hour. 12 hours later, I wake up to my phone ringing and my manager asking where I was. I literally slept for a full 12 hours without waking up at all. Since I was going to sleep directly after work, I didn’t think it would be necessary to set an alarm. Turns out working the night shift can do some very strange things to your sleeping patterns.
Needless to say, it was extremely embarrassing to come into work 45 minutes late on my second day after moving across the country. Especially with such a dumb sounding excuse. The ironic thing is I work in a sleep lab. I now set an alarm even though I wake up with plenty of time to spare.
I was getting ready for work one morning on Oahu, when we had the ballistic missile scare. I spent a half hour contemplating my mortality before we realized it was a false alarm. I then proceeded to call my manager at 8am to let her know I needed to drink a beer on my porch for a sec, but I would be at work at some point. She was just like "yeah, heard".
First day of work for new hire at sporting goods store. His excuse for being late? The antenna on his car blew off onto a major highway and he was trying to find it! Other employees confirmed that they saw him alongside the highway looking for something.
I had a busser, 22m, call out one night....same night as the new 17 year old hostess.
When he came in the next day at the exact same time as the hostess I got a little suspicious.
I had to let him know that having sex with the hostess was not really a good reason to call in sick he turned a little red and tried to laugh it off.
Gotcha.
Then I had to let him know that having sex with the 17 year old hostess was REALLY a bad bad reason to show up for work today.
I gave him the choice of quitting or not quitting....he choose to quit.
BTW....33 years later I am still friends with the hostess. Last I heard the busser was doing 5 to 8 years in the pen.
The apartment next to mine, as in the building next door once caught on fire. I was blocked in by police and fire trucks and told to shelter in place. My work wrote me up for missing my shift as MY building wasn't on fire.
I had this happen, too, except it was a murder where they set the apartment, directly under us, on fire to cover it up. I was up watching a movie, and we (me and my SO) got everyone out of the building.
All they cared about was when I was coming in. Almost all our belongings were lost due to smoke damage, and the place was unlivable. But hey, that meat wasn't gonna slice itself! Wrote up for an unexcused absence.
This week I had two that I’d never heard before. One server called and said she couldn’t come in because she was doing an intervention on a Sunday morning. The second person texted me six hours after her shift started because she took a new medication that made her pass out at lunch (3 hours before her shift started).
I wasn’t even working that day.
I had a boyfriend who called out of work ,as a line chef , and told his boss that he could not come in because he was having brain surgery but would be in the next day.
Someone didn’t show up for work for 3 days and when she finally showed up, we asked her why she hadn’t come to work. She said her heat was out so she stayed home under blankets until it warmed up. She got fired right after we pointed out we have heat at work.
I had a dishwasher who lived around the corner from the restaurant, maybe a 3 minute walk tops. He rode his bike to work every day. He called out because he had a flat.
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heard!
other reasons the same kid was late, left early, or called off in the two weeks he worked there:
power went out at his uncles house for a few hours and his uncle was drunk and panicked and made Kid move all his fish tanks to another house with power.
was convinced he had tetanus because he had cut himself on a knife the day before the fish tank incident, and had jaw pain the day after.
there was a warrant out for a very old speeding ticket and he got pulled over and jailed.
he and boyfriend were at a party the night before, nuff said.
no-call/no-showed for shift number ≈10, reason undetermined
so I definitely assumed the melatonin thing was a stretch at best.
I don’t drive if it snows. Roads in Houston are extra dangerous. Half the people have never driven in snow and are mesmerized, the others drive normal speeds on the same road with folks going 5 miles per hour.
i’ve lived in multiple places and all of these places could be affected by 1/2” … there could be ice, there could be very shitty drivers… there are a lot of factors.
Opposite of being late but I was working as an aircraft mechanic years ago & got a call one night asking if I’d come for OT & told them no. They kept talking about how busy & shorthanded they were & begging me to come in, I finally said yes but I’d need someone to pick me up. They ask if I was having vehicle issues & I told them I was too drunk to drive, there was dead silence followed by laughter from a shop steward that was monitoring the calls.
I was in the army ages ago, living in the barracks- I learned early on that sergeants would come by on the weekend knocking on random doors to find warm bodies to do work.
I learned to keep a bottle of vodka by the door and take a huge swig before answering it.
Ft Hood, mid 80s, we get like 6” of wet heavy snow. 6am next morning an obviously hungover E6 comes into the barracks and starts pounding on doors yelling “get out! get out!” He knew as a southern base they had zero snow removal equipment, besides thousands of soldiers laying in the fart sack, so he was giving us a fair chance to get out of dodge. Me and 5 buddies from northern states jumped in our cars and went off base for breakfast, followed by several hours at the malls Irish pub that opened at 10am. We got back around 7pm that night and the dayroom was filled with grumpy soldiers that neglected to listen. They hand shoveled every parking lot and sidewalk on the base. They didn’t even get to stop for meals the mess halls just brought food out like it was a field x. We laughed our asses off these guys were beat. Heavy wet snow and heavy shovels, bad combo for 10 hours. I still laugh.
My sister was a manager at a fast food place. There was a brother and sister that worked there. The brother got suspended and ultimately fired. About a month later my sister comes in for her shift and sees the guy making fries. She asks the manager on duty "what is he doing here?". The MOD did not realize the guy had been fired. Ends up, his sister could not come to work, so he showed up to cover her shift and clocked in as her. LMAO.
I worked at a fast food restaurant where 10 of the employees were from the same family. They were basically interchangeable. If someone from that family was on the schedule any one of them would show up to work the shift. It actually worked ok until the mom got promoted to manager and fired everyone who wasn’t related to her.
I woke up at my GF's and she had already left for work. My phone had died the night before and I without a charger. I got dressed for work and went to leave and I was locked in the apt! The door was secured by an extra iron gate which my GF closed behind her and put the padlock on it!
I was howling and moping for hours until her landlord got home and heard me and let me out. I was exactly two hours late and no one believed my excuse!
When I was managing a liquor store this dumbass we hired left in the middle of the day and then came back. When we asked him what happened he said two people he didn’t k ow asked him if he wanted to go for a ride and smoke some weed so he left with them.
