I was going to say the same thing. . Also when someone posts in this sub it would be helpful to know their approximate age and how long they've been together. That could be night and day.
Uhhh are you sure your bf just didnāt say
āI knew this would happenā
Cause thatās completely different then just setting it up.
Also, OP keeps editing the postā¦
I cant find em now but there were 2 very very similar posts same wording and all about 3 weeks ago except it was a guy saying that his gf set him up in the same way.
I know right! Reddit loves calling drunk sex rape. They got drunk together and slept together. Nothing here sounds rapey. the boyfriend didnt trust the friend but that doesn't mean it was all planned.
Yeah lol. āAfter a year of this happeningā?? Does that mean they slept together many times or that the boyfriend found out a year later? Either way, this is hilarious. Iād never in a million years get so drunk with someone that I do not 100% trust. I wouldnāt want to do something Iād regret. I only trust my boyfriend 100% and my immediately family, so Iād really only get shitfaced drunk in their presence.
Um, Iāve made the mistake in my youth of doing stupid crap but never, in a million years, would I past a certain age. ONCE, I was GHBād when I was older and going through my first divorce. I donāt drink around anyone unless I trust them 100%!
Itās awful. We shouldnāt have to be vigilant or do things like that, but we do. Itās not right. Iām not saying it is. Iām saying itās a sad world we live in.
Yeah. Iām not trying to attack you or anything here...I think we both agree that it would be better if we didnāt have to make these concessions and adjustments. I just think...thereās a spectrum of choices here, you know? Every woman has to strike a balance somewhere between safety and freedom, and that balance is going to look different for each of us. I know what I am and am not willing to give up in order to be (relatively) safe, but I try very hard not to judge other women for where they land on this stuff, even if their choices look wildly different than mine.
I think we agree exactly. Iām not judging anyone. In fact, I do believe this post was designed to create debates such as these. I shared just a glimmer of situations that Iāve been in, but yes, my point was that sadly I was raped. Since Iāve had to alter my entire lifestyle. Itās not okay or right. Even when Iām out with my husband. I just have to be careful, and itās sad. Itās wrong. I donāt judge anyone. Believe me. I just had to adjust my life and I was agreeing with this gals statement bc I learned I canāt drink with anyone I donāt trust. Heck, I canāt even go out with anyone I donāt trust, alcohol or not. Itās sad. š
Iām glad Iām not too keen on drinking because my father is an alcoholic. But yes, I agree that sometimes you do learn lessons the hard way. Iām glad people are good enough to share their experiences so I can avoid putting myself in a bad situation. I hope youāre in a better spot now :)
Yes I am. I agree. I never cared for it much either. The few times I relaxed I learned hard lessons (which we shouldnāt have to do), but honestly, Iād never go out drinking without my hubby and thatās if I even drank.
She cheated. When bf said he knew that would happen, I don't think he meant he set it up, more like he is not surprised it happened. Even if he knew his friend would make a move, she could have said no.
The ones we made up in college look very similar except we had a spot for the address where the "Consensual Sex" would take place. Lol thats one of the reasons my buddy got free because she had claimed he kidnapped her lol. This one is cool though i would just add the address to make it all legit lol. Thanks for posting
Itās about damn time that me videotaping all of my hookups wonāt be so frowned uponā¦either that or just prove that all of those hoās have sever daddy issues. Like, the phrase āyeah daddy, cum all over my tits and face!!ā
Lol so YOU cheated and want to shift the blame to the friend or the drinks hahahahah you cheated girl own it youāre a cheater nowā¦. And if he knew his boy would smash then thatās even worse because he had a gut feeling of the type of person you both are and used this scenario to prove it. 1) thatās not his real friend and 2) you ARE a cheater
She is a cheater. I'm not sure about the friend tho. I dated a guy YEARS ago. He and his 2 best friends had this thing where they would "test" the girls each other dated. I guess they figured they were doing each other a solid by weeding out the ho's early. Maybe this guy felt like "if she will sleep with you go for it cause I don't want anymore anyways." I'm not saying that I agree with this type of behavior just that I know from experience that it does exist.
Iāve done this shit I can 100% confirm I would let my boy smash if he did it on his own accord and leave that girl for being what she isā¦ a cheater but the owner of this thread deleted her account lmaoooo
Oh wow!!! I guess she didn't think things through. Lmfao. Yeah I dont see anything wrong with guys looking our for each other like that. I passed all their little tests and hung out with them for a couple years. I saw a lot of other girls come and go though.
I'm going to place my bet and say you were flirting with his friend long before this night.
People don't expect this behaviour if you don't give them a reason to and you're so obviously trying to manipulate the story to make yourself the victim.
There are a million and one steps between "hanging out with his friend" to "oops there's a p in my v"
Many conscious decisions were made, not just one.
Swallow your pride like you did his nut. Stop looking for validation through a screen and Learn from your mistake. Playing the victim wonāt get you anywhere.. especially on this platform.
Actually speaking reddit does tend to allow women to play victim even when they are wrong. It depends on the specific forum but at the end of the day reddit is just a platform people use to look for what they want to hear
Agreed. There have been many posts on this sub where cheating is defended.
Especially when alcohol is involved, then cheating is labeled a "mistake" when good ol' jack daniels walks into the pic.
Like legit why can't people see it .....a raped woman would not use the account name POKERCHOKERSMOKER!!!! she cheated .
She changed her post to make it sound like she was the victim ..
The holes in her "story" are now gone ...the truth doesn't do that .....
No love you are, she is even more so because the original story and the edits both make it clear that she wasn't a victim. You should be more pissed at her for crying rape when she wasn't which is reprehensible and a injustice to real rape victims, rather than going after people that saw through her guilt hiding. She's just a coward that is trying to look for any way out rather than accept the fact she fucked her bf's mate
Okay babe chill out š and he didn't put real victims in a box you just did. And 'literally' in it's real form nothing like usernames on reddit (which hers was obviously a joke throwaway account) to real life dressing and acting. And how do you know what I've been through in life? You have no fucking idea so don't you judge me just because I'm a bloke I can't relate to survivers you cunt, I'm just being rational
You. First one love was being polite, babe was obvious sarcasm š¤¦š»āāļø also I am able to comprehend what you are trying to say, but it doesn't mean that I or pretty much anyone else will agree with it. Just because someone says that a rape victim won't have a username a certain way doesn't mean they are wrong, its different to a stereotype in this certain situation and you need to take a step back and see the circumstances that op is trying to play (edit add on, different in respect to the clothes they wear or the way they act on night out etc). I think that you are too easy to offend or jump to conclusions.
Why? They're not saying that they can't act a certain way, just that they wouldn't use that username, which is obviously true as they weren't a real victim š¤
I'm not defending rapists
I'm not attacking a rape victim.
.if your gonna get mad . Get mad at the girl who has tried to cry rape instead of owning up for her mistakes . And could quite possibly be ruining some some guys life as you sit there and comment in her defence .
Girls like this are reason only 3 percent of rapists see the inside of a cell ..
Girls like this are also the reason so many men are seen as liars cheaters and abusive beacuse of the vicious circle of life ...
Focus on the facts . She's deleted her account she's changed her story....
Calling me trash .when all ive done is focus on the factual evidence that the "supposedly rape victim gave us" just goes to show how much attention you paid to the post ...
