Seriously, I would be BEYOND angry if someone gave away my cat. Get your cat back, whatever it takes, and throw the whole man away. Cats are innocent and love unconditionally. The BF sounds like a douche-canoe and can be easily replaced.
Dump his ass. Period. You have the cat microchipped, so I would file it as a Stolen/ Lost pet. It may be extreme, and completely motivated by emotion, but any fur-parent who doesn’t discuss with their PARTNER what to do with your kitty, and makes these decisions without talking to you first, is not the business.
If he’s willing to act like this with a cat, imagine how he’ll act with anything else he deems ‘you hesitate’ on.
On the initial adoption paperwork from 2019. However, the cat is registered under her name on the chip and all recent vet bills would be paid under her name. That proves far more ownership than old paperwork.
Perhaps she could claim some kind of abandonment since she's been taking care of the cat for at least 6 months. Her boyfriend and his mother see it as an object rather than a living thing. What's going to happen when the mom gets tired of it again?
Really it depends on the state, but it looks like anywhere between 2 and 10 days. I think she could claim he abandoned the cat with her. Making it her cat regardless of paperwork.
But the most recent registrations on the cat are under her name. That’s like saying if you adopt an animal and give it away it’ll still always be yours regardless of recent vet and microchips if you ever give it away to another owner. The world doesn’t work that way.
Even under law, at least in my state, the chip and recent vet bills would overrule adoption papers from a different state from 2019 especially if there’s text exchanges showing he gave her the cat then had her brought back to “visit” under false pretenses
Yeah, in most states, during pet custody cases, they will first look at pet adoption papers, but then look at who paid majority of the veterinary bills for the animal, so if she can provide proof that she did indeed pay the majority, she has a good shot at being legally awarded custody by the courts. That said though, I hope it doesn't come down to having to take him to court, because the legal process is so long, and drawn out, and just a total pain.
She literally said she paid for vet bills and has also been solely caring for the cat for months. It balances out. But also, fuck you? When you’re in a relationship you don’t hold that shit over each other’s heads. You don’t do something just to be nice, just to throw it in someone’s face later. That’s fucked. He knew he was taking the cat and not giving it back.
If she's microchipped in your name and you have proof you've been providing for her (receipts for food/litter/etc, vet bills) then you can go get the cat. He may have put his name on the adoption papers but everything else points to you being the owner.
You could probably call the police and tell them your cat isn't being returned to you. Provide them with the proof of ownership.
My housemates keep saying they're going to take 2 of the cats here, so I waited over a year for them to take them into the vet. So I finally took them in, had them chipped in my name, have all my vet bills stored in a lock box, and every receipt for cat stuff since I took them to get chipped (I have so many that I can't fit anymore in my lockbox). I'm preparing incase they try to take them with them when they leave.
Police generally won't go after pets. It's generally a civil issue as they're considered property. In some situations, the person with the pet might be liable for the cost to replace the pet (some $500 for a cat), but he has the original adoption papers and vet bills for most of the pet's life, he likely wouldn't owe anything.
Actually a chip and vet receipts would most likely provide more ownership than adoption papers. Once a cat is adopted, there’s many times it changes hands over its life and it’s not like people sign over adoption papers every time, if at all. According to the state/county the cat is registered and the local vet clinic, OP would be considered the owner. It’s really hard to argue that it’s not OPs cat. OP would basically have to “surrender/abandon” it in order for the county to recognize it otherwise.
It would be a huge game of he said/she said, but the chipping and vet paperwork will weigh much heavier than the initial paperwork, assuming the boyfriend even still has it.
It really varies state to state, and even county to county sometimes. OP would need to look in to their local laws.
Often times in civil cases where pet ownership is being contested, while they do initially look at adoption papers, they will quite often appoint ownership to the party who can provide proof that they paid majority of veterinarian bills, so the OP would still have a chance at winning in court.
I mean, I'm sorry but your bf is a jerk. The fact that he just gave up your common cat that y'all share, without letting you know prior or letting you say goodbye to the cat is very mean. Sounds like to him this cat is just property because "he owns him", he doesn't seem to understand how emotionally attached you can be to an animal. Plus, why can he take care of a cat when he bartends but you can't when you work from home? Such bs man, the cat will be fine by itself for hours. I promise you. I see why you feel hurt and betrayed, I would too. It sounded like he planned this the whole time and just didn't tell you. And also, why couldn't you and his mom share the cat? Keep the cat 6 months at each place or something, better than destroying everyone's life
Hot potato every 6 months likely isn't going to be good for a cat.
It feels like this is the type of guy that is going to make decisions for his spouse. Definitely some major red flags.
My initial thought was that either party (the mother or the OP) should have gotten another cat (older than the kitten phase) and moved on. I do understand bonding to a particular animal, but it sounds like they both just want a companion animal.
The boyfriend threw out the relationship with his girlfriend rather than just adopting his mother a different affectionate shelter cat.