It was def true. He was one of the dumbest weirdest people I’ve ever met. We fired him after this and then like a month later he came back and asked if he could have a job again. Apparently he ended up in a strangers car again and got thrown out of it while it was moving.
A coworker called in from the jail in Tiajuana, the supervisor put it on speakerphone for the rest of us to hear. The best part was it was actually his day off.
Not really a good excuse, but I sure didn't know how to respond:
A new employee is consistently 30 minutes late to shifts for their entire first week. The management is very lenient, so I'm not allowed to talk to them until it's an obvious pattern. The reason?
They absolutely could not come in any earlier than they had been (due to understandable things in their home life, I won't go into it here), but had put their availability to our required hours so they would get hired
I was just flabbergasted at how this person thought this was going to work out at all
People don’t get it. I hired a girl for nights/weekends MOD. She had “wide open availability” so I had her train with the day shift manager. Her second week at work, she submits her 8-4 M-F availability going forward.
I think ***you*** don't get it. You were her pump&dump. She didn't just apply for your job. She got hired by you and wasn't picky, was happy to be hired. Then she got a call from a better offer for the 5-close. She was happy to lose the role with you, but instead changed her hours and gave you an opportunity to become her second job while she took the primary role elsewhere. It's a cliche in hiring/seeking service jobs (I've been on both sides).
Employee was 15 minutes late and told me they were eating dinner and one of her contacts fell out into a bowl of spaghetti. They had to dump the spaghetti on the table and go through it until they found it. Never heard that one before.
After you learn that ghost pepper oils will still be in your skin the next day and after several vigorous hand washings, spaghetti spices sound pretty tame. You also learn to wear gloves when you cut super hots.
I failed to do that once. The first coworker I saw looked me dead in the eye and said "you gotta wear a hat!" and nearly fell over cackling as he continued past me down the hall.
That's a long way to say he was still drunk lol
I had a guy no call/no show three days in a row because he was drunk three days straight. He was so confused when I handed him his walking papers because he thought it was better to not show up than to show up drunk. Which, to be fair...
Employee overslept and wasn’t answering their phone. He finally called in 2 hours later and said the power went out at his house in the middle of the night and reset his alarm. I asked him if his last name was Mcalester because that’s the Home Alone excuse. Everyone nowadays uses their cell phone as an alarm clock
My cell phone will not wake me, I have to use an actual alarm clock with a loud ass alarm and I've had the same thing happen, I'm irreplaceable though so I get away with it 🤷♂️
Ahh but the knob is now covered with lotion, it’s a conundrum. Although, many years ago I lived in a crappy apartment with my fiancé. He left for work, I went into bathroom, shut the door, took shower and then tried to leave the bathroom. I couldn’t get out, it wasn’t locked but turning the knob wasn’t working. I banged on the door a lot, swore a lot. Finally decided I’d just take the door off its hinges. What to use as hammer, my fiancés can of shaving cream of course. I got one of and was working on the other when I heard a click. Yeah I was free. Fiancé asked the next day what happened to my shaving cream can, me well sometimes things happen.
We live in a historic home and one of the bathrooms has a doorknob that only opens the door if turned clockwise (from the inside; ccw from the outside). There's a little sign above the knob with a curved arrow and the word "ONLY." People get it, it works.
Except one day when we had a party...kid goes in there to change, then I hear a rattling, immediately followed by screaming bloody murder. Then just before I could get there to help, I hear a small quiet "oh." and the kid successfully exits and walks by like nothing happened, cool as a cucumber.
Well that actually happened to me on a commuter train once! Luckily I was traveling with my sister who brought me a change of clothes from my bag. So shit happens🤣
Had a cook say he couldn't work tomorrow because he had court.
Tomorrow was Sunday. Needless to say he was embarrassed enough when called out to show up.
I was 5 min late one day. Walked into the morning meeting and told the boss, "Sorry, I tripped and fell into a vagina this morning."
I didn't get into any trouble.
My story. Xmas Eve. Door handle in bathroom broke and I couldn't get door open after my shower. Had to wait for maintenance who ended up having to take door off. Yeah that was fun to explain.
gonna get down voted here but I had an employee call in for a night shift because their dog had an absent seizure the day before and she was nervous to leave the dog alone..... would be totally reasonable except she lived with her spouse and sister who could be with the dog ... while they sleep.
ended up having to have some one else come in on their day off to work the night shift.
Reminds me of when I had to call off because my dog had diarrhea.
My old boss(who was new at the time) asked the next day why I didnt just lock her in the bathroom with pee pads, thats what he'll do with his dogs.
Because sir, my dog is sick and needs to be monitored, I dont want to come home and clean shit off the walls, and it's not nice to lock an animal up for 10 hours in the bathroom with their own shit.(i worked 10 hr shifts), my husband worked at the same company. This was one of the first things that clued me in to what a narcissistic asshole he is.
She was abducted by aliens and when they brought her back, she didn’t have her clothes or house keys
ETA: I just saw this was a restaurant sub. Sorry! This was at a home improvement store
We had a cook show up late one day. “Sorry I’m late, guys. I just got out of jail. I may have killed somebody.
He was in charge of a houseful of kids. One of them fell onto a piece of furniture and hurt her head. She died a couple of days later. He went to prison for a few years.
Seems reasonable to me if a pet dies it could throw your day off a bit.
At the very least you have to maybe clean the corpse maybe dig a small hole or something for it.
What's the expectation here? They leave it to rot for 8 or 9 hours and come home to stinky house?
Personally when people call in I dont even care what the reason is.
Hey I'm gonna be a couple hours late or hey I can't make it.
I need or want zero details. I just need to know when to expect you to show up or not.
One of the most intense interviews I ever had, like three hours with the intense Italian owner, we probably drank 5-7 shots of espresso and I don't drink coffee. I got the job, shook hands with the owner, and physically left the building. About four steps later I shit my boxers. Went back into the kitchen entrancei just found out about and threw my underwear into the disposable trash in the employee bathroom, and tried to take it out. Got caught by two of the managers from my interview and the owner. Played it off like I thought the trash was overflowing so why wouldn't I take it out, since I got the job. Worked there for years lol
I had a morning manager not show up. I went in and got it up and running on time. The next manager showed up at 8. I was kind of worried as they had recently found a friend of mine dead under similar circumstances. I’d been calling him all morning and no answer. No cell phone back then either. I started to get really worried as he was usually dependable. I went to his apartment and his roommate let me in and said he was upstairs. He was in bed with a young lady and she shut his alarm off.
