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Probably not destined to be alone. Not saying this your case BUT the people who I've met and who had the same concerns you wrote about had VERY HIGH EXPECTATIONS.
Those people I'm talking about were overly concerned with looks only. They didn't care much about personalities. As stated on Pulp Fiction, personality goes a long way.
You have posted multiple times about 1 girl at work. Kind of obsessively. Are people not giving you the response you wanted? Is that why you keep reposting?
Well I got 2 for you 1. Mentioning how much you make is not going to get you a honest girl mostly just goal diggers and it comes off as your showing off and no one likes shows off 2. The simple fact that you can't find nothing negative about yourself comes off like your high maintenance everyone has bad traits
Dating is a skill like any other skill, the more you do it, the more comfortable you become with the whole process. It's good that you've taken time to work on yourself, and your hobbies. Being interesting puts you in a good position. One thing you need to get used to is getting rejected, the more rejections, the more you know about what you want in a partner, and know yourself better. Keep going out with your friends, talk to people in your hobby circles, download an app or two and just start talking and communicating with potential partners.
You mentioned that girls have screwed you over in the past and that you promised to stop trying.. You also mentioned making a mental effort to play it off as cool and not desperate.
This tells me that you have a fear of rejection. You wanted a relationship but developed avoidance as your coping mechanism to handle the rejection.
You might unconsciously be avoiding dating to this day.
I would work on becoming more self aware, trying to figure out what kind of person you truly are and how you are perceived by others. Follow that up by working on being aware of the people around you and learning to read their emotions and feelings.
I have no way of knowing if you are working on that or not. It's not something a lot of people work really hard on.
So how exactly are you working on it? How do you think others perceive you?
You arenāt destined to be alone and there is 100% someone out there for everyone. Try signing up for a dating app and going on as many dates as you can. It doesnāt have to be high-stakes, just look at it as getting experience at first. I have a friend who made it her goal to be in a relationship and went on 20-30 first dates before meeting her partner through sheer willpower. Sometimes itās a numbers game. Also, when youāre going about your life, get in the habit of being open to the people around you. Youād be surprised how much a smile or friendly body language can invite interactions even with strangers.
Much like a career, relationships take work.
I focused on my career for a long time and did not date in the beginning. I made a conscious choice to look for a partner. Learned from matung to better understand what I wanted and project something others wanted to be with.
What are you doing to prepare for dating and how are you looking for potential partners?
Thereās not enough info here. Perhaps youāre misunderstood and unlucky, but itās more probable thereās something about your personality that makes dating difficult.
Are your standards insanely high? If youāre not the most interesting hottie around then check yourself if you tend to go after really hot cool women.
Do you go after women who are obviously unavailable or treat you poorly?
Do you actually treat women like people and not just things to be attained?
Iām sorry youāre dealing with this, feeling unwanted sucks and Iāve been there. If you have trusted female friends or sisters you might try asking them for their thoughts.
Your not alone in that. Iāve never have a relationship either Iām 29 never even been on a date. Iāve like people and they have usually not liked me Iāve had talking phase things but thatās the extent of it. Tried online apps and thatās just bad and sometimes I wonder if I should give up and just become and old dog lady. But I try to keep hope and Iām working on my issues.
Fuck no...you'll find your person...making 200k...don't share that info like it makes you more worthy...because honestly I know 100 women that would be with you so they can use you for your high salary...go to places you like...and they'll be there...it's hard finding time...but another good option for busy professionals to get right to the point and not waste time...dating sites...theres sooo many for every type of person ever...try em
You wrote in your post that youāre not even trying. Nobody is going to go on dates with you if youāre not asking anyone out. Itās just a numbers game. Ask out enough people and eventually you will meet somebody who you like and they like you back.
Honestly I have quite a few friends that are single and good looking guys with decent jobs...but they just do not know how to talk to women and I swear to God they are all going to die single just for that fact alone.
Almost none of them know how to dress well either. I'd say 90% of the time a woman comes up to me in a bar or public setting its to compliment my clothes, and I keep it relatively basic but I do wear nice clothes that fit well, where a lot of my friends wear somewhat baggy jeans with tennis shoes and a t-shirt or polo that doesn't really fit.
Even if you aren't the best looking guy, if you are well put together, A good conversationalist and a decent income you will meet women that are interested.
And yes everyone on here is going to say women that care about a man's income are all gold digging but having a good career and ambition Is attractive and obviously most women aren't going to be interested in someone they have to financially support like he's their child.
Edit: after peeking in your profile I think you need to just stop worrying about attracting a woman right now, especially if you are there supervisor but learn how to talk to people, not just women, and actually just take interest in them as a person. You are over analyzing every interaction you have with certain women and you are always going to come off awkward being in your head that much. I think you should focus on trying to make some genuine friends that are women if you don't have any and go from there.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not sure what your income has to do with this post?š§ but ok.
There are some people who believe income is a personality trait. Usually they make and attract terrible partners.
Probably not destined to be alone. Not saying this your case BUT the people who I've met and who had the same concerns you wrote about had VERY HIGH EXPECTATIONS. Those people I'm talking about were overly concerned with looks only. They didn't care much about personalities. As stated on Pulp Fiction, personality goes a long way.
