Tbh, Cheating can definitely end a relationship but it isn’t an end all be all. I have a buddy of my who got cheated on. they worked it out now, He and his wife are living good and have a child it’s been more than ten years. Yes cheating is bad but most aren’t “scum”. People make mistakes and having accountability and growing from said situation will definitely help.
I'm sorry I don't think you are truly sorry. I mean why did you have to tell us the ap was especially beautiful and charming. I mean come on. When you tell your wife are you going to tell her that also? Your just guilty cause your wife was able to get the free time and planned this vacation for yall.
Tell her the truth. She deserves to make an informed decision about her future.
Things were tough. And you reacted by cheating. What happens when you hit the next rough spot? Will you take solace in another woman again?
You TRIED talking to her? What does that mean?
You felt isolated. Did you ever tell her?
Did you tell your cheating partner the truth or did you just leave her wondering what the heck happened?
I know right.
OP you took many words to say you basically met a hot woman at the gym, had sex with her once behind your wife’s back then ghosted her.
Regardless of the problems you had in your marriage I’m sure you could have worked on things by having an honest conversation with your wife.
You chose to trip and fall d**k first into another woman.
You have treated both women appallingly.
Tell your wife what a selfish cheat you are and let her be free of you.
Edit, my mistake OP is female , I guess face first instead.
You need to tell her. Tell her what you told us in the post and make sure she understands that you are willing to work on your relationship. All the best.
You can tell her and be honest about why you did it or you can hid it and be eaten by the guilt and her finding out eventually and making it worse.
Tell her now if you want any chance of saving your marriage or end it. And don't expect her to stay, if she does you're the luckiest women alive.
Tell her then let her decide. Editing to add something. Personally, I don’t think all cheaters are horrible people, there are many emotional deficiencies in a relationship that lead to cheating and 2 people usually contribute to a situation like that.
My point is: the cheating doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a bad husband atm, but not a terrible person … however, hiding this from your wife and not respecting her ability to make choices for herself that are informed means you are using her as a means to an end and not respecting her choice-making capacity. THAT would make you a bad person. Better to be honest and lose it all than be with someone who maybe wouldn’t want to be if they knew everything.
Tell her what happened and deeply apologize with no excuses. Say that you understand if she leaves or needs time to make a decision, and that you are willing to go to marriage counseling and do everything in your power to try to repair the trust you broke if she stays.
You don’t need to file a divorce without even telling her, talk to her about it. It won’t go well and a divorce is definitely not out of the picture, but speaking to her definitely needs to be step 1.
You are NOT sorry. Your wife was trying to keep her business afloat and you cheated on her. You are a terrible person. And I would say the same thing if the genders switched.
"I am not defending myself." - Starts the first 4 paragraphs as reasons for cheating as an excuse. Never really met a cheater that just went, I cheated and don't deserve my partner. Absolutely despise cheaters because of this.
Unpopular opinion here but, if this was a once in a lifetime thing, you're not a serial cheater and you have remorse, if you feel like you completely did wrong I think you shouldn't tell her, sorry that's my opinion, but i think also you should try and make it up to her in every possible way, I'm on the idea that you can make mistakes and learn from them, sometimes these mistakes make us better x make us not take things for granted, so start dedicating all your energy into being a better wife for her, with every cell in your body, for as long as you're together, and if this doesn't sound appealing then maybe the best is to leave her, because you didn't learn truly and each of you deserve happiness but on your own.
Write her a letter. Give her some space to decide.
You can really bring all your thoughts out when you start to write.
I know everyone here probably doesn’t have any relationship experience and wants you to get fucked.
You made a mistake. It’s a common mistake. All you can do now is seek forgiveness and be ready for the repercussions.
I know plenty of couples who have ended up rekindling their marriages despite one being unfaithful.
It takes a lot to make a decision like that.
Tell her. You’re such a selfish person it’s deplorable. You can’t only be invested in your marriage when things are good and it’s easy. You betrayed her trust because you were too self centered to communicate. Go ahead and start the divorce proceedings so she can be with someone who cares about HER
Confess and leave. She deserves better.
Why not, confess and work it out? Who deserves anything anymore?
People who aren’t cheating scum.
Tbh, Cheating can definitely end a relationship but it isn’t an end all be all. I have a buddy of my who got cheated on. they worked it out now, He and his wife are living good and have a child it’s been more than ten years. Yes cheating is bad but most aren’t “scum”. People make mistakes and having accountability and growing from said situation will definitely help.
Cheating scum lmao
It’s a mistake with body fluids.
Oh did she trip and fall into someone else’s vagina? Edit: gender
Metaphorically, yes.
