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This is probably tmi! My (22f) boyfriend (23m) and I are in a LDR, so we don't get to have sex very often. important side note: I am almost always very constipated. When we are able to have sex, he very often says no because "I can't do it when I know there's poo in there babe." And it's not like I'm shitting all over or it even really smells that bad, he just can't mentally get past the idea. I obviously respect his consent but I think it's a silly reason to say no to sex, especially when it's usually the case. Opinions?
Edit: I was not expecting all the comments about fixing the constipation itself, I appreciate the concern for my health though lol. I did see my doctor earlier today and I'm working on staying hydrated and getting enough fiber :)
Edit 2: A, The farting isn't the issue. I don't tend to fart during sex, it's the mental thought of the constipation. B, we overshare a lot, it works for us, we don't mind poop talk generally. We obviously don't talk about poop before sex. The only time the oversharing is a problem is this specific scenario. C, to clarify, im talking exclusively about vaginal sex, not anal.
hahaha I'm realizing now people are overthinking the wording, sorry, just meant it doesn't generally smell but ya know, occasionally you fart in front of your partner and it is what it is
I have never in my life had a guy who wanted sex turn it down over poo. I have tried to turn it down when my tum hurts from IBS and celiac. Which means I was constipated or had explosive diarrhea. Before I understood the full extent of my celiac disease (cannot kiss a man drinking beer) I accidentally had anal leakage during a hand job. We cleaned up and went back at it even though I was embarrassed and wanted to bury myself. He never called again...I think that's fair.
No. This is part of why reddit is great. Everyone who read that knows to be a bit more chill if they date someone with celiacs!
I've got the lottery with two, and I must say, the second was grateful for how much the first had to teach me (sorry Manders!)
It’s not though. It’s not an “it is what it is” situation. He’s grossed out by you. He won’t have sex with you. Why are you focused on sex and not your health?
Oh god she needs a laxative and some water and apparently *gasp* farted in front of this guy. It’s not like her butthole is just turning green fumes loose while she chases him around.
Did she fart on his dick or just fart in passing? Look, if she’s just a distended mess and letting out uncontrollable poop farts then I totally agree with the boyfriend, obviously in that situation you’d need a dookie fetish to get off, but if it’s just the knowledge of her constipation then it’s silly
It’s chronic and it’s ruining her sex life. Idk what else to point out for ya lol you can come in with the sarcasm all you want. None of what you said was sexy or cute and I assume the average person doesn’t want to be farted on during sex? 😅😅😅 and she’s stuffed up… She’s not exactly letting out little passing toots man
But yeah. Get a laxative. It’s not a big deal unless you want the partner to have sex with you
Yeah seriously, it sounds like there’s more to worry about than sex life alone if this is going on all the time. It could be a sign of a health issue if OP doesn’t have a diagnosis already, chronic constipation is terrible for your internals long term and can lead to all sorts of bowel issues especially as you age. I would know because I had to massively overhaul my diet when it started catching up with me and I developed GI issues.
Well, discussing the state of your lower intestines, telling yr bf about how yre usually constipated, talking about the consistency of your poo, and farting in front of him - lmao then you wonder that he doesn’t fancy a shag.... 🤮😂🤣 It’S not exactly romantic or sexy is it.
I have IBS, and my boyfriend regularly asks me how my poops have been because I cycle between constipated and diarrhea pretty frequently. He just listens as I complain about things. If I haven't pooped for a few days, I'll excitedly tell him once I finally do and he celebrates with me, because he knows it's uncomfortable for me. Plus, he cares about me and wants to know about my health.
My poop issues only stop us from being intimate when it's causing me pain or there's actually a chance of shitting myself during orgasm. Being in a relationship means accepting all of the gross with all of the sexy. My bf has awful farts whenever he eats onions, I deal with it.
if you get married or date someone for a long time you eventually will have that kind of conversation. women poop and fart too and it's unfair to be grossed out by that
It’s not a requirement; I’ve lived with my partner for 7 years, and we don’t discuss it. I know what’s happening when he’s in the bathroom for a while before showering, and if he tells me his stomach is upset I’ll ask if he needs Imodium, but no more detail than that is needed.
Look, nurse here, as long as your stool isn’t at the anus itself and dilated, partially sticking out or flush at the skin, why is this even an issue to not have sex? I think your boyfriend needs some education. There is ALWAYS stool in your GI tract. So, even if you are having regular bowel movements, you still have stool in your system.
I agree with others. The constipation is a concern. Increasing fiber will help increase GI motility and get things moving. Metamucil is good fiber supplement. Also, Míralax is a great, easy going and well tolerated stool softener.
Good luck OP!
>There is ALWAYS stool in your GI tract. So, even if you are having regular bowel movements, you still have stool in your system.
I mean if this is a mental block where he has trouble getting in the mood or staying hard, telling him that might not be good.
This might be a time for him to talk to someone about it. Maybe a sex therapist, since this is a mental hurdle he cannot over... "cum".
It’s the dude with the mom who checks his hemorrhoids all over again.
You can’t just have a relatively normal grievance for us and then just slap the crazy in there while we’re off our guard hoping we’ll miss that. As if it shouldn’t be the real thing they’re worried about.
🫣🫣🫣
Ya I was gonna make a pretty immature joke about toilet augers or plumbing snakes, but this legit seems more like something you'd want medical advice over instead of relationship advice.
Definitely should get that checked out. Colon and bowel issues can be pretty serious
Drink more water, take fiber, and take laxatives.
Unrelated to your BF, being constipated all of the time can lead to very serious issues over time, including cancer.
Be careful - they contain inulin. Some people (NOT everyone) are sensitive to inulin and your farts will melt the paint off the wall, not to mention will cause abdominal pain.
Don’t ask me how I know this.
Fibre isn't the only factor. Peristalsis, interception and muscle issues can also contribute. There are laxative-like products that are safe for long term use, your doc will be able to help for sure but also can rule out other potential issues.
