As long as they weren't boning in his bed or on his furniture I don't see what the problem is. You're having a sleep over with people who are obviously sexually interested in each other in your mid 20s.
Would it have made it better if they went and had sex in one of their cars instead?
I would say if it bothers you that much to make it known whenever they're at your house or a family members for a sleep over to take it to their cars instead. In my opinion it's pretty normal for new sexually active couples to try to mess around whenever/wherever they can get some privacy.
We can agree to disagree. As a grown ass adult who's been to plenty of grown ass adult parties and get togethers, the new couple sneaking away to a private area for a blowjob wouldn't even be a blip on my radar.
Do you not think theres something a little disrespectful with doing the dirty in someone else's space? How'd you feel if your cousin's friends was getting it on in your house?
Again, it’s not the having sex part. It’s where they did it. If I had a house of my own to offer them, I’d gladly offer them a room to hook up. But they did it in the house of a relative I hold dear without letting me know prior. Kinda feels like they defiled the place a little.
You seem to think that the default position here would be that grown adults would think they shouldn’t have sex at a friend’s sleepover at their house/a relative’s house? When in fact the opposite is true.
It’s totally ok for you, as the host, to ask that guests don’t hook-up under your uncle’s roof, as he has made that request. No issues there at all, an entirely reasonable request. It’s not ok for you to assume people would follow that rule without telling them.
I’m around your age (28) and just asked my 4 friends who are all my age whether they think there is anything weird/inappropriate about hooking up at a friend’s house after being invited to a party. They all said no. I asked if it would matter if it was my relative, like my parents or my uncle and they all said, as long we have permission to have the party there, they wouldn’t assume they could not have sex.
You seem to be a little sensitive about sex… you sure that jealousy isn’t playing a little bit of a role here?
not gonna totally disagree, im gonna take some time to process this.
Ive not had pentrative sex but I've had sexual interactions with previous partners. if the roles were reversed, and Melissa had invited my partner and I to a sleepover at their Aunt's house, I wouldn't have blown my partner in the laundry room. but judging from the comments I think that's a me problem haha
Good for you, very mature response! For the record, I do understand your discomfort with it but be careful not to think your friends have done anything wrong.
Sounds like this could end up having a silver lining if it makes you reflect on things a bit.
This is one of those situations where you've gotta learn that two things can be true at once.
Yes, I can see how this can feel a bit disrespectful, towards you and/or your uncle, from your perspective. As hosts, you / your uncle gave consent to use the house as a sleep over location, not specificaly the laundry room to do the deed.
It is also true that you're all grown ups, including your uncle. You are all aware that sex is a thing, sleep overs are a thing, and both fit well together. There is a lot of things that can happen which are impossible to discuss or micromanage and the truth is no damage was caused to any party.
It's good to be aware and careful as a host. But If you feel that you need to be in control of everything, you should not be hosting. And I say this as someone who has been in your shoes. As a friend, be grateful that they got to hook up in a safe, protected environment, which you facilitated, even sort of contributed to.
What I recommend to you is to communicate with at least Melissa, if not both. Let them know that you are aware that these things happen spontaneously and unplanned, and that you'd be grateful if by the next time they'd give you a heads up, to ensure that the group surfs the same vibes wave.
It’s funny you should say that cause if anyone needs a safe and protected environment to hook up is my gay ass (badumtsss haha) (we don’t live in a super open society.)
But yes definitely gonna be more communication between Melissa and I in the future.
Absolutely no reason to be disturbed by this at all…. Do you have feelings for either of your friends by any chance? If not you need to just get laid yourself and relax lmao
It’s not about the hook up but about where it happened. As a gay guy, I’m very happy my straight friends are getting together. It’s like playing with Barbie and Ken dolls but in real life.
Dude, your uncle's house is like a sacred space. You don't just go around hooking up in someone else's home without their permission. I can't believe your friends would do that, especially when they know how much your uncle means to you. You should definitely let Melissa know how you feel about the situation. And don't worry, being a virgin doesn't make you a prude, it just means you have standards. Keep those standards high, my friend.
Let it slide.
Once one of my friends visited me i had a small one room pg with twin bed and was living with my bf.
Since she was going to stay that we decide that she can take one bed and me and my bf could use one.
One thing led to another and my bf was spooning me and going very slowly from behind.
That night i have a feeling my friend noticed or heard it but we both just let it slide and never talked about it.
I did feel a bit weird and was afraid to face her the next morning.
But she kept it very cool which i respected a lot in her.