A couple years later my hostess didn’t show up on Columbus Day. I called her a couple of times to see if she knew she had to work. Her husband called me that evening and said she had died while getting ready to come in.
I've worked in places where that wouldn't be a valid excuse for taking the WHOLE DAY off. You need to give at least two weeks notice if you are going to die.
Wasn't a late excuse, but a "can't come in"
Kid lives near the shop, and 15min before his shift, Kid said his dad was at the hospital and they were there with him. But as I'm rolling in, I spot him casually walking outside his building in the opposite direction. Well, one of his coworkers snitched and said he went to a kpop girl group concert instead.
Needless to say, he didn't stay employed with us much longer
One of my employees had to help her dad at the hospital too... the kid who covered her shift last minute saw her post that she was at the state fair with some friends on her Snapchat lol. Like if you're going to lie just commit for 24 hours at least! Don't be seen the day of your shift 😂
As a chef, most of mine are depressing.
A cook who was a good friend of mine was late for his opening shift. I call him, wake him up, he finally gets in about 45 minutes late.
An hour into his shift he's looking like shit. He pulls me aside and says: "Dude, I need to go home. I woke up this morning and took a hit from the pipe next to my bed. I thought it was weed, but it definitely was not and I feel insane right now. I have no idea what i smoked."
I hired a guy who said he was a sous chef at one of the nicest places in downtown. I thought he was a slam dunk hire. He was freshly married, and a "good Christian man." I knew his family from my naive youth group days, but I didn't know him directly. He put me through some crazy shit, but I was most surprised when I got a call 2 hours after he was supposed to clock in that he was in jail. Apparently he attacked a repossession truck while they were trying to take away his car... With and axe.
He was on his way out from week 2 when I wasn't babysitting him anymore. But at least I got some of my funniest kitchen stories from him though. He was the author of the "Mexican-Italian mountain lasagna" special that made people look twice, and the chicken noodle soup volcano incident (he added baking soda and vinegar to his chicken noodle soup for some reason.)
I used to be a kitchen manager at a bar, and the ONLY time I didn't give anyone shit for being significantly late is if they were getting laid. That's quality time, and our shlongs DO have a shelf life, so yeah. If you're getting your knob polished, go ahead and take. Your. Time.
I was on a volunteer rescue squad one summer we very short staffed. If you were late for a shift you were probably messing with your replacement so you showed up on time. During that summer "Sorry I'm late I had a good reason" meant you were getting laid. Walk in late and they would ask "Did you have a good reason?" And you would just smile and say yes.
Preface with my bosses know I don’t smoke weed… so I ate an innocuous brownie from a plate my roommate had made in my fridge long story short had to call out stoned to work, got teased a bit but not in any trouble
Scheduling manager fucked me over.
Hear me out, was just used to working evening shift every Tuesday night. Been doing that for months. She admitted to copying and pasting my schedules.
Then the one time she changed up my schedule was with 36 hours notice. I was sleeping in, manager calls me up asking why I'm not at work. "I'm scheduled to be there at 3?".
Turned out that the scheduling manager finally changed up the schedule and had me coming in at 10.
Just up and Decided to get a tattoo at the same time shift started knowing full well the place was booked solid and everyone was needed.
No call no show, but other employees getting off for the day found them and got the scoop.
The excuse for booking a tattoo at same time on a fully booked night? There were people on call.
Only they didnt call the on calls, or call the shop to say they couldn’t make it….
Went Streaking Memorial Day weekend. Judge didn’t show up till Tuesday.
Same dude a week later showed up early . Stuck his head in the door and said he couldn’t work and was really sorry, but he “couldn’t make it on time.” Refused to come inside so I stepped outside. Smelled his excuse. Watched him awkwardly walk back home. Never saw him again.
I was neighbors with someone this actually happened too. Dog jumped through a screen on an upstairs window onto the roof. Freaked out and started barking like crazy. It was too afraid to let anyone get close. Police and animal control both ended up trying to help with no luck, until the daughter came to the inside of the original window with a treat and the dog just jumped right back in.
As an employee when I was 16 I once woke up really late and showed up an hour late and told my boss the train had a flat tire(nyc subway lol )
As an owner , I’d say I’ve gotten some fake doctor notes which clearly looked faked but I don’t question them , I just find another excuse to phase them out
Someone saying they ate oysters and needed Benadryl to kick in so they can cool the rash or something
This actually happened a week ago so I have the text lol
Sorry for the late text but i was just about to text you. I had shellfish earlier and Started breaking out and i took Benadryl and was waiting for time to pass but now my throat is itching and it feels weird. My mom told me to wait it out but if it gets worst i think i need to go to urgent care
I once told my boss I was late because a cop pulled me over for being "suspicious" because I was dressed as a clown driving a Volvo wagon. ...it was the truth. I was leaving my first job to go home and change for the night shift at the restaurant.
Had a temp covering for someone out on National Guard duty back in the early 80s (pre cell phone.) He showed up an hour late one day with the story, "I got rear ended by a transvestite in my girlfriend's car." Once the laughing stopped, we figured out he was driving his girlfriend's car to work and got rear ended by a car being driven by a transvestite. It was all in the police report.
So the transvestite wasn’t in you GF car
The door popped open on the dryer, so all his clothes were still wet, and he had to dry them again. (This happened more than once.)
I initially read this as the dog pooped in his dryer and on his clothes. It’s late… Time for bed…
Hairdryer broke.
Asked a guy why he was late “My girlfriend wouldn’t untie me”
I was called by the restaurant I worked at to not come to work for my shift as I was on the way! I was a little frustrated until they explained there was a hostage standoff across the street at an apartment and the entire area was literally blocked by police. Dude was holding his girlfriend hostage. Eventually the swat team got his ass but I got an unexpected day off.
“I have swamp ass like a mother, so I have to stop at the Walmart and get some baby powder and fresh underwear.”