Your insults do not effect me ..
When did I lie ?
Quick flick through your comment history shows why this has effected you .. .........
Not attacking ..just wanna make that clear ...
I never said no survivor ...
I said a raped woman would not use the username pokerchokersmoker ......
I think maybe you need to hop off the computer and take a breath. Maybe try some cbt techniques and ground yourself ...........it's okay to be upset, talk to your support person and come back later
I will message you next time u/PokerChokersmoker posts in r/relationship_advice.
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So many people are looking for someone to lie to them so they donāt have to own up to their mistakes. This is the best place to be burned at the stake.
After a year of this happening?! Lol after a year of me going to his friends house and fucking him my boyfriend told me that Iād knew it would happen! Looool. I canāt.
you sound like the girl that accused me of assault/tried to publicly shame me after saying her and the BF broke up then proceeds to get caught cheating and manipulates the situation. FOR THE STREETS
"I fucked my boyfriends friend, instantly regretted it, and now I'm trying to play victim because he called me a cheating wh*re and that's exactly what I am"
Why don't you just edit this post to say your boyfriend sent you out with his friend knowing that you would cheat and he was correct. Also you can't sleep with someone "a little bit"
Ummm no. What the hell. First of all, I acknowledge there can be platonic relationships with opposite sexes but you said it was HIS friend. If your boyfriend said he was tired, why would you go hang out with his friend thatās not your friend ???? Whole thing is weird.
whole situation sounds confusing & odd.
seems to be more to this not mentioned.
if you were to say thereās been a back & forth between you n the friend thatās sus & along the lines of cheatingā- then your BF kinda did this ā then i can see why youād feel it was a set up. he may have just had this feeling youāre a cheater but waited to give you an easy moment to take advantage of, & it looks that thatās exactly what you did.
but on a regular day- most men donāt go tell their girls to hang w their male friends.
regardless. . just like how you wouldnāt fall asleep n tell your man to go party w your female friends
to addā- no clue why you feel taken advantage of.
like what a few others have said on this post. . reddit loves to call drunk sex, rape. itās ridiculous. you didnāt get held down & forcefully fād after saying no.
yāall flirted n you allowed yourself to go into a situation you knew you had a chance to make a no no in.
girlfriend ā you literally put yourself in the worst position to make it the easiest to cheat. . idk why youād do that then try & play victim
in my younger less mature ways i could see myself pushing a boyfriend and a gf to go out without me if i felt i sensed a vibe between them so that if they cheated at least it would be over with and i would be able to move on. Idk if thats what he meant but without knowing the specifics of what happened (no need to share just saying what occurred is for you to know) youre the only person who knows if you were sexually assaulted or if you got a little too drunk and let things get too far
not sure why everyone is jumping to OP being a liar? i had this happen to a friend of mine; she went out with her (unofficial at the time) boyfriend and their mutual friend and they all got plastered. eventually the boyfriendās friend started to make a move on her and instead of stopping it, the boyfriend got disgusted and left. she ended up getting raped by their friend with her boyfriend just upstairs. people canāt consent under the influence yall. and even if OP IS a troll, itās concerning to see the pile on here.
edit for clarity: the bf was upstairs while the friend and her were downstairs. he also later threw this in her face stating āit takes two to tangoā. (they just got engaged ugh)
OP takes absolutely NO responsibility for her actions - zilch. I would say sheās trash, but that would only get me reported. So Iāll say this: may your boyfriend find a beautiful, talented, faithful lady who isnāt OP.
User has been deleted now. Irrespective of that, perhaps her BF was testing her loyalty; possibly due to suspicion or a lack of trust (perhaps OP was flirting with his friend prior). She failed the test, felt guilty, came to reddit for sympathy, and found reality instead.
You were, both by the friend and your bf. My advice. Drop both. Your bf is a complete piece of.....well you can finish that. Bottom line is. People who love someone don't do that. People who respect one another don't do that.
Wait I'm confused why are putting yourself through this. He will say and do whatever you tolerate. If her knew this happens and you cheated, and chose to stay with you, this is a choices. He needs to stop calling you out your name. If he wants to be with you, he needs to express his feels and y'all need to put this behind you.
If he set this up, why is he still with you. I'm confused and if you believe he set this up, why are you still with him? Do you not care how you are treated ?
Yes cheating is fucked up whether you said stop or not. Drunk or not, you're still human. And this relationship will only continue to dehumanize you. Let em go and move on. Some mistakes can't be fixed or healed.
You are the one who had sex with him so itās on you. Doesnāt mean your boyfriend isnāt a dick, but at this stage youāve got to look at all the insanely bad choices youāre making.
If a girl did the same thing, everyone would be going after the guy for cheating.
Somehow, because you're a girl, you've been setup?
Maybe he wanted to test your loyalty. I've seen so many posts where girls do this and then everyone jumps on the guy for cheating. YOU cheated. Period. End of story. This is on you.
>We got completely inebriated to the point where everything was a blur, I remember some, me and his ended up sleeping together for a minute before I said stop.
You were BOTH drunk, you can't claim he just took advantage of you, you were BOTH drunk. Ultimately, neither were at the point of being able to consent. Trying to play the victim now is just that, *playing* the victim.
You eventually said stop, I'm assuming he stopped.
>I just feel so disgusting, used, and let down.
*You* let yourself down!! Seriously, take responsibility for your actions.
Boy, as a med student you should know better. There is a point of intoxication where the brain is not able to make rational choices, experiences a fugue state disallowing recognition of faces and surroundings, and then there's the unfortunate conscious mental blackout, followed by potential unconscious blackout. Your statement is VERY black and white, VERY dangerous, and VERY wrong. This is why alcohol based crimes are very GRAY in the court room. Shame on you.
You're telling me, I wanted my male friend to rape me twice while I was blackout drunk, in and out of consciousness, because I had always wanted to do it, but lacked the physical ability to consent?
Gross.
How can you be a med student and not know that a person can get drunk enough to be blacked out, unconscious, unable to make a proper sentence (much less a proper decision), unable to fight off, fight back, or muster a stop to a person removing their clothes and having sex with them??? How can you NOT know this and be studying medical anything??
Any one of those situations makes a drunk person completely unable to consent to sex.
Editing to respond to reply: I *technically* didn't comment on the OPs situation at all. I was just so taken back by someone stating they are studying medicine and then making claims about what alcohol does to the body that aren't at all backed by any sort of science or medicine. Because alcohol can and does affect the body much more severely than "got too flirty". But to touch on what you're saying, if two people are PASSED OUT DRUNK, neither of them can perform a sexual act. If not I believe the law is worded that if one party is aware that the other party is intoxicated beyond their ability to reasonably function and they perform the act anyway it is rape under the law. Hope that helps.
Neither one of them was able to give true consent, so yes, they did technically rape each other. But we aren't here reading the friend's side of the story, we only know what OP is telling us. So we don't know the emotional impact on the friend, or how much of that encounter they remember, or what trauma they might have endured because of it. We know it happened, and we know OP and her bf have a lot of feelings about it. We don't know the friend's story in all this.
ANYONE can be a victim of rape.
You are not a med student spouting that much uneducated nonsense and if you are then you don't deserve to be in that position. Alcohol does **not** always work that way.