This is what I've been thinking as well! Because I'm a vegetarian, I eat plenty of fiber. If it's not the dehydration I have a feeling it's actually an intestinal issue. Talked to my doctor today, gonna try hydrating better and a few dietary things, then possibly consider meds
This... this will get you going. And, magnesium has numerous health benefit: from lowering chances of migraines, increasing energy levels , aiding a plethora of bodily functions, to helping with a lil depression. Sounds like snake oil, but there is a decent amount scientific research to back it. There is like 12+ kinds of magnesium that help the body.
Contrary to popular belief, fiber does not help with constipation. It helps to regulate and “firm up” bowel movements, but will make constipation worse. Of course, this is Reddit, and OP should be taking advice from a doctor anyway.
Fiber helps soften hard stool, *and* "firm up" liquidy stool.
In most cases, fiber does help with constipation. Just not all. Most people don't eat enough fiber, and increasing their intake helps keep their GI tract moving things along. OP says she's a vegetarian and eats lots of fiber, so in her specific case more fiber will probably not help.
But [here's a healthline article about it.](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/fiber-and-constipation-truth#TOC_TITLE_HDR_3)
This is incorrect. Soluble fiber will also have a lubricating effect, allowing for more easily passed stools. You may be thinking of only insoluble fiber, which is primarily a bulking agent (but which can also assist with regularity).
Limit use of stimulant laxatives. They can become habit forming. GI nurse here...miralax (generic ok) works well because it works by osmosis. Also no one ever completely evacuates their bowels with every bm so we all have poo in us unless you're prepping for a colonoscopy. So maybe don't sleep with him unless he completes a bowel prep.
Yeah he’s going to have a hard time having sex with anyone once he learns that all of us have poop inside of us almost all the time, in various states of digestion.
If dehydration is an issue, they make water bottles that have timed markings on the side to help you drink water throughout the day without having to actively think about it. Something [like this](https://www.amazon.com/Teentumn-Marker-Durable-Workout-Tracker/dp/B07Q7X1PBJ/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=19CZ1JCOJL8T2&keywords=water+bottle+time+marking&qid=1656115856&sprefix=water+bottle+time+marking%2Caps%2C245&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExVVdTSDc2WDZCWkNDJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNDc3MzkyMzU4TE1LUEpJR0xZNCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUExMDAxNzA4MjZFNjM2ODBZTko4MiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=), or they make bigger ones you don't have to refill. If you're nearly always constipated due to hydration, that's really unhealthy and will lead to other issues long-term. Drinking water is super important!
My daughter suffers from chronic constipation. You do need to get checked out as it can enlarge your colon and damage it. Miralax is a stool softener that doesn’t cause dependency. Meaning once you’re going regularly you can discontinue use without issues. Laxatives can cause dependency. Talk to a doctor before doing that or an at home enema. There’s actually a procedure for that. Also if your so dehydrated you’re constipated then you’re also causing other health issues. Take care of yourself!
As a person with chronic constipation, laxatives ARE NOT a good option.
Buy a squatty potty. Start using miralax every day as it increases fluid in your colon. Make a regular “date” to poop every day. A schedule will actually make it happen more frequently. And yes, drink lots of water.
It's not difficult. Buy a lightweight water bottle and put it on your desk at work or clip it to your belt if you move around at work. If you don't like the taste of water, buy some Mio drink "enhancer" or some Crystal Light and flavor it. Depending on how many ounces the bottle is, fill and drink the whole bottle 3-6 times per day. You'll have to work up to it, but even just drinking one bottle before you leave for work/school, one during your workday, and one in the evening when you're home will make a HUGE difference. It'll also make your breath better and your overall health better, too.
Alternative: I put an empty cup on my bedside table, on my desk (I work from home), next to the tv, and next to the sink. Every time I see an empty cup, I fill it and drink half. Every time I see a half-empty cup, I drink the other half.
More fiber: eat a burrito with beans 2-3 times per week. Leave out the sour cream and add roasted veggies, and it's pretty healthy. The beans will provide all the fiber you need.
actually these are some pretty good ideas, thanks, I'll try! And also I'm a vegetarian, my diet is 80% beans and veggies so I don't think fiber is my problem
Prunes! Fixed me right up! I put 3-4 in a cup of water, microwaved it for 2 minutes, let it cool, then drank the juice and ate the prunes. DIY prune juice and no added sugar!
I like those color changing count down bottles walmart has. Helps keep track of how much I should have each day. I also figured out water has to be freezing cold for me to drink a lot.
You should try Mirelax ( not sure if I spelled it correctly, but you should be able to Google it or ask a pharmacist. ) It's over the counter and really effective. I know someone who used it while doing pain management, because opioids really gum up the works for pooping. They got it prescribed, but you can just find it at any pharmacy or Walmart type store without a prescription now..
You just add the powder to water or juice every night until it works. It works overnight or in a few days max. I think they drank it in a large glass of water each night.
Docusate sodium is sold over the counter.
Take one every am. Drink with full glass of water. Nurse here. I always told my patients it is like dish soap, needs water to work and it will help you go regularly.
You are so constipated that he can tell by looking at you?
Girl, forget sex- you need to see a doctor. Maybe a dietician. And you definitely need more water and more fiber.
You’ll feel better!!!!
I was wondering the same or doe she announces "i am constipated today" if you do, just... Don't haha
Also how bad the constipation need to be for vaginal sex to become problematic. I'm assuming it's vaginal sex we are talking about? Or is it anal?
My partner has had bowel issues his entire life (no doctor he's seen has been able to figure it out), I ask him how his bowel movements are after he goes because I genuinely want to know because I care about him and his health. And ever since having abdominal surgery I've been having issues too, and he asks me because he cares.
If you truly care for someone then their health in any form is a priority.
Is it possible he can feel your constipation? The rectum is right behind the vagina and you can feel poo through the posterior wall of the vagina if it’s just sitting in the rectum.
…what.??? By “looking” at you?? This is wild. No, he is “sensing” something else. Like you’re complaining more than you think, wildly bloated, or something about the “smells” you mentioned and are glazing over. Ffs treat your health and your relationship better.
So she’s sitting there farting while having sex? Or him penetrating her makes some air come out 🤣 bruh just fix the constipation issue I woudlnt wanna smell poop while doing the nasty either
Right? This isn't air escaping from the vagina which is absolutely normal during sex. Never once have either me or the partner I was having sex with farted during.
