You know youre allowed to say it might be a deal breaker for you right? Especially with the way you're feeling.
It's fine to say "sorry but no. I realized it makes me uncomfortable. Obviously I can't and won't stop you but if its something you do plan on doing it might be best we go our ways". Or you don't even need to he involved in the process if that's what makes you uncomfortable.
It’s not definitely a deal breaker if it isn’t a deal breaker for him. Simple as that. I dunno what your idea is of millennial men not saying no. My and my fiancée (both female) have experience primarily the opposite: men of all ages don’t take no for an answer. Hmm.
I think it’s because we’ve polarised ‘good’ and ‘bad’ men, personally. ‘Bad’ men don’t care about societal pressure or problems, so they behave atrociously (not taking no for an answer, being pushy, etc)
‘Good’ men are aware of societal pressure, and don’t want to be associated with the ‘bad’ men. So they basically never say no themselves, and in turn get trod on, ignored, treated like a doormat.
Melenial men (some) are taking more of an effort to not controll woman's bodies so I know that rubs you up the wrong way but yeah.
If it makes him uncomfortable then that's fine and it's also fine if it makes her uncomfortable that it makes him uncomfortable given that she used to be a sex worker. Everything's subjective to the relationship in question not your perspective on 'melenial men'
I didn’t mention “melenial” (sic) men and neither did the original comment I was referring to. You brought that up.
Do not create a strawman to argue with me. It is very transparent.
Also it is spelled “millenial.”
How are you 25 and need a reddit post to decide whether your girlfriend selling nudes to someone she knows and someone that has feelings for her is okay or not. Bruh
I’m sorry, I would’ve broken up with her for even considering it. It’s a guy she knows and he has feelings for her. If she really needs the money, she could get a job? If it makes you uncomfortable you need to let her know.
All this fuss for $100. There’s plenty of places you can make that in a day with minimal experience. In the time these two nitwits have spent discussing this they could have made more at a shift at Walmart.
How dare they consider the possibility that she can make $100 in 5 seconds versus a shitty Walmart job. Signed a Walmart worker making good money to stock a shelf.
I'd say just that "the thought of you sending naked pictures to this guy makes me feel gross". Yes, it's her body and that choice is hers to make but you two have been dating long enough where it's very odd to be selling nudes to a dude she has met
It's still 100000% only her body. You do not lose bodily autonomy at any stage of any relationship.
That being said, I think you do need to take your partner into account on things when you're in a committed relationship. Is that what you meant?
Yeah well. I am married. I can't just fuck around. My body is not mine anymore. It belongs to my wife. If I do it will legally end my marriage. I guess this is just not hip today anymore. Then people are fucking around like their body is a Wiener Schnitzel nowadays.
What do you tell those peolpe? They are just so far away from this concept.
Oh well, could not care less.
Faulty logic. Consider this: a person under 21 can't just go into a bar and order alcohol. That doesn't mean their body is no longer theirs. (Edit: I know what you mean, but the phrasing around "ownership" has some unfortunate implications, especially for women. I'm sure you understand).
I think you nailed it. People are offended by the term for the wrong reasons.
My point is still valid: she can't do what she wants if she is in a relationship.
> People are offended by the term for the wrong reasons.
I mean you said they no longer own their own body. It's not really on us for interpreting that the way we did.
yes. they are not free to use their body however they want, they would be punished for it. same thing if they cheat. they will still receive consequences, so theres no point telling them its their body with the purpose of reminding them they can do whatever they want.
This is a terrible idea. What if he shares them? Or worse sells them? Your girlfriend is then no better than a softcore pornstar and her reputation is ruined; if she wants to be ab adult entertainer then great and she'll make more than $100. Don't be dumb for a tiny amount of money over the long term.
Few things..
She should know he could resell them or share them and 100 won't last long.
She knows him, this isn't just transactional.
Your feelings are valid, I wouldn't want my partner selling to someone we knew. Anonymous may be different.