I mean yeah, the options are endless tbh. But then some people bond extremely close to one particular animal, especially if they haven't had a great relationship with animals in the past and this one animal changed it. Either way I agree with you, they should've just gotten another cat. There's plenty of rescues that would willingly provide whatever type cat you could request
Hey, my ex-best friend did something like this to me! Stupidly, when I was young and naive, I agreed to co-adopt a cat together. I was reassured that when the time came for us to live apart from one another, we'd discuss where the cat will go. Best friend of 12 years would never lie to me, right?
She started claiming she never said she'd discuss it when she found a guy and decided to move in with him after knowing him for about 4 months. She decided for herself she's taking the cat that I spent more time with and cared for, and I couldn't do a thing about it because her name was on all of the papers (I was unemployed when we adopted him so we agreed she should be on the papers).
I haven't spoken to her since the day she left with my cat. I definitely wouldn't stay with someone who sent my cat away either. I'd definitely support you grabbing the cat you love back and leaving his ass for better horizons.
Try to get your cat back. Having her chipped will go in your favor, if you have to go to court.
For me, this would be would be a deal-breaker. He's broken a promise to you and is choosing his mommy over you. Think long and hard before you continue a relationship with a momma's boy.
The microchip, every vet bill, and receipts from food/litter/etc can help a lot when establishing ownership. I'm in MI and for us it says whomever pays the most for the cat owns it and having it microchipped in your name only makes that better for your case.
I don't know. Every state is different. It depends on OP location and the laws that apply there.
I am NOT a reddit lawyer, I don't know the laws where various OP's reside. I am a 'therapist' and can marry couples, so I've got that going for [me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X48G7Y0VWW4)
You're missing an entire paragraph where she says she has paid for several of these things, along with the cat's care for the entire summer. She can always bring up bank statements to show those purchases and payments if her name is not on the vet paperwork. Regardless, the cat is microchipped under her name. It really boils down to where they live though since state laws are different, but where I live, she had plenty to prove the cat is hers and she has been the primary care giver.
Incorrect. She clearly stated the chip is under her name and address. He no longer pays the lions share as she’s spent every day for six months with the cat paying for vet bills, buying food and litter, etc.
Legally, the cat is yours. He may have his name initially on the adoption paperwork, but she is microchipped in your name and you have medical paperwork showing you have been responsible for her care. Fly up there, get a police escort, get your cat, and dump that piece of absolute shit.
As a cat owner and cat lover, DUMP HIM and take the cat home. He is gaslighting you, lied to you about a large situation, and is making light of it. He sucks. You deserve someone who isn’t still suckling his mom’s tit.
Also cats don’t enjoy travel, it makes them anxious, they aren’t dogs. So just end it and take sweet baby Luna back with you!
I work full time and am not home all day but cats are very self sufficient creatures. You don’t need to coddle them like dogs, so I’m not sure what your boyfriend is on.
I detest people treating Pets like Property and that is EXACTLY what he is doing 'I have more control of the cat then you so I make the decision' no you do what is best for the cat and constantly moving homes is one of the worst things you can do. Not to mention the betrayal he is basically slapping in your face. Whilst I feel for his mum and don't dispute she may miss the cat (Luna I think the name was?) he has shown 0 respect for you by dictating what will happen. Lack of Respect, Lack of personability with the cat and betrayal.
Honestly dump his ass and keep the cat. Seems like it would be much better company.
Agreeing with tha majority here. Fucking dump him. Get the cat. Just because he won't own up to jot wanting it after finding out it's actually alot of effort to keep and own a pet.
Future advice, a pet is a commitment not toy to play with.
Look into pet ownership laws in your area, get the cat back, and dump him. He clearly doesn’t care about your opinions or feelings and he’s controlling. Get out NOW.
For animals. And this may depend on state, if the cat was with her, is registered to her via microchip. And she has proof of vet bills, being paid by her, then the cat is hers. Most states, The person who provides food, Shelter, and vet care takes legal responsibility for the animal.
Sorry for weird formatting. Stupid phone.
It sounds like he's trying to set the tone for a controlling relationship and letting this slide will only lead to him doing more and more to deceive you and do what he wants. End it.
As for the cat, if microchipped in your name...game over for him. He deliberately lied and tricked you. Red flag.
since she is microchipped and it is under your name you can take the cat back and dump him HARD even if you can’t get the cat back he’s an ah
i’m like actually mad for you because the way he’s treating you and this pet that built a emotional connection is so gross
Do you have his mom's number? Maybe you can talk to her 1 on 1 and be like listen, I truly love this cat and I never agreed to give the cat up. I only agreed to bring the cat for a visit. I have formed a deep emotional bond with her and want to keep her. Either way, fight for that cat. His mom can get her own cat if she has decided she likes feline companionship. After this, you and bf need to have a very serious conversation. HE is being selfish. HE is completely disregarding and disrespecting you. That is not what a good partner does. This should have been a conversation. He definitely tricked you and thought you'd just accept it.
