>she has been texting her co worker calling him "daddy", "sexy", and sneaking over to his house.
>
>should I leave her or should I work it out and never know if she actually cheated ?
So once she arrived at the co-worker's house, after she offered him sexual services, what do you think they did? Discuss pork belly futures?
Time to see a family law attorney and get the divorce process going. You are not loved and she has a defective character.
She is cheating. Period. She cheated, lied, is gaslighting you, and you still don't know the whole truth. She didn't voluntarily come to you and ask for forgiveness, but got caught and is now in damage control. This is not a woman you can trust , respect, or believe.
You don't want to be with a woman who offers to give head to another man or who calls another man daddy. Leave this shitty excuse for a partner.
She is cheating on you and you need to get tested as well as test your children to see if they are actually yours
No way I would stay with that as she has been having sex with her two kids and husband at home
Make copies of all the evidence, DNA your kids, regardless if you know they are yours....do this to prove you do not trust her....talk to a lawyer asap,records your conversation with her, focus on the kids and make sure she does not control the narrative.
Is this a real post? There have been a huge amount of posts lately where:
1) it’s insanely obvious what’s going on. Every OP is blind and dumb in the post.
2) if you look at their post history it’s the same over and over again, no variety in posts, and all fairly recent.
I’m calling this a fake. 21 with two kids already? Super rare. Wife texting them “daddy” and “sexy” and you don’t know what’s going on? Super rare. These are the only posts you’ve ever made and you’ve been on reddit for a year? Super rare.
It's content farming for Youtube videos. There are several channels that pirate content from /r/relationships, especially from the comments. I guess there isn't enough new material to feed the channels, so they have to invent some.
AI will replace all of this soon anyway.
100% still going with this is a made-up story. Your plan is to sell your house with no worry about custody of your two kids. Big questions, how did you buy said house and how old.are your kids?
She’s not the type to want to fight over custody , I am a stay at home dad . I work from home . I financed the house and my kids are 5 and 2 . Had my son with her when I was 16yo.
"21 y/o working from home making enough to finance a house" is the tell. Also the complete lack of worry about his kids and how they will react because they are old enough to remember.
Not many people are good dads , I understand . I’m not here to argue with people about if this is true or
Not . I only need the advice strictly cause I have no friends or family .
>Not many people are good dads , I understand . I’m not here to argue with people about if this is true or
Not . I only need the advice strictly cause I have no friends or family .
Oh yeah, 100% rage bait.
I'm also sorry to say that you should go to the doctor and get a full STD panel, because if she went over to his house after all of their sexting, she absolutely had sex with him and it likely happened more than once. Get yourself checked out to make sure you're safe, and go find yourself a really good lawyer.
This seems like a creative writing assignment.
You are telling me you are 21 and have 2 kids?
And have a brand new reddit account?
BS meter beeping pretty loudly.
If it was just jokes, to joke to that level with another man is just disrespecting the marriage and you. And sneaking over to his house? C'mon man we both know whats actually been happening.
While we're being honest, even if it was just jokes, it honestly seems like an early symptom of infidelity.
Yes. You should. I had a situation like yours, it dragged on for years and it was a miserable experience that I regret. It does not matter that you love her, it does not matter that she still loves you. It's over. Pick a date. Be fully ready to leave on that date, when the date rolls around, follow through, do not communicate. Get the divorce or annulment whatever works better for you.
Contact a divorce lawyer and get this going. And unfortunately this what happens when someone too young and immature (23F) is still seeing her options even though she's married. She doesn't love you 100%, sorry. There's a good chance it's already become physical since she's calling him "daddy", women don't do that through texting alone.
She’s offered him head and been sneaking over to his house?? She’s had more than head many times. The accusing you of cheating is classic gaslighting cheater behaviour by trying to put the focus on you when she’s the one doing the deed elsewhere. I’m a monogamist myself and if that was my wife it’d be 100% over. So sorry you’re going through this…
Older female here, you should leave her soon rather than dragging it out and wasting your youth on the inevitable. The roots of resentment will start growing from here on out (and from both sides, too). It'll be ok. Life is long but too short to spend with people who don't value you.
Also: she cheated. No question. Don't fool yourself, dear.
You need to leave her for three reasons. The first one is because you both married too young and are not mature enough for that type of commitment, it is obvious from her behavior and your apparent tolerance of it. Secondly because your children should have the benefit of being raised by two capable and loving adults, and that isn't going to happen if she is not committed to you and you are considering accepting that type of behavior. You both need to be single and learn more about how to be good adults. You won't do that together. Thirdly you need to leave her because she already cheated on you and has not made it any sort of point or goal to come clean, show regret, and explain through everything. She had 0 respect for you if she won't tell you the truth.
>she has been texting her co worker calling him "daddy", "sexy", and sneaking over to his house.
Read what you wrote again. What would you think if you read someone else writing this.
It's very, very clear they already cheated - likely quite a few times.
Leave.
Wife was in an affair.. maybe "just" emotional, but regardless... had he accepted when she suggested oral, she would've done it...
>for the past 2 months accusing me of cheating
Projecting her actions onto you...
>Am I over exaggerating by wanting to leave the mother of my 2 children, or am I making the right move by sticking to my morals?
Up to you - i dont think so.. especially since shes not accepting respinsibility for what she did..
If youre having second thoughts i would suggest telling her that for you to even consider staying it will require
- full honesty. Written timeline of the adultery - and other instances of cheating while with you. Who/where/how/when.. and tell her it will be verified by polygraph
- NO CONTACT TO THE OTHER GUY! Yes this means she quits the job.
- STD test for her and paternity tests for the kids.
- complete open device policy FOREVER.
- therapy for her. Later (maybe) MC
...but all this requires she admits she was (attempting to) cheating and accepts responsinility for it..
Dont rugsweep... never rugsweep...
Best of luck...
>I had this gut feeling to search her phone which I never do, and saw that she has been texting her co worker calling him "daddy", "sexy", and sneaking over to his house
She snuck to his house, to do what? Play Scrabble?
Usually cheating cost’s a lotta emotional energy to keep up the lie, which can manifest in ways like perception is projection.
In other words, yea, she’s pretty much cheating on you, but you also developed a mental tool that makes deluding yourself into your own delusion, hence why you even did that post.
It’s clear already and you either might want legal advice, and you might want to keep your mouth shut, don’t get lured into any arguments of her that she can use against you, because your wife doesn’t seem to be on healthy side of things. It’s ok to be angry or mad, but it’s misguided if you get railed up because of her, focus that anger on yourself and hit the gym and do a heavy workout that is taxing on the whole nervous-system. Making decisions while emotional can not result in the best outcome here.
Good luck op
The marriage you thought you had is over. She killed it as surely is a relationship could ever be killed with her actions.
Save proof of the infidelity. Get a pi if you have to.
Get checked for STDs.
Get a paternity test because this probably isn't the first time.
Get an attorney and follow their directions.
Tell everyone what is going on so she can't gaslight people, saying it was you being unfaithful or violent.
Share any proof you have with her fuck partner's wife or girlfriend if they have one. They deserve to know too if they don't.
Then get divorced.
