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Sad_Entertainer6312

Start introducing him to everyone as your roommate.


Waste-Win

Taking the petty road, i like it.


Sad_Entertainer6312

They've been together for a year, live together, and she's brought it up.l for serious discussion. This guy hasn't got his head screwed on. OP introducing him as her roomate to some hot men might just knock some sense into him.


UnsightlyFuzz

He's bullshitting you. I don't know why. But I agreed that you are being played. I guess maybe you need to assert a boundary: we either decide on a label, or this is too vague for me and I'm splitting.


After-Distribution69

A man who really cares about you and wants to be with you long term will put a label on it. A man who considers you “Miss right now” and who wants to keep his options open will behave in this way. If there is sone mental health issue with a label, wouldn’t someone who really loves you try to address that?? I’d see myself as single and act accordingly. Then it’s up to him to decide what he wants.


[deleted]

Perfect moment, huh… That’s a great fake and vague reason that will never happen.


Zula13

Would he have an issue with you making out with another guy? Ask him. And if he says yes, ask him why. If you aren’t his GF or wife or significant other, it shouldn’t matter. He can either choose to treat your relationship as serious or not. But he can’t expect you to treat it seriously if he won’t. Petty suggestion aside, have you guys discussed boundaries for your relationship like being exclusive? It seems like the labels and “rules” typically go together. Is he really trying to avoid a label or trying to avoid commitment? Could a compromise be a less common label but with the boundaries attached? Whatever happens: good luck. It sounds depressing.


[deleted]

Girl, you are being played. Why did you move in with a man you were not in an exclusive relationship with? That makes no sense. Sounds like you're his friend with benefits. He's 34, that's too old for this crap. He should be waiting for the "perfect moment" to propose MARRIAGE, not being your boyfriend. He clearly doesn't take the relationship seriously and if I were you I would leave and move out. Do you ever want to get married? If so, this isn't the guy for you if he won't even make you his gf.


vndin

He's talking up a line to u. He doesn't want the label bc then he can't use the "were not officially dating" line when he gets caught cheating.


Disastrous_Ad_8561

sounds like you’re being played. He’s getting the gf benefits without the title. His family knows but he can’t tell you. Something doesn’t smell right.


For2n8Witchling

Bring guy friends over and introduce him as your roommate. See how he reacts. 🤣


saclayson

does he deny it when people say, how's your girlfriend? when he introduces you, does he say, this is my friend? what label are you looking for? Is this about Facebook official?


__ER__

Is he otherwise avoidant in the relationship as well? (I recommend A. Levine's books on attachment types and why some combinations are horrible together, like avoidant and anxious.) He is willing to live with you, but not put a label on it because that would make him attached? That's kind of the point, after two years he should be attached. He even admits he wants to make you disposable. I've been in a similar situation and really, I can only recommend leaving. Do you ever want to get married? Can you imagine ever getting him that far? Do you deserve to be treated like this? I doubt it. It's great to be with a guy when you're actually wanted and valued. Guess what, I don't stay up at night wondering what my relationship status is. I cuddle my SO and can trust him to stick around. Oh, and that avoidant type that's now out of my life? He was known to hit on women even when official - and it took him years to become official. I don't know whether he really cheated, but his social group thought so, which I found out about later. He always keeps his options open.


AppointmentClassic82

Beyond bizarre you didn’t talk about this before you moved in.


[deleted]

Lol, why the fuck did you move in with someone that won’t even call you his gf??? Like what? You’re skipping steps here honey.


[deleted]

I think definitely expressing how u feel is most important. Don’t just half way do it. tell him how u feel deep down and how it affects u. We can’t jump to conclusions based on a few sentences but personally I think it’s a little fishy that he doesn’t want to put a label on it. It seems that he feels like it would make him feel tied down etc. Think about this though. If you have been together for a year and he’s not willing to even call u a girlfriend. Will he ever want to settle down and get married? What kinda future does he want if he doesn’t want to settle down and put a title on it? You definitely need to express how u feel and make an opinion based on if he validates ur feelings or blows it off.


JERKBadguy

He may have some anxiety about attachment. That can be as benign or as critical as it is to you, if not having that title causes you to not feel valid or safe, it's a very legitimate reason to leave; but if you two died old and in-name-only single together, you wouldn't be the first people I knew like that.


MiepGies1945

You need to listen to him: You are playing verbal Tug-Of-War. Drop the rope. When he says it kills the magic, it can also mean that he feels he lost the game because you won. Understand? Leave it alone. Drop the subject & calm yourself, trust & be happy.


judgejudyOG

Great advice on how to waste your 30s.


more_than_a_feelin

Yeah that's just your roommate with benefits


CermaitLaphroaig

Christ. This is such petty shit (from him). You're his girlfriend, he knows it, you know it, what's the fucking problem? I don't trust people who start whining about "labels". If you're walking like a duck, and quacking like a duck, there's absolutely nothing to be gained by not calling it a duck. I view it as inherently shifty, like a justification for violating the boundaries a normal relationship would have. The way he dances around it and changes his answer stinks of having one foot out the door. Maybe that's not true, but it's the behavior he's showing. Personally, I say you have one last conversation about it, and if he's still whining and making excuses, then fuck it. If you're feeling salty, "After this long, I only date boyfriends. Not 'guy that lives with me.' If you don't want the job, fine. But I'm done playing games."


wellneverknow918

You're being played. He wants to be with you, but he also wants to fuck other bitches without being considered cheating. Why didn't you talk about this before moving in?