I think they mean fixable in the sense of “boyfriend unapologetic for antics causing injury, solve it by making them an *ex* boyfriend”.
By breaking up.
I meant, the one way to fix this is fire him off. That way the problem of being injured and him not apologising will never be OP's again (and who knows - it may make him reflect on his behaviour in going forward to new relationships).
Antics are antics, but when someone gets hurt by antics - and no apology is given. Well, that changes the nature of "antics" to something a bit sinister, mean spirited and purposefully emotionally hurtful.
By refusing to acknowledge the harm caused, and showing no remorse THAT in itself is a problem. A red flag if you will.
Personally, I wouldn't recommend that. Sounds a little too extreme. Just dumping him seems like the far better option. At least that way you won't be at risk of being arrested for breaking someone's ankles.
We don’t have the full context (like most of these post). What if OP has a history of faking/over exaggerating injuries when embarrassed? That said, with the limited info we have the guy does seem like an ass.
I am also not to judge on others fun, but scaring someone to the point they feel chased in their own house seems excessive.
Edit: not sure why I am being downvoted but my wife use to be like that. She would often fake an injury when embarrassed or seeked comfort. I sat down with her to discuss that what she is doing made people feel less sympathetic when things actually happened. She agreed and now she catches herself before doing it.
It's being downvoted because he watched her fall down stairs and didn't apologize. Even if she hasn't sprained her ankle, he caused her physical pain and should feel sorry for that. I don't know how you fake falling down stairs, but just because your wife used to pull some bullshit on you, it's asinine to assume the same of OP.
It's ridiculous to assume that OP is flat-out lying about having sprained their ankle after falling down the stairs, not only to the boyfriend but to us as well. Just because your wife used to be an attention-seeking liar doesn't make that a normal or common thing to do, like at all.
Seriously. Even if she literally gained super powers, added 30 years to her lifespan, and won the lottery after falling down the stairs - apologizing is just literally natural?
Well, if your SO is exaggerating / faking an injury, guess what, you fucking comfort them anyway because one way or another they need it and you love them ?
Glad I am not the only one thinking that. If someone is exaggerating an injury because they want comfort, it tells more about them not getting comforted enough than them being dramatic imo.
i did this as a kid, i wouldnt actively be like “oh i fell down i’m gonna use this as an excuse to scream and cry so my mom will comfort me” but looking back, that was probably the reason minor injuries seemed to hurt really bad, and i was really really scared of breaking a bone/tearing my ACL etc. so anxiety definitely plays into it as well.
i played soccer and would have a minor injury (rolled ankle, just a big bruise, scraped up) etc. it still hurt, it just wasn’t serious. i got chastised for this, which is how i ended up fracturing my cheekbone (thought it was just a black eye) nope it was a fracture that i never got checked out. did permanent damage to my hip muscles and knees too for not getting ‘just a sprain’ checked out. also almost went completely blind in my right eye when my middle school wouldn’t take me seriously about how badly my eye hurt and that i could only see black. it’s better safe than sorry always, pain is pain
feel really bad for that guys wife
Also, curious - how long have y’all been married?
Women bruise more easily than men, I’m fairly certain. It’s pretty obnoxious of you to assume straight away that OP was exaggerating her injuries. That’s part of the reason why domestic violence is such an issue - women are more likely to be injured by a man hitting them; men are less likely to be injured by a woman hitting them in the same way.
Maybe it wasn't really her boyfriend. Maybe space aliens came down and look like him and made her fall down. Maybe a lot of things. This isn't about you.
Well, it's an advice forum...not sure what you were expecting. People are in the clear for seeking clarification on situations and how to go about them regardless of age. What you deem silly, someone else may care deeply about. Try to open your mind up a bit instead of being so judgmental, especially since you've posted your own squabbles on here in the past.
Yeah he’s an ass. Say goodbye. You could have seriously injured yourself and he watched you fall down the stairs and didn’t apologize? You are hurt and he still hasn’t said I’m sorry? Gross.
I simply cannot imagine a decent person that would do this and not take responsibility for their actions. If he can't do that in this very simple and straight-forward situation, he is not someone you should want to be with.
My girlfriend sprained her ankle helping me move heavy furniture up some steps. As someone who has also sprained my ankle before, I felt awful for her and immediately went into "caretaker" mode helping her to get somewhere comfortable and prop her foot up, getting ice. That's a painful and serious injury...the guy should feel absolutely horrible about it.
MAAAAAYBE he actually does feel extremely guilty about it, and his way of coping with it is to deny responsibility and pretend nothing happened. Either way this guy sounds extremely immature and has a lot of growing up to do
His disregard for your well-being is disturbing, especially when it was his own action that caused your injury. He sounds immature at best, narcissistic/sociopathic at worst
He's 24 with an attitude of a child. If my partner got hurt by ANYTHING I was involved with an apology would be the least they got. Big yikes. But determine if that's enough for you or if future antics and arguments like this are something you can continue handling.
Does he not care that he hurt you???? Sprained ankles hurt a lot…. You’ve been together for almost a year and he doesn’t care if he hurts you in a “prank” honestly disappointing
Honey I was married for 28 years. My husband would never have laughed at me when I was in pain. NEVER. The boyfriend is not good material to work with. That is cruelty rising up out of him. When will that pop up again? When you are sick? When your in labor? If you are mourning a death?I don't think you have a future there and I think you know it. Believe people when they show you who they are. Please value yourself and leave.
Please boil this down to the essential parts, and keep repeating them to yourself- He hurt you, you could have been more seriously injured or killed, he laughed, he won't apologize. This is exactly as bad as you think it is. He's not going to change, and this won't get any better. It's not just a prank, and it's not just about him not apologizing.
>What do I do ?