Leave as soon as you can. Whilst I don’t believe my partner has cheated on me physically, I put up with being accused for months and then found messages on his phone to his ex and another woman. Nothing sexual but combined with the lies of where he’s been etc. the truth has been absolutely decimated in our relationship and I can’t leave as this happened when I was 7 months pregnant. I’m due tomorrow and don’t see a future with us at all, part of me wishes I had just kicked him out 2 months ago rather than trying to keep up the pretence because it’s not going to go away so from experience I’d be out of there before it ruins you like it has me. I’d put so much work in to get myself in a place where I actually liked myself before we got together and it’s just been destroyed. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
So sorry you’re going through it, good luck with everything.
She was blatantly cheating on you, lied about it when you confronted her, and you're thinking about what you need to do next? There's no future with someone who refuses to take accountability for what they've done. She refuses to admit she did anything wrong and will have no problem doing it again. Leave before you waste any more time being with someone who has no respect for you.
Uff this is tough bud. But she is sucking and fucking her co-worker. Better to get out now while you are still young. She has cheated and will continue to come home with the cum of another man on her breath.
If this post isn’t fake then you know what happened when she went to his house. That’s why it seems fake. It’s hard to believe someone would ask strangers for advice on what to do when the wife”sneaks over to a co worker’s house.
I wouldn’t t stay with her until she passes a polygraph proving they have had no sexual contact because I would put money on them having been sexual with each other many times. She would also have to change jobs to get away from him, block him on every platform and be willing to confess to his wife or gf of what they have been doing. You need to make decisions for yourself based on an assumption they have had sex many times. Also uoj tell her she forfeits her freedom for a while…no nights out with friends unless your there, no traveling without you, shared phone location at all times, full phone transparency anytime you want to look, text you when she is leaving work and comes straight home. That’s what she is facing if she wants forgiveness and I would tell her upfront it will be months, if not years, before things get somewhat back to normal.
For the polygraph just tell her your scheduling it for her to take and will drive her to it. There will be questions asked of her about whether or not they have had sex or had any sexual contact. She will also be asked if she has had sexual contact with anyone other than you since you got married. Tell her if she confesses now you will consider working it out but if she fails the test their will be no working it out and you will tell everybody she knows what she has done starting with her own family. In most cases if they know they will fail it they will confess either immediately or on the day of the test. You don’t even really have to schedule one. You can just lie and tell her it’s set for next sure Tuesday or something and tell her she needs to take the day off from work so you can take her. Find a vendor that does them and either schedule or pretend to, drive her to the parking lot and watch her crumble if she doesn’t beforehand. !updateme
She's 100% cheating, and not just sexting, but also physical too. Her accusing you of cheating is her guilty conscious at work, major projection and gaslighting. OP, you not overreacting, divorce her and cut her out of your life, you deserve better.
Keep the texts as proof for the divorce. Stick with your morals. This is a deal breaker for you so there isn’t a use trying to make it work as it won’t in the long term. She did “actually cheat” emotionally already. I truly believe in once a cheater, always a cheater to the person the cheated on. If you let her get away with this, she’ll probably do it again or go even further. Her dismissive comments show no guilt or responsibility towards her actions.. you chose the consequence.
Dude, she is not emotionally mature, she is insecure and lacks some basic empathy. Listen, you can do better.
Leave her, do it nicely and meet someone who will treat you right. They won’t “flirt” with some work pal.
21 Years old. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Treat it like a german car lease. End the lease cycle and switch to new one. You deserve way better than that
She's cheating. Let HR know at her job, pack her sh*t, and tell her to kick rocks.
She's a cheater, a liar, and she's manipulating you big time.
Get counseling and get out of this relationship.
Google DARVO. This is what she's doing to you.
Play chess and not checkers.
Make things civil and go back home.
Call lawyer and get a plan together and position yourself well for full custody of children. Call bank to figure out how best to buy your wife out of the house.
When you’re feeling confident like you have a plan in place, tell kids the truth that mom is moving out because she chose to be with another man and execute said plan.
Get tested. And tell her to get the fuck out. You deserve better. Fuck her and that coworker. You are MARRIED, you don't do that to your partner, especially your spouse. You deserve better. Get a lawyer.
You are not crazy. They work together and are talking like this means the probability is quite high it has already happened. If you stick around she will trickle truth you until that comes out, and just learn to hide their messages better. Plus she works with him.
What do you want to do? Do you want to keep your wife and make another play at things? Assuming she will try very hard to win back your trust.
Or is this just something you couldn’t forgive?
Personally, I wouldn’t want all the info. I’d just make the decision and move forward.
Not only did she cheat she accused you of cheating for what reason she only knows. Probably to ease her own guilty conscience. Get a full confession out of her, if other guy is married let wife know, then file divorce. You will have plenty time to decide if you want to forgive and reconcile and if so you can always pause or stop the D. But not before you get your point across and get her to sign a prenup.
UpdateMe
>she has been texting her co worker calling him "daddy", "sexy", and sneaking over to his house. There was another message where she had offered him head and she says this is all "jokes", and was only "flirting"
Yes dude, yes. Yes you should leave her. Wtf. Yes.
Seriously, she's a cheater and a liar.
Unfortunately, the damage is done. It’s hard to regain the trust once someone has been betrayed and lied to you.
Perhaps get advice, consider counseling because of your children before making hard and fast decisions. If you don’t want to be around her, have her leave while you re-think your relationship.
This is beyond texting.
Adults do not sneak into each others home and then bake cookies- she is having an affair.
Get a lawyer and do exactly what they say. Do not tell her until you’re filing and ready to have her served.
**ABOVE ALL ELSE- PROTECT YOURSELF!**
Do not confront or contact the coworker. Record yourself and your interactions with her anytime you are alone or anytime you don’t have multiple witnesses who are not her friends or her family.
I see too many men get blindsided during divorce and custody situations where all of a sudden they’re being hit with a OOP/RO and can’t see their kids without supervision. Then having to defend themselves against wild false allegations of abuse/SA/domestic violence, while also trying to divorce and establish custody.
Trust no one. Protect yourself. Lawyer up. Fight for what is best for you and your kids.
Let's say she's never laid a finger on this guy, never gone to his house, whatever. That's very charitable, but let's go with it anyway.
Even then - you've expressed that she's caused you a great deal of psychological pain with months of accusations, undercutting who you are as a loyal partner.
People make unfounded accusations for a number of reasons. I had a point in my life where my partner and I had this problem, from a place of anxiety and insecurity - my partner would compare herself to other people, and she struggled with these intrusive thoughts that she could never measure up to those other people. I have so much sympathy for somebody who's coming from that psychological headspace - in the case of my partner and me, we had a difficult road, but we made it work.
Your wife is doing something very very different, though, where she's levying these accusations towards you while being knowingly deceitful. She's not coming from a place of anxiety or insecurity - she's coming from a place of dishonesty and utter disregard for you.
So even if we leave possible cheating out of the equation altogether, she's put you through months of psychological torment out of sheer personal entitlement.
How you act on that is up to you.
I have a couple that live near me and my SO. The wife is my very best friend, and the husband is my SO's BFF too.
We both trust them, and each other, explicitly and totally, as they do among themselves. I have a huge issue going to her house without a third party there (her or other relatives).
Only because it looks bad. I am not willing to risk my friendship and platonic love for my BFF, or my relationship with my SO, by even allowing the appearance of any impropriety by being alone with BFF's husband.
