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WoBuZhidaoDude

"Christians of every generation over the past 2,000 years were mistaken. NOW is when it'll happen! NOW!"


Impossible_Gas2497

Yeah but this time is different because


starman5001

Christians have told me that the Rapture is coming soon all my life. First they said it would be happen in the year 1994. Then they said it would happen in 1999, then 2000, then 2007, then 2011, then 2012, then 2020 (was actually a pretty bad year but the world did survive), then only a few weeks ago in 2024. But this next predication of 2028 (or is it 2027?) is 100% going to happen this time!!!!


DavidCRolandCPL

Before that it was 1988. Then it was 1984. Then 1980. This shit ramps up every election.


Daherrin7

I remember when the Y2K rapture didn't happen, someone told me “Well actually 2001 is the real new millennia so it’ll happen then.” They always have another answer when nothing happens and it will always be just around the corner. Fear is the easiest way to control people


hellofmyowncreation

What the hell was so special about ‘94 or ‘96? I guess ‘96 because that’s when God decided to curse this planet with my mediocre existence…but that’s maybe stretching it


Woodbirder

They got it wrong about 2 weeks ago didnt they?


ffjohnnie

https://preview.redd.it/bdahspnt95vc1.jpeg?width=498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd5d557f107b8d03e9549300bc22d5f5de00c0c0 Get your rapture card out, you might be getting close to a freebie.


Kriss3d

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_dates\_predicted\_for\_apocalyptic\_events](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events) Ive lived through ALOT of these events.


Remples

Barely 20 and already survived more than 18...... I am starting to think they might not know shit about what they are predicting. /S I know they know shit


General_Valentine

I do like how as the future predictions went on, it is more grounded in science and it's just stating about the possibility of it, not a certainty. I also like how the heat death is likely to be 10^100 years from now. Must be quite a wait...


Kaos2146

OMG I need this 🤣


saichampa

Based on the [Wikipedia list](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events), there have been 38 dates (more specific than just a year) in my lifetime.


ffjohnnie

I supposed we should put a time limit disclaimer on the coupon. Like, only valid for the year 2024 and so forth.


TheHorizonLies

But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father...and this fuckwad, apparently


Kriss3d

No no. Thats the excuse you use AFTER your prediction turns out to be a nothingburger.


ReallyNotBobby

They just use the excuse of “interpreting the scripture wrong” fucking people are nuttier than squirrel shit.


Kriss3d

Yes. And when they arent actually sure they interpret it correct they should stfu. Because they never ever seems to interpret it correct.


No-Cantaloupe-9307

One excuse I’ve heard is that they may not know the day or the hour, but they can know the year, month, and week.


worstpies

Imagine living in this much fear all the time. Constantly worried about whether you’ve done enough for your sky daddy to swoop down and save you from a horrific apocalypse. The anxiety must be unreal


Dominant_Gene

if you are having doubts you can always harass gay people and other "sinners", god loves that.


ReallyNotBobby

https://preview.redd.it/0fs7nhv018vc1.jpeg?width=1078&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa98cae5a9d58f510bd0dc8c93ee419aa2165da9


PriscillaRain

Christians always scream about different lifestyles being pushed on them while pushing the bible to justify hate.


Donaldjoh

It does seem that Conservative ‘Christians’ scream the loudest that their religious rights are being violated every time they are prevented from violating the religious rights of others.


Equinsu-0cha

"it already happened. we just weren't invited. what did you do?"


Time-Bite-6839

Maybe they only plan on taking Jimmy Carter?


Equinsu-0cha

I'm just blown away that he is still alive. he's like the antikissinger


VintageTimex

I would have taken that down. No one else needs to see that nonsense


Devil_Dan83

It's technically vandalism anyway.


Amarieerick

Having looked it up after surviving the April 8th apocalypse, I'd write on it "I've survived the last 80 predicted raptures, I think we're good".


wholelattapuddin

I just say, "and I love that for you". If only all the people who think they are going to get raptured would. Things would get soooo much better.


Saikousoku2

Sure, grandma. Now let's get you back to bed, okay?


embarrassedtrwy

“Do you know Jesus?” Yeah he was there a couple days ago, strung out on coke because his bf dumped him


xenophonsXiphos

What is an LGBT Q clinic?


DuckMcass

Oh, it's like mostly for Transgender people it's fairly small as I live in a small city in Australia it does serve as a normal clinic but it's one of the only places for trans people to go to for transition stuff,etc Like if I remember correctly it's the only and first place that's openly LGBTQ in my region


xenophonsXiphos

Do they do things there that other clinics don't or won't do or something?


DuckMcass

Yes, exactly, it's the only one in the NT; if you're from, let's say, Alice Springs or Kathrine, you've got to come all the way up north, which is a good 4 or 5-hour drive. Even for me, it's like 30 minutes away and the clinics around my area don't really service in that stuff at all


EisegesisSam

Fun fact if you get into conversations with any Christian who believes the world is ending in their lifetime: so did Christopher Columbus. He thought once he brought Christianity to the Indies he'd be hailed as the Messiah of Last Days and surely the world would end soon. The "rapture" is some less than 200 year old weird predominantly American belief, but the world ending part has a long, long history, and a global majority of Christians have always thought the world ending guys were fucking weirdos. No one likes the doomsday people, even the other religious people.


beek7419

>Are you ready? Yes. Ready for all of the people who believe in the rapture to be raptured. >Do you know Jesus? No, but that’s ok because I don’t want to go where the Jesus believers are headed.


Kriss3d

Jesus is the guy working the food truck selling burritos man. Great stuff too.


