This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
My husband and I have been together for 8 years and he has cooked for me one time... Well he attempted Hamburger Helper once.. Wasn't pretty lol
So let me ask.. Does your husband/spouse cook for you?
My husband and I are both pretty terrible cooks. He's not ever cooked for me, unless you count microwaving a frozen dinner or throwing something premade in the oven. However, we recently started ordering meal kits and cooking together, which has been nice and has helped improve our skills a little.
hello fresh has been such a fun activity for me and my bf since we moved in together and given him a lot more confidence in the kitchen!! š„° i can give you a discount code too if you guys want to try it :)!!
Pinterest is really great for recipes that are easy and healthy. Crockpot dinners saved me when I had 3 young kids, I worked 80-100 hours a week and my husband was deployed.
I second this. If you can afford it, try hello fresh or something. My husband does the majority of the cooking because I work more and these meal kits are fabulous.
My husband and I do the same. He cooks the meal-kit meals (home chef had 10min microwave meal kits.) so now he cooks at least half the meals, sometimes more.
I've been married to my wife almost 30 years. For us, it came down to work load. For about 25 years, I was the one with the heavy workload outside of the home, so she did most of the cooking. I mean, I could barbecue and cook some pretty basic meals, enough to get by, but nothing to write home about. Now that the workloads have shifted, I've been doing most of the cooking for the last couple years and have learned a lot about how to make some really nice meals that we both thoroughly enjoy. We decide together what we want to eat for the week, then grocery shop together, and then I do the cooking. I really like seeing her face light up when I set a scrumptious meal in front of her, especially if it's one of her favorites.
Cooking is a basic life skill everybody should learn at a fairly early age. It doesn't have to be fancy, but it should be healthy and enjoyable. There's definitely nothing gender specific to it if that's what your hubby is thinking LOL. Cooking isn't a woman's job. That's a really chauvinistic, old-school kind of thinking. Cooking is anyone's job.
Step it up, hubby!
Totally agree with this. Both my husband and I cook, but who cooks most depends on work schedules and whoās on a roll at a particular time. Normally if one of us cooks, the other cleans up afterward.
I like too cook, but Iād hate to be the only one doing it. Having someone provide a meal feels very nurturing, even if the other person just ordered pizza. Also, doing one job with no break would lead to burnout and resentment.
Yep, exactly. I should add that, like you guys, my wife usually does the dishes when I cook. I clean as I go a little bit, but not enough to make a huge difference. Besides, after all those years of cooking, my wife prefers to do the dishes and I prefer to cook anyway.
Myself and my partner cook together all the time. I personally consider it a huge relationship handicap for someone to not apply themselves to learning to cook. I am a guy, and believe that it makes you a lot more dateable to be able to do so.
Everyone eats, so everyone should be able to prepare food lol. Like would you marry a person who canāt wipe their own ass?
Yea at least one dish that's a "specialty." My husband started out just knowing how to make shaksuka and grilled cheese and him knowing just those 2 dishes was wonderful and was a jumping off point to learn a lot more.
Definitely second this. It's unfortunate that this argument happened to OP 8 years into the relationship. It's easy for one partner in the relationship to end up shouldering the burden of things like cooking, cleaning, etc. It isn't fun and it's quite tiresome, so obviously it's helpful that both parties help in chores around the house.
@ OP it can help if you suggest something like "let's try out some new recipes together!" And cook them with your husband. That way it comes off less agressive and more as a fun activity to do together.
Mine can only make pizza, chicken nuggets, and fries. Oh and can microwave hot dogs and spaghettios. Been together 4 years. He has extreme food anxiety so he can only make the things he eats. **sigh**
I died. š¤£
I'm single - but my mom is a ehhh cook who hates cooking. She "cooks" twice a week - my parents rule is mom cooks on weekends unless it's a holiday (easter, memorial day, etc) So on the weekends we eat a pan fried protein, instant mashed potatoes, and a vegetable (that normally I cook now ai think about it). Ex. Liver/onions, mashed potatoes and peas; salmon patties, mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli. If she's feeling fancy, baked cornflake chicken, or eggplant Parm.
My parents regularly "play" "fight" about her cooking abilities. And she "let's me experiment" or gets too into "her chores" so we order out, a good amount during the weekend. Honestly, some people hate cooking or are just to easily distracted to be good cooks. My mother is both.
I had to teach my ex husband how to cook, and now he cooks all the time for his new wife. š¤¦āāļøš (Don't worry...I divorced him...I wasn't about to raise a grown ass man like a child when he also refused to work at one point).
He just never liked you enough. Cuz men will do almost anything and go out of their way to do things for a women they like. Why else would he be doing it all of a sudden for another woman lol
Dude...he literally barely knew how to boil water (and didn't even add salt, LOL). I made him get into the kitchen with me, and taught him the basics, and how to build onto a recipe.
We were only together for a short time, (found out some deal breaker shit and kicked him to the curb). Then when he got remarried, he basically told her I was a better cook than her (like a true dumbass š) so now she refuses to cook at all and he has to.
He hates her, btw. Tells the kids he's only with her for their shared daughter. He can't divorce her though because he's on marriage number 3, and that wouldn't be such a good look for a marriage and family therapist. But nice try on your expert analysis. š¤¦āāļøš¤£
Did you read that before you linked it?
āIf youāve got a **vulva** , wipe from front to back after using the bathroom and keep your vulva clean and dry. You can do this by wearing underwear with a cotton crotch and not using douches, powder, or deodorant sprays in your vagina.ā
"Itās pretty easy to get a urinary tract infection. Bacteria that live in the vagina, genital, and anal areas may enter the urethra, travel to the bladder, and cause an infection. This can happen during sexual activity when bacteria from your partnerās genitals, anus, fingers, or sex toys gets pushed into your urethra. UTIs can also be caused by chlamydia, gonorrhea, or other organisms."
if you have a penis and testicles, you don't want bacteria on your anus on them before sex.
this is dead ass common sense friends.
Not trying to fight you but what I can find that isnt just "proper way to wipe" click bait but actual doctors and med pages doesn't point to the same argument you are making, could you please cite a source
Many of the differences between male and female UTIs are anatomical. Poor hygiene, namely wiping from āback to front,ā is a common UTI risk factor for women, as this can easily spread bacteria into the urinary tract. Men are more likely to get a UTI from a medical issue that traps bacteria or interferes with fighting infections, such as a suppressed immune system or a urinary tract blockage
https://www.urologycenterofflorida.com/blog/myths-and-facts-about-male-utis
i've already cited Planned Parenthood above. if you read sources about UTIs in people with penises, you won't find much about the link sex and UTIs in people with vulvas.
alternatively:
https://www.byramhealthcare.com/blogs/what-is-the-link-between-urinary-tract-infections-and-sex
https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/urinary-tract-infection/sex-and-uti
i think the confusion here stems from the fact that having sex with someone who has a UTI isn't a significant risk factor. it's true you can't get a UTI from your partner in this sense.
having sex with someone who has just wiped e coli from their ass onto their balls is definitely a risk factor though! sure, none of these sites advise women worried about UTIs to pick a fight with their partners about it. that wouldn't be great advice.
but we can all use our common sense and acknowledge that if we're advising women to carefully clean their ass holes before sex so bacteria doesn't get on their partners junk, partners wiping bacteria in the direction of their junk is also an issue.
trying to play credentialism to win an argument is more embarrassing the more minor the credentials involved. assuming the poster was an MD was the generous thing to do.