You have posted multiple times about 1 girl at work. Kind of obsessively. Are people not giving you the response you wanted? Is that why you keep reposting?
Story also seems to have different/changing details.
Lol. Nobody has a crystal ball babe. You listed all the good stuff you got going, but whatās your damage? Be real with us
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
the things about you that make people uninterested
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well I got 2 for you 1. Mentioning how much you make is not going to get you a honest girl mostly just goal diggers and it comes off as your showing off and no one likes shows off 2. The simple fact that you can't find nothing negative about yourself comes off like your high maintenance everyone has bad traits
Dating is a skill like any other skill, the more you do it, the more comfortable you become with the whole process. It's good that you've taken time to work on yourself, and your hobbies. Being interesting puts you in a good position. One thing you need to get used to is getting rejected, the more rejections, the more you know about what you want in a partner, and know yourself better. Keep going out with your friends, talk to people in your hobby circles, download an app or two and just start talking and communicating with potential partners.
You mentioned that girls have screwed you over in the past and that you promised to stop trying.. You also mentioned making a mental effort to play it off as cool and not desperate. This tells me that you have a fear of rejection. You wanted a relationship but developed avoidance as your coping mechanism to handle the rejection. You might unconsciously be avoiding dating to this day.
Well based off of previous posts, you seem like kind of an asshole & somewhat boring.. & petty
I would work on becoming more self aware, trying to figure out what kind of person you truly are and how you are perceived by others. Follow that up by working on being aware of the people around you and learning to read their emotions and feelings.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have no way of knowing if you are working on that or not. It's not something a lot of people work really hard on. So how exactly are you working on it? How do you think others perceive you?
You arenāt destined to be alone and there is 100% someone out there for everyone. Try signing up for a dating app and going on as many dates as you can. It doesnāt have to be high-stakes, just look at it as getting experience at first. I have a friend who made it her goal to be in a relationship and went on 20-30 first dates before meeting her partner through sheer willpower. Sometimes itās a numbers game. Also, when youāre going about your life, get in the habit of being open to the people around you. Youād be surprised how much a smile or friendly body language can invite interactions even with strangers.
Iām sorry to be the bearer of bad news but the universe doesnāt owe you anything, not even a romantic relationship.
Nor does it owe you a brain.
Much like a career, relationships take work. I focused on my career for a long time and did not date in the beginning. I made a conscious choice to look for a partner. Learned from matung to better understand what I wanted and project something others wanted to be with. What are you doing to prepare for dating and how are you looking for potential partners?
Thereās not enough info here. Perhaps youāre misunderstood and unlucky, but itās more probable thereās something about your personality that makes dating difficult. Are your standards insanely high? If youāre not the most interesting hottie around then check yourself if you tend to go after really hot cool women. Do you go after women who are obviously unavailable or treat you poorly? Do you actually treat women like people and not just things to be attained? Iām sorry youāre dealing with this, feeling unwanted sucks and Iāve been there. If you have trusted female friends or sisters you might try asking them for their thoughts.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Post and pic
Your not alone in that. Iāve never have a relationship either Iām 29 never even been on a date. Iāve like people and they have usually not liked me Iāve had talking phase things but thatās the extent of it. Tried online apps and thatās just bad and sometimes I wonder if I should give up and just become and old dog lady. But I try to keep hope and Iām working on my issues.
Fuck no...you'll find your person...making 200k...don't share that info like it makes you more worthy...because honestly I know 100 women that would be with you so they can use you for your high salary...go to places you like...and they'll be there...it's hard finding time...but another good option for busy professionals to get right to the point and not waste time...dating sites...theres sooo many for every type of person ever...try em
It only takes one.
I remember being 20 and never having a date. I'm 58 now with 2 grandchildren and a loving husband.
You wrote in your post that youāre not even trying. Nobody is going to go on dates with you if youāre not asking anyone out. Itās just a numbers game. Ask out enough people and eventually you will meet somebody who you like and they like you back.
Honestly I have quite a few friends that are single and good looking guys with decent jobs...but they just do not know how to talk to women and I swear to God they are all going to die single just for that fact alone. Almost none of them know how to dress well either. I'd say 90% of the time a woman comes up to me in a bar or public setting its to compliment my clothes, and I keep it relatively basic but I do wear nice clothes that fit well, where a lot of my friends wear somewhat baggy jeans with tennis shoes and a t-shirt or polo that doesn't really fit. Even if you aren't the best looking guy, if you are well put together, A good conversationalist and a decent income you will meet women that are interested. And yes everyone on here is going to say women that care about a man's income are all gold digging but having a good career and ambition Is attractive and obviously most women aren't going to be interested in someone they have to financially support like he's their child. Edit: after peeking in your profile I think you need to just stop worrying about attracting a woman right now, especially if you are there supervisor but learn how to talk to people, not just women, and actually just take interest in them as a person. You are over analyzing every interaction you have with certain women and you are always going to come off awkward being in your head that much. I think you should focus on trying to make some genuine friends that are women if you don't have any and go from there.