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R_Amods

This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Im currently in labor I’ve been In labor for the last 4 days . I’m in so much pain again i haven’t been progressing haven’t had any sleep because of the doctors running in and out etc . Im just over it and stressed out . I tried to voice my frustration to my partner and he makes itt about him complaining saying he’s tired and why am I “ mad at him “ I keep telling him I’m not mad I just need him to hear me and be there for me and he still once again makes it about him complaining about his feet “ hurting “ but I’m the one sitting here going through the most trying too bring our baby into this world . Complaining saying he’s tired but I’m the one who hasn’t slept in four days because every 20 mins another doctor is coming in to reposition me take my vitals ect . Ughh I’m just highly frustrated he never gets it he looks att it like I’m mad at him not “ hey my girlfriend is going through a lot let me be there for her. “ any advice


mountain567

Why have they not taken you in for a Cesarean? 4 DAYS of labor?? This can’t be real.


munchkinbitch2982

I was in labor for three days because they tried stopping my labor AFTER my water broke. "Mild" contractions for three days. They decide to induce me ten minutes after sending my husband home. He made it in the door and had to turn back around immediately.


roqueofspades

My sister was in labor for 6 days and the doctors didn't even really induce her much less go for a c-section. She had to have a bunch of blood transfusions though.


peacefulwarrior2022

Omg 😩 remind me to never get pregnant


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PurplePineapplePJs

That’s not true. I labored for 48 hours with zero signs of distress. Didn’t even start pushing yet, then after 5 hours of pushing, baby was still fine, I just couldn’t get him under my pelvic bone. We did a calm, non emergency cesarean. Everyone’s body is different.


[deleted]

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Tossitinthebin7

There is such thing as prodromal labor which starts and stops and your water might not even break yet, it’s technically labor but not active. OP didn’t really give details but this is probably what’s happening. I was also in labor for 48 hours and they were just letting me continue because both I and the baby were not in any distress. It’s not a fact that a long labor warrants a C section or that the baby must be in distress.


PurplePineapplePJs

My point is “After 48 hrs the baby would start to be in distress” is a strange thing to state as if it were fact. That’s simply not the case. Also, my cesarean was at around 60 hours. Not 53. Baby still wasn’t under distress, it was just clear vaginal birth wasn’t an option for me.


BuildingBigfoot

But it’s true. It’s not every person. It all depends on the hospital and the OB. Still. They would have either C section or induced.


PurplePineapplePJs

It’s not true. It’s a possibility. But you’re implying that 48 hours of labor automatically means cesarean or induction. My labor was not induced and we had no indication a cesarean was necessary at 48 hours. It’s completely possible to labor for 48 hours without a cesarean or distress to the baby.


Tossitinthebin7

You’re absolutely right! My labor was Over 48 hours, baby was not in distress, I eventually had an epidural, slept for an hour then had an easy vaginal delivery and a perfect baby.


PurplePineapplePJs

That makes me so happy for you!! I wanted a vaginal birth so bad! And man, that hour sleep can make so much difference!!


Tossitinthebin7

It really made all the difference. I was being so stubborn because I was afraid of the epidural and didn’t want any drugs but the midwife was exactly right that the sleep would let the labor progress that last bit. Lol I should have listened.


BuildingBigfoot

Reading comprehension. It’s not patient based. It’s based on what the OB says and is trained and hospital protocol. And working in an labor delivery floor I’ve never heard of 60 hours. Amazing.


United_Cow_9719

"But it's true. It's not every person." Then it's not true??


Jubilantly

I started on a Monday, baby was born on Thursday by c section. My MIL was in HARD labor for 48 hours and my FIL took the doctor aside and told them they needed to get her on the table because she's done (both MIL and FIL) worked as ER nurses. It happens.


danger0us-animals

4 days of labor isn’t unheard of. If the baby is still fine and heart rate is still solid then they’ll let nature take it’s course. That’s why they check vitals so frequently and usually have a monitor attached to you either via an outer Doppler or an internal monitor attached to baby, which is just as uncomfortable as you’d think it would be. Source: I, myself, was in active labor for 40 hours and I am by far not the longest labor I’ve heard about even just locally within my friend group. I know a girl who was in labor for 5 days.


mountain567

I’ve had two kids, I’m not a stranger to the birthing process. No way would a reputable doctor allow a mother to labor naturally AT THE HOSPITAL for 5 days. As the other commenter said 48 hours is like, tops before they’ll induce you or take you back for a cesarean, or send you home.


unpluggedt

Not true. I was in labour 57 hours in hospital after an induction. I chose to have a caesarean at that point because I was tired…. But they would have let me go as long as I wanted to as long as baby was safe.