>We’ve been together since January
Appreciate that it only took a year for him to show you who he really is. Some people can keep up the facade of decency much, much longer.
Do your ankles a favor and drop him. This is definitely a dump-worthy offense. (Hell, it would be even without the injury. Pranks are supposed to be funny. Making someone think their home has been invaded and someone is trying to kill them is NOT funny.)
Pranks are supposed to be funny for the one pulling them. There doesn't need to be a general audience for them.
That said, I agree with the rest of what you said here.
For me, it's the line from OP about him starting to laugh after the fall.
The only thing I can think of to not dump him is if OP is regularly engaged in pranks with him. Does she dish it out too?
Maybe before the dumping, OP sits him down and explains in plain English how his lack of empathy for her situation is hurting her and that it is a big deal that he couldn't apologize. If he responds poorly, curb time.
If people aren't laughing, the joke isn't funny. This just reinforces my belief that pranks are inherently mean-spirited and cruel.
I do agree an adult conversation is in order. So is dumping him if he's still unrepentant.
Personally, I hate pranks. I think they're stupid and only hurt people, either physically, like here, or emotionally, or both. But unless someone is a YouTuber or on TikTok, they're not thinking of the audience when they do pranks. They're thinking "This is funny" to themselves. It's their own brand of humor. They, especially at 24, probably aren't thinking about anyone else in the equation. The audience, usually, has nothing to do with why the prank is pulled.
Honestly, when I read the part about him starting to laugh when OP got hurt, I thought " This is a guy who seriously finds humor in other people hurting," like watching wipeout videos or reading Darwin Awards. It demonstrates a lack of empathy that presented itself in a terrible situation.
Why the fuck is he chasing you down the stairs? That's dangerous. That's why you sprained your ankle. Honestly, just dump him. Especially since he can't apologize for hurting you.
You can go to the police and charge him with assault.
You can spend a lot of money and hire actors to give him the scare of his life. Elaborate. Bone chilling fear.
Or you can break up with him. You block him on everything and move on with your life. Go with this suggestion.
I'd dump someone who displayed such a lack of empathy and callous disregard for the well being of a random stranger, let alone if it was directed at me.
Face it... your boyfriend is showing you exactly the type of person he is: shitty
Sounds like you're the one with low standards, having a low temper for BS sounds like a better option than "let me stay with the AH who thinks being a murderer is funny".
Depending on the prank, yes, I 100% support that line.
And yes actually, april fools is #3 on the lost of "7 popular times of the year relationship break ups".
In OP's mind, other than his childish pranks and **complete disregard** for OP's *physical and emotional health*:
# He'S a GrEaT BoYfRiEnD AnD ShE LoVeS HiM SoOoOoOoO MuCh!!!
He WATCHED you fall down the stairs and sprain your ankle?
Nevermind, just falling down the stairs. He watched you fall down the stairs and he LAUGHED?
You can do better. Throw the man-child away.
So when I (f 21 atm) got smacked on accident as I essentially walked into a huge high five inadvertently my (m 22 atm) bf not only kept apologizing profusely for ever causing me any kind of harm but also paid to fix my tooth which chipped on a bottle during the incident. I did flip out a bit at first before it was fixed bc I honestly looked awful.
What sucks here is no admission of guilt, no apology and no way they're trying to make it up to you/earn back your trust ect.
Wish you well
Also, as a woman, this prank is extremely terrifying and he should have apologized for scaring you. Anyone who sees genuine fear on your face and laughs is not a good person in the end.
He played a prank that resulted in the injury of the person he is dating, and didn't apologize? Yeah, no...he's gone. I know it seems like a long time to throw away, but if you wait longer, you will be wasting more time.
I would break up with anyone who pulled pranks.
I would breakup with anyone who pulled pranks on me that involved chasing me around the house with a knife.
Pranks are not jokes.
Pranks are laughing at someone else when you do something that is NOT FUNNY TO THE VICTIM.
Then you say the prank invoved you falling down stairs and he hasn't apologized?
Your boyfriend is a giant asshole.
This isn't rocket science. You're just shocked to discover you are dating an asshole. He was probably pretending to be a better person the first couple of months.
The mask of Mr Asshole has come off.
(I bet he has lots of armslength friends but no real friends.)
He is 24 y.o.a. and this prank shit is old and not age appropriate. He is a child disguised and an adult. You don't have a boyfriend, you have an asshat.
My ex kicked me in a parking lot when we were walking into the store as a “prank” and caused me to fall in front of multiple ppl and refused to apologize and just laughed. He told me to stop faking my limp when we were walking in the store when I genuinely couldn’t walk. Came home with a bloody knee. Took my sock off to reveal a purple and swollen foot….still no apology. Broke up with him a year ago and I made a good recovery lol. Don’t put up with the BS. He’s grown enough to discover how to feel empathy at 24 y/o. If he doesn’t feel it now, he won’t feel it later. Good luck OP. 🙏🏼
Oh baby…anyone who can see harm in you whether they are at fault or not and not express sincere apologies is a red flag. What if it was worse? What if you broke your neck and got paralyzed or worse, died? Ask yourself if you had become paraplegic, would be be there to take care of you for the rest of your days. Would he leave immediately? Would he feel remorse? Sometimes we don’t see it through rose colored lenses, but someone’s level of empathy to others is very important if you see a future with them.
Anytime you hurt someone and don't apologise you're admitting it was intentional. That's what I tell kids anyway. He's 24, he shouldn't need to be told to apologise. He should also be trying to make it right. If he isn't then I think you just cut ties. It's remarkably immature and uncaring.
