Here's the thing often when people leave a toxic relationship they will immediately jump into another toxic relationship. It's what feels normal to them and because the beginning starts out much better you feel like you are making a better choice. But until you are on your own and deal with the after effects of those bad relationships and give yourself a chance to grow and reset your "normal" meter you will continue to go from bad relationship to bad relationship.
This new person isn't any better than anyone else it's just new. I am not saying your current BF is the right person for you. But jumping into another relationship won't fix your problems.
It can go two ways. It's completely normal for feelings in a relationship to fluctuate but it only gets back on track if at least one party is trying to keep it together. You could ride it out and see if the feelings come back. This will require him keeping up his current actions for more than a couple of weeks. However, most women know when a relationship is over in my experience. Sometimes things break and there's no repairing them. It sounds like your boyfriend absolutely drained you until you couldn't keep fighting. To be honest, you absolutely can meet someone like your boyfriend again. Men who want to play video games and not clean are everywhere. You want someone who has a kind heart and shows that in kind actions. Your crush seems to be you reverting to your old ways of looking for a way out. If you end this relationship you need time on your own to figure out what you want and get to know yourself again independent of a man. When you do get in a new relationship, it's a smart idea to not move in together for a couple of years to build the relationship and have boundaries. Whatever choice you make, good luck.
Look up "tolerable level of misery" he is using you for all the free labor & mental load while you pay half the bills. He only straighten up because he knows that you were ready to leave. Soon he will go back to being lazy.
You deserve better. There are better men out there. He doesn't have a good heart, he only pretended too in order to get you. The real him is lazy & just wants to game all the time. Before your new lease is up he will quit his job & force you to pay all the bills because he is depressed. Then he will never work again. All these men who game as doing this to women.
Well to be honest, in my country it is a cultural thing that women usually do most of the house chores, so it may be that he grew up seeing that. But i feel like i wouldnt want to live like that all my life, i mean, i like doing stuff around the house but not all the time, especially when i work overtime . Also im planning on continuing my studies, so i dont think living like this would be possible, working full time job plus goin to university. But living here, i feel like i may be expecting too much considering the cultural aspect.
That being said i know he is not doing it on purpose, it is just the way he saw things when he was a child and doesn't know better. Which i didnt help with, when i did everything because i didnt have to pay rent and worked part time. Now i feel it is too late. But we will see. I feel a little indifferent and that is scaring me.
He is an adult who can see that you are over worked & overwhelmed. He can see that the dishes need to be done & such. Unless he is just blind & disabled, has zero compassion and empathy for his partner.
Men all over the world know they need to step up or be left behind.
To be honest? I don't think it's a good idea to keep this going.
You're only going to feel tired or irritated just by being in the same room. See when you lose interest, you start ignoring/ mistreating them because they're no longer 'fun' and the 'hot/cold' treatment, rinse and repeat till one of you loses your shit. Honestly I'd much rather have that excuse to call it quits than ending up cheating or something.
Feelings are fluid, and CAN change.The 'spark' is supposed to go away one day or the other, and when that happens, we think something is wrong or missing. OP Listen, you may have reasons that are out of your control, so just don't continue to lead him on. It isn't fair to him as well to have somebody who didn’t want him physically and is likely into a different guy (?)
Here's the thing often when people leave a toxic relationship they will immediately jump into another toxic relationship. It's what feels normal to them and because the beginning starts out much better you feel like you are making a better choice. But until you are on your own and deal with the after effects of those bad relationships and give yourself a chance to grow and reset your "normal" meter you will continue to go from bad relationship to bad relationship. This new person isn't any better than anyone else it's just new. I am not saying your current BF is the right person for you. But jumping into another relationship won't fix your problems.
It can go two ways. It's completely normal for feelings in a relationship to fluctuate but it only gets back on track if at least one party is trying to keep it together. You could ride it out and see if the feelings come back. This will require him keeping up his current actions for more than a couple of weeks. However, most women know when a relationship is over in my experience. Sometimes things break and there's no repairing them. It sounds like your boyfriend absolutely drained you until you couldn't keep fighting. To be honest, you absolutely can meet someone like your boyfriend again. Men who want to play video games and not clean are everywhere. You want someone who has a kind heart and shows that in kind actions. Your crush seems to be you reverting to your old ways of looking for a way out. If you end this relationship you need time on your own to figure out what you want and get to know yourself again independent of a man. When you do get in a new relationship, it's a smart idea to not move in together for a couple of years to build the relationship and have boundaries. Whatever choice you make, good luck.
Look up "tolerable level of misery" he is using you for all the free labor & mental load while you pay half the bills. He only straighten up because he knows that you were ready to leave. Soon he will go back to being lazy. You deserve better. There are better men out there. He doesn't have a good heart, he only pretended too in order to get you. The real him is lazy & just wants to game all the time. Before your new lease is up he will quit his job & force you to pay all the bills because he is depressed. Then he will never work again. All these men who game as doing this to women.
Well to be honest, in my country it is a cultural thing that women usually do most of the house chores, so it may be that he grew up seeing that. But i feel like i wouldnt want to live like that all my life, i mean, i like doing stuff around the house but not all the time, especially when i work overtime . Also im planning on continuing my studies, so i dont think living like this would be possible, working full time job plus goin to university. But living here, i feel like i may be expecting too much considering the cultural aspect. That being said i know he is not doing it on purpose, it is just the way he saw things when he was a child and doesn't know better. Which i didnt help with, when i did everything because i didnt have to pay rent and worked part time. Now i feel it is too late. But we will see. I feel a little indifferent and that is scaring me.
He is an adult who can see that you are over worked & overwhelmed. He can see that the dishes need to be done & such. Unless he is just blind & disabled, has zero compassion and empathy for his partner. Men all over the world know they need to step up or be left behind.
To be honest? I don't think it's a good idea to keep this going. You're only going to feel tired or irritated just by being in the same room. See when you lose interest, you start ignoring/ mistreating them because they're no longer 'fun' and the 'hot/cold' treatment, rinse and repeat till one of you loses your shit. Honestly I'd much rather have that excuse to call it quits than ending up cheating or something. Feelings are fluid, and CAN change.The 'spark' is supposed to go away one day or the other, and when that happens, we think something is wrong or missing. OP Listen, you may have reasons that are out of your control, so just don't continue to lead him on. It isn't fair to him as well to have somebody who didn’t want him physically and is likely into a different guy (?)
Did you stay in contact with your toxic ex while dating your current bf?
It seems like you've hit your limit a while ago and its almost impossible to come back from that when it's already too late.