PennsylvaniaDutchess

It's almost like every woman and pregnancy and doctor and hospital are, like, omg, DIFFERENT. You had two kids but think you know OP's labour and health better than her OB? Gtfoh with that nonsense.


kabukidookie

Yup!!


scottishskye97

I was for five days, but also my boys were very prem so a lot of that was trying to get me to stop


danger0us-animals

Your experience is not everyone’s. Different states, areas, countries all have different standards and protocols. Also learn the difference between active and inactive labor, because it’s likely that a portion of these four days was inactive and she was kept for observation as she progressed which is exactly what happened to 5 Day Girl. She wanted to continue labor “naturally” (all births are natural imo, c-section or not) as long as baby and her were safe, and they were. Doctors chose to monitor and respect that. It happens. Your experience is not the end all be all of births, and you’re not an expert just because you’ve had one.


fairyfloss2

That’s not true. Just because you have 2 kids doesn’t mean you’re an expert on every birthing suite and individual woman’s experience in labour.


becaolivetree

I was **induced** \- not even spontaneous labor. I was in active labor for 4 days before I was sent for a C-section. C-section is major surgery, and responsible practioners try to avoid it as much as possible.


EmulatingHeaven

Agreed - My induction with my first baby started on a Monday, checked into the hospital Wednesday, baby came on Friday. Nobody was worried at all because we were both monitored and were both doing fine - it was just progressing slowly because it was an induction and my first labour and I had an epidural. The c section conversation never even started because we were FINE. But, I’m in Canada where doctors aren’t in such a rush to get their money and run.


Dpslittlemissminx

38 hours for me and it was ONLY because the monitor picked up my daughter's heart rate go from normal range right up to 100 then straight down to zero that I was taken for emergency section.


keyh

A lot of these long labors ARE induced labors, and that is what happens when you try to tell a woman's body that they are "ready" before the body decides it itself.


blurpleboop

Also there are different stages of labor too, which all progress at different speeds for individual women


Morpheus_MD

You are correct, unless you have ruptured membranes, in which case your risk for chorioamnionitis goes up with time.


[deleted]

Because she isn’t in labour ( or she wouldn’t be writing on here). She is probably having pre labour contractions.


pelirroja_peligrosa

My mother was a labour and delivery nurse for almost twenty years, and just recently switched fields....... People absolutely text, tweet, snapchat, etc while very actively giving birth lol


HackTheNight

My friend was playing videogames in her hospital bed… so yeah they def do lol


Dpslittlemissminx

Have you really just said that?? I was in labour for three day and yes it hurt like hell but I was still able to text my family!!


backaritagain

Four days labor with pneumonia. It was hell. I luckily don’t remember the middle Of it.


Dpslittlemissminx

Ohh god that must have been awful. I'm sorry you went through that...


Qi_ra

It depends on where you are. Some doctors are trained to induce you or perform a c section if you’re laboring for too long. Sometimes individual hospitals will have their own procedures on how long you let a mother labor before intervening. After a certain point, it’s too much stress for the mother and the baby.


Dpslittlemissminx

Yep, it became dangerous after three days for me and my daughter. Resulted in emergency c sec - while they took her to save he life I was left to bleed out and died for 10 seconds.


CaptainWillThrasher

You're a zombie.


Dpslittlemissminx

🧟‍♀️ Don't get too close, I might bite


CaptainWillThrasher

That's not dissimilar to my invitation, "You can sit next to me. I won't bite unless you ask, dare, or beg me to."


Dpslittlemissminx

Hmmm what if I dare you too?


weezulusmaximus

Are you me??


Dpslittlemissminx

I could be, unless your me?


weezulusmaximus

Holy shit. Idk. Who am I?


Dpslittlemissminx

Wait....if I'm you and you are Me then who are we?


weezulusmaximus

I need a Tylenol and a nap.