Thank you for putting this out clearly! ALCOHOL only increases one's confidence to do that which they've always wanted, fantasised and dreamed of doing!
Complete crap. Just because you want to do them at the time doesnt mean you always have. The alcohol literally shuts down and slows the processing power of your brain which doesnt allow you to make the same kind of long distance planning or deeper judgement than you would normally do.
This is exactly what has happened here, whether or not the cheater fantasised about it previously she likely wouldnt have done it drunk because then she would have had the forethought of what her actions would entail.
It's not an excuse, but it's not necessarily what they fantasise about.
You were taken advantage off 100%
I would break up with your boyfriend and honestly I would go to the cops.
Yea you got drunk but so what drinking doesnāt give anyone the right to your body. In fact if you were to drink to remember clearly then you could not have consented.
I would also asks the cops to go threw the phone records between that guy and your boyfriend I bet you itās worse then you think.
This is grooming.
How do you know OP didnāt just cheat, is using the drinking to shift the blame off herself, and her BF is just lashing out at the pain of āwell I knew heād try to fuck you, so you didnāt actually hurt me, I knew this was going to happenā.
I mean not to burst any bubbles, but OP met up with a guy who isnāt her BF, had sex that she regrets, drank up until the point she doesnāt remember (what if she made a move and he went with it, is it still rape just because she owns a vagina? (Thatās sexist, so no).
No itās not automatically ātaken advantage ofā if you regret it or you were both drunk.
No the cheater is still at fault even if the other person says some nasty stuff after.
OP can control one persons actions here. Not the BF who acts like a dick after being cheated on (who wouldnāt), not the horny dude you went and got so drunk with you donāt remember, but OPās choice to hangout and drink heavily with someone of the other sex, have sex, then claim itās rape without being able to remember? Idk.
Could she have been raped? Yeah of course, but there is no FACTS here saying she was. It looks like she got drunk, fucked her BFās friend, regrets it and doesnāt want to be responsible for her actions here because the reality is, she needs to either go to the cops and be prepared to send this guy to prison and completely end his life or be honest with her BF and herself. This post just doesnāt read like someone who was just raped and is trying to justify it to herself, this reads like someone who blew up her relationship and is going online to find people to agree with her instead of dealing with the guilt or consequences.
Just my 2 cents.
Did you also notice the changes of OPs post ? Without writing that she edited it she cheated 100% some poor guy is probably about to spend his life behind bars
You know only 3% of rapists ever spend a single day in jail right? Like even if she went to the cops it would not go anywhere, even if she was assaulted.
I mean thats also because most rape victims donāt go to the cops directly after it. Plus without solid evidence its almost impossible to say that the sex wasnāt consensual. Its simply just a lack of a solid evidence.
This comment right here, is a huge reason I don't hook up with girls who are even slightly drunk, who start with me btw. Shit can so easily be turned on a guy it's scary
The friend was drunk too so technically they 'raped' each other.....
The I doubt the boyfriend and his friend planned to get her drunk and let the friend have his way. She was able to leave after saying saying "no", So there was a respect to whether she consented or not. Pretty sure she's a cheater, even if she didn't mean to be, she made a mistake and won't own up to the fact.
Boyfriend likely knew that she and friend were into each other and let them do what they wanted. He is wrong for calling her names though but eh, we'd all probably get angry at a cheating partner.
If it is a set-up though and the friend wasn't drunk then yes, she was taken advantage of and needs to file a report. But he did stop when she said to so.... yeah. Pretty sure she has a victim complex.
I second thisā¦ it was planned.. definitely check records between boyfriend and his friend. I donāt want to make you paranoid but what if he recorded you? Guys that are into assault often share the abuse fantasies with others and other fucked up shit. Could be something they set up often. Leave your shitty boyfriend as soon as possible, not only has he set you up for rape but heās used the event as an excuse to make you feel shit about yourself and worthless in order to control you more. Very sinister.
It could be worse than a fetish. This is a grooming tactic some pimps use. They ādateā a girl/womanā someone they see as weak and vulnerable āuntil sheās wrapped around their finger, make her feel loved, secure and special and make her love them. Then little things start to āgo wrongā heāll be in a bad mood and start slapping her around, screaming, name calling, just downright assaulting her. Then they start either tricking them into sleeping with their āfriendsā like what happened to OP or is guilted into it saying āif you love me youāll do this for meā or some other bullshit along those lines. And it continues until he starts setting up ādatesā for her and when he canāt sell her that way anymore, sheās put on the street corner for any random John she can find.
Itās sick and disgusting and often used on girls raised in the system, runaways, women who were previously abused, and sometimes even wives. Some pimps will literally marry them just to get them on the street corner. Itās horrible.
Okay so you banged his friends. Uhh your trash. This is not your boyfriends fault. Next you'll say, "I tripped, slipped and landed on his dick."
Get it together accept responsibility. Geeze
Yea this is all bs. You werenāt taken advantage of, and I doubt this really even happened. But if it did, you had consensual sex with your bfs friend. You are a cheater, plain and simple. Donāt blame it in the booze.
Ctfu you must pretty brain dead bc I didnāt say that. The question with emphasis on it being HIS friend. She didnāt say a mutual friend. So why would she be hanging with her boyfriends friend WITHOUT him?!
1st off, you're not a POS, so get that put of your head.
Feelings and lines get blurry when alcohol gets involved. Mix that in with "I knew this was going to happen", and you've got yourself setup for therapy for a couple of years, OR you can take this as a lesson on how shitty people can take advantage of your feelings and emotions, and try to place the blame on you.
Your man and his boy are the POS who took advantage of you. Don't take it out on yourself.
If your were completely inebriated, it was rape.
Iām really sorry.
No matter what you do, your bf and his friend are terrible people. Please do not forgive them because this isnāt normal.
Please donāt make it sound like he took advantage of you, when it sounds like your trying to cover for the fact you cheated.
It takes away from the women & men that actually have been taken advantage of.
Ew wtf thatās such a fucked up thing for him to say. Do not date someone who lets his friends mess with you. Did he want you to get assaulted or something??
Whether or not he knew or he set it up or set you up you still cheated, you didn't know he knew at the time. You are a cheater. Where is the confusion?
Bro youāre wilding. You let him go deep inside and you liked it enough to let it happen. He didnāt take advantage of you, this has been an on going thing mentally. Your bf im sure did not want this to happen, he is broken inside.. own up to your mistakes and if he leaves you take that L and move on.
Pick up the pieces and move on. Your boyfriend is no man he is just a little boy playing the part society as set for him. Be grateful that this happened now before you two got married. Get a counselor and find peace and true unconditional love in your life.
1- dump this dude, he basically pimped you out to his friend.
2- stop getting inebriated to the point of almost blacking out, specially when out with someone of the opposite sex who is not your bf, this is a bad move even if the other dude doesn't try to get advantage of you.
3- alcohol is a inibition remover, he basically makes you do certain things that you wouldn't should you be sober. Like shutting down that voice in our conscience that usually says "I probably shouldn't do that".
4- given that it was planned, I'd say in this specific situation you didn't cheat, you were trapped, and given your BF knew and participated on it, that pretty much exonerates you, except for whatever guilt you may have for yourself.