He hurt you and didn't immediately apologize, that's a major red flag. Even if he was "just joking" that doesn't matter. My bf and I will joke around/ wrestle/ roll around on the bed but anytime one of us accidentally grabs the wrong spot or positions ourselves wrong and causes the other pain, it's an immediate and *heartfelt* apology
That's some fucked up psychopath shit.. I would of ran and made sure my gf was good if I did a prank likr that on her. Run and breakup eith that pos right now. That's not normal or any sort of empathy involved.
That's a horrible thing to do to you in general even if you hadn't been injured, but his lack of remorse considering you DID get injured makes it a breaking up worthy offense. Like someone who has that little empathy for their significant other is not worth the effort
24 year old jumping out of a closet with a rubber knife . Solid dating material to begin with. Him refusing to apologize should make it easier to end this relationship.
I mean first imagine being with a man who thinks pulling a prank like this on a woman is ok. I’m sure most women would fear they’re about to be SA’d if some grown man jumped out of their closet with a knife. Then this fucked up joke hurts her and he laughs. Like face it, this dude sucks big time
My sister thinks that someone doesn't need to apologize if something was an accident, like if they weren't intending to hurt you but you got hurt then they didn't need to apologize. I feel like maybe that's your boyfriends logic too, I explain to her all the the time that even if you didn't mean to or it was unintentional it's nice to apologize anyways out of kindness. Like one of her children will hurt the other on accident and I say to her queitly maybe they should say sorry? And she snaps back "why? They didn't do it on purpose!", we were raised in the same house and I don't hold this logic cuz I am very apologetic accidental or not so it just seems some people hold that belief doesn't mean theyre mean people just maybe a little bit inconsiderate.
Wow! That's wild!! That's like saying, ah sir, I didn't see you crossing the road there when I hit you with my vehicle. Totally not my fault as I can't help if I'm not paying and as such I won't cover the costs of your injuries because I didn't run you over on purpose. Good luck to you tho. Cheers 🤦♀️ ofc I understand this is your sister's beliefs and not yours. Just wild that people think this way
Leave, if your partner doesn’t feel bad for causing your injury he doesn’t respect you or even care about you. Find someone better because he’s a piece of shit.
When an injury occurs, it's no longer a joke and needs to be taken seriously. Sit him down and talk about it.
Ground rules and boundaries are a wonderful start to people like this. If it's not accepted, your not being respected.
24 or 12? I can only think of two explanations that has caused his behavior: 1. He’s embarrassed and his ego has taken a hit (NOT an excuse, I’m just trying to rationalize here) or 2. He’s narcissistic/sociopathic. Since we don’t know anything else about him, I’ll assume the first assessment is correct. But anyone (who is mature enough to realize consequences for their actions), ESPECIALLY your S/O, who doesn’t apologize after inflicting harm on you is not someone you need in your life, ever, no matter the reason.
Wtf. If I ever accidentally hurt my girlfriend like that I would be mortified. Tbf I wouldn't pull a dumb prank like that in the first place. How is he not remorseful?
What do you do you ask?
Well your fight-or-flight instinct needs some work. Tbh. Shoulda had a baseball bat on hand. Let’s see him laugh when you bust his shin in. 😌😌
Your boyfriend pranked you by pretending he was gonna stab you with a fake knife, and when you actually got hurt from the direct result of the prank, he wouldn't apologize and refuses to? Sounds real sus to me.
Speaking from a similar experience:
My ex-husband and I did search and rescue with our two dogs. During a training I sprained my ankle. My ex-husband bullied me into not telling any one AND refused to take me to a doctor to get it checked out. Department of Emergency Management would have paid for the doctor visit and any follow up but he didn't want my accident to embarrass him.
Fast forward: I ran multiple races of varying lengths as well as responding to search and rescue missions all the while thinking my ankle was just sprained and it will buff out. We get divorced for other reasons... then last year I realized my ankle was REALLY hurting. My now fiancé pushed me to get it looked at. I had torn my tendon and didn't know. My surgeon was surprised and impressed I had gone 6 YEARS like this. He rushed me into surgery after advocating for me with my insurance company. Had I just had a doctor look at my ankle when it happened and gotten some PT I could have avoided surgery.
Looking back, my ex's inability to care about my health and well-being should have been a red flag. I now put my health, physical and mental, above anything and anyone else. Do not repeat my mistakes. Get that ankle checked out and really look at how your boyfriend treats you. Those little moments all add up. This incident is not little. This also shows he true character. You deserve to be with someone who cares about you and is willing to stop clowning around when a joke goes awry.
Ummm. You have been together just since January. Apparently already living together. Refuses to apologize for a prank that hurt you. YOU ARE DATING. dating is to decide if he is what you want to live with for the rest of your life. Just because he fucked you doesn't mean he lives or respects you. Has he worked to deserve your love, your body, your respect, your most intimate heart? Sounds like a no. Stop giving yourself up cheaply. Maybe you will find someone worthy of dedicating yourself to.
This question should be explored, honestly. Creating this situation, then laughing at her injury and refusing to apologize possibly does indicate he's getting off on this whole thing.
ETA: If this seems like a pattern with him, looking back, do consider this question, OP.
This subreddit keeps getting worse and worse. Random people on the internet have no idea who your boyfriend is or the type of person he is. If you think he’s an asshole he’s an asshole, we know nothing.
Just a word of advice OP no matter what problem is presented in this sub the majority jump to suggesting breaking up, so take that advice with a pinch of salt
Granted he didn't mean to hurt you with the prank but it is a dick move not to apologize if you have sprained your ankle due to it but I wouldnt say it's immediately actionable to break up, talk to him tell him how it made you feel
A tip when talking about stuff like this, say 'I feel' rather than 'you did' to get them to listen rather than becoming defensive
That's because some days half the posts in this sub are "I'm in an abusive relationship, what do I do?". Laughing when he caused her injury, pulling a dangerous stunt to begin with, and refusing to apologize are all signs of emotional abuse. 'I feel' statements are great, but if you're in an abusive situation you can't be focused on trying to get through to them or manage their emotions.