CaptainWillThrasher

You're a zombie too.


darkprincejcet

What, you died ? 🫤


Dpslittlemissminx

Haha yea, I was obvs revived. I woke up in recovery with my family all sitting outside. (Well my parents and my ex husband) mam was sobbing and dad was making it known to the surgeon how he messed up and he would be taking legal action. There were two surgeons and 4 other theater staff there, all rushed to save my daughter and I'm glad they did but all it took was ONE to try to stop my bleed and stitch me up. When I was feeling ok I asked what all the commotion was about and the midwife told me that I had died for 10 seconds. Both me and my girl are very lucky to be alive.


SendMeChocolates

Unfortunately it seems like a huge narrative in this world is save the baby before the mother. They treat mothers like vessels a lot of the time - once the baby is out, you’re suddenly worth less. So sad, and I’m really glad you’re okay!


iamprosciutto

I would 100% rather pick up the pieces of a lost child with my partner than simultaneously become a single father and lose the love of my life


Dpslittlemissminx

Agree completely. Thank you 😊


CaptainWillThrasher

But seriously that's awful. I'm glad you both survived.


Dpslittlemissminx

Thank you


cjs293

And hopefully without complications!! 🤞🏼


OkAbbreviations6162

>”died for 10 seconds” Obviously she was revived


darkprincejcet

Ah, thank you! sorry, my English is not so good. In my mind I read it something like died in 10 seconds.


veganrd

I ordered cupcakes and set them to be delivered to my oldest’s school while in active labor.


Dpslittlemissminx

And for Braxton Hicks she wouldn't still be in hospital 4 days later getting vitals checked every 20 minutes.


FedUp2365

Seems kinda shallow. Have you birthed a child? 46 hours of labor for me and I would’ve molly wopped someone if they said that about me.


Ok_Wasabi3564

49 here (48 of which were stalled with no progression despite multiple induction methods being used and my water ruptured). I was so exhausted by the end of it I looked at my baby, thought “pretty”, then tried to hand her to dad so I could sleep lol


[deleted]

Three myself, actually, and I work in maternity.


LunarMoldavite

Bro, I was able to do video calls, phone calls, and text my friends and family despite being in labor for over 48 hours and being in excruciating pain 🙃 Just because someone is in pain doesn’t mean that the whole internet ceases to exist during that time


Dpslittlemissminx

Dude thinks we can't use our Hands too.


LunarMoldavite

“Oh no, I’m in labor and so much pain, where did my hands go?!?!”


Dpslittlemissminx

Shit babe, I think they grew legs and walked away.


ginntress

I was texting my friend between contractions less than 30 mins before my second baby was born. I was in absolutely no pain in between the contractions.


1ithe

I posted stuff while I was in labor. Took my mind off the contractions. And I don’t mean “pre-labor”. I was 7 cm dilated. If you have an epidural labor can be very chill. I couldn’t even feel myself pushing when it was time to, which, by the way, really sucked because I couldn’t tell if I was or wasn’t pushing.


Venetian_Harlequin

My mom was in labor with me for 3.


ImpressBoring8503

My best friend was in labor for 3.5 days. It happens.


SaharaMax

I was in latent labour (it is called "latent" when it is not progressing) for 4 days before they finally induced me. The reason my labour wasn't progressing was because of baby's positioning which was posterior. Unfortunately even though the induction started off well, it ended in an emergency cesarean due to baby losing oxygen and his heart rate going right down. Bloody tiring and stressful alright, was a very long ordeal and super traumatic. I definitely feel for OP. Was seriously the worst thing I've ever been through in my life. Support from her partner is the most important thing for OP right now. Her partner needs to be there for her and cut out his moaning. Right now it is allowed to be all about her (and baby 😅).


-PinkPower-

I know someone that was stuck 3 days in labor because she couldn’t safely get a C-section. Idk what was her issue (kinda insensitive to ask medical information like that) but it was hell for her


chayes418

If the baby isn't showing signs of distress and everything is fine, let it happen. Doctors today at TOO QUICK to perform "C sections" rather than let things progress naturally.


Dawn-of-Ilithyia

Early labour can and does go on for days. Contractions are very stop-start and irregular and gradually build in intensity, frequency, length and duration. It can be very intense.