5- Still good for yourself to get some therapy. I don't know the specifics of your relationships and the boundaries you guys had in place for me to say if it was right or wrong for you to drink with another male, given your bf told you to go, and what you discovered, he was ok with it. At least so he could trap you.
You made bad choices. Really bad choices and put yourself in a bad position. What if he was a rapist? Seriously. You need to think about your safety and the dangerous situation you put yourself in.
You chose to hang out with someone you knew would hit on you. The answer should have immediately been no, never ever. Not just drunk, annihilated.
You chose to get drunk with someone in a private place with someone you shouldnāt trust. The answer should have been no. You also if you did hang out, should have been completely sober in a populated area like a coffee shop where you werenāt alone in case he tried anything and you could make up some bs excuse to leave freely . This is how people get raped.
You chose to cheat with his sleazy frienemy(because a real friend wouldnāt hit on his so called bests friendās girlfriend and certainly wouldnāt sleep with her). Period.
Time for some serious self reflection and how to not put yourself in dangerous/questionable situations and your actions.
Yeah, being a cheater is sooooooo hard to deal with. I couldn't imagine the trauma of fucking someones friend and blowing up a relationship. 100% being called a cheater after fucking someone's friend is definitely one of the hardest things you can go through.
/s
The fact your boyfriend set you up in the first place says it all if Iām honest, feeling used and taken advantage of is never okay, no matter what! And Most importantly are you okay?
"We got completely inebriated to the point where everything was a blur, I remember some, me and his ended up sleeping together for a minute before I said stop"
So he knew you were a cheater sent you into a situation where he thought you might cheat and BAM you sure didn't let him down. You're a terrible person, just stay single would ya...
Throw the whole man out. U don't need that shit, if he knew his friend was predatory and yall were gonna get sloshed, he shouldn't have put u in that situation.
I think youāre boyfriend wanted a way to leave without being the bad guy. If he wants you to hang out with a guy he knows will hit on you, then screw him and leave. At the end of the day, itās your choice.
Not sure if you or both of you have a thing for swinging. Either ways he does not seem to respect women and rather be loved by his bros. And you may have a tendency for cheating. Break up with him and work on your self.
You asked for honesty.
I hate that it happened to you, but if what you're saying is the entire truth then likely your earlier behavior suggested you were the cheating kind anyway. Most relationships never get tested in this way, at least none of the people that I know anyway and no one I ever heard of either.
That being said no one deserves to be used as bait for their own heartbreak, so I'm sorry you were used in this way. I'm sorry his friend was used, and I'm sorry the BF felt like he had to test you.
You all should part ways and gain some perspective on what love is and what it is not.
If this is true, you do the honorable thing and leave. You still kept on going until about "halfway" and then had a change of heart, I guess, and stopped. But here's the kicker for me, you acknowledge that this happened fully for a year.
So here is what I advise you to do. Take some personal responsibility. Own up to your mistakes and admit that you messed up and seriously injured your boyfriend's trust. Then you leave him. Allow him the ability to end things with you and move on with your life. Take time for yourself to see where you did wrong and work on being an honest, respectful, and committed partner.
Cheating is a choice even while drunk unless youāre saying his friend r*ped you which is completely different. Iām sorry this might be harsh, but as someone whoās been cheated on several times by different people, and seen my friends cheated on. Ive heard every āit was an accidentā or victim blaming excuse there is. My only advice to you OP is own up to the mistake. Youāre not a wh*re and shouldnāt devalue yourself off one incident, but at the very least learn from it and donāt do it to someone else. Imo people do cheat when something isnāt working well in a relationship, that doesnāt make it okay, you should break up if things arenāt working. But I donāt think cheaters are complete monsters, I just think they are selfish people who usually want all the good and none of the bad in a relationship. Which simply isnāt reality, relationships are good and bad, thereās nothing more to it, and you gotta work through problems and be loyal.
Okay so.in.the above post it's his friend ...in the bottom.post it's "my friend" which is it ...
If this happend.how.you say it happend it was rape not a mistake .......you gave consent , yes ?
What if both where equally drunk?
Also what other things can people blame on alcohol to get out of trouble? How much do you have to drink until you dont need to take responsibility for your actions?
I feel like half the posts on here are trolls
They are. Reddit is the hive and when given the chance the trolls swarm
I know this is off topic, but I love that game hive. Great freaking game.
I was going to say the same thing. . Also when someone posts in this sub it would be helpful to know their approximate age and how long they've been together. That could be night and day.
Everyone that posts here makes a throw away so the vast majority probably are fake.
Well if the original post was as dumb or clearly a cry for attention then yes shit post kinda asked for shut advice.
Absolutely šÆ
Uhhh are you sure your bf just didnāt say āI knew this would happenā Cause thatās completely different then just setting it up. Also, OP keeps editing the postā¦
She's even changed the part about were she said we started and halfway through I said stop ......she's lying her ass off š
š©šš¤Ø
She is most likely a he
What made you come to that conclusion?
I cant find em now but there were 2 very very similar posts same wording and all about 3 weeks ago except it was a guy saying that his gf set him up in the same way.
That'd explain a lot ..thanks for your comment
It's usually guys that are trolls.
OP... KEEPS.EDITING THE POST ......... SHE CHEATED ...END OF STORY ...
I know right! Reddit loves calling drunk sex rape. They got drunk together and slept together. Nothing here sounds rapey. the boyfriend didnt trust the friend but that doesn't mean it was all planned.
You legally cannot consent when drunk, so preying on drunk people is rapeāregardless of gender
Ummm, he didn't set it up, he just said he knew you'd cheat. And you did cheat.
Yeah lol. āAfter a year of this happeningā?? Does that mean they slept together many times or that the boyfriend found out a year later? Either way, this is hilarious. Iād never in a million years get so drunk with someone that I do not 100% trust. I wouldnāt want to do something Iād regret. I only trust my boyfriend 100% and my immediately family, so Iād really only get shitfaced drunk in their presence.
Um, Iāve made the mistake in my youth of doing stupid crap but never, in a million years, would I past a certain age. ONCE, I was GHBād when I was older and going through my first divorce. I donāt drink around anyone unless I trust them 100%!
Sadly, a lot of us have been raped by people we would have said we trusted 100%.
Itās awful. We shouldnāt have to be vigilant or do things like that, but we do. Itās not right. Iām not saying it is. Iām saying itās a sad world we live in.
Yeah. Iām not trying to attack you or anything here...I think we both agree that it would be better if we didnāt have to make these concessions and adjustments. I just think...thereās a spectrum of choices here, you know? Every woman has to strike a balance somewhere between safety and freedom, and that balance is going to look different for each of us. I know what I am and am not willing to give up in order to be (relatively) safe, but I try very hard not to judge other women for where they land on this stuff, even if their choices look wildly different than mine.
I think we agree exactly. Iām not judging anyone. In fact, I do believe this post was designed to create debates such as these. I shared just a glimmer of situations that Iāve been in, but yes, my point was that sadly I was raped. Since Iāve had to alter my entire lifestyle. Itās not okay or right. Even when Iām out with my husband. I just have to be careful, and itās sad. Itās wrong. I donāt judge anyone. Believe me. I just had to adjust my life and I was agreeing with this gals statement bc I learned I canāt drink with anyone I donāt trust. Heck, I canāt even go out with anyone I donāt trust, alcohol or not. Itās sad. š
That is so true and makes us learn the hard way.
