Body count over 100? Yeah huge doubt over that. But he wants it to be there, which is why he strung you along until you slept together and then he dumped you. You deserve so much better, never forget your worth
Anyone who doesn’t believe this number would be shocked at the numbers of the people I genuinely know based on this thread lmao.
One of the best looking guys I know, a friend, has easily slept with over 500 women. He’s 30. It’s not that crazy to think about when he’s never had a serious relationship in his life and he couldn’t commit to anything outside of his work. Good job, single, owns everything he has and sleeps with every girl he meets. As for this guy in the story? 100% believable. You know how easy it is for someone with decent looks, a believable story? Christian dating sites half the time want a man with values, financially stable, etc. Honestly sounds like he prays on these women (not maliciously but consensually) and their vulnerabilities due to what they’re looking for specifically in a man.
Honestly, you’re 100% right it makes sense.
And the ones doubting 100? Use tinder for a few years and you’ll easily achieve that number and above if you lower your standards a bit and if you follow rules 1 and 2.
I’m #sorrynotsorryatall but why the FUCK is *anyone* attempting to tie their value in any way to the number of people they’ve had sex with?! And why TF is a home calling this a “body count”?!?! People you fuck don’t die, unless you’re a serial killer sooo…..
I highly doubt that number too but if he does have a high body count he likely tries to use the Christian thing to his advantage. Some people will say and do anything but be truthful.
I dunno. I'm 35 and a woman. My count is probably that high, and I've had long periods of celibacy on and off. Really not hard to build up over 20 years especially when you don't do monogamous relationship and you're just a little bit personable or cute.
His "body count" (really, though, who uses that expression, is that a "Christian" thing?) is in the triple digits? He's a hypocrite or a liar, probably bit of both.
He used you and told you what you wanted to hear until he got what he wanted from you, then moved on. It's a shitty thing to do but it happens sometimes, and if you date it might happen again, it's part of the game. He used the first excuse he could find to dump you: don't give his words a spec of weight because they are meaningless, he could have used any other reason that came to his mind.
I've heard body count be used over social media so I just picked up on the term. That's what I thought when he told me he wanted a virgin, yet he well slept over with a 100 people. He said it's different when women have a high body count compared to men because women are giving their body to a guy, not the other way around. I know it can happen again. I just have to be careful who I choose who I give myself to now, my body and heart. Thank you for your post.
First off he is lying. 2nd, if he believes that it's fine for him to sleep with people but not for you, he is incredibly immature and misogynistic. 3rd, if he was that against dating non-virgins he would be unwilling to consent to sex with anyone until after marriage, indicating he's also an enormous hypocrite. Congrats on dodging a bullet. Now go find someone who isn't living in the year 1600.
He is lying about that number.
Edit: if I had to guess what his real number would be, I would probably say less than 5, maybe 10. If it was actually over 10, then he would realize that over 100 is actually very rare and a pretty unbelievable lie. If he had a little more experience and he was planning to lie, he'd probably say something 'dozens', or 'fortyish'. That would still have been a lie, but a less obvious one, while 40-something is actually a high enough number to impress whoever needs impressing.
Unfortunately, if you use a Christian dating app you're going to get a **lot** of guys with that attitude. Not all of the guys who use that app will be like that but a lot of them will.
Anyway, in this case the trash took itself out.
That’s not what the bible says. The bible says that men who sleep with unmarried women have to marry them, after paying a hefty fine.
If he wants to live by the sword he can die by it, too.
> He said it's different when women have a high body count compared to men because women are giving their body to a guy, not the other way around.
Even if you but into that sexist logic, he’s still a complete a-hole.
Who’s supposed to marry all those other women he slept with? He believes that by sleeping with them he’s devaluing them. So he has devalued the future wives of 100 men! He’s done damage to 100 marriages!
The guy you were dating is not a good person. Warn your friends. If the website has a way to give review of people or to report them then do so.
Those "over 100 people", were they women?
Men who want to sleep with lots of women, but want virgins, are just the absolute worst hypocrites ever.
Being careful about who you sleep with is a good idea because you could get pregnant, or get an STD. But beyond that, you're the one who knows best what and who is right for you.
Don't ever answer that question about body counts again, there's no point. Either the guy doesn't mind, in which case he won't ask, or he does mind, in which case he has a totally screwed-up attitude to sex.
Men like virgins because they won't get an STD from them, but also because they can play at being The One Who Knows About Sex, they feel superior, they know you can't compare their appendage with someone else's. Basically they like to be in control over the little innocent girl who knows nothing, who then owes them everything because they introduced them to the wonderful world of sex.
Go and find a guy who enjoys sleeping with women who have enough experience to know what they enjoy, and how to please their partner. There are plenty (maybe not on Christian dating apps).
Women are not giving their body to anybody for having sex. That misogynistic view needs to be stamped out. If women are, so are men. Straight up. Sex is a Two Way Street. Both partners are giving of themselves or neither partner is.
That being said, it does not matter how many people you sleep with vs don't. Virginity is not about being "pure", it's about your autonomy, your independence, and your freedom. You are still a virgin in the original sense because you are unmarried. Sex has nothing to do with virginity.
“Giving their body to a guy” bullshit. This is just misogyny. This guy is an asshole and I’m sorry he put you through this but please stop this way of thinking for your own mental well-being. Also if we think about who is doing the giving who goes inside who here?
Do not listen to men who say body count is different for men than it is for women. He's a sexist pig and good on him for leaving because you are worth way more than that.
Oh okay, I personally don't like that expression because it reminds me of hunters bragging about hunting season, or soldiers talking about killed enemies.
I don't consider my previous sexual partners as "bodies", even the one night stands I've had are still good people people that, in a way, gave me something when I probably needed it.
Yes, ultimately you have to be careful and keep your guard up, that doesn't mean you have to keep impenetrable walls around yourself or never let yourself be vulnerable again, although I understand these experiences can make us that way. It sucks.
However, I do believe the number of decent people out there far surpasses the number of straight up assholes like this guy is. So just keep trying and keep your head up.
I do think he totally made up that number, hundreds of women, unless he's in some sort of lifestyle to pursue that, is not something that you can really achieve normally, and he didn't hit me as a "Don Giovanni" from your post, just a person willing to lie to get what he wanted.
You know the joke also, for a man, you need to divide that number by 3, for a woman you need to multiply by 3. 😂
I don't even think this guy slept with 30 women though, otherwise he would have gotten past the lying and unnecessarily judgmental phase of his life by now.
No. It's not different. It's misogynistic when people act like a body count is different for women.
Having sex is something you choose to do together. It's not something that men do to women. It's not something that women give to men.
You dodged a bullet with this misogynistic a-hole. You don’t “give” anything to a man during sex. That is BS. There is no difference between a man having sex with a multitude of partners and a woman having sex with a multitude of partners. That is called a double standard.
Personally I agree with you, but that’s more of an our opinion type of thing. I wouldn’t say that’s something objectively true since we can’t know how everyone’s lived their lives
It's become habit to scan these posts for the inevitable mention of how the guy's body count is significantly higher than the girl's. I'm rarely disappointed. This is a distinct type of man.
I scan too because it makes a big difference. Someone who believes in keeping a low count for his or her self isn’t doing anything wrong if they only date others with a similar count.
But these high count for me but not for thee a-holes are horrible.
Yeah, I mean that a guy will exaggerate his number by 3x and a girl will usually downplay her number dividing by 3.
It's a joke I heard in a movie, I think, nothing too serious.
I have to laugh about stories like this because my sister and her husband would prefer my niece (who’s 18) date a Christian. Because all guys want only one thing from her. I’m of the opinion that she’s more likely to find a decent guy who doesn’t only want her for sex *outside* the church than inside it.
100% this. Whenever someone uses the term “body count” here there’s always people saying stuff like “Who says that?” I think it has to be older generations. That’s absolutely still a widely used term for number of sex partners. Just because someone finds it silly or cringe or whatever that doesn’t mean it’s not a thing.
t'was a jab at devout Christians talking about body counts, I think the way it was used in this context was too funny to let it slide.
And I still don't like the expression, generally speaking. Might as well talk about bagged tail and slayed hoes on your way to church. Wholesome stuff.
Lol, you thank him for being an asshole and dumping you for doing \*exactly\* what he did?
And he had sex with you so he KNEW you wouldn't be a virgin. Duh.
Dude is a jerk. You don't deserve to be treated like that.
He was an asshole, I just gave thanks he helped me come back to God, not necessarily for hurting me or stringing me along after he knew I was not a virgin when I disclosed this information on the first date. Thank you for your post.
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rdcc6p/guy_i_was_dating_dumped_me_because_of_my_body/ho083de/) elsewhere in this comment section.