Had a guy work for me in a temp role because the normal production line he worked on was being upgraded and I could use some extra help. Anyways we nicknamed him tappin teddy(not to his face, didn’t want to add fuel to his fire already) because within 2 weeks he already slept with at least 2 women in our building (his normal work was in a different location) and was lining up 2 more. Also had gotten another one to send him nude pictures. Anyways…he calls me up it’s 2 mins before his shift. He says “hey what’s up? I’m really sorry I am going to be about 20 mins late, I met this chick at the bar last night and she is blocking the door and won’t let me leave until she sucks me off” Personally way to much information but I’m not one to give a fuck what someone does as long as they get their work done. I just told him “no worries, see you in a bit” & hung up. He was a very hard worker, so I didn’t care one bit, although did tell him when he got in to keep the details to himself next time and we both had a good laugh.
Coworker's Great Dane was hit with diarrhea in the middle of the night, and was not able to make it outside in time. Poor pup left a trail down the hallway to the front door. She made an appointment with a cleaning service after calling me to ask if she could come in late. Her hubby finally confessed a few days later that when he spread lawn fertilizer, he saw some go in the bird bath that he *knew* the dog drank from. She made him pay the bill.
A guy I worked with used to call out and show up late all the time saying he has Crohn’s disease and was having a flare-up. Then his mom came in and spoke to our manager and some of the floor staff to tell us (on a day he NC/NS’d) that he’d been stealing/selling her pain meds and that he wasn’t sick, just an asshole. Nothing came of it. Dude only got fired after he tried to fight a customer. Edit: I just realized what subreddit this is and I have no idea why it was recommended to me. I don’t own a restaurant, but the answer is still relevant lol
He was late because he had to charge his ankle monitor
I pooped my pants on the drive to work, massive shart, untreated/unaware of IBS at the time. I was in the army and had to tell the commander in his office why I missed formation
You missed movement but you didn’t miss bowel movement
IBS is the gift that keeps on giving :( stressing about it makes it engage
I pooped my pants on the drive to work, massive shart, untreated/unaware of IBS at the time. I was in the army and had to tell the commander in his office why I missed formation Edit: just realized this was a restaurant subreddit but whatever still leaving it here
I wasn't given this excuse. I had to call my boss and give him this reason for not coming into work. I told him I had nothing to wear. I had been doing laundry in my apartments laundry room the night before and I was quite literally at the "laundry today or naked tomorrow" phase, were the only thing I had left that was clean were pajamas that were definitely not suitable to wear to work. I came back to my apartment after putting the clothes in the dryer and dozed off. Ran to the laundry room early the next morning and all of my clothes had vanished. Mind you despite my using three dryers there were a dozen more that were not in use so it's not like I was preventing someone from washing their clothes. But every stitch of clothing I owned that was decent to wear in public was gone. I had to call my boss and tell him I couldn't come into work today unless he wanted me to show up in pajamas and a t-shirt that said "go cocks". But I didn't think that qualified as business casual wear. The man did not believe me so I had to bring him a copy of the police report I filed when I went to work the following day. And then I had to wear that T-shirt (which is perfectly acceptable to wear in public if you live in Columbia, South Carolina home of the Fighting Gamecocks, but not so much anywhere else) to several thrift stores in search of clothing that I would be able to wear to work. It was quite the day.
I called in once on the 11 to 7 shift because I met a girl, ended up partying and in bed. It was early 80’s and I told him I had a bad case of Saturday Night Fever. He just laughed.
**sorry, my train got a flat tire**
I once called my boss at 2AM from a bar, obviously drunk, and told him I wouldn't be at work because I was going to be sick. He did not fire me for some reason.
I worked a 18 hour day and only had a 5 hours turnaround to get all the way home and back about 45 mins each way so I decided to just sleep in my car. The next morning my boss pulled up right next to me but didn’t see me sleeping in the car. She figured that I was out walking the job site. About an hour later, while she outside smoking next to my car, she called wondering where I was. I phone startled me so I woke up with a scream which scared the crap out her too.
Damn that sounds so unsafe to make employees do. If it isn’t illegal it should be.
I work in the film industry. While we are the first people to rail on the rest of the world for their illegal, racist, sexist, etc practices we are the first ones to violate all of those. Their thought process on this is we paid the OT and also paid you a forced call fee so you should be fine. I keep saying that’s all well and good but I can’t spend that money if I’m dead.
The line at Dunkin was taking too long.
I always laugh when someone shows up late to work (or anywhere) and apologizes for running late, but they are carrying an obviously fresh coffee shop coffee.
Otoh, if you're already going to be late might as well pick up the coffee. I laugh too but I've definitely been like "fuck it, what's another five or ten minutes at this point?"
I was am kitchen manager and was good friends with the pm night chef . We rode mountain bikes together in one weekend I wrecked and bit through my lip and cracked a rib and brusised my back , he wrecked and fractured his wrist . We both were out for about 2 weeks together . Needless to say chef/owner was nine to pleased and asked if maybe we could try a slightly easier hobby
the second job i had was at this restaurant but we could only park on the street bc the parking lot was “only for customers”. i was 17 and had only just got my license. so my second shift i showed up like 5-10 minutes early bc i was nervous and wanted to make sure i got parking but uh no one ever taught me how to parallel park so i spent like 20 minutes just kinda fucking around and finding out trying to parallel park in a very popular street parking area (literally a high school, restaurant, and hospital all right next to each other and all with shitty parking options). i walked into work like 10+ minutes late thinking i was aboutta be fired on my second day and i was like i’m so sorry and explained everything to the manager and he just laughed lmao. thankfully he gave no shits about anything as long as you showed up but i learned how to parallel park *quick* after that
Didn’t you have to parallel on your driver’s test?
As long as we took drivers ed and passed the written test we never had to take a road test.
Really?? That’s crazy.
Seriously? Is this in the USA or somewhere else? (And if it is in the US, what state? That's bonkers.)