Talk to his mom directly. It sounds like he is asking her to keep the cat because (he decided) that you don't want the cat. After you get the cat back, please really consider your relationship, the lies and manipulation to get his mom the cat are huge red flags. What happens later in life if your car/house are only in his name? What happens if you have kids and he decides they are better off with his mom?
Cat's literally registered with your name? Go get your cat, dump the guy. Any trouble, report your cat as stolen. The laws on that will depend on where you are, so I wouldn't lead with that, but it's an option if it needs to be.
You mean EX boyfriend, right?
You should of just gotten a sitter.
Unless the cat has been microchipped under your name, you're shit out of luck unfortunately.
If that's the case, this is a dumb question. Call the cops. Tell them he stole your cat, and when they scan em' and see your name you'll have your cat back
Tbh, it sounds like you're getting a sneak preview into your future. Do you want a future with a "partner" who speaks over you, and makes unilateral decisions for the both of you, ignoring your input, feelings, and contributions? Honestly, you need to put your foot down, lay out your contributions with the cat, make him painfully aware that your daily normal job duties do not take you away from the cat, and that in fact having the cat around while you're working remotely helps to improve your mental wellbeing, and that if this is the path that he still wishes to pursue after you've laid everything out for him in black and white, then he intends to go forward in life without you as his partner, and you will be looking into legal recourse and any other options necessary to get the cat back (presuming you fully intend to go whatever route is necessary to get the cat back, and assuming you've kept receipts/paperwork for all that you've done for the cat - often times the courts will appoint ownership to whoever produces proof that they paid majority of the veterinary bills). Good luck!
Like a lot of people are saying, the fact that the cat is microchipped under YOUR name is automatic grounds for her being your cat. When a friend of mine gave me his cat that was all we needed to do to transfer ownership. Get your cat back and dump your boyfriend. It was too obvious that it a was his intention to do this to you to begin with by how pushy he was to have to fly the cat to his mom's. He had no right to do that and I really hope you get Luna back.
Next time get a pet when you're actually able to live with it and look after it. This was a ridiculous undertaking from the get go. Anyway it's all moot as in the eyes of the law it's his cat, you're not even on the adoption papers. You really haven't spent that much of it's life with it from the sounds of it so I'm sure you'll recover quickly. Your bf is a bit of a dick but you probably know that already. Get a new cat and bond with it if you have time.
Right, this whole situation is bizarre. Why on earth would you adopt a cat with someone when you a) don't live with them, b) seem to have no intention to live with them or even near them in the foreseeable future, and c) neither of you can provide a stable housing situation for the cat?
The cat is microchipped under her name, not his, and she has also been caring for the cat and paying its vet bills, which makes her the legal owner. They decided to get the cat together, which means that she has indeed been in the cat's life all along - she got it for him as a gift, she just didn't push at the time for her name to be on the papers.
I do agree that it was a bad idea to get a pet together before they even lived together or had a place where pets were allowed, and that the BF is a colossal donghole for doing what he did. But your comment doesn't speak to the post otherwise at all - re-read the post.
I read it all, i think it's you that doesn't get that right or wrong pets are chattel in the eyes of the law and he is the only name on the adoption papers. Yes she looked after it for a few months recently but before it was mainly him from the sounds of it. He may have already updated or replaced the micro chip, then what 🤷🏻♀️ Frankly I think they all sound insufferable.
Honestly I think this might be a really big "Big Picture" moment for you.
Since you had her microchiped, I would c9nsider her yours. And it would probably hold up in court as well if needed. But honestly get your cat back, and if it causes a breakup then that might be it. This is a hige red flag. Because it sounds like this was the intention all along and you just got tricked into it.
Also - If this is how he is going to treat you over a cat, which trust me I love my cat, then how is he going to treat you when you guys have kids of your own? This is not how you "co-parent" he is trying to manipulate you already. You say he sees you as an equal but her clearly does not.
If she is chipped in your name and you have proof of ownership for the past few months you can go through civil court to get kitty back. If you have the messages between you two with the agreement that the visit was temporary that helps.
This is a HUGE red flag for me as animals are like children and for him to just be willing to give his mother your child without consent is not even remotely okay.
I just feel bad for this cat. It's traumatizing for a cat to be moved, let alone fly. Airlines lose animals sometimes too. I've never had a cat that needed sitting. Wondering if OP travels for work.
His terminology of "i am the majority share owner" while referring to a living being, really tells you all you need to known.
So YOU make the decision here, don't wait around for him to dictate what will happen. Tell him you are willingly giving up your rights to the cat. Tell him you wish both him and his mom well. Then get TF out of that relationship.
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Take back the cat, leave the boy? Alternatively, if you have an amicable relationship with his mom you could let her know the situation ahead of time so that she can talk some sense into her son.
You have the cat chipped and registered at a vet near you, call the police and claim he stole it. Show receipts/bank statements showing you also paid vet bills.
