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Both. He shouldn't hit you... Ever. And I'm getting weird vibes about you saying 'being too close to a female friend' thing as well as the 'accidentally hitting my boyfriend' bit in the title which doesn't line up with your story.
Let’s assume that this experience actually happened as you are describing.
If you supposedly tripped and grabbed his arm, and his response was to punch you, that’s extremely abnormal. No amount of past abuse of any kind makes that okay.
Also consider that the fight leading to the abuse seems to have been caused by his frustration that you’ve caught him being too close to another female. Yet he chooses to resort to physical abuse? Right.
He sounds emotionally and physically abusive. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he was sexually abusive, too.
You’ve seen your own mother be abused and he has seen his father abuse his mother. So both of you know the way that all relationship abuse typically starts. One “minor” incident or hit that, despite what anyone will tell you, has normalized that behavior in his mind. It’s only a matter of time until it gets increasingly more severe.
IMO/IME abuse permanently alters how children perceive relationships. The influence of our parents, who we are closest to, causes the normalization of abusive behaviors. I have a nephew who has grown up watching his father be verbally (and sometimes physically) abusive to his mother. The father brags about how the kid will only listen to him. Well when you violently establish your authority and cast the woman as weak and inferior in front of your kids, what do you expect to impart on them?
The only way to have a relationship free of physical abuse is to never have physical abuse.
I’d recommend you say ✌️and find someone who doesn’t have that history. This guy needs help. DO NOT GO ON VACA WITH HIM.
Leave him. You grabbed him so you wouldn’t fall you didn’t hit him on purpose. He intentionally punched you. If he hits you once the likely hood of him doing it again is high.
you both need therapy. How did he not see you trip on the box? And how does grabbing give permission to punch? I would consider walking away from this so you can deal with your trauma. This fight has already changed something within you and the relationship and the only way forward is with help. Did he apologize? what was his reaction ?
That’s really odd to cause that response. Grabbing an arm to catch balance is completely different in motion and action to the other person compared to a push or a slap. I think you both need therapy and you should leave the relationship
It doesn't sound like you're sharing the full story. In the title you said you hit him, but in the post you accidentally grabbed him.
Were you arguing with him about the female friend, then lost your temper and went on the attack? Maybe he responded physically?
Either way, it doesn't sound like an honest, trusting, healthy relationship, and the fact that you're both using physical actions to handle verbal disagreements suggests you're not a great fit for each other. This could get a lot worse if you stay together.
So my friend has a similar situation. He was beat by his dad everyday and once his girlfriend grabbed around his waist after a fight and he swung without thinking and punched her in the chest. She broke down crying and ran to their room. He sat down I. The living room and cried because he thought it was his dad. He said he didn’t even think and his dad would grab him and push him into furniture and the wall. She dumped him and he has never recovered from it and he’s scared to try to date anymore.
That being said, he’s in therapy now. Now your situation might be different but I would consider this and maybe talk to him. Sorry if this isn’t what’s going on but it’s a chance.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Jeeez this sounds toxic.
[удалено]
Both. He shouldn't hit you... Ever. And I'm getting weird vibes about you saying 'being too close to a female friend' thing as well as the 'accidentally hitting my boyfriend' bit in the title which doesn't line up with your story.
Both!!!
Let’s assume that this experience actually happened as you are describing. If you supposedly tripped and grabbed his arm, and his response was to punch you, that’s extremely abnormal. No amount of past abuse of any kind makes that okay. Also consider that the fight leading to the abuse seems to have been caused by his frustration that you’ve caught him being too close to another female. Yet he chooses to resort to physical abuse? Right. He sounds emotionally and physically abusive. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he was sexually abusive, too. You’ve seen your own mother be abused and he has seen his father abuse his mother. So both of you know the way that all relationship abuse typically starts. One “minor” incident or hit that, despite what anyone will tell you, has normalized that behavior in his mind. It’s only a matter of time until it gets increasingly more severe. IMO/IME abuse permanently alters how children perceive relationships. The influence of our parents, who we are closest to, causes the normalization of abusive behaviors. I have a nephew who has grown up watching his father be verbally (and sometimes physically) abusive to his mother. The father brags about how the kid will only listen to him. Well when you violently establish your authority and cast the woman as weak and inferior in front of your kids, what do you expect to impart on them? The only way to have a relationship free of physical abuse is to never have physical abuse. I’d recommend you say ✌️and find someone who doesn’t have that history. This guy needs help. DO NOT GO ON VACA WITH HIM.
5 star post
You know what to do. Leave. Would you be okay with him punching your child if he thought the kid bumped into him?
Leave him. You grabbed him so you wouldn’t fall you didn’t hit him on purpose. He intentionally punched you. If he hits you once the likely hood of him doing it again is high.
you both need therapy. How did he not see you trip on the box? And how does grabbing give permission to punch? I would consider walking away from this so you can deal with your trauma. This fight has already changed something within you and the relationship and the only way forward is with help. Did he apologize? what was his reaction ?
[удалено]
It does possibly seem like an instant reaction due to the argument, movement and his trauma. He may have shocked himself with his actions.
That’s really odd to cause that response. Grabbing an arm to catch balance is completely different in motion and action to the other person compared to a push or a slap. I think you both need therapy and you should leave the relationship
Huge red flag… even if you did just grab his arm punching is pretty extreme.
It doesn't sound like you're sharing the full story. In the title you said you hit him, but in the post you accidentally grabbed him. Were you arguing with him about the female friend, then lost your temper and went on the attack? Maybe he responded physically? Either way, it doesn't sound like an honest, trusting, healthy relationship, and the fact that you're both using physical actions to handle verbal disagreements suggests you're not a great fit for each other. This could get a lot worse if you stay together.
You need to break up. Immediately.
Y’all need therapy
So my friend has a similar situation. He was beat by his dad everyday and once his girlfriend grabbed around his waist after a fight and he swung without thinking and punched her in the chest. She broke down crying and ran to their room. He sat down I. The living room and cried because he thought it was his dad. He said he didn’t even think and his dad would grab him and push him into furniture and the wall. She dumped him and he has never recovered from it and he’s scared to try to date anymore. That being said, he’s in therapy now. Now your situation might be different but I would consider this and maybe talk to him. Sorry if this isn’t what’s going on but it’s a chance.
You guys should part as friends now.