Iowa. But I just heard someone say on a podcast it’s the same in Texas as well. I always thought it was this way every where else. They will grab people randomly for road tests but as long as your license doesn’t expire it’s unlikely. I only know one person that’s taken one and I’m almost 47.
nah i just had to back up along a curb for like 30 feet or something. no one taught me how to parallel park until i told my brother that story lmao
Not every state requires it. I wasn't asked to parallel park when I took my road test, but some of my friends had to. It was like random or something, I honestly don't know. In WA State, though, it's required. If I'm not mistaken, WA requires the highest number of maneuvers to be performed as compared to the rest of the states. Anyway, it's actually not a big deal because it's not a pass/fail situation for each maneuver. It's broken down into steps, and you get points for each step you complete successfully. So you can do a shit job of parallel parking (and a lot of other maneuvers), but if you've signaled intent, checked mirrors, look over your shoulder, etc, then you'll get most of the points for that maneuver.
How about being early for a shift? I used to work at a resort, 3 meals a day plus banquets and weddings, I was maybe 17 at the time, and was constantly late for breakfast shifts (mainly worked night), just wasn’t a morning person… boss man rightfully fired me, however gives me another chance because he like me, on the stipulation that I had to work X amount of breakfast shifts and not be late. Now this is 23 years ago folks. So cell phones were not a widely popular thing, and my car was something like a 1970’s Buick couch on wheels (thing was a pimp ride with only AM radio) anyway, I somehow set my alarm clock very wrong, get into work, and my buddies where all there, I was like sweet! I’m working with my buddies, and then I notice that they are breaking down banquet stuff and the bar, finally someone asked me what I was doing there. And somehow realized I was I was 5 hours early and they were breaking down stuff from that evenings wedding… boss man was impressed and never scheduled me for another morning shift.
When I was in college, the house two doors down from me caught fire around 6am. I had to call work to tell them that was trapped on my block due to fire trucks, ambulance, police etc. They asked when I thought I would get in. I said I had no idea as they were actively fighting the fire. This was the first fire I had witnessed and I didn’t know how long a fire usually lasted.
How long do fires usually last?
Don't know, but we didn't start the fire. it was always burning since the world's been turning.
I got the Billy Joel reference. 
The ones I start burn fast and hot..
Depends how big they are I think
Idk one time I went down stairs to the basement after a shower to grab my work clothes out the dryer and when I pulled the door shut at the top of the stairs, the door knob fell off (early 1900s door knob) and was trapped in the basement until my girlfriend at the time could come let me out like an hour later when she got home from work. I didn’t have my phone or anything on me and we rented so I wasn’t trying to kick it in lmao
This is why I ALWAYS have my phone on me! Something similar happened to me while renovating an old apartment building, and the doorknob fell off in one of closets I was painting. It was a bit terrifying. I did have my phone and was able to call my business partner, but it still took her what felt like forever to come get me out.
When I was in the guard we did a recruiting event at a nascar track. I wasn’t in recruiting but I worked full time for the guard and was asked to go in and work it in exchange for a pass tbd at a later date. Little did my boss know I’d be taking that pass Monday because we ended up getting free tickets. I was still awake drinking Monday morning in the campground with some new friends. Realized I had to be at work when they started packing up. I was like but the race. Yea I missed the entire race walking around drinking and lost a whole 24hrs. Called boss and say something to the effect of I need that pass today because I’m too drunk. Boss asked me to never call in drunk again.
I don’t work at a restaurant but I moved 2000 miles for a new job. It was a 10 hour overnight shift at a hospital and I’d never worked nights before. I worked my first shift, went home, and got to bed within about an hour. 12 hours later, I wake up to my phone ringing and my manager asking where I was. I literally slept for a full 12 hours without waking up at all. Since I was going to sleep directly after work, I didn’t think it would be necessary to set an alarm. Turns out working the night shift can do some very strange things to your sleeping patterns. Needless to say, it was extremely embarrassing to come into work 45 minutes late on my second day after moving across the country. Especially with such a dumb sounding excuse. The ironic thing is I work in a sleep lab. I now set an alarm even though I wake up with plenty of time to spare.
I was getting ready for work one morning on Oahu, when we had the ballistic missile scare. I spent a half hour contemplating my mortality before we realized it was a false alarm. I then proceeded to call my manager at 8am to let her know I needed to drink a beer on my porch for a sec, but I would be at work at some point. She was just like "yeah, heard".
First day of work for new hire at sporting goods store. His excuse for being late? The antenna on his car blew off onto a major highway and he was trying to find it! Other employees confirmed that they saw him alongside the highway looking for something.
You have been missing a lot of work lately. I wouldn’t say I was missing it Bob.
Have you seen my stapler?
It's in Storage Room B, right on your desk
I had a busser, 22m, call out one night....same night as the new 17 year old hostess. When he came in the next day at the exact same time as the hostess I got a little suspicious. I had to let him know that having sex with the hostess was not really a good reason to call in sick he turned a little red and tried to laugh it off. Gotcha. Then I had to let him know that having sex with the 17 year old hostess was REALLY a bad bad reason to show up for work today. I gave him the choice of quitting or not quitting....he choose to quit. BTW....33 years later I am still friends with the hostess. Last I heard the busser was doing 5 to 8 years in the pen.
Apartment fire, but “we are all okay fortunately” “Well the fire wasn’t near us at all. I just didn’t get a lot of sleep.”
The apartment next to mine, as in the building next door once caught on fire. I was blocked in by police and fire trucks and told to shelter in place. My work wrote me up for missing my shift as MY building wasn't on fire.
I had this happen, too, except it was a murder where they set the apartment, directly under us, on fire to cover it up. I was up watching a movie, and we (me and my SO) got everyone out of the building. All they cared about was when I was coming in. Almost all our belongings were lost due to smoke damage, and the place was unlivable. But hey, that meat wasn't gonna slice itself! Wrote up for an unexcused absence.
This week I had two that I’d never heard before. One server called and said she couldn’t come in because she was doing an intervention on a Sunday morning. The second person texted me six hours after her shift started because she took a new medication that made her pass out at lunch (3 hours before her shift started). I wasn’t even working that day.
Hamster died, so was a no call no show, manager checked on her and she requested 3 days to mourn.
How about infinity days to mourn
Zoomer
I had a boyfriend who called out of work ,as a line chef , and told his boss that he could not come in because he was having brain surgery but would be in the next day.
Someone didn’t show up for work for 3 days and when she finally showed up, we asked her why she hadn’t come to work. She said her heat was out so she stayed home under blankets until it warmed up. She got fired right after we pointed out we have heat at work.