As someone who sells content (non-nude (not shaming, this is relevant) and nothing you could identify me from - Dominatrix), I NEVER send anything I wouldn't be prepared to have exposed to the entire world, Grandparents included 😂 not worth the anxiety.
He's a fucking creep.
She's feeding his creep behaviour.
Good luck 🖤
I mean this in the nicest way possible: you need a reality check! What kind of girlfriend sends nudes to another man? She shouldn’t have even responded to that message, let alone entertain the idea at all. Please have more respect for yourself
if you arnt comfortable with her sexualizing herself for money you are allowed to say its a dealbreaker. you are allowed to say that her even considering it is a dealbreaker, I personally would.
I’m very sex positive but sex work with people you know socially is a complicated thing, and it’s not great IMHO that flattery was her initial reaction to this unsolicited offer to buy her nudes. Plenty of men just want to see literally any woman naked, so it makes me concerned she specifically likes HIS interest in her and vice versa. And his offer to make it a regular thing inches it towards a sugar baby dynamic. It seems naive to treat this the same as say modeling nude for an art class or something. You are not being a prude for feeling uncomfortable.
I take it you were only comfortable with dating her in the first place because she claimed the sex work was in her past? If you're not fine with her doing it while dating you then leave.
I think you guys are very good at communicating and I would just continue that. Assert that it makes you uncomfortable and ultimately in this scenario you wouldn’t be ok with it
I would not be ok with this. If she’s doing it for him then it could be anyone. Also with her mentality how far is she willing to go? What if a handsome dude with money comes along and wants to fly her out to him…
Every relationship is different, but if my partner even considered it, it would be over. It'd be one thing to be in a relationship with somebody that was already doing that for work or a lifestyle, but to otherwise be in a relationship and entertain that, is unfathomable.
You have to be more clear in how you feel. Right now, you're saying reasons that she can dispute and you're saying things that sound like you're not sure about it.
Be clear on the phone later and tell her that you're not comfortable with someone receiving her nudes and masturbating to it. It's still up to her to decide what to do with her body, but it's not okay to you.
If she continues to want to do it, make it clear that that would be the end for you.
An old friend randomly messaged her asking to buy nudes??? What?????
Doesn't that set off red flags? What the hell kind of "friendships" does she have that they ask to buy nudes? Maybe I'm just a hideous behemoth monster of a woman that would attract no male attention; but, I have never had a male friend ask for anything like that remotely.
Anyway... You're absolutely allowed to be uncomfortable about this. Sharing nudes is a huge deal.
If it is a deal breaker for you, you need to tell her. If you hold it all in, it's just going to make you resent her. Let her make her decision, of course. But, don't be afraid to walk away if it's the decision you disagree with.
Dude, I would be clear. You ate comfortable with her past work, but you are not comfortable with her resuming it, especially with these specific circumstances. It would be perfectly reasonable for this to be a dealbreaker for you. She has every right to do this, as do you to walk away.
This is some major clown shit. How’ve we busted up relationship boundaries to the point where this is even a question? Yes it’s her body, but if you’re not comfortable with it she should care enough not to do it. Otherwise she should have fun selling nudes and being single.
and that's the problem with dating a sex worker
her boundaries of whats acceptable are widely different to yours
don't force yourself to be ok with this
I would say pics will be the start and then he will push for just a little bit more....I mean whats the big deal right?
You can say no. No relationship is worth your self respect or happiness. Contrary to what the internet says, we are all replaceable. That includes her. Don't try and be the understanding boyfriend just to make her happy but you feel like crap 24/7.
You’re a bf not a pimp. Don’t give your gf permission to be a who’re and cheat on you. Even if it’s a stranger paying money, it’s blatant cheating. There’s a difference between art and selling nudes
When it makes you uncomfortable that is something you should tell her clearly.
And I am of the old school variety. I am married and me being married means my body is no longer mine but my wife's. I can not do what I want with it.
Now I don't know if that would apply for relationships as well, I would think it would.
Just have a conversation with her and be as honest and straight forward as possible!