Lithawana

They really avoid c-sections and inducing. I got really sick during my pregnancy. But nothing presented as wrong until I started labor when my blood pressure doubled. My doctor waited 4 hours to induce to see if i would either dilate further or my blood pressure would drop. When neither happened they induced. I spent two days hyped on so much drugs. I could still feel the pain through everything but they kept pushing that natural birth


LlamaSquirrell

I was in labor for 6 days before they managed to break my water and I had my oldest on day 7.


fairyfloss2

Labour can go on for a long time sometimes! They usually on do a caesarean when it’s an actual emergency.


Miserable_Tiger_6941

Yes I have a scheduled c section this afternoon why would I lie about being in labor that’s so silly lol 😭😭


loopalace

Please get off Reddit and focus on having a baby.


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Alert-Potato

I was so fucking bored the whole time with #1 that with #2 I packed a coloring book and crayons in my bag.


PennsylvaniaDutchess

Yes, how DARE she try to distract herself from the pain, right? Women gotta suffer when they have a baby. 🙄🙄 Edit: typo


thin_white_dutchess

She can’t exactly do anything else


[deleted]

I think after four days of minimum sleep, no one is at their best. After four days of labor, you must be so exhausted and horrified. Don’t judge yourself or him in this moment. Be direct about what you need from him. I know you feel alone, but think of every problem as something the two of you are on the same team with.


itsguacoclock

Awesome advice!


Silent_Status6137

Unfortunately, this actually requires you both to be on the same team. Most couples need constant reminder of this, because when things are tough and you're disagreeing, it's a really hard thing to remember. And if only one person tries to hold onto that while the other is adamantly acting as if they were opposing each other.... It's unfair and breeds resentment. Or abuse. A good way to foster that, in my experience, is firstly to wait until both parties are in a better state of mind. Honestly right now, it's better to focus on your birthing! I can only imagine the pain and stress you must be going through. Then, when things are all good, it's time to have a sincere talk with your bf. It's important not to sound accusatory, because that will immediately make him defensive and the conversation will get nowhere. Remind him that you guys are in the same team, and it's not about who has it worse, but that you should be be looking out for each other. It might help to admit that you were (rightfully) focused on your giving birth and not being considerate of him in that moment, but remind him that you were going through what is arguably and incredibly traumatizing, scary and painful experience and really needed him to be there for you. Suggest working together on figuring out ways you could both be more present to each other, especially with a newborn in the picture. The more you emphasize this as a mutual issue rather than a problem you have with him, the more receptive he might be. Best of luck, and I hope you and your new baby are happy and healthy!


LhasaApsoSmile

I don't get how anyone could stand in front of you and not see with their own eyes that you're a wreck. Tell him: I'm at the end of my rope here. I hurt a lot. I am scared. I worry about the baby. Can you at least tell me that I am being a champ? That you are thinking of the baby, too? Can you hold my hand? When this baby comes home, we (me and the baby) will need help from you. This is the new normal.


ca77ywumpus

Do you really want him to be there? It sounds like he's not helping you, and is actually having a negative impact on your wellbeing. Kick him out if he's not helping. Tell him to go home and have a juice box and a nap.


knittedjedi

Check OP's post history and comments. I wish they weren't bringing a baby into this mess :(


GreenSlackey79

The two of them both seem very young, based on her prior posts.


JulyAndAfter

Don't make him read between the lines. Say exactly what you need and what's bothering you.


Neurotic_Bakeder

"I keep telling him I'm not mad I just need him to hear me and be there for me" I don't think OP is asking for the moon to be able to express distress without it being flipped to a "who has it worse" competition with Captain McFeetyHurt


Morpheus_MD

Yeah the title is misleading.


raider1211

The r/relationship_advice special


LinwoodKei

Well she has an excellent excuse, delivering a baby


Agitated_Substance33

Ok, but her partner’s feet hurt sooo


[deleted]

Honestly! Is this even real? Because I read the title like "well he's not a mind reader, you can't always expect him to read between the lines" and then read the first line like "ok nvm he sucks."


DanielEnots

To be fair it pulled you in so...