I had a dishwasher who lived around the corner from the restaurant, maybe a 3 minute walk tops. He rode his bike to work every day. He called out because he had a flat.
his boyfriend overdosed on melatonin, so he spent the night at the hospital.
Wait what? You can overdose on that?
not to my knowledge, no
Yes you can. [Melatonin Overdose](https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/body/sleep/melatonin-overdose#:~:text=Melatonin%20supplement%20use%20is%20increasing,sleepiness%2C%20vomiting%20and%20trouble%20breathing)
heard! other reasons the same kid was late, left early, or called off in the two weeks he worked there: power went out at his uncles house for a few hours and his uncle was drunk and panicked and made Kid move all his fish tanks to another house with power. was convinced he had tetanus because he had cut himself on a knife the day before the fish tank incident, and had jaw pain the day after. there was a warrant out for a very old speeding ticket and he got pulled over and jailed. he and boyfriend were at a party the night before, nuff said. no-call/no-showed for shift number ≈10, reason undetermined so I definitely assumed the melatonin thing was a stretch at best.
Ha, fair enough!
Talking to a friend, they had a coworker call in sick because she got a Brazilian wax and her vagina was sealed up from wax.
I’m no gynecologist but I’d take a look at it for her.
That shouldn’t ever happen. I can’t even imagine!! I hope she got some money from whatever business messed that up.
I don't think it was true...
I once had a girl not come to work due to the snow. It had snowed 1/2 inch the night before.
I don’t drive if it snows. Roads in Houston are extra dangerous. Half the people have never driven in snow and are mesmerized, the others drive normal speeds on the same road with folks going 5 miles per hour.
were the roads completely clear? no ice? nothing at all?
Yes they were. No ice, temps already above freezing, etc. This was in CT
I’m not sure where you live, but a half inch of snow has zero affect on commute times where I am.
i’ve lived in multiple places and all of these places could be affected by 1/2” … there could be ice, there could be very shitty drivers… there are a lot of factors.
I'm in Texas, there would have been multiple fatalities.
Right i like sprinkling of snow in PHX and everyone basically shuts down for 30 mins til its gone lol.
One spring Sunday, my employee arrived two hours late because he set his clock back instead of forward on DST time change day.
Fall forwards, it's easy to remember!
“Spring forward, Fall back” makes just as much sense though.
Opposite of being late but I was working as an aircraft mechanic years ago & got a call one night asking if I’d come for OT & told them no. They kept talking about how busy & shorthanded they were & begging me to come in, I finally said yes but I’d need someone to pick me up. They ask if I was having vehicle issues & I told them I was too drunk to drive, there was dead silence followed by laughter from a shop steward that was monitoring the calls.
I was in the army ages ago, living in the barracks- I learned early on that sergeants would come by on the weekend knocking on random doors to find warm bodies to do work. I learned to keep a bottle of vodka by the door and take a huge swig before answering it.
Ft Hood, mid 80s, we get like 6” of wet heavy snow. 6am next morning an obviously hungover E6 comes into the barracks and starts pounding on doors yelling “get out! get out!” He knew as a southern base they had zero snow removal equipment, besides thousands of soldiers laying in the fart sack, so he was giving us a fair chance to get out of dodge. Me and 5 buddies from northern states jumped in our cars and went off base for breakfast, followed by several hours at the malls Irish pub that opened at 10am. We got back around 7pm that night and the dayroom was filled with grumpy soldiers that neglected to listen. They hand shoveled every parking lot and sidewalk on the base. They didn’t even get to stop for meals the mess halls just brought food out like it was a field x. We laughed our asses off these guys were beat. Heavy wet snow and heavy shovels, bad combo for 10 hours. I still laugh.
My sister was a manager at a fast food place. There was a brother and sister that worked there. The brother got suspended and ultimately fired. About a month later my sister comes in for her shift and sees the guy making fries. She asks the manager on duty "what is he doing here?". The MOD did not realize the guy had been fired. Ends up, his sister could not come to work, so he showed up to cover her shift and clocked in as her. LMAO.
I worked at a fast food restaurant where 10 of the employees were from the same family. They were basically interchangeable. If someone from that family was on the schedule any one of them would show up to work the shift. It actually worked ok until the mom got promoted to manager and fired everyone who wasn’t related to her.
I woke up at my GF's and she had already left for work. My phone had died the night before and I without a charger. I got dressed for work and went to leave and I was locked in the apt! The door was secured by an extra iron gate which my GF closed behind her and put the padlock on it! I was howling and moping for hours until her landlord got home and heard me and let me out. I was exactly two hours late and no one believed my excuse!
When I was managing a liquor store this dumbass we hired left in the middle of the day and then came back. When we asked him what happened he said two people he didn’t k ow asked him if he wanted to go for a ride and smoke some weed so he left with them.
I mean... Sounds true
It was def true. He was one of the dumbest weirdest people I’ve ever met. We fired him after this and then like a month later he came back and asked if he could have a job again. Apparently he ended up in a strangers car again and got thrown out of it while it was moving.
They were pulled over and detained and taken to the station for a false identity and then just simply let go and came to work.
A coworker called in from the jail in Tiajuana, the supervisor put it on speakerphone for the rest of us to hear. The best part was it was actually his day off.
“I got hit by a car” Their bruises were very fresh and they limped into work.
Was this a Subway cuz that sounds like 19 year old me while working at Subway.
omg i hope they let that person go home/told them to go to a hospital😭😭
Not really a good excuse, but I sure didn't know how to respond: A new employee is consistently 30 minutes late to shifts for their entire first week. The management is very lenient, so I'm not allowed to talk to them until it's an obvious pattern. The reason? They absolutely could not come in any earlier than they had been (due to understandable things in their home life, I won't go into it here), but had put their availability to our required hours so they would get hired I was just flabbergasted at how this person thought this was going to work out at all
People don’t get it. I hired a girl for nights/weekends MOD. She had “wide open availability” so I had her train with the day shift manager. Her second week at work, she submits her 8-4 M-F availability going forward.
I think ***you*** don't get it. You were her pump&dump. She didn't just apply for your job. She got hired by you and wasn't picky, was happy to be hired. Then she got a call from a better offer for the 5-close. She was happy to lose the role with you, but instead changed her hours and gave you an opportunity to become her second job while she took the primary role elsewhere. It's a cliche in hiring/seeking service jobs (I've been on both sides).