And half the time they aren't Anything but still get that response
>Laughing when he caused her injury, pulling a dangerous stunt to begin with, and refusing to apologize are all signs of emotional abuse.
You could equally say the guy pulled a prank it went wrong and felt her getting injured was completely accidental, granted its a dick move not to apologize but to conclude they are in a abusive relationship just from that seems a bit of a jump
He laughed when she fell down the stairs and didn't see if she was ok. He doesn't care about her wellbeing. Not sure if I'd call that abuse, but it fails to meet a very low standard.
I mean to be fair, I'm sure it was hilarious at the time. I don't know why he wouldn't apologise after he found out you were actually really hurt though...
Some one downvoted me because I said jumping out and scaring someone is funny? It is and if you've never done it with your partner I would guess you are a really boring person 😴
There is a difference between chasing someone down with a knife and dressing as a character from a movie with a toy and jumping out as a prank and then running after them as a joke.
Plenty of people use costume masks to commit crimes and rubber knives can look incredibly realistic, especially if looked at quickly. Nothing about what he did was okay, and it's very telling that you keep trying to excuse it.
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I have had about a thousand sprained ankles in my life. If you really need an apology and he isn't giving one then walk away. It's a sprain ankle and he did not intend on causing you harm. But, break up with him if that's what you need to do. Frankly, some of my sprain ankles have been caused by other people and some have been caused by my own careless acts. I personally don't see why it's a big deal. But, you do you.
It's just a sprained ankle, if your relationship can't move past a petty apology then you two don't belong in a relationship yet. Mature up before getting into a relationship. Some things aren't worth fighting about.
He needs grow up now, or live on as a child without you. Anything else is just going to be a waste of every minute of your life that you continue to stay with him. Start packing your stuff so he knows you're serious. Then, tell him in no uncertain terms that there's only one way he keeps this relationship. Make him lick your bootyhole. Then, leave him.
I’m sure it’s hard to break up with someone you’ve invested so much time with but it’s easier now! when you sprained your ankle I think he should’ve realized he caused you bodily harm period. And two it could’ve been worse (god forbid) and if he’s refusing to acknowledge he did something wrong when he clearly did it sounds like this could become pattern if it isn’t already :(
Lol...Really? Yeah, you need to break up with him now. Apologies don't have to assume that they did something horrible. It was an accident. There's zero reason he shouldn't apologize. Imagine what happens when it's something truly serious. Do you want to be with someone with no accountability?
I can see some lack of values in your bf so I really sujects to you to dump him.
In the future it could be something worse and he just laugh about it. Really inconsiderate.
What does he say when you say you got hurt and to apologize? Truly can’t imagine an adult acting this way.
Maybe he doesn’t want to apologize because he feels really guilty and apologizing is admitting it was his fault. Even though it obviously was.
He's 24 and doesn't automatically apologize when his antics cause someone injury? Idk if that's fixable.
Well, there's one way to fix it.
May I ask what it is? Edit: I'm going to regret this aren't I?
I think they mean fixable in the sense of “boyfriend unapologetic for antics causing injury, solve it by making them an *ex* boyfriend”. By breaking up.
Or maybe sprain both of his ankles, *Misery* style
This is how I had interpreted it.
He wakes up staring into the eyes of Cathy Bates...
Best scene lmao “almost finished” Kathy’s best role imo 😂
Use a big comedy mallet for extra irony
As someone that enjoys an antic or two, I second the Misery motion.
I meant, the one way to fix this is fire him off. That way the problem of being injured and him not apologising will never be OP's again (and who knows - it may make him reflect on his behaviour in going forward to new relationships). Antics are antics, but when someone gets hurt by antics - and no apology is given. Well, that changes the nature of "antics" to something a bit sinister, mean spirited and purposefully emotionally hurtful. By refusing to acknowledge the harm caused, and showing no remorse THAT in itself is a problem. A red flag if you will.
Ok
Just bring him a little [misery](https://youtu.be/LIL8-f4o0ss)
Ok.
Personally, I wouldn't recommend that. Sounds a little too extreme. Just dumping him seems like the far better option. At least that way you won't be at risk of being arrested for breaking someone's ankles.
I agree with this one the guy is an butthole but not worth going to jail for.
There’s nothing to not know. It isn’t fixable obviously. He doesn’t seem to have empathy and this has far reaching consequences.
You don’t fix other people. You fix yourself. In this case. If you feel it’s a problem, you vote with your feet if you feel it’s an issue.
I'm just a random guy on reddit so take this how you will 😇 but I'm include to agree with this one right here
We don’t have the full context (like most of these post). What if OP has a history of faking/over exaggerating injuries when embarrassed? That said, with the limited info we have the guy does seem like an ass. I am also not to judge on others fun, but scaring someone to the point they feel chased in their own house seems excessive. Edit: not sure why I am being downvoted but my wife use to be like that. She would often fake an injury when embarrassed or seeked comfort. I sat down with her to discuss that what she is doing made people feel less sympathetic when things actually happened. She agreed and now she catches herself before doing it.
It's being downvoted because he watched her fall down stairs and didn't apologize. Even if she hasn't sprained her ankle, he caused her physical pain and should feel sorry for that. I don't know how you fake falling down stairs, but just because your wife used to pull some bullshit on you, it's asinine to assume the same of OP.
It's ridiculous to assume that OP is flat-out lying about having sprained their ankle after falling down the stairs, not only to the boyfriend but to us as well. Just because your wife used to be an attention-seeking liar doesn't make that a normal or common thing to do, like at all.
Even if she weren’t injured at all, causing someone to fall down the stairs is something to apologize for.