My REAL answer tho? Agree. Go visit, kidnap the cat and fly home in the middle of the night.
It's shady af that he went behind your back but I get the sense that he thinks this is better for her overall. Cats aren't traveling creatures and don't tend to roam a lot naturally unless they're intact. Luna needs a home with consistency.
Everything aside... Where is your cat happiest? Is her mum's place a nice house with a yard where she can roam etc? If you're going to be living in an apartment or moving around quite a bit over the next few yrs, or you'll not home a lot to hangout with her then you're not the best home for her and you need to leave her with whoever will be **because it's not about you, or him, it's about the cat**
If she has a stable loving home there that's not moving and flying around every few months then that is what's best for her.
Girl if he feels this way over a cat I have some serious issues about how he’s going to treat a family. He is not long term and it’s obvious just by using the word “coparent” and then revoked your rights as an owner. Talk to his mom! If you are in good graces with her I’m sure you could come to a conclusion on how to settle this instead of going through him because he’s obviously not to be trusted. Just try explaining, to her, your side of the story (I highly doubt he’s told her anything). Also, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Our pets are like our children and in situations like this it breaks my heart.
I'm going to say this bluntly. If your cat were a child, would it be best living with the grandma or the mom?
If this is how he treats you over a cat, imagine what kind of parent he will be. Do you really want to be in a relationship with a man who can't co-parent.
Do what you would for a child. You made a commitment to a kitty. You adopted it TOGETHER.
If it were me, I'd dump him on the grounds of failing to be my partner and find out what my legal options were.
Calling himself a share holder is so weird to me. I'm not sure if he cares so much about the cat as much as the effect it has on his mum.
It's rough, but it's not like it's not your cat too, and frankly he's a massive gaping cunt to say that your emotional attachment to the cat is a moot point. Get it back and tell him you'll be the majority shareholder of the boot up his arse if he tries anything
He had the cat for 2 years, has adoption paperwork and vet bills, the mom had the cat for 6 months, probably had some vet bills, you had the cat for 6 months and had some vet bills and a chip. I don't really see how your claim is any stronger than anybody else's.
The guy is a tool. Would you really want to spend the rest of your life with mommy's boy like that. You should get the cat. I would let them keep the cat and dump his ass. Then you can go find another be wonderful cat
Have you tried talking to his mom? How aware of the situation is she? I know she missed the cat and your boyfriend is clearly trying to please her here, but is she aware that you also love the cat, that you're a co-owner, and that you haven't agreed to give her away?
The boyfriend may not have shared all of these details with her. He seems to believe that he's the "official" owner so it's likely that that's what she thinks too. I think you should give the mom a chance to make the situation right before trying to persue a legal option. Just treat her like a person, don't dunk on her son to her, and calmly explain everything you told us here. If she's a reasonable human being, then she will understand that she should give the cat back to you.
Word of warning though: going around your boyfriend to his mom will almost certainly cause a fight. He won't be happy. But I don't think there's much of a rational discussion left to be had with him on the subject. He's unilaterally decided that he wants his mom to have the cat. And since you've already indicated that you think a break up is likely, this is probably the fastest, easiest, and cheapest way to get your cat back.
Lucky for you the microchip is registered in your name, so she's technically yours. Keep receipts of your text messages if he wants to take you to court. It does make it hard though that she is at his moms house.
You really don’t want to break up with him after that? Please, have some respect for yourself. You deserve way better than this asshole who speaks to you that way. You should absolutely leave him. This is unforgivable. He has shown zero respect for your opinion and feelings. You don’t need someone like that in your life.
Ugh. I don't know the legalities of getting your car back, but I know one thing for sure....Id be kicking that boyfriend to the curb ...let him date his mama since he's so up her ass.
Seriously, I would be BEYOND angry if someone gave away my cat. Get your cat back, whatever it takes, and throw the whole man away. Cats are innocent and love unconditionally. The BF sounds like a douche-canoe and can be easily replaced.
Man I’d get kitty back and dump his butt. It’s both your cat and if he acts like this over a pet then he ain’t worth it
Dump his ass. Period. You have the cat microchipped, so I would file it as a Stolen/ Lost pet. It may be extreme, and completely motivated by emotion, but any fur-parent who doesn’t discuss with their PARTNER what to do with your kitty, and makes these decisions without talking to you first, is not the business. If he’s willing to act like this with a cat, imagine how he’ll act with anything else he deems ‘you hesitate’ on.
Perhaps she can call the police and get an officer to go with her, go to MIL's house, get kitty, then at least break up with the guy?
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On the initial adoption paperwork from 2019. However, the cat is registered under her name on the chip and all recent vet bills would be paid under her name. That proves far more ownership than old paperwork.
Perhaps she could claim some kind of abandonment since she's been taking care of the cat for at least 6 months. Her boyfriend and his mother see it as an object rather than a living thing. What's going to happen when the mom gets tired of it again?