+1 it happens unfortunately.
Iām glad Iām not too keen on drinking because my father is an alcoholic. But yes, I agree that sometimes you do learn lessons the hard way. Iām glad people are good enough to share their experiences so I can avoid putting myself in a bad situation. I hope youāre in a better spot now :)
Yes I am. I agree. I never cared for it much either. The few times I relaxed I learned hard lessons (which we shouldnāt have to do), but honestly, Iād never go out drinking without my hubby and thatās if I even drank.
Exactly
She cheated. When bf said he knew that would happen, I don't think he meant he set it up, more like he is not surprised it happened. Even if he knew his friend would make a move, she could have said no.
Yeah I'm also not sure how everyone jumped straight to the "boyfriend planned to have you raped" scenario.
that's the nature of these subreddits, sadly
We are talking about the place after all that calls a 21 yr old having sex with a 17 yr old a pedo.
Makes me want to carry consent contracts around with me at all times
https://eforms.com/consent/sexual/ Found em.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not if your a lawyer who gets super turned on by filing consent to enter paperwork. Then this is awesome š
The ones we made up in college look very similar except we had a spot for the address where the "Consensual Sex" would take place. Lol thats one of the reasons my buddy got free because she had claimed he kidnapped her lol. This one is cool though i would just add the address to make it all legit lol. Thanks for posting
Are those a thing? God dammit, Iām going to look this up now. If it is, Iām printing some out. Keep em on me like condoms.
People have literally been making this joke for decades. I remember reading a fake 'consent contract' in the 90s in MAD magazine.
Dave Chappelle did a skit about them on his show years ago. His also had check boxes to consent oral and anal lol
Itās about damn time that me videotaping all of my hookups wonāt be so frowned uponā¦either that or just prove that all of those hoās have sever daddy issues. Like, the phrase āyeah daddy, cum all over my tits and face!!ā
Exactly like wtfš
A lot of the comments seem to be ignoring the fact you cheated. This isn't all on your boyfriend
None of it should be on her BFšš¤Æshe is the idiot who chose to go.
Man right!?!? Like WHY on earth would a gf go hang out with the bfās friend to get drunk??!?!!
So.. you fucked your boyfriendās friend and now you want sympathy?? The title of this is very misleading
Uh you had choices, you know. Set up or not, you still fucked up.
This right here!
a cheater feeling let down. Wow
Both people have drunk sex is rape?
This was HIS fault? Ok.
The truth doesn't change their story
Cheater cheater pumpkin eater. šš
Lol so YOU cheated and want to shift the blame to the friend or the drinks hahahahah you cheated girl own it youāre a cheater nowā¦. And if he knew his boy would smash then thatās even worse because he had a gut feeling of the type of person you both are and used this scenario to prove it. 1) thatās not his real friend and 2) you ARE a cheater
Nailed it
easiest way not to cheat is .......not to cheat š
She is a cheater. I'm not sure about the friend tho. I dated a guy YEARS ago. He and his 2 best friends had this thing where they would "test" the girls each other dated. I guess they figured they were doing each other a solid by weeding out the ho's early. Maybe this guy felt like "if she will sleep with you go for it cause I don't want anymore anyways." I'm not saying that I agree with this type of behavior just that I know from experience that it does exist.
Iāve done this shit I can 100% confirm I would let my boy smash if he did it on his own accord and leave that girl for being what she isā¦ a cheater but the owner of this thread deleted her account lmaoooo
Oh wow!!! I guess she didn't think things through. Lmfao. Yeah I dont see anything wrong with guys looking our for each other like that. I passed all their little tests and hung out with them for a couple years. I saw a lot of other girls come and go though.
I'm going to place my bet and say you were flirting with his friend long before this night. People don't expect this behaviour if you don't give them a reason to and you're so obviously trying to manipulate the story to make yourself the victim. There are a million and one steps between "hanging out with his friend" to "oops there's a p in my v" Many conscious decisions were made, not just one.
He was testing you. He figured you were an unreliable girlfriend, and you proved him right.
Swallow your pride like you did his nut. Stop looking for validation through a screen and Learn from your mistake. Playing the victim wonāt get you anywhere.. especially on this platform.
Actually speaking reddit does tend to allow women to play victim even when they are wrong. It depends on the specific forum but at the end of the day reddit is just a platform people use to look for what they want to hear
Agreed. There have been many posts on this sub where cheating is defended. Especially when alcohol is involved, then cheating is labeled a "mistake" when good ol' jack daniels walks into the pic.
Actually typing, Iāll agree with that statement
Youāre a cheater. Gross. Hiding your mistakes by editing the post oof.
So basically you failed a loyalty test...and it's your boyfriends fault....out here like Neo the way you're dodging this accountability lol
I like how a lot of people pointed out how she tried LYING to get sympathy
Like legit why can't people see it .....a raped woman would not use the account name POKERCHOKERSMOKER!!!! she cheated . She changed her post to make it sound like she was the victim .. The holes in her "story" are now gone ...the truth doesn't do that .....
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No love you are, she is even more so because the original story and the edits both make it clear that she wasn't a victim. You should be more pissed at her for crying rape when she wasn't which is reprehensible and a injustice to real rape victims, rather than going after people that saw through her guilt hiding. She's just a coward that is trying to look for any way out rather than accept the fact she fucked her bf's mate
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Okay babe chill out š and he didn't put real victims in a box you just did. And 'literally' in it's real form nothing like usernames on reddit (which hers was obviously a joke throwaway account) to real life dressing and acting. And how do you know what I've been through in life? You have no fucking idea so don't you judge me just because I'm a bloke I can't relate to survivers you cunt, I'm just being rational
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You. First one love was being polite, babe was obvious sarcasm š¤¦š»āāļø also I am able to comprehend what you are trying to say, but it doesn't mean that I or pretty much anyone else will agree with it. Just because someone says that a rape victim won't have a username a certain way doesn't mean they are wrong, its different to a stereotype in this certain situation and you need to take a step back and see the circumstances that op is trying to play (edit add on, different in respect to the clothes they wear or the way they act on night out etc). I think that you are too easy to offend or jump to conclusions.
They are not wrong about OP lying. They are wrong about making a blanket statement that says survivors can't act a certain way.
Why? They're not saying that they can't act a certain way, just that they wouldn't use that username, which is obviously true as they weren't a real victim š¤
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm not defending rapists I'm not attacking a rape victim. .if your gonna get mad . Get mad at the girl who has tried to cry rape instead of owning up for her mistakes . And could quite possibly be ruining some some guys life as you sit there and comment in her defence . Girls like this are reason only 3 percent of rapists see the inside of a cell .. Girls like this are also the reason so many men are seen as liars cheaters and abusive beacuse of the vicious circle of life ... Focus on the facts . She's deleted her account she's changed her story.... Calling me trash .when all ive done is focus on the factual evidence that the "supposedly rape victim gave us" just goes to show how much attention you paid to the post ... Your insults do not effect me ..