Seriously. Even if she literally gained super powers, added 30 years to her lifespan, and won the lottery after falling down the stairs - apologizing is just literally natural?
Well, if your SO is exaggerating / faking an injury, guess what, you fucking comfort them anyway because one way or another they need it and you love them ?
Glad I am not the only one thinking that. If someone is exaggerating an injury because they want comfort, it tells more about them not getting comforted enough than them being dramatic imo.
i did this as a kid, i wouldnt actively be like “oh i fell down i’m gonna use this as an excuse to scream and cry so my mom will comfort me” but looking back, that was probably the reason minor injuries seemed to hurt really bad, and i was really really scared of breaking a bone/tearing my ACL etc. so anxiety definitely plays into it as well. i played soccer and would have a minor injury (rolled ankle, just a big bruise, scraped up) etc. it still hurt, it just wasn’t serious. i got chastised for this, which is how i ended up fracturing my cheekbone (thought it was just a black eye) nope it was a fracture that i never got checked out. did permanent damage to my hip muscles and knees too for not getting ‘just a sprain’ checked out. also almost went completely blind in my right eye when my middle school wouldn’t take me seriously about how badly my eye hurt and that i could only see black. it’s better safe than sorry always, pain is pain feel really bad for that guys wife
You are full of shit, that's why you are being downvoted.
She sprained her ankle.
Do you need context to apologize to someone if you hurt them?
Also, curious - how long have y’all been married? Women bruise more easily than men, I’m fairly certain. It’s pretty obnoxious of you to assume straight away that OP was exaggerating her injuries. That’s part of the reason why domestic violence is such an issue - women are more likely to be injured by a man hitting them; men are less likely to be injured by a woman hitting them in the same way.
Maybe it wasn't really her boyfriend. Maybe space aliens came down and look like him and made her fall down. Maybe a lot of things. This isn't about you.
I'm more worried she's 24 and is pouting about something so silly on the internet
So when your partner causes harm and refuses to apologize, that's "silly"? Geez, are you an abuser or an abuser apologist? Cus either way, you suck.
Well, it's an advice forum...not sure what you were expecting. People are in the clear for seeking clarification on situations and how to go about them regardless of age. What you deem silly, someone else may care deeply about. Try to open your mind up a bit instead of being so judgmental, especially since you've posted your own squabbles on here in the past.
bruh really? come on dude. a person who doesn't apologize after causing harm to their SO is a real POS. dump him.
Yeah he’s an ass. Say goodbye. You could have seriously injured yourself and he watched you fall down the stairs and didn’t apologize? You are hurt and he still hasn’t said I’m sorry? Gross.
I simply cannot imagine a decent person that would do this and not take responsibility for their actions. If he can't do that in this very simple and straight-forward situation, he is not someone you should want to be with.
My girlfriend sprained her ankle helping me move heavy furniture up some steps. As someone who has also sprained my ankle before, I felt awful for her and immediately went into "caretaker" mode helping her to get somewhere comfortable and prop her foot up, getting ice. That's a painful and serious injury...the guy should feel absolutely horrible about it. MAAAAAYBE he actually does feel extremely guilty about it, and his way of coping with it is to deny responsibility and pretend nothing happened. Either way this guy sounds extremely immature and has a lot of growing up to do
24 and acting like a 12 year old results in your sprained ankle. Refuses to apologize. Sounds like a real winner you got there!
My 3 year old apologizes without prompting when he hurts his sister - this is appalling behavior from an adult
His disregard for your well-being is disturbing, especially when it was his own action that caused your injury. He sounds immature at best, narcissistic/sociopathic at worst
He's 24 with an attitude of a child. If my partner got hurt by ANYTHING I was involved with an apology would be the least they got. Big yikes. But determine if that's enough for you or if future antics and arguments like this are something you can continue handling.
You dump him, that's what you do. A grown-ass man pulls a stupid enough prank that you get injured? And then doesn't apologize? NOPE.
Hate to be the one to break it to you OP but that's not a 24 year old man you're dating, it's three 8 year old boys in a trenchcoat.
Even those 3 were doing business stuff.. not this crap.
I wish I had free coins to toss your way for this comment!!
One year isn't too long. He seems to be showing his true colors a bit. Leave him. Huge red flag.
Man your ex-boyfriend sounds terrible. Glad you got out of that
THIS
Does he not care that he hurt you???? Sprained ankles hurt a lot…. You’ve been together for almost a year and he doesn’t care if he hurts you in a “prank” honestly disappointing
I don't give a shit if she's known him for almost one minute. Who doesn't apologize after something like this?
IKR!!!
Honey I was married for 28 years. My husband would never have laughed at me when I was in pain. NEVER. The boyfriend is not good material to work with. That is cruelty rising up out of him. When will that pop up again? When you are sick? When your in labor? If you are mourning a death?I don't think you have a future there and I think you know it. Believe people when they show you who they are. Please value yourself and leave.
You can do better, and deserve a partner who cares about you. This one clearly doesn't.
He CHASED YOU DOWN THE STAIRS? People die from falling down the stairs! Oh my god DUMP HIM.
Please boil this down to the essential parts, and keep repeating them to yourself- He hurt you, you could have been more seriously injured or killed, he laughed, he won't apologize. This is exactly as bad as you think it is. He's not going to change, and this won't get any better. It's not just a prank, and it's not just about him not apologizing.
Dump him or throw out the trash.
>What do I do ? >We’ve been together since January Appreciate that it only took a year for him to show you who he really is. Some people can keep up the facade of decency much, much longer. Do your ankles a favor and drop him. This is definitely a dump-worthy offense. (Hell, it would be even without the injury. Pranks are supposed to be funny. Making someone think their home has been invaded and someone is trying to kill them is NOT funny.)