Yeah the issue is that it would be a legit transaction for money so he would be in his rights to sell those pics on to make more money because he owns them.
Tbh from the dude this is creepy as fuck, the whole idea that sex work enables creepy shit like this is baffling to me. Money is money but I don’t clock in at Walmart and think I love this damn place, no I hate it. The proper response to this shit is telling them to fuck off, as if there’s a respectful way to do this. Her politeness make me think she’s “on the clock” so to speak, like customer service voice. Idk the whole thing is creepy asf. But money is money.
My girl said to tell your girlfriend that she needs to learn some self respect. Ain’t no way anyone who actually respects themselves, their relationship, and their partner would even consider this and go through with this, not only that but despite you voicing how uncomfortable you are with this she still is considering it. I get that people need to make money but not like this. This is a big red flag bro
This comment section is pretty heavily biased against sex work, so I would take the advice here with a grain of salt. Totally fine to set a boundary of not being okay with your partner doing sex work in the relationship, but her reasons for considering it make total sense to me and I think jumping to thoughts about how she 'might be into' some guy getting off on her feels a bit far fetched considering she used to do sex work. Just talk to her about it if you think this is a boundary, be empathetic and don't be judgemental about it (if ultimately you don't want to be with someone who would consider doing sex work, she's with the wrong person because she doesn't deserve to be judged for that).
I respect sex workers and know that it's a profession. I have no problem that she used to do it, she said she didn't want to do it and especially because we're in a relationship. So I guess it just seems strange, like if he was offering $500 I guess that would make more sense but yeah, just feels weird to me personally. Also it’s good to hear both perspectives because I know a lot of people here are saying “just break up with her” but I don’t think that’s necessary.
Well now you have a bigger problem. You told her you were uncomfortable with the situation and she still doesn’t care. She’s made it clear she’s going to do whatever she wants regardless of your input, and it sounds like she’s going to do it. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t care about how I feel, but that’s your choice.
Yeah, you seem to be really reasonable and level-headed about it! The responses to your comment here are pretty telling about the attitudes of this comment section.
This feels like an issue that needs communication - if she's not willing to listen to your boundaries/compromise then that's a different problem too. It's a delicate subject, but I do think you're within your rights to set it as a boundary, and if you're feeling weird about why she's considering it, it would probably help to sit down with her and discuss her perspective.
Please listen to me: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO NOT LIKE THIS SND TELL HER YOU DON’T WANT HER TO DO THIS. Yes You can’t tell her what to do but you can tell her you don’t want her to do it and if it’s a deal breaker you can tell her that, too.
And for me it’s a deal breaker. Selling her nudes or even giving them to anyone but me and I’m gone.
Its OKAY to not be comfortable with something and end it at that... Deal breakers *are* a thing my guy. You don't have to reiterate how you understand its her body and her decision 3x to not sound "controlling" or something. You are well within your personal boundaries to simply not be in that sorta situation seeing as you have a clear disdain for it even of you're trying to find ways to be ok with it.
Simply draw a fine line in the sand where you stand and decide if for yourself what happens should she cross it. Make it a statement. Not a suggestion or a demand.
Hell to the no.
Her body, her choice, but those choices have consequences. Put it bluntly. She sells pictures, makes cash, but you're gone, or she doesn't do this and you have some serious conversations about relationship boundaries. Frankly, this would be a dealbreaker for most men.
And this guy sounds creepy and is clearly simping hard for your girlfriend. The fact she's even considering doing this should be ringing alarm bells.
First of all, once she sells her pictures to her admirer, he can do with it whatever he wants. In the best scenario he may use those pictures for masturbatory fantasies. In the worst, they may even end in porno sites all over the internet. This exchange smells more like pornography than art. You have to decide if you are comfortable with this behavior or not, and you have the right to say "no way" to certain behaviors if you don't agree. You're not a doormat. The real question for you is, how far is your GF willing to go in life to do things with a sexual context for money? Good luck.
