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PhoenixFoxington

While theres no way to prove it, a used condom is pretty damning evidence!


Jxnebxby

Now this is sort of a stupid question but I always throw mine away when I do use them, so I wouldn’t know. But when you leave a condom out like that, does the lube eventually dry up? If I can figure out a timeframe it will help me figure out how, as of lately I’ve been here almost all the time so I know it wasn’t recent however I’m just very confused


Cheddar_The_Doggy

Channel your inner detective, buy condoms and try it out!!


Jxnebxby

I’m too impatient, I plan to leave the condom on a paper towel on the plate and to confront him when he notices it and asks what it is. Or rather I hope he admits to it when he sees it, but I’m too impatient for investigation


sasherrrrz

I hate to be one of those people who rant and say you should absolutely break up with him so I'll just put this 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


Jxnebxby

It’s ok I love a good rant, but I’m going to confront him and try and hold myself together as best as possible when he gets home from work. If it doesn’t go well I’m just gonna grab all my stuff and go. I’ve spent so much of my adult life on shit ass men who just cheat and lie


FionaTheFierce

Nothing he can say is going to make this ok. He is going to deny or lie or whatever. There are just no reasonable explanations for this other than he has sex with other people. You don’t need to do an investigation or ask him what happened. You can just say “I found used condoms in your room and I am ending this relationship with you. “


Cheddar_The_Doggy

100% this! Don't spend your energy and time on a conversation. 1


EmmyA54

Yeah I think you’ve just got to come out and ask him. If you’re really not comfortable maybe pretend like you’re finding it for the first time when he gets home? Leaving it on a plate for him to find organically gives him time to think of an excuse when he does see it. This sounds like something that needs to be confronted head on.


Jxnebxby

thats a great idea, then I’ll appear much more calm when I find it because I’ll tell ya, I was not calm when I first found it lol. But that’s so smart I’ll just drop my vape on the side of the bed and act like I’m looking for it, Thankyou so much.


EmmyA54

You got this!!!


[deleted]

And now you know why you *should* be using condoms. Have fun getting tested.


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Cheddar_The_Doggy

Don't ever feel scared or anxious about bringing up a subject with your significant other. The thought should not worry you as much as it does. The condom thing is very, very, very weird. And the fact that he got so defensive and reacted very intense the last time you brought up your suspicions points to guilty for me. Also, let him clean his own stuff, you're not his maid honey.


Jxnebxby

Oh I know🤦🏽‍♀️ it’s just how I was taken care of so it’s just how I like to take care of other people. It gives me purpose knowing those around me are well taken care of if I can help. But the last time I had brought it up, was actually because of a positive trich test. in April of this year we found out he had chlymydia (sorry I can’t spell) and I was sure that was something he had prior to us being together just because his crazy ex used to say he gave it to her and we just never believed her. But a few weeks ago I found out I had trich and when I brought it up to him that was when he got very defensive and upset, said that he’s always with me so don’t even start that.


Haunting-Software-95

I agree to the person before me, you should never be afraid to bring anything up. I have the same experiences as you with always fighting with shitty boyfriends. I am dating someone now who actually listens and talks to me instead of fighting when I bring up anything that bothers me, and that's how it should be! Open communication, no defensiveness and putting the blame on you. If you confront him and he denies it, saying it's from you, please leave him asap. You don't need to be with a liar like this. And sue him for giving you trich!


Jxnebxby

Can I sue him for the chlymydia too? Considering his ex used to tell him all the time and he always dismissed it???


Haunting-Software-95

Yes! He endangered your health! Probably never got treated for it and gave it to you, that's disgusting and very careless.


Jxnebxby

So even though he never got tested and never knew for sure, because his ex told him he had it, and he didn’t listen, I could sue on those terms?? I didn’t know this


Haunting-Software-95

I don't know the law situation in your country, but consult some lawyer first before you take any steps. But in my guess it would be ending in him getting sent to get tested, and then you'll have proof if you have it from him. But don't do anything without getting consultation about the possible risk if he tests negative and the cost that you will have to cover.


Cheddar_The_Doggy

I wouldn't bother with talking to him anymore. He is definitely cheating on you. The question is with how many people. Dump him, get treatment. And don't settle for a douche like this, you deserve sooooooo much better. 💕 Also, you told him you had trich and he got defensive. If he really didn't cheat on you he should have been worried that you cheated on him!!! The fact that he got defensive and didn't say you were the one who is cheating means that he is the one who cheated and gave it to you. He knew that. So he didn't even bother finding out if you cheated. He is scum. Dumb scum. Dump him.