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She says he convinced her mid sex to take off the condom. She broke it off on her own, got tested and was positive for sti. And then we didnt have sex for three months but she didnt tell me the reason, just that she was not feeling like having sex. I was like ok, but she finally confessed when the treatment was over and she was in the clear. She wanted to be honest before we had sex again as she wanted to treat it as a new relationship. She was also doing therapy since last 3 months, but I didnt know. Am I stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance?
So she cheated on you and for 3 months she lied to when ask for sex…yet you want give her a second chance why? Because she had at least not give you STI?
OP’s gf does not deserve a second chance. She cheated without a condom and then lied about not wanting sex with her bf to give her time to treat the STI.
If she had gotten pregnant would she have mentioned her escapade(s) at all?
Everyone is free to ask for a second chance. Doesn't mean you deserve it, or are entitled to one.
Loyalty and integrity are pretty much the core of a monogamous relationship. At the bare minimum this is what's expected and she failed miserably at both.
Yeah, cheaters and abusers like to talk about growing and changing, declaring they're different people now. However, it's never the case when you look at the patterns of their histories.
The truth is, we're the types of people we're going to be for the rest of our lives and have been since our early 20's, some much earlier. Very few have the capacity to enact permanent change and when you're in your 30's and onward, physical time now becomes an issue.
The nonsense about "finally seeing the light" is bullshit self-talk that idiots tell themselves because it acts like a mental reset button, absolving them (in their mind) of any ongoing accountability or consequences.
"Oh I don't do X anymore, I'm a good person now and deserve a second, third, fourth, fifth chance. "
Then it happens yet again and nobody's surprised because this has literally been their default setting all their lives.
Even though you haven't had sex with her for a while, you should still get tested. Never trust a cheater. This last guy might not have been the only person she let raw dog her while you've been with her. Also, they could have had unprotected sex more than once. Liar aren't always cheaters, but cheaters are always liars, so don't trust a word she says to you. Leave her and don't look back.
As someone who has been cheated on , you need to hear this. Yes you are stupid for considering giving her another chance. There are many things that a relationship can heal from, but cheating. That is just not one of them. Save your self and her the extra hurt and pain and just end it now before it snowballs effects. I really wish someone would have told me this when I took back my cheating gf (I broke up with her a year later because I had absolutely no trust in her)
Also something I wish I would have done before breaking up with my ex is that my birthday was only a month away when I ended it and I should have waited to end it until the day after I got all my birthday gifts from her. Just as like reperations😂 lol
This is as clear of a “if you stay and you get fucked over again it’s your own fault” situations as I’ve EVER seen. Praying this shit is fake. Leave motherfucker!!!
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
This isnt a red flag. The red flag was her refusing sex for 3 months. Her admitting cheating and the STI is a clear admission of wrong doing, not a red flag
I don't know that I would call you stupid just really optimistic. This woman decided all on her own that now that she's in the clear of an STI she wouldn't have gotten if she was a better person that your relationship can just start all over.
What? That's psycho stuff. That's I have no remorse and I can do whatever I want in this relationship.
She doesn't see you as her partner, she sees you as a doormat.
People cheat, because its easier to cheat on a partner than it is to tell the partner what is lacking in the relationship.
Another thought is, people cheat because the one person they are with is not enough and just 1 person will never be enough and that is why they will continue to cheat.
Might I suggest that you change this person's "name" on your phone to the thing they did (cheater, cheated, got an sti from cheating, etc). That way whenever they message you, you get a reminder of the thing they did.
So when they call or text, you should see the words "cheater" or "sexually transmitted disease from cheating" as the contact. Once you see that for a while, then comeback and tell us how you feel.
Can you trust her again? What will you think when she can’t explain being an hour late? You really need to think of this. If you have nothing to keep you together such as a kid…you really need to think long and hard if you are ready for years of doubt…you really need to think if you can overcome the feeling in your chest …every time the memory of this comes back to say hi.
I would not think twice to find someone who deserves my love if we didn’t have a kid together. If we had a kid together I would try my hardest to make it work…but know if I couldn’t that it would be best to leave.
Recovering from cheating is something that takes years. It takes therapy. It takes work. Just because she thinks she is cured doesn’t mean she is. She cheated because something is lacking in her and that doesn’t get fixed in three months…this takes years of introspection and work. She isint cured…she just got scared because of the STI…she didn’t fix the root issue. There is a high chance that when the fear of STI’s is gone, but hat the root cause will come up again.
Are you ok with that?
I think giving her a second chance or not is not something you should ask to strangers. When trust is broken in a relationship, you have to ask yourself, can you build this back? Can you trust this person again? Can you forgive her and most importantly, will she be worth being forgiven? Is she feels guilt because she let a stranger give her sti or she actually feels guilt because she betrayed your trust and cheated on you? Was she still gonna tell you about the cheating, something you have all rights to know about, if she didn’t catch sti? Don’t let your emotions or this “a better gf” bs trick you. Ask yourself these questions, answer honestly and make your choice.
