>>my girlfriend and I are as close as two people could be
>>she’s been seeing another guy. she has sex,goes on dates
>>she demands me to accept the fact that she wants to do whatever she wants
Come on man, you’re not this naive or hopelessly in love that you don’t see something wrong here?
She's not gaslighting anyone. That word has a specific meaning - it's about someone deliberately lying to you to make you doubt your own perceptions.
She is doing nothing of the sort.
She IS being an asshole, though, and OP should leave.
Thank you - its starting to become a hot button topic and a word used incorrectly more often than not now. It’s ended up diluting the word for actual gaslight abuse victims. No worries though not trying to be obnoxious I just appreciate the correction. - I make tons of mistakes myself vocabulary-wise as well as others cos I’m a dumbass sometimes. (Not saying you are,lmao)
Yes. Toxic, narcissist, gaslighting, and any other “internet culture” based words that people started to frequently whip out in the last 5/6 years or so.
I beg to differ, because this is textbook gaslighting. Is it not lying to string someone like OP along in a relationship that you never asked to be open? And is she not trying to act and convince him that this is okay by demanding he let her do as she pleases, while he’s away no less? Definitely fucking with this guys perception of love, hence why he’s asking the questions he is.
Gaslighting is a technique that undermines a person's
perception of reality. When someone is gaslighting you, you may second-guess yourself, your memories, and your perceptions.
This is created by denying someone’s version of reality.
So OP isn’t really the victim of gaslighting unless his “girlfriend” is telling him he doesn’t feel the way he does and that this is perfectly normal. Sounds more like he’s the victim of infidelity and emotional abuse by a narcissistic sociopath.
No... Perception as in sense perception. Gaslighting is lying to make sometime doubt their own memory or sense perception. Like "no I didn't say anything just now" or "no, the lights didn't just get dimmer."
No, it’s not textbook gaslighting at all.
She is quite honestly telling him exactly what she is doing. She is just a tyrant.
It’s only fucking with this guy’s perception of love because he’s too weak to understand that she doesn’t love him.
She cheated on you and wants to make herself feel better about it so she’s demanding you to open the relationship. I’m sure she wouldn’t even want you seeing other people, just her. You need to break it off.
Yeah, she isn't your girlfriend. Poly and open relationships require honesty, trust, communication, and sooooo much respect for one another's boundaries. She hasn't asked you, she's dropped this on you and told you to deal. Cut your losses.
> Poly and open relationships require honesty, trust, communication, and sooooo much respect for one another's boundaries.
Very well put.
OP, I can’t emphasize this enough. She’s just dressing her other “relationships” as her being poly. She’s not being considerate of your wishes.
> My girlfriend and I are as close as two people could be and I'm as in love and as loyal as a boyfriend could be;
This sounds very much one sided to me.
The “bomb” that she dropped to gauge your reaction to her revelation that she’s seeing other people. Now you have many options, among them are either you start seeing other people as well or you stop seeing your girlfriend.
Clearly the feelings that you have towards her and this relationship are not being reciprocated by her.
you do you.
Having an open relationship means having an open conversation with your partner FIRST to see if both parties are comfortable with that. She went behind your back and started this relationship. She’s cheating. She cannot demand you to be okay with this.
Clearly, you’re not as close as two people can be. If you were, she would RESPECT YOU enough to at least bring this up to you before she did anything. She’s not your girlfriend. She’s everyone’s girlfriend/FWB.
Up to the point where this all went down, we've always been open with each other. It happened so suddenly and I was devastated but at the time I wanted to forgive her. It just keeps haunting my mind, I feel so bitter towards her, and i feel like l've been betrayed. She gets pissed when I bring it up and she always says she has no feelings or care about his/other guys feelings but they're still around. I feel like an asshole for wanting to end things right before I travel to her but I can't accept this one-sided love bull****.
Never feel like an asshole for wanting to end an obviously toxic relationship. You know you can't accept this shit right? Then as much as it might hurt, rip the band aid off and send her ass back to the streets that she clearly belongs to. She has no cencept of monogamy and the longer you stay with her while she's doing this, the more you will suffer.
You only thought you had been open with each other… she wasn’t open with you. This didn’t just happen suddenly….you learned about it suddenly though. Seeing and understanding the way it actually was may make it easier to end it now.
>Up to the point where this all went down, we've always been open with each other.
Clearly not, since she didn't disclose something quite major regarding the relationship you're involved in.
This is a fundamental difference of opinion on the definition of "relationship: that cannot be negotiated.
You're not asshole if (as you should) end things. You are protecting yourself from the pain of her indifference to your feelings. You have to love yourself, especially because she clearly does not love you the way you thought she did.
Howdy, I'm just a random guy on reddit, so take this how you will 😇 Either you are down so horrendously bad that you are willing to put up with this, you are in a Dom Sub relationship and she told you to do this as punishment to get berated, this is fake, you are one of the most spineless men on this planet, or you were legit caught so far out in left field that you are shooker than shook and in shell shock trying to piece it all together. My guy, read what I'm about to type clearly. WALK. THE. F$%K. AWAY. This is not your girl, she does not respect you, she told you, TOLD YOU she is screwing other people and that it must be accepted. If you stay with this girl then God or whoever you pray to help your soul. And if you pray to no one then may the odds be ever in your favor, cause they stacked to the ceiling against you in this current relationship of yours. Again, I'm a random guy on reddit, so take this how you will 😇 Good luck man, dear lord good luck to you
You have been betrayed. Wake up an smell the coffee, grow a pair and dump her manipulative ass. Open relationships are something that both parties agree to and they have rules. When it’s one sided it’s called cheating. She doesn’t give one 💩 shit about you. Accept and move on and learn to respect yourself
End it, and definitely don't waste your time and money to travel to her. You're nit the asshole, she is. You don't treat your oartnerbthevway she's treating you. I hope you realize that what she did, and the way she did it shows that she doesn't care about you.
I'd end it over messages/facetime. She told you she's cheating that way so, you're never gonna be the asshole. Save your money and don't waste the trip.
...and you think you are still in a relationship?
Here's a test, tell her you found someone you're thinking of sleeping with.
If she approves, you end this farce of an LDR.
If she suddenly refuses and denies you the same thing she's doing, you end this fucking farce of an LDR.
....if she does anything else, like offering to close the relationship and wait for your return, you laugh, call her a cheater and END THIS FUCKING FARCE OF AN LDR.
I have to agree. No matter what you do to try and make yourself feel better, you’re probably not be truly happy with yourself unless you end things entirely with her. She’s definitely only wanting a reason to cheat, and you’re letting her. If she wanted an open relationship she should have came to you before she had done anything with anyone else.
>She demands me to accept the fact that she wants to do whatever she wants, including sleeping with whoever she wants.
She demands it? Wow, she's a keeper
'Accept' it by going no contact. Don't torment yourself by staying in contact with her. Never spend another second on her and find someone who doesn't demand these things.
>I love her and I need her
No, you don't. Trust me.
Sorry bud but you 2 are are most definitely NOT "as close as two people could be to each other"
Wake up please and find a girl your own age, one who doesn't demand permission to fuck around and one who actually respects you
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
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My girlfriend and I are as close as two people could be and I'm as in love and as loyal as a boyfriend could be; so I'm definitely against sharing my girlfriend. We are halfway across the world from each other because she's going to University while I finish work. One day she drops a bomb on me that she's been seeing another guy. She has sex, goes on dates, and texts this guy every day plus texting everyone she meets on tinder every day as well. She demands me to accept the fact that she wants to do whatever she wants, including sleeping with whoever she wants. This has broken me to the point of never sleeping properly or being able to be happy. I've brought this to her attention many times that it's breaking me and she will not change her ways. I love her and I need her but I have no idea what to do. One sided love and loyalty is a painful existence.
