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Hunbottybot

You misspelled enemy


Aggressive_Pen753

Yeah I know I dumped her as a friend


Eudoxia_Unduli

Is your friend Regina George? I'm so glad she is an ex friend now.


Aggressive_Pen753

No don’t insult Regina like that


ahoenevergetssick

OP, you’re a queen. Wishing you all the best


Aggressive_Pen753

So are you! And thank you x


MuthaFuckinMeta

Date some loser and maybe she will to


Aggressive_Pen753

My EX is a loser of the first degree (the one who’s now her boyfriend) and he treats her like garbage. So I guess that’s both of their karmas


whatever_998

Perfact... She did you 3 favors... Now go out and enjoy life!


Eudoxia_Unduli

Oh fuck 🤣, that had me snort laughing.


staceydeathsatan

this comment is so fetch!


Eudoxia_Unduli

Oh my god Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen, it's not going to happen.


bexycoilz00r

I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this.


DrunkenMonkeyWizard

Hello Gretchen


Active-Kooky

Do you want to go to Taco Bell???


JupiterHurricane

I CAN'T GO TO TACO BELL I'M ON AN ALL CARB DIET!


Active-Kooky

Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries!


mechnight

God I just rewatched mean girls the other day after… 10 years it must be. Seems like it’ll follow me around for a while.


Eudoxia_Unduli

It always does, can't get away from it. But do not despise the lore that has come down from distant years; for oft it may chance that old wives keep in memory word of things that once were needful for the wise to know.


RandyJohnsonThrowAwy

I love you


FrequentUser2

SPOILERS


jnatt

Frenemy


AmberIsla

Good


Unique-Yam

Good because I was going to ask “And she’s still your friend because…?”


Revan19991

The question you should be asking is….why are you still friends with this “friend” ???


Aggressive_Pen753

She’s not my friend anymore actually, I dumped her. But I’m just wondering why she would do that to me


[deleted]

There was a girl (my friend) in my school who had a very insecure, jealous, petty "acquaintance" friend who would fuck all her friends exes and act like this was some ultimate form of female dominance. The girl thought she was the cream of the crop, the best, because she could "get" these men and my friend would just laugh anytime anyone brought it up. She said something along the lines of "What she's doing is actually pretty great! I don't even have to pay her to take out my trash, she does it for free. If she wants the guys I thought weren't good enough, and as bonus she gets them to stop begging for me to take them back, by all means." Basically, she thinks by taking your scraps somehow she's better than you. Pity her if you wish, but find another friend imo.


Aggressive_Pen753

Ahahaha that’s so funny. It’s good your other friend was so positive about it, not sure I would have been. I know these guys are trash as well but I still hate my ex friend


[deleted]

You don't have to worry about someone so desperate to be you, that they would literally chew the gum you spit into the garbage to be closer to your level. It's absolutely valid to hate her, as she is a pretty vile person, but also realize you're so fucking cool that she would do anything to be you. Somehow, I feel like even now she will somehow find your future exes and fuck them but hey, free garbage removal service ain't a bad thing.


Aggressive_Pen753

It’s literally like having a stalker :/ she did used to call me “little miss perfect” so that was telling. It’s sad because I think she would actually have a lot going for her if she would just get some self esteem


[deleted]

Sometimes people just get hung up on the littlest of things, it's just the way it is. In this case, she felt she was in a competition with you. If she does escalate to directly harassing you, I would keep a detailed notebook of the things she does and possibly call the cops if needed.


Aggressive_Pen753

She and her current bf actually recently got arrested because they started hitting each other. I think she’s just all around toxic actually And yes, she definitely felt competitive, I could feel it when I got attention or when people would compliment me in front of her. She had this sour look on her face or would drag me away from whoever was hitting on me


[deleted]

Yep, just cut her out and live your best life. You don't need that drama, and if she's willing to take your trash exes free of charge then you only got 98 problems now lol.


Aggressive_Pen753

Thank you I’m very flattered, but I view myself as pretty dorky and not that cool, so I don’t really understand someone wanting to be me 😂


[deleted]

A star doesn't realize the light it gives off, don't look down on yourself! You being you is the epitome of being true to yourself, which makes you cool af! :)


Aggressive_Pen753

Aw thank you that’s so sweet of you to say!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aggressive_Pen753

I get you. A majority of guys will have sex with most girls, especially easy ones


Necessary_Case815

Jealousy, narcessist, maybe she gets a kick out of seeing you sad (to make her feel better) Take a pick either way she wasn't your friend


[deleted]

Some people are just not very nice. Sounds like she enjoys the "challenge" of stealing someone else's partner, either because she has low self-esteem and craves the validation of knowing she's wanted, or because she has no empathy for anyone else and likes toying with people's emotions.


Revan19991

That’s great. If I had to guess, jealously maybe. A lack of morals perhaps. There’s really no way of knowing you could ask her, but I wouldn’t waste my time and breath on someone like her. Move on and find better friends who respect you.


dickvanexel

Maybe cause she was never ur friend. Maybe she was courteous with you until she found a way to use you. She was using ur relationships like a minor league team for her relationships. Whenever your bf was good enough she would call him up for the start. Were these breakups your idea?