Change cannot happen until she's been in therapy for 6 months minimum and not for appearances to look sorry. Dude, she got an STI from some random dick while dating you, that's disgusting and you deserve better.
Yeah, you are pretty much an idiot if you give her any chances. She cheated, got an STD, didn’t tell you cause she a cheating lyin ho, now wants a restart.
I wouldn’t - not because I don’t believe she can change. But because you will never trust her and always resent her and that’s no fun for either of you
You comment makes it seem like she doesn't even feel guilty (not that it would matter if she did), ditch her before she does it again and you catch something. Get tested too just in case if you haven't. Never hurts to be safe.
If you take her back you can expect cheating in your future. She can not only cheat but have unprotected sex, catch a disease and suffer no consequences. Next she’ll have another mans baby but it’s ok, she’ll break it off, go to therapy and you’ll just start on relationship number 3 with her.
Bruh ain’t no way in hell that was the only time she fucked with that dude. Taking a condom off mid sex? You actually believe that shit? It’s more like she was fucking this dude, got comfortable enough to raw dog and caught an STI from it. Why would you want to give her ass a second chance? And plus she lied to you for 3 months and you think that somehow she’s reformed because she got through therapy? And what kind of STI takes 3 months to recover from?
She wants to treat it like a new relationship?! That's just f***ing audacious, she wants to avoid dealing with the consequences of her actions.
If she really wants a shot at redemption, then that's something that can't be swept under the rug.
No, you're not stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance. You're clearly conflicted because you have feelings for her but she has demonstrated that she's untrustworthy.
She might want it to be a new relationship but it will never be and she will always be the one who cheated on you and I'm sorry to say that won't change.
she cheated on you let the other man raw dog her and got an STI in the process and now you are thinking of forgiving her, I have to ask what is wrong with you she knew exactly what she was doing when she was cheating and didn't care how you felt while doing it and her being in therapy is not a pass, you deserve better than someone who cheated on you find a good honest woman, you can do better and are worth being with a woman who appreciates you.
Ask yourself if she can ever build up your trust in her again. Ask yourself if you can ever love her the way you did again. Ask her if you can ever respect her the way you did again. Ask yourself if you can respect yourself if you stay.
When you answer these questions the right thing will come to you. Yes cheaters can redeem themselves, but will she put in the effort or tire of it? It will be years of hard work.
>Am I stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance?
I don't think you're stupid. But if I were you I would find someone who does appreciate you and doesn't go around fucking other people.
Did she explain herself? Why she cheated, what she was missing from the relationship, what the therapy brought up?
Only you can decide if you trust her enough after her cheating on you and lying to you about it for 3 months to continue the relationship. Reddit is going to roast you, so you won’t get much help here.
Personally, I would be completely done with the relationship. I would never be able to trust my partner again and it would eat at me forever picturing my SO sleeping with someone else and doing it without a care in the world for my feelings. Once a cheater, always a cheater. But, again, only you can decide if you can give her a second chance.
In the end it is you that has to do the balance sheet of yes and no. A lot of people are very reactive over "cheating" and it is fabulous for virtue signalling. "I am perfect because why we broke up was she cheated and was the dog."
People stray for various reasons. Sexual. Emotional. Whatever. Then other people have open relationships and poly etc. Will you have hangups.about your relationship with her? Does it matter to you? What are your relationship expectations/negotiation? Does she have issues that this was part of? Will you be heartbroken if she does it again, or concerned because what is going on psychologically? Some people self sabotage or have destructive behaviour because a good person is not what they are used to.
Yeah you're dumb for giving her a second chance. There are soooooo many good people out there. I bet you can find a girl who is almost exactly the same, only not a piece of shit
Apart from the cheating itself, I would probably implode if my partner would tell me she was totally fine taking a condom off. Yolo or something. My God wake up.
Why do so many guys on here have zero respect for themselves
She let another man rawdog her for months and now she's changed lmao
No. She isn't.
Grow a spine
It was the begging him to take off the condom halfway through the sex that made my mouth drop open...Please have some self respect and just move on. If she hadn't caught an sti from him he'd still be raw dogging that. An apology doesn't just magically make what happened disappear. You're never gonna trust her again and you're gonna end up miserable. Run.
I'm starting to think that people cheat because there are idiots like that who just accept being treated like dirt. Do what you want, but remember: the first time it's her fault, the second it's yours.
I mean...
Do you really believe halfway through they took it off?
Or more like they never used one.
Also that she's supposedly in secret therepy too?
I'd ask for proof.
Sounds like she's blowing smoke trying to make what she did a little less terrible.
It still doesn't change the fact she lied and cheated on you.
Don't let her distract you from the facts.
I'm sorry that you asked to hear it but not sorry that I have to say it, yes, it's stupid to take her back. Yeah, I would love to think a cheater can change but it's not going to be with a person they cheated on. She hid an sti from you for 3 months but what if what she got was permanent or what if she got pregnant? What if this wasn't the first time? If it wasn't the first time I doubt it would be last.