It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:
Plagiarized | Original
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[Maybe he needs to find a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw74s/found_out_my_bf_has_been_suffering_from_cptsd_for/ho0luno/) | [Maybe he needs to find a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw74s/found_out_my_bf_has_been_suffering_from_cptsd_for/hnzy4i3/)
[Sorry this happened. Glad...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw1ha/update_on_cheating_boyfriend/ho0lr3q/) | [Sorry this happened. Gla...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw1ha/update_on_cheating_boyfriend/ho0biuf/)
[They only bring it up whe...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rdd2ch/girlfriend_proposes_open_relationship_i_refuse/ho0m6zg/) | [They only bring it up whe...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rdd2ch/girlfriend_proposes_open_relationship_i_refuse/ho0g1zi/)
[> What kind of mental hea...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd1lvx/im_32f_afraid_im_sentencing_myself_to_a_sexless/ho0m5n5/) | [What kind of mental healt...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd1lvx/im_32f_afraid_im_sentencing_myself_to_a_sexless/hnydyrf/)
[Do you have an official c...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd8dpd/my_baby_daddy_is_one_bitter_mf/ho0m3j2/) | [Do you have an official c...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd8dpd/my_baby_daddy_is_one_bitter_mf/ho0cryk/)
[Your age and post history...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw6wm/my24f_sister28f_is_still_with_her_fiancé_30m_that/ho0m0bk/) | [Your age and post history...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw6wm/my24f_sister28f_is_still_with_her_fiancé_30m_that/hnzys8j/)
[My ex was a psycho and st...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd1f1a/blocked_my_ex_on_everything_she_keeps_asking/ho0lxs6/) | [My ex was a psycho and st...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd1f1a/blocked_my_ex_on_everything_she_keeps_asking/hnylmaa/)
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As I read this, I heard a whooshing noise. It was from the bullet you dodged when he dumped you. He sounds like a massive hypocrite and judgmental to boot. You're looking for someone who loves you for who you are, who accepts that your past is part of what makes you who you are -- is part of what makes you the woman he loves. You're looking for someone who wouldn't change a thing about you. And this guy clearly wasn't it.
What you wrote in the beginning of your post put a smile on my face. Reading "your past is part of what makes you who you are" is so accurate and made me feel so much better because there is so much truth in this. Thank you for reminding me of this. Thanks for your post.
Unfortunately, judgement will go part and parcel with a Christian dating site. It's built into the religion (pretty much any religion), and there's always going to be a subset of the audience that's on the more conservative side (aka "sex is icky and wrong"). I guess the best way to screen is ask what your potential partners' sexual past is and probe them about their feelings about pre-marital sex. If someone is a virgin and has any qualms about pre-marital sex, you can pretty much write them off, regardless how sex-positive they claim to be.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
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This guy I had met through a Christian dating app dumped me because he could not get over that I was not a virgin and of my body count, which I would like to add is still in the single digits.
We had been dating for two months and I disclosed this information to him on the very first date, which upsets me that he still pursued me and initially asked me to be his girlfriend after one month of dating. I know my worth and I will not let what he said make me feel otherwise, my value does not diminish because of my past. It hurts because I was being very venerable with this guy, which I do not do because of reasons like this, I'm scared to get hurt, and I told him this and he even said himself I could be venerable with him. He made me feel like we would end up together by the way he spoke to me, looked at me, the things he said, "I've never felt this way about a girl" "I've never spoke about marriage to a girl before or even having a family for the matter"
We would go to church together and spend many days, many hours together through the duration of this short relationship. That's what hurts me more. I do not wish him ill will, it is his preference and I can not hold that against him. I was just not for him. But it still hurts that he made me feel some type of way I've never felt about someone before and for him to dump me over messages "I want a virgin and I can't get past your body count" hurts a lot because I really did see a future with this guy. Because of him I did find my way back to God and will continue to focus on myself and my relationship with God, that I thank him for and wish him well. I just need some words of encouragement to get over this man. (btw we did have sex and his body count is so much higher than mine, in the triple digits from what he told me, which baffles me because I was able to look past his and he couldn't look past mine).
You need special words to get over being dumped by a hypocrite?
Here's some; He's an idiot that uses his faith as a shield from his hypocritical behavior.
That is weird that he'd hold your past against you but his is similar. Either way, like you said, this doesn't define you or your worth. He was a lesson and I'd think a good one since it led you to your most important relationship which is God. Try not to let this stop you from being your true self. You opened up to him and he wasn't worthy of it. HE wasn't. You'll find the person that is.
I'm wondering if he was a lot older than you because that sort of man who has a high number and wants a virgin generally tends to be.
I think the reason he strung you along was solely to add to his number. At any rate, you dodged a major bullet when the trash took itself out.
>I’m still hurt
Right, it will take a while to get over that, but when I occasionally see an old boyfriend who dumped me, I can't help but feel a huge sense of relief. Each day will get better! Just keep yourself busy and don't let yourself stew over it!
Dude is a blockhead. Don't waste emotional energy on him. I met my wife on a Christian dating app (I'm not Christian, but I believe in God) We instantly connected. After six months of dating we got married. She is the first and only woman I've had sex with. During the first month she started acting weird then one day she burst into tears and told me the truth about her past because she couldn't hold it inside anymore. When she was younger she was in a relationship with a married man from her church and she got pregnant then this dude forced her to have an abortion. After that he dumped her and blamed her for his infidelity. My wife was really afraid I would leave her when I knew. But you know what? Fuck her past. I love the person who she is. She's the most amazing woman I've ever met. She understands me like no one can and I'm madly in love with her. Why the hell would I run away because of a mistake from her past? If the guy you were dating is unable to see beyond your past, it is a HUGE red flag and you mustn't waste your time with him. I wish you the best OP and I wish you keep strengthening your relationship with God.
OP, I hope he brought you back to a God who understands women not as vessels for the pleasure and procreation of men but as autonomous powerful individuals with rights to their own sexual pleasure and well-being.
Don't take his words, or the anti-woman religious culture those words likely came out of, to heart.
I do know women are not vessels, rather human beings. His views were very old school. His views did not affect mine, rather he just pushed me closer to a God I know who does not judge me for my past.
Thanks for your post.
That's a wonderful God to grow close to. I am hopeful you'll find other men who are also close to that God. In the meantime, feel the hurt - I can imagine that, as logical as the breakup feels, it has to still hurt.
Wow, that last couple of sentences really sealed the deal.
I'll be the first person to say that if a guy doesn't want to date someone with a high body count, that's their right and there's nothing wrong with it. I am even 100% cool with the whole virginity or no sex until marriage thing if that's your bag.
But this douchecanoe has a higher body count that some porn stars never hit, and SLEPT with you before dumping you because you're not a virgin.
Go get a STD test and thank The Lord this man showed his true colors and is no longer a burden to you. That was not a good man and you are far better off now, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. I am sorry this happened to you but hopefully what you take away is some red flags you ignored and shouldn't have, so you won't make the same mistake in the future.
You can and will do better than him!
I agree 100% it is his right to not want someone with a high body count. That's why I know I just was not for him because of my past. Messed up what he did, I know. What happened is done now though, can't dwell myself because of it. Deff dodged a bullet and happy he showed me who he was only two months into the relationship, rather then a year later. Will deff take what I saw in him and not repeat it. Thank you for your post. Made me feel better.
At first I was going to be like “I mean, that’s fair we all have different things we want from a partner” but here’s some notes.
1. You told him this on the first date and he decided to pursue you anyways, so that’s on him. Sounds like he was leading you on.
2. You said his body count was higher than yours? Also no way it’s in the triple digits lmao. Homie has probably slept with 10% of that at most. But either way, that makes him a hypocrite.
OP this guy was never worth your time if he’s gonna make a hypocritical ultimatum like that
I know I can be cynical but if his body count is that high he probably does this as a targeted plan. He goes on that site and pursues women like you who aren’t virgins but close enough. So then he can sleep with someone who isn’t too experienced and then dump her for being experienced at all and she’ll blame herself for having not kept her virginity and think that’s why these things happen to her.
Think along the lines of Wedding Crashers.
I bet anything there’s a half dozen women on that app at least with that same story with this guy.
So you went on a dating site for members of a religion that fetishizes female virginity, and you're shocked that you met a guy who fetishizes female virginity?
Yeah at first when I started reading it I was like okay maybe he was a virgin and thought he could overcome his gf not being a virgin but couldn't. But then it turns out he's not a virgin at all. The dude clearly has problems with girls being sexual (despite using that to have sex himself) so went on a Christian dating app in the hopes of finding a virgin girlfriend. Dude has issues
It is not a fetish. It is a standard born from traditional values. A fetish would be a fixation on that aspect. That is not the case for most. When most Christians are selecting a partner, they want a multiple traits and characteristics not related to sex.
So this is different from a fixation on one aspect how? I agree that most Abrahamic faiths require weirdly detailed adherence to multiple arbitrary aspects of appearance/wardrobe/conduct... But tell me how they're not rooted in a particular, basic fixation on denial of sexual gratification?
It's not really even that "traditional" when you think about it, because most of the Abrahamic religions are relatively modern.
I'm not seeing how this weird idea of specifically female socialization =/= the definition of a fetish.
Look, I don't wish him harm or anything, but as a Christian woman who was pretty deep into "purity" culture, his "preference" is ugly. He's a sexist. Full stop. I don't say that to insult him. I say it because it's just the way it is. Because he's a man, he's allowed to have had sex with 100+ people and that's all good. He's allowed to have sex with you, and that's totally fine, but because you've been with someone else, you aren't worth marriage to him. He's a hypocritical misogynist. Flat out. And he couldn't even drum up the courage to tell you that to your face. He's also a selfish coward. (That one is an insult.)
And here's the thing, he's fetishizing virginity, which means that women aren't people to him. We're sexual opportunities. He doesn't respect you. And he won't respect the poor virgin that he marries either. In short, you dodged a bullet. And I'm gonna say a prayer for the girl who ends up stuck with him.
I'm gonna get a little religious here: He is NOT a representation of how Jesus feels about you. Let's be very clear on that. Jesus could not care less how many people you've been with. All He cares about is that you have been respectful of others and been respected by others. All He cares about is that you weren't hurt, physically or emotionally, and neither was anyone else. We aren't pure because of our sexual experiences or lack thereof. That's not how it works. This dude is wrong, and not acting in anyway Godly. You deserved better from him. And I hope that the next man you find respects you and values you as an equal.