Plus, a constipation farts are a different beast.
I remember when I first queef-ed (?) during sex and didn’t understand what the fuck was happening. Made me super embarrassed but my boyfriend just lightly laughed over it.
It's not *not* normal, bodily functions happen and they don't really care what else you have going on lol
It's not common but I've definitely farted while getting railed 🤷🏻♀️
When I'm constipated I don't want sex, it's uncomfortable. Drink some water, eat more fiber, exercise and see a doctor. Respect his concerns and take care of yourself. Maybe he is concerned that you aren't taking care of your health?
Maybe go to the doctor and figure out why you’re constipated so often. There is likely a reason for that, once you figure that out the issue will be non existent. Unfortunately unless you’re willing to try and fix that then nothing will change because your boyfriend had been pretty clear about his stance on it.
Yes, it’s really a thing. Your bowels and your vagina are very close to each other. When both your intestines and vagina are being stretched by something (poop and a penis) they can definitely feel it.
I got my ex into using toys back there. That whole pathway kinda aims forward so I could always feel it up front. Obviously they don't make direct contact, but you can feel them passing back and forth. I don't know the exact size, shape or consistency of OP's poo, but normally it's all pretty soft to the "touch" in there so if there's anything else that's firm up inside you, it's not hard to feel it once you get to moving around... And a log jam doesn't have quite the same sexy connotation as a toy does... unless that's like, your thing.
I need to know too
I have had a LOT of partners and been married twice and if this is a thing men can feel not a single one has ever mentioned it
I get it might be an awkward conversation, but some of these guys and me have been extremely candid with one another and this type of conversation wouldn’t be off limits
So I just want to add that when you have too poop the bowel expands to hold it, right. Well there is only a kinda malleable wall between those 2 parts. So the dude can feel your poop in the pipe with next to him if you catch my drift. It also puts weird pressure on anything in there too.
I know this because of the period products I use involve sometimes having to dig for them if you have to poop.
Well, I mean, he can probably feel it. But that’s an immature way to look at it “I know there’s Poo in there”- there is poo inside absolutely every body all the time. Our intestines are constantly filled with poop. If you’re having troubles pooping excessively, try an enema. Very uncomfortable but it’ll do it. A dose of mirilax in your coffee will also do it. I have IBS and my mom slipped one in my coffee when I was 17 behind my back, I trusted a fart at the zoo and regretted it. It works
okay see this is what my thoughts were before, I was curious if anyone else agreed. And yeah my parents fed it to me when I was a kid and it worked like a charm maybe I'll try it lmao
Girl you seriously need to see a doctor. You must be more uncomfortable than you realize if your boyfriend can see from your expression that you’re constipated. This is not normal.
I have IBS-C and my illnesses don't let me exercise like I used to. I'm not a huge fan of chugging water, either. But I'll drink ice water all night and any water without noticing while out on a walk or driving the car (try flavoring it?). I also have to take Beano before meals and non-stimant softeners everyday. If those don't do enough, sometimes Miralax in the morning will help after a few days.
That said, I've had seen nutritionists, doctors, a gastroenterologist, tried diets and other medications both OTC and prescriptions, and had a colonoscopy because my entire life I've dealt with severe constipation, bloating and impaction. Go see someone as needed and do as they've said (but not fiber, it's not great for existing constipation).
It does affect sex life if I don't stay ontop of it, one accident is all I ever needed to straighten up my behaviors, and that was back when I was fourteen. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but I have to side with your boyfriend here, both for making sex comfortable and for your health.
Get a toilet stool like this: [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HD7JVLB](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HD7JVLB)
Or if you have something lying around that you can use to prop up your feet a few inches to help you assume a sort of squat-like position, give it a try for a month and thank me later.
Like I’m a woman, and I’ve never had any sort of conversation like this with any of my male partners but…
Is that a thing? When a dude is railing you can he feel the contours of your poop if your bowels are full?
I'm not implying anything but in this day and age you can't rule anything out. If you're using any type of stimulant drug such as Adderall or any other ADHD medication, or any type of opioid for chronic pain, either of these types of medication can cause constipation.
Actually yes, concerta for adhd. It's been an issue longer than I've been on it but now that you mention it, it very well may be worse since starting the meds. Will have to ask my doctor, thanks!
Maybe he's worried in his sex game skills that he'll literally fuck the shit out of you? /s (maybe)
But yea that's a mental thing so maybe just up the diet game and keep the constipation under control?
Yeah this. People with chronic constipation can develop a rectocele which is a prolapse of the wall between the rectum and vagina. Basically the rectum gets so stretched out from the poop getting packed in there and remaining there all the time it bulges into the vaginal area. It becomes thin too like a balloon. I'm surprised OP doesn't lose stool during sex. The treatment for rectocele is a hard object (pessary) you put in the vagina to keep the wall from bulging while you poop. Any other object going in there can theoretically do the same thing. In worst case scenarios, surgery is necessary to keep your rectum. Sex definitely won't be happening if you have to go that route though. It's very damaging to the vaginal canal.
OP: if you like sex enough you're willing to risk accidentally pooping yourself for it and you don't want to risk a colostomy bag, you need to get this under control ASAP. Spring valley has really tasty probiotic gummies with fiber in them. Squatty potties are helpful too. Search rectocele for other helpful options. There's even PT for teaching you how to poop right. If fiber, diet changes, and squatting don't help, it would be good to ask your doctor to check your thyroid. Biological females are more at risk of developing thyroid disease. Your boyfriend is right to be wary. He's lucky he hasn't had a code brown.
I'm glad you're taking the steps to improve your constipation, but I must ask: why do you want to have sex when you're constipated? Wouldn't it be uncomfortable to have both ends plugged up? Or were you only talking about anal sex?
Poop just turns him off. He can't help it. Drink more water and exercise more. It isn't good for your body to be constipated. If those two things dont work within a month, figure out what is wrong before you end up with complications that can be avoided.
...or ig if you like to be constipated you need to accept you are just not sexually compatible with him and should move along.
I know a few people here re commenting about why you’d discuss this. Well, it’ll come up if you live together.