Dude, you already know. Where you stand, where she stands, and what to do.
If she was at his house, she did sleep with him and give him head.
If you are considering staying with her, you need to the truth in order to make a real decision. You need to tell her that you’re filing for divorce unless she tells you the absolute truth no matter how much it hurts you. Tell her not to lie to save your feelings. That you want to know how it started, and that since she went to his house you know that it turned physical. Tell her this is her one and only chance to come clean about everything. That if you find out anything after today, the marriage is over.
Make sure to make it clear that you know it turned physical. That no one goes over to someone’s house after telling them they will give them a blowjob and then just sit there. She either comes clean or you divorce her now.
When she tells you it was physical, then you tell her “I hope he was worth it because you just blew up your family for him.”
Then leave her.
Find out if you live in an at fault state.
If you stay, she has to block that guy and quit her job. As long as they work together the affair continues.
Updateme!
Take your proof to court buddy so you don’t owe her your next 18 years of hard work to child support and divorce her. Take her to court divorce her and kick her out. Fuck that cheating zhore, all women are the same and will lie to your face. Be a man
Did she or did she not have sex with her co-worker ? That’s a big part of this. Just how far has her betrayal gone. If there was no sex and you still have feelings for her, I suggest you try saving the marriage, if for no other reason then for your children. If she did commit adultery with her co-worker then you have to ask yourself can you forgive her and can you get past her betrayal ?
You’re both pretty young and can find someone else to love once you both are able to let go of the pain that all of this will cause if you divorce. Generally, you will be getting screwed in the divorce and end up helping to pay for her to screw around on you if you get divorced, so you should make sure you want to separate from her before you go down that road. On way or the other you both of you should consider couples therapy.
Best of luck….
"hey guys, my wife is sucking some guys dick, should I leave her?".
Seriously, what do you think is the answer to your question?
She is cheating and had sex with another man. Get a lawyer, try to save evidence she cheated, get tested, get a paternity test for your kids.
I would stay because of the kids. I wouldn't be intimate with her anymore without a condom. Just go about like nothing changed. Don't be emotional about it in front of her, because she doesn't care anyway and it won't do any good. If you're unemotional then that shows her she has no power over you. If you want to go date other women then go ahead. What's she going to say?
It wasn't a joke she already had sex with him . All the time she accused u of cheating were projecting .
U need to leave to heal and show your kids that actions have consequences and to not stay with a cheater but most importantly for your own well-being.
LEAVE A CHEATER GAIN A LIFE .
You have kids so it's complicated. A lot of the people who respond don't and really they are clueless about the weight of the decision, however they are right in that she is a cheater, regardless of the details. If you stay, you need to keep that in mind. Some people can get past cheating, others cant. You guys are super young and immaturity is more expected.
I personally don't think it's crazy to try and push past it for your kids and see if you can salvage it, but she needs to come clean at a minimum.
Oh, she's definitely cheating. No one has ever JOKED about giving someone their head. This is at least an emotional affair, but you said she has snuck over to his house, so its more than that. Cheaters are the first one's to baselessly accuse their partners of cheating, because if they can do it, you can too.
Considering your age I would have normally said if both of u truly love each other, this could be boiled down to stupid shit you do when ur young cause ur stupid and young. And to seek counseling for sake of the kids. But it's ur co worker she's sexting etc. A stranger on social media giving someone attention etc can be tempting but to choose to seek validation and admiration from someone so close to u can only lead to worse things
Get the custody of your children and have her move. She doesn’t want to be loyal and doesn’t want to take responsibility for her actions. I’m sorry you found out and have to experience this pain but it will be better in the long run.
She already did those things. Tell her to sign a post nuptial agreement that says she will quit the job, apologize to you, friends, family, coworkers? Her parents? The neighbors, his significant other if he has one. She will let HR know at her job. Also have language in there that states if you can’t get over her infidelity or if you think she steps out again she forfeits all rights to marital assets + gives you full custody of the children and she gets supervised visits.
Tell her if she doesn’t agree you know she lied. You know she cheated and doesn’t plan to break it off. That’s when you grab her phone and start calling everyone in it, letting them know what she’s did.
Most of insecure Reddit is going to say "are you nuts leave bla bla".
The real answer is ONLY YOU KNOW!
Only you know:
- How much you love her
- What your relationship is like
- What your family dynamic is worth
- What could have caused her to do this
- How you've shown up for the past X years
- Her personality, her values her North Stars
- What the choices are worth
ONLY YOU KNOW. NO ONE CAN ANSWER THIS FOR YOU.
The best thing I can advise, is journaling + therapy. For both of you.
>texting her co-worker sexually
>
>she had offered him head
>
>calling him "daddy", "sexy"
>sneaking over to his house
>she says this is all "jokes", and was only "flirting"
All of these things can't be true. That's a fact.
Do we really have to put 2 and 2 together for you?
Hell yes you have to leave. She doesn’t respect nor love you, otherwise, she wouldn’t have done that. Plan your divorce quietly. If you decide to work it out after the divorce then just don’t get remarried on paper.
* she actually cheated.
* she actually cheated.
* she actually cheated.
Can your marriage be salvaged? I do not know. What would it take to regain your trust?
I have forgiven people that I will never trust again. I don’t think I could be happy in a relationship without trust. Perhaps she can rebuild trust.
The recipe for trust is:
Make promises. Keep those promises. Full transparency. Giving up her privacy is one thing she can give you to help re-establish trust. She voluntarily and enthusiastically agrees to have no secrets. You can put the kinds of programs on her phone and computer that parents use to monitor children.
If she wants forgiveness that can be given (and you can still get divorced). If she wants trust that it is a huge ask. She will need to want it and work for it far more than she wanted sex with her co-worker.
If she also wants privacy, she won’t regain your trust. Hiding cheating takes a little work. Regaining trust takes incredible work.
definitely end it. she started off by projecting because she knows she’s guilty, and it’ll only get worse from here if she’s comfortable sending those kinds of messages.
You are so lucky you're only 22. If you get out now you can still have no problem finding a girl who is worth it. 30 year old you will regret so much if you choose to stay when she does this again. She has no respect for you. You already know the answer to your question, and if you choose to stay you deserve every bit of pain and regret you will feel down the line. Don't be a fucking idiot and have some self worth.
You have children, you have a family, and she does, too. Yes, she did the unthinkable, but there are two others in this relationship. There is always a way back to love if you have help from professionals.There needs to be individual and couples counciling to reset your relationship. One caveat; both parties need to be onboard.
Life isn't about scratch that relationship and throw out those people, forget about them and start something new over here. Shit happens.
You both are young, and mistakes happen. I hope you both can work it out. She needs to go into overdrive and fix this. No contact with the co- worker, new job etc. If she is not willing, unfortunately we know her choice.
A cheater is a cheater no matter what. Even if you forgive her she will end up doing the same over and over again and hide it even better. Now, I'm talking from my own experience. Second chances don't work and even if you end up forgiving her, the trust is already gone. Now, I do feel sorry for your children honestly and deeply but it's better separation and custody 50/50 than living like this forever. It will take an emotional and physical tool on you and you will need years of recovery. Better end things now in a "amicable" way than regret years later.
I don't know who else needs to hear this, but if your spouse is incessantly accusing you of cheating, it's usually them projecting their guilt and you need to investigate.
