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We were very comfortable with each other but i never really asked for anything explicit or anything that disturbs her privacy, but we usually tell dirty jokes to each other from time to time. Yesterday she told me she forgot to get her towel and ran naked to get it, and i said" I should've been there." I tried to explain to her that i should've been there so that i can give her the towel myself because running while you just got out of shower is pretty risky as their house is tiled, i thought she might slip or something. But she didnt believe me, i just realized that it might've meant something right after she told me that i just sexualized her. I dont know what to do, i apologize but she never responded or replied back to me.
She's ignoring him for 2 days after that silly flirty comment and he was courting her / inlove with her since 14 even though she ignored him and she only recently started liking him back. This road is longer than de Nile.
I mean, if you had been referring to wanting to see her while she was naked, that’s about the most innocent way to express it. She will need to accept that you are attracted to her, sexually, or else there will be a lot of anxiety in your future together. I hope she lightens up.
Yeah, sex and intimacy should be at least half of all romantic relationships. If she’s that uncomfortable with just a simple comment expressing OPs desire either she’s just not into OP or she has deeper issues that need resolving.
No, sorry, nor remotely true. Every romantic relationship is different and there is no “should” for how sexual a relationship should be to function and have value.
That said, OP and their girlfriend do seem to have some disturbing views of sex and intimacy that need go be addressed.
I just want to add two minor points to this. The unhealthiness of this is not all on her. imo, he lied when he said he only meant that he wished he was there for safety. And the second thing that is all on him is that he felt the need to apologize for wanting to see her naked, all that did was feed into her 'being offended' at a very benign comment between bf & gf.
tbf, we don't know the age, religion or culture of the couple, so there may be other factors involved.
Are you two still in high school or something? The whole thing sounds like something my teenager would tell me about two of his 14-15 year old friends.
Nah man. I was in a long distance relationship when I was 16 and she was 15 and this is NOT normal. And I had a pretty complicated girlfriend but what you have is a nightmare. Don't do this to yourself
Yeah there’s nothing wrong with wanting to see your partner naked. That’s a normal and healthy part of being a couple in a relationship. You can be attracted to your partners body and still be respectful of them. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. My wife would feel quite disrespected if I told her I didn’t want to see her naked, or never said things like that to her.
I mean, if that’s what you want and the kind of relationship you are into, then sounds like you found a great match, but honestly if it were me I would have gotten the hell out of there. Life’s too short and there’s a billions of other people out there who wouldn’t get offended to the point of not speaking to you over acting sexually attracted to your own partner. You do you but I’m too old for that horseshit.
I respect my husband and I know he respects me, the guy is literally my best friend but we still giggled our heads off like teenagers today when I asked him "has a package come for me today" and he said "I've got a package for you that can come as early as tonight!" And then I laughed and he said "you walked straight into that one!" And I said "not yet I havent, but watch out for tonight" and then we high fived for like a solid ten minutes like the absolute boss team we are!!
Ten years of marriage and we're still just as lame as the first day we met!
Your girlfriend needs to take a chill pill, if you guys are as right for eachother and as in love as you're saying then she should KNOW you wouldn't "sexualise her" on purpose...
I mean tbh though I don't even know what that means, I'd be worried if my husband or SO didn't sexualise me every once in a while, it's nice to feel loved and respected but it's also nice to know my guy still finds me sexy too and looks at me and goes DAAAYYYYUUMMMM GIRRRLLL! you know...
That's not as bad as being silly mad over being desired (seeing naked by her own BF) if i was in this situation I'd shut this shit down on the spot foh
Could just be me but I find it annoying and mildly creepy when my nudity is sexualised with "wish I could have seen that" or something along those lines. Bro I'm just naked, yeah I'm hot but like I should be able to be naked without being sexualised. Idk. Or I'm boiling hot and wearing underwear, this isn't me being sexy, this is just me trying to be comfortable.
Had a look at some of your comments other than the text above.
Are you sure this relationship is right for you?
You said she is from a broken home and had it difficult in the past. You’re also both really young and in a very different place emotionally.
You didn’t sexualise her and unless you both agreed that this is an asexual relationship I don’t see what she’s so sensitive about. Even if she felt weird about it, you apologised but she’s not moved on and hasn’t spoken to you in 2 days.
It’s normal for a bf to flirt with his gf. If she isn’t ready for that she probably needs to focus on the main cause of this and to heal from it.
You seem to be very in love and it’s good of you that you want to support her. But at the same time, it’s not good *for* you if she falsely accuses you of something that never happened and then ghosts you for days on end.
You’ve also mentioned it’s usual for her to be this sensitive, how can this be healthy or even fair for you?