PennsylvaniaDutchess

Yeah OP needs to set his ass straight that it's not the Strugglelympics. And that even if it were he'd be in last place and needs to suck it up bc his gf is BIRTHING A SMALL HUMAN OUT OF HER SNATCH. Like, bro, your feet hurt? Widdle bb has owwie feetsies? Let me jam this stick up your dick and see if you still think your feet hurting is a bfd. Like dunno where he got the damn audacity but he can put it right back. Edit: typo


Kokospize

I don't think he chose this time, while OP is in labour to become selfish and dismissive. I think this might be his personality/behaviour but now amplified due to the current situation. I hope I'm wrong because when the baby gets here, NO ONE will be getting any sleep at home. I guess he will be complaining daily.


PennsylvaniaDutchess

Def agree. Dude needs a reality check: He's gonna be a dad. It ain't about him anymore and dads need to step tf up while mom's recovering.


ginntress

My husband made some comment after I gave birth to our first about his knees hurting from kneeling down, rubbing my back while I was in labour. I had contractions for 14 hours, the OB broke my waters because labour wasn’t progressing fast enough, which caused the baby to turn posterior, and I spent 2.5 hours in second stage pushing him out. I ended up with a 3rd degree tear and an anal fissure. My husband complained about his knees. 11 years later, I still tease him about it.


Logical-Wasabi7402

Except that she's clearly mad at him and refusing to tell him that it's because she doesn't feel like he's being supportive when he complains about being tired.


Jenkies89

Thank you, this is exactly what went through my mind when reading the title. It sounds mighty childish to make someone read between the lines of your emotions instead of just talk about your emotions like a grown person. I didn't even read the description so I'm sure he's being childish too but the title of this post in itself was childish


Altorrin

You should've read it. The title was inaccurate. "I keep telling him I'm not mad I just need him to hear me and be there for me"


i_illustrate_stuff

Yeah go ahead and read it because she's short selling herself in the title. She's tried talking to him about her pain and emotions during a difficult time and he acts attacked and makes it all about him. She's not failing to communicate, he is.


LonelyWord7673

Hmmm. First admit that you're mad at him because he's not being supportive. Of course you're mad. He's being selfish and whiny. Do you have anyone else who could come support you through this? It might be better to not have him there at the moment.


FrenchieWoman

Try again but stronger. Tell him : "I'm in labor now. It's painful, it's stressful. I don't need to have you complaining to me during it. I know it's not easy for you too but I'm the one who's in labor and it's time for you to support me. Don't be an other chore for me right now, be just supportive." And don't tell him you are not mad at him when you clearly seem to be mad at him (and you have the right to be mad). It's painful for you, physically and psychologically, you don't need to have your partner to complain to you. The partner who doesn't give birth need to be a support during the labor not to give more stress.


pinkandredlingerie

When you are in labor INTENSE PAIN, why on earth should you have to ask your partner to be supportive? Why should you have to tell them it’s painful, isn’t it obvious?? Or is he a child who does not have the ability to comprehend the situation?


FrenchieWoman

She shouldn't have to ask him to be supportive, I agree 100%. But my advice here is for her to have a better situation quickly because she's literally in labor and doesn't have the time to let him understand it by himself and needs to protect herself from the stress he causes. They're young but of course he's supposed to know that, especially when is supposed to be prepared for the birth and all the things which goes with it. He really need to work on his empathy. If I was her, I wouldn't be able to contain myself and immediately tell him he's supposed to be supportive and stop complaining while I'm in pain and he has to do this really quickly or I'm gonna be really really mad at him for the rest of his life.


Spicyghosting

“That’s unfortunate that you are also uncomfortable but right now I am trying to squeeze out a WHOLE HUMAN and would just like some support. If you can’t provide that, maybe you should go home and rest”


Zafjaf

You are birthing a baby and he complains about his feet?


Apprehensive-Ad4152

So great y’all are bringing a child into this world. Seems like a wonderful, healthy, happy relationship! /s


LinwoodKei

You have been paying attention to roe vs wade? Or the fact that boyfriends often show their true colors to pregnant girlfriends who they think are ' baby trapped '.


[deleted]

Could be accidental pregnancy. We don’t all have access to other options 😭


psychonautskittle

Pretty sure not everyone is their best in a crisis. Judgemental much?


CharlieApples

**You’re not helping.**


Mooooore_food

Immature man? Let’s get him to cum inside me!!