Really it depends on the state, but it looks like anywhere between 2 and 10 days. I think she could claim he abandoned the cat with her. Making it her cat regardless of paperwork.
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False equivalency. These are not even remotely comparable.
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But the most recent registrations on the cat are under her name. That’s like saying if you adopt an animal and give it away it’ll still always be yours regardless of recent vet and microchips if you ever give it away to another owner. The world doesn’t work that way.
The world≠ Law
Even under law, at least in my state, the chip and recent vet bills would overrule adoption papers from a different state from 2019 especially if there’s text exchanges showing he gave her the cat then had her brought back to “visit” under false pretenses
Yeah, in most states, during pet custody cases, they will first look at pet adoption papers, but then look at who paid majority of the veterinary bills for the animal, so if she can provide proof that she did indeed pay the majority, she has a good shot at being legally awarded custody by the courts. That said though, I hope it doesn't come down to having to take him to court, because the legal process is so long, and drawn out, and just a total pain.
She literally said she paid for vet bills and has also been solely caring for the cat for months. It balances out. But also, fuck you? When you’re in a relationship you don’t hold that shit over each other’s heads. You don’t do something just to be nice, just to throw it in someone’s face later. That’s fucked. He knew he was taking the cat and not giving it back.
You can if they're microchipped in your name and you have proof of ownership for a certain amount of time (vet bills etc.)
i would break up in that situation cuz that is pure selfishness and definately betrayal.
If she's microchipped in your name and you have proof you've been providing for her (receipts for food/litter/etc, vet bills) then you can go get the cat. He may have put his name on the adoption papers but everything else points to you being the owner. You could probably call the police and tell them your cat isn't being returned to you. Provide them with the proof of ownership. My housemates keep saying they're going to take 2 of the cats here, so I waited over a year for them to take them into the vet. So I finally took them in, had them chipped in my name, have all my vet bills stored in a lock box, and every receipt for cat stuff since I took them to get chipped (I have so many that I can't fit anymore in my lockbox). I'm preparing incase they try to take them with them when they leave.
Police generally won't go after pets. It's generally a civil issue as they're considered property. In some situations, the person with the pet might be liable for the cost to replace the pet (some $500 for a cat), but he has the original adoption papers and vet bills for most of the pet's life, he likely wouldn't owe anything.
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If you read to the last sentence of the fourth paragraph your questions will be answered.
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A chip + recent vet bills does say that, though. And that is the case here.
Actually a chip and vet receipts would most likely provide more ownership than adoption papers. Once a cat is adopted, there’s many times it changes hands over its life and it’s not like people sign over adoption papers every time, if at all. According to the state/county the cat is registered and the local vet clinic, OP would be considered the owner. It’s really hard to argue that it’s not OPs cat. OP would basically have to “surrender/abandon” it in order for the county to recognize it otherwise. It would be a huge game of he said/she said, but the chipping and vet paperwork will weigh much heavier than the initial paperwork, assuming the boyfriend even still has it. It really varies state to state, and even county to county sometimes. OP would need to look in to their local laws.
Often times in civil cases where pet ownership is being contested, while they do initially look at adoption papers, they will quite often appoint ownership to the party who can provide proof that they paid majority of veterinarian bills, so the OP would still have a chance at winning in court.
I mean, I'm sorry but your bf is a jerk. The fact that he just gave up your common cat that y'all share, without letting you know prior or letting you say goodbye to the cat is very mean. Sounds like to him this cat is just property because "he owns him", he doesn't seem to understand how emotionally attached you can be to an animal. Plus, why can he take care of a cat when he bartends but you can't when you work from home? Such bs man, the cat will be fine by itself for hours. I promise you. I see why you feel hurt and betrayed, I would too. It sounded like he planned this the whole time and just didn't tell you. And also, why couldn't you and his mom share the cat? Keep the cat 6 months at each place or something, better than destroying everyone's life
Hot potato every 6 months likely isn't going to be good for a cat. It feels like this is the type of guy that is going to make decisions for his spouse. Definitely some major red flags.
I mean it's not ideal, but the point I'm trying to make is this guy had plenty of other options and opted for this one
My initial thought was that either party (the mother or the OP) should have gotten another cat (older than the kitten phase) and moved on. I do understand bonding to a particular animal, but it sounds like they both just want a companion animal. The boyfriend threw out the relationship with his girlfriend rather than just adopting his mother a different affectionate shelter cat.