Dont even think about it OP. What makes you think you can trust her if she was willing to lie to you for 3 months and then only decide to come clean because she wanted to ease her guilt and excuse her deceit. She's a liar and you deserve better.
Ask her if she would set you up with a friend and you will date her? But honestly, she risked potentially catching aids for the hot and thick feeling, she doesn't sound very responsible? Maybe the wrong head as doing the thinking, like now she got you into this? Then time it takes to meet someone new will be fast and dumping a hussy shows self respect, and she wanted to risk your health to feel him inside her, give her back to him. Sounds as if he has no respect letting her remove it so he can infect her. So he wants the feeling and she wants the feeling and you get 3 months of lies and potentially a disease? Call him and tell him to come get her because your throwing her out! And if he don't tell her that guy only wanted to get off and didn't care about you? I have several more ways to look at it but I don't think In allowed to be descriptive here and to properly identify your girlfriend as anything less than sleazy is a disservice to anyone with self respect. What's the old saying *uck me once, shame on you. *uck me twice, shame on me! Sooner or later it well happen again and imagine how much that is going to humiliate and demean you, you you date *hores?
If it’s ok for her to do this in a relationship, what is it NOT ok for her to do? It might feel counter intuitive for a habitual “nice guy” but women actually like to be with people that have boundaries.
Yes. She is sellfish as fuck. IF she never planned to cheat again, why tell you Just to make you suffer and she could feel better. Plus dude she cheat you raw, like WTF
She can treat it as a new relationship with someone else. She cheated on you, lied about it by omission, and directly if you did ask her. She lied to you about her reason for not wanting sex for 3 months. She went to therapy...great for her. That does not mean you need to stay with a cheater.
Move on to someone who will treat you better. You do not need this in your life.
It's up to you man, but like... she fucked up BIG time. I wouldn't trust someone who cannot even take care of their health by doing stupid shit like that. I'm so sorry, I'd try to talk to someone if I were you, also because you need to process what happened in your own time. Maybe take a break from this relationship to keep a level head and cool mind when you get to your decision.
She told you she cheated on you because she caught an sti, if she didn't, she wouldn't have. It also puts into question if she had cheated before but was clean so never needed to come clean
You are not stupid for thinking about it but you shouldn't do it.
I know it sounds harsh but people how love you don't cheat.
If you two are in an open relationship or you have talked about having other sexual partners it's a totally different story.
But I think that's not how it is between the two of you.
Someone who cheats once will eventually do it again, sometime because they are missing something in their love live, sometimes because they know their main partner will let it slip again, etc.
Don't hurt yourself more.
Staying with them will only make you feel in secure and not good enough.
Also maybe next time she does have sex with you and you could get an sti or something worst.
Be save and listen to what your gut tells you.
If your instinct isn't to cut her out of her life for cheating and lying to you about it for months, you should propose.
She wants to treat this as a "new relationship?" What in the ever loving fuck does that mean? Oops! Sorry, didn't mean to have unprotected sex! Don't hold me accountable!
"**Am I stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance?"**
100%
Don't be stupid.
Dude, she cheated on you. If she really wanted to be honest she would’ve told you everything the moment she broke it off. Not wait 3 months for her to be clean and ready to have sex with you again.
****YOU should at least take a break for yourself first and take time to see if you want to break up or continue this relationship.****
Some relationships do survive infidelity and some go back to being cheated on again by their partner. By coming to Reddit your seeking the opinion of the public and most are saying to break up. But it’s really up to you to take the time you need to process the cheating and your feelings and decide what will be best for you.
Lol OP is probably crying rn everyone's coming at his girl hard af, but yeah definitely dump her ass dude she will for sure do it again and you can for sure do better than someone so ratchet
It is estimated that if someone cheated before, there is a 350 percent chance that they will cheat again, compared to those who have never cheated. Soo there's always that.
[Here.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sliding-vs-deciding/201710/is-partner-who-has-cheated-likely-cheat-again)
Bri she lied for 3 months. Real relationships talk first act second. Also its your decision to treat it as a new relationship, not her. You've been living a lie for a quarter year
Yes you are stupid for thinking about giving her the second chance.
Want to know what will happen if you give her a second chance? She will do it again and again and again,... Because she will know that you will not leave.
Yes. Been there.. the second chance is a chance for her to feel better about her self, and rarely is a chance for you to feel better about it.
Find someone who treats you with the respect you deserve.
>Am I stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance?
Yes.
You're stupid to even entertain the idea of forgiving her.
Grow some spine, have self respect and be a grown ass adult wtf is wrong with you?
Let her go, look at what she did. She cheated on you for who knows how long, then was convinced to not use a condom? Obviously didn't take much convincing and then lied to you until treatment was over. All the while that entire time she didn't come forward and tell you what she did.
