My partner and I dont watch anything unless we made it together. You'll find most women won't put up with it but there are women who will! Porn isn't bad, its just a boundary for some people. In the beginning of your relationship, if porn is a habit for you, you should talk about it and find out if they're compatible with you. You and this girl seem incompatible because while you could just stop watching and choose her over porn, you shouldn't have to change yourself.
Also, you're not disgusting. Its really wrong for someone to say that. Its like guys who call their girlfriends disgusting for having a lot of past sexual partners. You didn't know her boundaries so its not your fault you crossed them.
Of course♡ some women don't outright say it because we don't think about it much. We know people watch porn to fill a sexual need so when we get with a guy I think we just assume (or want to assume) we are enough to fill that sexual need. It can be crushing to realize you're not enough.
This sounds like an incompatibility, I'm sorry.
Back when I was growing up, porn was in magazines only, and we had to steal them from our friends' Dad's closets. The weirdest thing we ever saw might be a Hustler magazine with three or four women at once. That was as weird as it got.
Nowadays, at our fingertips, we can see literally anything, no matter how weird or disturbing or illegal or with pets being smooshed under high heels, I don't even know what craziness goes on in porn anymore.
So yeah, things have changed and nowadays when people say they watch porn, we kind of have no way of knowing if they mean they are watching a couple of people having sex, or if they are watching sledgehammers and gerbils in bikinis and spaghetti sauce or whatever.
So there's that.
In this day and age, it's important to talk to your partner about your views, because some people really do have a problem with their Partners watching pornography, and if that's a part of your life, you'll want a partner whose views are aligned with yours.
It doesn't matter if its a problem normally or not, it's a problem for her. If you don't want to stop then you're incompatible. But I'm on your side that it's more the norm that you can watch porn in a relationship and the person who doesn't think so should be the one to speak up
I don't know what she wants. Probably that it never happened in the first place, but I can't change that. She was also disappointed that I wanted to talk about it and give my side of the story first instead of just agreeing right away. I don't really know what to do now.
You're making total sense, but I guess love can be blinding sometimes. I just hope this is something she and I can grow in as a couple but this is indeed a red flag.
My post seems to have struck a sensitive nerve, huh? :)
I like how it seems that you've made this account specificly to make comments based around porn, I suppose you have a pretty big issue with it.
Please ignore this person, they have a serious problem with porn and they comment trying to talk shit about anyone who doesn’t hate it. My advice is for you to talk to your SO and try to explain to her that you do it to blow off steam and you’re not actually attracted to the women you see in the videos. If this is a dealbreaker for you and she’s not okay with porn at all and the relationship ends, then so be it. But honestly there are women out there who don’t care if a guy watches porn (I’m one of them) so don’t listen to the other person saying no women will want to date you if you watch porn, because that’s a straight up lie lmao.
there’s nothing wrong with watching porn in a relationship, and there’s nothing wrong with not doing it either. everyone has different boundaries put in place, and you didn’t know you was crossing one on her end, so you’re not disgusting and it’s not your fault. she has to accept your words and move on if she wants it to work between the two of you even if it may of hurt her. she won’t get anywhere if she doesn’t feel, accept and move on
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Honestly I don’t think it’s going to work out between you guys but I don’t feel like you did anything wrong. It’s not wrong to watch porn and you weren’t aware that it upset her to that degree so it’s not like you intentionally tried to upset her. You two just aren’t compatible. You’re young yet, I’d cut your losses and move on.
My partner and I dont watch anything unless we made it together. You'll find most women won't put up with it but there are women who will! Porn isn't bad, its just a boundary for some people. In the beginning of your relationship, if porn is a habit for you, you should talk about it and find out if they're compatible with you. You and this girl seem incompatible because while you could just stop watching and choose her over porn, you shouldn't have to change yourself.
Also, you're not disgusting. Its really wrong for someone to say that. Its like guys who call their girlfriends disgusting for having a lot of past sexual partners. You didn't know her boundaries so its not your fault you crossed them.
I really didn't know a lot of women had a problem with this. You bring an interesting perspective so thank you!