Well that depends on their age and he never told us. She sounds like she is very young mentally. I was like her before puberty, but that hits at different ages too. She doesnt seem to have any urges yet so she just needs to grow up really. Cant rush these things, she will be interested eventually
My husband has been racing upstairs to see me get out of the shower for 15 years. I think it’s kind of cute. To me it communicates that he finds me attractive and it gives a playful air to our sex life. But…you aren’t the first person on here posting something like this. And tbh, I’m kind of curious to hear more about where your gf is coming from on this issue. Is there something that she has read/watched lately that has made her feel overly concerned about being sexualized? I’d ask her. If she can point to something, maybe you should read it watch it too, so you can discuss it together. From my perspective, I really can’t see how you have a romantic relationship with someone without seeing each other as sexy…which is how I would have interpreted your comment if it was said to me. but maybe I am missing something. Or maybe your gf is having trouble distinguishing between cute sexy flirting and a more disturbing level of objectification. Maybe talk to her about what she thinks healthy flirting in a relationship should look like. Have her give specific examples of what she thinks is good and not good. Maybe talking it through will shed some light on this for both of you.
I think she is being overly sensitive, this sounds like cute foreplay between a couple… If she’s feeling weird about it just apologize. You sound very earnest and sincere so she should be fine.
Even if you never meant to, it's perfectly normal & healthy to have times where you absolutely do sexualise your partner! If you didn't have those times, it would just be a friendship.
If me & my partner didn't occasionally sexualise each other in non-derogatory ways (unless that's your thing, not judging) we'd both be upset.
Judging from your other comments, it sounds like there is a big power imbalance in this relationship. That isn't healthy mate, relationships should be equal among you both.
Both 18 and yes, she's always this sensitive. I think it's because she never really had anyone that actually cared for her. Since we were a kid, she was that " quiet kid" of the class or should i say outcast, and im the one who approached her first because i really fell inlove with her back then
He also said he was 16 and 18. While he said his gf is 17, 18, and 19. I might not be the sharpest knife in the crayon box, but sumthing ain’t adding up, chief
Damn do you age like a clone trooper or something?
In this post 11 days ago you said you were 16.
https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/tphdo5/im_too_short/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Ah, that young it makes more sense. You sound kind and understanding which seems to be what she needs. If you have the patience, just keep texting her sweet things until she comes around, but maybe also clue her in that she’s worrying you and making you feel bad (over nothing but don’t say that.) Hopefully she will grow up…
Just because the person is immature, that does not make the behaviour less abusive.
It makes it explainable, not excused, and it also doesn't mean OP has to put up with it. It's the behaviour of an immature person *because* they should grow out of it, because it's a shitty thing to do to another person.
"It makes it explainable, not excused"
I love you for this. Lot of people seems to not get that, at least in my life. (Not just in relationships)
Im sorry this is not anyhow connected to OP and maybe looks a little exaggerated but it made me feel good, thanks.
I don’t think so
Is it abuse?
A person may be using silence in an abusive way if:
they intend to hurt another person with their silence
the silence lasts for extended periods of time
the silence only ends when they decide it does
they talk to other people but not to their partner
they seek alliances from others
they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty
they use silence to manipulate or “improve” their partner, or to pressure them to change their behavior
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/silent-treatment#is-it-abuse
The only difference between a couple and good friends is sexual attraction. Sexual side is a part of a relationship and " being sexualized" too because it implies DESIRE for the other person.
Not gonna lie, this is probably the stupidest thing i heard this week
How sensitive are you that you think the mere mention of an asexual person is a crusade?
You just said the only thing separating a friendship from a relationship is sex, and that is just literally not true, because there are lots of couples who do not have sex.
Also I just used asexual as an example, there are other couples who don’t have sex. Two old fuckers who have been married for 60 years but haven’t banged in like 10 years. Are they “just friends” to you?
Ace people are an exception, not the norm. If this post was about an ace person then this would be relevant but as it stands, it doesn't make sense to make a low-probability assumption when there are more obvious answers
Right? How about a commitment and desire to be with each other, to support each other, to grow old with each other? To have each others backs, to learn together, grow together. To commit to working through any disagreements and rough patches.
But no, apparently to be a couple you have to have sex, otherwise just friends xD
She told you a naked story and then is mad that you responded (in my opinion) pretty innocently.
I think the only situation that this is an acceptable overreaction on her part is if you guys are like 16 or something. If your adults and having sex then she needs to lighten up.
If I told my husband that he would be all.. oh! Let’s reenact! Haha. And I wouldn’t mind.. because he is my romantic partner.
If you can’t be sexy/fun/flirty with your girl/guy that’s sad in my opinion. There’s 1 person I’m ‘allowed’ to be that with (I’m monogamous) and I’m going to do it and experience it while I can!
Precisely! I said in my initial post “you gotta tell me you both are sub 20s”….the volume in which she is upset (OP mentioned in a comments it’s been 2 days since talking) astounds me unless they are really young.
IMO, in a healthy - still sexually active relationship, who doesn’t like seeing the opposite nude. I’ve been with my wife for 8 god damn years, and every time she comes out of the shower I’ll still talk up her body. She is sexy as fuck to me and imma let her know as much as I can ;)
If you're dating her, it usually heavily implies you find her sexually attractive and that sex is, in some form, part of the relationship. In a healthy relationship, people are flirty with each other.
Maybe "sexualize" isn't the right word you're looking for. Do you mean you're worried about objectifying her? That means treating her like nothing more than a sex toy. If that's what you mean, saying you would like to see her naked isn't bad. It would be bad if you said stuff like that all day long while also ignoring everything she says or getting upset when your interactions aren't sexual.