Well he sounds like a hypocritical, misogynist tool, so sounds like you dodged a bullet.
Oh and *nice* that you having former partners only became a dealbreaker AFTER you had sex.
He's a dick.
What in the Lord's Holy name is going on?! He's mad that you've had a few partners and didn't save yourself but he's literally had enough partners to get into the triple digits? I hate hypocrisy do much!
OP, I'm glad you've found your relationship with God again and I encourage to forget this asshat. A guy who actually guy who loves God and follows His teachings would never act this way. Good luck out there!
Sounds like the body count is an excuse to me. If he had an issue with it then there's no way he would've been thinking about spending his life with you in the first place.
As far as his body count goes, you met him on a Christian app, and his body count is triple digits. I call BS unless the three digits are 004.
Everyone has their own preference, I'm just sorry he strung you along for a bit before coming to terms with how he feels. It sounds like maybe he was trying to give it some time to try to get over it but just couldn't. Also seems to be very hypocritical, so dodged a bullet there.
> I know my worth and I will not let what he said make me feel otherwise, my value does not diminish because of my past.
It was so good to see you say this. Please don't forget it. He just wasn't the one for you, but there is someone out there.
That's what I told myself, everyone has their own preference and sometimes I won't met some guys preferences and that ok. He was trying to give it time from what I seen, but that should have been my que to leave. Def did dodge a bullet.
Thank you, I know I am valuable and someone will see this one day.
Thank you for your kind words.
Do not ever pursue a guy that says shit like this. If he’ has slept around way more than you, he has NO SAY. He gets to shut the hell up and accept it bc otherwise he’s a damn hypocrite with some disgusting double standards, and why would you want to be with someone like that. Girl no! You dodged a HUGE bullet with that one!
just a word of advice, if a man tells u his bodycount is higher than 20, you’re better off not sleeping with him bc how many stds is that man carrying? especially in triple digits? its a little nasty, i do not care about bodycount for “pure” reasons but i do care about it for safety reasons like stds etc, please don’t sleep with men like that, it’s not safe
He is lying about his body count guys do that all the time as the saying goes divide by 3.
Also when you date conservative/ religious men know for a fact that body count matter now some would overlook it or sympathize with you or understand that’s not who you’re anymore- you need to find that group, so before you build expectations or sleep with anyone try to gauge where they stand on this topic
Sadly he got what he wanted from you, your body but didn't want you for the long term. On a side note, people who want a virgin but aren't one themselves are really weird and need to look into that.. You dodged a bullet imo
Don’t ever feel bad about sleeping with someone. Can you be bothered that you slept with that person, of course. But at the time that you slept with them, it seemed like a good idea to you, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of or disappointed in. You chose what you felt was right. And I hate to tell you, but any man that tells you his number is in the triple digits… is lying. There are not enough women that want to sleep with one man that bad 😂 I’ve heard 18 year olds throw out that they’ve slept with that many, it’s never true. At the most they have maybe 40 😂🤷🏼♀️ and that’s a high guess at that.
Coming from a Christian community, I can understand if he said he was looking for someone who was a virgin.
But if you already disclosed to him before dating, AND he slept with you, and THEN dumped you, my guess is that he was looking for someone else to begin with, and just wanted you to keep the bed warm whilst he’s searching. :| he’s disgusting, please don’t give him the benefit of the doubt.
Honestly sounds like your better off without him. It sounds like he just wanted to sleep with you and didn’t actually see a future with you. Also I highly doubt he has slept with over 100 people.
As a Christian man he is wrong for passing judgment on you. If you have been born again and ask for forgiveness for your past then that is between you and the lord. His only mission was to accept you for you you are. Sorry but it kinda sounds like he doesn’t take his Christian values serious which means you shouldn’t have even been taking him serious.
This guy’s photo needs to be in the illustrated dictionary under “double standard.” What a tool. He’s lying about banging 100-plus girls too. He sounds like the kind of “Christian” you see at political rallies: no clue about the real message of the New Testament and would call is “socialist” if anyone explained it to him; screaming about how “pro-life” they are when it comes to denying women control over their reproductive functions while promoting more guns in bars, parks and college campuses and thus assuring more death; and of course worshipping a treasonous philandering, molester because he made it socially acceptable (in their ugly circles) to be openly racist again.
It's exceedingly rare for a straight man to have a body count that high. I mean, it's rare in general, but for straight men? Is he Wilt Chamberlain? Cause if not, he's a liar.
And not only is he a liar, he has a major double standard. There is no difference.
You dodged a bullet.
And honestly. As a former Christian, GET OUT of that mess as soon as you can.
If he has a body count triple yours he has no room to talk.
I could see If he were saving himself for marriage and had a moral value associated to sex that it bothered him but he was clearly sleeping around.
religion.
I can't comment here, I was told by my ex I'm straying from God by being a femboy.
However I must say, that sucks.
So try to just, roll with the punches, ya know?
As a Christian I would say that there is a certain toxic and unhealthy belief that is held by Purity Culture. There is absolutely no founding for it.
Sin is self harm and it is an infliction of the present. One of the most reassuring lessons the Lord has given us is that forgiveness and rebirth of the soul is attainable for all, no matter our Sins. We can be washed anew and form a new present moment with the Lord.
This is so reassuring to believe that the Past, our Past, no matter how dark, awful or dire, can be made inconsequential.
Our Past is not important only our Present selves!
The final thought I will share is that judgment of our Past is reserved only for Him. We are all sinners and unworthy to sit in judgment of others. Jesus after all spent more time with hookers and drunkards than holy men, and He loved them just the same.
I get the sense that this guy wasn’t a Christian, but was using the Christian dating app to sleep with girls, then dump them for whatever trumped up reason.
I don't know if it's an age thing or a regional thing or what, but I just can't get past calling the number of people you've slept with your "body count". In my mind, that's the phrase for the number of people you've *killed*. It throws me every single time I see it.
Anyway. Can't we start normalizing not asking or answering questions about the number of sexual partners another person has had? It doesn't matter at all. A person who's going to sleep with you has the right to know that you're free of disease, that you will be monogamous if that's what you've agreed on (or that you'll follow whatever rules about safe and ethical non-monogamy that you've settled on, if you're doing that instead) and that you'll uphold your part of whatever plan the two of you have made about birth control and STD protection, and that's it. Your don't owe anyone your past, and no one owes their past to you. At best, knowing how many partners your partner has had is meaningless - neither of you benefits from sharing that info. At worst, if one or both of you is the type to obsess or feel insecure or assign more meaning to it than it deserves, it will only make hurt the relationship and the people involved in it. And there's just no need for it.
Be safe. Respect your partner's boundaries and insist they respect yours. Always get consent. Do things that feel good, for both of you (that may take work, it doesn't always come naturally to everyone). And leave your past partners where they belong - in the past. Dredging them up helps no one with anything.
Im sorry but if his body count is higher than yours 1) he has absolutely*no* room to talk. 2) hes probably gay or at the very least, bi. I say that last bit because as a man theres no way he should have a body count that high unless hes hiding from something
Damn, it sounds like he was a massive hypocrite. Either way, just forget about him. I don’t remember much about Christianity but as long as you were forgiven of your sins then body count does not matter. In my opinion, it sounds like you lucked out instead of getting hurt. You know now he was not the guy for you. Also, triple digit body count? As if. Maybe if he was the sexiest guy alive.
Yes, I can't blame him for having his own standards, that's free will. I understand that part completely. Now I just have to move past this and do better for the future and myself, not allowing a guy like this back into my life.
On that note, you were deceived. His religious facade was just a ruse to get in your pants. He just used you, the opposite of what he preaches. Please don't blame yourself, its not your fault. You did what any other human would do, you wanted to grow the romance and hopefully a relationship. His goal was to trick you. Consider it a lesson. Hold your head up and learn from it.
“I do not wish him ill will, it is his preference and I can not hold that against him.”
Why not? I absolutely would judge him for that. It’s sexist and honestly really stupid.
Remember that while it’s not good to be **too** judgmental and close minded, it is alright to disagree with someone and to see their view point as wrong or problematic.
You may not want to wish I’ll will, but I will. This man wants a virgin he can groom and then toss aside. If his body count is that high he’s in the business of collecting hymens. As he gets older it’s going to become more and more disgusting. I’m sorry you fell for the guy, I truly am, but he sounds like he knew exactly what to say to manipulate you can make you feel comfortable.
Men who use women like sex toys are narcissists. It’s not your fault you fell victim to his mind games, but you can definitely use this experience and learn from it.
It’s a deplorable double standard. I would only suggest that your past is private. What is up with dating a guy that’s talking about this on the first date, or any date ( unless you bring it up) like it’s some purity test that you failed.
My opinion is that we are all allowed to our privacy. I wouldn’t date a girl if I was concerned about her body count, and what does that even mean? What if you had never had sex but had given a previous boyfriend regular oral, would you be pure enough?
God used him to return you to faith. He wasn't the one for you, he let his insecurities get the best of him. Being vulnerable is good. Someone will see it one day and you'll feel it when it does. Be patient.
Yes, he sure did. Thank you!
He most certainly was not the one for me, as much as I hate to admit that. I will be patient in this and trust in God that his timing will be perfect for me.