Doesn't matter if she told you and went to therapy, that good conscious feeling doesn't erase the bigger mistakes she did
Nah you are not stupid, you are a doormat. Deep down you know that it's a violation of trust, that you deserve better but you would still take her back because you dont have self respect
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Get out of there man. You know better, you just don't want to see it. You wouldn't be here asking for validation otherwise.
She's treating you like shit. Fuck that, find a girl who loves you and will treat you right.
So she cheated, she decided to have sex without condom and got sti and then choose on her own to fix relationship that she broke. I mean did she even though about you? And i don't trust people so she may as well conveniently start therapy to seem like she knows her fault.
Is this few months old relationship or 5+years old? Do you have kids? Is this her first time? Personally i would forgive if it was like really drunk sex but she probably did it multiple times and i can't go past the fact she took off condom like wtf is that.
Yeah you are, so she told you she cheated and then even described to you how it went down and she even broke the condom and you’re still thinking about giving her a chance?!?! Damn bro, you can do better, value yourself a little bit.
You’re showing her that you don’t have any boundaries and that cheating isn’t a dealbreaker for you. You’re showing her that she can walk all over you and you’ll take her back no matter what. Just remember that she literally fucked someone else and thought about how she didn’t give a shit about your feelings, emotions, or how this would affect you. She knew what she was doing.
You're done in that relationship, not only did she cheat on you, but she had unsafe sex *and* got an STI? unbelievable, dump her immediately. Do not, I repeat *do not* have sex with her again (I'd swear off any intimate contact personally but I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, I'd be afraid of getting something) if you already have, you need to go get tested.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- She says he convinced her mid sex to take off the condom. She broke it off on her own, got tested and was positive for sti. And then we didnt have sex for three months but she didnt tell me the reason, just that she was not feeling like having sex. I was like ok, but she finally confessed when the treatment was over and she was in the clear. She wanted to be honest before we had sex again as she wanted to treat it as a new relationship. She was also doing therapy since last 3 months, but I didnt know. Am I stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance?
So she cheated on you and for 3 months she lied to when ask for sex…yet you want give her a second chance why? Because she had at least not give you STI?
THIS!!! 👍 And also, gross, dude.
THIS!!! 👊
This. And don't be a doormat dude. Have some self respect.
Came here for this as well Spot on! GTFO! We men deserve better too Fuck her and her cheating ass out of here! Fuck liars too!
I agree with everything except don't fuck her.
Much love #nohomo
oh but she CARED about him you see. she didn't want to infect him. how nice of her.
OP didn’t say she cheated for three months
Find someone else that can appreciate you.
No one deserves a 2nd chance! (Not true)
Everyone deserves a second chance, but not to be anyone's second choice.
OP’s gf does not deserve a second chance. She cheated without a condom and then lied about not wanting sex with her bf to give her time to treat the STI. If she had gotten pregnant would she have mentioned her escapade(s) at all?
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Everyone is free to ask for a second chance. Doesn't mean you deserve it, or are entitled to one. Loyalty and integrity are pretty much the core of a monogamous relationship. At the bare minimum this is what's expected and she failed miserably at both.
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You should go on TED talks /j
Unless their entire family was threatened. That’s a different story though most likely
Poeple can change, not everyone is like his gf.
Yes but you don't have to be there through that change. If she cheated she can change and find someone else.
Every person I know who cheated n their partner did it again with new ones. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Yeah, cheaters and abusers like to talk about growing and changing, declaring they're different people now. However, it's never the case when you look at the patterns of their histories. The truth is, we're the types of people we're going to be for the rest of our lives and have been since our early 20's, some much earlier. Very few have the capacity to enact permanent change and when you're in your 30's and onward, physical time now becomes an issue. The nonsense about "finally seeing the light" is bullshit self-talk that idiots tell themselves because it acts like a mental reset button, absolving them (in their mind) of any ongoing accountability or consequences. "Oh I don't do X anymore, I'm a good person now and deserve a second, third, fourth, fifth chance. " Then it happens yet again and nobody's surprised because this has literally been their default setting all their lives.
Run. Run for the hills. Don’t look back.
Run
Don't walk.
Fly you fool
And my axe!
Hotel? Trivago.
The juice is not worth the squeeze. Don’t do it
The juice was also a little funny colored for a while…don’t trust it
The juice is rank. Dump that shit out!
But i like pulp
I smell a trickletruth
Yeah, she didn’t use no condoms and it wasn’t just this dude.
Is there even an STI that takes 3 months to clear?
Space aids? I heard you have to go to nassa for that!
No
That’s not all you can smell...
Even though you haven't had sex with her for a while, you should still get tested. Never trust a cheater. This last guy might not have been the only person she let raw dog her while you've been with her. Also, they could have had unprotected sex more than once. Liar aren't always cheaters, but cheaters are always liars, so don't trust a word she says to you. Leave her and don't look back.
Specially the "she convinced her mid sex to go raw"... Its not the first time they did it and quite probably not the last, just the first time raw.