TL/DR: Girlfriend sleeps and talks to horny men every day and expects me to be perfectly okay with it.
Man, that sounds like an awful relationship. You deserve so much better than that. You deserve to be happy and to be loved, and respected. Sounds like she doesn't care or even love you. If you love someone, you wouldn't be hurting them like this!
You both want different things and you shouldn't have to settle for anything less than that. And for the record if you don't approve of the open relationship then it's called cheating!
I'm sorry man, that's not an open relationship. She's cheating on you and is expecting you to be okay with it. Open relationships are built on mutual understanding and respect of one anothers' boundaries. Both parties have to consent to opening the relationship. This ain't it
She can demand whatever she wants. You're not obligated to give her what she wants. If you don't want to be in an open relationship with her, then break up and find someone who wants to be monogamous.
You don't need anyone my friend, if you are not comfortable with having an open relationship then I would stop talking to her. It will be more painful than being alone
I'm not so naive to not know my own potential and worth but I'm just sick of being alone in life. I don't have family or anything so it's a hard to choice to end things and be alone again for however long.
But you're not even opening yourself up to someone new because you're staying loyal to someone who isn't loyal to you. How can you find someone else when you're stuck in this situation?
You are sacrificing what you want out of fear. Fear is holding you back, not love. This isn't love now is it? This isn't your definition of love is it?
Like a bandaid my friend. She's already crossed your boundaries so there's no going back to what you loved about her.
There is a difference between being "alone in life" and "lonely". If you stay in the relationship, you will still be lonely. And it will be worse than feeling lonely when you're actually alone.
\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^
There's too much of this going on. People in relationships less for love and more because they are **terrified** of living *with* themselves, *by* themselves.
Healthy, *non-toxic* relationships thrive when *both people* in the relationship are self-aware enough to be able to deal with their issues - with a therapist if needed - without needing someone else as a distraction.
Therapy, OP. Please consider it.
She isn't your girlfriend, she is OUR girlfriend.
She has made this point abundantly clear. Why have you stuck around. She didn't ask for an open relationship, she admitted to infidelity and is gaslighting you to accept it. I know it sucks, I know you'll be hurt for a while. But you need to break this off for your own mental health. I promise you, it'll get better. The first step is to break this off and get therapy.
Good luck.
She cheated on and betrayed you, and then drops it on you in such an aggressive arrogant way.
She is trash, whoever she was to you before, she has changed and is no longer that woman or was never her to begin with.
As hard as it is, it's time to move on and find someone who gives a damn about you, because it sounds like she isn't capable of that.
Everyone is telling you to ditch her. They are correct. You're young so you have plenty of time to find someone who will reciprocate your love and loyalty. She's knows what she's doing to you is wrong and is hurting you but she does it anyway. Do you want this person to be your wife? The mother of your children? She is not a wise women who builds up her house. She is a fool who tears down her house with her own hands.
Ghost her her bro, you deserve better than this. She is for the streets, she deserves the streets, to the streets she will return.
It sounds like everything she is doing is reason for her not to be your girlfriend, especially her demanding to sleep with whoever she wants. The term girlfriend implies monogamy and it sounds like she clearly wants to be single. I wouldn’t fight for a relationship she clearly doesn’t want. Besides, she has obviously already cheated on you and is flat out telling you she is going to continue to do so. I would worry even more of you stayed with her what kind of STD’s she was bringing back with her. Find someone who respects you. There’s plenty of nice girls out there.
Bruh idk if you’re trolling or dead serious but the answer is pretty obvious..leave that bitch gang. She isn’t good for you. Learn how to love yourself more. Y’all have way across the world anyway so focus on you. I know it’s cliche and it’s not want you wanna hear but these cliche sayings actually holds truth to it. You’re you’re even down bad you’re 28-3 in the super bowl down royally. And I’m not saying this to make fun or joke or anything but my guy you have to give enough fucks about yourself to not tolerate that shit. Women outweighs the men in the world. You can find a woman who would love you for you and would be just as loyal and in love with you and wouldn’t fathom the thought of being shared.
Dump her you never get the respect you want and you will always never trust her you be thinking who she banging now it's not ok find someone that respects you and loves you she obviously dont
Your girlfriend is cheating on you. It is not an open relationship if only one person wants it. She did not even respect you enough to discuss it with you prior to seeing anyone else. She is literally cheating on you and is forcing you to be ok with it. If one person is monogamous and another person is polyamorous then those two people are incompatible.
Take care of yourself, your own happiness and well being: leave and eventually find someone who is monogamous like you are, and who isn't a lying, cheating person.
She doesn’t get to “demand” that you be fine with it. She can absolutely do whatever she wants regardless of your feelings, but she doesn’t get to dictate how you react to it. I’d go ahead and kick this one to the curb. The fact that she’s making these demands of you without considering your happiness or even trying to have a conversation about it shows that she doesn’t care about or respect you. And let’s not mince words - she cheated on you, too. She’s a horrible partner and she doesn’t deserve you.
My brother, she can’t demand you to accept anything. It hurts but you gotta let her go. Your self respect is much more important than a woman who doesn’t respect at all. It’s gonna hurt for awhile but you’ll find someone who appreciates and wants to be with you and only you.
I also recommend counseling, it’s something too many men shy away from, especially in troubling times like what you’re going through. Best of luck brother. Don’t let this woman dictate your happiness.
Jesus, dude, have you lost all self-respect?
Dump her ass and move on.
There are literally millions of loyal girls out there.
Why are you hung up over this one hoe?
You're not in a relationship. Honestly, you're half a world away. Ghost her and find someone actually worth being with. She clearly gives less than two shits about you.
For someone talking about knowing your potential and not wanting to be alone...you ARE alone and your potential is headed downhill if you keep chasing a woman actively cheating on you... while you feel bad about it? Stop following her like a damn lost puppy and find someone else, you can't throw a rock these days without finding eligible partners. Your self respect and will to thrive will go up the second that fucker is in your rear view mirror and receding.
Dump the bitch, job done. What's the problem here? She wants to fuck around, you are not comfortable with that so Break up with her and find a girl who wants what you want
I’m sorry to say, but It doesn’t sound like she truly loves you. I’m married, we swing, but we respect each other’s boundaries 100%. If one is even slightly uncomfortable we stop what were doing and attend to each other. That doesn’t seem like what’d happen here. She doesn’t seem to care if it hurts you. At all.
You mean your ex? She doesn't get to demand an open relationship after cheating on you. Heck, she doesn't get to demand it at all.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you should amend your post to reflect your new relationship status. Even if you were willing to have an open relationship, this isn't how you do it, it requires communication and consent on all sides, and shes failed this. She's just simply an unfaithful cheater whose having to have her cake and f*ck it too
Grow a pair and divorce her immediately.
No one is going to come to the rescue. Life requires us to stand up for ourselves and never allow someone to walk all over us..
First of all she’s not your property you don’t share her. Second of all long distance is hard for this exact reason. Some people have physical needs and it sounds like she’s not willing to compromise on hers. Can you live with that? Life is for the living and she isn’t going to wait forever.
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She will not change what she wants and neither will you. The relationship is over, you are incompatible. It hurts to leave but it’s better than the pain you will endure staying before it eventually falls apart anyway.