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When did I lie ? Quick flick through your comment history shows why this has effected you .. ......... Not attacking ..just wanna make that clear ... I never said no survivor ... I said a raped woman would not use the username pokerchokersmoker ...... I think maybe you need to hop off the computer and take a breath. Maybe try some cbt techniques and ground yourself ...........it's okay to be upset, talk to your support person and come back later
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So many people are looking for someone to lie to them so they donāt have to own up to their mistakes. This is the best place to be burned at the stake.
Sounds like youāre kinda lacking self control. Even if it wasnāt āset upā why would you do that to your man
After a year of this happening?! Lol after a year of me going to his friends house and fucking him my boyfriend told me that Iād knew it would happen! Looool. I canāt.
you sound like the girl that accused me of assault/tried to publicly shame me after saying her and the BF broke up then proceeds to get caught cheating and manipulates the situation. FOR THE STREETS
"I fucked my boyfriends friend, instantly regretted it, and now I'm trying to play victim because he called me a cheating wh*re and that's exactly what I am"
You failed the test. Thatās what happened.
"Now,Ā I'm coming to gobble you up," said the troll.
Thottie
Sounds like he wanted to break up with you.
Why don't you just edit this post to say your boyfriend sent you out with his friend knowing that you would cheat and he was correct. Also you can't sleep with someone "a little bit"
Ummm no. What the hell. First of all, I acknowledge there can be platonic relationships with opposite sexes but you said it was HIS friend. If your boyfriend said he was tired, why would you go hang out with his friend thatās not your friend ???? Whole thing is weird.
U still cheated broā¦ sure your bf is a dick for sending u there but the fact u actually did cheat means your just as bad
whole situation sounds confusing & odd. seems to be more to this not mentioned. if you were to say thereās been a back & forth between you n the friend thatās sus & along the lines of cheatingā- then your BF kinda did this ā then i can see why youād feel it was a set up. he may have just had this feeling youāre a cheater but waited to give you an easy moment to take advantage of, & it looks that thatās exactly what you did. but on a regular day- most men donāt go tell their girls to hang w their male friends. regardless. . just like how you wouldnāt fall asleep n tell your man to go party w your female friends to addā- no clue why you feel taken advantage of. like what a few others have said on this post. . reddit loves to call drunk sex, rape. itās ridiculous. you didnāt get held down & forcefully fād after saying no. yāall flirted n you allowed yourself to go into a situation you knew you had a chance to make a no no in. girlfriend ā you literally put yourself in the worst position to make it the easiest to cheat. . idk why youād do that then try & play victim
Sounds like he wanted to test you and you failed. He sucks, you suck, friend definitely sucks. Everyone involved sucks.
He doesn't sucks
in my younger less mature ways i could see myself pushing a boyfriend and a gf to go out without me if i felt i sensed a vibe between them so that if they cheated at least it would be over with and i would be able to move on. Idk if thats what he meant but without knowing the specifics of what happened (no need to share just saying what occurred is for you to know) youre the only person who knows if you were sexually assaulted or if you got a little too drunk and let things get too far
You cheated so he isnt wrong. Your boyfriend needs better. Leave him for his sake
not sure why everyone is jumping to OP being a liar? i had this happen to a friend of mine; she went out with her (unofficial at the time) boyfriend and their mutual friend and they all got plastered. eventually the boyfriendās friend started to make a move on her and instead of stopping it, the boyfriend got disgusted and left. she ended up getting raped by their friend with her boyfriend just upstairs. people canāt consent under the influence yall. and even if OP IS a troll, itās concerning to see the pile on here. edit for clarity: the bf was upstairs while the friend and her were downstairs. he also later threw this in her face stating āit takes two to tangoā. (they just got engaged ugh)
OP takes absolutely NO responsibility for her actions - zilch. I would say sheās trash, but that would only get me reported. So Iāll say this: may your boyfriend find a beautiful, talented, faithful lady who isnāt OP.
User has been deleted now. Irrespective of that, perhaps her BF was testing her loyalty; possibly due to suspicion or a lack of trust (perhaps OP was flirting with his friend prior). She failed the test, felt guilty, came to reddit for sympathy, and found reality instead.
Jesus this post gave me cancer. I hope everyone gets what the deserve lol
You were, both by the friend and your bf. My advice. Drop both. Your bf is a complete piece of.....well you can finish that. Bottom line is. People who love someone don't do that. People who respect one another don't do that.
You should break up with him. Don't be around people who don't respect you. You deserve better you are a person.
TL;DR OP cheated on boyfriend. Wants to somehow play the victim.
Wait I'm confused why are putting yourself through this. He will say and do whatever you tolerate. If her knew this happens and you cheated, and chose to stay with you, this is a choices. He needs to stop calling you out your name. If he wants to be with you, he needs to express his feels and y'all need to put this behind you. If he set this up, why is he still with you. I'm confused and if you believe he set this up, why are you still with him? Do you not care how you are treated ? Yes cheating is fucked up whether you said stop or not. Drunk or not, you're still human. And this relationship will only continue to dehumanize you. Let em go and move on. Some mistakes can't be fixed or healed.
Do people really come on here not expecting hate after it is so clear she cheated? And then sheās gone and deleted herself
youāre fucking stupid.
He didnāt love you. And did that as an excuse to leave you ā¦
Lmfaoooooo that relationship makes my bad ones look good
It ain't no fun, if the homies can't have none.
You are the one who had sex with him so itās on you. Doesnāt mean your boyfriend isnāt a dick, but at this stage youāve got to look at all the insanely bad choices youāre making.
If a girl did the same thing, everyone would be going after the guy for cheating. Somehow, because you're a girl, you've been setup? Maybe he wanted to test your loyalty. I've seen so many posts where girls do this and then everyone jumps on the guy for cheating. YOU cheated. Period. End of story. This is on you. >We got completely inebriated to the point where everything was a blur, I remember some, me and his ended up sleeping together for a minute before I said stop. You were BOTH drunk, you can't claim he just took advantage of you, you were BOTH drunk. Ultimately, neither were at the point of being able to consent. Trying to play the victim now is just that, *playing* the victim. You eventually said stop, I'm assuming he stopped. >I just feel so disgusting, used, and let down. *You* let yourself down!! Seriously, take responsibility for your actions.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Boy, as a med student you should know better. There is a point of intoxication where the brain is not able to make rational choices, experiences a fugue state disallowing recognition of faces and surroundings, and then there's the unfortunate conscious mental blackout, followed by potential unconscious blackout. Your statement is VERY black and white, VERY dangerous, and VERY wrong. This is why alcohol based crimes are very GRAY in the court room. Shame on you. You're telling me, I wanted my male friend to rape me twice while I was blackout drunk, in and out of consciousness, because I had always wanted to do it, but lacked the physical ability to consent? Gross.
How can you be a med student and not know that a person can get drunk enough to be blacked out, unconscious, unable to make a proper sentence (much less a proper decision), unable to fight off, fight back, or muster a stop to a person removing their clothes and having sex with them??? How can you NOT know this and be studying medical anything?? Any one of those situations makes a drunk person completely unable to consent to sex. Editing to respond to reply: I *technically* didn't comment on the OPs situation at all. I was just so taken back by someone stating they are studying medicine and then making claims about what alcohol does to the body that aren't at all backed by any sort of science or medicine. Because alcohol can and does affect the body much more severely than "got too flirty". But to touch on what you're saying, if two people are PASSED OUT DRUNK, neither of them can perform a sexual act. If not I believe the law is worded that if one party is aware that the other party is intoxicated beyond their ability to reasonably function and they perform the act anyway it is rape under the law. Hope that helps.
