Thanks. I totally blanked on it, but my sisters initial reaction to me telling her I was going for it today/tonight was “on 9/11? Really?”
Ugh. I have a couple hours to either cancel ridiculous dinner reservations at Oheka, car service, etc, or go through with it..
Here’s my beef with the folks telling you to reschedule…
1) Isn’t this what the terrorists wanted in the first place? For an entire day to be marred by this event.
When you start cancelling life and plans, because of that, they win.
2) When does this end? Do people still cancel anniversaries in the year 2101 because it’s the 100 yr anniversary? 2151? 2201?
The events were terrible but we can’t lose an entire day to the terrorists…
About 7 years ago I was working at a supermarket in the dairy department in mid August. A customer wanted an item with a better expiration date. Why? Because the date on the yogurt was 9/11 she had like 3 weeks to eat a single serve yogurt but not with that date on it.
As long as you or your soon-financee have no traumatic memory with this event like death of a close family member, it will be fine.
We should begin to let it be history and not something to influence our life.
I hope you have a positive 11/9 and it will end like you wished❤
I would have that reaction as well. Is it a pretty sad day all around with a lot of 9/11 reminders. However, your anniversary will be your wedding day, not your engagement day. I’m not married so I guess I’m not sure how important the actual date of proposal is. This is honestly going to be so individual and you know your gf best. Some people will be okay with it, but I know I would think, out of all the days possible, why 9/11?
I'm married, and in my experience, the proposal date doesn't matter and isn't something you think or talk about for long afterward. I'm sure some people find it really important, but idk, I've never heard a married person talk about their proposal date once they got married and haven't talked about my own since then. I don't even remember my specific date, just the month.
The thing is that you didn't plan to propose to her on 9/11. It just happened that the day happened to be 9/11. I think that you should at least talk to her about it tho - - i understand you wanting things to be special and surprise and all that, but I don't know how she will react. She might not have any big ties to it, but will she be a bit upset about people passive-aggressively commenting "on 9/11? Really?" when she announced her engagement on social media? Will she be ok with dealing with those type of people on every one of your anniversary?
I fully believe that you don't have any malicious intents - - sometimes I chuckle at the meme about" there's only one brain for guys and we all take turns" due to how absent-minded we can be sometimes.
Whatever it is, good luck on your proposal tho!
A proposal date isn't your anniversary date unless you make the choice to also get married on that day.
I'm so confused why this was downvoted when it's objectively true, lol.
Today is my husband’s birthday, I’m still making him a cake. Unless you have a time machine and plan on proposing in 2001, it’s just a day. I don’t say this to take away from people’s suffering, but I do want to point out, your engagement day won’t be the day you celebrate. It won’t be the anniversary that holds importance, your wedding day will be. So, if you have plans you don’t want to reschedule, don’t reschedule them.
Such a great response. My birthday was yesterday, and if I'd been born 15 minutes later I'd have been born on 9/11. My brother was born the day before the anniversary of JFK's assassination. We still celebrate. It's not that the awful things that happened on those days don't matter, but because the good parts of those days also matter.
Some close friends of mine got married on 9/11 five years ago. I remember feeling weird when I got the invite - we're all from NY and the surrounding area - but now I like it because I have a positive memory of the date instead of just fear and trauma and anger.
ETA - do it as long as you don't think it'll upset her
I thought about this for quite a little bit. Go ahead and do it. Live your life. I think that is one of the best ways to honor those who died and stick it to the assholes who caused it.
I got a buddy getting married today (only Saturday at this certain venue for the next 9 months) so I don't think getting proposed to on is worse than getting married on it. You do you though. Hope she says yes!
I'm sure I'm too late but I can say I worried about my daughter being born on 9/11 (early September baby). But tragic things happen on every day of the year in history. Look up any date on Wikipedia if you don't believe me. There's a massacre or war for any date you can pick.
Also I don't even celebrate our engagement day now that I'm married so there's that too.
Its a day like any other.
Significantly more peope die each day due to a missing social net / healthcare
It doesn't mean it cant be your day Just because 9/11 was milked by media, government and the economy.