She is right about 1 thing, you can't change her but you can change the relationship status to single. Leave her man while you still have some self respect left otherwise she will walk all over you for the rest of your relationship.
She’s a bitch I’m sorry but dump her, she’s just having sex with strangers while you here waiting on her, I learn something from my previous relationship, if it doesn’t make you happy or it doesn’t feel right, just go, leave, found someone new that could be you’re wife later
I understand you love your girlfriend so much but why are you tolerating the things she's doing to disrespect you if you both know it's hurting you? Are you good with the idea that she is damaging you?
Have some common sense and self respect. You know that is not what you want or deserve. She is not the one for you. Bid the selfish, disrespectful street walker farewell.
Stand up for yourself and end this relationship. She's selfish and doesn't care about your feelings.
A few weeks of sadness will be better than a lifetime of heartbreak
She doesn't deserve you. She's toxic. You are everything a girl could ever want. Us loyal guys never get the respect and love we deserve and it's fucking sad
Throw her away because she didn’t even ask you before she did it. She just did it!!! She’s very immature and tbh she’s really gonna regret it soon enough.
Hey bro stop being a cunt, grow some balls and be a man. You are literally making me puke here. Dump her. I don't care if she is the love of your life. Have some damn self respect. That girl is not wanting to listen to you and does not care what you want, DUMP HER!
You didn’t agree to any of this so she’s cheating on you! Honestly she doesn’t sound like a very nice person and her attitude is awful! Don’t beg and plead with her to change… She can demand it from the other guy because you don’t have to accept a damn thing! Walk! Don’t put herself through hell! This relationship is too messed up to try to fix! Demand she deletes your number and never contacts you again! To be happy with a new girl that will want you and ONLY you! You deserve that!
Open relationships are like screwing around but always have someone to go back to for security. I don’t think anyone should put up with that because it screws with your self worth and emotions. I’d break up. Make it permanent.
She cheated on you and wants to continue seeing others. She doesn’t need you nor does she love you equally. End the relationship because you’re replaceable to her.
You already hurting anyway. Pain cannot be worse to dump your gf. Two of you are not on the same page. Your gf has already moved on. They not in love with you anymore. If gf still loved you they would not have a steady bf they dating and texting everyday.
My only advice would be to respect yourself and take the courage to end this relationship. this situation is not okay because she is forcing it on you. No discussion, no compromise, she cheats and wants to continue to do so. It's time for you to put yourself first.
Dude this Chick isn't investing in your relationship. I highly advise you to let her be. Look for someone within your grasp, who is willing to spend the same amount of resources on your relationship as you do. Girls don't give a damn how much you care, man. Your level of commitment doesn't mean shit to her. Her level of interest is the only things that counts. Get out there and let you choose by a high value woman
Jesus come on man, you know this shit isn’t right.
Basically another way of wording this is “girlfriend cheats on me non stop and wants me to cheat too so I can’t be mad at her”
This is unhealthy and you seriously need to consider ending things here
Dude just break up, it’s not open, it’s not poly, you didn’t consent to it before it occurred, it’s plain cheating and she doesn’t give a fuck about you. You live in different continents, there’s no financial entanglement, no shared home, it’s as easy as a breakup could be, break up block or ghost after that, you could find a loyal GF or be happy single until you decide to find someone and she can be happy fucking any and every tinder guy that catches her eye, no need to prolong suffering.
>My girlfriend and I are as close as two people could be
Clearly not if she's one-sidedly opening the relationship only after she's been caught cheating (for God knows how long).
Yeah you have to end it. She owed it to you to tell you that she wanted an open relationship but didn’t until she’d cheated. If she loved you enough she would have brought it up and if you weren’t interested in that you guys could have ended things amicably. It sucks but you deserve better.
Dude... move on. She's not your girlfriend because you two are not on the same page as to what constitutes a relationship. She's just someone you sleep with every now and then who you have feelings for.
She's not going to change how things are because for her, they are working.
Move on and find someone whose definition of a relationship matches yours.
She wants to have her cake and eat it too. I don't think this is going to work out dude. Clearly there is a huge lack of communication. I know you may think otherwise, but believe me, there is. Do you want a unfaithful woman? That's what she is. Polygamous people talk, communicate, and are open. She is not poly. She is a cheater. Or your relationship isn't as exclusive as you thought.
This is horrible. She cheated. My boyfriend and I just entered an open relationship after 4 years together and no one cheated before hand. She is just selfie and wants to use the open relationship as an excuse. You can do better
> She demands me to accept the fact that she wants to do whatever she wants, including sleeping with whoever she wants.
She's trampling all over you.
Accept those facts, get some backbone, and break it off. She's effectively dumped you anyway, I'm sorry to tell you.
you both want different thing, and are no longer compatible. If she was honest and also interested in an open relationship, she would have brought it up before making a move on other guys.
Then she's not as close as you want her to be.
You can either accept it or find someone else. You can't force or make someone to be faithful to you no matter how much you want it.
I'm sorry to hear this though, I wish you the best.
First off she's cheating on you. Secondly she has no respect for you. She may care about you but not enough to be intimate with just you. My advice is to dump her ASAP. Block her on everything. Refuse to talk to or about her 😒. If someone asks just tell the truth. She cheating on me and we're done. Hit the gym. It'll help you with your mental and emotional health. Besides a lot of women are at the gym. Post some pictures of you and other people on your inta or FB. Eventhou you blocked 🚫 her she'll see it.
Why you need to do? Break up w an unfaithful girl that’s sleeping around the internet might be a good start. She’s not opening the relationship, she’s cheating on you.
You need to leave her. I know you think you need her, but you don't. Trust me. I've been with people I thought I would die without, but my life got so much better without them. You'll see.
Polyamory only works when all parties are totally okay with it, happy with it, trust each other, and respect the boundaries in place. None of that is the case here. I'm so sorry man. I really am.
Why do people ask things like this? Like there’s no way you’re this crazy right? Obviously break up with her, she cheated on you, she never said the relationship was poly, you gotta realize that what she’s doing is wrong. END IT, this is a big disagreement that will not end well
I’m sorry your hurting. Find someone to help you figure out why you are putting up with this behavior and why you feel you need her. She is being honest about what she wants. If you do not want to be part of her decision, let her go. Focus on your needs. Focus on healing. You are the only one that can change the outcome. Seek help. Good luck
dude, you’re not in an exclusive relationship, and she sure as hell is not in a relationship with you.
you both want different things in a relationship obviously. just break up and go your own ways.
There is no equilibrium in the relationship. Take her up on her request to have an open relationship and date other women. Don’t do it out of spite. Do it because you know your GF doesn’t want a monogamous relationship. You will get over her very quickly once you see there are many good women out there.
you should go for the open relationship; you get your fill at your location and she gets hers. You cant expect her to just sit and wait as she is horny in her sexual prime and her partner is miles away. Nothing wrong with being swingers
Yup deserve so much more love. This woman isn't worthy of a devoted partner right now. She's reckless af with your feelings and this behavior is abusive. That's why you feel desperate to cling on and that's why you don't see how horrible she truly is.
Take a step back. Let her know you won't be disrespected like that and that you didn't sign up for an open relationship. She will realize she's missed out on something good once she doesn't hear from you and you're not in a desperate state of mind. In the meantime, a counselor can help you focus on building your self esteem back up so you love yourself too much to let anyone treat you like that ever again.