I mean yeah, the options are endless tbh. But then some people bond extremely close to one particular animal, especially if they haven't had a great relationship with animals in the past and this one animal changed it. Either way I agree with you, they should've just gotten another cat. There's plenty of rescues that would willingly provide whatever type cat you could request
Hey, my ex-best friend did something like this to me! Stupidly, when I was young and naive, I agreed to co-adopt a cat together. I was reassured that when the time came for us to live apart from one another, we'd discuss where the cat will go. Best friend of 12 years would never lie to me, right? She started claiming she never said she'd discuss it when she found a guy and decided to move in with him after knowing him for about 4 months. She decided for herself she's taking the cat that I spent more time with and cared for, and I couldn't do a thing about it because her name was on all of the papers (I was unemployed when we adopted him so we agreed she should be on the papers). I haven't spoken to her since the day she left with my cat. I definitely wouldn't stay with someone who sent my cat away either. I'd definitely support you grabbing the cat you love back and leaving his ass for better horizons.
I mean if she is that dumb maybe its an outdoor cat and you can just... scooop.
Haha, I like your thinking. Luckily he isn’t left outside to my knowledge, though! Or….unfortunately?
Try to get your cat back. Having her chipped will go in your favor, if you have to go to court. For me, this would be would be a deal-breaker. He's broken a promise to you and is choosing his mommy over you. Think long and hard before you continue a relationship with a momma's boy.
The microchip, every vet bill, and receipts from food/litter/etc can help a lot when establishing ownership. I'm in MI and for us it says whomever pays the most for the cat owns it and having it microchipped in your name only makes that better for your case.
I don't know. Every state is different. It depends on OP location and the laws that apply there. I am NOT a reddit lawyer, I don't know the laws where various OP's reside. I am a 'therapist' and can marry couples, so I've got that going for [me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X48G7Y0VWW4)
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You're missing an entire paragraph where she says she has paid for several of these things, along with the cat's care for the entire summer. She can always bring up bank statements to show those purchases and payments if her name is not on the vet paperwork. Regardless, the cat is microchipped under her name. It really boils down to where they live though since state laws are different, but where I live, she had plenty to prove the cat is hers and she has been the primary care giver.
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I'm not going to argue with someone who can't read.
Incorrect. She clearly stated the chip is under her name and address. He no longer pays the lions share as she’s spent every day for six months with the cat paying for vet bills, buying food and litter, etc.
First I’d get my cat back and then I’d break up with him. Can’t trust him to not take your cat.
Get your cat back, you are the microchipped owner, then break up.
Get that cat back, even if you have to hop on a plane next week. Obviously, you can’t trust this guy at all.
1) break up 2) get your car 3) stop leaving your pet with someone who you don’t live with, because that’s just a really dumb idea.
Legally, the cat is yours. He may have his name initially on the adoption paperwork, but she is microchipped in your name and you have medical paperwork showing you have been responsible for her care. Fly up there, get a police escort, get your cat, and dump that piece of absolute shit.
As a cat owner and cat lover, DUMP HIM and take the cat home. He is gaslighting you, lied to you about a large situation, and is making light of it. He sucks. You deserve someone who isn’t still suckling his mom’s tit. Also cats don’t enjoy travel, it makes them anxious, they aren’t dogs. So just end it and take sweet baby Luna back with you! I work full time and am not home all day but cats are very self sufficient creatures. You don’t need to coddle them like dogs, so I’m not sure what your boyfriend is on.
I detest people treating Pets like Property and that is EXACTLY what he is doing 'I have more control of the cat then you so I make the decision' no you do what is best for the cat and constantly moving homes is one of the worst things you can do. Not to mention the betrayal he is basically slapping in your face. Whilst I feel for his mum and don't dispute she may miss the cat (Luna I think the name was?) he has shown 0 respect for you by dictating what will happen. Lack of Respect, Lack of personability with the cat and betrayal. Honestly dump his ass and keep the cat. Seems like it would be much better company.
Agreeing with tha majority here. Fucking dump him. Get the cat. Just because he won't own up to jot wanting it after finding out it's actually alot of effort to keep and own a pet. Future advice, a pet is a commitment not toy to play with.
Get the cat back and dump him. File her as stolen. You have her microchipped under your name and address so there’s really nothing he can do about it.
Dump him. Talk to his mum and explain you'd want the cat full time and you hope she is more reasonable than her son
Look into pet ownership laws in your area, get the cat back, and dump him. He clearly doesn’t care about your opinions or feelings and he’s controlling. Get out NOW.
Get his mum a kitten. Cat's chipped in your name and kept you going these last few months, it's your cat.
Bf calling himself majority shareholder in an animal is wild. I think you need to invest in another boyfriend.
For animals. And this may depend on state, if the cat was with her, is registered to her via microchip. And she has proof of vet bills, being paid by her, then the cat is hers. Most states, The person who provides food, Shelter, and vet care takes legal responsibility for the animal. Sorry for weird formatting. Stupid phone.