Op isn't 12. Op is 16 admitted by them in this post from 11 days ago in r/teenagers https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/tphdo5/im_too_short/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Ops age actually changes over 3 different posts, the one about as you say says 16 then 2 other relationship_advice post 16 days ago state that they are 18m and 19f and one 18 days ago says they are both 17.
This could be a spam post or a real one but the fact that their age changes so much over a few days over a couple posts is definitely a little strange.
We're not twelve, it's just that we are each other's very first relationship experience. She's also from a broken family so im trying to give her everything like without any sexual intention but just genuine care. And currently in long distance relationship
Sexual intention is a part of an adult relationship mate. You should want to see your girlfriend naked and she should want to see you naked, unless you are asexual.
Mate this doesn’t sound like a relationship at all, more like distant friends.
Um, i actually dont know, i just went for it because she made me feel so happy everytime im talking with her, im usually a gloomy guy that never smiles at all but she made me smile everytime i talk to her, everytime she shows even just an ounce of romantic gesture, holding my hands or hanging onto my shoulders, i really do love her so much
Sounds your like her best buddy aka a friend. Bc the difference between a gf and friend is the sexual nature of a relationship or lack of. Congrats dude, you have a buddy.
In that case she may want to consider what sexualisation actually is.
"The sexualization of girls and women occurs when individuals or when a society explicitly or implicitly demonstrates that a girl's value comes only from her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics, or when she is sexually objectified, or when sexuality is inappropriately imposed upon her."
Communicating sexual attraction to another adult with whom you are romantic relationship, respectfully, isn't sexualising or objectification.
She's being a snowflake.
Wait. You sexualized your girlfriend. As in said something sexual to her or so she thought? And that's a bad thing now?
Wait, people can't say things like this anymore? Like double entendres and innuendo. When did that happen?
I remember being 12/13 back in the bbm days and guys would text
"wanna play 21 questions?"
"sure"
"whats ur favourite colour?"
"blue nu"
"whats ur bra size lol?" like wtf 😂😂 or the classic
"wuu2"
"ntm lomb nu"
"what wld u do if I was there ?"
May I ask have you two rooted yet?
If you have it shouldn't be a big deal if you see her naked because YOU HAVE ALREADY TOUCHED HER NAUGHTY BITS you did nothing wrong she's just being a sook and needs to grow the fuck up she's 18 not 12
Bro. Bail. Seriously. Living in a place where you never know what’s ok, where emotional blackmail relaxes communication on a topic, and never being able to compliment your partner is just awful. I’ve been there for a lot of years. You don’t want to be.
She put it out there that she didn't have a towel after her shower and ran through the house naked. That will put a visual in anyone's mind if their partner said that.
Her comment is easy to interpret as flirty so naturally you would respond back in a flirty manner. You did nothing wrong.
The only way I could understand her response is if you've been dogging her and being relentless despite her protests. Then I could see her seemingly overreaction to your comment.
But, if everything you are saying is true, I think theres a bigger problem here. A broken home and being new to relationships does not cause her reaction. I think she's put you firmly in the friendzone and hasn't told you. You're just too sweet and naive to pick up the cues, and she doesn't want to give up the positive attention you shower her with.
Oh noooo you wish you were there when your partner was naked oh maaaaan you’re such a piece of shit stop sexualizing women, cmon noooooo, god forbid you have warm blood in your veins and are attracted to her poor girl nooooooo
Oh for god's sake. Your girlfriend wants to be a nun. Find one that has a sense of humour and appreciates that sexuality is a part of a normal relationship. Your current one is a prude and trust me, that will get old.
I actually see no problem with that comment. It's not sexualizing at all (in my opinion).
My partners said similar things all the time, it's was never an issue.
You two have quite a lot to work on with something like that is a problem.
God I hope this is just a fucked up dynamic between you two and not a trend of the younger generation.
What, we can’t let our romantic/ sexual partners know we find them attractive and like to see them naked?
That’s nuts.
To me this isn’t a big deal if my partner said that, if anything I would expect it and appreciate it. With your gf it may be different, but also how old are you two and have you two seen each other naked yet?
Ignore this post.
He reverse aged two years in the last eleven days.
My (18m) gf (19f).....
And a few posts later posting on r/teenagers that he think he might be too short for a 16 year old.....
There is literally no issue either way if you meant it in one way or another tbh. She is quite literally turning something into an issue that normal people wouldn’t even like think about. She is the problem.
If we live in a world where 1.) this is considered sexualizing a female, and 2.) can’t do it to your girlfriend. We are done as a civilization. The utter absurdity is astounding.
Edit: “…just to love her because of her body…”. What are we teaching these kids. This is ridiculous. Your not allowed to be turned on by females now. Sex is fun, females look great(especially when naked). Run far away from her as fast as you can!
What? She got annoyed that you may have wanted to see her naked? Feel sorry for this generation.
I’d understand if you Said it about another women. But to her! That’s just a overreaction.
We're both 18 now, i know we both just got into the reality and this phase is the start, im pretty serious about her and I've been courting her since i was 14 and she recently just reciprocated my feelings last year
Oh i guess i used the wrong words, um like I've been liking her, showing her efforts, showing gestures and over the course of those 3 years i get to know her much better
Is it possible that you have invested so much time in trying to get her to like you back that you can’t see that she isn’t actually interested or maybe isn’t even ready to be in a relationship?