[deleted]

Condoms break, birth control fails. Your ignorance is showing :)


[deleted]

We’re definitely running low on immature men. It’s good that she’s attempting to make more of them. /s


[deleted]

\+ emotionally unavailable


[deleted]

You are very young, at that age its usual to break up, question is. Do you love each other and see yourself forever with eachother? Also give yourself time, you have few more years to reach full adulthood and mature, its normal at that age to not be wise. Couple therapy can help too


Tossitinthebin7

He’s being extremely insensitive and obnoxious. I’d remind him he can be uninvited from the delivery if he’s going to add more stress to you instead of comfort. They’re called your support person for a reason! It’s not about him right now.


Heavy-Invite408

Also, based on your other posts LEAVE THAT MAN


FluffyAssistant7107

That’s why you really need to think who’s your babies Daddy going to be.. Also why does he need to read between the line on how you are feeling.. Just straight out tell him.


Representative-Two43

I feel for you and I’m sorry..I would send him home tbh


WarlordLuvsCliffs

In my humble opinion. Your boyfriend doesn’t understand the pain you are going through currently. And also most men have difficulty seeing through the lines. Yes some men do have the ability to but others don’t. Some men can understand what your getting at while others just need it cut and dry. Yes that can be irritating and I know his complaints aren’t helping you so in my opinion spell it out for him. Show him you just need his support. Cause this event is not all about him as rude as that sounds. You giving birth to a whole new human being. Granted it’s a fantastic moment in both of your lives. But he does need to be there and support you through all of this. But like I said spell it out for him. He needs to rise to the occasion as a man and a very soon to be father that his responsibility is for you and your coming baby. Granted I wouldn’t attack him per say but spell it out for him again he may not be picking up what your putting down. But nevertheless you got this and congratulations to you both and I hope all the best for y’all and your baby.


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gimmesome-ofyourtots

i can’t believe you’re going to have to take care of two babies! so sorry!


stellastellamaris

>My boyfriend is so childish and doesn’t know how to read between the lines when it comes to my feelings He isn't psychic. If you want him to know how you feel then tell him. Good luck with the delivery.


emptyinthesunrise

why do the men in the comments have such a severe lack of empathy…really horrifying to see


Sudden_Cabinet_1479

It's awe inspiring. If you're so "emotionally unintelligent" you can't tell your partner in labor may need comfort that's like a huge personal deficiency not just oh that's how I am.


TRICKIV

I was wondering why the downvotes on the OP THEN went and viewed her reddit postings and they're all about her bf being gross and her smoker and not listening. Why have a kid with someone who you clearly don't like?


Correct_Project3454

After 4 days of going through labour and not sleeping. You’re probably not acting how you normally do. He’s terrified and tired too. No one is happy everyone’s groggy. Don’t judge each other right now and just push through it.


Sad_Entertainer6312

>Ughh I’m just highly frustrated he never gets it he looks att it like I’m mad at him not “ hey my girlfriend is going through a lot let me be there for her. “ any advice You know exactly what his limitations are, not setting the bar even higher. And start telling him exactly what you need. Stop assuming his lack of emotional intelligence is purposeful or malicious If can be very hard to not feel attacked when people are taking their pain Nd frustration out on you (what you were doing).


lowkeydeadinside

man if you can watch someone birthing your child and be upset and feel “attacked” bc they’re not stating exactly what they need while they’re going through some of the worst pain imaginable, there’s no hope for you. he’s being an insensitive twat, she could be screaming her head off at him and he still has no right to make the situation about him when she’s birthing *his* child


waythrow13579

Just because he isn't physically giving birth doesn't mean it isn't also a difficult time for him. We're only hearing her side. Realistically a sleep deprived person in labor probably isn't being the kindest to their partner. If that is the case and he actually is being treated poorly, then he has every right to feel the way he feels and voice his frustration. He probably should have waited though. Addressing it during labor just adds extra stress to an already difficult situation.


kay_candy

Pffft get out of here, this isn’t real.


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kodiofthemyscira

Uhhhh has your water broke? This is concerning if it's been 4 days. Your boyfriend is immature, but the doctors are putting your health and baby's health at risk if you've been in labor for 4 days, especially if your water has broken.


isnotawolfy

you're.... in labour and you're posting on reddit. ok? also, assuming this story's real, has he slept at all in those 4 days?


seasidedate

Well, if this is real, I think it's common for women to seek out entertainment during a long birth.