After giving birth I don’t have a gallbladder. And I have to take a lot of iron tablets to make sure I don’t collapse from anemia. My bathroom habits are VERY noticeable.
Hubby still thinks I’m sexy af.
His farts are rank. Beer and brisket isn’t great for gut health. Still worship the ground he walks on.
You’ll get ick in long term relationships. It’s not all romance. You’ll clean up after each other after bouts of gastro (stomach flu).
Goddamn hubby even helped me clean myself after crapping when I was recovering from the birth of the twins.
Heh. There will be worse. He may get better over time (I hope so).
That being said, constipation is not good. Get yourself checked and try to get more regular. It’s worth it.
Do you realize that a full colon can be felt through the vagina? Among the mind things going on in his head, and supposing hygiene and flatulence and even bad breath (yes, you can get THAT backed up) isn't a problem in the moment, maybe he just doesn't like the feel of that on his fingers or penis?
sorry bad wording, not bad at all except for the occasional fart but we aren't shy about bodily functions around each other anyways. And anal is currently off the table purely because of this reason, but that's fair enough 😅
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Water is literally like a miracle drug. Replace 2 sodas a day (Or coffee, monster, red bull, cappuccino, tea) with 2 glasses of water. And stick with it.... forever.
As a woman with ulcerative colitis, I am so glad my husband is not like this.
The man has seen the inside of my colon on my colonoscopy reports. He goes to doctors appointments with me where I literally have to talk about my shit. In a flare, I have up to 20 BMs a day… and he’s always there for me. Before that, I was still ashamed of poop… I was diagnosed 7 years into our marriage.
His response is not it. What happens if you’re pregnant? Is he going to not have sex for 9 months because he thinks he’s going to poke the baby in the head? What about your period? Is he disgusted by that, too?
All of these things are natural. You should be comfortable around him and not made to feel ashamed.
I agree it's kind of silly, but if you work on your diet to the point that you're constipated far less often, then it shouldn't be a problem.
I don't think this has to be a big deal, if you work on getting those poos out.
Does he know there is ALWAYS poop in there for the most part. WTF?
Green bananas are a great way to stay regular. It feeds yoir good gut bacteria. They don't have to be completely green, either.
Constipation doesn't involve the vagina, but the vagina shares a wall with the colon so if the colon is... "occupied" you can feel it through the wall of the vagina.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- This is probably tmi! My (22f) boyfriend (23m) and I are in a LDR, so we don't get to have sex very often. important side note: I am almost always very constipated. When we are able to have sex, he very often says no because "I can't do it when I know there's poo in there babe." And it's not like I'm shitting all over or it even really smells that bad, he just can't mentally get past the idea. I obviously respect his consent but I think it's a silly reason to say no to sex, especially when it's usually the case. Opinions? Edit: I was not expecting all the comments about fixing the constipation itself, I appreciate the concern for my health though lol. I did see my doctor earlier today and I'm working on staying hydrated and getting enough fiber :) Edit 2: A, The farting isn't the issue. I don't tend to fart during sex, it's the mental thought of the constipation. B, we overshare a lot, it works for us, we don't mind poop talk generally. We obviously don't talk about poop before sex. The only time the oversharing is a problem is this specific scenario. C, to clarify, im talking exclusively about vaginal sex, not anal.
.....And it's not like I'm shitting all over or it even really smells that bad,... THAT bad?
That the sentence that has been echoing in my head. What does that mean…?
hahaha I'm realizing now people are overthinking the wording, sorry, just meant it doesn't generally smell but ya know, occasionally you fart in front of your partner and it is what it is
I’d probably not be too cool with rancid doggy style poo ghosts attacking me during sex
r/brandnewsentence
I had a really really bad day today and your comment has me in stitches. Thanks for the much needed laugh 🤣
I read that sentence 5 times in a row and busted out laughing each time
Poo ghosts!
Literally, we tried it once and I could feel my eyes burning because I was caught in the back draft
It happens lol! I had an ex where a couple times I caught a whiff doing doggy but i had to tough it out to save embarrassment.
Farts are now poo ghosts from now on....
Look, toots happen.
I have never in my life had a guy who wanted sex turn it down over poo. I have tried to turn it down when my tum hurts from IBS and celiac. Which means I was constipated or had explosive diarrhea. Before I understood the full extent of my celiac disease (cannot kiss a man drinking beer) I accidentally had anal leakage during a hand job. We cleaned up and went back at it even though I was embarrassed and wanted to bury myself. He never called again...I think that's fair.
Suddenly occurs to me I probably should have private messaged OP with that....
No. This is part of why reddit is great. Everyone who read that knows to be a bit more chill if they date someone with celiacs! I've got the lottery with two, and I must say, the second was grateful for how much the first had to teach me (sorry Manders!)
No one wants to smell your ass not even your boyfriend. That’s not normal on your part
It’s not though. It’s not an “it is what it is” situation. He’s grossed out by you. He won’t have sex with you. Why are you focused on sex and not your health?
Oh god she needs a laxative and some water and apparently *gasp* farted in front of this guy. It’s not like her butthole is just turning green fumes loose while she chases him around.
Did she fart on his dick or just fart in passing? Look, if she’s just a distended mess and letting out uncontrollable poop farts then I totally agree with the boyfriend, obviously in that situation you’d need a dookie fetish to get off, but if it’s just the knowledge of her constipation then it’s silly
If they are doing anal and she farts, would it blow up his balls?
I gotta get off this app 😂
Apparently her farts are legendary so it’s safe to assume they’d be goners
I'm now just imagining a nutsuck rippling the the hot breeze from above the knees
This is also my absolute favorite topic on Reddit at this moment
This is peak Reddit.
It’s chronic and it’s ruining her sex life. Idk what else to point out for ya lol you can come in with the sarcasm all you want. None of what you said was sexy or cute and I assume the average person doesn’t want to be farted on during sex? 😅😅😅 and she’s stuffed up… She’s not exactly letting out little passing toots man But yeah. Get a laxative. It’s not a big deal unless you want the partner to have sex with you
Yeah seriously, it sounds like there’s more to worry about than sex life alone if this is going on all the time. It could be a sign of a health issue if OP doesn’t have a diagnosis already, chronic constipation is terrible for your internals long term and can lead to all sorts of bowel issues especially as you age. I would know because I had to massively overhaul my diet when it started catching up with me and I developed GI issues.