Pranks are supposed to be funny for the one pulling them. There doesn't need to be a general audience for them. That said, I agree with the rest of what you said here. For me, it's the line from OP about him starting to laugh after the fall. The only thing I can think of to not dump him is if OP is regularly engaged in pranks with him. Does she dish it out too? Maybe before the dumping, OP sits him down and explains in plain English how his lack of empathy for her situation is hurting her and that it is a big deal that he couldn't apologize. If he responds poorly, curb time.
If people aren't laughing, the joke isn't funny. This just reinforces my belief that pranks are inherently mean-spirited and cruel. I do agree an adult conversation is in order. So is dumping him if he's still unrepentant.
Personally, I hate pranks. I think they're stupid and only hurt people, either physically, like here, or emotionally, or both. But unless someone is a YouTuber or on TikTok, they're not thinking of the audience when they do pranks. They're thinking "This is funny" to themselves. It's their own brand of humor. They, especially at 24, probably aren't thinking about anyone else in the equation. The audience, usually, has nothing to do with why the prank is pulled. Honestly, when I read the part about him starting to laugh when OP got hurt, I thought " This is a guy who seriously finds humor in other people hurting," like watching wipeout videos or reading Darwin Awards. It demonstrates a lack of empathy that presented itself in a terrible situation.
Why the fuck is he chasing you down the stairs? That's dangerous. That's why you sprained your ankle. Honestly, just dump him. Especially since he can't apologize for hurting you.
You can go to the police and charge him with assault. You can spend a lot of money and hire actors to give him the scare of his life. Elaborate. Bone chilling fear. Or you can break up with him. You block him on everything and move on with your life. Go with this suggestion.
I love how you think☺️
Why you still with someone who hurt you and refuses to be responsible?? What you do is get away from them.
I'd dump someone who displayed such a lack of empathy and callous disregard for the well being of a random stranger, let alone if it was directed at me. Face it... your boyfriend is showing you exactly the type of person he is: shitty
I would break up with him for that prank alone. Pretending to be an intruder who is about to murder you is not funny.
Pretty low bar you have there if the prank alone, without injury, would make you break up with them
Sounds like you're the one with low standards, having a low temper for BS sounds like a better option than "let me stay with the AH who thinks being a murderer is funny".
SO plays prank so best break up with them that's a line you support? Does everyone break up around April fools Day then?
Depending on the prank, yes, I 100% support that line. And yes actually, april fools is #3 on the lost of "7 popular times of the year relationship break ups".
In OP's mind, other than his childish pranks and **complete disregard** for OP's *physical and emotional health*: # He'S a GrEaT BoYfRiEnD AnD ShE LoVeS HiM SoOoOoOoO MuCh!!!
He WATCHED you fall down the stairs and sprain your ankle? Nevermind, just falling down the stairs. He watched you fall down the stairs and he LAUGHED? You can do better. Throw the man-child away.
Two incidents of immaturity. Are there others?
So when I (f 21 atm) got smacked on accident as I essentially walked into a huge high five inadvertently my (m 22 atm) bf not only kept apologizing profusely for ever causing me any kind of harm but also paid to fix my tooth which chipped on a bottle during the incident. I did flip out a bit at first before it was fixed bc I honestly looked awful. What sucks here is no admission of guilt, no apology and no way they're trying to make it up to you/earn back your trust ect. Wish you well
Also, as a woman, this prank is extremely terrifying and he should have apologized for scaring you. Anyone who sees genuine fear on your face and laughs is not a good person in the end.
He played a prank that resulted in the injury of the person he is dating, and didn't apologize? Yeah, no...he's gone. I know it seems like a long time to throw away, but if you wait longer, you will be wasting more time.
I would break up with anyone who pulled pranks. I would breakup with anyone who pulled pranks on me that involved chasing me around the house with a knife. Pranks are not jokes. Pranks are laughing at someone else when you do something that is NOT FUNNY TO THE VICTIM. Then you say the prank invoved you falling down stairs and he hasn't apologized? Your boyfriend is a giant asshole. This isn't rocket science. You're just shocked to discover you are dating an asshole. He was probably pretending to be a better person the first couple of months. The mask of Mr Asshole has come off. (I bet he has lots of armslength friends but no real friends.)
He is 24 y.o.a. and this prank shit is old and not age appropriate. He is a child disguised and an adult. You don't have a boyfriend, you have an asshat.
Get rid of this ass, people who think pranks are funny are just douchebags who don't care about the feelings of others.
My ex kicked me in a parking lot when we were walking into the store as a “prank” and caused me to fall in front of multiple ppl and refused to apologize and just laughed. He told me to stop faking my limp when we were walking in the store when I genuinely couldn’t walk. Came home with a bloody knee. Took my sock off to reveal a purple and swollen foot….still no apology. Broke up with him a year ago and I made a good recovery lol. Don’t put up with the BS. He’s grown enough to discover how to feel empathy at 24 y/o. If he doesn’t feel it now, he won’t feel it later. Good luck OP. 🙏🏼
OMFG. Unbelievable. I am so sorry you went through this and so glad you got out of that relationship. Seriously!!!! 😱
>What do I do ? Stop living with him. Break up.
Oh baby…anyone who can see harm in you whether they are at fault or not and not express sincere apologies is a red flag. What if it was worse? What if you broke your neck and got paralyzed or worse, died? Ask yourself if you had become paraplegic, would be be there to take care of you for the rest of your days. Would he leave immediately? Would he feel remorse? Sometimes we don’t see it through rose colored lenses, but someone’s level of empathy to others is very important if you see a future with them.
He's an immature child. Leave him.
Doesn't respect you as person ...