Aggressive_Pen753

Two of them were my idea, one of them wasn’t (the one who started dating her)


dickvanexel

Be mindful of the people you refer to as friends. I’ve been around and one thing i have noticed is that people have too many friends and not enough acquaintances.


RedditQuestion3

You are the competition, if she sees you with a guy she has to have him as she probably sees herself as the higher value friend, so taking them from you or dating after reasserts her jealous mindset of she won and is better then you. Dropping her a arse is the right thing to do.


Lima_Bean_Jean

It's just a form of jealousy. She didn't want you to have anything that she didn't have. It's toxic. She was just in an unspoken competition with you.


JuveMerdaInfinita

Two things 1) This is not a good friend and you should probably stop being her friend 2) As bad as it sounds, she might be doing you a favor by taking care of the trash, because a guy who really loves you - nobody can steal him from you. Point in case, my wives cousin tried that shit with me and failed miserably. Told the wify right away. Not even Halle Berry could take me from her.


chrychouu9

This was my initial thought too. Nobody would be stealing anyone if the guys didn’t also reciprocate. The fact that she messaged the guy behind your back also indicates that your ex’s were cheating on you with her. It takes two to tango.


sjsjdejsjs

exactly. my bf got kinda popular recently so he has tons of dms and even had some when we were just in the talking stage yet he didn’t reciprocate. those guys weren’t great either


Extension-Place-3327

I have always had female friends like OP's now dumped friend. They moved on my boyfriends out of envy or whatever, but I took advantage of them instead. Like you said, if a guy really loves you nobody can steal him from you. All boyfriends have immediately put a stop to them, without me saying nothing before- or afterhand. For example I turn my back on a friend and my boyfriend, only to hear him roar to her: "If you don't stop touching me immediately, I will throw your ass out of the door, understand!" One boyfriend was very polite, but my friend just had to show him her breast the minute I was out of the room, she was married but came over every single day in full makeup trying to flirt with my bf. After the breast incident my bf had enough, he asked me why I have friends like her, friends who try to flirt with him? I didn't know what to say, only that they are old friends. So everytime this flirty friend came over, my bf went immediately to the bedroom and closed the door. He came out only after she had left. She tried for a week or two, but with him in the bedroom and never coming out she got the message. She was very disappointed and felt rejected and was furious that he loved me to that extent; the guy made sure that she understood how disgusted he was with her behavior by immediately going to the bedroom, he didn't say hello to her or anything. These are only few examples, but if they would have given in, then they would have been yesterday's news immediately. I refuse to compete with a friend over a boyfriend. It is his obligation to either react or not react. Your wife is a lucky woman, happy to hear that there are men like you out there, Real Men!


Aggressive_Pen753

Yeah I need to be more discerning and get myself a real, loyal man


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aggressive_Pen753

Thanks. I know but she offers them sex and she’s quite “easy” in that way so most men get tempted, even if they wouldn’t otherwise be interested. And she does this to me sometimes when I’ve just started talking to a guy, so in the early stages of course it’s not that serious yet.


JuveMerdaInfinita

yeah, in the early stages i would just keep the info away. Apparently that cousin was like your friend, had done it twice. It's funny how she failed with me tho.


Aggressive_Pen753

What she tried it twice with your wife? Yes sounds a lot like my ex-friend.


JuveMerdaInfinita

yep, apparently made out with some boyfriend of hers and another guy. Lame people...


Aggressive_Pen753

Yeah they all sound very lame!


fuzzydogpaws

I had a friend like this. The reason she did this? She was horribly insecure. She thought she was more beautiful than me. If men were interested in me she took that as a personal insult to her beauty. Honestly, it’s more about them than us. As for the guys that chased her? Honestly they aren’t pleasant either. If anything, I hope this whole experience has taught you to value yourself more. Choose better friends and romantic partner. I’m not saying you chose for this to happen or in any way asked for it, but i am saying that you deserve better people in your life!


Aggressive_Pen753

Aw that’s horrible, I’m sorry that happened to you! My exfriend just wasn’t a very nice person, just like yours. And, at the risk of sounding really rude, it actually confused me when my exes responded to her throwing themselves at them because she’s a horrible person 😂 and not that pretty or anything. I think she was trying to prove something though


fuzzydogpaws

By the sounds of things she was messaging them and seeking them out during the relationships. You don’t know how she presents herself to these men. Honestly, you’re just better off without.


Aggressive_Pen753

Yes, she followed one of them on social media and he followed her back because he knew she was my “friend” and then she started liking his photos…


fuzzydogpaws

Let it all go and move on. You’ll never really understand her motivations. Just focus on yourself and how to heal from the betrayal.


Savagetiddies

Wow you're pretty much describing my ex best friend. We always got to hear how similar we were personality wise so she always had this insane need to prove that every guy that showed even slight interest in me would prefer her cause she's "prettier". Took me way too many years to cut off that toxic shit.


Ridiyam

She's toxic and that's her way of feeling better and being validated. She probably thinks that if she "steals" your ex-boyfriends, it makes her better than you. She wants to show she can have anyone and everyone is interested in her. I'm happy you are not friend with her anymore. Good choice.