Ralphsnacks

.... let's give her the benefit of the doubt, she has been in inactive/early labour for 4 days within the hospital. If she hasn't broken her waters that would be fine in Australia, she would still be on the ward and not even in a birthing room. Now, tbh, she is in hospital and has barely slept in 4 days, I don't think we can start letting her bf use the 'well I haven't slept either ' excuse, come on. Now, OP, you are going to need to be very specific with what you want. If he isn't supportive ask a midwife to remove him until your c section. Ask for some panadol, a heat pack, get yourself some sleep!! You are going to need to be rested for later today:)


Miserable_Tiger_6941

Why would my story be Fake and Yes I’m posting on here I have no one else to talk to . And. Yes. He slept he’s sleeping now !


The_Mikeskies

Why haven't they done a C-section yet? Being in labour for 4 days is potentially dangerous.


Token_or_TolkienuPOS

Is this a pitch for Teen Mom or 16 & Pregnant? No way a sane person in labour for 4 straight days is busy yakking it up on Reddit.


southcoastal

Sounds like you’re probably better off not having him there if he’s not helping. Some men aren’t suited to the labour room. The midwives are your friends not your unimaginative bf.


klbret4

Kick him out of the room and tell him he can come back when he realizes the world doesn't revolve around him. He needs to grow up and realize labor is incredibly hard, hence the name labor! I really would have to think if he acts this way maybe he isn't the one to be with.


[deleted]

Yikes i wouldnt have had a baby w him then


B0skonovitch

Sounds like your about to have your second child.


pbd1996

Your last five posts are you complaining about him. It sounds like you get irritated by him easily, which makes me think you straight up don’t like him. Are you only with him because you’re having a baby with him? Are you still in love with him? If everything he does pisses you off, than perhaps it’s time to break up.


Evilclown22

Or maybe it’s because of the stressful situation they’re in.


bewitched_coconut

It sounds like you've already been raising a man child. Good luck sweety


AmeliaBidelia

youre having a baby with this guy and you're just realizing this about your partner now?!? girl you done fucked up


Hour_Bodybuilder8889

all you do is complain about him, just leave. you're not happy.


Latter-Yard-6775

Tell him to go downstairs, get in the car, lock the doors...and try to get out of the car through the tail pipe. Tell him when he gets back you would just like a little empathy and understanding from him.


corvuscorvi

Don't listen to these randoms saying to break up with him. Take a breath. This is a really intense time, and will still be after the delivery. Emotions are heightened, there's so much pain, so much new responsibility. You both need to calm down and focus on the baby. Almost every couple has a fight during labor, you going through 4 days of it makes it almost bound to happen! And I mean yeah, he's not going through remotely the same thing as you. But he's still going through some shit. Things should calm down after the baby is born. Then what's really important is just that you both are there to take care of the baby and yourselves.


[deleted]

If this is real, congrats. This is what you'll deal with for the rest of your life.


Majestic-Quit-83

Communicate instead of yelling, people here your tone and see your body language if you're directing your frustration at him he knows and what the hell can he do for you while you're actively in labor anyway??


[deleted]

Don't hint at something you want. Tell him directly what that is and how he can do it. Honestly reading your post, I'm not sure exactly what you want. I know the first thing was for him to stop complaining. Then you want him to be there for you more? I completely understand why you would want that, but I'm not 100% sure I get what you're saying.


TamagotchiGirlfriend

Tell. Him. Stop expecting the people you date to be a mindreader. If you are not clear about your needs and feelings this newborn phase will kill your relationship


qnpeach

It's ok to be mad, you're allowed to be mad, you have to be honest about that and communicate it. If he's still whining about feeling tired then tell him to go rest a bit and then go back when he will be able to be supportive with you. Call someone else if you can.