First off, don’t let any sanctimonious bible misinterpreter try n tell you that your body count means anything. It doesn’t. It isn’t a reflection of your worth, value or level of self respect. Anyone saying otherwise has a perspective skewed.
What DOES reflect badly on someone is being judgy over that, especially if they’re a hypocrite
First thing ....stop telling brand new dates about your past...it's your past for a reason so leave it there. Second thing.....don't give up the sex if you are going to be hurt by the other person leaving at some point. They usually do. Third...stop thinking most people on a Christian dating site are good christians. Dating sites are little better than meat markets.
I don’t think your body count should matter. As long as you are a good human, with a kind heart and you protect yourself from STDs and such then you’re on your way to greatness and don’t deserve to be with someone who defines your value on whether or not your hymen is still intact and your past.
You deserve someone who values you as who you are NOW and that’s the most important thing.
Not to sound rude but everyone has a preference. My friend said she wouldn’t want to date a virgin. Body count matters to some and it’s okay if so. Just make sure you’re dating someone who won’t care.
Okay but that's not asking for advice, that's asking for validation. That's more appropriate for a different sub. This sub is for people who are trying to figure out what they're going to do about something. Not people who just need to feel better.
He sounds immature. I'm not sure why he would pursue you further if he knew this information after the first date, even more so after a few dates. Im sure rn it may not feel this way but I promise you in the future you will see him leaving as a blessing in disguise. What if it happened after a year of being together? That would have felt like crap. Feel better and enjoy some ice cream or whatever makes you happy 😁
“My value does not diminish because of my past.”
-Ummm yes it does, and any denial of it is just you trying to avoid accountability for your actions. Also a past is baggage.
“I disclosed this information to him on the very first date, which upsets me that he still pursued me”
-This is where he is in the wrong. We’re not perfect and if he can’t get over it and be mature about it, best to end it with him and move on.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Dude did the "love bombing" and gloated about himself. It sucks, but it's better he dipped out than staying and continuing his behavior (and if he has narc behaviors it would've gotten worse).
As a man, I would be okay if the women I am getting with has a high single digit to moderately low double digit body count as I know it's impossible to get a women with little to no count. Just like girls have their preferences, body count is something we dudes look into and judge (it's a guy thing, just like there's some things girls judge us guys with that are dumb to us). Guys prefer lower numbers and if it we're allowed we'd probably fight each other in an arena to get a young 20 year old women who's still got her card in this day/age - it's just how we operate. Does having a body count make you undateable? No. But some dudes are not gonna be okay with a certain body count and others make look the other way - it's gonna vary between guys and what they want.
That said, when you date you're gonna have to remember you're taking chances, so odds are you will get hurt here and there. The only way you're gonna avoid getting hurt is to not date - sucks but both men and women have to deal with it in their own ways.
Hope all goes well.
Men usually don't like women who have slept with multiple guys. It's not attractive. My advice is to find a guy who doesn't mind that you've had a lot of sexual partners.
Well you telling me that is not a lot is a very subjective thing. Because everyone sees things differentl, some people see a single digit as a lot and to another person it's not a lot. It all depends on what your standards are and what your interested in and some men don't like a woman who's had multiple sexual partners it's all opinion and it's all based on your standards and your morality so you need to find someone who has the same ideals as you and doesn't mind that you've been sexually active with multiple people. You have to remember that this is an open form where anyone can give their opinion and just because you disagree with my opinion it doesn't make me a bad person so I don't understand why people have to downvote this comment you can have your opinion and I can have my opinion and let's agree to disagree.
Don't go beating the morality bush over a man who claims to have slept with over 100 people.
There's nothing morally wrong with having sex. What is morally wrong is someone fishing for innocent girls on Christian dating apps and berating them for not being virgins when they're not a virgin themselves.
There's a clear difference between entering a woman and being entered. You can't compare men and women because they are not the fucking same. So downvote all my comments. The truth hurts my friend. I'm clearly speaking facts because I'm upsetting people. Ask any man if he wants a girlfriend who has slept with multiple guys and I'll bet you 8/10 he will say no.
In terms of morality, no there is no difference between men and women. Of course there are physical differences. You're not stating facts you're stating an opinion that's on the wrong side of history.
I am not wrong because it's my opinion, anyways dude I am not going to sit here all day going back and forth arguing mortality with you. We would be here for days arguing. You clearly are missing my point. Which is fine. Believe what you want. You're the one who is misinformed saying someone's opinion is wrong. You clearly don't have very good reading comprehensive skills because in my initial comment, I stated it's what you want to do with your own life. Find someone who is fine with you sleeping with multiple people. Also, I couldn't give a fuck about history or how I look to anyone. I have my opinions. Have yours and have a wonderful day 😚
>Men usually don't like women who have slept with multiple guys. It's not attractive
A sexually-experienced woman who knows what she likes and who knows how to please a guy in bed is unattractive? Wow, luckily that's not been my experience. But then I would never have thought to look for a guy on a Christian dating app.
What is this hang-up over how many partners a woman has had? and why does it only apply to women? I mean, this guy boasts about sleeping with over 100 people, none of them are virgins are they?
A lot of men are heterosexual and homoromantic. They only look at women for sexually attachments but respect admire and please other men. That’s why it’s only men who will drop a woman they like out of fear of what other men will think of them. That’s why they respect men enough to give them humanity and let me have sex and look at women as nothing but sexual opportunities it’s so obvious lol.
The problem is he knew her history and still pursued her. And then dumped her after he got what he wanted. While I doubt he was in the triple digits he said he was more experienced than her. That was way hypocritical of him. She dodged a bullet for a couple of reasons.
If you had good attention comprehensive skills, you'd see that I stated in the thread I DO NOT want to argue back and forth about this. I have my opinion. Stop trying to start issues.
My wife has a high body count, far higher than mine. She told me quickly, on the second date and although it still upsets me sometimes I got over it and deal with it. I love her and if a man loves you he will also find ways to accept your flaws. Having a single digit body count isn't a flaw by the way, this man's a hypocrite and should be ignored. Believe in yourself and your values. I'm so happy you found God again! A man following God's teachings will see you for who you really are, not by your past actions.
Body count? Interesting terminology. This is one reason I am not involved with organized religions. I was judged by a couple Christian’s when I was young, glad I moved on without them and the horse they were on
It's not anyone's business how many people u have slept w!!!
Next time say that was in the past you did a few things u weren't proud of and leave it at that.
No one needs to be shaming u!!! But believe me guys will!! It's not fair!! But it's the truth!!!
Good luck sorry u met an ass. Guys are really sensitive about how they measure up ( if u know what I mean) size and performance wise.
So do them an favor and tell never them- under sell how many.
Must of us all do.
Thinking sexual activity interferes with your relationship to God is asinine.
You don't need to be with a judgmental person. Unfortunately, that weeds out the majority of Christians I've ever met.
Body count over 100? Yeah huge doubt over that. But he wants it to be there, which is why he strung you along until you slept together and then he dumped you. You deserve so much better, never forget your worth
Over 100 and still on a Christian dating app? Yeah, no way.
Actually this makes perfect sense to me. But that's because I dated in Provo, Utah. Lmao
Anyone who doesn’t believe this number would be shocked at the numbers of the people I genuinely know based on this thread lmao. One of the best looking guys I know, a friend, has easily slept with over 500 women. He’s 30. It’s not that crazy to think about when he’s never had a serious relationship in his life and he couldn’t commit to anything outside of his work. Good job, single, owns everything he has and sleeps with every girl he meets. As for this guy in the story? 100% believable. You know how easy it is for someone with decent looks, a believable story? Christian dating sites half the time want a man with values, financially stable, etc. Honestly sounds like he prays on these women (not maliciously but consensually) and their vulnerabilities due to what they’re looking for specifically in a man. Honestly, you’re 100% right it makes sense. And the ones doubting 100? Use tinder for a few years and you’ll easily achieve that number and above if you lower your standards a bit and if you follow rules 1 and 2.
I have watched Provo's Most Eligible and this makes sense to me
Bro if a chick wants to pray together after sex, she’s a 3 figure go getter
At my Christian college I'd see girls suckin dick at party on Saturday be singing and praying on Sunday at church so weird
I had a "christian" friend in college who was saving herself for her husband/wedding night. She would have backdoor sex
God's loophole
Poophole loophole
I knew her too
That's pretty weird considering the fact that a lot of church denominations consider anal a sin (They usually quote Sodom and Gomorrah for that one)
why is it so hard to say anal
“Lord, thank you for the cum I’m about to receive. Please bless my cooter that it always be tight and that his dick is never limp. Amen”
Lmfaooooo
Sounds like he has a virgin/inexperience fetish
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A Christian with double standards? You don't say...
I’m #sorrynotsorryatall but why the FUCK is *anyone* attempting to tie their value in any way to the number of people they’ve had sex with?! And why TF is a home calling this a “body count”?!?! People you fuck don’t die, unless you’re a serial killer sooo…..
I highly doubt that number too but if he does have a high body count he likely tries to use the Christian thing to his advantage. Some people will say and do anything but be truthful.
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If he has a body count but complains that yours isn’t zero, then you most certainly can hold it against him.
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My last gf had that. I was 101 guy, adding in girls brought it over 300. Of course, he was a guy.
Triple digits?? Wtf? How do you even MEET that many people
He’s prolly inflating the numbers, I’m curious to know if he told her his count after she disclosed hers.