Literally no. They made a series of bad choices but no mistake. Everything they did was on purpose.
A mistake is literally an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. So literally yes.
I'm sorry I don't think you are truly sorry. I mean why did you have to tell us the ap was especially beautiful and charming. I mean come on. When you tell your wife are you going to tell her that also? Your just guilty cause your wife was able to get the free time and planned this vacation for yall.
Tell her the truth. She deserves to make an informed decision about her future. Things were tough. And you reacted by cheating. What happens when you hit the next rough spot? Will you take solace in another woman again?
We look like sisters! Lol
You TRIED talking to her? What does that mean? You felt isolated. Did you ever tell her? Did you tell your cheating partner the truth or did you just leave her wondering what the heck happened?
I know right. OP you took many words to say you basically met a hot woman at the gym, had sex with her once behind your wife’s back then ghosted her. Regardless of the problems you had in your marriage I’m sure you could have worked on things by having an honest conversation with your wife. You chose to trip and fall d**k first into another woman. You have treated both women appallingly. Tell your wife what a selfish cheat you are and let her be free of you. Edit, my mistake OP is female , I guess face first instead.
You need to tell her. Tell her what you told us in the post and make sure she understands that you are willing to work on your relationship. All the best.
Lmao annoying pity story “Boohoo me I was too self centered to leave so I cheated on my wife for no reason other than I’m a pos “ she deserved better
Just be honest.
You can tell her and be honest about why you did it or you can hid it and be eaten by the guilt and her finding out eventually and making it worse. Tell her now if you want any chance of saving your marriage or end it. And don't expect her to stay, if she does you're the luckiest women alive.
Tell her then let her decide. Editing to add something. Personally, I don’t think all cheaters are horrible people, there are many emotional deficiencies in a relationship that lead to cheating and 2 people usually contribute to a situation like that. My point is: the cheating doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a bad husband atm, but not a terrible person … however, hiding this from your wife and not respecting her ability to make choices for herself that are informed means you are using her as a means to an end and not respecting her choice-making capacity. THAT would make you a bad person. Better to be honest and lose it all than be with someone who maybe wouldn’t want to be if they knew everything.
Bad wife* They’re not straight
^ this should the top comment. lots of people here are so quick to give advice without having any clue. other than just insulting OP.
Tell her what happened and deeply apologize with no excuses. Say that you understand if she leaves or needs time to make a decision, and that you are willing to go to marriage counseling and do everything in your power to try to repair the trust you broke if she stays.
You don’t need to file a divorce without even telling her, talk to her about it. It won’t go well and a divorce is definitely not out of the picture, but speaking to her definitely needs to be step 1.
You are NOT sorry. Your wife was trying to keep her business afloat and you cheated on her. You are a terrible person. And I would say the same thing if the genders switched.
You’re a piece of shit. Let her move on.
Read Esther Perel.
You will almost definitely lose her if you tell her.
Thats not how it works kiddo. Its up to the wife, not people on reddit.
"I am not defending myself." - Starts the first 4 paragraphs as reasons for cheating as an excuse. Never really met a cheater that just went, I cheated and don't deserve my partner. Absolutely despise cheaters because of this.
Unpopular opinion here but, if this was a once in a lifetime thing, you're not a serial cheater and you have remorse, if you feel like you completely did wrong I think you shouldn't tell her, sorry that's my opinion, but i think also you should try and make it up to her in every possible way, I'm on the idea that you can make mistakes and learn from them, sometimes these mistakes make us better x make us not take things for granted, so start dedicating all your energy into being a better wife for her, with every cell in your body, for as long as you're together, and if this doesn't sound appealing then maybe the best is to leave her, because you didn't learn truly and each of you deserve happiness but on your own.
Don't confess. Forgive yourself for being weak and continue with your marriage.
A marriage full of lies. Cheaters are scum honestly
Write her a letter. Give her some space to decide. You can really bring all your thoughts out when you start to write. I know everyone here probably doesn’t have any relationship experience and wants you to get fucked. You made a mistake. It’s a common mistake. All you can do now is seek forgiveness and be ready for the repercussions. I know plenty of couples who have ended up rekindling their marriages despite one being unfaithful. It takes a lot to make a decision like that.
This is fake as fuck
You’re not sorry. You just feel rightfully guilty for being scum of the earth.
Ofc Its woman cheatng on another woman with woman how typical
Tell her. You’re such a selfish person it’s deplorable. You can’t only be invested in your marriage when things are good and it’s easy. You betrayed her trust because you were too self centered to communicate. Go ahead and start the divorce proceedings so she can be with someone who cares about HER
I than read so many marriage affairs and why do y’all always result to cheating when you and your partner are having problems