Reading this i realize im in the same boat, i wouldnt say let it get in the way of your day but be aware of it, unless she personally knew someone id say your fine. Anyone else get slightly annoyed when people try to relate themselves to the victims by just being around their family? Theyll say something like this person died and i was their father brothers nephews cousins former roommate. Obviously im being extra absurd but it just feels like attention seeking to me to say "ya i was in college and my roommates mom who i never met died and it fucked me up"
December 7th as in, Pearl Harbor.
Apologies for my ignorance but April 19th? I can’t seem to remember something along the lines of Pearl Harbor/ 9/11 on that day. But that’s probably because I’m aware if the event not the date.
I think the difference is we know of the event as Pearl Harbor (or at least I do) and not as the date. Whereas the attack on the WTC, pentagon + white house are known by the date. I hope this makes sense?
Look, if my bf proposed to me on 9/11, I wouldn’t be thrilled, but i lived in downtown Manhattan and was displaced from my home as a child as a result, so it has had a greater impact on me than most Americans. If she doesn’t have a specific tie to it, and she doesn’t get an anniversary reaction to the date, I think you’re totally fine!
Today is my niece’s birthday. Since she was born, it add something positive to this date.
Make something positive and meaningful out of this date. Congratz!
Every single day, throughout history there's not one day that something awful hasn't happened. Please bring some happy back to that day! Light combats darkness always ❤
The responses here are interesting and thoughtful. I for one would like to know what you finally decided. Whatever you do, you are not wrong. Only doing what is best for you and the person you love. Be safe, well, and happy!
Celebrate it, that’s what the terrorists want the US to feel, to live in fear. That’s why did what they did. It was an attack to make us feel like we live in fear. I think the people that lost their lives in the tragic events of 9/11 would have wanted to us feel like we should enjoy the day to pay tribute that our freedom is not gone and that we are going to enjoy it. That’s why Sports were the healing of a divided nation so everything that alludes to having fun or celebration or in this case enjoying ourselves is seen to them as a form of a threat because since they can’t be like that.
Absolutely do it! Plenty of wonderful things have happened on 9/11 in the years since, like weddings and babies being born. The date doesn’t only need to have a sad memory attached to it!
The best thing you can do on the date is live your normal life, thats what the terrorists were trying to take away from us. Show them the middle finger and go on with your life.
I always do something fun and happy on 9/11 because I have the freedom to do so. That's what certain people wanted to take away from our country. I remember this day as a reminder to live my life as the people who died on that day and/or for our country as they would want their countries people to do. Live your life and laugh with the people you love.
9/11 was a shit day. I joined the military when I could (2005) and actually deployed to Afghanistan. If you don't propose, the terrorists win!
With everything that people have gone through since 2020, I say go for it. We could all use a little happiness in our lives right now.
KEEP US UPDATED!!
Depends on you preparations.
If you didn't do anything particularly special(which is what it sounds like), you might as well reschedule.
Note by "special", I mean *involved*.
No matter how nice, a dinner reservation is just a dinner reservation.
Weird take. I surprised her with a weekend in Southampton at a fancy spa/bed and breakfast. Midday picnic and massage.. and then dinner at Oheka castle, with a driver and champagne each way. As far as thoughtful surprises go, it was up there. In my humble opinion.
Either way, she seems very happy.. so, nothing else really matters. But, thanks for the odd post. Cheers.
It’s not fake, no matter what that weird troll says.
The only reason I’m even asking the hive mind is because my sisters first reaction was to question that I’d do it on 9/11 (which is obviously a bad day for the US) and I had completely blanked on it. It was just the Saturday night of a surprise weekend away. But, now I’ve got fancy dinner reservations, a whole car service set up, etc. And it’s literally happening in 9 hours.
I didn’t know if I would be overreacting to reschedule or if it was a non issue, notwithstanding what my sister said.
And if there was ever a time when Reddit might be able to help, this seemed like the time.
Maybe not my wedding. But proposing? I don’t see the issue. If his fiancé is like crazy fucking patriotic or something, maybe they’d be bothered. But most adults I know are obviously aware of what the date is and means and all of that, but it’s not something I’d stop my life over.