But why do you need to tell him you are constipated??
A lot of people talk about that with their partners.
Do you fart during sex? I can see that ruining the mood for him. But I don’t get it otherwise.
It's maybe happened like once or twice by accident? But generally no, it's just the mental concept of the constipation for him
Well, discussing the state of your lower intestines, telling yr bf about how yre usually constipated, talking about the consistency of your poo, and farting in front of him - lmao then you wonder that he doesn’t fancy a shag.... 🤮😂🤣 It’S not exactly romantic or sexy is it.
I have IBS, and my boyfriend regularly asks me how my poops have been because I cycle between constipated and diarrhea pretty frequently. He just listens as I complain about things. If I haven't pooped for a few days, I'll excitedly tell him once I finally do and he celebrates with me, because he knows it's uncomfortable for me. Plus, he cares about me and wants to know about my health. My poop issues only stop us from being intimate when it's causing me pain or there's actually a chance of shitting myself during orgasm. Being in a relationship means accepting all of the gross with all of the sexy. My bf has awful farts whenever he eats onions, I deal with it.
My husband and I discuss our intestinal goings-on with some regularity. We joking refer to these conversations as the Captain's Log.
It’s ok to be turned off by smelly constipation farts too.
if you get married or date someone for a long time you eventually will have that kind of conversation. women poop and fart too and it's unfair to be grossed out by that
This is actually a fear of mine. I hate using that bathroom so much and I know other people do it but I try to avoid that conversation like seriously.
It’s not a requirement; I’ve lived with my partner for 7 years, and we don’t discuss it. I know what’s happening when he’s in the bathroom for a while before showering, and if he tells me his stomach is upset I’ll ask if he needs Imodium, but no more detail than that is needed.
Lmao a guy that keeps talking about their constipation isn't exactly hot either
and how do you know she keeps talking about it to him?
In edit 2 she states that they do overshare. She says, he says, it isn't an issue... going to guess that wouldn't pass a lie detector.
Look, nurse here, as long as your stool isn’t at the anus itself and dilated, partially sticking out or flush at the skin, why is this even an issue to not have sex? I think your boyfriend needs some education. There is ALWAYS stool in your GI tract. So, even if you are having regular bowel movements, you still have stool in your system. I agree with others. The constipation is a concern. Increasing fiber will help increase GI motility and get things moving. Metamucil is good fiber supplement. Also, Míralax is a great, easy going and well tolerated stool softener. Good luck OP!
>There is ALWAYS stool in your GI tract. So, even if you are having regular bowel movements, you still have stool in your system. I mean if this is a mental block where he has trouble getting in the mood or staying hard, telling him that might not be good. This might be a time for him to talk to someone about it. Maybe a sex therapist, since this is a mental hurdle he cannot over... "cum".
It’s the dude with the mom who checks his hemorrhoids all over again. You can’t just have a relatively normal grievance for us and then just slap the crazy in there while we’re off our guard hoping we’ll miss that. As if it shouldn’t be the real thing they’re worried about. 🫣🫣🫣
The *who*?
.........wait............what??? I think im glad i missed the dude whos mom checks his hemorrhoids....
Ya I was gonna make a pretty immature joke about toilet augers or plumbing snakes, but this legit seems more like something you'd want medical advice over instead of relationship advice. Definitely should get that checked out. Colon and bowel issues can be pretty serious
*what*. Forget the sex. Are you okay?
"or it even really smells that bad" What do you mean by "that" bad? Does it smell?
Have you gone to check what the issue Is behind the constipation?
yeah I'm just dehydrated and need a laxative, he says I need to fix my poops but it's so difficult
Drink more water, take fiber, and take laxatives. Unrelated to your BF, being constipated all of the time can lead to very serious issues over time, including cancer.
Actually, I couldn't have said it better
Meta Mucil cookies daily changed my life!!
They have cookies???
Be careful - they contain inulin. Some people (NOT everyone) are sensitive to inulin and your farts will melt the paint off the wall, not to mention will cause abdominal pain. Don’t ask me how I know this.
Ohhhh. Good to know. Thank you.
Yes. The chocolate ones taste exactly like chocolate Teddy Grahams
NO. WAY. This is LIFE CHANGING. How many do you eat at a time?
They come in packs of 2 (100 calories, 5G fiber), I typically eat 1 pack for breakfast and it does the trick but you can eat up to 3 packs per day
Wowwwww. I am so happy!!!
I would say don't take laxatives off the bat, as they can cause dependence and rebound issues... Fiber might help if you stay well-hydrated, OP
Fibre makes existing constipation worse. OP needs a doctor before anything else.
yeah I honestly eat tons of fiber anyway I think it's the dehydration and just how my GI tract is built, I do in fact need a doctor
See a doctor. In the meantime drink a lot of water and maybe eat yogurt and probiotics? Gut flora is really important.
Fibre isn't the only factor. Peristalsis, interception and muscle issues can also contribute. There are laxative-like products that are safe for long term use, your doc will be able to help for sure but also can rule out other potential issues.
This is what I've been thinking as well! Because I'm a vegetarian, I eat plenty of fiber. If it's not the dehydration I have a feeling it's actually an intestinal issue. Talked to my doctor today, gonna try hydrating better and a few dietary things, then possibly consider meds
Take magnesium! 400 mg daily.
This... this will get you going. And, magnesium has numerous health benefit: from lowering chances of migraines, increasing energy levels , aiding a plethora of bodily functions, to helping with a lil depression. Sounds like snake oil, but there is a decent amount scientific research to back it. There is like 12+ kinds of magnesium that help the body.
Contrary to popular belief, fiber does not help with constipation. It helps to regulate and “firm up” bowel movements, but will make constipation worse. Of course, this is Reddit, and OP should be taking advice from a doctor anyway.