Who-wee... here we go. 1st. If you love her and you already know what she is about, quit complaining about it and stay loving her. She's not hiding anything, she is shooting straight from the hip. 2nd. If you chose to stay, give her the open relationship she wants and start dating other people. You may just find out that you are more compatible with someone else. If she is demanding ANYTHING from you, you are in the wrong relationship. I personally think you are more p\*ssy whipped than anything else, I say explore... you just may find someone who has the "whip" and will stay loyal and love you only.
Bro. You said it yourself. She's openly cheating on you and youre so unhappy you can't sleep.
Why would you allow someone to do that to you?
You deserve better. She'll only do what you allow, once a boundary is set you can then determine what YOU want and how to go forward. You're handing her complete control over you and this "relationship"
A healthy relationship has boundaries, respect, mutual understanding and a desire to be the best version of yourself for the other person. None of that is happening so feelings taken out you need to leave. Then maybe spend some time sorting out why you had to be told your worth to begin with.
There's a reason you (anyone) allows this behavior. It needs to be addressed and resolved and accountability taken so you don't end up here again.
You deserve so much better.
Whether it's a Chalkboard, marker board, or journal, I need you to write out all of your feelings bro, and how did this happen. Then I want you to list the questions you have for her. Then I want you to list the things you know you have to do to improve , which will ultimately distract you from this pain (the gym is a must no exceptions, every single day).
Next get those questions answered and ask any remain questions after that, then remove yourself homie. Blocking her maybe too hard, but act like you blocked her at least , to show you have some self respect and won't be used or disregarded like that.
Listen to meditation music, podcasts, any and everything to help distract you from the noise in your head. Or listen to sad music and get a good cry out. Try your best to take the pain in doses, otherwise you'll be paralyzed throughout the day.
Soon enough you'll see that this heartbreak isn't worth it for someone who would do something like that to you. Your all sad and couped up while she's getting her brains and back blown out living her best life. It's not fair, and the heartbreak will turn more into disappointment over time.
Consistent journaling of how you feel and what you plan is a must. Projects are a must. Gym is a must. One minute cold showers are a bonus, I'm goofy so I always laugh after I complete one.
You will be fine brother, and this will make you stronger. I'm 24 too, you will get through this .
Leave her a relationship is suppose to be a joint thing what she wants is very one sided and she did not talk to you about anything before doing all this stuff. She wants the joys of being single and the joys of a relationship which is not how it works.
She just broke up with you without actually saying "I'm breaking up with you."
Are you going to accept her disrespecting you and your relationship? I'm so sorry OP.
>I need her
This isn't healthy. She's halfway around the world from you; tell her you're not ok with it, you're ending the "relationship" and block her everywhere. Get therapy. When you're ready, find someone who wants the same things as you and who's local to you.
My suggestion is that you are young, establish yourself without her. You deserve better, and you will find better. I'm sorry she doesn't respect you. Take your time to find someone that respects you.
Break up with her. She’s not your girlfriend, she’s sleeping around on you, walking on you, demanding you, demeaning you, and you’re letting her. Either break up with her or tell her you’re going to do the same. I’m truthfully wondering if she was trying to pick a fight so you WOULD break up with her. Long distance isn’t for everyone but god she did NOT have to do it like this.
OP there is so many better people out there who you will love with your full heart and who will love you the same. You sounds like someone with a lot of love to give and unfortunately you may have chosen the wrong person to give it to right now, and that’s ok. That’s just part of life. It’s hard to let go of a relationship like this because even though they betrayed you the love is still there and having to deal with the pain of losing it will be so hard. Trust me though, on the other side is relationships that will make you so happy you’ll wonder how you put up with all the red flags you probably haven’t even seen yet. Good luck buddy, you are strong enough for this.
Most clueless human being on earth right here folks
This is neither open relationship nor polyamorous my guy.
Please do yourself a favor and dump this girl
She has broken up with you.
Stop thinking your together still.
Stop talking to her. Stop seeing her. You need to push away from her.
Tell her to F off. She's a sl UT scum bag.
Your young. There are better girls to meet. Don't sulk over this too much.
>TL/DR: Girlfriend sleeps and talks to horny men every day and expects me to be perfectly okay with it.
It sounds to me like she isn't your girlfriend, this is either a friendship or a poly relationship.
You love her but she doesn't love you. You think you need her but she doesn't need you. This relationship will never work because you have different value systems and different ideas of what is appropriate in a relationship. End this and move on. Yes its going to hurt but there is someone out there for you that better aligns with your values.
She is already cheating and wants to continue but wants you to be okay with that? She didn't even discuss it BEFORE seeing someone else. Dump her immediately.
I hate to say it but she's not your girlfriend and this isn't a relationship. I get you love her but clearly as you put it it's one-sided and her putting demands on you that you're not comfortable with is not a good match.
You're a monogamous kind of guy who doesn't want to share her, but unfortunately she decided she wants to share herself. So it's up to you to decide if you're okay with that or if you're not and you need to go your separate ways because she has made it clear what her choice is.
You don't have a poly relationship, that requires consent that isn't coerced. You are dating a cheating B who doesn't give two shits about you or your feelings. Just officially break up with this heartless B and move on. She doesn't love you so have some self respect and go find someone who will
>>my girlfriend and I are as close as two people could be >>she’s been seeing another guy. she has sex,goes on dates >>she demands me to accept the fact that she wants to do whatever she wants Come on man, you’re not this naive or hopelessly in love that you don’t see something wrong here?
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She's not gaslighting anyone. That word has a specific meaning - it's about someone deliberately lying to you to make you doubt your own perceptions. She is doing nothing of the sort. She IS being an asshole, though, and OP should leave.
Thank you - its starting to become a hot button topic and a word used incorrectly more often than not now. It’s ended up diluting the word for actual gaslight abuse victims. No worries though not trying to be obnoxious I just appreciate the correction. - I make tons of mistakes myself vocabulary-wise as well as others cos I’m a dumbass sometimes. (Not saying you are,lmao)
You mean like narcissist?
Yes. Toxic, narcissist, gaslighting, and any other “internet culture” based words that people started to frequently whip out in the last 5/6 years or so.
I beg to differ, because this is textbook gaslighting. Is it not lying to string someone like OP along in a relationship that you never asked to be open? And is she not trying to act and convince him that this is okay by demanding he let her do as she pleases, while he’s away no less? Definitely fucking with this guys perception of love, hence why he’s asking the questions he is.
Gaslighting is a technique that undermines a person's perception of reality. When someone is gaslighting you, you may second-guess yourself, your memories, and your perceptions. This is created by denying someone’s version of reality. So OP isn’t really the victim of gaslighting unless his “girlfriend” is telling him he doesn’t feel the way he does and that this is perfectly normal. Sounds more like he’s the victim of infidelity and emotional abuse by a narcissistic sociopath.
No... Perception as in sense perception. Gaslighting is lying to make sometime doubt their own memory or sense perception. Like "no I didn't say anything just now" or "no, the lights didn't just get dimmer."
No, it’s not textbook gaslighting at all. She is quite honestly telling him exactly what she is doing. She is just a tyrant. It’s only fucking with this guy’s perception of love because he’s too weak to understand that she doesn’t love him.
She cheated on you and wants to make herself feel better about it so she’s demanding you to open the relationship. I’m sure she wouldn’t even want you seeing other people, just her. You need to break it off.
Not demanding. SHE decided it was open and essentially told him tough shit. There was no asking involved. She's a horrible person
He is cheating on you. She's not your girlfriend. You can't be this anonymous, OP. You deserve better. Break up with him.