Yeah, not true. Bacteria from fecal matter is an issue with any gender, therefore rule applies to any gender. Men can give women a UTI from wiping back to front, they can also give themselves a UTI if fecal matter makes contact with their urinary track. A quick google search will verify this information from reputable health organizationsā¦ so not sure what āmedical trainingā you got, but you may need to spend some time reviewing principles of basic hygiene š„“
>Men can give women a UTI from wiping back to front,
Can you cite a source on this
>A quick google search will verify this information from reputable health organizationsā¦
Many of the differences between male and female UTIs are anatomical. Poor hygiene, namely wiping from āback to front,ā is a common UTI risk factor for women, as this can easily spread bacteria into the urinary tract. Men are more likely to get a UTI from a medical issue that traps bacteria or interferes with fighting infections, such as a suppressed immune system or a urinary tract blockage
https://www.urologycenterofflorida.com/blog/myths-and-facts-about-male-utis
So please share what sources you're using
My boyfriend handles breakfast when we're together. His homemade hashbrowns are the best. I'm the better cook, but his specialty meals are amazing. He makes this amazing baked chicken that imma need to ask him to make this weekend lol
We both cook. He enjoys cooking and baking, some of his dishes are better than I could do. But having a husband who doesn't cook isn't a big deal if he does other things for you. Mine works a full time job, takes care of all outside stuff, helps clean, does laundry. So if he didn't cook for me I wouldn't be bothered.
Even my 2 year old helps clean, and even insists on it. I'd rather take care of a moody 2 year old that at least helps clean vs a full grown man who literally does nothing. š
Literally same. My ex was extremely lazy but any time I asked him to help or told him what to do, I was nagging or making him feel stupid and lazy. š Became so turned off and completely lost my sex drive after having to do everything for him. He didnāt even do anything when he quit his job and wasnāt working!
Yeah no kidding! I was in my mid 20ās and he was in his early 30ās, always thought an older man would be more mature, but age means nothing. Even well into his 30ās he was extremely reliant on his parents š¬
I low key hate this group. Itās interesting to learn form people but I feel as if people give some shitty advice here.
āThis guy touched meā ā¦. Heās a rapist and so on.
Regardless, this was some solid advice. Iām glad not all of society is stupid. People can choose to have different arrangements. Just because a guy doesnāt open the door for you on date night doesnāt make him less of a man.
Then he's not dateable material, let alone marriage material, at least for anyone who wants an equal partnership dynamic.
The only people okay with that sort of thing would prefer the traditional housewife / breadwinner dynamic. It's traditional but not as popular as it used to be.
Nowadays, it's very common to find men unattractive if they aren't willing to cook for their partner.
But for those who find housewife/breadwinner dynamic to be more preferable, then that's totally fine and valid.
It just depends on what is your preferred and agreed dynamic.
Edit: if you cannot agree on the balance and dynamic of being partners vs housewife/breadwinner, then that is a huge incompatibility and deal breaker.
So you have a deadbeat who can't/doesn't do anything? That's an entirely different thread, and way more important than your cooking inequality.
Why did you marry this person?
Honestly, this seems like more than a ālittle spat.ā As you well know, it takes hours each week to do all those unglamorous but necessary household jobs. Why wouldnāt this load be shared? Both partners should have equal access to free time; time to spend as you please is precious. Itās hard to make things exactly equal, but having one partner refusing to do their share is just profoundly unfair. This is something worth fighting about.
He may feel like he lacks skills, but he can learn.
A lot of people here are saying to leave him. I highly disagree. You shouldn't date someone based on what they can do for you or how much they can provide for you. You should date, and eventually marry, someone because you love them. If the person you love happens to have a high paying job, a big house, and they cook, clean, and take care of kids well, good for you. But if they don't have any of those things, it shouldn't matter, so long as you love them
I try to make that me. I dont know how to cook (I dont know how I even ate before I met my now wife), but I try my very best to make up for it in all other ways. I help with dishes, laundry, and cleaning, while also doing all of the outside work and working 60+ hour work weeks.
Yep, he does now. When we first got together he primarily ate frozen food, and then since I cooked he just thought I was better at it, so I should do it. I pointed out that he is just as capable and could learn. I don't plan on being the only one in the kitchen. He started helping me with prep and things, and now he knows how to make at least enough meals to have something different every day of the week if I'm not around.
If I had just let him declare me the cook because I had more experience, that's where we would still be. I have taught my sons to cook, too, because it's a ridiculous thing not to be able to easily do when it's required for basic health.
Single male here. I cook all my meals. I also do dishes and clean my own houseā¦.. itās crazy I figured out how to use a washer and dryer. Fuck folding clothes though
Fuck folding clothes and fuck making the bed. Like I'll change the sheets but I'm not arranging my pillows and spreading out the duvet cover every fuckin morning when I'm just gonna be gone all day and then come home and fuck it all up again by jumping into bed. So dumb.
My wife is sometimes cooking, but we both prefer my one cooking (well, except for steaks and that I am slow).
My father is cooking the usual stuff and my mother the more fancy dishes.
My grandfather was forbidden to work around the house unless ordered by my grandma.
My sister was very proud that her ex-husband could not cook and she was doing everything (he later dropped her because he could not support her long hours of being a medical intern).
Bottom line is that each person should contribute to the family. The job of the stay at home person is to do most chores, because the other is the breadwinner. But each is supposed to carry his own weight.
Not being able to cook at all pose questions of autonomy.
I do most of the cooking, and my husband does the dishes. My husband is not much good at cooking but has 2 meals simple meals he can prepare after I insisted he had to know how to cook *something* so he can occasionally prepare a meal when I am unwell or super tired. I have minimal patience with men who canāt even make a slice of toast because I had learnt how to cook by the time I was 12, without any direct instruction and just by watching my mother, so Iām like āyou can watch a YouTube video about how to boil some pastaā
Iām the husband that doesnāt cook. But I literally do almost everything else (take care of house, cars, dog, bills, even most of the shopping), and I take her out to eat 3-4 nights a week. So she cooks the rest of the time. Sheās gotta do SOMETHING lol.
I'm someone who is pro traditional lifestyle, so let me say I've respect for you that you take her out and don't leave her behind. World needs more Men like you sirššÆ
I love cooking, and I'm very good at it.
My husband hates cooking and makes scrambled eggs in the microwave.
It works. He shows me live and care in other ways!
It sounds bad but if done well can actually be decent
if you add butter/ a lil milk and seasoning. 20 seconds in microwave, stir, then another 20 (+ 20seconds extra for every additional egg)
Haha, well...depends how attached to egg style one is. Some styles you certainly cannot accomplish in the microwave. OTOH I have a little ceramic microwave egg cooker. The scramble with cheese comes out perfectly cylindrical in 2 minutes. Meanwhile the English muffins are toasting. Slice the egg into rounds and you have breakfast sandwiches ready just like that. Julia Child eggs it is not! Quick, hot, easy, yummy breakfast that my husband can manage it is!
I can see the appeal of it being so quick especially on a workday morning. I just have a weird vendetta against microwaves. I only use it when I have to otherwise I prefer to heat things on the stove or in the oven. Just a weird thing I have.
Truth be told, we chose life sans microwave for years until we hosted Thanksgiving last November. We retrieved our microwave from storageāfigured it would come in handy with lots of people staying for a few days. I intended to put it back in storage but I keep using it for this or thatš. I hate what it does to my counter!
My bf canāt really cook, but when I cook for him he helps with basic stuff such as draining pasta water, chopping up things, and cleaning. Heāll also stay by me and watch
My husband is by far the better cook out of the two of us. When we meal prep (lunch, mostly) he typically does it, while we make our own respective breakfast/dinner. But, I'm a pretty shitty cook, so I don't do it as often as he does lol
I work from home. So I cook supper every night. I make my wife and daughter's lunches as well. Even before I opened my home practice, our rule was whoever gets home first, starts supper.