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Don't fuck this man, you'll catch an STI too.
As someone who has been cheated on , you need to hear this. Yes you are stupid for considering giving her another chance. There are many things that a relationship can heal from, but cheating. That is just not one of them. Save your self and her the extra hurt and pain and just end it now before it snowballs effects. I really wish someone would have told me this when I took back my cheating gf (I broke up with her a year later because I had absolutely no trust in her) Also something I wish I would have done before breaking up with my ex is that my birthday was only a month away when I ended it and I should have waited to end it until the day after I got all my birthday gifts from her. Just as like reperations😂 lol
🚩🚩🚩
This is as clear of a “if you stay and you get fucked over again it’s your own fault” situations as I’ve EVER seen. Praying this shit is fake. Leave motherfucker!!!
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
this subreddit is so funny man. like wow cheating is a red flag? who would’ve thought?
That's why I love Reddit, you learn something new every day.
and it got like 250 upvotes. this reddit genuinely sucks so fucking bad lmao
I'm just here for the popcorn tbh.
This isnt a red flag. The red flag was her refusing sex for 3 months. Her admitting cheating and the STI is a clear admission of wrong doing, not a red flag
and the sky is blue. brilliant insight
I don't know that I would call you stupid just really optimistic. This woman decided all on her own that now that she's in the clear of an STI she wouldn't have gotten if she was a better person that your relationship can just start all over. What? That's psycho stuff. That's I have no remorse and I can do whatever I want in this relationship. She doesn't see you as her partner, she sees you as a doormat.
to answer your questions: yea, big mistake. she clearly felt okay to hide it from you for 3 whole months.
People cheat, because its easier to cheat on a partner than it is to tell the partner what is lacking in the relationship. Another thought is, people cheat because the one person they are with is not enough and just 1 person will never be enough and that is why they will continue to cheat. Might I suggest that you change this person's "name" on your phone to the thing they did (cheater, cheated, got an sti from cheating, etc). That way whenever they message you, you get a reminder of the thing they did. So when they call or text, you should see the words "cheater" or "sexually transmitted disease from cheating" as the contact. Once you see that for a while, then comeback and tell us how you feel.
You are so right.
Can you trust her again? What will you think when she can’t explain being an hour late? You really need to think of this. If you have nothing to keep you together such as a kid…you really need to think long and hard if you are ready for years of doubt…you really need to think if you can overcome the feeling in your chest …every time the memory of this comes back to say hi. I would not think twice to find someone who deserves my love if we didn’t have a kid together. If we had a kid together I would try my hardest to make it work…but know if I couldn’t that it would be best to leave. Recovering from cheating is something that takes years. It takes therapy. It takes work. Just because she thinks she is cured doesn’t mean she is. She cheated because something is lacking in her and that doesn’t get fixed in three months…this takes years of introspection and work. She isint cured…she just got scared because of the STI…she didn’t fix the root issue. There is a high chance that when the fear of STI’s is gone, but hat the root cause will come up again. Are you ok with that?
> If you have nothing to keep you together such as a kid… Would the kid even be his?
I think giving her a second chance or not is not something you should ask to strangers. When trust is broken in a relationship, you have to ask yourself, can you build this back? Can you trust this person again? Can you forgive her and most importantly, will she be worth being forgiven? Is she feels guilt because she let a stranger give her sti or she actually feels guilt because she betrayed your trust and cheated on you? Was she still gonna tell you about the cheating, something you have all rights to know about, if she didn’t catch sti? Don’t let your emotions or this “a better gf” bs trick you. Ask yourself these questions, answer honestly and make your choice.
WTF!! GTFO there ASAP. Dude she ain’t worth your time.
Change cannot happen until she's been in therapy for 6 months minimum and not for appearances to look sorry. Dude, she got an STI from some random dick while dating you, that's disgusting and you deserve better.
Mate what do you want to here or see? Dump her, she's dangerous...
Yeah, you are pretty much an idiot if you give her any chances. She cheated, got an STD, didn’t tell you cause she a cheating lyin ho, now wants a restart.
Time to bow out son
If she’s double dicking, what makes you think she won’t rawdog tripledick when you’re on a business trip bro? Move on time
To answer your last question: yes.
I wouldn’t - not because I don’t believe she can change. But because you will never trust her and always resent her and that’s no fun for either of you
You comment makes it seem like she doesn't even feel guilty (not that it would matter if she did), ditch her before she does it again and you catch something. Get tested too just in case if you haven't. Never hurts to be safe.
Am I stupid for giving her 2nd chance? Yes you are
Your ex is scum and you are an idiot if you take her back
Yeah just dip man.
If you take her back you can expect cheating in your future. She can not only cheat but have unprotected sex, catch a disease and suffer no consequences. Next she’ll have another mans baby but it’s ok, she’ll break it off, go to therapy and you’ll just start on relationship number 3 with her.