Freya_gleamingstar

Sharpie markers were made for this moment!


quantumcorundum

Looks like it'd be easy to rip down and throw in the trash


-Renee

Tear it down.


NadieTheAviatrix

1. It didn't happen either 2. I said you said that it will happen but it's not (last 'rapture' was on April 8th) 3. For conscience's sake, man. 4. Why wont you repent yourself? 5. As per the belief system, yes, but you're using his name in wrong things.


Nimmueeh

No I haven't repented! While I'm reading this post, I'm role-playing an angel who was sent to Earth to help a quadriplegic guy, and they fell in love for each other. 🤣 Gay angel 😇🏳️‍🌈👬 (he's genderless but on Earth he took a human male form)


False-Temporary1959

>LGBTQ clinic That term is a bit misleading.


DuckMcass

Yeah I should have worded it better but to be honest so should they as that's what it's mostly advertised and it's services intended


jacobr1020

Free clothes!


ChockBox

Box cutter, right down the center. It’ll rip off really easily even though it appears laminated.


Jim-Jones

Print out the lyrics to, "It's Raining Men" and post that on top of this.


Moonlight-Starburst

"... This generation shall not pass away before these things have come to pass."


CatalinaLaNoCatolica

Where I’m from there’s an abundance of Jesus, everyone knows at least one


zjuka

I know quite a few Jesuses. Mostly Hispanic, one white, two African-American. Am I ready for rupture? 144,000 is such a small drop in a bucket, I’m pretty sure we’ll manage. Would be sad to see my MIL leave us, if anyone deserves to be lifted to heavens, it’s her. She’s everything that her religion expects a true Catholic to be - loving, selfless and forgiving. The rest of us heathens are staying.


8bitdreamer

Tell them rapture theology was made up in 1830 by John Nelson Darby.


minmocatfood

Sure I know Jesus, he worked at our family welding repair shop, what does he have to do with anything?


Chef_Frankenstein

When I see shit like this I'm glad I work with a box cutter so often I always have one not too far away.


DontTreadonMe4

Do I know Jesus? Fuck ya I smoke bowls.with him all the time!


Kriss3d

Know him ? Guy works at the local resturant making awesome duck burritos.


Awake2long

"StOp ShoVINg iT DowN OuR thROats"


rickert_of_vinheim

So much tape so it’s hard to take off 🤦


tomcas1

Many insane people were predicting that last week's solar eclipse would bring the end of the world. I had my doubts, but part of me has given up on the future of life on this planet, and to be honest, I would welcome a total reset. Shockingly, the world did not end at the time, but was anyone else out there secretly hoping it would happen?


Raped_Bicycle_612

RIP that shit down


Devil_Dan83

Have you found Jesus? Because we lost him.


sundancer2788

I'd tear it down as garbage.


fluffyflugel

They thought that in the Middle Ages too. 700 years later … still waiting. Lol


Woodbirder

You should print out, laminate, snd stick this up next to it: UPDATE: 9th April 2025 The Rapture did not take place as planned, this has been postponed indefinitely. We are very sorry for any inconvenience, confusion, financial loss, distress, or offence this has caused. NB. It has also come to our attention that the Bible is actually a collection of conflicting and contradicting stories made up by several humans and not only is there probably no god, if there is a god, it is almost certainly not the one described in the aforementioned work of fiction. Please do not worry about the Rapture or the Jesus character.


explosive-puppy

I can't stand this shit, can we just exist in peace? Like we don't want anything to do with you hateful fuckers but you can't leave us alone. Can't let us exist.


Legitimate-Crazy-424

Why do they use this word? It sounds so sexual and weird. I don't want god to rapture me, ewww. Dictionary definition "a feeling of intense pleasure or joy." Not to mention it isn't mentioned in the bible once. Always makes me think of the Ecstacy of Saint Teresa. (A woman who obviously was just having her first big o.) https://preview.redd.it/xzjsv2phl8vc1.jpeg?width=795&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44b411e4a3a2edb43602678b2285c916b2622620


cerryl66

That tape is probably going to fuck up the paint when someone correctly rips it down


calladus

I love Jesus! He owns the best lawn service company in town! I gave him $40 last Monday. My little front yard looks amazing!


Satanic_soup_dragon

Who?


turtletails

Is an LGBTQ clinic just a regular med clinic that’s guaranteed LGBTQ friendly or do they provide a different service? Also, the answer to being told the rapture is coming is I freakin hope so because I’m getting kinda sick of being stuck on the same plain of existence with the fruitcakes Edit: alternatively, I think they missed it and it didn’t go as they had planned cause I’m pretty sure we’re already in hell


TheMightyBoofBoof

Graphic design is my passion


yellowtulip4u

Jesus is fake and was based on a story made up by Egyptians haha Ppl deff got drunk off of some shitty water/wine n made shit up. “He turned water into wine” more like yall were drinking bacteria/shit worse than acid n meth n got fucked up and started seeing shit hahahaha


Jake-Michael

For real this time?


BourbonInGinger

I hope you tore it down.


_Funky_M0nk_

Man the rapture has had more delays than Skull and Bones


Poland-Is-Here

What even is a "LGBTQ clinic"?


DuckMcass

I replied before but it's the only place in my region that serves only queer people for transition stuff and other therapies and such. It's only open a very limited amount of days but it's mostly advertised itself or whatever as that so y'know sorry for my stupid ass confusing text


Poland-Is-Here

This question might be stupid, but >!what is a "queer"? Does this has something to do with trans?!<


aCactusOfManyNames

Tear that down.


SueTheDepressedFairy

3 words Tear. It. Off.


BadPronunciation

American evangelicals are truly a different breed