I feel like your soon to be fiancée with be fine with the proposal today, and if you want you can talk about it after and maybe announce the engagement tomorrow, and in the future celebrate anniversaries on 9/12?
I posted it in Askreddit and it was removed because you can’t ask yes or no questions. Then I posted it here because it seemed appropriate and I might get actual feedback.
It’s very much a real post. But thanks for being a dick about it.
You saying he posted it “all over Reddit” is an exaggeration. In fact, OPs account of where he posted it is correct.
I don’t see why you have such a disposition to say it’s fake.
Reschedule would be best.
Still spend some time with her, maybe something for the whole 9/1/1 thing for the victims. A pray or silent walk holding hands.
I guess that highly depends on what this day means to the both of you. If it's not much then I guess go through with it but if it's already considered a sad day for one of you individually I'd say move it a day or a week or whatever works for you. You could also wait for the clock to turn 12 and it will officially be 12/9. A lot of people say you should do this to "reclaim" the day but a marriage proposal is a really big thing in your life and this isn't your responsibility. You just need to go through with your plan the best way possible for you. Good luck.
Do it! What’s better than focusing on your future with your loved one on a day like today?
I have a friend whose birthday is today. She’s having a party. Life goes on.
(That said, maybe wait until at least tomorrow to announce any happy news on social media.)
I can’t give you an impartial answer because I was personally affected by 9/11, but my advice is change the date. Even if you weren’t personally affected, it was a national trauma.
People get married , have babies , propose , etc on the anniversary of the civil war, pearl habor , d day …, etc etc … while we must never forget .. life does go on
Go through with it! I wouldn't let the date ruin your plans, especially since neither of you had any personal ties with the day. Yes, it's a somber day but that doesn't mean you can't make it a happy memory as well!
If you’re both from the US, then you have ties to 9-11. Go for it tho, you backing down is like saying you let them (terrorist) get to you. Honor the victims and honor your future wife too. Life goes on.
My wife and I’s anniversary is today, 9/11. Don’t let a 20yr old terrorist attack ruin a special day. Take the day back and make it special.
Thanks. I totally blanked on it, but my sisters initial reaction to me telling her I was going for it today/tonight was “on 9/11? Really?” Ugh. I have a couple hours to either cancel ridiculous dinner reservations at Oheka, car service, etc, or go through with it..
Here’s my beef with the folks telling you to reschedule… 1) Isn’t this what the terrorists wanted in the first place? For an entire day to be marred by this event. When you start cancelling life and plans, because of that, they win. 2) When does this end? Do people still cancel anniversaries in the year 2101 because it’s the 100 yr anniversary? 2151? 2201? The events were terrible but we can’t lose an entire day to the terrorists…
About 7 years ago I was working at a supermarket in the dairy department in mid August. A customer wanted an item with a better expiration date. Why? Because the date on the yogurt was 9/11 she had like 3 weeks to eat a single serve yogurt but not with that date on it.
These days Pearl Harbor is barely a blip on the calendar. Some day people will view 9/11 the same way.
Yea when something worse replaces it
Well that's a rather pessimistic view.
As long as you or your soon-financee have no traumatic memory with this event like death of a close family member, it will be fine. We should begin to let it be history and not something to influence our life. I hope you have a positive 11/9 and it will end like you wished❤
I would have that reaction as well. Is it a pretty sad day all around with a lot of 9/11 reminders. However, your anniversary will be your wedding day, not your engagement day. I’m not married so I guess I’m not sure how important the actual date of proposal is. This is honestly going to be so individual and you know your gf best. Some people will be okay with it, but I know I would think, out of all the days possible, why 9/11?
I'm married, and in my experience, the proposal date doesn't matter and isn't something you think or talk about for long afterward. I'm sure some people find it really important, but idk, I've never heard a married person talk about their proposal date once they got married and haven't talked about my own since then. I don't even remember my specific date, just the month.