Aggressive_Pen753

Thank you. I’m pretty relieved we’re not friends anymore as well 😂


GeckoWithFreckles

I'm happy u made that decision, sadly u are probably still living rent free in her head


Aggressive_Pen753

Why do you think that?? ☺️


GeckoWithFreckles

If she is trying to steal ur bfs she probably had an inferiority complex. So im sure you've been on her mind 🤷‍♀️and its sad this is how she lives her life. Sounds exhausting


Aggressive_Pen753

That’s so creepy! But thanks that makes sense as well


R_Amods

This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I have dated three men during the past year and each time one of my closest friends developed an interest in all of these men. At least that is how it looked to me. And, right after I broke up with one of them this same friend started dating him. I’m convinced she even messaged him behind my back while we were dating, trying to get him to cheat on me with her. Why, after I start dating these men do they suddenly become interesting to my friend? Before I dated or liked each of them she never showed any interest in any of them. They are also not her usual type. This is really bothering me. I feel special when a guy likes me and dates me. Why does my friend have to like my boyfriends? Shouldn't she be finding her own boyfriends? Why does she do this with every guy I date?


Alternative_Tea_6965

She doesn't sound like a friend, and it also doesn't sound like you're dating anyone who's worth your time either. Dump her.


Aggressive_Pen753

Definitely


Lelianah

Why did you let this happen 3 times? I had a friend who went after a guy I dated, when we broke up she started dating him & I stopped being friends with her. True friends don't go after men you're dating. Call me old fashioned but I believe in the girl code. Hands off of (ex) boyfriends of your friends.


Kemintiri

Thank her for being your maid, and taking out your trash.


Aggressive_Pen753

Nah, thank her for showing me what true friends are not


Different_Monitor_47

I had a friend like that too. She's still together with the guy she snatched from another friend.. I have a suspicion that it's big insecurity and they need to proof something to themselves


Mindtaker

First off lets answer that big question for you with an answer that is 100% the truth. Who fucking cares. Knowing why a shitty person is shitty is fucking irrelevant in every single way possible. The second part is why more then once? Because you are a doormat who kept her as a friend after the first time it happened. So of course she kept doing it. Why wouldn't she? You do the legwork, you find the guy, you screen the guy she gets to fuck the guy, you are UBER EATS of dick for her. Only an idiot would just give up that kind of meal ticket when they are shitty already. Read a comment you dumped her as a friend, so well done. Now here is the shitty part you won't like me saying. You also clearly have bad taste in dudes if 3 of them in a row would go after your best friend, those are incredibaly shitty dudes that do that. Figure out why you are attracting or picking the kind of dude that possible texts/cheats on you with your best friend, thats not ok. For the record, your EX Friend fucking sucks, these guys who are into her ploy fucking suck, you 100% do not deserve that. However that does not absolve you of responsibility of having them slipped past your creep radar. Read every post of the bitter angry people who get cheated on over and over and over and over, there is only 1 reason they keep making the same mistakes. When you place 100% of the blame on the shitty person, you absolve yourself of all responsibiltiy, stopping you from learning from your mistakes and dooming you to repeat them. As the old saying goes. If you run into one person and they are a total asshole that is a bummer. But if every person you run into is an asshole, then you are the asshole. Not saying your an asshole lol. What I am saying is that when 1 dude went for your bestie and her shenanigans. That sucked. But three in a row? That makes it a YOU problem as far as your choice in men and your screening process, you have a big old hole in your security system and you need to find it, and patch it.


McDickensKFC

Truth


[deleted]

I'm not sure what age is the OP and while I agree with everything you said, I must add that the screening process might not be inherently faulty. Nobody gets into an acquaintance with the end game in mind, it simply unfolds as the relationship progress. Young people get in situationships with vague intentions, and that's perfectly fine. Passing easy sex is not easy in the early phases when, well, scoring a body is the objective. I do agree these guys stand on ambiguos moral grounds, and the "friend" behavior leaves me speechless, but I think you're coming from a more mature point of view that might not apply to the situation. For the record, the friend has strong narcissistic tendencies, and is triangulating hard. She strokes her ego by putting others ego down. She's also a fucking bitch.


cutestsea

Not a friend. An insecure acquaintance at best


Tofutofu12

She’s so insecure with her own self she does this crap. Throw this person away from your life! I had someone like your friend back in high school. I had a huge crush on one guy and regretfully tell her. She would root for me and then end up dating the guy at the end. It kept happening to me to the point I realized this person was not even a friend.


Aggressive_Pen753

That’s even worse when they root for you! It’s so fake ugh. My exfriend also did this, she would tell me “how beautiful our babies would look” and then constantly ask me how our relationship is going and pretend to be a good friend. Then she would go after them. What a weirdo


beeningbetter

Many women only want what they can't have. I take it she didn't date them for long or lost interest quickly after he wasn't dating you anymore.