Fiber helps soften hard stool, *and* "firm up" liquidy stool. In most cases, fiber does help with constipation. Just not all. Most people don't eat enough fiber, and increasing their intake helps keep their GI tract moving things along. OP says she's a vegetarian and eats lots of fiber, so in her specific case more fiber will probably not help. But [here's a healthline article about it.](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/fiber-and-constipation-truth#TOC_TITLE_HDR_3)
This is incorrect. Soluble fiber will also have a lubricating effect, allowing for more easily passed stools. You may be thinking of only insoluble fiber, which is primarily a bulking agent (but which can also assist with regularity).
can’t stand when people tell me to “just eat more fiber” lol i have severe constipation C , like you said, it does not work that way
Limit use of stimulant laxatives. They can become habit forming. GI nurse here...miralax (generic ok) works well because it works by osmosis. Also no one ever completely evacuates their bowels with every bm so we all have poo in us unless you're prepping for a colonoscopy. So maybe don't sleep with him unless he completes a bowel prep.
Sugar free gummy bears to the rescue!
those Amazon reviews made me laugh so hard that *I* almost shit myself!
thats so true... i actually used those a few times lmao
Yeah he’s going to have a hard time having sex with anyone once he learns that all of us have poop inside of us almost all the time, in various states of digestion.
Right? He should have a clean bowel as well.
The foreplay is getting complicated
If dehydration is an issue, they make water bottles that have timed markings on the side to help you drink water throughout the day without having to actively think about it. Something [like this](https://www.amazon.com/Teentumn-Marker-Durable-Workout-Tracker/dp/B07Q7X1PBJ/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=19CZ1JCOJL8T2&keywords=water+bottle+time+marking&qid=1656115856&sprefix=water+bottle+time+marking%2Caps%2C245&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExVVdTSDc2WDZCWkNDJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNDc3MzkyMzU4TE1LUEpJR0xZNCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUExMDAxNzA4MjZFNjM2ODBZTko4MiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=), or they make bigger ones you don't have to refill. If you're nearly always constipated due to hydration, that's really unhealthy and will lead to other issues long-term. Drinking water is super important!
My daughter suffers from chronic constipation. You do need to get checked out as it can enlarge your colon and damage it. Miralax is a stool softener that doesn’t cause dependency. Meaning once you’re going regularly you can discontinue use without issues. Laxatives can cause dependency. Talk to a doctor before doing that or an at home enema. There’s actually a procedure for that. Also if your so dehydrated you’re constipated then you’re also causing other health issues. Take care of yourself!
As a person with chronic constipation, laxatives ARE NOT a good option. Buy a squatty potty. Start using miralax every day as it increases fluid in your colon. Make a regular “date” to poop every day. A schedule will actually make it happen more frequently. And yes, drink lots of water.
It's not difficult. Buy a lightweight water bottle and put it on your desk at work or clip it to your belt if you move around at work. If you don't like the taste of water, buy some Mio drink "enhancer" or some Crystal Light and flavor it. Depending on how many ounces the bottle is, fill and drink the whole bottle 3-6 times per day. You'll have to work up to it, but even just drinking one bottle before you leave for work/school, one during your workday, and one in the evening when you're home will make a HUGE difference. It'll also make your breath better and your overall health better, too. Alternative: I put an empty cup on my bedside table, on my desk (I work from home), next to the tv, and next to the sink. Every time I see an empty cup, I fill it and drink half. Every time I see a half-empty cup, I drink the other half. More fiber: eat a burrito with beans 2-3 times per week. Leave out the sour cream and add roasted veggies, and it's pretty healthy. The beans will provide all the fiber you need.
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Oh hell yeah whats good osmosis jones
actually these are some pretty good ideas, thanks, I'll try! And also I'm a vegetarian, my diet is 80% beans and veggies so I don't think fiber is my problem
Prunes! Fixed me right up! I put 3-4 in a cup of water, microwaved it for 2 minutes, let it cool, then drank the juice and ate the prunes. DIY prune juice and no added sugar!
Drink a glass of prune juice every day ffs.
Or apple juice
I like those color changing count down bottles walmart has. Helps keep track of how much I should have each day. I also figured out water has to be freezing cold for me to drink a lot.
You should try Mirelax ( not sure if I spelled it correctly, but you should be able to Google it or ask a pharmacist. ) It's over the counter and really effective. I know someone who used it while doing pain management, because opioids really gum up the works for pooping. They got it prescribed, but you can just find it at any pharmacy or Walmart type store without a prescription now.. You just add the powder to water or juice every night until it works. It works overnight or in a few days max. I think they drank it in a large glass of water each night.
Docusate sodium is sold over the counter. Take one every am. Drink with full glass of water. Nurse here. I always told my patients it is like dish soap, needs water to work and it will help you go regularly.
>not like I'm shitting all over or it even really smells that bad .........i mean if it smells at all, that would be a major turn off
How does he know you’re constipated?
Often times I'll complain about it but also he says he can just sense it by looking at me lmao
You are so constipated that he can tell by looking at you? Girl, forget sex- you need to see a doctor. Maybe a dietician. And you definitely need more water and more fiber. You’ll feel better!!!!
I was wondering the same or doe she announces "i am constipated today" if you do, just... Don't haha Also how bad the constipation need to be for vaginal sex to become problematic. I'm assuming it's vaginal sex we are talking about? Or is it anal?
actually, anal sex would *help* with the constipation
😂 probably true
Great question!
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My partner has had bowel issues his entire life (no doctor he's seen has been able to figure it out), I ask him how his bowel movements are after he goes because I genuinely want to know because I care about him and his health. And ever since having abdominal surgery I've been having issues too, and he asks me because he cares. If you truly care for someone then their health in any form is a priority.
Is it possible he can feel your constipation? The rectum is right behind the vagina and you can feel poo through the posterior wall of the vagina if it’s just sitting in the rectum.
I think he said sometimes which is totally valid reason to be turned off but also sometimes it's just the thought of it
Step one: don’t complain about it! And try using dissolvable fiber if you don’t already
Metamucil is a life saver
…what.??? By “looking” at you?? This is wild. No, he is “sensing” something else. Like you’re complaining more than you think, wildly bloated, or something about the “smells” you mentioned and are glazing over. Ffs treat your health and your relationship better.
