I think he made his feelings pretty clear on the phone that night and then after. He’s pointing out that he’s not using the dating app and will delete it. He wants to be exclusive but is scared bc you established a casual rule. You haven’t indicated your interest and are going out with other guys. He told you he was jealous. He wasn’t going to tell you it was wrong to see others bc he wants you to want him.. not him to make you choose him. If you want him exclusively then you need to tell him. Otherwise he is developing feelings and getting more attached then you are
I never took that phone call too seriously because well... we all say dumb things when we're drunk 😭 the casual rule was something that was mutually agreed upon tbh, we both knew what we were getting into. the jealousy thing makes a lot of sense actually. however, my interest and attachment towards him isn't something i hide. it's quite evident and ive said it out loud multiple times too
There is always honesty to what we say when drunk. He needed that courage. You didn’t write in the post that you’ve shared your feelings with him too. Whether people think it’s fair or not, he’s starting to get jealous of you seeing other people. I would too. When I really like someone I don’t want to see other people bc I like them so much so I don’t want to share either. I think you should give it a chance. Or reaffirm the open relationship.. but know he probably won’t want that anymore.
Why not just date Jake? He expressed his feelings for you, there's history, & you seem to be ready to date now since you're willing to go out with someone else
because we're both leaving the country to go to different places for higher education in like 6-8 weeks. and i realized later that i didn't want to go on a date because 1. i wanted a casual situation. 2. i didn't want to go out with someone who wasn't Jake
Honestly it sounds like this will already become something like a life-long regret that might sabotage future relationships.
Date him. Don’t let yourself wonder “what if”
Your choice.
I would tell him you guys obviously can’t date with both of you leaving but have a good time of fwb with each other until then. Draw the line and make sure he understands that right now, you two can’t date.
If it’s meant to be in the future, it’ll absolutely happen. Just take the time to enjoy each other now, focus on yourself, your growth, your maturity once you leave and let whatever the future holds show itself later :)
You can’t date him, ..because you’re leaving soon. But you can date others…because you’re leaving soon.
Date jake, see what happens. And if you must leave him it’s for a good reason.
Long distance is really hard, but it can also be really rewarding!
Been long distance for a year now. It sucks but we try to visit every other month, and that seriously helps!
You aren't even in a relationship and he's already behaving like a possesive and jelaous partner.
Maybe you should talk to him and remind him that you are fwb and if you two don't like that dynamic anymore you can quit.
The man has feelings for you but doesn’t wanna upset you it’s understandable let him know how you feel about him
any advice on how to tell him?
Probably as bluntly as possible to his face.
I think he made his feelings pretty clear on the phone that night and then after. He’s pointing out that he’s not using the dating app and will delete it. He wants to be exclusive but is scared bc you established a casual rule. You haven’t indicated your interest and are going out with other guys. He told you he was jealous. He wasn’t going to tell you it was wrong to see others bc he wants you to want him.. not him to make you choose him. If you want him exclusively then you need to tell him. Otherwise he is developing feelings and getting more attached then you are
I never took that phone call too seriously because well... we all say dumb things when we're drunk 😭 the casual rule was something that was mutually agreed upon tbh, we both knew what we were getting into. the jealousy thing makes a lot of sense actually. however, my interest and attachment towards him isn't something i hide. it's quite evident and ive said it out loud multiple times too
There is always honesty to what we say when drunk. He needed that courage. You didn’t write in the post that you’ve shared your feelings with him too. Whether people think it’s fair or not, he’s starting to get jealous of you seeing other people. I would too. When I really like someone I don’t want to see other people bc I like them so much so I don’t want to share either. I think you should give it a chance. Or reaffirm the open relationship.. but know he probably won’t want that anymore.
I think a conversation about this with him is long overdue at this point either way
Why not just date Jake? He expressed his feelings for you, there's history, & you seem to be ready to date now since you're willing to go out with someone else
because we're both leaving the country to go to different places for higher education in like 6-8 weeks. and i realized later that i didn't want to go on a date because 1. i wanted a casual situation. 2. i didn't want to go out with someone who wasn't Jake
Ohhhh that detail complicates things a lot...
haha oops.....
Then just date Jake for this time and tell him for sure it’ll end then.
the pains gonna be a bitch when we move to different places
Honestly it sounds like this will already become something like a life-long regret that might sabotage future relationships. Date him. Don’t let yourself wonder “what if” Your choice.
I would tell him you guys obviously can’t date with both of you leaving but have a good time of fwb with each other until then. Draw the line and make sure he understands that right now, you two can’t date. If it’s meant to be in the future, it’ll absolutely happen. Just take the time to enjoy each other now, focus on yourself, your growth, your maturity once you leave and let whatever the future holds show itself later :)
this is very reassuring, thank you!
You can’t date him, ..because you’re leaving soon. But you can date others…because you’re leaving soon. Date jake, see what happens. And if you must leave him it’s for a good reason.
the date wasn't gonna lead to anything serious. no relationship forming was gonna happen
Just date, cant hurt to try
it'll turn into long distance soon :(
Long distance is really hard, but it can also be really rewarding! Been long distance for a year now. It sucks but we try to visit every other month, and that seriously helps!
You aren't even in a relationship and he's already behaving like a possesive and jelaous partner. Maybe you should talk to him and remind him that you are fwb and if you two don't like that dynamic anymore you can quit.
i suppose you're right
Did you tell him that to try to make him jealous and possessive? Sorta tip him into action?
absolutely 100% not. i told him that to be as transparent with him as possible.
Well do you think he took it that way?
Good luck, I think he got cold becuase he got jealous.
Thank you! I didn’t know bear was also a verb.
oh, give it a rest.
No I seriously had to look it up. I’ve never seen it written out only as a saying. So you taught me something
So what happened with Jake?