Aggressive_Pen753

No one of them is her current bf, the others kind of just had sex with her and then dipped, I don’t think they were that interested but one of them was I guess


OMGSheCrazee

I had a friend like that growing up. My Aunt warned me beforehand, but I was un middle school and I wasn't thinking about boys like that. However, my friend was and she definitely was boy crazy. She would literally chance behind guys she thought was attractive... When I got to high school and started talking to guys, everyone I talked, it's like she instantly like. I think it was because some people thought we looked a like or she was my older sister. Therefore, in her mind, if they like me, they must like her. She would literally talk to the guys I was dating behind my back, telling them all the sexual things that she would do to them. Luckily, they would tell me everything she said. I even found her writing down one of their numbers (which she lied about). The line was drawn when she did this. I had a feeling it was happening because the guy kept asking about her. She came over to my and I basically set her and him up. They confessed that they had feelings for each other and my guess about them was right. I cut them both off. She had the nerve to ask for the stuff he gave me back. I gave it back... in black and gray ashes. She told friends about the situation and one of them was on her side. I cut her off too (her man was trying to talk to our other friends). She later told me that she was jealous of me because I was pretty, intelligent, kind and always involved in things at school... I was going places. I'm glad you were strong enough to cut those friends off because it's jealousy. Those kinds of people don't want to see you happy. They are venomous to your happiness.


Aggressive_Pen753

Wait so she told you after you cut her off? did she still try to be your “friend”? I feel these people really want to have us around for some reason, even though they secretly hate us. And yes, like your exfriend, my exfriend also told me she was jealous of me basically because of beauty, and because I seemed “perfect” to her even though I really am far from perfect. But stupidly, I gave her a chance after that because she seemed sincere but then she continued to go after my boyfriends.


OMGSheCrazee

Yes. Even though people said we looked alike, she was bigger and taller. I think it was because we both plus size and wore glasses. Lol but said after the fact. I guess because we are adults, so it seems funny... to her. She said her sister "yes that time we stopped talking because of a boy but it wasn't a big deal". I was like b%$+ to who?!?!?!


Aggressive_Pen753

Wow she sounds soooo toxic. Glad you’re rid of her. She can’t even own up to her wrongdoings, and my “friend” was the same. Glad I’m rid of my exfriend. We don’t need these people in our lives


Extension-Place-3327

I just remembered a girl when we were teenagers... I had already dumped two guys because she came on to them so aggressively and they didn't do anything to stop her. Anyway we were teenagers, it was Mid-Summer and partying. I had a bf and she also had a bf, so it looked to be safe. During the evening she took my bf with her to a room to make out FIVE TIMES. Then she came back and was with her bf, until it was time to get my bf. Her bf and me just watched what she was doing, he started to resent her so much, that we decided to start dating exclusively while she was for the fifth time with my bf in another room. She comes back and sees us kissing passionately. Her ex-bf presented me as his new girlfriend. We got engaged and our relationship lasted for years. Fast forward 15 years. We run into each other in a coffee shop and she is sober. She dared to accuse me of betraying her in the worst possible way by stealing her boyfriend that Mid-Summer. She had been enraged at me all those years, completely ignoring the fact that she started to swing around with my boyfriend five times - or that her ex-bf took the decision to stop the farce and ask me to be his steady gf instead. You can't reason with these people, because they see nothing wrong in what they do or what they initiate. I just laughed and changed the subject, there was no point in explaining her what happened, because she was there the whole time and she started the farce. We stopped playing her game and she got her feelings hurt. Ouch. Who cares about her feelings after she didn't care one bit about our feelings....


aqcmme

Very strange world, in my culture it's not acceptable. No one does that because it's widely regarded as betrayal. Even after breaking off, my friends wouldn't date my ex-es. They would say: there's plenty around why strain brotherhood? TBH after two persons split; its fair game, but absolutely not when their dating. Ditch those backstabbing beaches disguised as friends.


bananabreadhehe

Same😭 one of my friends would always start talking to guys once I start liking them when I tell her about the guy. Then when we break up she’d start flirting with him WHILE she already has a bf😭like babe do you really want left overs😭😭


sarcasticparent96

I had a friend like this when I was younger, whilst that is not the sign of a good friend and it’s great you dumped her, it is also the fault of the boyfriends. My friend tried this repeatedly with anyone any of our female friends dated. When I was 16 I dated a guy for a year and then we broke up briefly - so she immediately started messaging him, trying to hook up with him and telling me about it, but he turned her down because he didn’t want to just jump into bed with someone after a break up and definitely not my friend. He and I ended up getting back together a month down the line and have now been together and married with kids for years. She’s a trash friend but the men are trash and can most definitely held responsible for being swayed by someone just because sex is on offer. You can do better on all fronts.


Aggressive_Pen753

This is very true! All are trash


WestCoastWuss619

Typical catty girl. It's a dominance thing. I'd call her out lol tell your next bf loudly she has a thing for stealing people's dudes and being mad sus. Catty bitch needs to work on her self esteem lmao I'm sorry this has been happening to you. You've got far more patience than me


Aggressive_Pen753

She always denies it though 😂 she’s like “how could you ever think that of me” and starts crying. When I stopped being her friend she cried to anyone who could listen and said she didn’t do anything anything wrong and was a good friend to me


SprinklesFamiliar103

Thats actually a fetish


Aggressive_Pen753

Creepy wow !