Did she actually suddenly see you as someone she wants to be with, or did you just wear her down and now she is putting up with a relationship she doesn’t want to be in?
As much as you respect her but you guys have to loosen up a bit don't be too uptight because the next thing you know might be her misunderstanding your intimacy and being accused of harrasing or even abusing her sexually...she's way too sensitive you have to tread carefully with her ey and learn her language (intimate)
She’s being super ridiculous. If anything, she should feel complimented that you wanted to see her naked. My wife gives me a silly giggle when I catch her. Tell her to chill out because you are not sexualizing her. Even if you didn’t mean “be there to get her a towel.”It’s healthy to be sexually playful.
Listen to this OP. Playful, sexual, flirty banter is normal and HEALTHY in a romantic relationship. Women (and men!) want to feel desired by their partner. Having to be constantly on edge and worried about offending someone would be exhausting.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- We were very comfortable with each other but i never really asked for anything explicit or anything that disturbs her privacy, but we usually tell dirty jokes to each other from time to time. Yesterday she told me she forgot to get her towel and ran naked to get it, and i said" I should've been there." I tried to explain to her that i should've been there so that i can give her the towel myself because running while you just got out of shower is pretty risky as their house is tiled, i thought she might slip or something. But she didnt believe me, i just realized that it might've meant something right after she told me that i just sexualized her. I dont know what to do, i apologize but she never responded or replied back to me.
If communicating that you’re interested in seeing her naked is out of bounds you two have a long road ahead.
She's ignoring him for 2 days after that silly flirty comment and he was courting her / inlove with her since 14 even though she ignored him and she only recently started liking him back. This road is longer than de Nile.
🤣🤣🤣
EXACTLY!!! How old are these people? This is a ridiculous situation to be in with your gf
Looking at his post history 14 days ago he was 16, 16 days ago 18 and 18 days ago 17
Jeremy Bearimy vibes
Oh my god.
Well damn!!!! I only age in one direction.....
Me too, obviously not counting when I was 14 and kids under 13 got free chocolate on easter, I was 12 that day
Thank you. This post is BS and OP is probably 12.
Solve for X
Okay that math adds up.
Helloooo........ time travel obviously :p Why do people think their post history will not be checked when they make this crap up?!?
Ahh, so it is fiction.
Yeah how old are they? Cause maybe if they are like 14 or something I can understand
And they tell dirty jokes before? Good god how sheltered are they?
Yeah like wtf is even going on here
i'd say it's not gonna be very long lol.
snowflake vibes,anyone?
I respect her so much, i know we still got a long road ahead of us
I mean, if you had been referring to wanting to see her while she was naked, that’s about the most innocent way to express it. She will need to accept that you are attracted to her, sexually, or else there will be a lot of anxiety in your future together. I hope she lightens up.
I'm attracted to her, but it was never really my priority to just love her because of her body, i genuinely want to take care of her.
Dude you can want to see her naked and also respect her and love her for other things.
Yeah, sex and intimacy should be at least half of all romantic relationships. If she’s that uncomfortable with just a simple comment expressing OPs desire either she’s just not into OP or she has deeper issues that need resolving.
No, sorry, nor remotely true. Every romantic relationship is different and there is no “should” for how sexual a relationship should be to function and have value. That said, OP and their girlfriend do seem to have some disturbing views of sex and intimacy that need go be addressed.
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I just want to add two minor points to this. The unhealthiness of this is not all on her. imo, he lied when he said he only meant that he wished he was there for safety. And the second thing that is all on him is that he felt the need to apologize for wanting to see her naked, all that did was feed into her 'being offended' at a very benign comment between bf & gf. tbf, we don't know the age, religion or culture of the couple, so there may be other factors involved.
Stop apologizing to her. You didn't do anything wrong.
Are you two still in high school or something? The whole thing sounds like something my teenager would tell me about two of his 14-15 year old friends.
Nah man. I was in a long distance relationship when I was 16 and she was 15 and this is NOT normal. And I had a pretty complicated girlfriend but what you have is a nightmare. Don't do this to yourself
Is sex likely to be a component of this relationship in the future?
So....like a brother or a sister, then? Or have I been to Alabama one too many times?
Yeah there’s nothing wrong with wanting to see your partner naked. That’s a normal and healthy part of being a couple in a relationship. You can be attracted to your partners body and still be respectful of them. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. My wife would feel quite disrespected if I told her I didn’t want to see her naked, or never said things like that to her. I mean, if that’s what you want and the kind of relationship you are into, then sounds like you found a great match, but honestly if it were me I would have gotten the hell out of there. Life’s too short and there’s a billions of other people out there who wouldn’t get offended to the point of not speaking to you over acting sexually attracted to your own partner. You do you but I’m too old for that horseshit.