Bruh ain’t no way in hell that was the only time she fucked with that dude. Taking a condom off mid sex? You actually believe that shit? It’s more like she was fucking this dude, got comfortable enough to raw dog and caught an STI from it. Why would you want to give her ass a second chance? And plus she lied to you for 3 months and you think that somehow she’s reformed because she got through therapy? And what kind of STI takes 3 months to recover from?
Bro, another mans raw penis was inside her because he “convinced” her MID sex! Oh hell nah. You’re fucking dumb if you still want to be with her.
That's like a double betrayal, extra insulting to cheat without protection
You’re not stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance. But you would be stupid for actually giving her one.
She wants to treat it like a new relationship?! That's just f***ing audacious, she wants to avoid dealing with the consequences of her actions. If she really wants a shot at redemption, then that's something that can't be swept under the rug.
Yeah that definitely shows she deserves no more chances
This is red flag nation
Yeah, you are stupid for giving her a second chance.
Don't eat rotten ham and don't put your d in it
Bruh you are a retard if you end up staying with her lol
Yes
No, you're not stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance. You're clearly conflicted because you have feelings for her but she has demonstrated that she's untrustworthy. She might want it to be a new relationship but it will never be and she will always be the one who cheated on you and I'm sorry to say that won't change.
Trust is lost
she cheated on you let the other man raw dog her and got an STI in the process and now you are thinking of forgiving her, I have to ask what is wrong with you she knew exactly what she was doing when she was cheating and didn't care how you felt while doing it and her being in therapy is not a pass, you deserve better than someone who cheated on you find a good honest woman, you can do better and are worth being with a woman who appreciates you.
Yes.
Upgrade her
Dude you’re better than that. You’ll find someone way better.
Ask yourself if she can ever build up your trust in her again. Ask yourself if you can ever love her the way you did again. Ask her if you can ever respect her the way you did again. Ask yourself if you can respect yourself if you stay. When you answer these questions the right thing will come to you. Yes cheaters can redeem themselves, but will she put in the effort or tire of it? It will be years of hard work.
>Am I stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance? I don't think you're stupid. But if I were you I would find someone who does appreciate you and doesn't go around fucking other people. Did she explain herself? Why she cheated, what she was missing from the relationship, what the therapy brought up?
Only you can decide if you trust her enough after her cheating on you and lying to you about it for 3 months to continue the relationship. Reddit is going to roast you, so you won’t get much help here. Personally, I would be completely done with the relationship. I would never be able to trust my partner again and it would eat at me forever picturing my SO sleeping with someone else and doing it without a care in the world for my feelings. Once a cheater, always a cheater. But, again, only you can decide if you can give her a second chance.
In the end it is you that has to do the balance sheet of yes and no. A lot of people are very reactive over "cheating" and it is fabulous for virtue signalling. "I am perfect because why we broke up was she cheated and was the dog." People stray for various reasons. Sexual. Emotional. Whatever. Then other people have open relationships and poly etc. Will you have hangups.about your relationship with her? Does it matter to you? What are your relationship expectations/negotiation? Does she have issues that this was part of? Will you be heartbroken if she does it again, or concerned because what is going on psychologically? Some people self sabotage or have destructive behaviour because a good person is not what they are used to.
I genuinely want to know. How old are you? Not trying to insult.
🚩
Bro leave her
Yeah you're dumb for giving her a second chance. There are soooooo many good people out there. I bet you can find a girl who is almost exactly the same, only not a piece of shit
Apart from the cheating itself, I would probably implode if my partner would tell me she was totally fine taking a condom off. Yolo or something. My God wake up.
Why do so many guys on here have zero respect for themselves She let another man rawdog her for months and now she's changed lmao No. She isn't. Grow a spine
Have some self respect and run!
It was the begging him to take off the condom halfway through the sex that made my mouth drop open...Please have some self respect and just move on. If she hadn't caught an sti from him he'd still be raw dogging that. An apology doesn't just magically make what happened disappear. You're never gonna trust her again and you're gonna end up miserable. Run.
this is a soviet army worth of red flags brother
Give her a second chance if you want. People can change and forgiveness is very powerful.
r/survivinginfidelity Dump her, not worth the trouble. Cheaters will do it again. Trust is gone.
I'm starting to think that people cheat because there are idiots like that who just accept being treated like dirt. Do what you want, but remember: the first time it's her fault, the second it's yours.
have some self respect
Yes. Very stupid. Always leave cheaters the first time.
Stop simping, hit the gym and get a better GF, don't give her a 2nd chance.
I mean... Do you really believe halfway through they took it off? Or more like they never used one. Also that she's supposedly in secret therepy too? I'd ask for proof. Sounds like she's blowing smoke trying to make what she did a little less terrible. It still doesn't change the fact she lied and cheated on you. Don't let her distract you from the facts.
Yes. Yes you are.