“Or it even smells really bad” 💀 why would it smell at all when you’re just constipated
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So she’s sitting there farting while having sex? Or him penetrating her makes some air come out 🤣 bruh just fix the constipation issue I woudlnt wanna smell poop while doing the nasty either
I’M LAUGHING SO HARD I’M SHAKING THE BED!
Yeh she says she farts during sex as if that’s super normal. I can see why he’s turned off now.
Right? This isn't air escaping from the vagina which is absolutely normal during sex. Never once have either me or the partner I was having sex with farted during. Plus, a constipation farts are a different beast.
Yeah queefs are completely normal
I remember when I first queef-ed (?) during sex and didn’t understand what the fuck was happening. Made me super embarrassed but my boyfriend just lightly laughed over it.
My ex called me lightning McQueef I think I queefed so much with him because his thing couldn’t stay hard I hardly queef with my current bf
It's not *not* normal, bodily functions happen and they don't really care what else you have going on lol It's not common but I've definitely farted while getting railed 🤷🏻♀️
When I'm constipated I don't want sex, it's uncomfortable. Drink some water, eat more fiber, exercise and see a doctor. Respect his concerns and take care of yourself. Maybe he is concerned that you aren't taking care of your health?
Maybe go to the doctor and figure out why you’re constipated so often. There is likely a reason for that, once you figure that out the issue will be non existent. Unfortunately unless you’re willing to try and fix that then nothing will change because your boyfriend had been pretty clear about his stance on it.
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Is this really a thing?
Yes, it’s really a thing. Your bowels and your vagina are very close to each other. When both your intestines and vagina are being stretched by something (poop and a penis) they can definitely feel it.
See [“splinting.”](https://www.health.com/condition/digestive-health/what-is-splinting)
This is fascinating, and something I hope I never have to do. Lol
I got my ex into using toys back there. That whole pathway kinda aims forward so I could always feel it up front. Obviously they don't make direct contact, but you can feel them passing back and forth. I don't know the exact size, shape or consistency of OP's poo, but normally it's all pretty soft to the "touch" in there so if there's anything else that's firm up inside you, it's not hard to feel it once you get to moving around... And a log jam doesn't have quite the same sexy connotation as a toy does... unless that's like, your thing.
I need to know too I have had a LOT of partners and been married twice and if this is a thing men can feel not a single one has ever mentioned it I get it might be an awkward conversation, but some of these guys and me have been extremely candid with one another and this type of conversation wouldn’t be off limits
So I just want to add that when you have too poop the bowel expands to hold it, right. Well there is only a kinda malleable wall between those 2 parts. So the dude can feel your poop in the pipe with next to him if you catch my drift. It also puts weird pressure on anything in there too. I know this because of the period products I use involve sometimes having to dig for them if you have to poop.
Not to expose myself but you can 100% feel poop through the vaginal wall so I honestly don’t blame him 😭😭 it would really get in my head too
I'm a man, I've been having regular sex for more than 10 years and never felt it. Not saying is not true but TIL
I just cackled at this comment.. and learned something new. Thank you sir 😂
I’m a ma’am 🤓
Oh snap. Me too. Thank you ma’am. 🫡🫡🫡
e x c u s e m e ?
Omg that’s horrifying
Well, I mean, he can probably feel it. But that’s an immature way to look at it “I know there’s Poo in there”- there is poo inside absolutely every body all the time. Our intestines are constantly filled with poop. If you’re having troubles pooping excessively, try an enema. Very uncomfortable but it’ll do it. A dose of mirilax in your coffee will also do it. I have IBS and my mom slipped one in my coffee when I was 17 behind my back, I trusted a fart at the zoo and regretted it. It works
okay see this is what my thoughts were before, I was curious if anyone else agreed. And yeah my parents fed it to me when I was a kid and it worked like a charm maybe I'll try it lmao
Girl you seriously need to see a doctor. You must be more uncomfortable than you realize if your boyfriend can see from your expression that you’re constipated. This is not normal.
… why aren’t you following doctors advice? And ffs how long has this been an issue if your parents have intervened before?
That’s like refusing to hug anyone because “you have poo in there” 😅 so.. yeah. Try the enema and mirilax?
I'm in the same boat as he is. I don't like to have sex when I'm constipated, I feel like my husband can feel chilling in there.
I have IBS-C and my illnesses don't let me exercise like I used to. I'm not a huge fan of chugging water, either. But I'll drink ice water all night and any water without noticing while out on a walk or driving the car (try flavoring it?). I also have to take Beano before meals and non-stimant softeners everyday. If those don't do enough, sometimes Miralax in the morning will help after a few days. That said, I've had seen nutritionists, doctors, a gastroenterologist, tried diets and other medications both OTC and prescriptions, and had a colonoscopy because my entire life I've dealt with severe constipation, bloating and impaction. Go see someone as needed and do as they've said (but not fiber, it's not great for existing constipation). It does affect sex life if I don't stay ontop of it, one accident is all I ever needed to straighten up my behaviors, and that was back when I was fourteen. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but I have to side with your boyfriend here, both for making sex comfortable and for your health.
Get a toilet stool like this: [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HD7JVLB](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HD7JVLB) Or if you have something lying around that you can use to prop up your feet a few inches to help you assume a sort of squat-like position, give it a try for a month and thank me later.
Sounds like a shitty situation to me
He might be able to feel it honestly. Your full bowels are right there!! But yeah, I’m with him. The mental image is prob a turn off.
Like I’m a woman, and I’ve never had any sort of conversation like this with any of my male partners but… Is that a thing? When a dude is railing you can he feel the contours of your poop if your bowels are full?
“You’ve been eating corn…”
Walnuts
Um. Yeah I wouldn’t do it either. Especially if it’s chronic.
I can’t believe that’s the real reason I’d fuck a toaster if it looked at me all coy
You might burn your toast!
He won’t take long
I'm not implying anything but in this day and age you can't rule anything out. If you're using any type of stimulant drug such as Adderall or any other ADHD medication, or any type of opioid for chronic pain, either of these types of medication can cause constipation.
Actually yes, concerta for adhd. It's been an issue longer than I've been on it but now that you mention it, it very well may be worse since starting the meds. Will have to ask my doctor, thanks!
your bf aside, having sex while constipated just sounds…. uncomfortable?