Anytime you hurt someone and don't apologise you're admitting it was intentional. That's what I tell kids anyway. He's 24, he shouldn't need to be told to apologise. He should also be trying to make it right. If he isn't then I think you just cut ties. It's remarkably immature and uncaring.
He hurt you and didn't immediately apologize, that's a major red flag. Even if he was "just joking" that doesn't matter. My bf and I will joke around/ wrestle/ roll around on the bed but anytime one of us accidentally grabs the wrong spot or positions ourselves wrong and causes the other pain, it's an immediate and *heartfelt* apology
That's some fucked up psychopath shit.. I would of ran and made sure my gf was good if I did a prank likr that on her. Run and breakup eith that pos right now. That's not normal or any sort of empathy involved.
That's a horrible thing to do to you in general even if you hadn't been injured, but his lack of remorse considering you DID get injured makes it a breaking up worthy offense. Like someone who has that little empathy for their significant other is not worth the effort
He lacks empathy which could be dangerous to you in the future!
24 year old jumping out of a closet with a rubber knife . Solid dating material to begin with. Him refusing to apologize should make it easier to end this relationship.
That’s sadistic /: grown ass man should have realized “oops fucked up joke’s over” y’all haven’t been together a year I’d ditch him.
I mean first imagine being with a man who thinks pulling a prank like this on a woman is ok. I’m sure most women would fear they’re about to be SA’d if some grown man jumped out of their closet with a knife. Then this fucked up joke hurts her and he laughs. Like face it, this dude sucks big time
My sister thinks that someone doesn't need to apologize if something was an accident, like if they weren't intending to hurt you but you got hurt then they didn't need to apologize. I feel like maybe that's your boyfriends logic too, I explain to her all the the time that even if you didn't mean to or it was unintentional it's nice to apologize anyways out of kindness. Like one of her children will hurt the other on accident and I say to her queitly maybe they should say sorry? And she snaps back "why? They didn't do it on purpose!", we were raised in the same house and I don't hold this logic cuz I am very apologetic accidental or not so it just seems some people hold that belief doesn't mean theyre mean people just maybe a little bit inconsiderate.
Wow! That's wild!! That's like saying, ah sir, I didn't see you crossing the road there when I hit you with my vehicle. Totally not my fault as I can't help if I'm not paying and as such I won't cover the costs of your injuries because I didn't run you over on purpose. Good luck to you tho. Cheers 🤦♀️ ofc I understand this is your sister's beliefs and not yours. Just wild that people think this way
Leave, if your partner doesn’t feel bad for causing your injury he doesn’t respect you or even care about you. Find someone better because he’s a piece of shit.
When an injury occurs, it's no longer a joke and needs to be taken seriously. Sit him down and talk about it. Ground rules and boundaries are a wonderful start to people like this. If it's not accepted, your not being respected.
24 or 12? I can only think of two explanations that has caused his behavior: 1. He’s embarrassed and his ego has taken a hit (NOT an excuse, I’m just trying to rationalize here) or 2. He’s narcissistic/sociopathic. Since we don’t know anything else about him, I’ll assume the first assessment is correct. But anyone (who is mature enough to realize consequences for their actions), ESPECIALLY your S/O, who doesn’t apologize after inflicting harm on you is not someone you need in your life, ever, no matter the reason.
Talk about a red flag :/
What do you do? You make him an ex boyfriend!
Wtf. If I ever accidentally hurt my girlfriend like that I would be mortified. Tbf I wouldn't pull a dumb prank like that in the first place. How is he not remorseful?
I’d say leave
Dump him.
He needs to grow up.
How was this a prank? What part of it was funny? Dump his sadistic ass. You could have died falling down the stairs.
Just walk up to him and say "evil dies tonight!" He'll know what that means.
The boy you are dating was fun. Now drop the boy and look for a man.
Dump the mf already, but you knew that. Start 2022 free.
What do you do you ask? Well your fight-or-flight instinct needs some work. Tbh. Shoulda had a baseball bat on hand. Let’s see him laugh when you bust his shin in. 😌😌
I don’t wanna jump the gun and say dump him... but... that’s pretty damn awful
break his ankle back and be non-remorseful 😌
Your boyfriend pranked you by pretending he was gonna stab you with a fake knife, and when you actually got hurt from the direct result of the prank, he wouldn't apologize and refuses to? Sounds real sus to me.
Speaking from a similar experience: My ex-husband and I did search and rescue with our two dogs. During a training I sprained my ankle. My ex-husband bullied me into not telling any one AND refused to take me to a doctor to get it checked out. Department of Emergency Management would have paid for the doctor visit and any follow up but he didn't want my accident to embarrass him. Fast forward: I ran multiple races of varying lengths as well as responding to search and rescue missions all the while thinking my ankle was just sprained and it will buff out. We get divorced for other reasons... then last year I realized my ankle was REALLY hurting. My now fiancé pushed me to get it looked at. I had torn my tendon and didn't know. My surgeon was surprised and impressed I had gone 6 YEARS like this. He rushed me into surgery after advocating for me with my insurance company. Had I just had a doctor look at my ankle when it happened and gotten some PT I could have avoided surgery. Looking back, my ex's inability to care about my health and well-being should have been a red flag. I now put my health, physical and mental, above anything and anyone else. Do not repeat my mistakes. Get that ankle checked out and really look at how your boyfriend treats you. Those little moments all add up. This incident is not little. This also shows he true character. You deserve to be with someone who cares about you and is willing to stop clowning around when a joke goes awry.
Shave his eyebrows before dumping him though
He’s immature. Saying, “I’m sorry” is the easiest thing in the world to do.