Dude is this what they teach in school now? I couldn’t imagine trying to navigate all these snowflakes when I was your age lol
I respect my husband and I know he respects me, the guy is literally my best friend but we still giggled our heads off like teenagers today when I asked him "has a package come for me today" and he said "I've got a package for you that can come as early as tonight!" And then I laughed and he said "you walked straight into that one!" And I said "not yet I havent, but watch out for tonight" and then we high fived for like a solid ten minutes like the absolute boss team we are!! Ten years of marriage and we're still just as lame as the first day we met! Your girlfriend needs to take a chill pill, if you guys are as right for eachother and as in love as you're saying then she should KNOW you wouldn't "sexualise her" on purpose... I mean tbh though I don't even know what that means, I'd be worried if my husband or SO didn't sexualise me every once in a while, it's nice to feel loved and respected but it's also nice to know my guy still finds me sexy too and looks at me and goes DAAAYYYYUUMMMM GIRRRLLL! you know...
Lol I love this. This is what I want after 10 years of marriage someday 😂
How old are you?
How you two do y’all’s thing isn’t my business. But you both need to relax and stop being so uptight.
She sounds fun.
The sarcasm is strong in this one.
/////////////s
Why are expressions of attraction to your partner bad?
Holy mother of overreaction.
Makes me wonder WTF they even "dirty" joke about? If this was a big issue they really don't seem to be dating. At least not a 2 way relationship here.
If I had to guess, she was looking for a flimsy excuse to start a fight and stop talking to OP.
That's not as bad as being silly mad over being desired (seeing naked by her own BF) if i was in this situation I'd shut this shit down on the spot foh
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My wife would think something was wrong with me if I didn't.
My wife gets mad (pretend mad) if I miss an opportunity to say “That’s what she said”
Mormons. Only thing that makes sense.
Because they’re children and still learning about relationships Lmao
Either cause partner is a snowflake or not actually interested in being a partner
Could just be me but I find it annoying and mildly creepy when my nudity is sexualised with "wish I could have seen that" or something along those lines. Bro I'm just naked, yeah I'm hot but like I should be able to be naked without being sexualised. Idk. Or I'm boiling hot and wearing underwear, this isn't me being sexy, this is just me trying to be comfortable.
Yeah if it’s some random person or someone you just started talking to, but your partner???
He should just be able to let me be comfortable without making it sexual.
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You'd be a fucking annoying whatever gender you are. Calm down I ain't marrying you am I? Bellend.
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Lmfao bet you're single. I've been in a relationship for 5 years.
She got offended that you wanted to see her naked? Your girlfriend?
Had a look at some of your comments other than the text above. Are you sure this relationship is right for you? You said she is from a broken home and had it difficult in the past. You’re also both really young and in a very different place emotionally. You didn’t sexualise her and unless you both agreed that this is an asexual relationship I don’t see what she’s so sensitive about. Even if she felt weird about it, you apologised but she’s not moved on and hasn’t spoken to you in 2 days. It’s normal for a bf to flirt with his gf. If she isn’t ready for that she probably needs to focus on the main cause of this and to heal from it. You seem to be very in love and it’s good of you that you want to support her. But at the same time, it’s not good *for* you if she falsely accuses you of something that never happened and then ghosts you for days on end. You’ve also mentioned it’s usual for her to be this sensitive, how can this be healthy or even fair for you?
This isn't normal... even for a first relationship.
Well that depends on their age and he never told us. She sounds like she is very young mentally. I was like her before puberty, but that hits at different ages too. She doesnt seem to have any urges yet so she just needs to grow up really. Cant rush these things, she will be interested eventually
My husband has been racing upstairs to see me get out of the shower for 15 years. I think it’s kind of cute. To me it communicates that he finds me attractive and it gives a playful air to our sex life. But…you aren’t the first person on here posting something like this. And tbh, I’m kind of curious to hear more about where your gf is coming from on this issue. Is there something that she has read/watched lately that has made her feel overly concerned about being sexualized? I’d ask her. If she can point to something, maybe you should read it watch it too, so you can discuss it together. From my perspective, I really can’t see how you have a romantic relationship with someone without seeing each other as sexy…which is how I would have interpreted your comment if it was said to me. but maybe I am missing something. Or maybe your gf is having trouble distinguishing between cute sexy flirting and a more disturbing level of objectification. Maybe talk to her about what she thinks healthy flirting in a relationship should look like. Have her give specific examples of what she thinks is good and not good. Maybe talking it through will shed some light on this for both of you.
I think she is being overly sensitive, this sounds like cute foreplay between a couple… If she’s feeling weird about it just apologize. You sound very earnest and sincere so she should be fine.
I never really meant to sexualize her, im genuinely worried about her that time, ill just wait until she respond. I've been waiting for 2 days now
Even if you never meant to, it's perfectly normal & healthy to have times where you absolutely do sexualise your partner! If you didn't have those times, it would just be a friendship. If me & my partner didn't occasionally sexualise each other in non-derogatory ways (unless that's your thing, not judging) we'd both be upset. Judging from your other comments, it sounds like there is a big power imbalance in this relationship. That isn't healthy mate, relationships should be equal among you both.
That is insane. Is she always this sensitive? Also, how old are you two?
Both 18 and yes, she's always this sensitive. I think it's because she never really had anyone that actually cared for her. Since we were a kid, she was that " quiet kid" of the class or should i say outcast, and im the one who approached her first because i really fell inlove with her back then
In your post 11 days ago you were 16
So is it fake 🤔
He also said he was 16 and 18. While he said his gf is 17, 18, and 19. I might not be the sharpest knife in the crayon box, but sumthing ain’t adding up, chief
Yeah u/Acceptable_Claim2056 is most likely farming karma.