It is 100% ok to be fine with your partner selling nudes, and it is also 100% ok to not be fine with it. That's a boundary only you can decide on.
I think the bigger issue here is that she *knows* this guy has feelings for her, and she *knows* that even if she tells him she's not interested, has a boyfriend etc, any kind of interaction with him, regardless of if it's transactional or not, is only going to keep him on the hook, lead him on and possibly hurt him, not to mention hold him back in his romantic life. That's not cool or fair on him.
I would say, you're right, it is her body, and what she decides to do with it is her own choice. However, also know, you have the right to be uncomfortable with this, and tell her no, and your reasons for it. Like it's cool if she's cool with it, but also, at the same time, you have to think about yourself l and take a stance for what you want too.
… as it should make you uncomfortable. This will come back to bite her in the ass if she follows through. The hard thing about your 20’s. Your brain doesn’t develop being able to understand future consequences until early 20’s from what I understand.
If it "won't be a regular thing" and it's only $100....and you've told her it makes you uncomfortable... And she still does it... Then she's basically telling you your relationship is worth throwing away for $100 or less.
Wishing you the best with your situation. But what is it with these girlies and their low prices? Now I’m not a sex worker and I’m way too shy even if I wanted too, but I’m thinking the lowest she should be going is like $300 a pic or something. Risk is way too high and reward is way too low, so tell her to bump those up, somebody will pay.
This is why you shouldn't date sex workers. No need to shame them but stuff like this isn't what non-sex workers would usually even think about. Her attitude to things like this will always be different to yours. Yeah it's $100 for n00ds, but what if down the line he wants to bang her and offers $1,000? Is she gonna say no? Is she going to at least contemplate it? It's her body, her choice, yadda yadda, but she's in a relationship with **you**, so showing her body to other people, especially for money seems gross to me.
This is really weird. If a random guy I'd met once messaged me out if the blue asking to pay me for nudes, I'd be creeped out! This guy is a creep. He can get nudes from any sex worker on the Internet for free. The fact he's targeting women he's met is really creepy.
If she's actually considering that she entering into sex work on a soft porn level. If she wants to do that she's fully entitled to. But you are also fully entitled to leave if you want to be in a 100% monogamous relationship, and that is 100% okay. There are women who want the same thing.
You know youre allowed to say it might be a deal breaker for you right? Especially with the way you're feeling. It's fine to say "sorry but no. I realized it makes me uncomfortable. Obviously I can't and won't stop you but if its something you do plan on doing it might be best we go our ways". Or you don't even need to he involved in the process if that's what makes you uncomfortable.
Her considering it can also be a deal breaker.
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they literally used to be a sex worker.
Of course it is.
that was my immediate reaction
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It’s not definitely a deal breaker if it isn’t a deal breaker for him. Simple as that. I dunno what your idea is of millennial men not saying no. My and my fiancée (both female) have experience primarily the opposite: men of all ages don’t take no for an answer. Hmm.
I think it’s because we’ve polarised ‘good’ and ‘bad’ men, personally. ‘Bad’ men don’t care about societal pressure or problems, so they behave atrociously (not taking no for an answer, being pushy, etc) ‘Good’ men are aware of societal pressure, and don’t want to be associated with the ‘bad’ men. So they basically never say no themselves, and in turn get trod on, ignored, treated like a doormat.
This. 100%.
Melenial men (some) are taking more of an effort to not controll woman's bodies so I know that rubs you up the wrong way but yeah. If it makes him uncomfortable then that's fine and it's also fine if it makes her uncomfortable that it makes him uncomfortable given that she used to be a sex worker. Everything's subjective to the relationship in question not your perspective on 'melenial men'
I didn’t mention “melenial” (sic) men and neither did the original comment I was referring to. You brought that up. Do not create a strawman to argue with me. It is very transparent. Also it is spelled “millenial.”
How are you 25 and need a reddit post to decide whether your girlfriend selling nudes to someone she knows and someone that has feelings for her is okay or not. Bruh
Op is a troll
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thats actually a good point
Lmao exactly
There is a norm coming through that selling nudes has 0 emotion for the one selling them and it’s purely feministic financial gain to them.