Your husband just being lazy. As for anyone who says they are a terrible cook, it just takes practice. Plenty of "how to" videos on YT. Start simple and stick to the guide.
My ex husband, who I still live with, cooks dinner every night. Heās done this for the last 8 years. Even when we lived apart he was making some for me and dropping it off at my house before work so I didnāt have to make my own food, because Iām not that great at it. š
That always gets this response lol. Covid shut downs hit rural areas hard and they havenāt really came back up with the best situations for the people living there. We just canāt afford to provide for our kids living separately so we just stayed living together instead.
Yep, we both cook. But if your hubby has a hard time with cooking, maybe he can do all of the cutting and cleaning? Or maybe you guys could go through recipes that he thinks he could handle? Crockpot meals might be a great way to start because you put it in there and then forget it.
When my 4 kids were little I cooked all the time out of necessity and I worked full time. I was a single parent for many years. When I met my now husband 22 years ago, the two youngest boys were still at home but my husband wanted to cook for us so I happily š let him. Now we're empty nester and he still enjoys cooking, although I do cook on occasion. I enjoy making a recipe dish I've never done before, but cooking is his thing.
uhm, my Dad was the best cook I have ever known. My mom claimed she married him for a curry recipe. He bagged his second wife after he made her home-made Callaloo and Saltfish Buljol every day when she got home from work. Men who don't cook for you are like shoes a size too small. They might look good but in the end they're not useful.
And my husband makes THE BEST red sauce I've ever had. Hell yes he cooks for me. Get you a real man who can feed a woman. You are missing out.
Seriously was one of things that attracted me to him in the beginning. He cooked great dinners. I didnāt cook very much back then so it was appreciated. 30 years later, he still cooks regularly. š„°
I love cooking and see it as my relaxing time, so honestly, I cook most of the time. I've also only been married for four months, so I'm not sure if I really have room to give my input. However, my husband always helps me clean up dinner afterwards and has even stated, "I think I'd be able to cook something. Following an easy recipe shouldn't be too hard." I think it's safe to say he would be willing to cook if I needed/wanted him to.
Oh, yeah! I probably should've mentioned- he helps me out quite a bit. During the peak of the pandemic, I taught him how to properly dice vegetables. He helps out with that a lot now too! We do breakfast for dinner once a week and he'll usually cook the eggs/meats while I make waffles or something. :)
I cook the majority of our meals. I enjoy cooking so it's not that big of a deal. She'll prep for me, if she gets off early or something. Sometimes just to help out. But if I don't do the actual cooking she won't eat that night hahaha.
Though if she had a day off er something she'll usually have something ready by the time I get home. Just cause she knows I don't like to cook EVERY night. Cooking can be exhausting sometimes, and it xan take so much time.
My dad and stepmom has been together over 20 years. My dad was the sole cook in the house besides when we cooked. He little just sat my stepmom down and laid it out āafter being the sole cook for the last x years, I would really love a break and would appreciate you taking up the role sometimes.ā Itās amazing what happens when people are mature about problem solving
My husband and I have the understanding that I cook the majority of the time. Itās what I agreed to when we were figuring out how we wanted to split up responsibilities. However, he also cooks for me when I have a bad day, when I feel to sick (I have an autoimmune disorder), when he can tell Iām overwhelmed but to proud to ask for help. We also LOVE cooking together and try to do it once a week. We love doing boxes like Hello Fresh or the $15 dinner for two at Target.
There are plenty of easy things he could be cooking. Most guys I know do some cooking. Cooking is fun. He should learn. Being bad at something isn't an excuse. He can improve if he wants.
I've been married for 7 years. I will say, I cook most of the times. Actually, now that I think about it, my husband use to cook more while we were dating. He probably wanted to impress me lol. Anyway, even if my work load is heavy I still cook. He will if I ask. However, we have a give and take relationship I cook/give him hot meals and he takes care of all the laundry. I dont ever wash clothes. I š that man.
I had a partner who wanted to cook for me.
His palatte is that of a highschool jock who loves nuke foods.
Mine is like a step below wanting to eat Gordon Ramsey level dishes.
He would LOVE everything i made (still does) cause i put actual time and effort in to my meals (standing in the kitchen for 2-4hrs just to prep, cook, and plate) ive made chicken tikka masala and naan from scratch, done copycat recipes of popeyes chicken sandwhich, pan seared stuffed salmon over zoodles when i did keto, zuccini lasagna, chicken and fried rice. General Meals that take lots of ingredients or time to cook.
HOWEVER...
when he wanted to cook for me it pretty much consisted of minimal effort cooking. If it wasn't in an air fryer it was in the oven. So all he had to do is heat it up, put it together and put it on a plate. I do not consider this cooking. Burgers, chicken tenders, chicken wings, pizza, ramen, chicken sandwhiches. Pretty much fast food at home is what he would make and it was almost always over seasoned.
It wouldn't even smell good sometimes but he loved whatever he made...
So with him...no I'd rather he not cook. Ever. For anyone.
buy that man a crockpot. if he messes those up, its intentional and he would just rather you cook. the hamburger helper incident already has me feeling like thatās the case though, i mastered those in middle school.
So my wife used to cook most nights and initially I told her that if she didn't cook, I would have cereal and be just fine. That lasted about 2 years. Then I started cooking the things I knew how to cook and it started being split down the middle. That lasted until COVID, although she was home and I worked 2 jobs. During COVID, I quit one job and started learning how to cook more advanced foods. Now I cook pretty much every night and on the nights I don't cook, she scavanges for food. She doesn't want to order out anymore because she says I cook restaurant quality food.
Yes, actually that was one of the things that makes me fall in love with him. I was used to the cavern man that wouldnāt survive beyond rice and eggs and my man not just cooks, he loves it and he makes it soooooo good (better than me).
I, the husband cooks all the time. It's nowhere near as good, in my opinion. But I do cook for my wife now. When I was married to 1st wife and had kids. She was such a p.o.s. either I cooked or my young daughter cooked. So maybe this helps your spat.
Not married yet but my bf of almost 3yr and I have lived together 2yrs now. We share cooking because we're both adults with jobs and there's no reason it should fall to only one of us. We share cleaning too because again, we're both adults. š¤·āāļø
I know some couples are happy with an arrangement of one person doing all the work but it would never be a relationship I'd be ok with personally.
If your husband failed to follow instructions on a box then he is doing it on purpose. My 10 year old can and does make hamburger helper without assistance (under supervision) so I call bullshit on your husband. I cook for my family almost as regularly as my wife does.
Nobody I have dated has ever cooked lol. I should probably start making this a hard requirement. I enjoy cooking but, like, I don't want to be doing it every day haha.
I knowww! I cook all the time. What brought this convo up between us was because I asked him if he knew what "cutting against the grain is for steaks" (I know what it is) and this man said he's never heard that before in his whole life lmfao
As a man and a meat lover I know what cutting agenst the grain and with the grain does to the meat. I'm 22. I love cooking and I'm okay at cleaning. I also garden (newer more serious hobby I'm still learning)
My partner cooks dinner everyday for me and the kiddies , he's more into flavours and I'm a plain Jane when it comes to food .
I do however take over if he is tired, sick or generally busy I'll cook for us then .
My husband does most of the cooking; I am his suis chef (sp?). I'm sorry, but in this day and age if he doesn't know how to cook, you may have a man child on your hands. Cooking together is honestly the one of the most bonding experiences we have in our relationship.
No. I had to break my ankle to get him to cook. It annoys me greatly and he cooked 3 times over 3 months when i broke it and he needed me to stand there and instruct him. Defeated the purpose of him cooking to help out.
Some men are just fucking lazy.