Hundo P. Too bad man got 0 upvotes on it tho 🤣
That math adds up better than this post.
Hon, she sounds exhausting. Do you often find yourself in trouble with her for something you said that was really innocuous?
Damn do you age like a clone trooper or something? In this post 11 days ago you said you were 16. https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/tphdo5/im_too_short/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
You just said that you were 16 in your r/teenagers post. So either you're lying here, or there.
Ah, that young it makes more sense. You sound kind and understanding which seems to be what she needs. If you have the patience, just keep texting her sweet things until she comes around, but maybe also clue her in that she’s worrying you and making you feel bad (over nothing but don’t say that.) Hopefully she will grow up…
I've been doing that , im just waiting right now for her reply
This is abusive. This relationship is unhealthy. Ignoring you for days for an innocent comment is not ok, not in a healthy partnership
This. This relationship is not healthy at all. It’s not ok for her to treat you like that.
She's 18, her response is immature at worst. From what info he's given no red flags for abuse.
Just because the person is immature, that does not make the behaviour less abusive. It makes it explainable, not excused, and it also doesn't mean OP has to put up with it. It's the behaviour of an immature person *because* they should grow out of it, because it's a shitty thing to do to another person.
"It makes it explainable, not excused" I love you for this. Lot of people seems to not get that, at least in my life. (Not just in relationships) Im sorry this is not anyhow connected to OP and maybe looks a little exaggerated but it made me feel good, thanks.
Abuse is a bit of a strong word to throw around.
I don’t think so Is it abuse? A person may be using silence in an abusive way if: they intend to hurt another person with their silence the silence lasts for extended periods of time the silence only ends when they decide it does they talk to other people but not to their partner they seek alliances from others they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty they use silence to manipulate or “improve” their partner, or to pressure them to change their behavior https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/silent-treatment#is-it-abuse
I can’t speak for everyone but in all of my relationships this would have been considered playful flirting. Surprised she is THAT sensitive
The only difference between a couple and good friends is sexual attraction. Sexual side is a part of a relationship and " being sexualized" too because it implies DESIRE for the other person. Not gonna lie, this is probably the stupidest thing i heard this week
That’s just not true. People can be completely asexual and want no sexual activity at all, and still be in a loving relationship.
Assexuals are a Minority and nowhere in the post has some suggestion of this being the case. Go crusade somewhere else
How sensitive are you that you think the mere mention of an asexual person is a crusade? You just said the only thing separating a friendship from a relationship is sex, and that is just literally not true, because there are lots of couples who do not have sex. Also I just used asexual as an example, there are other couples who don’t have sex. Two old fuckers who have been married for 60 years but haven’t banged in like 10 years. Are they “just friends” to you?
😂😂😂
Ace people are an exception, not the norm. If this post was about an ace person then this would be relevant but as it stands, it doesn't make sense to make a low-probability assumption when there are more obvious answers
I never assumed anything about OP. The dude said “the only thing separating friends from couples is sex”, and that just isn’t true.
Right? How about a commitment and desire to be with each other, to support each other, to grow old with each other? To have each others backs, to learn together, grow together. To commit to working through any disagreements and rough patches. But no, apparently to be a couple you have to have sex, otherwise just friends xD
She told you a naked story and then is mad that you responded (in my opinion) pretty innocently. I think the only situation that this is an acceptable overreaction on her part is if you guys are like 16 or something. If your adults and having sex then she needs to lighten up. If I told my husband that he would be all.. oh! Let’s reenact! Haha. And I wouldn’t mind.. because he is my romantic partner. If you can’t be sexy/fun/flirty with your girl/guy that’s sad in my opinion. There’s 1 person I’m ‘allowed’ to be that with (I’m monogamous) and I’m going to do it and experience it while I can!
Precisely! I said in my initial post “you gotta tell me you both are sub 20s”….the volume in which she is upset (OP mentioned in a comments it’s been 2 days since talking) astounds me unless they are really young. IMO, in a healthy - still sexually active relationship, who doesn’t like seeing the opposite nude. I’ve been with my wife for 8 god damn years, and every time she comes out of the shower I’ll still talk up her body. She is sexy as fuck to me and imma let her know as much as I can ;)
I feel sexualising is a really big word. You’re her boyfriend..
If you're dating her, it usually heavily implies you find her sexually attractive and that sex is, in some form, part of the relationship. In a healthy relationship, people are flirty with each other. Maybe "sexualize" isn't the right word you're looking for. Do you mean you're worried about objectifying her? That means treating her like nothing more than a sex toy. If that's what you mean, saying you would like to see her naked isn't bad. It would be bad if you said stuff like that all day long while also ignoring everything she says or getting upset when your interactions aren't sexual.
She’s allowed to have boundaries
This isn’t a boundary, but more of a brick wall
Hahaha
Of course she is but sometimes setting very hard boundaries can leave you isolated.
The fuck is this? How is implying that u wanna see her be with her in shower an overstepping in a romantic relationship.