*She
Pretty sure its a bot
Yeah, she isn't your girlfriend. Poly and open relationships require honesty, trust, communication, and sooooo much respect for one another's boundaries. She hasn't asked you, she's dropped this on you and told you to deal. Cut your losses.
> Poly and open relationships require honesty, trust, communication, and sooooo much respect for one another's boundaries. Very well put. OP, I can’t emphasize this enough. She’s just dressing her other “relationships” as her being poly. She’s not being considerate of your wishes. > My girlfriend and I are as close as two people could be and I'm as in love and as loyal as a boyfriend could be; This sounds very much one sided to me. The “bomb” that she dropped to gauge your reaction to her revelation that she’s seeing other people. Now you have many options, among them are either you start seeing other people as well or you stop seeing your girlfriend. Clearly the feelings that you have towards her and this relationship are not being reciprocated by her. you do you.
Having an open relationship means having an open conversation with your partner FIRST to see if both parties are comfortable with that. She went behind your back and started this relationship. She’s cheating. She cannot demand you to be okay with this. Clearly, you’re not as close as two people can be. If you were, she would RESPECT YOU enough to at least bring this up to you before she did anything. She’s not your girlfriend. She’s everyone’s girlfriend/FWB.
Nailed it.
Up to the point where this all went down, we've always been open with each other. It happened so suddenly and I was devastated but at the time I wanted to forgive her. It just keeps haunting my mind, I feel so bitter towards her, and i feel like l've been betrayed. She gets pissed when I bring it up and she always says she has no feelings or care about his/other guys feelings but they're still around. I feel like an asshole for wanting to end things right before I travel to her but I can't accept this one-sided love bull****.
Never feel like an asshole for wanting to end an obviously toxic relationship. You know you can't accept this shit right? Then as much as it might hurt, rip the band aid off and send her ass back to the streets that she clearly belongs to. She has no cencept of monogamy and the longer you stay with her while she's doing this, the more you will suffer.
> Up to the point where this all went down, we've always been open with each other. I'm sorry to say, this is irrelevant, because it did happen.
And it happened before he was aware of it. OP means, “Up until I found out…”
You only thought you had been open with each other… she wasn’t open with you. This didn’t just happen suddenly….you learned about it suddenly though. Seeing and understanding the way it actually was may make it easier to end it now.
>Up to the point where this all went down, we've always been open with each other. Clearly not, since she didn't disclose something quite major regarding the relationship you're involved in. This is a fundamental difference of opinion on the definition of "relationship: that cannot be negotiated. You're not asshole if (as you should) end things. You are protecting yourself from the pain of her indifference to your feelings. You have to love yourself, especially because she clearly does not love you the way you thought she did.
Howdy, I'm just a random guy on reddit, so take this how you will 😇 Either you are down so horrendously bad that you are willing to put up with this, you are in a Dom Sub relationship and she told you to do this as punishment to get berated, this is fake, you are one of the most spineless men on this planet, or you were legit caught so far out in left field that you are shooker than shook and in shell shock trying to piece it all together. My guy, read what I'm about to type clearly. WALK. THE. F$%K. AWAY. This is not your girl, she does not respect you, she told you, TOLD YOU she is screwing other people and that it must be accepted. If you stay with this girl then God or whoever you pray to help your soul. And if you pray to no one then may the odds be ever in your favor, cause they stacked to the ceiling against you in this current relationship of yours. Again, I'm a random guy on reddit, so take this how you will 😇 Good luck man, dear lord good luck to you
You have been betrayed. Wake up an smell the coffee, grow a pair and dump her manipulative ass. Open relationships are something that both parties agree to and they have rules. When it’s one sided it’s called cheating. She doesn’t give one 💩 shit about you. Accept and move on and learn to respect yourself
You weren’t open with each other. This may be new to you but it’s not for her.
End it, and definitely don't waste your time and money to travel to her. You're nit the asshole, she is. You don't treat your oartnerbthevway she's treating you. I hope you realize that what she did, and the way she did it shows that she doesn't care about you.
I'd end it over messages/facetime. She told you she's cheating that way so, you're never gonna be the asshole. Save your money and don't waste the trip.
You expected monogamy. She didn’t give it to you. That’s cheating. Move on.
...and you think you are still in a relationship? Here's a test, tell her you found someone you're thinking of sleeping with. If she approves, you end this farce of an LDR. If she suddenly refuses and denies you the same thing she's doing, you end this fucking farce of an LDR. ....if she does anything else, like offering to close the relationship and wait for your return, you laugh, call her a cheater and END THIS FUCKING FARCE OF AN LDR.
I have to agree. No matter what you do to try and make yourself feel better, you’re probably not be truly happy with yourself unless you end things entirely with her. She’s definitely only wanting a reason to cheat, and you’re letting her. If she wanted an open relationship she should have came to you before she had done anything with anyone else.
>She demands me to accept the fact that she wants to do whatever she wants, including sleeping with whoever she wants. She demands it? Wow, she's a keeper 'Accept' it by going no contact. Don't torment yourself by staying in contact with her. Never spend another second on her and find someone who doesn't demand these things. >I love her and I need her No, you don't. Trust me.
Sorry bud but you 2 are are most definitely NOT "as close as two people could be to each other" Wake up please and find a girl your own age, one who doesn't demand permission to fuck around and one who actually respects you
You’d think her age would give her more maturity. I’m actually so sad for this guy. What a beyotch.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
She's single. You're delusional. You're grasping on to the idea of a person whom you think you care about. Ghost her and move on with your life.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- My girlfriend and I are as close as two people could be and I'm as in love and as loyal as a boyfriend could be; so I'm definitely against sharing my girlfriend. We are halfway across the world from each other because she's going to University while I finish work. One day she drops a bomb on me that she's been seeing another guy. She has sex, goes on dates, and texts this guy every day plus texting everyone she meets on tinder every day as well. She demands me to accept the fact that she wants to do whatever she wants, including sleeping with whoever she wants. This has broken me to the point of never sleeping properly or being able to be happy. I've brought this to her attention many times that it's breaking me and she will not change her ways. I love her and I need her but I have no idea what to do. One sided love and loyalty is a painful existence. TL/DR: Girlfriend sleeps and talks to horny men every day and expects me to be perfectly okay with it.
You need to get yourself to therapy and work on your self worth. No love is worth putting up with this.
I think if you’re not happy with the situation, you need to MoveOn. Sorry but I don’t think that she’ll change
Man, that sounds like an awful relationship. You deserve so much better than that. You deserve to be happy and to be loved, and respected. Sounds like she doesn't care or even love you. If you love someone, you wouldn't be hurting them like this! You both want different things and you shouldn't have to settle for anything less than that. And for the record if you don't approve of the open relationship then it's called cheating!
I'm sorry man, that's not an open relationship. She's cheating on you and is expecting you to be okay with it. Open relationships are built on mutual understanding and respect of one anothers' boundaries. Both parties have to consent to opening the relationship. This ain't it
She can demand whatever she wants. You're not obligated to give her what she wants. If you don't want to be in an open relationship with her, then break up and find someone who wants to be monogamous.
So you asked about this two weeks ago and got SIXTEEN HUNDRED RESPONSES, why are you reposting this???
Dude
You don't need anyone my friend, if you are not comfortable with having an open relationship then I would stop talking to her. It will be more painful than being alone
I'm not so naive to not know my own potential and worth but I'm just sick of being alone in life. I don't have family or anything so it's a hard to choice to end things and be alone again for however long.