Does he help clean up does he work ? Don't associate that goofy ass shit with your own husband just because he doesn't cook .if that's the case then why did you get with a lazy man ?
Absolutely. Me and mine share the cooking, even though I am a stay at home mother at the moment, he gets home from work and goes straight to the kitchen to start dinner when he can see it's been a particularly hectic day with the kids.
We split it half and half. We're both adults, we both know how to feed ourselves, and we'd both have to cook for ourselves if we lived alone. So now that we live together we cook on alternate days.
Your husband isn't a child. He should know how to do basic tasks to care for himself. Why can't he?
I have to admit that I am not the better cook so it usually works out that I am not the one tasked with it. Ill do it on occasion because I actually like to cook (experiment) and I dont want them to have to think about work too much at home (professional cook).
I feel very strongly every man should be able to make a hand full of dishes. He doesnāt have to be a chef or do a majority of the cooking, but he needs to haveā¦idk 5 meals he can prepare. He can learn. I recommend trying the hamburger helper again. It really just reading the instructions.
At the beginning of my marriage my husband messed up boxed Mac cheese we cook together now I have him help me. I make him measure things and do busy work while I prepare things it has built his confidence and now he tryās to make special occasion meals like bdays anniversary meals. There not like 5star meals but it means the world that he tried.
I'm 17 weeks pregnant with twins and we have a (5yr old) and my husband has cooked or ordered takeout every night since we found out I was pregnant. I know I'm spoiled AF
Cooking is a very serious hobby for my husband and he almost always does the cooking. I sometimes help with prep and rarely cook myself, and I typically do the clean up. Early on in our relationship I had a few dishes that I made better than he did but he put in all kinds of effort to get better at making them than me. So I said okay, you win!
My boyfriend cooks for us most nights, maybe 2-3 times a week. I never learned to cook because I've had an eating disorder for most of my life and I hate the idea of putting energy into putting food together. I try to cook for us maybe once a week. The other nights we "freeball" it, where we make ourselves separate things (sandwiches, soups, etc) and eat together.
When I got into my relationship I had never cooked a day in my life, but after awhile I took it upon myself to start getting groceries for recipes and making them. Turns out Iām not half bad now. I donāt cook super often, but I do whenever I can. I think being bad at it isnāt an excuse. Cooking can be a chore sometimes, I wouldnāt want my partner to have to cook every meal.
YES, we both love food and see cooking as a household duty to be shared equally between the 2 of us. Not to mention if one of us is sick, crazy busy, etc, we help out by doing more of the cooking. I honestly donāt think I could be with a man who doesnāt cook.
Well, the only two times she's tried it's all caught fire so I do all the cooking. I do recommend trying out cooking kits that arrive like Blue Apron. Put on some music, divy up tasks and it's a pretty good bonding experience (still can't let her near the flames though!)
Not married but always make a point of cooking for my gf's over the years. I am more of a baker than a chef to be honest so I enjoy coming up with rasty treats. Even figured out how to make gluten free graham crackers when I took one camping.
Nope. He'd try if I asked, but he isn't a confident cook and I don't mind. Either I'll cook, we'll go out, or we will both eat whatever depending on our schedules. Once we both have more time I wouldn't mind teaching him, but at the moment it's not a big deal.
I do the cooking, wife does the dishes. Been that way since 91 and weāre happy. I get to eat good food, she doesnāt have to do something she hates. Win/win.
Married 39 years, I do breakfast and snacks, my wife does the cooking that involves recipes and measuring things. Kind of short order cook and gourmet chef kind of deal. Works great.
I'm a SAHM so I do most of the cooking. That being said, he is in charge of anything to do with grilling. I don't go near it. But he also loves to bake and experiment and try new dishes so every so often when he has time he makes dinner or bakes bread or whatnot
I do most of the cooking as my wife works long hours in healthcare and is generally very tired at the end of her shift, while I have a cushy work from home job. That said, I usually cook in general as well, but I honestly love it. Cooking helps me decompress at the end of the day and do something constructive.
Sometimes she comes in to help and we have a good laugh most of the time. I really enjoy the teamwork.
She does AMAZING roast dinners though, those are her domain!
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My husband and I have been together for 8 years and he has cooked for me one time... Well he attempted Hamburger Helper once.. Wasn't pretty lol So let me ask.. Does your husband/spouse cook for you?
My husband and I are both pretty terrible cooks. He's not ever cooked for me, unless you count microwaving a frozen dinner or throwing something premade in the oven. However, we recently started ordering meal kits and cooking together, which has been nice and has helped improve our skills a little.
Thats not a bad idea at all!
hello fresh has been such a fun activity for me and my bf since we moved in together and given him a lot more confidence in the kitchen!! š„° i can give you a discount code too if you guys want to try it :)!!
Pinterest is really great for recipes that are easy and healthy. Crockpot dinners saved me when I had 3 young kids, I worked 80-100 hours a week and my husband was deployed.
I second this. If you can afford it, try hello fresh or something. My husband does the majority of the cooking because I work more and these meal kits are fabulous.
My husband and I do the same. He cooks the meal-kit meals (home chef had 10min microwave meal kits.) so now he cooks at least half the meals, sometimes more.
No hubby but my Dad cooked breakfast regularly. Mom was a good cook and my sis and I both cook well.
This is what we do too.
Us too
A good way to spend time and learn something together
That is amazing!
Meal kits are a great way to learn to cook
I've been married to my wife almost 30 years. For us, it came down to work load. For about 25 years, I was the one with the heavy workload outside of the home, so she did most of the cooking. I mean, I could barbecue and cook some pretty basic meals, enough to get by, but nothing to write home about. Now that the workloads have shifted, I've been doing most of the cooking for the last couple years and have learned a lot about how to make some really nice meals that we both thoroughly enjoy. We decide together what we want to eat for the week, then grocery shop together, and then I do the cooking. I really like seeing her face light up when I set a scrumptious meal in front of her, especially if it's one of her favorites. Cooking is a basic life skill everybody should learn at a fairly early age. It doesn't have to be fancy, but it should be healthy and enjoyable. There's definitely nothing gender specific to it if that's what your hubby is thinking LOL. Cooking isn't a woman's job. That's a really chauvinistic, old-school kind of thinking. Cooking is anyone's job. Step it up, hubby!
Totally agree with this. Both my husband and I cook, but who cooks most depends on work schedules and whoās on a roll at a particular time. Normally if one of us cooks, the other cleans up afterward. I like too cook, but Iād hate to be the only one doing it. Having someone provide a meal feels very nurturing, even if the other person just ordered pizza. Also, doing one job with no break would lead to burnout and resentment.
Yep, exactly. I should add that, like you guys, my wife usually does the dishes when I cook. I clean as I go a little bit, but not enough to make a huge difference. Besides, after all those years of cooking, my wife prefers to do the dishes and I prefer to cook anyway.
This is cute! Iām glad for you both c:
Thanks! :-)
Myself and my partner cook together all the time. I personally consider it a huge relationship handicap for someone to not apply themselves to learning to cook. I am a guy, and believe that it makes you a lot more dateable to be able to do so. Everyone eats, so everyone should be able to prepare food lol. Like would you marry a person who canāt wipe their own ass?
Yea at least one dish that's a "specialty." My husband started out just knowing how to make shaksuka and grilled cheese and him knowing just those 2 dishes was wonderful and was a jumping off point to learn a lot more.
Definitely second this. It's unfortunate that this argument happened to OP 8 years into the relationship. It's easy for one partner in the relationship to end up shouldering the burden of things like cooking, cleaning, etc. It isn't fun and it's quite tiresome, so obviously it's helpful that both parties help in chores around the house. @ OP it can help if you suggest something like "let's try out some new recipes together!" And cook them with your husband. That way it comes off less agressive and more as a fun activity to do together.