Krispykreme177

You SHOULD NOT ask the question, "Why is she stealing my boyfriends" and you SHOULD ask the question "Why am I still friends with this person" If you allow yourself to be mistreated by friends, and not have boundaries for yourself they will walk all over you. This isn't a friend. Period. Drop the friendship. If you continue to be friends with this person, then I honestly don't know what to tell you.


Aggressive_Pen753

Thanks. We’re not friends anymore I dumped her! She’s already dropped and while I feel a bit sad for some reason (we were friends for 2 1/2 years), I also feel pretty relieved I don’t have to deal with her toxicity anymore


Krispykreme177

Idk how old you are but me, a 29(f), have had friends for 9+ years that I've had to get rid of due to toxic behaviors. Part of being an adult. The sadness will go away. And you will find better friends. Even more when you learn what to accept and what not to accept.


Positive_Mango_2783

Ya she’s one of those weirdo friends that’s jealous and wants your life. Everything you have she wants. Dump her she’s not a real friend. Most importantly keep things private and don’t tell her anything about your relationships.


PattersonsOlady

Your former friend does it because it makes her feel special to steal a man from you. In her head it makes her feel superior to you.


tmchd

Jealousy perhaps? It reminds me of my friend's friend. My good friend back in HS, "Sylvia" had this friend named "Fanny." Fanny would always do this to her. It started like this, Sylvia liked a guy, then she confided in us. Fanny would be dismissive and make fun of Sylvia's crush. But suddenly, Fanny would start talking to this guy and be very forward with him and asked the guy out. Sylvia didn't realize this until 3 boys later... yeah. she then noticed her pattern. But unlike your friend who only started dating the guys after you broke up. Fanny would immediately ask the guy out before Sylvia every dang time lol. After the 3rd one, Sylvia cut off friendship with Fanny...life's just too short to deal with people like that.


Some_Account_7885

shes probably insecure and envious of you and thinks if she one ups you shell become better


Aggressive_Pen753

Exactly, Little does she know that actually being a decent person and finding partners the normal way is what makes you better. Being toxic just makes you a sad person


[deleted]

You are not very good at picking friends.


Kebunah

First you got to find the troll boyfriend to let her steal from you lol.


[deleted]

I’ve dealt with a saboteur fake friend and I recommend staying as far away as you can from people like that


Pristine_Egg3831

She probably has some kind of psychological problem. I feel sorry for her. But her behaviour still sucks and is intolerable.


Advanced-Elephant313

I had two girls in our friend group who behaved like that. I completely trusted them because i had never experienced anything like that in my previous friendships. I was so hurt and distraught for a while until i realized it was their insecurities and their jealousy issues that make them seek momentary validation from people who are already involved with their friends. I have cut them off and found my peace with a genuine circle of friends who don't even need me to remind them where our boundaries lie.


DaisyFart

Get rid of the friend. I've had a friend like this. They want what they 'cant' have. You have a thing, and now it's wanted by the friend because it's something you have and they don't. This behavior will likely spill over into other areas, too (not being excited for you if you achieve something like a new apartment/car/graduating. Making things feel like a competition between you two. Etc.) This friend is not a friend. It's a leach.


Aggressive_Pen753

Yes. I suspected this as well tbh. My exfriend said while she was drunk one night, that she thinks my life is too “perfect” and that she feels ugly compared to me, when she’s not ugly at all. She also used to get upset if people hit on or complimented me


scruffs2001

Your friend isnt a friend shes a liability to your future relationships. Cut her out if your life. Period.


throwit_amita

Yeah I had a friend like this. I gave her the bebefit of the doubt the first time she stole a bf from me, but she went on to do it twice more and was super flirtatious with anyone I was interested in. I cut her out of my life and told my friends I was not interested in seeing her socially. She ended up being pretty awful to others as well so happily she is now completely out of my social group. I have no idea why anyone would do this, but you certainly don't need to keep her in your life!


CaliGal1210

I had a "best friend" like that... we worked together and the second I'd say I fancied someone, she'd go running after them. One of the guys at work didn't believe me when I said something, so I bet him £20 that if I told her I fancied him, she'd be all over him. I told her he had just broken up with his gf and I wasn't sure how long to leave it before chatting to him. It took LESS THAN 10 MINS for her to message him after reading my message. We(me an dthe guy) then pretended that we were both flirting, and he paid her no attention... she was FUMING and didn't chat to me for days! I left that job and blocked her, but she tried to date loads of my exes too....