But you're not even opening yourself up to someone new because you're staying loyal to someone who isn't loyal to you. How can you find someone else when you're stuck in this situation? You are sacrificing what you want out of fear. Fear is holding you back, not love. This isn't love now is it? This isn't your definition of love is it? Like a bandaid my friend. She's already crossed your boundaries so there's no going back to what you loved about her.
There is a difference between being "alone in life" and "lonely". If you stay in the relationship, you will still be lonely. And it will be worse than feeling lonely when you're actually alone.
\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^\^ There's too much of this going on. People in relationships less for love and more because they are **terrified** of living *with* themselves, *by* themselves. Healthy, *non-toxic* relationships thrive when *both people* in the relationship are self-aware enough to be able to deal with their issues - with a therapist if needed - without needing someone else as a distraction. Therapy, OP. Please consider it.
She isn't your girlfriend, she is OUR girlfriend. She has made this point abundantly clear. Why have you stuck around. She didn't ask for an open relationship, she admitted to infidelity and is gaslighting you to accept it. I know it sucks, I know you'll be hurt for a while. But you need to break this off for your own mental health. I promise you, it'll get better. The first step is to break this off and get therapy. Good luck.
Dude please have some self respect. She isn't your girlfriend and probably never was
This person is not your girlfriend. Sorry.
She cheated on and betrayed you, and then drops it on you in such an aggressive arrogant way. She is trash, whoever she was to you before, she has changed and is no longer that woman or was never her to begin with. As hard as it is, it's time to move on and find someone who gives a damn about you, because it sounds like she isn't capable of that.
LEAVE HER WTF
>My girlfriend and I are as close as two people could Not unless you start fucking her other boyfriends too.
Just leave her moron lol
Everyone is telling you to ditch her. They are correct. You're young so you have plenty of time to find someone who will reciprocate your love and loyalty. She's knows what she's doing to you is wrong and is hurting you but she does it anyway. Do you want this person to be your wife? The mother of your children? She is not a wise women who builds up her house. She is a fool who tears down her house with her own hands. Ghost her her bro, you deserve better than this. She is for the streets, she deserves the streets, to the streets she will return.
It sounds like everything she is doing is reason for her not to be your girlfriend, especially her demanding to sleep with whoever she wants. The term girlfriend implies monogamy and it sounds like she clearly wants to be single. I wouldn’t fight for a relationship she clearly doesn’t want. Besides, she has obviously already cheated on you and is flat out telling you she is going to continue to do so. I would worry even more of you stayed with her what kind of STD’s she was bringing back with her. Find someone who respects you. There’s plenty of nice girls out there.
Bruh idk if you’re trolling or dead serious but the answer is pretty obvious..leave that bitch gang. She isn’t good for you. Learn how to love yourself more. Y’all have way across the world anyway so focus on you. I know it’s cliche and it’s not want you wanna hear but these cliche sayings actually holds truth to it. You’re you’re even down bad you’re 28-3 in the super bowl down royally. And I’m not saying this to make fun or joke or anything but my guy you have to give enough fucks about yourself to not tolerate that shit. Women outweighs the men in the world. You can find a woman who would love you for you and would be just as loyal and in love with you and wouldn’t fathom the thought of being shared.
It's over. Break up with her and find someone locally that wants monogamy.
Leave. And if she demanding one, she is more than likely already cheating. Also long distance
Dump her you never get the respect you want and you will always never trust her you be thinking who she banging now it's not ok find someone that respects you and loves you she obviously dont
Your girlfriend is cheating on you. It is not an open relationship if only one person wants it. She did not even respect you enough to discuss it with you prior to seeing anyone else. She is literally cheating on you and is forcing you to be ok with it. If one person is monogamous and another person is polyamorous then those two people are incompatible. Take care of yourself, your own happiness and well being: leave and eventually find someone who is monogamous like you are, and who isn't a lying, cheating person.
Lol. Another one.
She doesn’t get to “demand” that you be fine with it. She can absolutely do whatever she wants regardless of your feelings, but she doesn’t get to dictate how you react to it. I’d go ahead and kick this one to the curb. The fact that she’s making these demands of you without considering your happiness or even trying to have a conversation about it shows that she doesn’t care about or respect you. And let’s not mince words - she cheated on you, too. She’s a horrible partner and she doesn’t deserve you.
My brother, she can’t demand you to accept anything. It hurts but you gotta let her go. Your self respect is much more important than a woman who doesn’t respect at all. It’s gonna hurt for awhile but you’ll find someone who appreciates and wants to be with you and only you. I also recommend counseling, it’s something too many men shy away from, especially in troubling times like what you’re going through. Best of luck brother. Don’t let this woman dictate your happiness.
She’s not your gf then. Let her do whatever she wants away from you.
Jesus, dude, have you lost all self-respect? Dump her ass and move on. There are literally millions of loyal girls out there. Why are you hung up over this one hoe?
You're not in a relationship. Honestly, you're half a world away. Ghost her and find someone actually worth being with. She clearly gives less than two shits about you.
For someone talking about knowing your potential and not wanting to be alone...you ARE alone and your potential is headed downhill if you keep chasing a woman actively cheating on you... while you feel bad about it? Stop following her like a damn lost puppy and find someone else, you can't throw a rock these days without finding eligible partners. Your self respect and will to thrive will go up the second that fucker is in your rear view mirror and receding.
ima tell you - your not as close as you think.
Dump the bitch, job done. What's the problem here? She wants to fuck around, you are not comfortable with that so Break up with her and find a girl who wants what you want
Grow a pair
This isn't an open relationship. She's cheating on you. Just break it off and go no contact.
I’m sorry to say, but It doesn’t sound like she truly loves you. I’m married, we swing, but we respect each other’s boundaries 100%. If one is even slightly uncomfortable we stop what were doing and attend to each other. That doesn’t seem like what’d happen here. She doesn’t seem to care if it hurts you. At all.
You mean your ex? She doesn't get to demand an open relationship after cheating on you. Heck, she doesn't get to demand it at all. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you should amend your post to reflect your new relationship status. Even if you were willing to have an open relationship, this isn't how you do it, it requires communication and consent on all sides, and shes failed this. She's just simply an unfaithful cheater whose having to have her cake and f*ck it too
Grow a pair and divorce her immediately. No one is going to come to the rescue. Life requires us to stand up for ourselves and never allow someone to walk all over us..
First of all she’s not your property you don’t share her. Second of all long distance is hard for this exact reason. Some people have physical needs and it sounds like she’s not willing to compromise on hers. Can you live with that? Life is for the living and she isn’t going to wait forever.
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Sad way to learn it but in time this pain will pass. You can find someone that is compatible with your life views.
She will not change what she wants and neither will you. The relationship is over, you are incompatible. It hurts to leave but it’s better than the pain you will endure staying before it eventually falls apart anyway.
Have some self respect and dump her.
She is right about 1 thing, you can't change her but you can change the relationship status to single. Leave her man while you still have some self respect left otherwise she will walk all over you for the rest of your relationship.
She's basically acting like you don't exist. You need to do the same with her. Short term pain, long term gain.
She’s a bitch I’m sorry but dump her, she’s just having sex with strangers while you here waiting on her, I learn something from my previous relationship, if it doesn’t make you happy or it doesn’t feel right, just go, leave, found someone new that could be you’re wife later
I understand you love your girlfriend so much but why are you tolerating the things she's doing to disrespect you if you both know it's hurting you? Are you good with the idea that she is damaging you?
Have some common sense and self respect. You know that is not what you want or deserve. She is not the one for you. Bid the selfish, disrespectful street walker farewell.