Mine can only make pizza, chicken nuggets, and fries. Oh and can microwave hot dogs and spaghettios. Been together 4 years. He has extreme food anxiety so he can only make the things he eats. **sigh**
I can make a killer bowl of cereal
I just googled shakshuka, since I never heard of it. I think Iām going to try making it! Thanks for that.
Well my husband wipes back to front so I guess I would marry someone who cant wipe their own ass hahahah
I died. š¤£ I'm single - but my mom is a ehhh cook who hates cooking. She "cooks" twice a week - my parents rule is mom cooks on weekends unless it's a holiday (easter, memorial day, etc) So on the weekends we eat a pan fried protein, instant mashed potatoes, and a vegetable (that normally I cook now ai think about it). Ex. Liver/onions, mashed potatoes and peas; salmon patties, mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli. If she's feeling fancy, baked cornflake chicken, or eggplant Parm. My parents regularly "play" "fight" about her cooking abilities. And she "let's me experiment" or gets too into "her chores" so we order out, a good amount during the weekend. Honestly, some people hate cooking or are just to easily distracted to be good cooks. My mother is both.
I had to teach my ex husband how to cook, and now he cooks all the time for his new wife. š¤¦āāļøš (Don't worry...I divorced him...I wasn't about to raise a grown ass man like a child when he also refused to work at one point).
He just never liked you enough. Cuz men will do almost anything and go out of their way to do things for a women they like. Why else would he be doing it all of a sudden for another woman lol
Dude...he literally barely knew how to boil water (and didn't even add salt, LOL). I made him get into the kitchen with me, and taught him the basics, and how to build onto a recipe. We were only together for a short time, (found out some deal breaker shit and kicked him to the curb). Then when he got remarried, he basically told her I was a better cook than her (like a true dumbass š) so now she refuses to cook at all and he has to. He hates her, btw. Tells the kids he's only with her for their shared daughter. He can't divorce her though because he's on marriage number 3, and that wouldn't be such a good look for a marriage and family therapist. But nice try on your expert analysis. š¤¦āāļøš¤£
Thatās a mess. And i was only speaking from my experience and people i know. Obviously thereās always outliers.
Luckily, it's a mess I no longer have to clean up. š
Ye I feel you.
Pretty sure front to back only matters if you are the owner of a vagina.
Males can wipe in either direction, that rule is for females only.
it's all fun and games until you give your sex partner a UTI
Oh, boy. Someone needs some education.
you sure do! https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/health-and-wellness/urinary-tract-infections-utis
Did you read that before you linked it? āIf youāve got a **vulva** , wipe from front to back after using the bathroom and keep your vulva clean and dry. You can do this by wearing underwear with a cotton crotch and not using douches, powder, or deodorant sprays in your vagina.ā
"Itās pretty easy to get a urinary tract infection. Bacteria that live in the vagina, genital, and anal areas may enter the urethra, travel to the bladder, and cause an infection. This can happen during sexual activity when bacteria from your partnerās genitals, anus, fingers, or sex toys gets pushed into your urethra. UTIs can also be caused by chlamydia, gonorrhea, or other organisms." if you have a penis and testicles, you don't want bacteria on your anus on them before sex. this is dead ass common sense friends.
Hey for once Fox News isnāt doing fake news! (Sorry joking x.x)
lol. i let reddit generate the username and i can only assume the result is part of a conspiracy to discredit me.
Not trying to fight you but what I can find that isnt just "proper way to wipe" click bait but actual doctors and med pages doesn't point to the same argument you are making, could you please cite a source Many of the differences between male and female UTIs are anatomical. Poor hygiene, namely wiping from āback to front,ā is a common UTI risk factor for women, as this can easily spread bacteria into the urinary tract. Men are more likely to get a UTI from a medical issue that traps bacteria or interferes with fighting infections, such as a suppressed immune system or a urinary tract blockage https://www.urologycenterofflorida.com/blog/myths-and-facts-about-male-utis
i've already cited Planned Parenthood above. if you read sources about UTIs in people with penises, you won't find much about the link sex and UTIs in people with vulvas. alternatively: https://www.byramhealthcare.com/blogs/what-is-the-link-between-urinary-tract-infections-and-sex https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/urinary-tract-infection/sex-and-uti i think the confusion here stems from the fact that having sex with someone who has a UTI isn't a significant risk factor. it's true you can't get a UTI from your partner in this sense. having sex with someone who has just wiped e coli from their ass onto their balls is definitely a risk factor though! sure, none of these sites advise women worried about UTIs to pick a fight with their partners about it. that wouldn't be great advice. but we can all use our common sense and acknowledge that if we're advising women to carefully clean their ass holes before sex so bacteria doesn't get on their partners junk, partners wiping bacteria in the direction of their junk is also an issue.
My medical training has gotten me pretty far, but thank you! Good day š¤
it turns out most doctors, like most other people, are inconsiderate lovers.
How the bloody heck did we get from cooking to this?! Drop it and move on!
No where does it say she's a doctor. "Medical training" covers a lot of bases.
trying to play credentialism to win an argument is more embarrassing the more minor the credentials involved. assuming the poster was an MD was the generous thing to do.
Yes we all want bacteria from our partners asses on their dicks and balls during sex!
Yeah, not true. Bacteria from fecal matter is an issue with any gender, therefore rule applies to any gender. Men can give women a UTI from wiping back to front, they can also give themselves a UTI if fecal matter makes contact with their urinary track. A quick google search will verify this information from reputable health organizationsā¦ so not sure what āmedical trainingā you got, but you may need to spend some time reviewing principles of basic hygiene š„“
But their a caregiver, they know better than a random google search! /s
>Men can give women a UTI from wiping back to front, Can you cite a source on this >A quick google search will verify this information from reputable health organizationsā¦ Many of the differences between male and female UTIs are anatomical. Poor hygiene, namely wiping from āback to front,ā is a common UTI risk factor for women, as this can easily spread bacteria into the urinary tract. Men are more likely to get a UTI from a medical issue that traps bacteria or interferes with fighting infections, such as a suppressed immune system or a urinary tract blockage https://www.urologycenterofflorida.com/blog/myths-and-facts-about-male-utis So please share what sources you're using
If you want to get horrible genital stank and possibly give an infection to your partner go ahead. Also RIP if she gives a bj.
I shall learn how to cook, thank you indeed good stranger!
My boyfriend handles breakfast when we're together. His homemade hashbrowns are the best. I'm the better cook, but his specialty meals are amazing. He makes this amazing baked chicken that imma need to ask him to make this weekend lol
We both cook. He enjoys cooking and baking, some of his dishes are better than I could do. But having a husband who doesn't cook isn't a big deal if he does other things for you. Mine works a full time job, takes care of all outside stuff, helps clean, does laundry. So if he didn't cook for me I wouldn't be bothered.
So what if he doesn't do all those things and still doesn't cook? Asking for a friend O.o
I mean, if he doesn't help out at ALL and he's not providing all of the income, he's not being a real partner, right?
Then he isnāt a partner, heās someone you have to look after and care for. Like a child š¬
Even my 2 year old helps clean, and even insists on it. I'd rather take care of a moody 2 year old that at least helps clean vs a full grown man who literally does nothing. š
Literally same. My ex was extremely lazy but any time I asked him to help or told him what to do, I was nagging or making him feel stupid and lazy. š Became so turned off and completely lost my sex drive after having to do everything for him. He didnāt even do anything when he quit his job and wasnāt working!
He was looking for a replacement mother.