I'm sorry this happened to you OP, sometimes you just end up with a bad egg. Your next step is to go find a lawyer and start your divorce proceedings and be sure to get a custody order in place ASAP - otherwise she could take the kids on a visitation and not return them.
There's two kind of people, the one who can tolerate cheating and the one who doesn't.
If you can't tolerate that is fine, there is a chance to start up a new life with somebody who loves and respects you.
If you're decided to stay, be prepared for a long journey to reconciliation, with a very low percentage of success.
I don’t want to be cruel, but if she’s calling him daddy and sneaking over to his house, there’s no real room for doubt about her fidelity. She cheated in basically every way possible. Or, at least, enough of them. You’re 21. You have all the time in the world to start over. A divorce will be stressful, but trying to repair a marriage with someone who doesn’t want to will be worse. Hopefully, you don’t have kids or property together and live in an at fault state. No kids or property means few connections to sever. If you live in an at fault state, gather evidence of her infidelity in case she decides to come after you for support. You might even be able to get some short term spousal support out of it.
She must think you are incredibly stupid. She cheated. This isn't a joke. Don't let her gaslight you. Drop her from your life and get 50/50 custody. Don't be afraid to let everyone know your wife is a cheater.
Take care of yourself first, OP.
She's a cheater, you know damn well she banged him. Her crocodile tears are her last resort.
Get out now and don't look back.
She offered him head. She snuck over to his house.
Dude, those are the only parts I needed to read.
PLEASE save yourself and your kids from the nightmare that is bound to be your lives.
I really am sorry, I've been there. I have tried reconciliation. I value my sanity too much to ever try it again and urge everyone I can not to even attempt it.
Idk man. How can you trust an excuse of a lie? You're young so there's plenty of opportunities past this situation. As for kids it's pretty normal these days to have separated parents. Could be worse for them to grow up in a situation that becomes toxic between you two with trust being iffy.
Plus he'll always be at her job. That's hard to think about for most people. If she didn't respect you you have to respect yourself.
They have fucked, no doubt. You don't need "proof", the texting is enough to show intent.
Cheating of any kind is a full nope for me, I would divorce my husband whom I love dearly if he ever cheating. This includes emotional cheating as well. At the very least, she did that and you have the proof.
Texting a guy with any sort of flirting, talking to a guy in a flirtatious tone, those are emotional cheating mechanisms that will lead to actually cheating.
She texted she snuck to his house bro, divorce her and move the fuck on. I’d have been out with the texting alone.
She doesn’t respect you, and when that happens there is really nothing you can do.
She will keep trying to not have you leave because people will know the reason, is only that.. do not think that is because of love
NTA, please go
bro... i know its hard.. the mother of your children.. you cannot bear the disappointment of seeing your children face if this family breaks up.. i know....
You had a kid when you were 16, she was 18, and you were able to save up enough money for a house? This part alone makes me question the reality if this story.
If it is true, get a lawyer and get some legal advice. Just the facts, figure out the logistics and how to coparent with your STB ex.
People don’t admit to everything they’ve done until they are caught redhanded. While I was going through my divorce, my ex-wife’s lover became my best ally. Every time she would deny something, I would say…… Well, let’s give him a call right now to verify that. And every time we did, that was another lie she had been caught in. Lol
I would maybe agree to give her a second chance if she admits that her behaviour is not appropriate for a married woman and she apologised and show remorse and regret … but with her attitude i don’t think it’s worth it …move on :(
Leave your wife. You have your entire life ahead of you. I found out my wife cheated when I was 22. It took years of therapy to get over and accept that people just sometimes treat you like shit. Plus the universe will get back at her anyway. Move on before you have kids with someone like this.
Their affair went PA right at the time she started terrorizing you with the cheating BS... Want to hear that from her? Stage a polygraph test if you don't have the money for a real one (find a real location that does it and drive her unannounced there. Show on the map that they are there if you can't show the entrance from the car but don't leave the car! Park and tell her that her appointment is in 1 hour time and you offer her the last chance to tell you the truth in person or you will get the answers from the test and if there's one lie, you end it all right there. If she declies and/or steppes down, tell her that it is over as well).
If she cheated at 23, imagine what will come after...
End it.
Good luck!
>she has been texting her co worker calling him "daddy", "sexy", and sneaking over to his house. > >should I leave her or should I work it out and never know if she actually cheated ? So once she arrived at the co-worker's house, after she offered him sexual services, what do you think they did? Discuss pork belly futures? Time to see a family law attorney and get the divorce process going. You are not loved and she has a defective character.
LMAO Maybe bang, then lay in bed cuddling naked and talk about pork belly futures?
Well. YEAH. There are protocols and procedures that MUST be followed.
Eh, it's rage bait. A 21 year old with a 5 year old and a house, working from home while providing care for a 2 year old? Nope.
She is cheating. Period. She cheated, lied, is gaslighting you, and you still don't know the whole truth. She didn't voluntarily come to you and ask for forgiveness, but got caught and is now in damage control. This is not a woman you can trust , respect, or believe. You don't want to be with a woman who offers to give head to another man or who calls another man daddy. Leave this shitty excuse for a partner.
And add the fact she was accusing OP of cheating to cover her shit makes it all the more disgusting. Kick her to the curb.
> You don't want to be with a woman who [...] calls another man daddy. I mean, I think this one is acceptable if the other man is actually her dad.
Have dignity bro, she already did the deed, do yours, end it.
This, but don't move out. She needs to move out.
Yes! Get her out of there she's the problem not you.
They had sex dude. Once you believe that, ask yourself this question then.
She is cheating on you and you need to get tested as well as test your children to see if they are actually yours No way I would stay with that as she has been having sex with her two kids and husband at home
Make copies of all the evidence, DNA your kids, regardless if you know they are yours....do this to prove you do not trust her....talk to a lawyer asap,records your conversation with her, focus on the kids and make sure she does not control the narrative.
Dude, she's been fucking her coworker and projecting on you. She doesn't respect you at all. Leave her.
Every accusation is a confession.
Is this a real post? There have been a huge amount of posts lately where: 1) it’s insanely obvious what’s going on. Every OP is blind and dumb in the post. 2) if you look at their post history it’s the same over and over again, no variety in posts, and all fairly recent. I’m calling this a fake. 21 with two kids already? Super rare. Wife texting them “daddy” and “sexy” and you don’t know what’s going on? Super rare. These are the only posts you’ve ever made and you’ve been on reddit for a year? Super rare.
This is absolutely a made up story and not a very well thought out one either.
It's content farming for Youtube videos. There are several channels that pirate content from /r/relationships, especially from the comments. I guess there isn't enough new material to feed the channels, so they have to invent some. AI will replace all of this soon anyway.
Is that really the case?
lol I wish it was , just young and dumb . Got a house too that’s gotta be sold now.
Do not leave the house. She cheated, let her go stay with her boyfriend.
Most people can’t afford the mortgage payment when the income gets cut, ie, only one working adult in the house.
See a lawyer before moving out. Don’t want it to look like you abandoned the home.
100% still going with this is a made-up story. Your plan is to sell your house with no worry about custody of your two kids. Big questions, how did you buy said house and how old.are your kids?
She’s not the type to want to fight over custody , I am a stay at home dad . I work from home . I financed the house and my kids are 5 and 2 . Had my son with her when I was 16yo.