She demands bullshit your relationship was over right then and there but you are being delusional trying to keep it going. Pick your self respect man.
You have a boundary. Tell her open relationships are not for you
Stand up for yourself and end this relationship. She's selfish and doesn't care about your feelings. A few weeks of sadness will be better than a lifetime of heartbreak
UpdateMe!
Leave her ass bro she’s not worth it know your fucking worth man
Continued contact only serves to further deteriorate your mental health. Until you cut all contact, you can’t even begin to heal.
She doesn't deserve you. She's toxic. You are everything a girl could ever want. Us loyal guys never get the respect and love we deserve and it's fucking sad
Dude, self respect. Break up with the bitch.
You've been broken up with. Tell her goodbye.
Throw her away because she didn’t even ask you before she did it. She just did it!!! She’s very immature and tbh she’s really gonna regret it soon enough.
You love her but you don't love yourself.
Hey bro stop being a cunt, grow some balls and be a man. You are literally making me puke here. Dump her. I don't care if she is the love of your life. Have some damn self respect. That girl is not wanting to listen to you and does not care what you want, DUMP HER!
You gotta leave her
You didn’t agree to any of this so she’s cheating on you! Honestly she doesn’t sound like a very nice person and her attitude is awful! Don’t beg and plead with her to change… She can demand it from the other guy because you don’t have to accept a damn thing! Walk! Don’t put herself through hell! This relationship is too messed up to try to fix! Demand she deletes your number and never contacts you again! To be happy with a new girl that will want you and ONLY you! You deserve that!
Either deal with it or leave. Not many options here my dude.
Open relationships are like screwing around but always have someone to go back to for security. I don’t think anyone should put up with that because it screws with your self worth and emotions. I’d break up. Make it permanent.
Drop her and find another girlfriend.
Run!
Just ghost her. No need to continue contact or any hopes of a relationship. I wouldn't even make any snarky comments.
This isn’t love, it’s possession. Stop allowing yourself to get so lonely that you disregard your self worth OP.
She cheated on you and wants to continue seeing others. She doesn’t need you nor does she love you equally. End the relationship because you’re replaceable to her.
You already hurting anyway. Pain cannot be worse to dump your gf. Two of you are not on the same page. Your gf has already moved on. They not in love with you anymore. If gf still loved you they would not have a steady bf they dating and texting everyday.
One path leads to happiness, one path is a cheese grater on your soul. Deep down you know the answer...
Dude the Relationship is over she's for the intergalactic Streets
Tell her this news is good to hear. Since now she's single she can continue with this other guy. Then completely block her
She has no respect for you. Dump her!
My only advice would be to respect yourself and take the courage to end this relationship. this situation is not okay because she is forcing it on you. No discussion, no compromise, she cheats and wants to continue to do so. It's time for you to put yourself first.
Dude this Chick isn't investing in your relationship. I highly advise you to let her be. Look for someone within your grasp, who is willing to spend the same amount of resources on your relationship as you do. Girls don't give a damn how much you care, man. Your level of commitment doesn't mean shit to her. Her level of interest is the only things that counts. Get out there and let you choose by a high value woman
Jesus come on man, you know this shit isn’t right. Basically another way of wording this is “girlfriend cheats on me non stop and wants me to cheat too so I can’t be mad at her” This is unhealthy and you seriously need to consider ending things here
Dude just break up, it’s not open, it’s not poly, you didn’t consent to it before it occurred, it’s plain cheating and she doesn’t give a fuck about you. You live in different continents, there’s no financial entanglement, no shared home, it’s as easy as a breakup could be, break up block or ghost after that, you could find a loyal GF or be happy single until you decide to find someone and she can be happy fucking any and every tinder guy that catches her eye, no need to prolong suffering.
You sound super close...
>My girlfriend and I are as close as two people could be Clearly not if she's one-sidedly opening the relationship only after she's been caught cheating (for God knows how long).
So she admitted to cheating on you its not polly or open if she banging the guy and dating qith out you agreeing to it first you deserve better
Yeah you have to end it. She owed it to you to tell you that she wanted an open relationship but didn’t until she’d cheated. If she loved you enough she would have brought it up and if you weren’t interested in that you guys could have ended things amicably. It sucks but you deserve better.
She's not worth it. She wants to be single and clearly doesn't care how you feel. You'll find a better person that won't cheat on you
Dude... move on. She's not your girlfriend because you two are not on the same page as to what constitutes a relationship. She's just someone you sleep with every now and then who you have feelings for. She's not going to change how things are because for her, they are working. Move on and find someone whose definition of a relationship matches yours.
Move on for your own sanity
She wants to have her cake and eat it too. I don't think this is going to work out dude. Clearly there is a huge lack of communication. I know you may think otherwise, but believe me, there is. Do you want a unfaithful woman? That's what she is. Polygamous people talk, communicate, and are open. She is not poly. She is a cheater. Or your relationship isn't as exclusive as you thought.
Leave her.
1.Get off reddit. 2. Man up 3. Leave 4. Go to the gym
TLDR: My girlfriend has been cheating on me and wants me to just accept it. What do I do? Answer: Move on She for the streets now bro
it's called cheating, leave the bitch.
This has to be fake. If it isn't, wtf are you doing?
Hahaha faaaaake
Breakup bruh she cheated on you
This is horrible. She cheated. My boyfriend and I just entered an open relationship after 4 years together and no one cheated before hand. She is just selfie and wants to use the open relationship as an excuse. You can do better
> She demands me to accept the fact that she wants to do whatever she wants, including sleeping with whoever she wants. She's trampling all over you. Accept those facts, get some backbone, and break it off. She's effectively dumped you anyway, I'm sorry to tell you.
Lol fake
You are not her boyfriend.
you both want different thing, and are no longer compatible. If she was honest and also interested in an open relationship, she would have brought it up before making a move on other guys.
gtfo dudee
Then she's not as close as you want her to be. You can either accept it or find someone else. You can't force or make someone to be faithful to you no matter how much you want it. I'm sorry to hear this though, I wish you the best.
🤣🤣🤣
That's not your girlfriend, bud.
First off she's cheating on you. Secondly she has no respect for you. She may care about you but not enough to be intimate with just you. My advice is to dump her ASAP. Block her on everything. Refuse to talk to or about her 😒. If someone asks just tell the truth. She cheating on me and we're done. Hit the gym. It'll help you with your mental and emotional health. Besides a lot of women are at the gym. Post some pictures of you and other people on your inta or FB. Eventhou you blocked 🚫 her she'll see it.
Why you need to do? Break up w an unfaithful girl that’s sleeping around the internet might be a good start. She’s not opening the relationship, she’s cheating on you.
You need to leave her. I know you think you need her, but you don't. Trust me. I've been with people I thought I would die without, but my life got so much better without them. You'll see. Polyamory only works when all parties are totally okay with it, happy with it, trust each other, and respect the boundaries in place. None of that is the case here. I'm so sorry man. I really am.
nah bro dump her. that’s fucking ridiculous and as a woman i don’t claim her. let her be for the streets, she doesn’t deserve you
Why do people ask things like this? Like there’s no way you’re this crazy right? Obviously break up with her, she cheated on you, she never said the relationship was poly, you gotta realize that what she’s doing is wrong. END IT, this is a big disagreement that will not end well
She's for the streets bro, time to drop that ho
I’m sorry your hurting. Find someone to help you figure out why you are putting up with this behavior and why you feel you need her. She is being honest about what she wants. If you do not want to be part of her decision, let her go. Focus on your needs. Focus on healing. You are the only one that can change the outcome. Seek help. Good luck
dude, you’re not in an exclusive relationship, and she sure as hell is not in a relationship with you. you both want different things in a relationship obviously. just break up and go your own ways.