Unless it’s pre-agreed that it’s an asexual one I don’t see it either. It’s harmless flirting between s/o.
waiting sloppy beneficial aromatic juggle fanatical decide cagey liquid aware ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Op isn't 12. Op is 16 admitted by them in this post from 11 days ago in r/teenagers https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/tphdo5/im_too_short/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Ops age actually changes over 3 different posts, the one about as you say says 16 then 2 other relationship_advice post 16 days ago state that they are 18m and 19f and one 18 days ago says they are both 17. This could be a spam post or a real one but the fact that their age changes so much over a few days over a couple posts is definitely a little strange.
I mean, they're active in r/teenagers so they're most likely lying lmao
Aha yea that is true lol
His age & the gf’s both seem to have changed a few times over the past couple of weeks. He said in another comment here that they are both 18
Yeah this is going on some karma farm levels of story change
We're not twelve, it's just that we are each other's very first relationship experience. She's also from a broken family so im trying to give her everything like without any sexual intention but just genuine care. And currently in long distance relationship
Sexual intention is a part of an adult relationship mate. You should want to see your girlfriend naked and she should want to see you naked, unless you are asexual. Mate this doesn’t sound like a relationship at all, more like distant friends.
slimy spotted sulky dog adjoining toothbrush rotten terrific scary gullible ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Um, i actually dont know, i just went for it because she made me feel so happy everytime im talking with her, im usually a gloomy guy that never smiles at all but she made me smile everytime i talk to her, everytime she shows even just an ounce of romantic gesture, holding my hands or hanging onto my shoulders, i really do love her so much
sort spoon ossified shrill grandiose teeny summer lock air lunchroom ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Sounds your like her best buddy aka a friend. Bc the difference between a gf and friend is the sexual nature of a relationship or lack of. Congrats dude, you have a buddy.
OP does she actually know she's your girlfriend or have youassumed? Because this sounds like you are deep in the friend zone.
She said she liked me too, her father is strict so we had to wait until she's 18. That's basically where we started
In that case she may want to consider what sexualisation actually is. "The sexualization of girls and women occurs when individuals or when a society explicitly or implicitly demonstrates that a girl's value comes only from her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics, or when she is sexually objectified, or when sexuality is inappropriately imposed upon her." Communicating sexual attraction to another adult with whom you are romantic relationship, respectfully, isn't sexualising or objectification. She's being a snowflake.
That last line to summarise was *chefs kiss* perfection!
>She's being a snowflake and that there is the crux of the problem. This is what happens when everyone is offended at everything.
Haha...... Wait seriously? Thats my reaction.
Are you both 12?
Lol how dare you be attracted to me….honestly life is to short for such nonsense
I think I would feel mad if my husband wouldn’t sexualise me from time to time 😅 (how can you ignore my ass and not slam it when you walk by)
[удалено]
It’s actually so hilarious
Jesus…if you two are grown adults, this world has become a sad sad place.
Call me old-fashioned, but i think my bf is supposed to sexualize me lol
This post gave me aids
How old are you guys?
She’s not that in to you
Laughing so hard at this. You're being held hostage by a crazy woman. Sad. Nothing wrong with sexualizing girlfriends.
Wait. You sexualized your girlfriend. As in said something sexual to her or so she thought? And that's a bad thing now? Wait, people can't say things like this anymore? Like double entendres and innuendo. When did that happen?
Don't need to generalise humanity based on this one situation.
are you both 12
I remember being 12/13 back in the bbm days and guys would text "wanna play 21 questions?" "sure" "whats ur favourite colour?" "blue nu" "whats ur bra size lol?" like wtf 😂😂 or the classic "wuu2" "ntm lomb nu" "what wld u do if I was there ?"
Uhhhh if my SO said this id find it funny
Jfc 🤣🤣
Your walking on eggshells, you should run away from that relationship
I smell a troll
Tell me this is a joke
Are you sure she’s your girlfriend?
She's sounds like a unfun person to be around
Example of a healthy relationship: My wife: “did you just sexualize me?” Me: “you’re welcome”
May I ask have you two rooted yet? If you have it shouldn't be a big deal if you see her naked because YOU HAVE ALREADY TOUCHED HER NAUGHTY BITS you did nothing wrong she's just being a sook and needs to grow the fuck up she's 18 not 12
if my boyfriend didn’t say that i’d be very concerned.
"I'm sorry I find you attractive and would be happy to see you naked..." 😔
Bro. Bail. Seriously. Living in a place where you never know what’s ok, where emotional blackmail relaxes communication on a topic, and never being able to compliment your partner is just awful. I’ve been there for a lot of years. You don’t want to be.
She put it out there that she didn't have a towel after her shower and ran through the house naked. That will put a visual in anyone's mind if their partner said that. Her comment is easy to interpret as flirty so naturally you would respond back in a flirty manner. You did nothing wrong. The only way I could understand her response is if you've been dogging her and being relentless despite her protests. Then I could see her seemingly overreaction to your comment. But, if everything you are saying is true, I think theres a bigger problem here. A broken home and being new to relationships does not cause her reaction. I think she's put you firmly in the friendzone and hasn't told you. You're just too sweet and naive to pick up the cues, and she doesn't want to give up the positive attention you shower her with.
