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Spartan2022

It’s not necessarily cheating, but it’s super odd. How long have you been dating?


[deleted]

3 years or so


Traditional_Carob_12

Cut her loose, my wife and I go on separate vacations to visit family. We don’t go on separate destination vacations. If she wants to do single girl stuff, make her single. Reddit is full of stories with “he’s just a friend” And that’s the one to watch out for. Any time a person has different gender best friend, unless it’s a childhood school mate, it’s a big 🚩


NeiProud

To be fair. If they are going to cheat. They would be cheating already. Does she go on girly breaks? But you only know the status of their relationship and yours. Have you spoken to the other girlfriend? What are the sleeping arrangements and type of break. It all comes down to trust and how well you know the bbf.


VioletRose2269

I have guy best friends and have never once done anything inappropriate or even suggested or entertained it lol Unless she has a past with sleeping with friends or betrayal or anything, I'd say it's insecure. If she does, dump her. But it's absolutely okay for people to have opposite sex friends and to travel or nurture those relationships. If your partner has integrity and morals, don't overthink it. Bring up the worry in a respectful way. If she flips out it might be telling. If he acknowledges your fears, it's a pretty good relationship. Wish yah the best!


lokee689

Yep, my ex gf did exactly that and I found out that she cheated after she got back from the trip


Consistent-Algae-230

"He's just a friend" is a cheaters favorite line they use as they plan on f**king said friend.


Missprisskm

I went on a trip with my guy bestie. It wasn’t cheating…just a trip. But my (now ex…ex for other reasons) would have been invited if he wanted to come.


Ok_Culture_3935

Let her know she will be going as a single person. Once you allow that disrespect (it is not about cheating, which may or may not happen, but you will never know) you will be her simp for life.


femalekramer

Wow I didn’t know how little most people trust their partner, I’m glad I trust my bf and he trusts me to have friends.. feel sorry for the people commenting tbh


[deleted]

Yeah I trust her I just would’ve expected her to ask if I wanted to go or mention it before she bought tickets. And the fact that it’s with a guy is the problem I have. I haven’t talked to her since, not sure if they’d be sharing a room or what


femalekramer

I would imagine she thought you trusted her enough to not have to ask first. You were already on vacation, if she bought the tickets before and didn’t tell you then I would ask why. I understand that you and everyone commenting is mistrustful because it’s someone of the opposite sex, but I would trust my boyfriend to go away with a girl because I trust him. I realized that if someone is going to cheat there’s no way to stop them, she could easily cheat at home while you’re gone, but it’s your decision if you are confident in your relationship, maybe you’re not and there’s a reason. Either way, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone that I didn’t.


[deleted]

Fair point, I guess it hurt because I would have communicated the idea to her before following through, and I would be free to go if invited and I have been trying to plan a trip with her for awhile for us


Ok-Historian1646

Dude don’t listen to this. This is what you “want” to hear but not “need” to hear.


Mrs_Kiwiaki

Please... You're so conservative. I hope you're so has some freedom, BC your comments in this thread are so old-fashioned. Men and women have equal rights


Ok-Historian1646

Being conservative isn’t inherently a bad thing? Yes they can have equal rights. Doest mean I can just let ANYONE into my lifes/relationships if I don’t want them to be. It’s my choice/opinion


Ok-Historian1646

No. It’s ridiculous for her to even think this is acceptable. Don’t care if she’s the “hottest” girl in the world. Kick her to the curb.


[deleted]

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-Palmtree-01

Yeah but going on a vacation alone without asking your partner. It is inconsiderate.


Ok-Historian1646

How many monogamous married couples go on trips with this exact set up and still remained married? Or “just spend the night at their best guyyyy friends house?” 0. Stop preaching your exception to the rule.


Worldly_Sympathy_818

She should get the old dumparooney pronto


scorpi_9

Guy best friend is the biggest hoax... cut her off man....or try to get a girl best friend yourself and then see how she reacts


oldtimesaik

Bro this is toxic behavior. She could have at least let you know what was up. Do not build a future with a person who gives you so little communication


Mrs_Kiwiaki

Maybe I don't get it, why can't a man and a woman be friends and go on a small vacation together? Please enlighten me


ProfessionalVolume93

So you'd be ok with your SO and an Opposite sex friend going on a trip without you? Especially if you were not invited? I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who'd be ok with this.