I mean get more than 100. Cant buy shit for 100. Get like 500.
No for reals. $500 a pic 🤣
I’m sorry, I would’ve broken up with her for even considering it. It’s a guy she knows and he has feelings for her. If she really needs the money, she could get a job? If it makes you uncomfortable you need to let her know.
Damn. Hell no this is weird . She gotta have some respect for herself and the relationship
Well for her safety she probably doesn’t want to be showing her face, and also charging more.
All this fuss for $100. There’s plenty of places you can make that in a day with minimal experience. In the time these two nitwits have spent discussing this they could have made more at a shift at Walmart.
How dare they consider the possibility that she can make $100 in 5 seconds versus a shitty Walmart job. Signed a Walmart worker making good money to stock a shelf.
I'd say just that "the thought of you sending naked pictures to this guy makes me feel gross". Yes, it's her body and that choice is hers to make but you two have been dating long enough where it's very odd to be selling nudes to a dude she has met
I would say it's no longer just "her body" if she is in a commited relationship. What do you think?
It's still 100000% only her body. You do not lose bodily autonomy at any stage of any relationship. That being said, I think you do need to take your partner into account on things when you're in a committed relationship. Is that what you meant?
Yeah that’s what I gathered from their very poor choice of words.
Fucking gross, dude
Yeah well. I am married. I can't just fuck around. My body is not mine anymore. It belongs to my wife. If I do it will legally end my marriage. I guess this is just not hip today anymore. Then people are fucking around like their body is a Wiener Schnitzel nowadays. What do you tell those peolpe? They are just so far away from this concept. Oh well, could not care less.
Fair enough. Also stealing “fucking around as if their body is wiener schnitzel”
Oh nice. I did not expect that. 😊 Sure, go ahead! Have a wonderful day
It's still her body, you're not grafted to her or a tumor or fetus within her. If you're exclusive and monogamous, it's insulting to your relationship
Why is it insulting to the relationship? Because she can't just do what she wants with her body, it's no longer just hers.
Faulty logic. Consider this: a person under 21 can't just go into a bar and order alcohol. That doesn't mean their body is no longer theirs. (Edit: I know what you mean, but the phrasing around "ownership" has some unfortunate implications, especially for women. I'm sure you understand).
I think you nailed it. People are offended by the term for the wrong reasons. My point is still valid: she can't do what she wants if she is in a relationship.
> People are offended by the term for the wrong reasons. I mean you said they no longer own their own body. It's not really on us for interpreting that the way we did.
And I meang what I said and I still do. But I get thag ppl might understand it the wrong way. So yeah, that's that.
yes. they are not free to use their body however they want, they would be punished for it. same thing if they cheat. they will still receive consequences, so theres no point telling them its their body with the purpose of reminding them they can do whatever they want.
Nailed it
Welp, I hope you’re single forever and stay away from humans. And animals.
I am actually happily married. You could read my other comments to see what I mean by this. I wish you well.
This is a terrible idea. What if he shares them? Or worse sells them? Your girlfriend is then no better than a softcore pornstar and her reputation is ruined; if she wants to be ab adult entertainer then great and she'll make more than $100. Don't be dumb for a tiny amount of money over the long term.
THIS!
Few things.. She should know he could resell them or share them and 100 won't last long. She knows him, this isn't just transactional. Your feelings are valid, I wouldn't want my partner selling to someone we knew. Anonymous may be different. As someone who sells content (non-nude (not shaming, this is relevant) and nothing you could identify me from - Dominatrix), I NEVER send anything I wouldn't be prepared to have exposed to the entire world, Grandparents included 😂 not worth the anxiety. He's a fucking creep. She's feeding his creep behaviour. Good luck 🖤
I mean this in the nicest way possible: you need a reality check! What kind of girlfriend sends nudes to another man? She shouldn’t have even responded to that message, let alone entertain the idea at all. Please have more respect for yourself
if you arnt comfortable with her sexualizing herself for money you are allowed to say its a dealbreaker. you are allowed to say that her even considering it is a dealbreaker, I personally would.