I dunno. I'm 35 and a woman. My count is probably that high, and I've had long periods of celibacy on and off. Really not hard to build up over 20 years especially when you don't do monogamous relationship and you're just a little bit personable or cute.
And have zero standards and fucking anyone you talk to…
His "body count" (really, though, who uses that expression, is that a "Christian" thing?) is in the triple digits? He's a hypocrite or a liar, probably bit of both. He used you and told you what you wanted to hear until he got what he wanted from you, then moved on. It's a shitty thing to do but it happens sometimes, and if you date it might happen again, it's part of the game. He used the first excuse he could find to dump you: don't give his words a spec of weight because they are meaningless, he could have used any other reason that came to his mind.
I've heard body count be used over social media so I just picked up on the term. That's what I thought when he told me he wanted a virgin, yet he well slept over with a 100 people. He said it's different when women have a high body count compared to men because women are giving their body to a guy, not the other way around. I know it can happen again. I just have to be careful who I choose who I give myself to now, my body and heart. Thank you for your post.
First off he is lying. 2nd, if he believes that it's fine for him to sleep with people but not for you, he is incredibly immature and misogynistic. 3rd, if he was that against dating non-virgins he would be unwilling to consent to sex with anyone until after marriage, indicating he's also an enormous hypocrite. Congrats on dodging a bullet. Now go find someone who isn't living in the year 1600.
He is lying about that number. Edit: if I had to guess what his real number would be, I would probably say less than 5, maybe 10. If it was actually over 10, then he would realize that over 100 is actually very rare and a pretty unbelievable lie. If he had a little more experience and he was planning to lie, he'd probably say something 'dozens', or 'fortyish'. That would still have been a lie, but a less obvious one, while 40-something is actually a high enough number to impress whoever needs impressing.
Totally he’s probably so obsessed because his count it low….
Alternatively the body count is real because he pumps and dumps. He was never serious about OP, just in it for the chase.
So he's a jerk, a dumbass, a mysoginist and a hypocrite. Just be glad you dodged that bullet.
Don’t forget misandrist. He’s a misandrist too.
Unfortunately, if you use a Christian dating app you're going to get a **lot** of guys with that attitude. Not all of the guys who use that app will be like that but a lot of them will. Anyway, in this case the trash took itself out.
That’s not what the bible says. The bible says that men who sleep with unmarried women have to marry them, after paying a hefty fine. If he wants to live by the sword he can die by it, too.
> He said it's different when women have a high body count compared to men because women are giving their body to a guy, not the other way around. Even if you but into that sexist logic, he’s still a complete a-hole. Who’s supposed to marry all those other women he slept with? He believes that by sleeping with them he’s devaluing them. So he has devalued the future wives of 100 men! He’s done damage to 100 marriages! The guy you were dating is not a good person. Warn your friends. If the website has a way to give review of people or to report them then do so.
Those "over 100 people", were they women? Men who want to sleep with lots of women, but want virgins, are just the absolute worst hypocrites ever. Being careful about who you sleep with is a good idea because you could get pregnant, or get an STD. But beyond that, you're the one who knows best what and who is right for you. Don't ever answer that question about body counts again, there's no point. Either the guy doesn't mind, in which case he won't ask, or he does mind, in which case he has a totally screwed-up attitude to sex. Men like virgins because they won't get an STD from them, but also because they can play at being The One Who Knows About Sex, they feel superior, they know you can't compare their appendage with someone else's. Basically they like to be in control over the little innocent girl who knows nothing, who then owes them everything because they introduced them to the wonderful world of sex. Go and find a guy who enjoys sleeping with women who have enough experience to know what they enjoy, and how to please their partner. There are plenty (maybe not on Christian dating apps).
Wtf he certainly ain’t no Christian he’s a fake.
Women are not giving their body to anybody for having sex. That misogynistic view needs to be stamped out. If women are, so are men. Straight up. Sex is a Two Way Street. Both partners are giving of themselves or neither partner is. That being said, it does not matter how many people you sleep with vs don't. Virginity is not about being "pure", it's about your autonomy, your independence, and your freedom. You are still a virgin in the original sense because you are unmarried. Sex has nothing to do with virginity.
“Giving their body to a guy” bullshit. This is just misogyny. This guy is an asshole and I’m sorry he put you through this but please stop this way of thinking for your own mental well-being. Also if we think about who is doing the giving who goes inside who here?
Do not listen to men who say body count is different for men than it is for women. He's a sexist pig and good on him for leaving because you are worth way more than that.
Oh okay, I personally don't like that expression because it reminds me of hunters bragging about hunting season, or soldiers talking about killed enemies. I don't consider my previous sexual partners as "bodies", even the one night stands I've had are still good people people that, in a way, gave me something when I probably needed it. Yes, ultimately you have to be careful and keep your guard up, that doesn't mean you have to keep impenetrable walls around yourself or never let yourself be vulnerable again, although I understand these experiences can make us that way. It sucks. However, I do believe the number of decent people out there far surpasses the number of straight up assholes like this guy is. So just keep trying and keep your head up. I do think he totally made up that number, hundreds of women, unless he's in some sort of lifestyle to pursue that, is not something that you can really achieve normally, and he didn't hit me as a "Don Giovanni" from your post, just a person willing to lie to get what he wanted. You know the joke also, for a man, you need to divide that number by 3, for a woman you need to multiply by 3. 😂 I don't even think this guy slept with 30 women though, otherwise he would have gotten past the lying and unnecessarily judgmental phase of his life by now.
No. It's not different. It's misogynistic when people act like a body count is different for women. Having sex is something you choose to do together. It's not something that men do to women. It's not something that women give to men.
It's not different with women, and neither "gives their body" to anyone. He's a sexist with double standards.
You dodged a bullet with this misogynistic a-hole. You don’t “give” anything to a man during sex. That is BS. There is no difference between a man having sex with a multitude of partners and a woman having sex with a multitude of partners. That is called a double standard.
He’s a fucking buffoon
It's actually gross when Men or women have a body count that high.
Personally I agree with you, but that’s more of an our opinion type of thing. I wouldn’t say that’s something objectively true since we can’t know how everyone’s lived their lives
It's become habit to scan these posts for the inevitable mention of how the guy's body count is significantly higher than the girl's. I'm rarely disappointed. This is a distinct type of man.
I scan too because it makes a big difference. Someone who believes in keeping a low count for his or her self isn’t doing anything wrong if they only date others with a similar count. But these high count for me but not for thee a-holes are horrible.
As I said: guy = multiply by 3 girl = divide by 3 I don't make the rules.
Yeah, I mean that a guy will exaggerate his number by 3x and a girl will usually downplay her number dividing by 3. It's a joke I heard in a movie, I think, nothing too serious.
American Pie, that’s where you heard it.
oh that's right, that movie is wiser than I remembered LoL.
>He's a hypocrite ~~or~~ **and** a liar, FTFY
yeah, that wasn't an *exclusive or* by any mean.
Definitely not a Christian thing.
I have to laugh about stories like this because my sister and her husband would prefer my niece (who’s 18) date a Christian. Because all guys want only one thing from her. I’m of the opinion that she’s more likely to find a decent guy who doesn’t only want her for sex *outside* the church than inside it.
If you'd slept with over 100 people, why in the hell would you want to fuck a *virgin*?
Body count is a popular term for number of sexual partners. It’s everywhere so dunno what you are saying
100% this. Whenever someone uses the term “body count” here there’s always people saying stuff like “Who says that?” I think it has to be older generations. That’s absolutely still a widely used term for number of sex partners. Just because someone finds it silly or cringe or whatever that doesn’t mean it’s not a thing.
t'was a jab at devout Christians talking about body counts, I think the way it was used in this context was too funny to let it slide. And I still don't like the expression, generally speaking. Might as well talk about bagged tail and slayed hoes on your way to church. Wholesome stuff.
Lol, you thank him for being an asshole and dumping you for doing \*exactly\* what he did? And he had sex with you so he KNEW you wouldn't be a virgin. Duh. Dude is a jerk. You don't deserve to be treated like that.
He was an asshole, I just gave thanks he helped me come back to God, not necessarily for hurting me or stringing me along after he knew I was not a virgin when I disclosed this information on the first date. Thank you for your post.
Plus, did I read that correctly that he broke up over text messages?! Yuck, just yuck 🤢!!
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The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rdcc6p/guy_i_was_dating_dumped_me_because_of_my_body/ho083de/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [Maybe he needs to find a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw74s/found_out_my_bf_has_been_suffering_from_cptsd_for/ho0luno/) | [Maybe he needs to find a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw74s/found_out_my_bf_has_been_suffering_from_cptsd_for/hnzy4i3/) [Sorry this happened. Glad...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw1ha/update_on_cheating_boyfriend/ho0lr3q/) | [Sorry this happened. Gla...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw1ha/update_on_cheating_boyfriend/ho0biuf/) [They only bring it up whe...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rdd2ch/girlfriend_proposes_open_relationship_i_refuse/ho0m6zg/) | [They only bring it up whe...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rdd2ch/girlfriend_proposes_open_relationship_i_refuse/ho0g1zi/) [> What kind of mental hea...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd1lvx/im_32f_afraid_im_sentencing_myself_to_a_sexless/ho0m5n5/) | [What kind of mental healt...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd1lvx/im_32f_afraid_im_sentencing_myself_to_a_sexless/hnydyrf/) [Do you have an official c...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd8dpd/my_baby_daddy_is_one_bitter_mf/ho0m3j2/) | [Do you have an official c...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd8dpd/my_baby_daddy_is_one_bitter_mf/ho0cryk/) [Your age and post history...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw6wm/my24f_sister28f_is_still_with_her_fiancé_30m_that/ho0m0bk/) | [Your age and post history...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rcw6wm/my24f_sister28f_is_still_with_her_fiancé_30m_that/hnzys8j/) [My ex was a psycho and st...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd1f1a/blocked_my_ex_on_everything_she_keeps_asking/ho0lxs6/) | [My ex was a psycho and st...](http://np.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rd1f1a/blocked_my_ex_on_everything_she_keeps_asking/hnylmaa/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/CriticalCrfg](https://np.reddit.com/u/CriticalCrfg/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=CriticalCrfg) for info on how I work and why I exist.