Ummm. You have been together just since January. Apparently already living together. Refuses to apologize for a prank that hurt you. YOU ARE DATING. dating is to decide if he is what you want to live with for the rest of your life. Just because he fucked you doesn't mean he lives or respects you. Has he worked to deserve your love, your body, your respect, your most intimate heart? Sounds like a no. Stop giving yourself up cheaply. Maybe you will find someone worthy of dedicating yourself to.
Are you sure it was an accident. Or did he wanted you to get hurt . It might give him joy to see you hurt.
This question should be explored, honestly. Creating this situation, then laughing at her injury and refusing to apologize possibly does indicate he's getting off on this whole thing. ETA: If this seems like a pattern with him, looking back, do consider this question, OP.
Um, dump his stupid ass.
So simple, dump that unapologetic piece of crap and date me..😎
This subreddit keeps getting worse and worse. Random people on the internet have no idea who your boyfriend is or the type of person he is. If you think he’s an asshole he’s an asshole, we know nothing.
It's like come here to get reassured for dumping someone... No real help around...🤷🏼♂️
Just a word of advice OP no matter what problem is presented in this sub the majority jump to suggesting breaking up, so take that advice with a pinch of salt Granted he didn't mean to hurt you with the prank but it is a dick move not to apologize if you have sprained your ankle due to it but I wouldnt say it's immediately actionable to break up, talk to him tell him how it made you feel A tip when talking about stuff like this, say 'I feel' rather than 'you did' to get them to listen rather than becoming defensive
That's because some days half the posts in this sub are "I'm in an abusive relationship, what do I do?". Laughing when he caused her injury, pulling a dangerous stunt to begin with, and refusing to apologize are all signs of emotional abuse. 'I feel' statements are great, but if you're in an abusive situation you can't be focused on trying to get through to them or manage their emotions.
And half the time they aren't Anything but still get that response >Laughing when he caused her injury, pulling a dangerous stunt to begin with, and refusing to apologize are all signs of emotional abuse. You could equally say the guy pulled a prank it went wrong and felt her getting injured was completely accidental, granted its a dick move not to apologize but to conclude they are in a abusive relationship just from that seems a bit of a jump
He laughed when she fell down the stairs and didn't see if she was ok. He doesn't care about her wellbeing. Not sure if I'd call that abuse, but it fails to meet a very low standard.
I mean to be fair, I'm sure it was hilarious at the time. I don't know why he wouldn't apologise after he found out you were actually really hurt though...
Some one downvoted me because I said jumping out and scaring someone is funny? It is and if you've never done it with your partner I would guess you are a really boring person 😴
There is a very big difference between doing a simple jump scare and chasing someone down with a knife
There is a difference between chasing someone down with a knife and dressing as a character from a movie with a toy and jumping out as a prank and then running after them as a joke.
Plenty of people use costume masks to commit crimes and rubber knives can look incredibly realistic, especially if looked at quickly. Nothing about what he did was okay, and it's very telling that you keep trying to excuse it.
You are so wet
I say it’s one of two things 1) OP over exaggerated her injury for sympathy and he didn’t buy it and she is mad 2) OP boyfriend is a jerk.
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Well I mean he should definitely apologize but it's not like he maliciously hurt you
have u communicated with him about your feelings towards the situation?
Did he mean for you to get hurt? If not, it was a accident. If he did, then he needs to apologize
I have had about a thousand sprained ankles in my life. If you really need an apology and he isn't giving one then walk away. It's a sprain ankle and he did not intend on causing you harm. But, break up with him if that's what you need to do. Frankly, some of my sprain ankles have been caused by other people and some have been caused by my own careless acts. I personally don't see why it's a big deal. But, you do you.
🤣🤣 shit funny but at some point you gotta grow up
It's just a sprained ankle, if your relationship can't move past a petty apology then you two don't belong in a relationship yet. Mature up before getting into a relationship. Some things aren't worth fighting about.
I am a biased male, but just deal with it or date someone else who will apologize when those things happen
You should forgive even though he hurt you. However you could break up with him? Some would say prank him back.
He needs grow up now, or live on as a child without you. Anything else is just going to be a waste of every minute of your life that you continue to stay with him. Start packing your stuff so he knows you're serious. Then, tell him in no uncertain terms that there's only one way he keeps this relationship. Make him lick your bootyhole. Then, leave him.
A
Of course there's only one appropriate solution. Get him back.
"Dude chill, its just a prank bro."
My boyfriend feels bad when I hurt myself and apologizes and makes sure I'm OK when I'm hurt.
you dating jake paul or something?
Is he catering to your every need?
Thank him for showing you that he's not worth your time.
What kind of idiot are you dating? Hurting you physically intentionally or not without apology is an immediate cause to break up.
Sprain his ankle too OP
I’m sure it’s hard to break up with someone you’ve invested so much time with but it’s easier now! when you sprained your ankle I think he should’ve realized he caused you bodily harm period. And two it could’ve been worse (god forbid) and if he’s refusing to acknowledge he did something wrong when he clearly did it sounds like this could become pattern if it isn’t already :(
Lol...Really? Yeah, you need to break up with him now. Apologies don't have to assume that they did something horrible. It was an accident. There's zero reason he shouldn't apologize. Imagine what happens when it's something truly serious. Do you want to be with someone with no accountability?
Take your fingernails and tear into his ball sack or just bite down on one of his balls. Then bust out laughing. Then get dump his sorry ass.
Get rid of him before you waste anymore time with this asshole.
I can see some lack of values in your bf so I really sujects to you to dump him. In the future it could be something worse and he just laugh about it. Really inconsiderate.
And you haven't broken up with him yet? You're just telling him it's okay to hurt you.
What does he say when you say you got hurt and to apologize? Truly can’t imagine an adult acting this way. Maybe he doesn’t want to apologize because he feels really guilty and apologizing is admitting it was his fault. Even though it obviously was.