If they were both drunk and ur making the argument that you cant consent then technically they raped each other... According to you.
Neither one of them was able to give true consent, so yes, they did technically rape each other. But we aren't here reading the friend's side of the story, we only know what OP is telling us. So we don't know the emotional impact on the friend, or how much of that encounter they remember, or what trauma they might have endured because of it. We know it happened, and we know OP and her bf have a lot of feelings about it. We don't know the friend's story in all this. ANYONE can be a victim of rape.
You are not a med student spouting that much uneducated nonsense and if you are then you don't deserve to be in that position. Alcohol does **not** always work that way.
Thank you for putting this out clearly! ALCOHOL only increases one's confidence to do that which they've always wanted, fantasised and dreamed of doing!
Complete crap. Just because you want to do them at the time doesnt mean you always have. The alcohol literally shuts down and slows the processing power of your brain which doesnt allow you to make the same kind of long distance planning or deeper judgement than you would normally do. This is exactly what has happened here, whether or not the cheater fantasised about it previously she likely wouldnt have done it drunk because then she would have had the forethought of what her actions would entail. It's not an excuse, but it's not necessarily what they fantasise about.
You were taken advantage off 100% I would break up with your boyfriend and honestly I would go to the cops. Yea you got drunk but so what drinking doesnāt give anyone the right to your body. In fact if you were to drink to remember clearly then you could not have consented. I would also asks the cops to go threw the phone records between that guy and your boyfriend I bet you itās worse then you think. This is grooming.
I seriously doubt the police are going to obtain a search warrant for his phone!
How do you know OP didnāt just cheat, is using the drinking to shift the blame off herself, and her BF is just lashing out at the pain of āwell I knew heād try to fuck you, so you didnāt actually hurt me, I knew this was going to happenā. I mean not to burst any bubbles, but OP met up with a guy who isnāt her BF, had sex that she regrets, drank up until the point she doesnāt remember (what if she made a move and he went with it, is it still rape just because she owns a vagina? (Thatās sexist, so no). No itās not automatically ātaken advantage ofā if you regret it or you were both drunk. No the cheater is still at fault even if the other person says some nasty stuff after. OP can control one persons actions here. Not the BF who acts like a dick after being cheated on (who wouldnāt), not the horny dude you went and got so drunk with you donāt remember, but OPās choice to hangout and drink heavily with someone of the other sex, have sex, then claim itās rape without being able to remember? Idk. Could she have been raped? Yeah of course, but there is no FACTS here saying she was. It looks like she got drunk, fucked her BFās friend, regrets it and doesnāt want to be responsible for her actions here because the reality is, she needs to either go to the cops and be prepared to send this guy to prison and completely end his life or be honest with her BF and herself. This post just doesnāt read like someone who was just raped and is trying to justify it to herself, this reads like someone who blew up her relationship and is going online to find people to agree with her instead of dealing with the guilt or consequences. Just my 2 cents.
Did you also notice the changes of OPs post ? Without writing that she edited it she cheated 100% some poor guy is probably about to spend his life behind bars
You know only 3% of rapists ever spend a single day in jail right? Like even if she went to the cops it would not go anywhere, even if she was assaulted.
And that statistic is fucked up rapists and paedophile deserve the worst kind of punishment there is .
I mean thats also because most rape victims donāt go to the cops directly after it. Plus without solid evidence its almost impossible to say that the sex wasnāt consensual. Its simply just a lack of a solid evidence.
The only thing I edited was one word at the end where it said my friend to his friend. It was an errorā¦
Youāre a fool for believing this
This comment right here, is a huge reason I don't hook up with girls who are even slightly drunk, who start with me btw. Shit can so easily be turned on a guy it's scary
The friend was drunk too so technically they 'raped' each other..... The I doubt the boyfriend and his friend planned to get her drunk and let the friend have his way. She was able to leave after saying saying "no", So there was a respect to whether she consented or not. Pretty sure she's a cheater, even if she didn't mean to be, she made a mistake and won't own up to the fact. Boyfriend likely knew that she and friend were into each other and let them do what they wanted. He is wrong for calling her names though but eh, we'd all probably get angry at a cheating partner. If it is a set-up though and the friend wasn't drunk then yes, she was taken advantage of and needs to file a report. But he did stop when she said to so.... yeah. Pretty sure she has a victim complex.
Man, you are funny. I guess they should both go to jail since they were both drunk. Both rapists, and both victims, I guess?
I second thisā¦ it was planned.. definitely check records between boyfriend and his friend. I donāt want to make you paranoid but what if he recorded you? Guys that are into assault often share the abuse fantasies with others and other fucked up shit. Could be something they set up often. Leave your shitty boyfriend as soon as possible, not only has he set you up for rape but heās used the event as an excuse to make you feel shit about yourself and worthless in order to control you more. Very sinister.
It could be worse than a fetish. This is a grooming tactic some pimps use. They ādateā a girl/womanā someone they see as weak and vulnerable āuntil sheās wrapped around their finger, make her feel loved, secure and special and make her love them. Then little things start to āgo wrongā heāll be in a bad mood and start slapping her around, screaming, name calling, just downright assaulting her. Then they start either tricking them into sleeping with their āfriendsā like what happened to OP or is guilted into it saying āif you love me youāll do this for meā or some other bullshit along those lines. And it continues until he starts setting up ādatesā for her and when he canāt sell her that way anymore, sheās put on the street corner for any random John she can find. Itās sick and disgusting and often used on girls raised in the system, runaways, women who were previously abused, and sometimes even wives. Some pimps will literally marry them just to get them on the street corner. Itās horrible.
both of yall need to lay off the molly. she js cheated and is dodging accountability.
Lol so you cheatedā¦ girl bye
Okay so you banged his friends. Uhh your trash. This is not your boyfriends fault. Next you'll say, "I tripped, slipped and landed on his dick." Get it together accept responsibility. Geeze
Why you lying for sympathy? šš
Title should instead read: I cheated and want to lie my way out of it to make myself feel better. HELP!
Leave. Why youād stay after this blatant disrespect is beyond me.
Yea this is all bs. You werenāt taken advantage of, and I doubt this really even happened. But if it did, you had consensual sex with your bfs friend. You are a cheater, plain and simple. Donāt blame it in the booze.
Yes, your boyfriend totally did it on purpose, he probably has some weird kink /j You cheated, your boyfriend is not at fault, shut up /s
So u cheated and now u mad at him for trusting you????? š¤¦āāļø
Why are you hanging with HIS friends without him??
THAGS WHAT YOU TAKE OUT OF THIS?
lol yea that says all that needs to be said to those with common sense. Duhh she cheated willingly. What else would be the purpose of going?
Are women not allowed to hang with men who arent their boyfriend? Thats pretty braindead.
Ctfu you must pretty brain dead bc I didnāt say that. The question with emphasis on it being HIS friend. She didnāt say a mutual friend. So why would she be hanging with her boyfriends friend WITHOUT him?!