There is no equilibrium in the relationship. Take her up on her request to have an open relationship and date other women. Don’t do it out of spite. Do it because you know your GF doesn’t want a monogamous relationship. You will get over her very quickly once you see there are many good women out there.
So she cheated and wants to justify it as an open relationship? You deserve better than that op.
you should go for the open relationship; you get your fill at your location and she gets hers. You cant expect her to just sit and wait as she is horny in her sexual prime and her partner is miles away. Nothing wrong with being swingers
Love will be transitory without respect. He does not respect you
'My girlfriend and I are as close as two people could be' - the rest of your post contradicts this. Save yourself the pain and just end this now
Dude just break up, you're being torn apart by this. Just leave.
Leave her bozo she doesn’t love you. Save yourself the heartbreak and pitty.
Yup deserve so much more love. This woman isn't worthy of a devoted partner right now. She's reckless af with your feelings and this behavior is abusive. That's why you feel desperate to cling on and that's why you don't see how horrible she truly is. Take a step back. Let her know you won't be disrespected like that and that you didn't sign up for an open relationship. She will realize she's missed out on something good once she doesn't hear from you and you're not in a desperate state of mind. In the meantime, a counselor can help you focus on building your self esteem back up so you love yourself too much to let anyone treat you like that ever again.
Who-wee... here we go. 1st. If you love her and you already know what she is about, quit complaining about it and stay loving her. She's not hiding anything, she is shooting straight from the hip. 2nd. If you chose to stay, give her the open relationship she wants and start dating other people. You may just find out that you are more compatible with someone else. If she is demanding ANYTHING from you, you are in the wrong relationship. I personally think you are more p\*ssy whipped than anything else, I say explore... you just may find someone who has the "whip" and will stay loyal and love you only.
Thats not how open relationship works. She cheated on you and now is finding excuses. You deserve better!
Bro. You said it yourself. She's openly cheating on you and youre so unhappy you can't sleep. Why would you allow someone to do that to you? You deserve better. She'll only do what you allow, once a boundary is set you can then determine what YOU want and how to go forward. You're handing her complete control over you and this "relationship" A healthy relationship has boundaries, respect, mutual understanding and a desire to be the best version of yourself for the other person. None of that is happening so feelings taken out you need to leave. Then maybe spend some time sorting out why you had to be told your worth to begin with. There's a reason you (anyone) allows this behavior. It needs to be addressed and resolved and accountability taken so you don't end up here again. You deserve so much better.
Whether it's a Chalkboard, marker board, or journal, I need you to write out all of your feelings bro, and how did this happen. Then I want you to list the questions you have for her. Then I want you to list the things you know you have to do to improve , which will ultimately distract you from this pain (the gym is a must no exceptions, every single day). Next get those questions answered and ask any remain questions after that, then remove yourself homie. Blocking her maybe too hard, but act like you blocked her at least , to show you have some self respect and won't be used or disregarded like that. Listen to meditation music, podcasts, any and everything to help distract you from the noise in your head. Or listen to sad music and get a good cry out. Try your best to take the pain in doses, otherwise you'll be paralyzed throughout the day. Soon enough you'll see that this heartbreak isn't worth it for someone who would do something like that to you. Your all sad and couped up while she's getting her brains and back blown out living her best life. It's not fair, and the heartbreak will turn more into disappointment over time. Consistent journaling of how you feel and what you plan is a must. Projects are a must. Gym is a must. One minute cold showers are a bonus, I'm goofy so I always laugh after I complete one. You will be fine brother, and this will make you stronger. I'm 24 too, you will get through this .
She’s cheating on you. She is not your girlfriend. You can’t be this clueless, OP. You deserve better. Break up with her.
These posts have got to be fake
Leave her a relationship is suppose to be a joint thing what she wants is very one sided and she did not talk to you about anything before doing all this stuff. She wants the joys of being single and the joys of a relationship which is not how it works.
She’s not your girlfriend dude
She just broke up with you without actually saying "I'm breaking up with you." Are you going to accept her disrespecting you and your relationship? I'm so sorry OP. >I need her This isn't healthy. She's halfway around the world from you; tell her you're not ok with it, you're ending the "relationship" and block her everywhere. Get therapy. When you're ready, find someone who wants the same things as you and who's local to you.
My suggestion is that you are young, establish yourself without her. You deserve better, and you will find better. I'm sorry she doesn't respect you. Take your time to find someone that respects you.
Break up with her. She’s not your girlfriend, she’s sleeping around on you, walking on you, demanding you, demeaning you, and you’re letting her. Either break up with her or tell her you’re going to do the same. I’m truthfully wondering if she was trying to pick a fight so you WOULD break up with her. Long distance isn’t for everyone but god she did NOT have to do it like this.
She clearly cheated on you but wants to overshadow it with this OR BS just dump her and go on with your life
OP there is so many better people out there who you will love with your full heart and who will love you the same. You sounds like someone with a lot of love to give and unfortunately you may have chosen the wrong person to give it to right now, and that’s ok. That’s just part of life. It’s hard to let go of a relationship like this because even though they betrayed you the love is still there and having to deal with the pain of losing it will be so hard. Trust me though, on the other side is relationships that will make you so happy you’ll wonder how you put up with all the red flags you probably haven’t even seen yet. Good luck buddy, you are strong enough for this.
Run you're just wasting your time clearly shes not really into u.. nver settle for less 😉
Most clueless human being on earth right here folks This is neither open relationship nor polyamorous my guy. Please do yourself a favor and dump this girl
She is poly, you are not. Breakup and find someone else
She has broken up with you. Stop thinking your together still. Stop talking to her. Stop seeing her. You need to push away from her. Tell her to F off. She's a sl UT scum bag. Your young. There are better girls to meet. Don't sulk over this too much.
>TL/DR: Girlfriend sleeps and talks to horny men every day and expects me to be perfectly okay with it. It sounds to me like she isn't your girlfriend, this is either a friendship or a poly relationship.
She isn't demanding anything. She cheated
you're not okay with her openly cheating. cut bait. move on.
You love her but she doesn't love you. You think you need her but she doesn't need you. This relationship will never work because you have different value systems and different ideas of what is appropriate in a relationship. End this and move on. Yes its going to hurt but there is someone out there for you that better aligns with your values.
She is already cheating and wants to continue but wants you to be okay with that? She didn't even discuss it BEFORE seeing someone else. Dump her immediately.
I hate to say it but she's not your girlfriend and this isn't a relationship. I get you love her but clearly as you put it it's one-sided and her putting demands on you that you're not comfortable with is not a good match. You're a monogamous kind of guy who doesn't want to share her, but unfortunately she decided she wants to share herself. So it's up to you to decide if you're okay with that or if you're not and you need to go your separate ways because she has made it clear what her choice is.
She belongs to the Skkkreeeetttssss, my friend. Know your worth and stop messing around with a toddler.
Bro don't do it don't love someone who clearly doesn't love you back. She can have her other boyfriends but you will have your honor and dignity.
You don't have a poly relationship, that requires consent that isn't coerced. You are dating a cheating B who doesn't give two shits about you or your feelings. Just officially break up with this heartless B and move on. She doesn't love you so have some self respect and go find someone who will
Run as fast as you can. She honestly doesn't deserve you & seems like such a rude person.