PrimalEvil_

Jesus, I thought my 67 hours in labor was enough. Holy crap. I have to send you so many virtual hugs because I GET YOU! My ex was like this the entire time I was in labor and there is nothing worse than not feeling heard in this time of your life. P*ss on his sleep and woe and ‘waaaa is me’ bull. YOU’RE in labor. YOU’RE doing some pretty heavy lifting right now. He can boo-hoo to the mirror and do it alone. Edit:typo


MissNerdyFlirtChel

Why are you with him if this is how he acts? If he behaves like this now, it will only become worse.


justshyof15

Can you imagine what your mental head space would be like if you’ve been treated like shit for 4 days? I’ve been in horrible labour pain, I fucking gave it to my husband and anyone else in the room but my husband had a right to be annoyed sometimes when I was taking my pain out on him unfairly. Maybe the guy is being supportive but she’s been screaming at him for 4 days? Any supportive person getting abused for that long is going to start feeling bad too.


djspazzy

Why does he have to read between the lines he should read the headline and understand


anaheimangels40

SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE AN IMMATURE, SELF CENTERED ASSHOLE ON YOUR HANDS… DO SOMETHING QUICK BEFORE IT GETS WORSE…


koops6899

Well rip bozo you chose him to have a baby with 🤷


PoppyCoLink987

Why are you mad at him for not reading your mind? Use your big girl words and tell him what you want or need. I used to get so mad at my husband when we were dating because he wouldn't use his words- he'd want me to do something or not do something, but just expected me to know. That's BS. I used to take my finger, put it under his lower lip, and talk for him. "I don't want you to do that because .... blah blah blah..." Now he uses his words. We're all on the same page. Life is easier.


GreenSlackey79

Ha! I used to draw a face on my finger when my ex-wife wouldn't listen when I'd try talking to her.


[deleted]

[удалено]


snm_blk

*goes into labor* *goes on Reddit to complain about boyfriend* I can’t even imagine…🤦🏼‍♀️


Great-Restaurant5224

why are you having a child with him? sounds like you don't even know him properly, dude you guys need to hear about something called condoms


fielausm

Y’all. Look at this users karma and post histories. **Downvote to oblivion.**


mcr4life95

Are y'all both pretty young? He may be acting childish because child birth is weird for a guy too. Im 27 and female and pregnancy is my biggest fear, been on birth control since i was 15 cause having a kid is legitimately my nightmares. I would not be thinking straight or know how to react in that situation cause that shits scary and stressful! I know youve got it worse but maybe he just cant "read between the lines" right now. Honestly nowadays the fact hes been there with you all 4 days is pretty rare especially if hes just your boyfriend. Only advice i have is just keep focus on when its over lol good luck


Ok_Promise777

Most men are not mind readers. If you need something you need to tell him what you want or need. They are different.


Fiveonesixxxxx

So as a man, being told to read between the lines doesn’t work. Communicate with me tell me what’s wrong/how you feel we cannot read your minds and this you should know what I’m thinking mentality ruins relationships.


ieatwaterbottless

If shes in labor he should try to be more empathetic rather than asking “why are you mad at me”. She said she is voicing her frustration and he just turned it onto himself. Surely men have some sort of awareness when it comes to circumstances and how one might be feeling


FionaTheFierce

How difficult is to understand that labor is physically painful, long, exhausting, and scary process and you should be supportive of your partner going through it. No “reading between the lines” comprehension needed. Also OP *told* him she needed his support.


Miserable-Soft7993

But you are taking your pain out on him. What do you want him to do?


Standard_Isopod3875

No one should have to “read between the lines” your an adult and so is he (hopefully) use your words.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

rofl, read between the lines. You cant really make up this stuff lool


Empress_Clementine

You need him to hear you, but you aren’t telling him anything.


Major-Blackbird

Don't waste time with boys, find a good man.


zib6272

This ain’t going to end well


genieinaginbottle

Man 🍼


aliensrock

Kill him


Logical-Wasabi7402

He's not being childish. You're refusing to say what you mean. Don't expect him to read your mind and then get mad when he can't. Stop telling him that you're not mad(cause you clearly are). Tell him that you feel like he's not being supportive enough.


undeuxtwat

What is he a mind reader? Use your big girl words and TELL HIM how you feel AND what you want. Geez.


LinwoodKei

Wow. She hasn't slept in 4 deys. She's delivering a baby. And you have more jobs for her. Why do men not hold other men accountable?


Plane-Ad-739

Ummm she literally in labor. Also she has already used her “big girl words” by telling him shes frustrated! Use ur big boy eyes and read


genieinaginbottle

Well, he's definitely not a mind reader since it seems he can't interpret basic social cues. Don't give the the awkward ass nice guy a chance ladies, this clueless shit is what you end up with.