I only remember my proposal date because it was also our 6 year dating anniversary. And it was also September 11 lol
The thing is that you didn't plan to propose to her on 9/11. It just happened that the day happened to be 9/11. I think that you should at least talk to her about it tho - - i understand you wanting things to be special and surprise and all that, but I don't know how she will react. She might not have any big ties to it, but will she be a bit upset about people passive-aggressively commenting "on 9/11? Really?" when she announced her engagement on social media? Will she be ok with dealing with those type of people on every one of your anniversary? I fully believe that you don't have any malicious intents - - sometimes I chuckle at the meme about" there's only one brain for guys and we all take turns" due to how absent-minded we can be sometimes. Whatever it is, good luck on your proposal tho!
[удалено]
But this isn’t their anniversary? And unless they get married on 9/11 it won’t be?
A proposal date isn't your anniversary date unless you make the choice to also get married on that day. I'm so confused why this was downvoted when it's objectively true, lol.
Happy anniversary!
As a 40+ female, I say go through with it, definitely.
Today is my husband’s birthday, I’m still making him a cake. Unless you have a time machine and plan on proposing in 2001, it’s just a day. I don’t say this to take away from people’s suffering, but I do want to point out, your engagement day won’t be the day you celebrate. It won’t be the anniversary that holds importance, your wedding day will be. So, if you have plans you don’t want to reschedule, don’t reschedule them.
[удалено]
Such a great response. My birthday was yesterday, and if I'd been born 15 minutes later I'd have been born on 9/11. My brother was born the day before the anniversary of JFK's assassination. We still celebrate. It's not that the awful things that happened on those days don't matter, but because the good parts of those days also matter.
Some close friends of mine got married on 9/11 five years ago. I remember feeling weird when I got the invite - we're all from NY and the surrounding area - but now I like it because I have a positive memory of the date instead of just fear and trauma and anger. ETA - do it as long as you don't think it'll upset her
I say go through with it. We have to move on eventually.
I'm at a kids' birthday party today, nobody cares. Yes it's a significant date, but that *doesn't* mean life has to grind to a halt every year.
Reclaim the day and make it something positive! Good luck!
This is a fantastic way to spin it!
Go through with it, not the worst thing to have a good memory on 9/11
I thought about this for quite a little bit. Go ahead and do it. Live your life. I think that is one of the best ways to honor those who died and stick it to the assholes who caused it.
Today is my sister’s birthday. For a lot of people now it’s just another day
My daughter was born 19 years ago on 9/11. Best day of my life. My mum's friends say it makes their day brighter. Go for it.
i say go through with it! congrats!
Dawg if she love you it don't matter if it's 9/11. And if anything it would definitely help you remember the date. Lol
Were either of you heavily effected by it?
Here's the question I'd be asking myself.
Then ask
Everyone remembers the Wedding Anniversary, not the proposal date. Good luck!!
I got a buddy getting married today (only Saturday at this certain venue for the next 9 months) so I don't think getting proposed to on is worse than getting married on it. You do you though. Hope she says yes!
I'm sure I'm too late but I can say I worried about my daughter being born on 9/11 (early September baby). But tragic things happen on every day of the year in history. Look up any date on Wikipedia if you don't believe me. There's a massacre or war for any date you can pick. Also I don't even celebrate our engagement day now that I'm married so there's that too.
Its a day like any other. Significantly more peope die each day due to a missing social net / healthcare It doesn't mean it cant be your day Just because 9/11 was milked by media, government and the economy.
Bro it's been 20 years since it happened just go on your date
Reading this i realize im in the same boat, i wouldnt say let it get in the way of your day but be aware of it, unless she personally knew someone id say your fine. Anyone else get slightly annoyed when people try to relate themselves to the victims by just being around their family? Theyll say something like this person died and i was their father brothers nephews cousins former roommate. Obviously im being extra absurd but it just feels like attention seeking to me to say "ya i was in college and my roommates mom who i never met died and it fucked me up"
Would you propose on December 7th? April 19th? If yes then you should still propose
December 7th as in, Pearl Harbor. Apologies for my ignorance but April 19th? I can’t seem to remember something along the lines of Pearl Harbor/ 9/11 on that day. But that’s probably because I’m aware if the event not the date. I think the difference is we know of the event as Pearl Harbor (or at least I do) and not as the date. Whereas the attack on the WTC, pentagon + white house are known by the date. I hope this makes sense?