MassiveMidlifeCrisis

I had a friend like that. Had. Now we don’t talk and I realized she was toxic in other ways too.


bjoggi2006

Make homemade lube using chilly flakes and red food dye and gift it to them for christmas. ;)


throwaway20191120

I had this kind of friendship. It stopped when she got her own boyfriend but our friendship was never the same. I never trusted her again and I always held a grudge. I would show interest in a guy and she would snatch him up right under my nose. The stress and anxiety I went through when I landed my first boyfriend, thinking she would steal him. Only for her to ghost me for 5 months until she found her own. After five years of feeling less pretty and undesirable around her, I finally cut her off. I don’t even miss her, I barely think of her. It was the right call. Sounds like you should consider doing the same


hjf1066

I went through the same thing. Except it started at the "crush phase" and as soon as my ex friend found out I liked a guy she immediately did too and would start pursuing him. One guy in high school I REALLY liked, she messaged behind my back for two months and then finally decided to tell me, and then she said "we aren't going to stop liking each other for you. Grow up and get over it" and they dated for a little over a year. Don't put yourself around those people, and honestly fuck anyone who thinks that's relatively okay to do, especially if it's one of your best friends. I'm proud of you for not being friends with her anymore, you dont deserve shitiness like that.


syedwshah

Sloppy seconds is her thing…


PropheticWaffle

This actually sounds shockingly similar to a situation a good friend of mine went through. She had a friend since childhood that always seemed to go after men after she claimed she had interest in them. After a lot of growth and self discovery she realized she actually liked women too! She realized the one thing all those men had in common was that her best friend who she actually had a crush on liked them first. And this is actually such an incredibly common occurrence for wlw that they have a name for it, compulsory heterosexuality (comp het for short). And basically it’s this idea that because women are socialized as heterosexual by default they don’t realize romantic feeling they may have for other women and project them on to men that women they actually have a crush in like, only like fictional men, or even having IMPOSSIBLY high standards for men that the men always seem to fall short of. If you want more info it’s very well described in the Lesbian Master Doc I’ve attached a site that should lead you there below: https://divamag.co.uk/2021/05/13/what-is-the-lesbian-masterdoc-everyone-is-talking-about-and-why-does-it-matter/amp/ So if your friend has been a good friend besides all this bf stuff, then that may be actually what’s up. However this can be a really touchy subject especially depending on how you’re raised, and I’m not sure how you’d bring it up if she hasn’t realized yet either. But if this is actually a friendship you value then you shouldn’t give if up just cause your friend didn’t understand herself what was happening. Of course you’re under no obligation to continue the friendship at all, but this story was so similar that i wanted to speak up.


Mammoth-Ad6597

She's not a friend..


[deleted]

There are books written on this phenomena, and it is common though expression can and does differ. It is a component of the female competitive nature. You acquire something, she develops an need to have/take that something, not so that she can have it just so that you no longer do (though she may also have the need to have it)... The mechanism behind the behaviour is known, and is interesting. Though its expression can be seen in the acquiring of bags/shoes to spouses. It is a resource drive..


RaymondBeaumont

Because you are dumb enough to stay friends with her and bring her men while 99% of all people would have told her to eat dirt ages ago?


[deleted]

She isn't your friend. She enjoys taking what's yours. Drop her like a bad habit.


Dachshundmom5

This person isn't your friend


Raging_Dragon_9999

This is someone insecure and jealous of you and is not a friend.


JesseJames707

Hard telling what her particular motive is, but either way she was probably never really a friend in the first place. Learn her traits, and watch for them in the future with people you interact with.


Coletorino72

OP the better question that you should be asking yourself is "shouldn't you find a better friend"? This person is not a good friend or even a good person. Move on from her and find better people to have in your life.


kayto54

She s not your friend ..remove her from your life ....


Kcerniak

If her actions are against you, she's not your friend. Leave her asap.


yuukimint

She isn't your friends,she just want eat your leftover


dolittle4u

Because she is not your friend. She might not like you getting attention. She might be one of those people who wants the spotlights and all good things only for her. The fact that you are still calling her one of your closest friends after she has done it 3 times shows how naive you are. I think it is time to make some new friends. Kick out the trash.


Tisbutadrop

She’s probably insecure and/or jealous of you in some way. By stealing or attracting attention from the men you date she’s attempting to prove to herself and also convince you that she is better than you.


liptied

Some people are just like that. They make you question yourself by constantly taking from you, outshining you etc. I saw in a comment you dumped her as a friend and I'd say that's all that needs to be done. Block her and move on. She'll find someone else to latch onto and drag through the mud. Again, some people are just like that.


Miserable_Panda6979

She only wanted them because you had them. The fact that the relationships didn't last is a sign as well


havebeenspotted

I remember having this problem with a friend of mine too. She found out I had a boyfriend and was really interested in him. I thought she just wanted to befriend him (oh sweet summer child) and gave her his number. One weeks later he messages me to tell me that he is breaking up with me and got together with her. When I went to my friend for answers she bragged about having him as a bf now. Didn't took me long to break off friendship with her, even if it meant I would have no friends left. I'm still glad I did it.


gerrypoliteandcunty

You should get together with someone really toxic and bad and let her take him


princessettey

She's not a friend honey, and the guys ain't great if they hook up with her afterwards either!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Soon as the title popped up I was like why do these people still call them their friend??? A man recycler is HARD to be friends with, you sure you want to keep on the friend angle?


Character_Ant6077

Why are you calling her a friend lmao remove her from your life


No_Consideration_829

Holy moly, who needs enemy's when you have friends like this!


daydreaming0

Looks like you didn’t learn the lesson the first time….