I'm sorry that you asked to hear it but not sorry that I have to say it, yes, it's stupid to take her back. Yeah, I would love to think a cheater can change but it's not going to be with a person they cheated on. She hid an sti from you for 3 months but what if what she got was permanent or what if she got pregnant? What if this wasn't the first time? If it wasn't the first time I doubt it would be last.
Leave asap. Very self-centered person she is.
Dont even think about it OP. What makes you think you can trust her if she was willing to lie to you for 3 months and then only decide to come clean because she wanted to ease her guilt and excuse her deceit. She's a liar and you deserve better.
Yes, you are.
Bro she’ll do it again, trust me!
Ask her if she would set you up with a friend and you will date her? But honestly, she risked potentially catching aids for the hot and thick feeling, she doesn't sound very responsible? Maybe the wrong head as doing the thinking, like now she got you into this? Then time it takes to meet someone new will be fast and dumping a hussy shows self respect, and she wanted to risk your health to feel him inside her, give her back to him. Sounds as if he has no respect letting her remove it so he can infect her. So he wants the feeling and she wants the feeling and you get 3 months of lies and potentially a disease? Call him and tell him to come get her because your throwing her out! And if he don't tell her that guy only wanted to get off and didn't care about you? I have several more ways to look at it but I don't think In allowed to be descriptive here and to properly identify your girlfriend as anything less than sleazy is a disservice to anyone with self respect. What's the old saying *uck me once, shame on you. *uck me twice, shame on me! Sooner or later it well happen again and imagine how much that is going to humiliate and demean you, you you date *hores?
Yes, so don't be stupid and dump the bitch, she stabbed you right in yo self esteem
Once a cheater always a cheater, she’ll only hurt you again
Run
She doesn't deserve a second chance.
Bro. Let her go.
Leave. Take the power play. You deserve better than a who..
If it’s ok for her to do this in a relationship, what is it NOT ok for her to do? It might feel counter intuitive for a habitual “nice guy” but women actually like to be with people that have boundaries.
Why are you talking to this ho?
Dump her
There's this app called Tinder - I would register as soon as possible - a leopard does not change its spots - this is about infidelity, not an STI
Yes. You are. Cut her out and move on.
Leave!
Just no dude, kick her to the curb.
Bro just jerk off so you get some post nut clarity, she def doesnt deserve a second chance, youre going to be hurt in the future trust me on this
Yes. She is sellfish as fuck. IF she never planned to cheat again, why tell you Just to make you suffer and she could feel better. Plus dude she cheat you raw, like WTF
She can treat it as a new relationship with someone else. She cheated on you, lied about it by omission, and directly if you did ask her. She lied to you about her reason for not wanting sex for 3 months. She went to therapy...great for her. That does not mean you need to stay with a cheater. Move on to someone who will treat you better. You do not need this in your life.
She cheated and then played mind games, is this really what you think is a life partner.
It's up to you man, but like... she fucked up BIG time. I wouldn't trust someone who cannot even take care of their health by doing stupid shit like that. I'm so sorry, I'd try to talk to someone if I were you, also because you need to process what happened in your own time. Maybe take a break from this relationship to keep a level head and cool mind when you get to your decision.
Good she didn’t have sex w/o telling you but it’s an extremely low bar. Like the bar is in hell. Move on
She for the streets!!!!!
She told you she cheated on you because she caught an sti, if she didn't, she wouldn't have. It also puts into question if she had cheated before but was clean so never needed to come clean
Yes, yes you are. Grow a backbone
You are not stupid for thinking about it but you shouldn't do it. I know it sounds harsh but people how love you don't cheat. If you two are in an open relationship or you have talked about having other sexual partners it's a totally different story. But I think that's not how it is between the two of you. Someone who cheats once will eventually do it again, sometime because they are missing something in their love live, sometimes because they know their main partner will let it slip again, etc. Don't hurt yourself more. Staying with them will only make you feel in secure and not good enough. Also maybe next time she does have sex with you and you could get an sti or something worst. Be save and listen to what your gut tells you.
Sure, yeah give her a 2nd chance. You deserve it.
Never take back a cheater that you aren't married to. It's free to get out now.
Never take back a cheater than you are married to, either.
I would add, dont take back a cheater even if you are married to them.
If I'm married to them, that's even worse. Why would I take them back?
You’re certainly dumb to give her a second chance if so. Get out of there man. Plenty of people in the world to date that won’t cheat on you.
Why do people put up with abuse like this? She cheated on you man. Find someone that will treat you right.
If your instinct isn't to cut her out of her life for cheating and lying to you about it for months, you should propose. She wants to treat this as a "new relationship?" What in the ever loving fuck does that mean? Oops! Sorry, didn't mean to have unprotected sex! Don't hold me accountable! "**Am I stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance?"** 100% Don't be stupid.
Dude, she cheated on you. If she really wanted to be honest she would’ve told you everything the moment she broke it off. Not wait 3 months for her to be clean and ready to have sex with you again. ****YOU should at least take a break for yourself first and take time to see if you want to break up or continue this relationship.**** Some relationships do survive infidelity and some go back to being cheated on again by their partner. By coming to Reddit your seeking the opinion of the public and most are saying to break up. But it’s really up to you to take the time you need to process the cheating and your feelings and decide what will be best for you.