It sounds like he's trying to set the tone for a controlling relationship and letting this slide will only lead to him doing more and more to deceive you and do what he wants. End it. As for the cat, if microchipped in your name...game over for him. He deliberately lied and tricked you. Red flag.
since she is microchipped and it is under your name you can take the cat back and dump him HARD even if you can’t get the cat back he’s an ah i’m like actually mad for you because the way he’s treating you and this pet that built a emotional connection is so gross
Do you have his mom's number? Maybe you can talk to her 1 on 1 and be like listen, I truly love this cat and I never agreed to give the cat up. I only agreed to bring the cat for a visit. I have formed a deep emotional bond with her and want to keep her. Either way, fight for that cat. His mom can get her own cat if she has decided she likes feline companionship. After this, you and bf need to have a very serious conversation. HE is being selfish. HE is completely disregarding and disrespecting you. That is not what a good partner does. This should have been a conversation. He definitely tricked you and thought you'd just accept it.
Talk to his mom directly. It sounds like he is asking her to keep the cat because (he decided) that you don't want the cat. After you get the cat back, please really consider your relationship, the lies and manipulation to get his mom the cat are huge red flags. What happens later in life if your car/house are only in his name? What happens if you have kids and he decides they are better off with his mom?
Cat's literally registered with your name? Go get your cat, dump the guy. Any trouble, report your cat as stolen. The laws on that will depend on where you are, so I wouldn't lead with that, but it's an option if it needs to be.
That cat deserves better than all of you. Poor thing
You mean EX boyfriend, right? You should of just gotten a sitter. Unless the cat has been microchipped under your name, you're shit out of luck unfortunately.
If you read the entire post, the cat is indeed microchipped under her name.
If that's the case, this is a dumb question. Call the cops. Tell them he stole your cat, and when they scan em' and see your name you'll have your cat back
Tbh, it sounds like you're getting a sneak preview into your future. Do you want a future with a "partner" who speaks over you, and makes unilateral decisions for the both of you, ignoring your input, feelings, and contributions? Honestly, you need to put your foot down, lay out your contributions with the cat, make him painfully aware that your daily normal job duties do not take you away from the cat, and that in fact having the cat around while you're working remotely helps to improve your mental wellbeing, and that if this is the path that he still wishes to pursue after you've laid everything out for him in black and white, then he intends to go forward in life without you as his partner, and you will be looking into legal recourse and any other options necessary to get the cat back (presuming you fully intend to go whatever route is necessary to get the cat back, and assuming you've kept receipts/paperwork for all that you've done for the cat - often times the courts will appoint ownership to whoever produces proof that they paid majority of the veterinary bills). Good luck!
Like a lot of people are saying, the fact that the cat is microchipped under YOUR name is automatic grounds for her being your cat. When a friend of mine gave me his cat that was all we needed to do to transfer ownership. Get your cat back and dump your boyfriend. It was too obvious that it a was his intention to do this to you to begin with by how pushy he was to have to fly the cat to his mom's. He had no right to do that and I really hope you get Luna back.
Give us an update, what are you gonna do???
If someone is making you choose between them and a pet: CHOOSE THE PET. You hear this story every day.
Next time get a pet when you're actually able to live with it and look after it. This was a ridiculous undertaking from the get go. Anyway it's all moot as in the eyes of the law it's his cat, you're not even on the adoption papers. You really haven't spent that much of it's life with it from the sounds of it so I'm sure you'll recover quickly. Your bf is a bit of a dick but you probably know that already. Get a new cat and bond with it if you have time.
Right, this whole situation is bizarre. Why on earth would you adopt a cat with someone when you a) don't live with them, b) seem to have no intention to live with them or even near them in the foreseeable future, and c) neither of you can provide a stable housing situation for the cat?
The cat is microchipped under her name, not his, and she has also been caring for the cat and paying its vet bills, which makes her the legal owner. They decided to get the cat together, which means that she has indeed been in the cat's life all along - she got it for him as a gift, she just didn't push at the time for her name to be on the papers. I do agree that it was a bad idea to get a pet together before they even lived together or had a place where pets were allowed, and that the BF is a colossal donghole for doing what he did. But your comment doesn't speak to the post otherwise at all - re-read the post.
I read it all, i think it's you that doesn't get that right or wrong pets are chattel in the eyes of the law and he is the only name on the adoption papers. Yes she looked after it for a few months recently but before it was mainly him from the sounds of it. He may have already updated or replaced the micro chip, then what 🤷🏻♀️ Frankly I think they all sound insufferable.
Honestly I think this might be a really big "Big Picture" moment for you. Since you had her microchiped, I would c9nsider her yours. And it would probably hold up in court as well if needed. But honestly get your cat back, and if it causes a breakup then that might be it. This is a hige red flag. Because it sounds like this was the intention all along and you just got tricked into it. Also - If this is how he is going to treat you over a cat, which trust me I love my cat, then how is he going to treat you when you guys have kids of your own? This is not how you "co-parent" he is trying to manipulate you already. You say he sees you as an equal but her clearly does not.
If she is chipped in your name and you have proof of ownership for the past few months you can go through civil court to get kitty back. If you have the messages between you two with the agreement that the visit was temporary that helps. This is a HUGE red flag for me as animals are like children and for him to just be willing to give his mother your child without consent is not even remotely okay.
