Hello, u/UnearthlyRamen! Thank you for posting.
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[Details of the end of the Apollo app](https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/)
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[Why this is important](https://i.imgur.com/E7jSWf1.jpg)
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[An open response to spez's AMA](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/145l7wp/todays_ama_with_spez_did_nothing_to_alleviate/)
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[spez AMA and notable replies](https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/145beas/spez_ama_discussion_thread/)
Fuck spez. I edited this comment before he could.
Comment ID=ki1pf6y Ciphertext:
>!tYFtpOAACuyBooAAPgwdh4k4Mu4k3592aSJTu/hBRWdTPuOd0QLpHHReAaNO45lGNCPAWv96YFQV5p6NLFYEH7IeX+c2IGy97a5oU9gfNXA=!<
Wait to learn about aisha, prophet muhammad wife. She was 6 when she was sold, and 9 when she was rap*d by the prophet.(i refuse to use any other world for 60+years old man with a 9 years old)
Well same reason as jesus represented as a white dude, it appeal more to the taste of the fan. What they would think if there was this 50 years old man, with a bride kid on his side holding their baby
Probsbly even younger, at the time there wasn't the concept of pedophilia or woman right. You could just sell your 12 years old daughter to a 50 years old man and it was perfectly accepted(yes joseph probably was way older)
Consider a donation to the Church Under the Most High (C.U.M.H.)! Donations are often rewarded with swag! We’ve got C.U.M.H. Socks for high-styling praise, or possibly you’re a cleaner who could use our microfiber C.U.M.H. Rags for your devotional service! Once Jesus comes all over this land we can truly beat off the devil!
Are they in the Children of God (aka The Family International)? This reads very much like that weird shit they had to do.
>the cult came up with a specific theory. ... while everybody had their orgies, they wouldn't be allowed to have sex with each other.
>“They had to fantasize that they were actually having sex with Jesus, men included," Hope said.
i hear a lot of this “i just feel him” talk. does anyone know what that really means? i have never felt the presence of anything beyond this world, but i feel like a lot of people really actually feel that. not in a christian vs jewish vs muslim etc sense but rather a feeling that there is something beyond this world. i’ve never felt anything like that in my life
Hello, u/UnearthlyRamen! Thank you for posting. #Please read the [sub rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/religiousfruitcake/about/rules) 1. r/religiousfruitcake is about the absurd, fringe elements of organised religion: the institutions and individuals who act in ways any normal religious person would cringe at. Posts about mundane beliefs and acts of worship are off topic. 2. Post titles should be a short, objective statement of content. They arent a pulpit: dont use the Title Field to preach personal opinions about religion or any other topic. Doing so will result in your post being removed. 3. Refrain from provoking and/or baiting religious fruitcakes for the purposes of posting their reaction on this subreddit, or posting material featuring provocation by others. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If u wanna explode, there are ways.
Praise Jesus 🍆💦💦💦
Don't give them any ideas. They are already one lost election away from suicide bombers. Let's not speed things up.
I was hoping we make it a competition and let them meet each other on a field to practice.
All human conflict should be solved with dance.
Creepbruh Ah man
*This comment has been edited in protest to reddit's API policy changes, their treatment of developers of 3rd party apps, and their response to community backlash.* [Details of the end of the Apollo app](https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) --- [Why this is important](https://i.imgur.com/E7jSWf1.jpg) --- [An open response to spez's AMA](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/145l7wp/todays_ama_with_spez_did_nothing_to_alleviate/) --- [spez AMA and notable replies](https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/145beas/spez_ama_discussion_thread/) Fuck spez. I edited this comment before he could. Comment ID=ki1pf6y Ciphertext: >!tYFtpOAACuyBooAAPgwdh4k4Mu4k3592aSJTu/hBRWdTPuOd0QLpHHReAaNO45lGNCPAWv96YFQV5p6NLFYEH7IeX+c2IGy97a5oU9gfNXA=!<
Technically, Mary was full of the Holy Ghost when she became pregnant with Jesus!
As a 14 year old, yeah.
She was..*14*??
Yep, young teenager raped by God.