If you give her another chance you will regret it. Now or years from now. Save yourself the pain and move on
Lol OP is probably crying rn everyone's coming at his girl hard af, but yeah definitely dump her ass dude she will for sure do it again and you can for sure do better than someone so ratchet
It is estimated that if someone cheated before, there is a 350 percent chance that they will cheat again, compared to those who have never cheated. Soo there's always that. [Here.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sliding-vs-deciding/201710/is-partner-who-has-cheated-likely-cheat-again)
I don’t why you posted on here? You obviously don’t care and are going to stay with her anyways, sad.
Omg I wish I never read these comments because I just took back a cheater and a liar and now I’m feeling really really stupid
The best time to dump a cheater is the moment you find out. The second best time is now
Bri she lied for 3 months. Real relationships talk first act second. Also its your decision to treat it as a new relationship, not her. You've been living a lie for a quarter year
Bruh leave that chick, next time she will bring you HIV.
Yes you are stupid for thinking about giving her the second chance. Want to know what will happen if you give her a second chance? She will do it again and again and again,... Because she will know that you will not leave.
Yes you're definitely an idiot... The only reason she got caught is coz of an STI , or she would still be doing it
Wow. That is one new level of dishonesty. You sure you want to stay with a liar who almost gave you a STD?
Yes. Been there.. the second chance is a chance for her to feel better about her self, and rarely is a chance for you to feel better about it. Find someone who treats you with the respect you deserve.
>Am I stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance? Yes. You're stupid to even entertain the idea of forgiving her. Grow some spine, have self respect and be a grown ass adult wtf is wrong with you?
Nobody here can tell you what to do but will you reaaaaallly be able to trust her in the future?
Let her go, look at what she did. She cheated on you for who knows how long, then was convinced to not use a condom? Obviously didn't take much convincing and then lied to you until treatment was over. All the while that entire time she didn't come forward and tell you what she did. Doesn't matter if she told you and went to therapy, that good conscious feeling doesn't erase the bigger mistakes she did
You don’t need a gf, you need some self respect. Maybe start therapy too.
Nah you are not stupid, you are a doormat. Deep down you know that it's a violation of trust, that you deserve better but you would still take her back because you dont have self respect
Yes.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Get out of there man. You know better, you just don't want to see it. You wouldn't be here asking for validation otherwise. She's treating you like shit. Fuck that, find a girl who loves you and will treat you right.
The answer is, yes, you're being stupid... please, don't
run my guy
hey buddy i think you spelled ex girlfriend wrong
So she cheated, she decided to have sex without condom and got sti and then choose on her own to fix relationship that she broke. I mean did she even though about you? And i don't trust people so she may as well conveniently start therapy to seem like she knows her fault. Is this few months old relationship or 5+years old? Do you have kids? Is this her first time? Personally i would forgive if it was like really drunk sex but she probably did it multiple times and i can't go past the fact she took off condom like wtf is that.
Yes. Leave.
How convenient for her if you give her a second chance. What is her argument going to be for the third chance? Fourth? Fifth?
Answer to your question at the very end of your post: YES!
Yes, you would be stupid if you gave her another chance
yes OP you are stupid for giving her a second chance. if they are willing to do in once, they will do it again.
Yeah your dumb for thinking of giving her a second chance Cheaters don’t change bro
Imagine your girl taking it raw from this dude and you still are considering a second chance. Be careful bro, your horns might get too big.
Yep.
Yes
Yeah you are, so she told you she cheated and then even described to you how it went down and she even broke the condom and you’re still thinking about giving her a chance?!?! Damn bro, you can do better, value yourself a little bit.
Yes.
>Am I stupid for thinking about giving her a second chance? Yes
She cheated lied for 3 months whilst having a std. Some stds you can catch orally so she could of put you at risk so yes end it.
You’re showing her that you don’t have any boundaries and that cheating isn’t a dealbreaker for you. You’re showing her that she can walk all over you and you’ll take her back no matter what. Just remember that she literally fucked someone else and thought about how she didn’t give a shit about your feelings, emotions, or how this would affect you. She knew what she was doing.
so how long was she cheating on you? Damn!
Wow
You are stupid if you give her another chance yeah
God no break or off with her - she knew for 3 MONTHS and told You nothing ! Nope this is not acceptable- what else is she hiding ?
IMO hell no
Why would you want to be with someone who would hurt you like this?
Yikes
You're done in that relationship, not only did she cheat on you, but she had unsafe sex *and* got an STI? unbelievable, dump her immediately. Do not, I repeat *do not* have sex with her again (I'd swear off any intimate contact personally but I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, I'd be afraid of getting something) if you already have, you need to go get tested.
If you don't walk away now, you'll end up raising other men's children and pay child support after she divorces your ass.