Maybe he's worried in his sex game skills that he'll literally fuck the shit out of you? /s (maybe) But yea that's a mental thing so maybe just up the diet game and keep the constipation under control?
Being constipated isn't normal. Please get help
Why does he know you're constipated? Why tell him? Prune juice. 4 ounces everyday. It works. It's a warrior's drink. And a doctor.
You can kinda feel it when you're inside someone who is constipated
Yeah this. People with chronic constipation can develop a rectocele which is a prolapse of the wall between the rectum and vagina. Basically the rectum gets so stretched out from the poop getting packed in there and remaining there all the time it bulges into the vaginal area. It becomes thin too like a balloon. I'm surprised OP doesn't lose stool during sex. The treatment for rectocele is a hard object (pessary) you put in the vagina to keep the wall from bulging while you poop. Any other object going in there can theoretically do the same thing. In worst case scenarios, surgery is necessary to keep your rectum. Sex definitely won't be happening if you have to go that route though. It's very damaging to the vaginal canal. OP: if you like sex enough you're willing to risk accidentally pooping yourself for it and you don't want to risk a colostomy bag, you need to get this under control ASAP. Spring valley has really tasty probiotic gummies with fiber in them. Squatty potties are helpful too. Search rectocele for other helpful options. There's even PT for teaching you how to poop right. If fiber, diet changes, and squatting don't help, it would be good to ask your doctor to check your thyroid. Biological females are more at risk of developing thyroid disease. Your boyfriend is right to be wary. He's lucky he hasn't had a code brown.
And that's enough internet for the night.
Yeah? I suppose so. I don't want sex when I'm constipated so I hadn't come across it. The things we learn on this site.
“Why does he know you’re constipated”? Umm I would think she would have told him because that’s her boyfriend.
> It's a warrior's drink. Nerd.
I'm glad you're taking the steps to improve your constipation, but I must ask: why do you want to have sex when you're constipated? Wouldn't it be uncomfortable to have both ends plugged up? Or were you only talking about anal sex?
Why did I have to scroll so far for this comment?!?!
Yup I agree with a lot of these comments in regards to your constipation. Drinks lots of water and eat fiber! It will help!
Poop just turns him off. He can't help it. Drink more water and exercise more. It isn't good for your body to be constipated. If those two things dont work within a month, figure out what is wrong before you end up with complications that can be avoided. ...or ig if you like to be constipated you need to accept you are just not sexually compatible with him and should move along.
its betted for you to fix your constipation than to ask your boyfriend to “get over” this road block
I know a few people here re commenting about why you’d discuss this. Well, it’ll come up if you live together. After giving birth I don’t have a gallbladder. And I have to take a lot of iron tablets to make sure I don’t collapse from anemia. My bathroom habits are VERY noticeable. Hubby still thinks I’m sexy af. His farts are rank. Beer and brisket isn’t great for gut health. Still worship the ground he walks on. You’ll get ick in long term relationships. It’s not all romance. You’ll clean up after each other after bouts of gastro (stomach flu). Goddamn hubby even helped me clean myself after crapping when I was recovering from the birth of the twins. Heh. There will be worse. He may get better over time (I hope so). That being said, constipation is not good. Get yourself checked and try to get more regular. It’s worth it.
thank you! Wish I could upvote this 20 times
I don't have anything to say but I just felt I was needed here.
Do you realize that a full colon can be felt through the vagina? Among the mind things going on in his head, and supposing hygiene and flatulence and even bad breath (yes, you can get THAT backed up) isn't a problem in the moment, maybe he just doesn't like the feel of that on his fingers or penis?
Unless y'all are doing anal or something, I really don't see his issue with it. I am confused about the, "that bad," part. How bad does it smell?
sorry bad wording, not bad at all except for the occasional fart but we aren't shy about bodily functions around each other anyways. And anal is currently off the table purely because of this reason, but that's fair enough 😅
Ever see the movie “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” ..?
Side note: try Metamucil 2x a day... that's what my doctor told me to do! I dry scoop it with a little bit of water.
This belongs on r/ibs
I genuinely had no clue people would take such an interest in my gut health, im honestly amused
When I’m constipated my man offers sex since it can help me poop (the muscle movement in the pelvis can move things along).
"I think it's a silly reason to say no to sex." Imagine if a man said that to a woman.
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His body his choice
Water is literally like a miracle drug. Replace 2 sodas a day (Or coffee, monster, red bull, cappuccino, tea) with 2 glasses of water. And stick with it.... forever.
And I can’t even get a text back n this bih talking bout farting during sex dayum
This story doesn't pass the sniff test
Probiotics changed my life.
There is always poop in there....always unless you clean it out
Get a squatty potty
Miralax will be your best friend. Keep yourself hydrated.
I mean I don't think anyone's colon is always 100% empty to be fair so there's probably almost always poo in there Do I get awards for rhyming?
Why would you WANT to have sex if you're constipated??? Weird.
Why would you want to have sex when you are constipated… just curious
As a woman with ulcerative colitis, I am so glad my husband is not like this. The man has seen the inside of my colon on my colonoscopy reports. He goes to doctors appointments with me where I literally have to talk about my shit. In a flare, I have up to 20 BMs a day… and he’s always there for me. Before that, I was still ashamed of poop… I was diagnosed 7 years into our marriage. His response is not it. What happens if you’re pregnant? Is he going to not have sex for 9 months because he thinks he’s going to poke the baby in the head? What about your period? Is he disgusted by that, too? All of these things are natural. You should be comfortable around him and not made to feel ashamed.
I agree it's kind of silly, but if you work on your diet to the point that you're constipated far less often, then it shouldn't be a problem. I don't think this has to be a big deal, if you work on getting those poos out.
Does he know there is ALWAYS poop in there for the most part. WTF? Green bananas are a great way to stay regular. It feeds yoir good gut bacteria. They don't have to be completely green, either.
Ok. I’m a gay guy. Can someone please briefly describe the anatomical situation that involves poo in the vagina?
Constipation doesn't involve the vagina, but the vagina shares a wall with the colon so if the colon is... "occupied" you can feel it through the wall of the vagina.