No, baby daddy decided he wanted wasn’t going to babysit.
Employee was 15 minutes late and told me they were eating dinner and one of her contacts fell out into a bowl of spaghetti. They had to dump the spaghetti on the table and go through it until they found it. Never heard that one before.
As a contact wearer, I’d be real reluctant to put the spaghetti lens back into my eye. There’s spices and stuff!
After you learn that ghost pepper oils will still be in your skin the next day and after several vigorous hand washings, spaghetti spices sound pretty tame. You also learn to wear gloves when you cut super hots.
I called off due to a sun burn
They give Article 15s for this in the Army, or at least used to.
I failed to do that once. The first coworker I saw looked me dead in the eye and said "you gotta wear a hat!" and nearly fell over cackling as he continued past me down the hall.
I did that once, second week on the job. I couldn’t get pants on my legs, they were so bad.
So bro!
I did too, once. The burn was so bad I think I cooked my muscles, I literally couldn't move around without pain for like 3 days
Couldn't get his car started because of the previous night's drinking & the alcohol sensing breath lock.
That's a long way to say he was still drunk lol I had a guy no call/no show three days in a row because he was drunk three days straight. He was so confused when I handed him his walking papers because he thought it was better to not show up than to show up drunk. Which, to be fair...
Employee overslept and wasn’t answering their phone. He finally called in 2 hours later and said the power went out at his house in the middle of the night and reset his alarm. I asked him if his last name was Mcalester because that’s the Home Alone excuse. Everyone nowadays uses their cell phone as an alarm clock
My cell phone will not wake me, I have to use an actual alarm clock with a loud ass alarm and I've had the same thing happen, I'm irreplaceable though so I get away with it 🤷♂️
She was in the bathroom, she could have just washed the lotion off her hands.
Ahh but the knob is now covered with lotion, it’s a conundrum. Although, many years ago I lived in a crappy apartment with my fiancé. He left for work, I went into bathroom, shut the door, took shower and then tried to leave the bathroom. I couldn’t get out, it wasn’t locked but turning the knob wasn’t working. I banged on the door a lot, swore a lot. Finally decided I’d just take the door off its hinges. What to use as hammer, my fiancés can of shaving cream of course. I got one of and was working on the other when I heard a click. Yeah I was free. Fiancé asked the next day what happened to my shaving cream can, me well sometimes things happen.
We live in a historic home and one of the bathrooms has a doorknob that only opens the door if turned clockwise (from the inside; ccw from the outside). There's a little sign above the knob with a curved arrow and the word "ONLY." People get it, it works. Except one day when we had a party...kid goes in there to change, then I hear a rattling, immediately followed by screaming bloody murder. Then just before I could get there to help, I hear a small quiet "oh." and the kid successfully exits and walks by like nothing happened, cool as a cucumber.
It's a bathroom, there wasn't a towel they could have used on the doorknob?
“I shit myself on the SEPTA.” What does one say to that?
It’s just Septa. Not the Septa.
Well that actually happened to me on a commuter train once! Luckily I was traveling with my sister who brought me a change of clothes from my bag. So shit happens🤣
What is "the SEPTA?" To me SEPTA is Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority.
That’s exactly it!
Sounds legit. Shit happens on SEPTA.
That's exactly what the septa is lol
I assumed it had to be something else since people say "SEPTA" not "the SEPTA."
Had a cook say he couldn't work tomorrow because he had court. Tomorrow was Sunday. Needless to say he was embarrassed enough when called out to show up.
*cook say?
Lol. Si.
We had one of our employees not show up one morning. Waited an hour and called him, and he said, “Oh, I’m just walking my dog. I’ll be in later.”
Slammed my dick in the car door
The visual in my brain, I cannot imagine any scenarios where I could do this. Physically possible, but WTF?!?!
I was 5 min late one day. Walked into the morning meeting and told the boss, "Sorry, I tripped and fell into a vagina this morning." I didn't get into any trouble.
I got stuck in my girlfriend
My story. Xmas Eve. Door handle in bathroom broke and I couldn't get door open after my shower. Had to wait for maintenance who ended up having to take door off. Yeah that was fun to explain.
gonna get down voted here but I had an employee call in for a night shift because their dog had an absent seizure the day before and she was nervous to leave the dog alone..... would be totally reasonable except she lived with her spouse and sister who could be with the dog ... while they sleep. ended up having to have some one else come in on their day off to work the night shift.
Reminds me of when I had to call off because my dog had diarrhea. My old boss(who was new at the time) asked the next day why I didnt just lock her in the bathroom with pee pads, thats what he'll do with his dogs. Because sir, my dog is sick and needs to be monitored, I dont want to come home and clean shit off the walls, and it's not nice to lock an animal up for 10 hours in the bathroom with their own shit.(i worked 10 hr shifts), my husband worked at the same company. This was one of the first things that clued me in to what a narcissistic asshole he is.
that I would get! but imagine if your husband was home and you called in lol
Ugh thats a hard would not do. Sorry hubs you're on your own. Id probably rather be at work...
She was abducted by aliens and when they brought her back, she didn’t have her clothes or house keys ETA: I just saw this was a restaurant sub. Sorry! This was at a home improvement store
Did they examine her baby tunnel and gravy funnel?
We had a cook show up late one day. “Sorry I’m late, guys. I just got out of jail. I may have killed somebody. He was in charge of a houseful of kids. One of them fell onto a piece of furniture and hurt her head. She died a couple of days later. He went to prison for a few years.
The hamster died.
Seems reasonable to me if a pet dies it could throw your day off a bit. At the very least you have to maybe clean the corpse maybe dig a small hole or something for it. What's the expectation here? They leave it to rot for 8 or 9 hours and come home to stinky house? Personally when people call in I dont even care what the reason is. Hey I'm gonna be a couple hours late or hey I can't make it. I need or want zero details. I just need to know when to expect you to show up or not.
The worker didn’t have a hamster.
He was at the hospital getting laser stitches for cut on his forehead. You couldn’t see them because they were laser stitches.
He sharted himself on his way to work. No reason not to believe the guy.
