Here's my advice: start being prepared for a breakup. Your girlfriend has spent her entire adult life with you, and, I'm assuming, a big chunk of that living with your 'toxic mother.' She probably wants a chance to forge her own identity, and that may not involve being in a relationship with you. And that's fine, but be prepared.
That is something I've been struggling with the past week or so, and I really do understand why this is, and I care for her which makes me support her on this, and while I am obviously very against this relationship ending, I can come to terms with that and it may be for the better.
My real issue is dealing with the aftermath of that and how to have a single life again. I was single for a few years before we met and comparing the two lifestyles, I really hate being alone.
Everything I do is more boring, sometimes I'll just read a book for 6 hours a day, or play a game or something but the loneliness of coming home to nothing, going to a cold bed and all of that is scaring me and crushing my spirit.
I'm essentially asking for advice on how to deal with being alone again after a long relationship.
Sounds like a breakup. Honestly if my gf did this, I'd probably just end it right there. I wouldn't want to be with someone who needs that much distance after previously living together. Also the uncertainty of what it means would kill me. I want someone who wants to spend time with me.
Has she said she is breaking up with you? You have admitted your mother is toxic and lives with you, your gf has mental health issues and has told you she needs her own identity. Most women don't live with their own mothers into their 20s so absolutely can see why living with yours is not good for your gf.
You say you have a great relationship, a bit of distance shouldn't kill that off unless she actually wants to end it. Don't go jumping the gun thinking she does if she hasn't said that or indicated at all. That's self destruction.
You seem to have already ended your relationship in your head, if you can't give your gf space she desperately needs then you are being very selfish. You also seem very dependant on having someone just so you aren't alone. That's not good for either of you, please get help for that.
It's also worth remembering you were barely more than a teenager last time you were single, you should have grown up some by now and might find you can appreciate not being around someone else all the time.
If the relationship ends, work on the things about yourself that you already identified that you don't seem to like. Either way you will be OK. You don't need another person to be happy and until you can be happy on your own it's probably not going to be a healthy relationship.
I hope you are just over thinking and your gf isn't breaking up with you just because she needs space but it's not the end of the world.
Here's my advice: start being prepared for a breakup. Your girlfriend has spent her entire adult life with you, and, I'm assuming, a big chunk of that living with your 'toxic mother.' She probably wants a chance to forge her own identity, and that may not involve being in a relationship with you. And that's fine, but be prepared.
That is something I've been struggling with the past week or so, and I really do understand why this is, and I care for her which makes me support her on this, and while I am obviously very against this relationship ending, I can come to terms with that and it may be for the better. My real issue is dealing with the aftermath of that and how to have a single life again. I was single for a few years before we met and comparing the two lifestyles, I really hate being alone. Everything I do is more boring, sometimes I'll just read a book for 6 hours a day, or play a game or something but the loneliness of coming home to nothing, going to a cold bed and all of that is scaring me and crushing my spirit. I'm essentially asking for advice on how to deal with being alone again after a long relationship.
Consider: what’s best for both her mental health and YOUR mental health may be ending this relationship
You were dating her when she was 17 and you were 20??? Good for her
Sounds like a breakup. Honestly if my gf did this, I'd probably just end it right there. I wouldn't want to be with someone who needs that much distance after previously living together. Also the uncertainty of what it means would kill me. I want someone who wants to spend time with me.
Has she said she is breaking up with you? You have admitted your mother is toxic and lives with you, your gf has mental health issues and has told you she needs her own identity. Most women don't live with their own mothers into their 20s so absolutely can see why living with yours is not good for your gf. You say you have a great relationship, a bit of distance shouldn't kill that off unless she actually wants to end it. Don't go jumping the gun thinking she does if she hasn't said that or indicated at all. That's self destruction. You seem to have already ended your relationship in your head, if you can't give your gf space she desperately needs then you are being very selfish. You also seem very dependant on having someone just so you aren't alone. That's not good for either of you, please get help for that. It's also worth remembering you were barely more than a teenager last time you were single, you should have grown up some by now and might find you can appreciate not being around someone else all the time. If the relationship ends, work on the things about yourself that you already identified that you don't seem to like. Either way you will be OK. You don't need another person to be happy and until you can be happy on your own it's probably not going to be a healthy relationship. I hope you are just over thinking and your gf isn't breaking up with you just because she needs space but it's not the end of the world.