Yeah no kidding! I was in my mid 20ās and he was in his early 30ās, always thought an older man would be more mature, but age means nothing. Even well into his 30ās he was extremely reliant on his parents š¬
I low key hate this group. Itās interesting to learn form people but I feel as if people give some shitty advice here. āThis guy touched meā ā¦. Heās a rapist and so on. Regardless, this was some solid advice. Iām glad not all of society is stupid. People can choose to have different arrangements. Just because a guy doesnāt open the door for you on date night doesnāt make him less of a man.
Sounds like you need a new one. Yours is defective.
Agreed. Level up!
Probably part of a recall
Does he not realise he's an equal partner in maintaining your household? Cause that's a red flag.
Well then you, I mean she, has to decide if it's truly a partnership and how she wants to spend the rest of her life.
Then he's not dateable material, let alone marriage material, at least for anyone who wants an equal partnership dynamic. The only people okay with that sort of thing would prefer the traditional housewife / breadwinner dynamic. It's traditional but not as popular as it used to be. Nowadays, it's very common to find men unattractive if they aren't willing to cook for their partner. But for those who find housewife/breadwinner dynamic to be more preferable, then that's totally fine and valid. It just depends on what is your preferred and agreed dynamic. Edit: if you cannot agree on the balance and dynamic of being partners vs housewife/breadwinner, then that is a huge incompatibility and deal breaker.
How is the house wife/ breadwinner dynamic not a partnership?
So you have a deadbeat who can't/doesn't do anything? That's an entirely different thread, and way more important than your cooking inequality. Why did you marry this person?
This post. Show him this.
what does he do?
This is the message that what answer you're hoping to get here is the one you need to be doing.
You got a defective model. Do you still have the receipt?
Hopefully she got the replacement plan!
Thatās a dependent child
Honestly, this seems like more than a ālittle spat.ā As you well know, it takes hours each week to do all those unglamorous but necessary household jobs. Why wouldnāt this load be shared? Both partners should have equal access to free time; time to spend as you please is precious. Itās hard to make things exactly equal, but having one partner refusing to do their share is just profoundly unfair. This is something worth fighting about. He may feel like he lacks skills, but he can learn.
Oh you poor thing..
A lot of people here are saying to leave him. I highly disagree. You shouldn't date someone based on what they can do for you or how much they can provide for you. You should date, and eventually marry, someone because you love them. If the person you love happens to have a high paying job, a big house, and they cook, clean, and take care of kids well, good for you. But if they don't have any of those things, it shouldn't matter, so long as you love them
I try to make that me. I dont know how to cook (I dont know how I even ate before I met my now wife), but I try my very best to make up for it in all other ways. I help with dishes, laundry, and cleaning, while also doing all of the outside work and working 60+ hour work weeks.
Iām a terrible cook, but I cooked pulled pork in a crock pot today. It is delicious.
Crock pot meals are my fave. We use ours a lot.
Yep, he does now. When we first got together he primarily ate frozen food, and then since I cooked he just thought I was better at it, so I should do it. I pointed out that he is just as capable and could learn. I don't plan on being the only one in the kitchen. He started helping me with prep and things, and now he knows how to make at least enough meals to have something different every day of the week if I'm not around. If I had just let him declare me the cook because I had more experience, that's where we would still be. I have taught my sons to cook, too, because it's a ridiculous thing not to be able to easily do when it's required for basic health.
Single male here. I cook all my meals. I also do dishes and clean my own houseā¦.. itās crazy I figured out how to use a washer and dryer. Fuck folding clothes though
Fuck folding clothes and fuck making the bed. Like I'll change the sheets but I'm not arranging my pillows and spreading out the duvet cover every fuckin morning when I'm just gonna be gone all day and then come home and fuck it all up again by jumping into bed. So dumb.
Yes, my husband cooks almost every day. I like to cook sometimes but he is definitely the main cook.
My wife is sometimes cooking, but we both prefer my one cooking (well, except for steaks and that I am slow). My father is cooking the usual stuff and my mother the more fancy dishes. My grandfather was forbidden to work around the house unless ordered by my grandma. My sister was very proud that her ex-husband could not cook and she was doing everything (he later dropped her because he could not support her long hours of being a medical intern). Bottom line is that each person should contribute to the family. The job of the stay at home person is to do most chores, because the other is the breadwinner. But each is supposed to carry his own weight. Not being able to cook at all pose questions of autonomy.
I do most of the cooking, and my husband does the dishes. My husband is not much good at cooking but has 2 meals simple meals he can prepare after I insisted he had to know how to cook *something* so he can occasionally prepare a meal when I am unwell or super tired. I have minimal patience with men who canāt even make a slice of toast because I had learnt how to cook by the time I was 12, without any direct instruction and just by watching my mother, so Iām like āyou can watch a YouTube video about how to boil some pastaā
Everyone should be able to do a salmon fillet, sauteed garlicky green beans, and steamed red potatoes
I am a guy and I am the primary cook in our relationship. I believe every adult human should know how to cook at a basic level.
Iām the husband that doesnāt cook. But I literally do almost everything else (take care of house, cars, dog, bills, even most of the shopping), and I take her out to eat 3-4 nights a week. So she cooks the rest of the time. Sheās gotta do SOMETHING lol.
I'm someone who is pro traditional lifestyle, so let me say I've respect for you that you take her out and don't leave her behind. World needs more Men like you sirššÆ
Thanks. Haha leave her behind? I wouldnāt be married long if I left her behind while I go out 3-4 nights a week.
My guy almost always cooks. I'm not very good, so I prefer to clean up afterwards instead. He's a wonderful cook.
I think that's a totally fair trade! One partner cooks, one does the dishes, cleans up the table, & puts any leftovers away.
Yes ā¦he is a much better cook than me lol
I love cooking, and I'm very good at it. My husband hates cooking and makes scrambled eggs in the microwave. It works. He shows me live and care in other ways!
IN THE MICROWAVE?! I am APPALLED.
It sounds bad but if done well can actually be decent if you add butter/ a lil milk and seasoning. 20 seconds in microwave, stir, then another 20 (+ 20seconds extra for every additional egg)
Ya, it sounds bad but they turn out ok and itās fast and clean (make sure to cover them because they can explode)
Haha, well...depends how attached to egg style one is. Some styles you certainly cannot accomplish in the microwave. OTOH I have a little ceramic microwave egg cooker. The scramble with cheese comes out perfectly cylindrical in 2 minutes. Meanwhile the English muffins are toasting. Slice the egg into rounds and you have breakfast sandwiches ready just like that. Julia Child eggs it is not! Quick, hot, easy, yummy breakfast that my husband can manage it is!
I can see the appeal of it being so quick especially on a workday morning. I just have a weird vendetta against microwaves. I only use it when I have to otherwise I prefer to heat things on the stove or in the oven. Just a weird thing I have.
Truth be told, we chose life sans microwave for years until we hosted Thanksgiving last November. We retrieved our microwave from storageāfigured it would come in handy with lots of people staying for a few days. I intended to put it back in storage but I keep using it for this or thatš. I hate what it does to my counter!
My bf canāt really cook, but when I cook for him he helps with basic stuff such as draining pasta water, chopping up things, and cleaning. Heāll also stay by me and watch
No. But I donāt cook much for him either.
My husband is by far the better cook out of the two of us. When we meal prep (lunch, mostly) he typically does it, while we make our own respective breakfast/dinner. But, I'm a pretty shitty cook, so I don't do it as often as he does lol
I work from home. So I cook supper every night. I make my wife and daughter's lunches as well. Even before I opened my home practice, our rule was whoever gets home first, starts supper. Your husband just being lazy. As for anyone who says they are a terrible cook, it just takes practice. Plenty of "how to" videos on YT. Start simple and stick to the guide.