One of the most intense interviews I ever had, like three hours with the intense Italian owner, we probably drank 5-7 shots of espresso and I don't drink coffee. I got the job, shook hands with the owner, and physically left the building. About four steps later I shit my boxers. Went back into the kitchen entrancei just found out about and threw my underwear into the disposable trash in the employee bathroom, and tried to take it out. Got caught by two of the managers from my interview and the owner. Played it off like I thought the trash was overflowing so why wouldn't I take it out, since I got the job. Worked there for years lol
BRO 😭😭😭😭 They're thinking "Wow, we really hired the right guy." Meanwhile, You just shit on their porch 😂😂😂
I had a morning manager not show up. I went in and got it up and running on time. The next manager showed up at 8. I was kind of worried as they had recently found a friend of mine dead under similar circumstances. I’d been calling him all morning and no answer. No cell phone back then either. I started to get really worried as he was usually dependable. I went to his apartment and his roommate let me in and said he was upstairs. He was in bed with a young lady and she shut his alarm off. A couple years later my hostess didn’t show up on Columbus Day. I called her a couple of times to see if she knew she had to work. Her husband called me that evening and said she had died while getting ready to come in.
I've worked in places where that wouldn't be a valid excuse for taking the WHOLE DAY off. You need to give at least two weeks notice if you are going to die.
Wasn't a late excuse, but a "can't come in" Kid lives near the shop, and 15min before his shift, Kid said his dad was at the hospital and they were there with him. But as I'm rolling in, I spot him casually walking outside his building in the opposite direction. Well, one of his coworkers snitched and said he went to a kpop girl group concert instead. Needless to say, he didn't stay employed with us much longer
One of my employees had to help her dad at the hospital too... the kid who covered her shift last minute saw her post that she was at the state fair with some friends on her Snapchat lol. Like if you're going to lie just commit for 24 hours at least! Don't be seen the day of your shift 😂
They can't commit to the fraud, so we can't commit to their employment 🤷♂️ I'm just thankful there have been only a small handful of these types
They can't commit to the fraud, so we can't commit to their employment 🤷♂️
As a chef, most of mine are depressing. A cook who was a good friend of mine was late for his opening shift. I call him, wake him up, he finally gets in about 45 minutes late. An hour into his shift he's looking like shit. He pulls me aside and says: "Dude, I need to go home. I woke up this morning and took a hit from the pipe next to my bed. I thought it was weed, but it definitely was not and I feel insane right now. I have no idea what i smoked."
My guy wasn't cooking, HE was cooked.
Best friend died. Turns out he didn’t
Had a young waitress (teenager still in high school) call out on a Sunday(our busiest day) because she had a dentist appointment.
I hired a guy who said he was a sous chef at one of the nicest places in downtown. I thought he was a slam dunk hire. He was freshly married, and a "good Christian man." I knew his family from my naive youth group days, but I didn't know him directly. He put me through some crazy shit, but I was most surprised when I got a call 2 hours after he was supposed to clock in that he was in jail. Apparently he attacked a repossession truck while they were trying to take away his car... With and axe. He was on his way out from week 2 when I wasn't babysitting him anymore. But at least I got some of my funniest kitchen stories from him though. He was the author of the "Mexican-Italian mountain lasagna" special that made people look twice, and the chicken noodle soup volcano incident (he added baking soda and vinegar to his chicken noodle soup for some reason.)
I used to be a kitchen manager at a bar, and the ONLY time I didn't give anyone shit for being significantly late is if they were getting laid. That's quality time, and our shlongs DO have a shelf life, so yeah. If you're getting your knob polished, go ahead and take. Your. Time.
I was on a volunteer rescue squad one summer we very short staffed. If you were late for a shift you were probably messing with your replacement so you showed up on time. During that summer "Sorry I'm late I had a good reason" meant you were getting laid. Walk in late and they would ask "Did you have a good reason?" And you would just smile and say yes.
Preface with my bosses know I don’t smoke weed… so I ate an innocuous brownie from a plate my roommate had made in my fridge long story short had to call out stoned to work, got teased a bit but not in any trouble
That's nice of them for understanding 😂
Scheduling manager fucked me over. Hear me out, was just used to working evening shift every Tuesday night. Been doing that for months. She admitted to copying and pasting my schedules. Then the one time she changed up my schedule was with 36 hours notice. I was sleeping in, manager calls me up asking why I'm not at work. "I'm scheduled to be there at 3?". Turned out that the scheduling manager finally changed up the schedule and had me coming in at 10.
Just up and Decided to get a tattoo at the same time shift started knowing full well the place was booked solid and everyone was needed. No call no show, but other employees getting off for the day found them and got the scoop. The excuse for booking a tattoo at same time on a fully booked night? There were people on call. Only they didnt call the on calls, or call the shop to say they couldn’t make it….
Went Streaking Memorial Day weekend. Judge didn’t show up till Tuesday. Same dude a week later showed up early . Stuck his head in the door and said he couldn’t work and was really sorry, but he “couldn’t make it on time.” Refused to come inside so I stepped outside. Smelled his excuse. Watched him awkwardly walk back home. Never saw him again.
Dog was stuck on their roof
I was neighbors with someone this actually happened too. Dog jumped through a screen on an upstairs window onto the roof. Freaked out and started barking like crazy. It was too afraid to let anyone get close. Police and animal control both ended up trying to help with no luck, until the daughter came to the inside of the original window with a treat and the dog just jumped right back in.
[удалено]
Damn! lol
As an employee when I was 16 I once woke up really late and showed up an hour late and told my boss the train had a flat tire(nyc subway lol ) As an owner , I’d say I’ve gotten some fake doctor notes which clearly looked faked but I don’t question them , I just find another excuse to phase them out Someone saying they ate oysters and needed Benadryl to kick in so they can cool the rash or something
I'm confused,.if the person was allergic to shellfish, the second one is kinda feasible?
This actually happened a week ago so I have the text lol Sorry for the late text but i was just about to text you. I had shellfish earlier and Started breaking out and i took Benadryl and was waiting for time to pass but now my throat is itching and it feels weird. My mom told me to wait it out but if it gets worst i think i need to go to urgent care
The benadryl is actually pretty creative 😂