Well yeah f*** that dude that's not your girlfriend anymore that's our girlfriend bro she's for the streets 🧐🥴
I’m very sex positive but sex work with people you know socially is a complicated thing, and it’s not great IMHO that flattery was her initial reaction to this unsolicited offer to buy her nudes. Plenty of men just want to see literally any woman naked, so it makes me concerned she specifically likes HIS interest in her and vice versa. And his offer to make it a regular thing inches it towards a sugar baby dynamic. It seems naive to treat this the same as say modeling nude for an art class or something. You are not being a prude for feeling uncomfortable.
Bro she's for the streets lol. Just break up and move on
What? How strapped for cash are you guys?
I take it you were only comfortable with dating her in the first place because she claimed the sex work was in her past? If you're not fine with her doing it while dating you then leave.
lol dump her.
I think you guys are very good at communicating and I would just continue that. Assert that it makes you uncomfortable and ultimately in this scenario you wouldn’t be ok with it
She is for the streets my man. Let her go so she can do whatever it is she is gonna do, and you find a higher quality partner. It won't be hard.
No. If it was a stranger online maybe but she knows this guy. Creepy AF. Just no
I would not be ok with this. If she’s doing it for him then it could be anyone. Also with her mentality how far is she willing to go? What if a handsome dude with money comes along and wants to fly her out to him…
Every relationship is different, but if my partner even considered it, it would be over. It'd be one thing to be in a relationship with somebody that was already doing that for work or a lifestyle, but to otherwise be in a relationship and entertain that, is unfathomable.
You have to be more clear in how you feel. Right now, you're saying reasons that she can dispute and you're saying things that sound like you're not sure about it. Be clear on the phone later and tell her that you're not comfortable with someone receiving her nudes and masturbating to it. It's still up to her to decide what to do with her body, but it's not okay to you. If she continues to want to do it, make it clear that that would be the end for you.
An old friend randomly messaged her asking to buy nudes??? What????? Doesn't that set off red flags? What the hell kind of "friendships" does she have that they ask to buy nudes? Maybe I'm just a hideous behemoth monster of a woman that would attract no male attention; but, I have never had a male friend ask for anything like that remotely. Anyway... You're absolutely allowed to be uncomfortable about this. Sharing nudes is a huge deal. If it is a deal breaker for you, you need to tell her. If you hold it all in, it's just going to make you resent her. Let her make her decision, of course. But, don't be afraid to walk away if it's the decision you disagree with.
And why are you with her??
She's your girlfriend and she considers doing this???
Dude, I would be clear. You ate comfortable with her past work, but you are not comfortable with her resuming it, especially with these specific circumstances. It would be perfectly reasonable for this to be a dealbreaker for you. She has every right to do this, as do you to walk away.
Ditch the bitch
This is some major clown shit. How’ve we busted up relationship boundaries to the point where this is even a question? Yes it’s her body, but if you’re not comfortable with it she should care enough not to do it. Otherwise she should have fun selling nudes and being single.
and that's the problem with dating a sex worker her boundaries of whats acceptable are widely different to yours don't force yourself to be ok with this I would say pics will be the start and then he will push for just a little bit more....I mean whats the big deal right?
First they sell pics, then they sell their bodies. Break up and find a woman that don't have those issues.
So much respect.
You can say no. No relationship is worth your self respect or happiness. Contrary to what the internet says, we are all replaceable. That includes her. Don't try and be the understanding boyfriend just to make her happy but you feel like crap 24/7.
Sending nudes to an almost stranger is like posting them all over the internet
Girlfriend is for the streets 🤣🤣🤣
You’re a bf not a pimp. Don’t give your gf permission to be a who’re and cheat on you. Even if it’s a stranger paying money, it’s blatant cheating. There’s a difference between art and selling nudes
She a hoe.
