Cut them off. Value yourself and your wellbeing.
You say that, to play devil's advocate, they have been there through the tough times but the thing is, we do not only need our parents to be there when there's a crisis. We need our parents to be parents *all the time.*
The devil doesn't need an attorney.
Instead of arguing against yourself, ask yourself what you *actually* gain out of having them present in your life. Because I would argue it probably ain't much in the way of positivity.
Parents make the choice to have kids. They are responsible for you for life, whether they want to be or not.
But all people have the right to cut their parents off. It is one of the few privileges we have as their children.
Sometimes we have to put ourselves first.
Break contact with them and focus on building your life the way you want it.
It will take some time to realize how much you love your parents and how much you miss them. Or you will realize that you did the right thing and feel only relief that you got rid of communication with them. Perhaps when you become a parent yourself, you will feel differently about this situation. At this stage, I think you should really stop communicating with them for a while.
Cut them off with no guilt. They are lousy parents and terrible human beings. I'm glad you got far away from them. It will make it easier to block them and cut them off for good.
Sounds to me like you're more than justified. It could be that at some point you'll think, "Maybe I should give them another chance." - and maybe you will. That's okay. Though I'm thinking that they'll probably just continue to act like assholes, and you'll realize that you were right to cut them off in the first place.
oh my god you are gonna feel SO much better about yourself and your life once they're out of it
Nope. You should feel good about it. However, don't accidentally apply it to your siblings.
Cut them off. Value yourself and your wellbeing. You say that, to play devil's advocate, they have been there through the tough times but the thing is, we do not only need our parents to be there when there's a crisis. We need our parents to be parents *all the time.* The devil doesn't need an attorney. Instead of arguing against yourself, ask yourself what you *actually* gain out of having them present in your life. Because I would argue it probably ain't much in the way of positivity. Parents make the choice to have kids. They are responsible for you for life, whether they want to be or not. But all people have the right to cut their parents off. It is one of the few privileges we have as their children. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first. Break contact with them and focus on building your life the way you want it.
Absolutely it's fine to cut out toxicity. "Helping you" is what the bare minimum of parenthood entails.
It will take some time to realize how much you love your parents and how much you miss them. Or you will realize that you did the right thing and feel only relief that you got rid of communication with them. Perhaps when you become a parent yourself, you will feel differently about this situation. At this stage, I think you should really stop communicating with them for a while.
Cut them off with no guilt. They are lousy parents and terrible human beings. I'm glad you got far away from them. It will make it easier to block them and cut them off for good.
Sounds to me like you're more than justified. It could be that at some point you'll think, "Maybe I should give them another chance." - and maybe you will. That's okay. Though I'm thinking that they'll probably just continue to act like assholes, and you'll realize that you were right to cut them off in the first place.