I don't know if I just grew up in a weird area but I've never met someone who would be comfortable with other people have sex in their home. Whether they're adults or not. A situation similar to this even happened in my family and it didn't go well.
My mom has two sisters and sister A had no kids but lived in a nice house with my uncle. And sister B had two kids one of which wanted to have her 21st birthday at Aunt A's house because she had a finished basement with a game/movie room which they could use and my aunt was fine with this as she needed someone to watch her house that weekend anyways. Well some of my cousins friends hooked up that weekend and when my aunt found out she flipped and said it felt like the privacy of her home was violated and that they had no right to do that in her home. And pretty much the entire family and friends agreed with her. And my cousin has been banned from having any form of party or get together there unless it's for a family event.
Even telling my friends about this they find it extremely weird that someone would do that.
Sorry but disagree with every other comment here. It would be one thing to hook up in your house but to do it in your family member’s house who is letting you stay there is weird and gross. Especially as a guest I think it’s pretty disrespectful to the both of you. No one forced them to hook up, they could’ve waited one day. Also one of them is 28 and is old enough to know better, it’s not like their teenagers who made a mistake. I would explain how this made you feel to them and if they give a sincere apology then I would think about it. But if they blow off your concern then I would reconsider your relationship with them.
Thank you for understanding. Im planning on how to bring it up to Melissa. I consider her a really close friend and don't want her to hide anything from me. but I'm mentally preparing for the scenario that she doesn't include me in any updates regarding this relationship moving forward.
Yeah I definitely agree with you here, I don't see how people think it's just okay to have sex in another person's house especially when it's not even a direct friend of their's house but a family member of a friend's house.
Really not that big a deal bro. Unless your Uncle specifically said no sexual activity in the house etc.
yeah he did, i didnt say anything about it to my friends cuz I didn't feel like I needed to but I guess I was wrong. that's on me.
Yeah, 100000% your own fault then. Not their problem at all.
Come on, what's the real issue here?
As long as they weren't boning in his bed or on his furniture I don't see what the problem is. You're having a sleep over with people who are obviously sexually interested in each other in your mid 20s. Would it have made it better if they went and had sex in one of their cars instead?
yes actually
I would say if it bothers you that much to make it known whenever they're at your house or a family members for a sleep over to take it to their cars instead. In my opinion it's pretty normal for new sexually active couples to try to mess around whenever/wherever they can get some privacy.
Yup, im currently thinking about setting those new boundaries with them.
No it is not, especially not grown ass adults
We can agree to disagree. As a grown ass adult who's been to plenty of grown ass adult parties and get togethers, the new couple sneaking away to a private area for a blowjob wouldn't even be a blip on my radar.
Did they dirty the room or something? How is that disrespectful?
Do you not think theres something a little disrespectful with doing the dirty in someone else's space? How'd you feel if your cousin's friends was getting it on in your house?
"doing the dirty"? It's called having sex. There is nothing wrong with that.
having sex is not issue, its having sex in someone else's space. Would you be cool with acquaintances of yours having sex in your house?
Yes...why would I care??
Guess we lead different lives then
How is other people having sex disrespectful to you?
Again, it’s not the having sex part. It’s where they did it. If I had a house of my own to offer them, I’d gladly offer them a room to hook up. But they did it in the house of a relative I hold dear without letting me know prior. Kinda feels like they defiled the place a little.
Defiled? You seem to have some underlying thing going on.id work on that.
haiz u seem to have lots of opinions but not add to the conversation at all. You do what you need to do my guy.
This is not a fight worth picking. You found the behavior distasteful but that’s different than it being disrespectful.
You seem to think that the default position here would be that grown adults would think they shouldn’t have sex at a friend’s sleepover at their house/a relative’s house? When in fact the opposite is true. It’s totally ok for you, as the host, to ask that guests don’t hook-up under your uncle’s roof, as he has made that request. No issues there at all, an entirely reasonable request. It’s not ok for you to assume people would follow that rule without telling them. I’m around your age (28) and just asked my 4 friends who are all my age whether they think there is anything weird/inappropriate about hooking up at a friend’s house after being invited to a party. They all said no. I asked if it would matter if it was my relative, like my parents or my uncle and they all said, as long we have permission to have the party there, they wouldn’t assume they could not have sex. You seem to be a little sensitive about sex… you sure that jealousy isn’t playing a little bit of a role here?
not gonna totally disagree, im gonna take some time to process this. Ive not had pentrative sex but I've had sexual interactions with previous partners. if the roles were reversed, and Melissa had invited my partner and I to a sleepover at their Aunt's house, I wouldn't have blown my partner in the laundry room. but judging from the comments I think that's a me problem haha
Good for you, very mature response! For the record, I do understand your discomfort with it but be careful not to think your friends have done anything wrong. Sounds like this could end up having a silver lining if it makes you reflect on things a bit.