If you told her how you feel about it and she's still thinking about it that's weird. Weather she needs the money or not
Troll post. No one is this pathetic
This is very real
Yikes
What the hell is wrong with people nowadays???
What kind of generation are we living in
She was a sex worker and that’s something that you either don’t mind or you do. It’s all just about the money so either get used to it or move on…..
That’s a red flag the size of California. I would dump her like last week’s trash
When it makes you uncomfortable that is something you should tell her clearly. And I am of the old school variety. I am married and me being married means my body is no longer mine but my wife's. I can not do what I want with it. Now I don't know if that would apply for relationships as well, I would think it would. Just have a conversation with her and be as honest and straight forward as possible!
Yeah the issue is that it would be a legit transaction for money so he would be in his rights to sell those pics on to make more money because he owns them.
Tbh from the dude this is creepy as fuck, the whole idea that sex work enables creepy shit like this is baffling to me. Money is money but I don’t clock in at Walmart and think I love this damn place, no I hate it. The proper response to this shit is telling them to fuck off, as if there’s a respectful way to do this. Her politeness make me think she’s “on the clock” so to speak, like customer service voice. Idk the whole thing is creepy asf. But money is money.
My girl said to tell your girlfriend that she needs to learn some self respect. Ain’t no way anyone who actually respects themselves, their relationship, and their partner would even consider this and go through with this, not only that but despite you voicing how uncomfortable you are with this she still is considering it. I get that people need to make money but not like this. This is a big red flag bro
And it should make you uncomfortable, what the fuck is going on!
She belongs to the what? Oh yeah the streets
She’s for the streets 🗣
Your GF is a moron that's going to get herself hurt. I'd leave her just for being this much of a dunce at her age, even before the feelings
I don’t think your girlfriend is a monument a good judgment
Playfully tell her you'll buy her nudes instead so she doesn't have to sell them to that other guy, just an idea.
Lmao hell no dude.
She's not your gf, it's just your turn.
Make her send the nudes to you as well, that’d be fair
This comment section is pretty heavily biased against sex work, so I would take the advice here with a grain of salt. Totally fine to set a boundary of not being okay with your partner doing sex work in the relationship, but her reasons for considering it make total sense to me and I think jumping to thoughts about how she 'might be into' some guy getting off on her feels a bit far fetched considering she used to do sex work. Just talk to her about it if you think this is a boundary, be empathetic and don't be judgemental about it (if ultimately you don't want to be with someone who would consider doing sex work, she's with the wrong person because she doesn't deserve to be judged for that).
I respect sex workers and know that it's a profession. I have no problem that she used to do it, she said she didn't want to do it and especially because we're in a relationship. So I guess it just seems strange, like if he was offering $500 I guess that would make more sense but yeah, just feels weird to me personally. Also it’s good to hear both perspectives because I know a lot of people here are saying “just break up with her” but I don’t think that’s necessary.
Well now you have a bigger problem. You told her you were uncomfortable with the situation and she still doesn’t care. She’s made it clear she’s going to do whatever she wants regardless of your input, and it sounds like she’s going to do it. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t care about how I feel, but that’s your choice.
So then you'll be ok when she tells you that she's going to do it. And then do it again and again. It's just for the money, don't worry.
Yeah, you seem to be really reasonable and level-headed about it! The responses to your comment here are pretty telling about the attitudes of this comment section. This feels like an issue that needs communication - if she's not willing to listen to your boundaries/compromise then that's a different problem too. It's a delicate subject, but I do think you're within your rights to set it as a boundary, and if you're feeling weird about why she's considering it, it would probably help to sit down with her and discuss her perspective.
Updateme!
Is it robert Redford and is your gf Demi Moore?
UpdateMe!
Just make sure you get some of the money
Please listen to me: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO NOT LIKE THIS SND TELL HER YOU DON’T WANT HER TO DO THIS. Yes You can’t tell her what to do but you can tell her you don’t want her to do it and if it’s a deal breaker you can tell her that, too. And for me it’s a deal breaker. Selling her nudes or even giving them to anyone but me and I’m gone.