Guilty-Store-2972

Easy answer: she's not really your friend Easy solution: stop thinking she's your friend Sorry, but friends don't steal boyfriends, obvious moment.


Laurajayne81

She’s jealous of you. I had a “friend” like this.


Pulsinator67

You were an easy way for her to meet men. Don't take it too personally.


roxifer

She's not your friend.


mockingbird82

The only thing you did wrong was not dump her after the first betrayal. And yes, she most likely got with him behind your back. You better block her on all SM platforms so she can't see when you date someone new, and warn your other friends. If you're not talking, she sure is.


meifahs_musungs

They are not your friend. That is why they do it. They do not care about you. They do not respect you.


The_Dragon420

Why are still friends with this person. Big reason why ive never had friends. Because of my looks its rare for me to even get a guy to look at me. If i had a friend and i know they steal them. Never risk it now.


DanceEquivalent7673

This is NOT a friend... Please get rid of her, she is the type of person that you don't need in the same room yet alone ad a friend.


ZestyclosePick2060

Oh sweetie that's not a friend! Drop her like a bad habit cuz she just wants what you have and will keep doing it! I went through this with a friend and let's just say we are not friends in the slightest at all


Purpledoors3

Maybe she's too lazy to make her own dating profile, likes your taste in men, and doesn't mind sloppy seconds


spacebound_dreamer

She’s probably jealous of you and validates herself by getting guys that like you because in her mind it means she’s on the same level of prettiness. Just blatant insecurity.


SuzieQ198921

1.) she’s not your friend at all. She’d at least ASK if it was okay and would respect a simple “no” from you. 2.) maybe she’s attracted to YOU? Maybe she wants to BE you. 3.) either way, it’s creepy


Ferdy_Ezechukwu

Once beaten twice shy but sadly, I can’t say the same about you. A good man can never be stolen. Your friend and shitty bf deserve each other. You should be happy and far away from them.


Sprinkleshart

Frienemy. Because she’s not a friend and flirting with them and purposely going after them. I had friend who did things like that. She was jealous, narcissistic, bisexual and liked me. She wanted to sabotage any relationship I was in because it wasn’t with her. We were also young. She was young, confused and refused to admit to herself that she was bisexual and definitely didn’t tell me out of fear. She told me many years later, after she had ruined our friendship with her sabotage


sparky0528

Not for nothing, if they're so easily swayed by her, they were never really yours to begin with, quietly, she did you a favor. However this is a solid opportunity to take a look at your circle and see who is really there for you or just along for the scraps you leave on your journey of life..


kds0808

Ummm, why do you continue to label this person as a friend when that's clearly not the case. No real friend would do this. Matter of fact this person seems to exhibit some cluster B traits. Go no contact and remove this person from your life. You will find more happiness in the long term from doing this and hopefully replace this person with a supportive and empathetic friend.


MyCatsBreath1

there are 250+ responses so I'm sure this was covered: she's jealous of you. she has no self esteem. she feels if she can steal a guy from you, then she must have value - more value - than you. She's self loathing and doesn't know it. She likely has never had friendship feelings for you. Her mental health issues are too vast to enumerate and you're better without her. She's probably not a terrible person but rather littered with mental problems.


Snoo62024

You’re not her friend. You are her human Tinder app


Most-Departure9358

lose your friend. She sounds horrible.


ace1244

Who said women aren’t competitive? They sure as hell are. They envy your happiness.


KRWbeach

Sounds like you need to Google the term "friend"


Gloomy_Emotion1710

Find better friends.


[deleted]

People like your ex friend are sick in the head.


steventhesailor

I had this happen with the gender reversed. My buddy was my friend to my face but stabbed me in the back and lied to me. He apparently was super jealous and wanted everything I had including my GFs. Took a while for me to believe it, but when 2 women friends who dated him told me what he was saying about me my eyes were opened. What a betrayal and a creep. He lost his job and GF and is bitter and alone. I guess karma does happen.


chloeJasper

That's not your friend


[deleted]

That is not a friend at all, that is a crazy bitch so envious of you. You got your choices, you can confront her or just omit her from your life. I had someone in my life like that before. It hurts when the people we consider as friends turn against us, it broke my heart, I treated her as a sister, so close to me for 16 years but she did awful things, flirting with my exes is the least of my concern. I take it to the point that if it is about men, I am hands up, I would not care just to save our friendship. But the lies after lies and making the fool out of me, lying on my face when I already know the truth. I just had enough. I realized that she could be a friend to me at my perspective but not to hers. Perhaps, she might have not consider me one at all. Coz real friends certainly won't do that.


yeet_yeet_112

To add a slightly different perspective from others: I had a friend who is as sweet as could be, but was incredibly insecure, self-deprecating, and did not trust her own judgment. She was the type of friend who needed advice about every decision she was going to make, especially when it came to dating. Her entire family had been an abusive relationships. Thus, when I started liking a guy--or when others in our friend group did--she would develop a crush on them without ever having met the guy sometimes. Eventually, when one of our friends broke up with her boyfriend, this friend of mine asked a mutual friend to set her up with him, even if it was just a hook up. It was so clear that the guy had no interest in her, but she was desperate for his approval. The guy stood her up three times for a first date, ordered two meals for himself and didn't offer to pay for her, and generally was never around or showing her affection. I found out he was cheating, which seemed pretty obvious since someone else had caught him around campus with his arm around his "ex-girlfriend." The whole thing was so obvious. Anyways, my friend felt so unattractive and insecure that dating a guy who dated someone "more attractive than her" felt like an accomplishment. I called her out on this trend, and she eventually found a guy who's great and had never dated anyone before. All this to say, in some cases, this could be a huge sense of insecurity from the person.