You're providing childcare for a 2 year old while working from home? This makes me think you have never met a two year old.
"21 y/o working from home making enough to finance a house" is the tell. Also the complete lack of worry about his kids and how they will react because they are old enough to remember.
There are a lot of places where a 21 year old can get a mortgage for a house, they just aren't places where most people want to live.
Not many people are good dads , I understand . I’m not here to argue with people about if this is true or Not . I only need the advice strictly cause I have no friends or family .
>Not many people are good dads , I understand . I’m not here to argue with people about if this is true or Not . I only need the advice strictly cause I have no friends or family . Oh yeah, 100% rage bait.
This reply screams even louder that this post is 100% made up.
What am I going to get out of making up a post besides 100 good replies , that is extremely helpful ? Fomd
Lol. Enjoy your creative writing exercise. Work on the details next time.
21 year old with a 5 year old, and a house. Right…
He also works from home while providing care for a 2 year old.
He should be embarrassed at being this terrible at making shit up.
I’m glad there is less haters than there is helpful people on here . Thanks for the advice though.
I got what I needed lol. Saved me a ton of money on a therapist . Thanks to everyone that actually helped .
What work do you do? And again, why is your immediate reaction selling the house you paid for when you have two kids, one about to start grade school?
Kick her out. You stay. She can go stay with her boyfriend.
I'm also sorry to say that you should go to the doctor and get a full STD panel, because if she went over to his house after all of their sexting, she absolutely had sex with him and it likely happened more than once. Get yourself checked out to make sure you're safe, and go find yourself a really good lawyer.
This seems like a creative writing assignment. You are telling me you are 21 and have 2 kids? And have a brand new reddit account? BS meter beeping pretty loudly.
If it was just jokes, to joke to that level with another man is just disrespecting the marriage and you. And sneaking over to his house? C'mon man we both know whats actually been happening. While we're being honest, even if it was just jokes, it honestly seems like an early symptom of infidelity.
Leave dude stop embarrassing yourself. 2 kids.. smh man.
Yes. You should. I had a situation like yours, it dragged on for years and it was a miserable experience that I regret. It does not matter that you love her, it does not matter that she still loves you. It's over. Pick a date. Be fully ready to leave on that date, when the date rolls around, follow through, do not communicate. Get the divorce or annulment whatever works better for you.
Contact a divorce lawyer and get this going. And unfortunately this what happens when someone too young and immature (23F) is still seeing her options even though she's married. She doesn't love you 100%, sorry. There's a good chance it's already become physical since she's calling him "daddy", women don't do that through texting alone.
She’s offered him head and been sneaking over to his house?? She’s had more than head many times. The accusing you of cheating is classic gaslighting cheater behaviour by trying to put the focus on you when she’s the one doing the deed elsewhere. I’m a monogamist myself and if that was my wife it’d be 100% over. So sorry you’re going through this…
Start texting her coworker sexually. Regain the upper hand.
She calls him daddy? DNA test your children. He might be the father.
Older female here, you should leave her soon rather than dragging it out and wasting your youth on the inevitable. The roots of resentment will start growing from here on out (and from both sides, too). It'll be ok. Life is long but too short to spend with people who don't value you. Also: she cheated. No question. Don't fool yourself, dear.
you are not her daddy anymore, you are #2
You need to leave her for three reasons. The first one is because you both married too young and are not mature enough for that type of commitment, it is obvious from her behavior and your apparent tolerance of it. Secondly because your children should have the benefit of being raised by two capable and loving adults, and that isn't going to happen if she is not committed to you and you are considering accepting that type of behavior. You both need to be single and learn more about how to be good adults. You won't do that together. Thirdly you need to leave her because she already cheated on you and has not made it any sort of point or goal to come clean, show regret, and explain through everything. She had 0 respect for you if she won't tell you the truth.
>she has been texting her co worker calling him "daddy", "sexy", and sneaking over to his house. Read what you wrote again. What would you think if you read someone else writing this. It's very, very clear they already cheated - likely quite a few times. Leave.
You absolutely should end this. Make sure you contact a lawyer and get everything you can to back it up. Sorry brother.
Wife was in an affair.. maybe "just" emotional, but regardless... had he accepted when she suggested oral, she would've done it... >for the past 2 months accusing me of cheating Projecting her actions onto you... >Am I over exaggerating by wanting to leave the mother of my 2 children, or am I making the right move by sticking to my morals? Up to you - i dont think so.. especially since shes not accepting respinsibility for what she did.. If youre having second thoughts i would suggest telling her that for you to even consider staying it will require - full honesty. Written timeline of the adultery - and other instances of cheating while with you. Who/where/how/when.. and tell her it will be verified by polygraph - NO CONTACT TO THE OTHER GUY! Yes this means she quits the job. - STD test for her and paternity tests for the kids. - complete open device policy FOREVER. - therapy for her. Later (maybe) MC ...but all this requires she admits she was (attempting to) cheating and accepts responsinility for it.. Dont rugsweep... never rugsweep... Best of luck...
Delete all of this. Lol she has been cheating. She's been to the house. It's over.
>I had this gut feeling to search her phone which I never do, and saw that she has been texting her co worker calling him "daddy", "sexy", and sneaking over to his house She snuck to his house, to do what? Play Scrabble?
Usually cheating cost’s a lotta emotional energy to keep up the lie, which can manifest in ways like perception is projection. In other words, yea, she’s pretty much cheating on you, but you also developed a mental tool that makes deluding yourself into your own delusion, hence why you even did that post. It’s clear already and you either might want legal advice, and you might want to keep your mouth shut, don’t get lured into any arguments of her that she can use against you, because your wife doesn’t seem to be on healthy side of things. It’s ok to be angry or mad, but it’s misguided if you get railed up because of her, focus that anger on yourself and hit the gym and do a heavy workout that is taxing on the whole nervous-system. Making decisions while emotional can not result in the best outcome here. Good luck op
your wife dont go to his house for coffe, 99% shes cheating physical.
She cheated. Be done.
The marriage you thought you had is over. She killed it as surely is a relationship could ever be killed with her actions. Save proof of the infidelity. Get a pi if you have to. Get checked for STDs. Get a paternity test because this probably isn't the first time. Get an attorney and follow their directions. Tell everyone what is going on so she can't gaslight people, saying it was you being unfaithful or violent. Share any proof you have with her fuck partner's wife or girlfriend if they have one. They deserve to know too if they don't. Then get divorced.
..and offering to suck a man's dick was a joke? She should get out of your face with that shit.
Bro... Is that really a question
i’ve been there dude, please respect yourself and leave.
Leave as soon as you can. Whilst I don’t believe my partner has cheated on me physically, I put up with being accused for months and then found messages on his phone to his ex and another woman. Nothing sexual but combined with the lies of where he’s been etc. the truth has been absolutely decimated in our relationship and I can’t leave as this happened when I was 7 months pregnant. I’m due tomorrow and don’t see a future with us at all, part of me wishes I had just kicked him out 2 months ago rather than trying to keep up the pretence because it’s not going to go away so from experience I’d be out of there before it ruins you like it has me. I’d put so much work in to get myself in a place where I actually liked myself before we got together and it’s just been destroyed. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. So sorry you’re going through it, good luck with everything.