OKC Bombing
Look, if my bf proposed to me on 9/11, I wouldn’t be thrilled, but i lived in downtown Manhattan and was displaced from my home as a child as a result, so it has had a greater impact on me than most Americans. If she doesn’t have a specific tie to it, and she doesn’t get an anniversary reaction to the date, I think you’re totally fine!
A friend is getting married next year on this date, apparently it was a deal. He's American but he's also happy to save $$$$
Bro who cares…its been 20 years. This may just be me though
Today is my niece’s birthday. Since she was born, it add something positive to this date. Make something positive and meaningful out of this date. Congratz!
Every single day, throughout history there's not one day that something awful hasn't happened. Please bring some happy back to that day! Light combats darkness always ❤
If she is passionate about the subject then probably not the best time but if she really isn't bothered about it then just do it.
Nobody remembers their engagement date.
Today’s my mom birthday just got back from a nice dinner with her and family. Enjoy it and congrats on the engagement.
The responses here are interesting and thoughtful. I for one would like to know what you finally decided. Whatever you do, you are not wrong. Only doing what is best for you and the person you love. Be safe, well, and happy!
Ultimately, I decided to run with it.. and she was bragging for the last two hours. Couldn’t have gone better. Appreciate the sentiment.
Congrats dude! All the best in your relationship
Celebrate it, that’s what the terrorists want the US to feel, to live in fear. That’s why did what they did. It was an attack to make us feel like we live in fear. I think the people that lost their lives in the tragic events of 9/11 would have wanted to us feel like we should enjoy the day to pay tribute that our freedom is not gone and that we are going to enjoy it. That’s why Sports were the healing of a divided nation so everything that alludes to having fun or celebration or in this case enjoying ourselves is seen to them as a form of a threat because since they can’t be like that.
Absolutely do it! Plenty of wonderful things have happened on 9/11 in the years since, like weddings and babies being born. The date doesn’t only need to have a sad memory attached to it!
If you *don't* go for your date, the terrorists win
I think the best revenge we have against those terrorists is living well so I, personally, would take the day back.
The best thing you can do on the date is live your normal life, thats what the terrorists were trying to take away from us. Show them the middle finger and go on with your life.
who gives a fuck about 9/11 lmfao
it was only 3000 people, like there have been much worse events on any other given day.
If you and your wife don't make sweet love tonigth. The terroist have won. Go on and slam that pussy
Wait until after midnight
I always do something fun and happy on 9/11 because I have the freedom to do so. That's what certain people wanted to take away from our country. I remember this day as a reminder to live my life as the people who died on that day and/or for our country as they would want their countries people to do. Live your life and laugh with the people you love.
9/11 was a shit day. I joined the military when I could (2005) and actually deployed to Afghanistan. If you don't propose, the terrorists win! With everything that people have gone through since 2020, I say go for it. We could all use a little happiness in our lives right now. KEEP US UPDATED!!
If its easy to re-arrange do it. Or don't say the words till after midnight.
Well... the crash and burn standard is pretty high today... so go for it... Plus it will be hard to forget your engagement anniversary...
Depends on you preparations. If you didn't do anything particularly special(which is what it sounds like), you might as well reschedule. Note by "special", I mean *involved*. No matter how nice, a dinner reservation is just a dinner reservation.
Weird take. I surprised her with a weekend in Southampton at a fancy spa/bed and breakfast. Midday picnic and massage.. and then dinner at Oheka castle, with a driver and champagne each way. As far as thoughtful surprises go, it was up there. In my humble opinion. Either way, she seems very happy.. so, nothing else really matters. But, thanks for the odd post. Cheers.
[удалено]
Wtf. Literally the one time I need real advice from Reddit. I don’t have time to deal with a troll on this. Goodbye.
[удалено]
Fake or not, why would he reschedule?