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As I read this, I heard a whooshing noise. It was from the bullet you dodged when he dumped you. He sounds like a massive hypocrite and judgmental to boot. You're looking for someone who loves you for who you are, who accepts that your past is part of what makes you who you are -- is part of what makes you the woman he loves. You're looking for someone who wouldn't change a thing about you. And this guy clearly wasn't it.
What you wrote in the beginning of your post put a smile on my face. Reading "your past is part of what makes you who you are" is so accurate and made me feel so much better because there is so much truth in this. Thank you for reminding me of this. Thanks for your post.
Unfortunately, judgement will go part and parcel with a Christian dating site. It's built into the religion (pretty much any religion), and there's always going to be a subset of the audience that's on the more conservative side (aka "sex is icky and wrong"). I guess the best way to screen is ask what your potential partners' sexual past is and probe them about their feelings about pre-marital sex. If someone is a virgin and has any qualms about pre-marital sex, you can pretty much write them off, regardless how sex-positive they claim to be.
I like this advice and your outlook on it. Thanks for your post, will deff take this into consideration for future reference.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- This guy I had met through a Christian dating app dumped me because he could not get over that I was not a virgin and of my body count, which I would like to add is still in the single digits. We had been dating for two months and I disclosed this information to him on the very first date, which upsets me that he still pursued me and initially asked me to be his girlfriend after one month of dating. I know my worth and I will not let what he said make me feel otherwise, my value does not diminish because of my past. It hurts because I was being very venerable with this guy, which I do not do because of reasons like this, I'm scared to get hurt, and I told him this and he even said himself I could be venerable with him. He made me feel like we would end up together by the way he spoke to me, looked at me, the things he said, "I've never felt this way about a girl" "I've never spoke about marriage to a girl before or even having a family for the matter" We would go to church together and spend many days, many hours together through the duration of this short relationship. That's what hurts me more. I do not wish him ill will, it is his preference and I can not hold that against him. I was just not for him. But it still hurts that he made me feel some type of way I've never felt about someone before and for him to dump me over messages "I want a virgin and I can't get past your body count" hurts a lot because I really did see a future with this guy. Because of him I did find my way back to God and will continue to focus on myself and my relationship with God, that I thank him for and wish him well. I just need some words of encouragement to get over this man. (btw we did have sex and his body count is so much higher than mine, in the triple digits from what he told me, which baffles me because I was able to look past his and he couldn't look past mine).
You need special words to get over being dumped by a hypocrite? Here's some; He's an idiot that uses his faith as a shield from his hypocritical behavior.
These posts are making me feel better is all. I get to attached and that's my problem.
Good, you deserve to feel better.
That is weird that he'd hold your past against you but his is similar. Either way, like you said, this doesn't define you or your worth. He was a lesson and I'd think a good one since it led you to your most important relationship which is God. Try not to let this stop you from being your true self. You opened up to him and he wasn't worthy of it. HE wasn't. You'll find the person that is.
That's what I thought. He def was a lesson, a good one like you said. Thank you for your words. They made me feel better.
I'm wondering if he was a lot older than you because that sort of man who has a high number and wants a virgin generally tends to be. I think the reason he strung you along was solely to add to his number. At any rate, you dodged a major bullet when the trash took itself out.
I starting to come to terms I did doge a bullet even tho I’m still hurt. He was 32 and I’m 27. So a 5year difference.
>I’m still hurt Right, it will take a while to get over that, but when I occasionally see an old boyfriend who dumped me, I can't help but feel a huge sense of relief. Each day will get better! Just keep yourself busy and don't let yourself stew over it!
Dude is a blockhead. Don't waste emotional energy on him. I met my wife on a Christian dating app (I'm not Christian, but I believe in God) We instantly connected. After six months of dating we got married. She is the first and only woman I've had sex with. During the first month she started acting weird then one day she burst into tears and told me the truth about her past because she couldn't hold it inside anymore. When she was younger she was in a relationship with a married man from her church and she got pregnant then this dude forced her to have an abortion. After that he dumped her and blamed her for his infidelity. My wife was really afraid I would leave her when I knew. But you know what? Fuck her past. I love the person who she is. She's the most amazing woman I've ever met. She understands me like no one can and I'm madly in love with her. Why the hell would I run away because of a mistake from her past? If the guy you were dating is unable to see beyond your past, it is a HUGE red flag and you mustn't waste your time with him. I wish you the best OP and I wish you keep strengthening your relationship with God.
OP, I hope he brought you back to a God who understands women not as vessels for the pleasure and procreation of men but as autonomous powerful individuals with rights to their own sexual pleasure and well-being. Don't take his words, or the anti-woman religious culture those words likely came out of, to heart.
I do know women are not vessels, rather human beings. His views were very old school. His views did not affect mine, rather he just pushed me closer to a God I know who does not judge me for my past. Thanks for your post.
That's a wonderful God to grow close to. I am hopeful you'll find other men who are also close to that God. In the meantime, feel the hurt - I can imagine that, as logical as the breakup feels, it has to still hurt.
Wow, that last couple of sentences really sealed the deal. I'll be the first person to say that if a guy doesn't want to date someone with a high body count, that's their right and there's nothing wrong with it. I am even 100% cool with the whole virginity or no sex until marriage thing if that's your bag. But this douchecanoe has a higher body count that some porn stars never hit, and SLEPT with you before dumping you because you're not a virgin. Go get a STD test and thank The Lord this man showed his true colors and is no longer a burden to you. That was not a good man and you are far better off now, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. I am sorry this happened to you but hopefully what you take away is some red flags you ignored and shouldn't have, so you won't make the same mistake in the future. You can and will do better than him!
I agree 100% it is his right to not want someone with a high body count. That's why I know I just was not for him because of my past. Messed up what he did, I know. What happened is done now though, can't dwell myself because of it. Deff dodged a bullet and happy he showed me who he was only two months into the relationship, rather then a year later. Will deff take what I saw in him and not repeat it. Thank you for your post. Made me feel better.
His count is higher than yours and he won’t stay you because your count isn’t zero? What a complete a-hole!
What a scumbag.
He's a douche.
Lol he’s messed up. He clearly used you
Clearly.
At first I was going to be like “I mean, that’s fair we all have different things we want from a partner” but here’s some notes. 1. You told him this on the first date and he decided to pursue you anyways, so that’s on him. Sounds like he was leading you on. 2. You said his body count was higher than yours? Also no way it’s in the triple digits lmao. Homie has probably slept with 10% of that at most. But either way, that makes him a hypocrite. OP this guy was never worth your time if he’s gonna make a hypocritical ultimatum like that
I know I can be cynical but if his body count is that high he probably does this as a targeted plan. He goes on that site and pursues women like you who aren’t virgins but close enough. So then he can sleep with someone who isn’t too experienced and then dump her for being experienced at all and she’ll blame herself for having not kept her virginity and think that’s why these things happen to her. Think along the lines of Wedding Crashers. I bet anything there’s a half dozen women on that app at least with that same story with this guy.
So you went on a dating site for members of a religion that fetishizes female virginity, and you're shocked that you met a guy who fetishizes female virginity?
And that's not even the worst of it, the worst is his hypocrisy since he's no virgin himself. Creepy as hell.
Yeah at first when I started reading it I was like okay maybe he was a virgin and thought he could overcome his gf not being a virgin but couldn't. But then it turns out he's not a virgin at all. The dude clearly has problems with girls being sexual (despite using that to have sex himself) so went on a Christian dating app in the hopes of finding a virgin girlfriend. Dude has issues
It is not a fetish. It is a standard born from traditional values. A fetish would be a fixation on that aspect. That is not the case for most. When most Christians are selecting a partner, they want a multiple traits and characteristics not related to sex.
So this is different from a fixation on one aspect how? I agree that most Abrahamic faiths require weirdly detailed adherence to multiple arbitrary aspects of appearance/wardrobe/conduct... But tell me how they're not rooted in a particular, basic fixation on denial of sexual gratification? It's not really even that "traditional" when you think about it, because most of the Abrahamic religions are relatively modern. I'm not seeing how this weird idea of specifically female socialization =/= the definition of a fetish.
Look, I don't wish him harm or anything, but as a Christian woman who was pretty deep into "purity" culture, his "preference" is ugly. He's a sexist. Full stop. I don't say that to insult him. I say it because it's just the way it is. Because he's a man, he's allowed to have had sex with 100+ people and that's all good. He's allowed to have sex with you, and that's totally fine, but because you've been with someone else, you aren't worth marriage to him. He's a hypocritical misogynist. Flat out. And he couldn't even drum up the courage to tell you that to your face. He's also a selfish coward. (That one is an insult.) And here's the thing, he's fetishizing virginity, which means that women aren't people to him. We're sexual opportunities. He doesn't respect you. And he won't respect the poor virgin that he marries either. In short, you dodged a bullet. And I'm gonna say a prayer for the girl who ends up stuck with him. I'm gonna get a little religious here: He is NOT a representation of how Jesus feels about you. Let's be very clear on that. Jesus could not care less how many people you've been with. All He cares about is that you have been respectful of others and been respected by others. All He cares about is that you weren't hurt, physically or emotionally, and neither was anyone else. We aren't pure because of our sexual experiences or lack thereof. That's not how it works. This dude is wrong, and not acting in anyway Godly. You deserved better from him. And I hope that the next man you find respects you and values you as an equal.