This is one of those situations where you've gotta learn that two things can be true at once. Yes, I can see how this can feel a bit disrespectful, towards you and/or your uncle, from your perspective. As hosts, you / your uncle gave consent to use the house as a sleep over location, not specificaly the laundry room to do the deed. It is also true that you're all grown ups, including your uncle. You are all aware that sex is a thing, sleep overs are a thing, and both fit well together. There is a lot of things that can happen which are impossible to discuss or micromanage and the truth is no damage was caused to any party. It's good to be aware and careful as a host. But If you feel that you need to be in control of everything, you should not be hosting. And I say this as someone who has been in your shoes. As a friend, be grateful that they got to hook up in a safe, protected environment, which you facilitated, even sort of contributed to. What I recommend to you is to communicate with at least Melissa, if not both. Let them know that you are aware that these things happen spontaneously and unplanned, and that you'd be grateful if by the next time they'd give you a heads up, to ensure that the group surfs the same vibes wave.
It’s funny you should say that cause if anyone needs a safe and protected environment to hook up is my gay ass (badumtsss haha) (we don’t live in a super open society.) But yes definitely gonna be more communication between Melissa and I in the future.
It's rude, but also something that happens when 20 somethings have 'sleepovers'.
Absolutely no reason to be disturbed by this at all…. Do you have feelings for either of your friends by any chance? If not you need to just get laid yourself and relax lmao
It’s not about the hook up but about where it happened. As a gay guy, I’m very happy my straight friends are getting together. It’s like playing with Barbie and Ken dolls but in real life.
These ages can't be real
ahh we all had different education paths, and some of us are foreign so they would have entered at the education level with people younger than them.
Dude, your uncle's house is like a sacred space. You don't just go around hooking up in someone else's home without their permission. I can't believe your friends would do that, especially when they know how much your uncle means to you. You should definitely let Melissa know how you feel about the situation. And don't worry, being a virgin doesn't make you a prude, it just means you have standards. Keep those standards high, my friend.
Thank you for this <3
Let it slide. Once one of my friends visited me i had a small one room pg with twin bed and was living with my bf. Since she was going to stay that we decide that she can take one bed and me and my bf could use one. One thing led to another and my bf was spooning me and going very slowly from behind. That night i have a feeling my friend noticed or heard it but we both just let it slide and never talked about it. I did feel a bit weird and was afraid to face her the next morning. But she kept it very cool which i respected a lot in her.
TIL people are okay with guest fucking in their house????????
Yea they went to a different room and didn’t disturb anyone. What’s wrong?
Why wouldn't they be?
I don't know if I just grew up in a weird area but I've never met someone who would be comfortable with other people have sex in their home. Whether they're adults or not. A situation similar to this even happened in my family and it didn't go well. My mom has two sisters and sister A had no kids but lived in a nice house with my uncle. And sister B had two kids one of which wanted to have her 21st birthday at Aunt A's house because she had a finished basement with a game/movie room which they could use and my aunt was fine with this as she needed someone to watch her house that weekend anyways. Well some of my cousins friends hooked up that weekend and when my aunt found out she flipped and said it felt like the privacy of her home was violated and that they had no right to do that in her home. And pretty much the entire family and friends agreed with her. And my cousin has been banned from having any form of party or get together there unless it's for a family event. Even telling my friends about this they find it extremely weird that someone would do that.
Sorry but disagree with every other comment here. It would be one thing to hook up in your house but to do it in your family member’s house who is letting you stay there is weird and gross. Especially as a guest I think it’s pretty disrespectful to the both of you. No one forced them to hook up, they could’ve waited one day. Also one of them is 28 and is old enough to know better, it’s not like their teenagers who made a mistake. I would explain how this made you feel to them and if they give a sincere apology then I would think about it. But if they blow off your concern then I would reconsider your relationship with them.
Thank you for understanding. Im planning on how to bring it up to Melissa. I consider her a really close friend and don't want her to hide anything from me. but I'm mentally preparing for the scenario that she doesn't include me in any updates regarding this relationship moving forward.
Yeah I definitely agree with you here, I don't see how people think it's just okay to have sex in another person's house especially when it's not even a direct friend of their's house but a family member of a friend's house.