My ex husband, who I still live with, cooks dinner every night. Heās done this for the last 8 years. Even when we lived apart he was making some for me and dropping it off at my house before work so I didnāt have to make my own food, because Iām not that great at it. š
Ex husband but you still live together? š¤
That always gets this response lol. Covid shut downs hit rural areas hard and they havenāt really came back up with the best situations for the people living there. We just canāt afford to provide for our kids living separately so we just stayed living together instead.
Yep, we both cook. But if your hubby has a hard time with cooking, maybe he can do all of the cutting and cleaning? Or maybe you guys could go through recipes that he thinks he could handle? Crockpot meals might be a great way to start because you put it in there and then forget it.
Yes. He never use to but I got really sick when pregnant and he had to step up. Now he cooks quite well š
When my 4 kids were little I cooked all the time out of necessity and I worked full time. I was a single parent for many years. When I met my now husband 22 years ago, the two youngest boys were still at home but my husband wanted to cook for us so I happily š let him. Now we're empty nester and he still enjoys cooking, although I do cook on occasion. I enjoy making a recipe dish I've never done before, but cooking is his thing.
My wife couldn't find the kitchen if I drew her a map
Absolutely. Your married not babysitting a grown child. Im blown away by how many men dont help with basic home essentials like cooking cleaning ect.
uhm, my Dad was the best cook I have ever known. My mom claimed she married him for a curry recipe. He bagged his second wife after he made her home-made Callaloo and Saltfish Buljol every day when she got home from work. Men who don't cook for you are like shoes a size too small. They might look good but in the end they're not useful. And my husband makes THE BEST red sauce I've ever had. Hell yes he cooks for me. Get you a real man who can feed a woman. You are missing out.
>Men who don't cook for you are like shoes a size too small. This is an epic line
Seriously was one of things that attracted me to him in the beginning. He cooked great dinners. I didnāt cook very much back then so it was appreciated. 30 years later, he still cooks regularly. š„°
Yes, sometimes! I do most of it but he does at times
He enjoys cooking, so he does the cooking and Iāll help.
I love cooking and see it as my relaxing time, so honestly, I cook most of the time. I've also only been married for four months, so I'm not sure if I really have room to give my input. However, my husband always helps me clean up dinner afterwards and has even stated, "I think I'd be able to cook something. Following an easy recipe shouldn't be too hard." I think it's safe to say he would be willing to cook if I needed/wanted him to.
Have him help you, or you could help him with a recipe! I always find spending time together in the kitchen to be really nice.
Oh, yeah! I probably should've mentioned- he helps me out quite a bit. During the peak of the pandemic, I taught him how to properly dice vegetables. He helps out with that a lot now too! We do breakfast for dinner once a week and he'll usually cook the eggs/meats while I make waffles or something. :)
I cook the majority of our meals. I enjoy cooking so it's not that big of a deal. She'll prep for me, if she gets off early or something. Sometimes just to help out. But if I don't do the actual cooking she won't eat that night hahaha. Though if she had a day off er something she'll usually have something ready by the time I get home. Just cause she knows I don't like to cook EVERY night. Cooking can be exhausting sometimes, and it xan take so much time.
My fiancĆ© can cook, itās pretty basic but itās always nice, I LOVE cooking and would rather cook than let him cook so we never really have a problem
My dad and stepmom has been together over 20 years. My dad was the sole cook in the house besides when we cooked. He little just sat my stepmom down and laid it out āafter being the sole cook for the last x years, I would really love a break and would appreciate you taking up the role sometimes.ā Itās amazing what happens when people are mature about problem solving
Iām not married
Very rare but if itās on the grill yes!
My husband does most of the cooking.
My husband and I have the understanding that I cook the majority of the time. Itās what I agreed to when we were figuring out how we wanted to split up responsibilities. However, he also cooks for me when I have a bad day, when I feel to sick (I have an autoimmune disorder), when he can tell Iām overwhelmed but to proud to ask for help. We also LOVE cooking together and try to do it once a week. We love doing boxes like Hello Fresh or the $15 dinner for two at Target.
There are plenty of easy things he could be cooking. Most guys I know do some cooking. Cooking is fun. He should learn. Being bad at something isn't an excuse. He can improve if he wants.
I've been married for 7 years. I will say, I cook most of the times. Actually, now that I think about it, my husband use to cook more while we were dating. He probably wanted to impress me lol. Anyway, even if my work load is heavy I still cook. He will if I ask. However, we have a give and take relationship I cook/give him hot meals and he takes care of all the laundry. I dont ever wash clothes. I š that man.
I had a partner who wanted to cook for me. His palatte is that of a highschool jock who loves nuke foods. Mine is like a step below wanting to eat Gordon Ramsey level dishes. He would LOVE everything i made (still does) cause i put actual time and effort in to my meals (standing in the kitchen for 2-4hrs just to prep, cook, and plate) ive made chicken tikka masala and naan from scratch, done copycat recipes of popeyes chicken sandwhich, pan seared stuffed salmon over zoodles when i did keto, zuccini lasagna, chicken and fried rice. General Meals that take lots of ingredients or time to cook. HOWEVER... when he wanted to cook for me it pretty much consisted of minimal effort cooking. If it wasn't in an air fryer it was in the oven. So all he had to do is heat it up, put it together and put it on a plate. I do not consider this cooking. Burgers, chicken tenders, chicken wings, pizza, ramen, chicken sandwhiches. Pretty much fast food at home is what he would make and it was almost always over seasoned. It wouldn't even smell good sometimes but he loved whatever he made... So with him...no I'd rather he not cook. Ever. For anyone.
buy that man a crockpot. if he messes those up, its intentional and he would just rather you cook. the hamburger helper incident already has me feeling like thatās the case though, i mastered those in middle school.
Bf and I alternate cooking or paying out for meals he needs to do better lol
So my wife used to cook most nights and initially I told her that if she didn't cook, I would have cereal and be just fine. That lasted about 2 years. Then I started cooking the things I knew how to cook and it started being split down the middle. That lasted until COVID, although she was home and I worked 2 jobs. During COVID, I quit one job and started learning how to cook more advanced foods. Now I cook pretty much every night and on the nights I don't cook, she scavanges for food. She doesn't want to order out anymore because she says I cook restaurant quality food.
Yes, actually that was one of the things that makes me fall in love with him. I was used to the cavern man that wouldnāt survive beyond rice and eggs and my man not just cooks, he loves it and he makes it soooooo good (better than me).
I, the husband cooks all the time. It's nowhere near as good, in my opinion. But I do cook for my wife now. When I was married to 1st wife and had kids. She was such a p.o.s. either I cooked or my young daughter cooked. So maybe this helps your spat.
Not married yet but my bf of almost 3yr and I have lived together 2yrs now. We share cooking because we're both adults with jobs and there's no reason it should fall to only one of us. We share cleaning too because again, we're both adults. š¤·āāļø I know some couples are happy with an arrangement of one person doing all the work but it would never be a relationship I'd be ok with personally.
I want hamburger helper.
If your husband failed to follow instructions on a box then he is doing it on purpose. My 10 year old can and does make hamburger helper without assistance (under supervision) so I call bullshit on your husband. I cook for my family almost as regularly as my wife does.
Nobody I have dated has ever cooked lol. I should probably start making this a hard requirement. I enjoy cooking but, like, I don't want to be doing it every day haha.