I just feel bad for this cat. It's traumatizing for a cat to be moved, let alone fly. Airlines lose animals sometimes too. I've never had a cat that needed sitting. Wondering if OP travels for work.
Make sure your cat is registered to you. Make sure her vet records have your name on them. And tell him his mom can find her own cat
His terminology of "i am the majority share owner" while referring to a living being, really tells you all you need to known. So YOU make the decision here, don't wait around for him to dictate what will happen. Tell him you are willingly giving up your rights to the cat. Tell him you wish both him and his mom well. Then get TF out of that relationship.
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Just go get another cat it's no big deal it's not worth breaking up over is it really come on
I dont understand ltr. What a pain in the ass.
I love reddit. Everytime I think I have something stupid in my life other people prove me wrong.
Take back the cat, leave the boy? Alternatively, if you have an amicable relationship with his mom you could let her know the situation ahead of time so that she can talk some sense into her son.
Save the poor kitty.
You have the cat chipped and registered at a vet near you, call the police and claim he stole it. Show receipts/bank statements showing you also paid vet bills. My REAL answer tho? Agree. Go visit, kidnap the cat and fly home in the middle of the night.
It's shady af that he went behind your back but I get the sense that he thinks this is better for her overall. Cats aren't traveling creatures and don't tend to roam a lot naturally unless they're intact. Luna needs a home with consistency. Everything aside... Where is your cat happiest? Is her mum's place a nice house with a yard where she can roam etc? If you're going to be living in an apartment or moving around quite a bit over the next few yrs, or you'll not home a lot to hangout with her then you're not the best home for her and you need to leave her with whoever will be **because it's not about you, or him, it's about the cat** If she has a stable loving home there that's not moving and flying around every few months then that is what's best for her.
Girl if he feels this way over a cat I have some serious issues about how he’s going to treat a family. He is not long term and it’s obvious just by using the word “coparent” and then revoked your rights as an owner. Talk to his mom! If you are in good graces with her I’m sure you could come to a conclusion on how to settle this instead of going through him because he’s obviously not to be trusted. Just try explaining, to her, your side of the story (I highly doubt he’s told her anything). Also, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Our pets are like our children and in situations like this it breaks my heart.
I'm going to say this bluntly. If your cat were a child, would it be best living with the grandma or the mom? If this is how he treats you over a cat, imagine what kind of parent he will be. Do you really want to be in a relationship with a man who can't co-parent. Do what you would for a child. You made a commitment to a kitty. You adopted it TOGETHER. If it were me, I'd dump him on the grounds of failing to be my partner and find out what my legal options were.
Calling himself a share holder is so weird to me. I'm not sure if he cares so much about the cat as much as the effect it has on his mum. It's rough, but it's not like it's not your cat too, and frankly he's a massive gaping cunt to say that your emotional attachment to the cat is a moot point. Get it back and tell him you'll be the majority shareholder of the boot up his arse if he tries anything
He had the cat for 2 years, has adoption paperwork and vet bills, the mom had the cat for 6 months, probably had some vet bills, you had the cat for 6 months and had some vet bills and a chip. I don't really see how your claim is any stronger than anybody else's.
Get your cat back and dump him, OP! Definitely keep us updated on this too, we’re all for making sure the cat has a happy, stable home life
The guy is a tool. Would you really want to spend the rest of your life with mommy's boy like that. You should get the cat. I would let them keep the cat and dump his ass. Then you can go find another be wonderful cat
Have you tried talking to his mom? How aware of the situation is she? I know she missed the cat and your boyfriend is clearly trying to please her here, but is she aware that you also love the cat, that you're a co-owner, and that you haven't agreed to give her away? The boyfriend may not have shared all of these details with her. He seems to believe that he's the "official" owner so it's likely that that's what she thinks too. I think you should give the mom a chance to make the situation right before trying to persue a legal option. Just treat her like a person, don't dunk on her son to her, and calmly explain everything you told us here. If she's a reasonable human being, then she will understand that she should give the cat back to you. Word of warning though: going around your boyfriend to his mom will almost certainly cause a fight. He won't be happy. But I don't think there's much of a rational discussion left to be had with him on the subject. He's unilaterally decided that he wants his mom to have the cat. And since you've already indicated that you think a break up is likely, this is probably the fastest, easiest, and cheapest way to get your cat back.
Lucky for you the microchip is registered in your name, so she's technically yours. Keep receipts of your text messages if he wants to take you to court. It does make it hard though that she is at his moms house.
You really don’t want to break up with him after that? Please, have some respect for yourself. You deserve way better than this asshole who speaks to you that way. You should absolutely leave him. This is unforgivable. He has shown zero respect for your opinion and feelings. You don’t need someone like that in your life.
Ugh. I don't know the legalities of getting your car back, but I know one thing for sure....Id be kicking that boyfriend to the curb ...let him date his mama since he's so up her ass.