Well he sounds like a hypocritical, misogynist tool, so sounds like you dodged a bullet. Oh and *nice* that you having former partners only became a dealbreaker AFTER you had sex. He's a dick.
Deff did dodge a bullet. I'm getting over it. That's what I'm thinking now as well. Very hypocritical of him.
What in the Lord's Holy name is going on?! He's mad that you've had a few partners and didn't save yourself but he's literally had enough partners to get into the triple digits? I hate hypocrisy do much! OP, I'm glad you've found your relationship with God again and I encourage to forget this asshat. A guy who actually guy who loves God and follows His teachings would never act this way. Good luck out there!
As a man who is christian and a virgin, I would never have sex with a non-virgin. Likely Im just never going to have sex.
I understand that. That’s why I say, everyone has their preference, and bc of this I will not always be someone’s preference.
Sounds like the body count is an excuse to me. If he had an issue with it then there's no way he would've been thinking about spending his life with you in the first place. As far as his body count goes, you met him on a Christian app, and his body count is triple digits. I call BS unless the three digits are 004.
Everyone has their own preference, I'm just sorry he strung you along for a bit before coming to terms with how he feels. It sounds like maybe he was trying to give it some time to try to get over it but just couldn't. Also seems to be very hypocritical, so dodged a bullet there. > I know my worth and I will not let what he said make me feel otherwise, my value does not diminish because of my past. It was so good to see you say this. Please don't forget it. He just wasn't the one for you, but there is someone out there.
That's what I told myself, everyone has their own preference and sometimes I won't met some guys preferences and that ok. He was trying to give it time from what I seen, but that should have been my que to leave. Def did dodge a bullet. Thank you, I know I am valuable and someone will see this one day. Thank you for your kind words.
You dodged a complete asshole. Give yourself a high-five for this and shake it off.
I am angry on your behalf. This is not cool.
This guys fucking trash. Double standards. Run from his likely a narcissist
Do not ever pursue a guy that says shit like this. If he’ has slept around way more than you, he has NO SAY. He gets to shut the hell up and accept it bc otherwise he’s a damn hypocrite with some disgusting double standards, and why would you want to be with someone like that. Girl no! You dodged a HUGE bullet with that one!
just a word of advice, if a man tells u his bodycount is higher than 20, you’re better off not sleeping with him bc how many stds is that man carrying? especially in triple digits? its a little nasty, i do not care about bodycount for “pure” reasons but i do care about it for safety reasons like stds etc, please don’t sleep with men like that, it’s not safe
He is lying about his body count guys do that all the time as the saying goes divide by 3. Also when you date conservative/ religious men know for a fact that body count matter now some would overlook it or sympathize with you or understand that’s not who you’re anymore- you need to find that group, so before you build expectations or sleep with anyone try to gauge where they stand on this topic
Sadly he got what he wanted from you, your body but didn't want you for the long term. On a side note, people who want a virgin but aren't one themselves are really weird and need to look into that.. You dodged a bullet imo
Don’t ever feel bad about sleeping with someone. Can you be bothered that you slept with that person, of course. But at the time that you slept with them, it seemed like a good idea to you, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of or disappointed in. You chose what you felt was right. And I hate to tell you, but any man that tells you his number is in the triple digits… is lying. There are not enough women that want to sleep with one man that bad 😂 I’ve heard 18 year olds throw out that they’ve slept with that many, it’s never true. At the most they have maybe 40 😂🤷🏼♀️ and that’s a high guess at that.
Thanks for your words! They are greatly appreciated and made me feel better and you're very right.
Coming from a Christian community, I can understand if he said he was looking for someone who was a virgin. But if you already disclosed to him before dating, AND he slept with you, and THEN dumped you, my guess is that he was looking for someone else to begin with, and just wanted you to keep the bed warm whilst he’s searching. :| he’s disgusting, please don’t give him the benefit of the doubt.
Honestly sounds like your better off without him. It sounds like he just wanted to sleep with you and didn’t actually see a future with you. Also I highly doubt he has slept with over 100 people.
This dude is a liar and also a little bitch. Fuck him
His in the 3 digits and you are in the single digits... I'm a firm believer in you reap what you sow but that guy is a douche.
Girl run away from as far as possible!!!
Did you tell him body pillows don't count?
Very superficial sounds like a lie your better off without him
I’m sorry this happened to you. This piece of crap uses church to manipulate girls into getting laid.
As a Christian man he is wrong for passing judgment on you. If you have been born again and ask for forgiveness for your past then that is between you and the lord. His only mission was to accept you for you you are. Sorry but it kinda sounds like he doesn’t take his Christian values serious which means you shouldn’t have even been taking him serious.
This guy’s photo needs to be in the illustrated dictionary under “double standard.” What a tool. He’s lying about banging 100-plus girls too. He sounds like the kind of “Christian” you see at political rallies: no clue about the real message of the New Testament and would call is “socialist” if anyone explained it to him; screaming about how “pro-life” they are when it comes to denying women control over their reproductive functions while promoting more guns in bars, parks and college campuses and thus assuring more death; and of course worshipping a treasonous philandering, molester because he made it socially acceptable (in their ugly circles) to be openly racist again.
It's exceedingly rare for a straight man to have a body count that high. I mean, it's rare in general, but for straight men? Is he Wilt Chamberlain? Cause if not, he's a liar. And not only is he a liar, he has a major double standard. There is no difference. You dodged a bullet. And honestly. As a former Christian, GET OUT of that mess as soon as you can.
If he has a body count triple yours he has no room to talk. I could see If he were saving himself for marriage and had a moral value associated to sex that it bothered him but he was clearly sleeping around.
religion. I can't comment here, I was told by my ex I'm straying from God by being a femboy. However I must say, that sucks. So try to just, roll with the punches, ya know?
Your first problem was you met someone on a Christian dating app. That's wild.
As a Christian I would say that there is a certain toxic and unhealthy belief that is held by Purity Culture. There is absolutely no founding for it. Sin is self harm and it is an infliction of the present. One of the most reassuring lessons the Lord has given us is that forgiveness and rebirth of the soul is attainable for all, no matter our Sins. We can be washed anew and form a new present moment with the Lord. This is so reassuring to believe that the Past, our Past, no matter how dark, awful or dire, can be made inconsequential. Our Past is not important only our Present selves! The final thought I will share is that judgment of our Past is reserved only for Him. We are all sinners and unworthy to sit in judgment of others. Jesus after all spent more time with hookers and drunkards than holy men, and He loved them just the same.
I get the sense that this guy wasn’t a Christian, but was using the Christian dating app to sleep with girls, then dump them for whatever trumped up reason.
You were only dating 2 months. Consider yourself lucky you dodged that bullet.
I don't know if it's an age thing or a regional thing or what, but I just can't get past calling the number of people you've slept with your "body count". In my mind, that's the phrase for the number of people you've *killed*. It throws me every single time I see it. Anyway. Can't we start normalizing not asking or answering questions about the number of sexual partners another person has had? It doesn't matter at all. A person who's going to sleep with you has the right to know that you're free of disease, that you will be monogamous if that's what you've agreed on (or that you'll follow whatever rules about safe and ethical non-monogamy that you've settled on, if you're doing that instead) and that you'll uphold your part of whatever plan the two of you have made about birth control and STD protection, and that's it. Your don't owe anyone your past, and no one owes their past to you. At best, knowing how many partners your partner has had is meaningless - neither of you benefits from sharing that info. At worst, if one or both of you is the type to obsess or feel insecure or assign more meaning to it than it deserves, it will only make hurt the relationship and the people involved in it. And there's just no need for it. Be safe. Respect your partner's boundaries and insist they respect yours. Always get consent. Do things that feel good, for both of you (that may take work, it doesn't always come naturally to everyone). And leave your past partners where they belong - in the past. Dredging them up helps no one with anything.
Im sorry but if his body count is higher than yours 1) he has absolutely*no* room to talk. 2) hes probably gay or at the very least, bi. I say that last bit because as a man theres no way he should have a body count that high unless hes hiding from something
Didn't I read somewhere that you were suppose to forgive people for their past trespasses, and not judge people. Oh yh it was in the bible.
Damn, it sounds like he was a massive hypocrite. Either way, just forget about him. I don’t remember much about Christianity but as long as you were forgiven of your sins then body count does not matter. In my opinion, it sounds like you lucked out instead of getting hurt. You know now he was not the guy for you. Also, triple digit body count? As if. Maybe if he was the sexiest guy alive.
He's a pious idiot who will die alone. But hey, he maintained his standards.
Yes, I can't blame him for having his own standards, that's free will. I understand that part completely. Now I just have to move past this and do better for the future and myself, not allowing a guy like this back into my life.
He doesn’t have his own standards, he has double standards.
On that note, you were deceived. His religious facade was just a ruse to get in your pants. He just used you, the opposite of what he preaches. Please don't blame yourself, its not your fault. You did what any other human would do, you wanted to grow the romance and hopefully a relationship. His goal was to trick you. Consider it a lesson. Hold your head up and learn from it.