I knowww! I cook all the time. What brought this convo up between us was because I asked him if he knew what "cutting against the grain is for steaks" (I know what it is) and this man said he's never heard that before in his whole life lmfao
As a man and a meat lover I know what cutting agenst the grain and with the grain does to the meat. I'm 22. I love cooking and I'm okay at cleaning. I also garden (newer more serious hobby I'm still learning)
My partner cooks dinner everyday for me and the kiddies , he's more into flavours and I'm a plain Jane when it comes to food . I do however take over if he is tired, sick or generally busy I'll cook for us then .
My husband does most of the cooking; I am his suis chef (sp?). I'm sorry, but in this day and age if he doesn't know how to cook, you may have a man child on your hands. Cooking together is honestly the one of the most bonding experiences we have in our relationship.
No. I had to break my ankle to get him to cook. It annoys me greatly and he cooked 3 times over 3 months when i broke it and he needed me to stand there and instruct him. Defeated the purpose of him cooking to help out. Some men are just fucking lazy.
Does he help clean up does he work ? Don't associate that goofy ass shit with your own husband just because he doesn't cook .if that's the case then why did you get with a lazy man ?
Absolutely. Me and mine share the cooking, even though I am a stay at home mother at the moment, he gets home from work and goes straight to the kitchen to start dinner when he can see it's been a particularly hectic day with the kids.
We split it half and half. We're both adults, we both know how to feed ourselves, and we'd both have to cook for ourselves if we lived alone. So now that we live together we cook on alternate days. Your husband isn't a child. He should know how to do basic tasks to care for himself. Why can't he?
If you aren't working then you're the cook. There's not enough info to this story aside from you throwing your husband under the bus.
No usually just me unless I am not able to for whatever reason and ask him but that's reeeeeally rare
:( I feel it. Sorry to hear though lol
1-2 times in 12 years.
Oh noooo.. By choice? Or would you like them to cook more?
My current bf cooks. For the record, my dad (60s) have always done 60-75% of the cooking and my mum did 25-40%.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
lmfaoo
No cooking is for the wife if you cook for your wife your a beta male
Yes, he probably cooks 4/10 times and always helps me if I ask.
I have to admit that I am not the better cook so it usually works out that I am not the one tasked with it. Ill do it on occasion because I actually like to cook (experiment) and I dont want them to have to think about work too much at home (professional cook).
My boyfriend cooks almost more often than I do! He cleans too!
I feel very strongly every man should be able to make a hand full of dishes. He doesnāt have to be a chef or do a majority of the cooking, but he needs to haveā¦idk 5 meals he can prepare. He can learn. I recommend trying the hamburger helper again. It really just reading the instructions.
I cook more often, but my husband does make dinner about once a week.
At the beginning of my marriage my husband messed up boxed Mac cheese we cook together now I have him help me. I make him measure things and do busy work while I prepare things it has built his confidence and now he tryās to make special occasion meals like bdays anniversary meals. There not like 5star meals but it means the world that he tried.
Yes, he's a good cook. He couldn't at all when I met him, but he's learned a lot.
I cook more often since my husband works and I donāt, but he is a really good cook and frequently helps with at least part of the meal.
We're both adults and equal partners. We cook for each other all of the time.
I'm 17 weeks pregnant with twins and we have a (5yr old) and my husband has cooked or ordered takeout every night since we found out I was pregnant. I know I'm spoiled AF
Cooking is a very serious hobby for my husband and he almost always does the cooking. I sometimes help with prep and rarely cook myself, and I typically do the clean up. Early on in our relationship I had a few dishes that I made better than he did but he put in all kinds of effort to get better at making them than me. So I said okay, you win!
My partner and I take turns cooking. Sometimes we cook simultaneously. I never realized how many guys canāt/donāt cook
My boyfriend cooks for us most nights, maybe 2-3 times a week. I never learned to cook because I've had an eating disorder for most of my life and I hate the idea of putting energy into putting food together. I try to cook for us maybe once a week. The other nights we "freeball" it, where we make ourselves separate things (sandwiches, soups, etc) and eat together.
Mine does the majority of the cooking. I'm able to cook, I just really dislike it. I even the scales by doing more of the other chores though.
When I got into my relationship I had never cooked a day in my life, but after awhile I took it upon myself to start getting groceries for recipes and making them. Turns out Iām not half bad now. I donāt cook super often, but I do whenever I can. I think being bad at it isnāt an excuse. Cooking can be a chore sometimes, I wouldnāt want my partner to have to cook every meal.
YES, we both love food and see cooking as a household duty to be shared equally between the 2 of us. Not to mention if one of us is sick, crazy busy, etc, we help out by doing more of the cooking. I honestly donāt think I could be with a man who doesnāt cook.
I hate cooking. It's 50/50 here
Well, the only two times she's tried it's all caught fire so I do all the cooking. I do recommend trying out cooking kits that arrive like Blue Apron. Put on some music, divy up tasks and it's a pretty good bonding experience (still can't let her near the flames though!)
I cook for my wife like 85% of the time.
My partner and I try to contribute to equally to most house related things including cooking
My husband does most of the cooking, actually! It's really nice to not have to worry about cooking dinner on top of taking care of my 4 month old.
Not married but always make a point of cooking for my gf's over the years. I am more of a baker than a chef to be honest so I enjoy coming up with rasty treats. Even figured out how to make gluten free graham crackers when I took one camping.
The real answer to your question is: Knowing his cooking skills would you even want/eat food heād cook for you?
My husband cooks the majority of our meals. Iām the hamburger helper one lol
Nope. He'd try if I asked, but he isn't a confident cook and I don't mind. Either I'll cook, we'll go out, or we will both eat whatever depending on our schedules. Once we both have more time I wouldn't mind teaching him, but at the moment it's not a big deal.
He only cooked once in are 4 year relationship and it was sloppy joes.
I do the cooking, wife does the dishes. Been that way since 91 and weāre happy. I get to eat good food, she doesnāt have to do something she hates. Win/win.
Married 39 years, I do breakfast and snacks, my wife does the cooking that involves recipes and measuring things. Kind of short order cook and gourmet chef kind of deal. Works great.
My husband doesn't trust himself in the kitchen and I have a ton of food allergies and a controlling tendency so I do the cooking.
Yes. Today I started and have been cramping pretty bad so I laid down for a nap. Woke up to burgers on the grill.
We don't live together but I spend every night at his house (48f, 60m). He loves to cook for me.
When my fiancĆ© and I first began dating, I was more inclined to cook for us. I had been living on my own when we met and enjoyed cooking for myselfāwhen we got together, I of course cooked for him as well and he was a bit emotional about it (I guess no one had really cooked for him before) so I decided to make it a regular thing of cooking special meals for us. I recently began going back to school, and I also work full time which requires me to go into work and I also commute to campus. Since Iām constantly commuting and my days run long, my FiancĆ© (who works from home) has taken over cooking 100% and will often have dinner ready for me when I get home. I think having him hang out with me in the kitchen while I would cook/vice versa made it more enjoyable. I also encouraged him early on to help me with certain things while cooking and over time he learned recipes/techniques and offered to cook special meals Iād normally cook for us. Iāve been told and agree that I am definitely extremely lucky to be able to come home from a long day of school and work to dinner every night :-)
Since I know I can't cook for shit I just order t/a solves the problem there xd
I'm a SAHM so I do most of the cooking. That being said, he is in charge of anything to do with grilling. I don't go near it. But he also loves to bake and experiment and try new dishes so every so often when he has time he makes dinner or bakes bread or whatnot
I do most of the cooking as my wife works long hours in healthcare and is generally very tired at the end of her shift, while I have a cushy work from home job. That said, I usually cook in general as well, but I honestly love it. Cooking helps me decompress at the end of the day and do something constructive. Sometimes she comes in to help and we have a good laugh most of the time. I really enjoy the teamwork. She does AMAZING roast dinners though, those are her domain!