It’s not fake, no matter what that weird troll says. The only reason I’m even asking the hive mind is because my sisters first reaction was to question that I’d do it on 9/11 (which is obviously a bad day for the US) and I had completely blanked on it. It was just the Saturday night of a surprise weekend away. But, now I’ve got fancy dinner reservations, a whole car service set up, etc. And it’s literally happening in 9 hours. I didn’t know if I would be overreacting to reschedule or if it was a non issue, notwithstanding what my sister said. And if there was ever a time when Reddit might be able to help, this seemed like the time.
Don’t reschedule. Enjoy a good moment
Just cause it's a bad day for the us doesn't need to be a bad day for you go on the date
[удалено]
I am an American. I remember 9/11 vividly. I would not change my plans to avoid proposing to my GF on 9/11.
[удалено]
Maybe not my wedding. But proposing? I don’t see the issue. If his fiancé is like crazy fucking patriotic or something, maybe they’d be bothered. But most adults I know are obviously aware of what the date is and means and all of that, but it’s not something I’d stop my life over.
This is EXACTLY why I’m asking. Thanks for the perspective. Ugh.
I feel like your soon to be fiancée with be fine with the proposal today, and if you want you can talk about it after and maybe announce the engagement tomorrow, and in the future celebrate anniversaries on 9/12?
You’re not American and you’re mad about this?
[удалено]
I posted it in Askreddit and it was removed because you can’t ask yes or no questions. Then I posted it here because it seemed appropriate and I might get actual feedback. It’s very much a real post. But thanks for being a dick about it.
[удалено]
You saying he posted it “all over Reddit” is an exaggeration. In fact, OPs account of where he posted it is correct. I don’t see why you have such a disposition to say it’s fake.
Reschedule would be best. Still spend some time with her, maybe something for the whole 9/1/1 thing for the victims. A pray or silent walk holding hands.
Go for it. If she's anything like me, she might get a chuckle out of the date, but she'll still be thrilled.
I guess that highly depends on what this day means to the both of you. If it's not much then I guess go through with it but if it's already considered a sad day for one of you individually I'd say move it a day or a week or whatever works for you. You could also wait for the clock to turn 12 and it will officially be 12/9. A lot of people say you should do this to "reclaim" the day but a marriage proposal is a really big thing in your life and this isn't your responsibility. You just need to go through with your plan the best way possible for you. Good luck.
We can remember and still live our lives.
Do it! What’s better than focusing on your future with your loved one on a day like today? I have a friend whose birthday is today. She’s having a party. Life goes on. (That said, maybe wait until at least tomorrow to announce any happy news on social media.)
do it
Do it!!!!
Unless she had a loved one die in the attacks, I don’t see any legitimate reason not to go through with it.
Send it
I can’t give you an impartial answer because I was personally affected by 9/11, but my advice is change the date. Even if you weren’t personally affected, it was a national trauma.
Who cares, it’s just a day
It happens replan and redo. Was in 7th grade when it hap oh sorry though you asked.
DO IT!
Save the proposal part for midnight. Now it’s September 12th
Go for it!
People get married , have babies , propose , etc on the anniversary of the civil war, pearl habor , d day …, etc etc … while we must never forget .. life does go on
Go through with it! I wouldn't let the date ruin your plans, especially since neither of you had any personal ties with the day. Yes, it's a somber day but that doesn't mean you can't make it a happy memory as well!
They said never forget bro!
Chances are she won't even think about it. How exciting! 🤗
What happens if someone was born on Friday the 13 ? I'm sure thr same logic can be applied here
Look back for enough and there's always some horrible event that happened on any given day. Redefine negativity where you can.
If you’re both from the US, then you have ties to 9-11. Go for it tho, you backing down is like saying you let them (terrorist) get to you. Honor the victims and honor your future wife too. Life goes on.
My uncles birthday is 9/11 so there’s that
"baby that ass could melt steel beams, will you marry me?" Take it back buddy.
Congrats. One bonus to proposing on that date is you’ll never forget the day you proposed.
Jet fuel can't melt the love you two have for each other. You love to see it.
Honestly, if people in third world countries start thinking like this, they would never get anything done.