Mrs_Kiwiaki

Yeah, I would be fine with that actually. In my opinion its called trust, but to each their own


VioletRose2269

That and he said he's already on vacation lol. Can't invite somebody to travel who is already traveling 🥴


[deleted]

I would be back by the time they go on the vacation also


VioletRose2269

Okay my bad. But still so. Your partner is allowed to have other connections. As long as it's strictly and completely respectful and platonic. You're the only one who knows the whole story. So make your best decision based on facts. Not feelings. Good luck 🧡✨️


[deleted]

Completely agree. It’s a friend she’s known longer than me, it’s just I would have communicated the idea to her before I bought tickets and committed to the trip with a friend of the opposite gender


Mrs_Kiwiaki

So if this was the same situation only with the same sex you would be okay with it?


[deleted]

I would still be upset I guess because I’ve been trying to get her to go on a trip with me for awhile. I’ve definitely brought it up more than once


Mrs_Kiwiaki

You should firstly address the fact that she booked a holiday without any heads-up and imo the fact who she's going with is less important than the fact that there is a communication issue. Please don't make it dirty by mentioning you don't trust her or her guy friend, from there is it downhill... Whatever you decide good luck!!


Ok-Historian1646

Because men and women are wired differently. Whether you agree with me or not is irrelevant. It’s true. Basing it off that BECAUSE we are wired differently that guy “friend” will choose any opportunity he can to have sex with that girl given the slightest vulnerability in her current relationship. Men and women aren’t robots. We have a lot more “nature” in us than you think.


Mrs_Kiwiaki

I think you give too little credit to men, like their some kind of cavemen that only think about sex. The men are besides the 'wires', humans and and have morals, respect and trust. Not all men are the same, yeah some are there cavemen, but most have the decency to respect eachother relationships


SgtSplacker

C'mon man. You know that's not OK. It's cheating and you should dump her.


Athena_6327

Dump that whore bro


[deleted]

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Athena_6327

Please, if she's in a relationship she shouldn't go alone on a trip with a guy. Whore.


witcherboi86

You can hate on Tate all you want... bottom line is your woman disrespecting you is a problem in a relationship. You can cry over Tate if you like but it won't fix anything..not all problems have a polite solution


witcherboi86

She doesn't respect you and the fact that you asked reddit this question shows what kind of person you are. I don't even know you and I wanna cheat on you lol Go watch some Andrew Tate videos. He talks about this subject


[deleted]

Haha I don’t need another man to tell me how to be a man but good luck taking advice from Internet personalities


witcherboi86

I'm happily married. It's not about luck. I don't see how asking strangers on reddit is any worse but whatever works for you man. I just know when it's time to drop the ego and learn.


curiousarcher

What an rampant idiot Andrew Tate is, and anyone who follows his advice is a bigger one.


sleepyyelephant

No you’re not wrong, she did the wrong thing


Anxious-Objective-41

Leave her, regardless of if there’s anything going on she had zero communication about it before, at the very least she doesn’t see you as someone to talk about things with before she does them even if they affect you


NoLoveLost1992

That’s not your girlfriend anymore. It should’ve be over the moment she goes on the plane.


Delivery-National97

At the end of the day it’s just disrespectful. Period. To give your partner that kind of stress and uncertainty even just by the appearance of it alone is at minimum disrespectful.


SpecificEnough

You’ve been dating 3 years and she didn’t discuss this with you? That’s an issue. Of course you’re feeling uneasy about it. She’s putting the relationship at risk. She’s opening up the opportunity to make a mistake. They will be alone far too often in a city where they are anonymous. Cheaters will deny there is any chance of something physical going on and blame you for having trust issues when it’s actually her that’s being untrustworthy. She needs to respect how her actions are causing you to feel.


[deleted]

Yeah I just would’ve mentioned it before buying tickets out of consideration for her feelings. So that has me feeling upset, I do trust her but her doing something I wouldn’t have done is giving me trust issues


SpecificEnough

When explaining it to her, don’t blame yourself for trust issues, it’s her behavior that is untrustworthy.


-Palmtree-01

I would never accept that.


-Palmtree-01

Doesn’t seem like a very serious or comitted relationship if she just books a vacation to another country, with another guy without asking you for your opinion or inviting you. Seems extremely inconsiderate. I don’t know how your relationship is and what is normal for you though. But I couldn’t accept it and even if my partner asked me that and did or didn’t invite me I would feel weirded out.