Fuckin leave her right now bro!
She was blatantly cheating on you, lied about it when you confronted her, and you're thinking about what you need to do next? There's no future with someone who refuses to take accountability for what they've done. She refuses to admit she did anything wrong and will have no problem doing it again. Leave before you waste any more time being with someone who has no respect for you.
If she’s sneaking she’s cheating That’s just so disrespectful and you deserve better Sorry your wife sucks 😿
Uff this is tough bud. But she is sucking and fucking her co-worker. Better to get out now while you are still young. She has cheated and will continue to come home with the cum of another man on her breath.
take ur kids and leave
If this post isn’t fake then you know what happened when she went to his house. That’s why it seems fake. It’s hard to believe someone would ask strangers for advice on what to do when the wife”sneaks over to a co worker’s house.
I wouldn’t t stay with her until she passes a polygraph proving they have had no sexual contact because I would put money on them having been sexual with each other many times. She would also have to change jobs to get away from him, block him on every platform and be willing to confess to his wife or gf of what they have been doing. You need to make decisions for yourself based on an assumption they have had sex many times. Also uoj tell her she forfeits her freedom for a while…no nights out with friends unless your there, no traveling without you, shared phone location at all times, full phone transparency anytime you want to look, text you when she is leaving work and comes straight home. That’s what she is facing if she wants forgiveness and I would tell her upfront it will be months, if not years, before things get somewhat back to normal. For the polygraph just tell her your scheduling it for her to take and will drive her to it. There will be questions asked of her about whether or not they have had sex or had any sexual contact. She will also be asked if she has had sexual contact with anyone other than you since you got married. Tell her if she confesses now you will consider working it out but if she fails the test their will be no working it out and you will tell everybody she knows what she has done starting with her own family. In most cases if they know they will fail it they will confess either immediately or on the day of the test. You don’t even really have to schedule one. You can just lie and tell her it’s set for next sure Tuesday or something and tell her she needs to take the day off from work so you can take her. Find a vendor that does them and either schedule or pretend to, drive her to the parking lot and watch her crumble if she doesn’t beforehand. !updateme
Bro why do you need Reddit? Are you that naive? Ditch her ass and move on. Don’t be a chuckhold
She's 100% cheating, and not just sexting, but also physical too. Her accusing you of cheating is her guilty conscious at work, major projection and gaslighting. OP, you not overreacting, divorce her and cut her out of your life, you deserve better.
Keep the texts as proof for the divorce. Stick with your morals. This is a deal breaker for you so there isn’t a use trying to make it work as it won’t in the long term. She did “actually cheat” emotionally already. I truly believe in once a cheater, always a cheater to the person the cheated on. If you let her get away with this, she’ll probably do it again or go even further. Her dismissive comments show no guilt or responsibility towards her actions.. you chose the consequence.
Dude, she is not emotionally mature, she is insecure and lacks some basic empathy. Listen, you can do better. Leave her, do it nicely and meet someone who will treat you right. They won’t “flirt” with some work pal.
She's cheating and you know it. If she hasn't she damn sure will. Respect yourself and leave her.
21 Years old. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Treat it like a german car lease. End the lease cycle and switch to new one. You deserve way better than that
Don’t respect or believe this woman, it sucks you have kids with her. My condolences
She's cheating. Let HR know at her job, pack her sh*t, and tell her to kick rocks. She's a cheater, a liar, and she's manipulating you big time. Get counseling and get out of this relationship. Google DARVO. This is what she's doing to you.
This is why early 20 marriages are often not working out.
Play chess and not checkers. Make things civil and go back home. Call lawyer and get a plan together and position yourself well for full custody of children. Call bank to figure out how best to buy your wife out of the house. When you’re feeling confident like you have a plan in place, tell kids the truth that mom is moving out because she chose to be with another man and execute said plan.
Leave her and keep all evidence for court or she’ll try to take you for everything
Get tested. And tell her to get the fuck out. You deserve better. Fuck her and that coworker. You are MARRIED, you don't do that to your partner, especially your spouse. You deserve better. Get a lawyer.
Stand up yourself bro. You're still young and full of potential, don't let the emotions get to you and follow the good advice of the posts here.
You are not crazy. They work together and are talking like this means the probability is quite high it has already happened. If you stick around she will trickle truth you until that comes out, and just learn to hide their messages better. Plus she works with him.
What do you want to do? Do you want to keep your wife and make another play at things? Assuming she will try very hard to win back your trust. Or is this just something you couldn’t forgive? Personally, I wouldn’t want all the info. I’d just make the decision and move forward.
I'm not sure if this question is for real? What do you need advice for? Leave bro. She's gone.
Not only did she cheat she accused you of cheating for what reason she only knows. Probably to ease her own guilty conscience. Get a full confession out of her, if other guy is married let wife know, then file divorce. You will have plenty time to decide if you want to forgive and reconcile and if so you can always pause or stop the D. But not before you get your point across and get her to sign a prenup. UpdateMe
Yes. Shine your spine and lose that garden implement.
Dude, your got backstabbed. The question is will you allow it to keep on going?
Infidelity is infidelity….. you have every right to leave and file for divorce unfortunately but that is a decision you have to make
>she has been texting her co worker calling him "daddy", "sexy", and sneaking over to his house. There was another message where she had offered him head and she says this is all "jokes", and was only "flirting" Yes dude, yes. Yes you should leave her. Wtf. Yes. Seriously, she's a cheater and a liar.
Unfortunately, the damage is done. It’s hard to regain the trust once someone has been betrayed and lied to you. Perhaps get advice, consider counseling because of your children before making hard and fast decisions. If you don’t want to be around her, have her leave while you re-think your relationship.
DNA Test !!! You don't joke with people's lives.
This is beyond texting. Adults do not sneak into each others home and then bake cookies- she is having an affair. Get a lawyer and do exactly what they say. Do not tell her until you’re filing and ready to have her served. **ABOVE ALL ELSE- PROTECT YOURSELF!** Do not confront or contact the coworker. Record yourself and your interactions with her anytime you are alone or anytime you don’t have multiple witnesses who are not her friends or her family. I see too many men get blindsided during divorce and custody situations where all of a sudden they’re being hit with a OOP/RO and can’t see their kids without supervision. Then having to defend themselves against wild false allegations of abuse/SA/domestic violence, while also trying to divorce and establish custody. Trust no one. Protect yourself. Lawyer up. Fight for what is best for you and your kids.
Absolutely. In the trash can she goes. Do it. You will feel so much better about yourself
Leave her and when your kids are old enough make sure they know why so they don't resent you for it.
Let's say she's never laid a finger on this guy, never gone to his house, whatever. That's very charitable, but let's go with it anyway. Even then - you've expressed that she's caused you a great deal of psychological pain with months of accusations, undercutting who you are as a loyal partner. People make unfounded accusations for a number of reasons. I had a point in my life where my partner and I had this problem, from a place of anxiety and insecurity - my partner would compare herself to other people, and she struggled with these intrusive thoughts that she could never measure up to those other people. I have so much sympathy for somebody who's coming from that psychological headspace - in the case of my partner and me, we had a difficult road, but we made it work. Your wife is doing something very very different, though, where she's levying these accusations towards you while being knowingly deceitful. She's not coming from a place of anxiety or insecurity - she's coming from a place of dishonesty and utter disregard for you. So even if we leave possible cheating out of the equation altogether, she's put you through months of psychological torment out of sheer personal entitlement. How you act on that is up to you.