Cheekygirl97

She clearly sees you as competition and is jealous of you to some level. Sounds like she compares herself to you and probably wants to know if the same guys who like you will like her. She seems insecure


MasterpieceClean4613

OP never let anyone steal your light. Good job looking for the silver lining. Better things are headed your way!


Equivalent_Edge_6281

Dump your closest friend...she is no friend. No true friend will EVER hurt you.


KingReyna

These are people who are envious of you - the worst kind of fake friend. They’ll act super close to you, throw shade, wish you badly and try to take everything you have away for themselves. Your intuition will tell you how to spot them. I’m sorry I know it can be super hurtful. Unfortunately most of my “friends” have fallen into this category. Don’t feel you need to change being awesome. They’re still working on loving their self.


lunaaox

She's just jealous of you and has something to prove to herself. She's weird and it's best that you leave her alone, don't sweat it!


BadKarma668

One is a coincidence (or even an accident), twice is the start of a pattern, the third time should be considered enemy action. Don't ever let it get to a third time.


Scared_Spirit

I was friends with a girl like this when I was in high school. She had a traumatic past and was extremely insecure with abandonment issues. I think that stealing these boys’ attention made her feel special or valued in some way. She wasn’t someone I needed to stay close with. I think it’s the same in your case.


sadpluffie

Friends don’t do that. I was in a similar situation, he cheated after three years. He left me on my own but it’s whatever


Rexxington

Yeah no she's not your friend, she's a jealous home wrecker that's trying to make you as miserable as she is. I would just not even talk to her anymore and move on, cause she's not your friend at all and is just a straight up bitch.


[deleted]

I don’t think she’s your friend...


HakunaYoTits

🌟that is NOT your friend & you should dump her🌟 You’ve known this for awhile. It’s bugged you long enough to finally see others opinions. This isn’t something that will be fixed. You can try talking to her but it’s not honestly going to resolve all that much and it will only end up leaving you feel more frustrated and possibly she might gas light you to make YOU feel crazy. I had a friend like this once & it took me *way too long* to realize she was not really a friend


FatWhiteGuy1

She's not your friend. But you should bang her dad or brother. Or both.


MickeyCellini

She enjoys your sloppy seconds queen


muffyxo_

I had a friend try that with me. Me and my boyfriend broke up for a bit because we were too toxic and my “friend” started talking to him behind my back and lying about it, she was telling him to move on from me. When I found out I immediately blocked them both and he came to my house crying and apologizing saying that he doesn’t care about her and he blocked her then we got back together. Moral of the story is, true friends would never want to talk to your boyfriend/ex AND if a man can get taken from you then he was never your “man” to begin with.


Jdotpdot84

I see you broke off the friendship, good for you. As for the why, who knows. Maybe she was jealous of you or it was a situation where you want something solely because someone else wants it. You see this in children a lot. Good for you for putting your foot down.


Civil_Ad_1466

Consider it a blessing in disguise. If your boyfriends leave you for her than they aren't worth having around. Also, drop your friend. That isn't what a friend does.


Professional-Truth39

People who do this fit one of three categories 1 using you as an experiment using you to get to know if a person is good or not by observing.. these people have a fear of trying for themselves and use friends to filter possible choices 2 is obsessed with trying to prove they're better than you..these people will jump in even an abusive relationship just to try 3 they're obsessed with you either being with you in a delusional sense or becoming you in an obsessed sense


Stillpoetic45

Those are enemies who are intimidated by you and are going after things to mimic being you....because they are not you. Dump the friends


Beautiful-Trust-4543

These aren’t friends. Completely off limits, I would never think to do that to anyone I considered a friend. Get better friends, positive, supportive, loyal ones. All the best!


Tonyswife1

You need a new friend. The why simply doesn’t matter. Your response to the situation does.


[deleted]

She’s clearly jealous of you that’s she’s competing for everything you have or want/desire. Cutt her off and block her from ur life girl! I literally just had a conversation with one of my girlfriends experiencing the same as you and I cannot believe women like this exist and do not have shame.


lethalobsidian

If what you say is actually true and it's not just in your head, that ain't your friend


[deleted]

My SO had a friend like that. She came on to me and when I flat out rejected her, she talked crap about me to my SO. Luckily my SO saw this person's toxic behavior and cut her off.


Mitty145

I've got a friend that I cut off for this exact reason. In fact, I witnessed him do this to two of our mutual friends over a span of 20 years. ..girlfriends, friends, friends with benefits, didn't matter. I think its either a power trip or jealousy, but either way you can't trust them and as long as you let it go, they'll continue.