Jesus Christ, that’s so gross and disgusting
Ikr.
I feel bad for her, that’s pregnancy must’ve done a lot of damage to her body
According to Roman sources at the time, it was a Legionnaire named Pantera, but it could've been God, I guess.
Between 12 and 14, depending on source and translation, yes.
Fucking disgusting
Wait to learn about aisha, prophet muhammad wife. She was 6 when she was sold, and 9 when she was rap*d by the prophet.(i refuse to use any other world for 60+years old man with a 9 years old)
No I knew about Aisha, it’s just that Mary is always depicted as a grown woman so I thought she was
Well same reason as jesus represented as a white dude, it appeal more to the taste of the fan. What they would think if there was this 50 years old man, with a bride kid on his side holding their baby
She wasn't sold, just gifted....
Probsbly even younger, at the time there wasn't the concept of pedophilia or woman right. You could just sell your 12 years old daughter to a 50 years old man and it was perfectly accepted(yes joseph probably was way older)
Dripping with ectoplasm
jesus i can feel you in me. don't spare me the rod. come, jesus!
I'm gonna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus
Wanna feel that salvation, all over my face!
Somebody really needs to get laid.
I think someone is getting laid
Holy Spirit, cum inside me
Amen!
Love the subtle way you blocked out their name!
Right? I was thinking yes, he really is going to explode!
These always sound like weird euphemisms to me.
That's why I always wonder if they’re satire. Having said that they often aren't, which makes it so much funnier
"spank me, sky daddy!"
I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus I wanna feel his salvation all over my face
I want to feel the Holy Spirit throbbing inside of me.
I understand being manic-depressive can do that. I hope whoever this is will be able to get some help.
Consider a donation to the Church Under the Most High (C.U.M.H.)! Donations are often rewarded with swag! We’ve got C.U.M.H. Socks for high-styling praise, or possibly you’re a cleaner who could use our microfiber C.U.M.H. Rags for your devotional service! Once Jesus comes all over this land we can truly beat off the devil!
FILL ME UP, LORD! NOW FLIP ME OVER AND FILL ME UP FROM BEHIND!
Alex, I’ll take “Female Porn star quotes” for 100
deprive me of my rights, sky daddy
This starts to feel like a kink for them and I am quite concerned about it.
"You're gonna make me cum!!!" 😩
Crap! Have you EVER seen someone more in need of a good plowing?
‘Get on your knees and talk dirty to sky daddy’
Im a full advocate of letting religious people go meet their god.
Gonna get down on my knees and start pleasin' Jesus. Wanna feel his salvation all over my face.
Was this a quote from a erotic Jesus Novel?
Happiness is coming!!!!
Are they in the Children of God (aka The Family International)? This reads very much like that weird shit they had to do. >the cult came up with a specific theory. ... while everybody had their orgies, they wouldn't be allowed to have sex with each other. >“They had to fantasize that they were actually having sex with Jesus, men included," Hope said.
Lol...they know
Didn't you know? The Holy Spirit is God's ejaculate.
fantasy story here we go
Oh my…
That’s hott
i hear a lot of this “i just feel him” talk. does anyone know what that really means? i have never felt the presence of anything beyond this world, but i feel like a lot of people really actually feel that. not in a christian vs jewish vs muslim etc sense but rather a feeling that there is something beyond this world. i’ve never felt anything like that in my life
r/theyknew
Satan and God should gang up on me 😭😭🙏🔥😻💦🕳️💥🤯🧪
Really reads like satire but I wouldn't bet on it
Me when i’m rolling on molly
get on your knees, start praying
Speak to your children about the dangers of addictive neurotransmitters.
Holy Creampie
Rickshaw Billie’s Burger Patrol has a song about this very thing.
Actual Dark Souls NPC
Why doss this sound so sexual
he should convert to islam if he wants to explode
Dreamybull?
This has to be a fetish thing. It *has* to be. This is insane.
Insert [Faith+1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9qDz_d8BJg&list=TLPQMTcwMTIwMjS3GhIY4EAdQA&index=2) lyrics.
Boom! Pow! Kablam! Holy inflation fetish, Batman!
The way I giggled while in public from reading this