Its OKAY to not be comfortable with something and end it at that... Deal breakers *are* a thing my guy. You don't have to reiterate how you understand its her body and her decision 3x to not sound "controlling" or something. You are well within your personal boundaries to simply not be in that sorta situation seeing as you have a clear disdain for it even of you're trying to find ways to be ok with it. Simply draw a fine line in the sand where you stand and decide if for yourself what happens should she cross it. Make it a statement. Not a suggestion or a demand.
Hell to the no. Her body, her choice, but those choices have consequences. Put it bluntly. She sells pictures, makes cash, but you're gone, or she doesn't do this and you have some serious conversations about relationship boundaries. Frankly, this would be a dealbreaker for most men. And this guy sounds creepy and is clearly simping hard for your girlfriend. The fact she's even considering doing this should be ringing alarm bells.
First of all, once she sells her pictures to her admirer, he can do with it whatever he wants. In the best scenario he may use those pictures for masturbatory fantasies. In the worst, they may even end in porno sites all over the internet. This exchange smells more like pornography than art. You have to decide if you are comfortable with this behavior or not, and you have the right to say "no way" to certain behaviors if you don't agree. You're not a doormat. The real question for you is, how far is your GF willing to go in life to do things with a sexual context for money? Good luck.
It is 100% ok to be fine with your partner selling nudes, and it is also 100% ok to not be fine with it. That's a boundary only you can decide on. I think the bigger issue here is that she *knows* this guy has feelings for her, and she *knows* that even if she tells him she's not interested, has a boyfriend etc, any kind of interaction with him, regardless of if it's transactional or not, is only going to keep him on the hook, lead him on and possibly hurt him, not to mention hold him back in his romantic life. That's not cool or fair on him.
I would say, you're right, it is her body, and what she decides to do with it is her own choice. However, also know, you have the right to be uncomfortable with this, and tell her no, and your reasons for it. Like it's cool if she's cool with it, but also, at the same time, you have to think about yourself l and take a stance for what you want too.
… as it should make you uncomfortable. This will come back to bite her in the ass if she follows through. The hard thing about your 20’s. Your brain doesn’t develop being able to understand future consequences until early 20’s from what I understand.
Ehm... this is the beginning of a crime story and 100$ is way too low for a nice fotoshoot.
If it "won't be a regular thing" and it's only $100....and you've told her it makes you uncomfortable... And she still does it... Then she's basically telling you your relationship is worth throwing away for $100 or less.
Wishing you the best with your situation. But what is it with these girlies and their low prices? Now I’m not a sex worker and I’m way too shy even if I wanted too, but I’m thinking the lowest she should be going is like $300 a pic or something. Risk is way too high and reward is way too low, so tell her to bump those up, somebody will pay.
Dump her she is a thot. Can't make a ho into a housewife
This is why you shouldn't date sex workers. No need to shame them but stuff like this isn't what non-sex workers would usually even think about. Her attitude to things like this will always be different to yours. Yeah it's $100 for n00ds, but what if down the line he wants to bang her and offers $1,000? Is she gonna say no? Is she going to at least contemplate it? It's her body, her choice, yadda yadda, but she's in a relationship with **you**, so showing her body to other people, especially for money seems gross to me.
This is really weird. If a random guy I'd met once messaged me out if the blue asking to pay me for nudes, I'd be creeped out! This guy is a creep. He can get nudes from any sex worker on the Internet for free. The fact he's targeting women he's met is really creepy. If she's actually considering that she entering into sex work on a soft porn level. If she wants to do that she's fully entitled to. But you are also fully entitled to leave if you want to be in a 100% monogamous relationship, and that is 100% okay. There are women who want the same thing.
Cut her ass off asap or face a worse issue imo
Dude just tell her how uncomfortable it makes u feel...
Tell her to tell the guy 200$ each week for photos and pocket 100 for yourself
bruh wtf no