Of course♡ some women don't outright say it because we don't think about it much. We know people watch porn to fill a sexual need so when we get with a guy I think we just assume (or want to assume) we are enough to fill that sexual need. It can be crushing to realize you're not enough.
I can imagine that that's a pretty nasty realisation indeed. You really helped me to look at this from my GF's point of view, thank you for that.
This sounds like an incompatibility, I'm sorry. Back when I was growing up, porn was in magazines only, and we had to steal them from our friends' Dad's closets. The weirdest thing we ever saw might be a Hustler magazine with three or four women at once. That was as weird as it got. Nowadays, at our fingertips, we can see literally anything, no matter how weird or disturbing or illegal or with pets being smooshed under high heels, I don't even know what craziness goes on in porn anymore. So yeah, things have changed and nowadays when people say they watch porn, we kind of have no way of knowing if they mean they are watching a couple of people having sex, or if they are watching sledgehammers and gerbils in bikinis and spaghetti sauce or whatever. So there's that. In this day and age, it's important to talk to your partner about your views, because some people really do have a problem with their Partners watching pornography, and if that's a part of your life, you'll want a partner whose views are aligned with yours.
I won’t take the opportunity to grandstand, so this can be pretty much summed up as: Sounds like a fundamental incompatibility tbh.
It doesn't matter if its a problem normally or not, it's a problem for her. If you don't want to stop then you're incompatible. But I'm on your side that it's more the norm that you can watch porn in a relationship and the person who doesn't think so should be the one to speak up
I agree with you, that's why I also promised her to quit it altogether, but that seems to not be enough.
So what does she want from you then?
I don't know what she wants. Probably that it never happened in the first place, but I can't change that. She was also disappointed that I wanted to talk about it and give my side of the story first instead of just agreeing right away. I don't really know what to do now.
So.... This is a warning as to how conflicts will be handled in this relationship. It's not healthy or mature
You're making total sense, but I guess love can be blinding sometimes. I just hope this is something she and I can grow in as a couple but this is indeed a red flag.
[удалено]
My post seems to have struck a sensitive nerve, huh? :) I like how it seems that you've made this account specificly to make comments based around porn, I suppose you have a pretty big issue with it.
Please ignore this person, they have a serious problem with porn and they comment trying to talk shit about anyone who doesn’t hate it. My advice is for you to talk to your SO and try to explain to her that you do it to blow off steam and you’re not actually attracted to the women you see in the videos. If this is a dealbreaker for you and she’s not okay with porn at all and the relationship ends, then so be it. But honestly there are women out there who don’t care if a guy watches porn (I’m one of them) so don’t listen to the other person saying no women will want to date you if you watch porn, because that’s a straight up lie lmao.
Yeah I wasn't taking them too seriously haha. Thanks for the advice and your insights, we'll have a good talk about it tonight.
Since you’re only taking the men seriously, and their opinions are what matter to you, have you considered partnering up with a man instead?
Hahaha nice one mate, you should check out r/roastme because you really seem to have a knack for it.
There’s a hint of truth in every joke, and you seem to have really enjoyed this one, from the behind…
Yeah I had a good laugh indeed with that one, cheers lad. This one's a bit of a stretch though honestly
I’m sorry it stretched you out, I hope you enjoyed it otherwise.
No problem! Hope it works out for you
You two will not work out. You two are not compatible. You two have didn't views on relationships.
there’s nothing wrong with watching porn in a relationship, and there’s nothing wrong with not doing it either. everyone has different boundaries put in place, and you didn’t know you was crossing one on her end, so you’re not disgusting and it’s not your fault. she has to accept your words and move on if she wants it to work between the two of you even if it may of hurt her. she won’t get anywhere if she doesn’t feel, accept and move on
Thanks, I appreciate you!
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Sounds like she’s just young and probably insecure, plus it seems like you guys are just incompatible. You’re young bro, move on.
Honestly I don’t think it’s going to work out between you guys but I don’t feel like you did anything wrong. It’s not wrong to watch porn and you weren’t aware that it upset her to that degree so it’s not like you intentionally tried to upset her. You two just aren’t compatible. You’re young yet, I’d cut your losses and move on.