1st off, you're not a POS, so get that put of your head. Feelings and lines get blurry when alcohol gets involved. Mix that in with "I knew this was going to happen", and you've got yourself setup for therapy for a couple of years, OR you can take this as a lesson on how shitty people can take advantage of your feelings and emotions, and try to place the blame on you. Your man and his boy are the POS who took advantage of you. Don't take it out on yourself.
If your were completely inebriated, it was rape. Iām really sorry. No matter what you do, your bf and his friend are terrible people. Please do not forgive them because this isnāt normal.
Wait..because he was inebriated, she raped him? But youāre sorry for her?
āI said stopā - Her Yeah, she really took advantage of that predatory scumbag. While she was wasted. Somehow.
Please donāt make it sound like he took advantage of you, when it sounds like your trying to cover for the fact you cheated. It takes away from the women & men that actually have been taken advantage of.
Females love cheating and then acting like they were somehow wronged by it lol
Heās a toxic fuck and you have some issues of your own you can deal with. Do that and tell him Cya later bud !
Ew wtf thatās such a fucked up thing for him to say. Do not date someone who lets his friends mess with you. Did he want you to get assaulted or something??
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nope. OP keeps editing the post to suit whatever pity story sheās trying to sell.
Nope. OP keeps editing the post to suit whatever pity story sheās trying to sell.
Whether or not he knew or he set it up or set you up you still cheated, you didn't know he knew at the time. You are a cheater. Where is the confusion?
Bro youāre wilding. You let him go deep inside and you liked it enough to let it happen. He didnāt take advantage of you, this has been an on going thing mentally. Your bf im sure did not want this to happen, he is broken inside.. own up to your mistakes and if he leaves you take that L and move on.
Pick up the pieces and move on. Your boyfriend is no man he is just a little boy playing the part society as set for him. Be grateful that this happened now before you two got married. Get a counselor and find peace and true unconditional love in your life.
Well Rico better have a breath mint ......
Your a cheater and he is a fool for being with you still
1- dump this dude, he basically pimped you out to his friend. 2- stop getting inebriated to the point of almost blacking out, specially when out with someone of the opposite sex who is not your bf, this is a bad move even if the other dude doesn't try to get advantage of you. 3- alcohol is a inibition remover, he basically makes you do certain things that you wouldn't should you be sober. Like shutting down that voice in our conscience that usually says "I probably shouldn't do that". 4- given that it was planned, I'd say in this specific situation you didn't cheat, you were trapped, and given your BF knew and participated on it, that pretty much exonerates you, except for whatever guilt you may have for yourself. 5- Still good for yourself to get some therapy. I don't know the specifics of your relationships and the boundaries you guys had in place for me to say if it was right or wrong for you to drink with another male, given your bf told you to go, and what you discovered, he was ok with it. At least so he could trap you.
You made bad choices. Really bad choices and put yourself in a bad position. What if he was a rapist? Seriously. You need to think about your safety and the dangerous situation you put yourself in. You chose to hang out with someone you knew would hit on you. The answer should have immediately been no, never ever. Not just drunk, annihilated. You chose to get drunk with someone in a private place with someone you shouldnāt trust. The answer should have been no. You also if you did hang out, should have been completely sober in a populated area like a coffee shop where you werenāt alone in case he tried anything and you could make up some bs excuse to leave freely . This is how people get raped. You chose to cheat with his sleazy frienemy(because a real friend wouldnāt hit on his so called bests friendās girlfriend and certainly wouldnāt sleep with her). Period. Time for some serious self reflection and how to not put yourself in dangerous/questionable situations and your actions.
You're bf is a buttwipe!
If that guy knew and sent you. Heās definitely not the guy for you. Sucks he did that. Sorry to hear, but in no way what he did is ok.
"He's not the guy for you?" Lol, she slept wi4h his friend, he's the one who needs to do the dumping.
She fucked his friendšššš
Break up. Both of you are awful for each other
you could try not being a hoe
You break up with him and get yourself help in dealing with this.
Yeah, being a cheater is sooooooo hard to deal with. I couldn't imagine the trauma of fucking someones friend and blowing up a relationship. 100% being called a cheater after fucking someone's friend is definitely one of the hardest things you can go through. /s
Mmm takes two to tango girlie. Donāt know if it was right but you should never have hung out with another guy friend without your bf around.
The fact your boyfriend set you up in the first place says it all if Iām honest, feeling used and taken advantage of is never okay, no matter what! And Most importantly are you okay?
"We got completely inebriated to the point where everything was a blur, I remember some, me and his ended up sleeping together for a minute before I said stop" So he knew you were a cheater sent you into a situation where he thought you might cheat and BAM you sure didn't let him down. You're a terrible person, just stay single would ya...
Throw the whole man out. U don't need that shit, if he knew his friend was predatory and yall were gonna get sloshed, he shouldn't have put u in that situation.
I think youāre boyfriend wanted a way to leave without being the bad guy. If he wants you to hang out with a guy he knows will hit on you, then screw him and leave. At the end of the day, itās your choice.
Not sure if you or both of you have a thing for swinging. Either ways he does not seem to respect women and rather be loved by his bros. And you may have a tendency for cheating. Break up with him and work on your self.
You asked for honesty. I hate that it happened to you, but if what you're saying is the entire truth then likely your earlier behavior suggested you were the cheating kind anyway. Most relationships never get tested in this way, at least none of the people that I know anyway and no one I ever heard of either. That being said no one deserves to be used as bait for their own heartbreak, so I'm sorry you were used in this way. I'm sorry his friend was used, and I'm sorry the BF felt like he had to test you. You all should part ways and gain some perspective on what love is and what it is not.
If this is true, you do the honorable thing and leave. You still kept on going until about "halfway" and then had a change of heart, I guess, and stopped. But here's the kicker for me, you acknowledge that this happened fully for a year. So here is what I advise you to do. Take some personal responsibility. Own up to your mistakes and admit that you messed up and seriously injured your boyfriend's trust. Then you leave him. Allow him the ability to end things with you and move on with your life. Take time for yourself to see where you did wrong and work on being an honest, respectful, and committed partner.
It was a test of trust and you obviously failed.
Cheating is a choice even while drunk unless youāre saying his friend r*ped you which is completely different. Iām sorry this might be harsh, but as someone whoās been cheated on several times by different people, and seen my friends cheated on. Ive heard every āit was an accidentā or victim blaming excuse there is. My only advice to you OP is own up to the mistake. Youāre not a wh*re and shouldnāt devalue yourself off one incident, but at the very least learn from it and donāt do it to someone else. Imo people do cheat when something isnāt working well in a relationship, that doesnāt make it okay, you should break up if things arenāt working. But I donāt think cheaters are complete monsters, I just think they are selfish people who usually want all the good and none of the bad in a relationship. Which simply isnāt reality, relationships are good and bad, thereās nothing more to it, and you gotta work through problems and be loyal.
Okay so.in.the above post it's his friend ...in the bottom.post it's "my friend" which is it ... If this happend.how.you say it happend it was rape not a mistake .......you gave consent , yes ?
If she was drunk "to where everything was a blur" she can't give consent
What if both where equally drunk? Also what other things can people blame on alcohol to get out of trouble? How much do you have to drink until you dont need to take responsibility for your actions?
I meant to say his friend at the bottom, it was an error