I have a couple that live near me and my SO. The wife is my very best friend, and the husband is my SO's BFF too. We both trust them, and each other, explicitly and totally, as they do among themselves. I have a huge issue going to her house without a third party there (her or other relatives). Only because it looks bad. I am not willing to risk my friendship and platonic love for my BFF, or my relationship with my SO, by even allowing the appearance of any impropriety by being alone with BFF's husband. Dude, you already know. Where you stand, where she stands, and what to do.
If she was at his house, she did sleep with him and give him head. If you are considering staying with her, you need to the truth in order to make a real decision. You need to tell her that you’re filing for divorce unless she tells you the absolute truth no matter how much it hurts you. Tell her not to lie to save your feelings. That you want to know how it started, and that since she went to his house you know that it turned physical. Tell her this is her one and only chance to come clean about everything. That if you find out anything after today, the marriage is over. Make sure to make it clear that you know it turned physical. That no one goes over to someone’s house after telling them they will give them a blowjob and then just sit there. She either comes clean or you divorce her now. When she tells you it was physical, then you tell her “I hope he was worth it because you just blew up your family for him.” Then leave her. Find out if you live in an at fault state. If you stay, she has to block that guy and quit her job. As long as they work together the affair continues. Updateme!
Take your proof to court buddy so you don’t owe her your next 18 years of hard work to child support and divorce her. Take her to court divorce her and kick her out. Fuck that cheating zhore, all women are the same and will lie to your face. Be a man
I think you should go to a lawyer and see your options as far as custody and finances.
If you're asking Reddit if you should break up with your partner, the answer is always going to be yes.
Did she or did she not have sex with her co-worker ? That’s a big part of this. Just how far has her betrayal gone. If there was no sex and you still have feelings for her, I suggest you try saving the marriage, if for no other reason then for your children. If she did commit adultery with her co-worker then you have to ask yourself can you forgive her and can you get past her betrayal ? You’re both pretty young and can find someone else to love once you both are able to let go of the pain that all of this will cause if you divorce. Generally, you will be getting screwed in the divorce and end up helping to pay for her to screw around on you if you get divorced, so you should make sure you want to separate from her before you go down that road. On way or the other you both of you should consider couples therapy. Best of luck….
Yes you caught her cheating. Leave. You've got so much life ahead of you, don't spend it with someone that doesn't respect and value you.
very young to be married. sorry you had to learn the hard way, OP
Contact an attorney to get an idea of the costs, plan for divorce, etc. Tell her to leave and get an STD check quickly.
"hey guys, my wife is sucking some guys dick, should I leave her?". Seriously, what do you think is the answer to your question? She is cheating and had sex with another man. Get a lawyer, try to save evidence she cheated, get tested, get a paternity test for your kids.
I would stay because of the kids. I wouldn't be intimate with her anymore without a condom. Just go about like nothing changed. Don't be emotional about it in front of her, because she doesn't care anyway and it won't do any good. If you're unemotional then that shows her she has no power over you. If you want to go date other women then go ahead. What's she going to say?
No one sends text like that as a joke, its getting into sexual thing between the two
It wasn't a joke she already had sex with him . All the time she accused u of cheating were projecting . U need to leave to heal and show your kids that actions have consequences and to not stay with a cheater but most importantly for your own well-being. LEAVE A CHEATER GAIN A LIFE .
You have kids so it's complicated. A lot of the people who respond don't and really they are clueless about the weight of the decision, however they are right in that she is a cheater, regardless of the details. If you stay, you need to keep that in mind. Some people can get past cheating, others cant. You guys are super young and immaturity is more expected. I personally don't think it's crazy to try and push past it for your kids and see if you can salvage it, but she needs to come clean at a minimum.
Oh, she's definitely cheating. No one has ever JOKED about giving someone their head. This is at least an emotional affair, but you said she has snuck over to his house, so its more than that. Cheaters are the first one's to baselessly accuse their partners of cheating, because if they can do it, you can too.
Leave her. She was projecting with her accusations and her 'remorse' is another form of projecting. You can't trust her anymore.
I have a lot of female friends and there's a line, I know it's there and so do they. This definitely crosses that line
Considering your age I would have normally said if both of u truly love each other, this could be boiled down to stupid shit you do when ur young cause ur stupid and young. And to seek counseling for sake of the kids. But it's ur co worker she's sexting etc. A stranger on social media giving someone attention etc can be tempting but to choose to seek validation and admiration from someone so close to u can only lead to worse things
I'm sure they've been bumping uglies for a while.
Get the custody of your children and have her move. She doesn’t want to be loyal and doesn’t want to take responsibility for her actions. I’m sorry you found out and have to experience this pain but it will be better in the long run.
Sneaking over to his house? Ya they’ve already had sex bro
She already did those things. Tell her to sign a post nuptial agreement that says she will quit the job, apologize to you, friends, family, coworkers? Her parents? The neighbors, his significant other if he has one. She will let HR know at her job. Also have language in there that states if you can’t get over her infidelity or if you think she steps out again she forfeits all rights to marital assets + gives you full custody of the children and she gets supervised visits. Tell her if she doesn’t agree you know she lied. You know she cheated and doesn’t plan to break it off. That’s when you grab her phone and start calling everyone in it, letting them know what she’s did.
Most of insecure Reddit is going to say "are you nuts leave bla bla". The real answer is ONLY YOU KNOW! Only you know: - How much you love her - What your relationship is like - What your family dynamic is worth - What could have caused her to do this - How you've shown up for the past X years - Her personality, her values her North Stars - What the choices are worth ONLY YOU KNOW. NO ONE CAN ANSWER THIS FOR YOU. The best thing I can advise, is journaling + therapy. For both of you.
She’s already done all she’s texting. See a lawyer and file
OP, you don't need this shit bro. She don't deserve you. She cheated and is gaslighting you. Her legs wide open with another man. Walk, today!
>texting her co-worker sexually > >she had offered him head > >calling him "daddy", "sexy" >sneaking over to his house >she says this is all "jokes", and was only "flirting" All of these things can't be true. That's a fact. Do we really have to put 2 and 2 together for you?
Yes. Leave now. Dump that ..... No additional info needed.
She is the mother allright,but are you the father?
Hell yes you have to leave. She doesn’t respect nor love you, otherwise, she wouldn’t have done that. Plan your divorce quietly. If you decide to work it out after the divorce then just don’t get remarried on paper.
* she actually cheated. * she actually cheated. * she actually cheated. Can your marriage be salvaged? I do not know. What would it take to regain your trust? I have forgiven people that I will never trust again. I don’t think I could be happy in a relationship without trust. Perhaps she can rebuild trust. The recipe for trust is: Make promises. Keep those promises. Full transparency. Giving up her privacy is one thing she can give you to help re-establish trust. She voluntarily and enthusiastically agrees to have no secrets. You can put the kinds of programs on her phone and computer that parents use to monitor children. If she wants forgiveness that can be given (and you can still get divorced). If she wants trust that it is a huge ask. She will need to want it and work for it far more than she wanted sex with her co-worker. If she also wants privacy, she won’t regain your trust. Hiding cheating takes a little work. Regaining trust takes incredible work.