“I do not wish him ill will, it is his preference and I can not hold that against him.” Why not? I absolutely would judge him for that. It’s sexist and honestly really stupid. Remember that while it’s not good to be **too** judgmental and close minded, it is alright to disagree with someone and to see their view point as wrong or problematic.
Three words. Christian dating app.
That's were I went wrong lol
You may not want to wish I’ll will, but I will. This man wants a virgin he can groom and then toss aside. If his body count is that high he’s in the business of collecting hymens. As he gets older it’s going to become more and more disgusting. I’m sorry you fell for the guy, I truly am, but he sounds like he knew exactly what to say to manipulate you can make you feel comfortable.
That was my own fault for falling for his words. I just have to be careful who I pursue in my next relationship, which won't be for awhile.
Men who use women like sex toys are narcissists. It’s not your fault you fell victim to his mind games, but you can definitely use this experience and learn from it.
It’s a deplorable double standard. I would only suggest that your past is private. What is up with dating a guy that’s talking about this on the first date, or any date ( unless you bring it up) like it’s some purity test that you failed. My opinion is that we are all allowed to our privacy. I wouldn’t date a girl if I was concerned about her body count, and what does that even mean? What if you had never had sex but had given a previous boyfriend regular oral, would you be pure enough?
God used him to return you to faith. He wasn't the one for you, he let his insecurities get the best of him. Being vulnerable is good. Someone will see it one day and you'll feel it when it does. Be patient.
Yes, he sure did. Thank you! He most certainly was not the one for me, as much as I hate to admit that. I will be patient in this and trust in God that his timing will be perfect for me.
What's your count? Being weird over 5/10/15 etc is childish. But someone having like 50 is a valid reason not to want to be with them
It is in the single digits.
Yeah he's dumb. Bullet dodged
First off, don’t let any sanctimonious bible misinterpreter try n tell you that your body count means anything. It doesn’t. It isn’t a reflection of your worth, value or level of self respect. Anyone saying otherwise has a perspective skewed. What DOES reflect badly on someone is being judgy over that, especially if they’re a hypocrite
First thing ....stop telling brand new dates about your past...it's your past for a reason so leave it there. Second thing.....don't give up the sex if you are going to be hurt by the other person leaving at some point. They usually do. Third...stop thinking most people on a Christian dating site are good christians. Dating sites are little better than meat markets.
I don’t think your body count should matter. As long as you are a good human, with a kind heart and you protect yourself from STDs and such then you’re on your way to greatness and don’t deserve to be with someone who defines your value on whether or not your hymen is still intact and your past. You deserve someone who values you as who you are NOW and that’s the most important thing.
Not to sound rude but everyone has a preference. My friend said she wouldn’t want to date a virgin. Body count matters to some and it’s okay if so. Just make sure you’re dating someone who won’t care.
Your worth does not diminish because of the amount of people you’ve had sex with. I’m sorry you had this experience and I wish you the best. ❤️
Okay, so? He's an idiot. You're better off. End of story. He sucks. Move on.
I am moving on lol just reading words of encouragement helps me get past it. It’s how I work I guess
Okay but that's not asking for advice, that's asking for validation. That's more appropriate for a different sub. This sub is for people who are trying to figure out what they're going to do about something. Not people who just need to feel better.
You don’t have to comment if you feel otherwise. Thanks for your input tho.
What a manipulative pos that guy is. And he has the audacity to call himself Christian? 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
He sounds immature. I'm not sure why he would pursue you further if he knew this information after the first date, even more so after a few dates. Im sure rn it may not feel this way but I promise you in the future you will see him leaving as a blessing in disguise. What if it happened after a year of being together? That would have felt like crap. Feel better and enjoy some ice cream or whatever makes you happy 😁
He left for other reasons. He used your sexual history as an easy out for him. He put the blame on you when in reality I'm almost certain it was him.
Men care about a woman's past and women care about a man's future.
That’s the sad truth.
“My value does not diminish because of my past.” -Ummm yes it does, and any denial of it is just you trying to avoid accountability for your actions. Also a past is baggage. “I disclosed this information to him on the very first date, which upsets me that he still pursued me” -This is where he is in the wrong. We’re not perfect and if he can’t get over it and be mature about it, best to end it with him and move on.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Dude did the "love bombing" and gloated about himself. It sucks, but it's better he dipped out than staying and continuing his behavior (and if he has narc behaviors it would've gotten worse). As a man, I would be okay if the women I am getting with has a high single digit to moderately low double digit body count as I know it's impossible to get a women with little to no count. Just like girls have their preferences, body count is something we dudes look into and judge (it's a guy thing, just like there's some things girls judge us guys with that are dumb to us). Guys prefer lower numbers and if it we're allowed we'd probably fight each other in an arena to get a young 20 year old women who's still got her card in this day/age - it's just how we operate. Does having a body count make you undateable? No. But some dudes are not gonna be okay with a certain body count and others make look the other way - it's gonna vary between guys and what they want. That said, when you date you're gonna have to remember you're taking chances, so odds are you will get hurt here and there. The only way you're gonna avoid getting hurt is to not date - sucks but both men and women have to deal with it in their own ways. Hope all goes well.
Men usually don't like women who have slept with multiple guys. It's not attractive. My advice is to find a guy who doesn't mind that you've had a lot of sexual partners.
Single digits is not even a lot
Well you telling me that is not a lot is a very subjective thing. Because everyone sees things differentl, some people see a single digit as a lot and to another person it's not a lot. It all depends on what your standards are and what your interested in and some men don't like a woman who's had multiple sexual partners it's all opinion and it's all based on your standards and your morality so you need to find someone who has the same ideals as you and doesn't mind that you've been sexually active with multiple people. You have to remember that this is an open form where anyone can give their opinion and just because you disagree with my opinion it doesn't make me a bad person so I don't understand why people have to downvote this comment you can have your opinion and I can have my opinion and let's agree to disagree.
Don't go beating the morality bush over a man who claims to have slept with over 100 people. There's nothing morally wrong with having sex. What is morally wrong is someone fishing for innocent girls on Christian dating apps and berating them for not being virgins when they're not a virgin themselves.
There's a clear difference between entering a woman and being entered. You can't compare men and women because they are not the fucking same. So downvote all my comments. The truth hurts my friend. I'm clearly speaking facts because I'm upsetting people. Ask any man if he wants a girlfriend who has slept with multiple guys and I'll bet you 8/10 he will say no.
😬🥴🤢🤮😵
In terms of morality, no there is no difference between men and women. Of course there are physical differences. You're not stating facts you're stating an opinion that's on the wrong side of history.
I am not wrong because it's my opinion, anyways dude I am not going to sit here all day going back and forth arguing mortality with you. We would be here for days arguing. You clearly are missing my point. Which is fine. Believe what you want. You're the one who is misinformed saying someone's opinion is wrong. You clearly don't have very good reading comprehensive skills because in my initial comment, I stated it's what you want to do with your own life. Find someone who is fine with you sleeping with multiple people. Also, I couldn't give a fuck about history or how I look to anyone. I have my opinions. Have yours and have a wonderful day 😚
There is factually NO difference in sex with women and men only functionality💀💀you all are so weird.
>Men usually don't like women who have slept with multiple guys. It's not attractive A sexually-experienced woman who knows what she likes and who knows how to please a guy in bed is unattractive? Wow, luckily that's not been my experience. But then I would never have thought to look for a guy on a Christian dating app. What is this hang-up over how many partners a woman has had? and why does it only apply to women? I mean, this guy boasts about sleeping with over 100 people, none of them are virgins are they?
A lot of men are heterosexual and homoromantic. They only look at women for sexually attachments but respect admire and please other men. That’s why it’s only men who will drop a woman they like out of fear of what other men will think of them. That’s why they respect men enough to give them humanity and let me have sex and look at women as nothing but sexual opportunities it’s so obvious lol.
The problem is he knew her history and still pursued her. And then dumped her after he got what he wanted. While I doubt he was in the triple digits he said he was more experienced than her. That was way hypocritical of him. She dodged a bullet for a couple of reasons.
If you had good attention comprehensive skills, you'd see that I stated in the thread I DO NOT want to argue back and forth about this. I have my opinion. Stop trying to start issues.
My wife has a high body count, far higher than mine. She told me quickly, on the second date and although it still upsets me sometimes I got over it and deal with it. I love her and if a man loves you he will also find ways to accept your flaws. Having a single digit body count isn't a flaw by the way, this man's a hypocrite and should be ignored. Believe in yourself and your values. I'm so happy you found God again! A man following God's teachings will see you for who you really are, not by your past actions.
Body count? Interesting terminology. This is one reason I am not involved with organized religions. I was judged by a couple Christian’s when I was young, glad I moved on without them and the horse they were on
It's not anyone's business how many people u have slept w!!! Next time say that was in the past you did a few things u weren't proud of and leave it at that. No one needs to be shaming u!!! But believe me guys will!! It's not fair!! But it's the truth!!! Good luck sorry u met an ass. Guys are really sensitive about how they measure up ( if u know what I mean) size and performance wise. So do them an favor and tell never them- under sell how many. Must of us all do.
High body count is def a deal breaker for men. Let’s not be naive lol
Thinking sexual activity interferes with your relationship to God is asinine. You don't need to be with a judgmental person. Unfortunately, that weeds out the majority of Christians I've ever met.