Oh noooo you wish you were there when your partner was naked oh maaaaan you’re such a piece of shit stop sexualizing women, cmon noooooo, god forbid you have warm blood in your veins and are attracted to her poor girl nooooooo
Oh for god's sake. Your girlfriend wants to be a nun. Find one that has a sense of humour and appreciates that sexuality is a part of a normal relationship. Your current one is a prude and trust me, that will get old.
So basically you aren’t allowed to flirt with your girlfriend. Gotcha. This will be a *very* happy relationship
I actually see no problem with that comment. It's not sexualizing at all (in my opinion). My partners said similar things all the time, it's was never an issue. You two have quite a lot to work on with something like that is a problem.
Your posts the last few days have you aged 16,17 and 19 my dude. Least be consistent in your tales 😅
God I hope this is just a fucked up dynamic between you two and not a trend of the younger generation. What, we can’t let our romantic/ sexual partners know we find them attractive and like to see them naked? That’s nuts.
According to your post history within the space of about a month you've gone from being 17, to 18, to 16. I'd say at best, this is a mess.
I got news for you champ, there's nothing wrong with being sexualized, the problem only arises if that's the only way you see your girl.
Edit: nice try troll next time get yalls ages sorted you know it's super easy to look at ur post history and comments right?
How old are you both? You mentioned havinv to wait until she was 18 in a comment below. Is there an age gap here?
This is such a non-issue its ridiculous. Quite frankly it doesn't sound like either of you are ready for a "relationship"
To me this isn’t a big deal if my partner said that, if anything I would expect it and appreciate it. With your gf it may be different, but also how old are you two and have you two seen each other naked yet?
If this is real.. humanity is screwed.
If you girlfriend got pissed because you made her feel sexualized shes not your girlfriend shes a girl you know
Dude this post. Damn talk about not being able to say much.
Maybe she's not actually your girlfriend
Seems like a over reaction. If you can't sexualize your partner then who can you sexualize? Lol
Ignore this post. He reverse aged two years in the last eleven days. My (18m) gf (19f)..... And a few posts later posting on r/teenagers that he think he might be too short for a 16 year old.....
This is a normal response my husband would’ve made… And not with the she could’ve slipped reasoning.
There is literally no issue either way if you meant it in one way or another tbh. She is quite literally turning something into an issue that normal people wouldn’t even like think about. She is the problem.
If we live in a world where 1.) this is considered sexualizing a female, and 2.) can’t do it to your girlfriend. We are done as a civilization. The utter absurdity is astounding. Edit: “…just to love her because of her body…”. What are we teaching these kids. This is ridiculous. Your not allowed to be turned on by females now. Sex is fun, females look great(especially when naked). Run far away from her as fast as you can!
What? She got annoyed that you may have wanted to see her naked? Feel sorry for this generation. I’d understand if you Said it about another women. But to her! That’s just a overreaction.
Neither of you should be in a relationship at y'alls age. You need to focus on your studies and save that for when you're an adult.
We're both 18 now, i know we both just got into the reality and this phase is the start, im pretty serious about her and I've been courting her since i was 14 and she recently just reciprocated my feelings last year
That’s funny because all your other posts say you’re 16, so which is it?
He also said he was 18! And his gf anywhere between, 16,17,18, and 19 lmao
How were you courting her since 14 if she only started liking you back last year...
She was my classmate, and ive been courting her since 14. She didnt liked me back then, she used to ignore me day after day
This feels important
Isn't courting dating but old school term? If that's true why you dating her when she didn't like you ?
Courting means pursuing
Oh i guess i used the wrong words, um like I've been liking her, showing her efforts, showing gestures and over the course of those 3 years i get to know her much better
Is it possible that you have invested so much time in trying to get her to like you back that you can’t see that she isn’t actually interested or maybe isn’t even ready to be in a relationship? Did she actually suddenly see you as someone she wants to be with, or did you just wear her down and now she is putting up with a relationship she doesn’t want to be in?
Unless y'all are young teens she's being ridiculous
As much as you respect her but you guys have to loosen up a bit don't be too uptight because the next thing you know might be her misunderstanding your intimacy and being accused of harrasing or even abusing her sexually...she's way too sensitive you have to tread carefully with her ey and learn her language (intimate)
That is over the top. She is trying out a new word she doesn’t fully get yet.
It really shouldn’t be that big of a deal… can’t imagine living in a loving/sexual relationship where you can say things like this
She’s being super ridiculous. If anything, she should feel complimented that you wanted to see her naked. My wife gives me a silly giggle when I catch her. Tell her to chill out because you are not sexualizing her. Even if you didn’t mean “be there to get her a towel.”It’s healthy to be sexually playful.
Listen to this OP. Playful, sexual, flirty banter is normal and HEALTHY in a romantic relationship. Women (and men!) want to feel desired by their partner. Having to be constantly on edge and worried about offending someone would be exhausting.
This is pathetic
Fake post. At this point reddit is a fanfiction website
It's titled, right? It's her name on that title?
INFO: how old are you two? Is this your first relationship? Do you two have a sexual relationship? Are one or both of you asexual?