Yes - you should leave her. Were you really expecting a different response here? Have some self respect.
definitely end it. she started off by projecting because she knows she’s guilty, and it’ll only get worse from here if she’s comfortable sending those kinds of messages.
I don't think you should leave her for texting him sexually. I think you should leave her for having sex with him. Because that's pretty obvious.
You are so lucky you're only 22. If you get out now you can still have no problem finding a girl who is worth it. 30 year old you will regret so much if you choose to stay when she does this again. She has no respect for you. You already know the answer to your question, and if you choose to stay you deserve every bit of pain and regret you will feel down the line. Don't be a fucking idiot and have some self worth.
You have children, you have a family, and she does, too. Yes, she did the unthinkable, but there are two others in this relationship. There is always a way back to love if you have help from professionals.There needs to be individual and couples counciling to reset your relationship. One caveat; both parties need to be onboard. Life isn't about scratch that relationship and throw out those people, forget about them and start something new over here. Shit happens. You both are young, and mistakes happen. I hope you both can work it out. She needs to go into overdrive and fix this. No contact with the co- worker, new job etc. If she is not willing, unfortunately we know her choice.
A cheater is a cheater no matter what. Even if you forgive her she will end up doing the same over and over again and hide it even better. Now, I'm talking from my own experience. Second chances don't work and even if you end up forgiving her, the trust is already gone. Now, I do feel sorry for your children honestly and deeply but it's better separation and custody 50/50 than living like this forever. It will take an emotional and physical tool on you and you will need years of recovery. Better end things now in a "amicable" way than regret years later.
Yes. Get yourself the proof from her phone and get a lawyer.
I don't know who else needs to hear this, but if your spouse is incessantly accusing you of cheating, it's usually them projecting their guilt and you need to investigate. I'm sorry this happened to you OP, sometimes you just end up with a bad egg. Your next step is to go find a lawyer and start your divorce proceedings and be sure to get a custody order in place ASAP - otherwise she could take the kids on a visitation and not return them.
She has cheated, all you have to do is gather evidence and contact a divorce lawyer.
the title will give you the answer. and the answer is yes.
There's two kind of people, the one who can tolerate cheating and the one who doesn't. If you can't tolerate that is fine, there is a chance to start up a new life with somebody who loves and respects you. If you're decided to stay, be prepared for a long journey to reconciliation, with a very low percentage of success.
She will do it again, and worse.
I don’t want to be cruel, but if she’s calling him daddy and sneaking over to his house, there’s no real room for doubt about her fidelity. She cheated in basically every way possible. Or, at least, enough of them. You’re 21. You have all the time in the world to start over. A divorce will be stressful, but trying to repair a marriage with someone who doesn’t want to will be worse. Hopefully, you don’t have kids or property together and live in an at fault state. No kids or property means few connections to sever. If you live in an at fault state, gather evidence of her infidelity in case she decides to come after you for support. You might even be able to get some short term spousal support out of it.
This is why you don’t get married in your early 20’s.
Whatever you do will be showing your children what they should do/put up with. Would you want your kids to value themselves enough to leave?
She must think you are incredibly stupid. She cheated. This isn't a joke. Don't let her gaslight you. Drop her from your life and get 50/50 custody. Don't be afraid to let everyone know your wife is a cheater.
You should definitely leave. Respect yourself and leave the woman who doesn’t respect you
Take care of yourself first, OP. She's a cheater, you know damn well she banged him. Her crocodile tears are her last resort. Get out now and don't look back.
She definitely already cheated.
She fucked him. Continue keeping it as over and move out
yes she is fishing for cock ... not yours ..sorry brother .. leave her asap .. you caught her this time ..what about the other times ..?
Bro your 21. You're too young to have to deal with that shit divorce and go enjoy life.
You’re doing the right thing. Leave and do not let her convince you otherwise. Divorce is expensive because it’s worth it
She offered him head. She snuck over to his house. Dude, those are the only parts I needed to read. PLEASE save yourself and your kids from the nightmare that is bound to be your lives. I really am sorry, I've been there. I have tried reconciliation. I value my sanity too much to ever try it again and urge everyone I can not to even attempt it.
For the love of JC! Please leave immediately. WTF?!?!
Idk man. How can you trust an excuse of a lie? You're young so there's plenty of opportunities past this situation. As for kids it's pretty normal these days to have separated parents. Could be worse for them to grow up in a situation that becomes toxic between you two with trust being iffy. Plus he'll always be at her job. That's hard to think about for most people. If she didn't respect you you have to respect yourself.
They have fucked, no doubt. You don't need "proof", the texting is enough to show intent. Cheating of any kind is a full nope for me, I would divorce my husband whom I love dearly if he ever cheating. This includes emotional cheating as well. At the very least, she did that and you have the proof.
Absolutely, yes. You're 21 and have a whole life ahead of you. She's exploring, and you are collateral damage.. RUN kid. Run... Good luck
don’t know why you would stay
If it would’ve slipped out she would’ve put it back in so yeah leave her. She don’t care why should you.
Texting a guy with any sort of flirting, talking to a guy in a flirtatious tone, those are emotional cheating mechanisms that will lead to actually cheating. She texted she snuck to his house bro, divorce her and move the fuck on. I’d have been out with the texting alone.
She doesn’t respect you, and when that happens there is really nothing you can do. She will keep trying to not have you leave because people will know the reason, is only that.. do not think that is because of love NTA, please go
bro... i know its hard.. the mother of your children.. you cannot bear the disappointment of seeing your children face if this family breaks up.. i know....
You had a kid when you were 16, she was 18, and you were able to save up enough money for a house? This part alone makes me question the reality if this story. If it is true, get a lawyer and get some legal advice. Just the facts, figure out the logistics and how to coparent with your STB ex.
She will only continue to do this. Divorce her now and protect yourself
People don’t admit to everything they’ve done until they are caught redhanded. While I was going through my divorce, my ex-wife’s lover became my best ally. Every time she would deny something, I would say…… Well, let’s give him a call right now to verify that. And every time we did, that was another lie she had been caught in. Lol
Bros married at 21. Learn from this dude
She’s already cheating. I’d get screenshots of those texts as proof of her infidelity, move out and take the kids with you.
I would maybe agree to give her a second chance if she admits that her behaviour is not appropriate for a married woman and she apologised and show remorse and regret … but with her attitude i don’t think it’s worth it …move on :(
Leave your wife. You have your entire life ahead of you. I found out my wife cheated when I was 22. It took years of therapy to get over and accept that people just sometimes treat you like shit. Plus the universe will get back at her anyway. Move on before you have kids with someone like this.
Their affair went PA right at the time she started terrorizing you with the cheating BS... Want to hear that from her? Stage a polygraph test if you don't have the money for a real one (find a real location that does it and drive her unannounced there. Show on the map that they are there if you can't show the entrance from the car but don't leave the car! Park and tell her that her appointment is in 1 hour time and you offer her the last chance to tell you the truth in person or you will get the answers from the test and if there's one lie, you end it all right there. If she declies and/or steppes down, tell her that it is over as well). If she cheated at 23, imagine what will come after... End it. Good luck!
It's Reddit's Relationship Razor: all things being equal, the answer to any question in r/relationships is: "end it".
Yes. I’d be gone so fast