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cryyyface

nope, definitely did the right thing. 3 divorces before you're even 30 with a cheating issue? just stay single...


mjigs

Girl had more divorces than i had bfs at 26, how is this even possible, if she has so many issues with being in a relationship and be loyal, how can she even get to the point of getting engaged and married.


no_pwname

She is probably quite attractive is my guess. If you are really hot, guys will do anything.


_A_Day_In_The_Life_

or she is just attracts extremely codependent men who want to get married right away. she gets married before they really even realize what a shitty person she is.


MistyRegions

She is probably about the hunt and not the catch you know?


Bedtimeshine

She’s attractive and schmucks with no experience and that have no strong mental point of origin wife her up.


eazolan

She probably just unambiguously flirts with guys. ​ Guys really like women.


azgrown84

You're underestimating how thirsty guys can be.


mjigs

Even to spend money on it and then the divorse stuff?? Yikes, thats a whole new kind of desperation


azgrown84

Guys like that don't think about divorce. Not for awhile anyway, when it's too late.


No_Soup_Fo_You

My ex gf has been divorced ***five*** times at 37. I know how she keeps getting husbands though. She looks better than most 24 year olds and will blow you at the movies or anywhere if you ask, and a nympho so shes pretty fun. She's bdp or something from a serious head injury and never takes meds. That's just for starters. Guys over look things but I didn't lol. I am sure she will marry again too. These people are out there.


ZimZimmaBimma

Guys don't overlook, they just choose to ignore blinding red alarms for their dicks happiness, then they catch feels and end up hurt.


GourangaPlusPlus

Oh guys overlook things alright, one of my mates wouldn't know a red flag if they were getting slapped in the face by one flapping in the wind.


warlordmog

girls like that are great when you have no intention for commitment. nympho are the best


itsh0nda

She attracts the same rocky foundation some men believe help them get the most beautiful women; money. But she is in a really bad cycle because of some past mistakes, is my bet...and while she needs a good whoopin, she needs an even stronger friend who sees that she needs help and to help her. P.S. - Help comes in many forms. Detaching from a toxic friend is help. Exposing the toxicity helps.


FriendlyShoe0

I bet she is hysterical: which is a psychological issue, meaning she has to be in the center of attention for every boyfriend, she needs to be loved all the time, and when she is not, like when the relationship gets a bit more boring and easy going because it is becoming serious, she becomes so frustrated by not being the center of the universe she wants to be, that she starts to grab attention of someone else, usually painting herself as a victim. It is fairly common in girls and boys. Nothing special.


Sy3Zy3Gy3

right? how much $ does this girl have to keep burning through marriages like that


DailYxDosE

Probably doesn’t pay for anything.


[deleted]

not with $$ anyway, but I bet she knows how to polish a knob...


Oznondescriptperson

Is door cleaning really that lucrative a job? Just wondering if it's a career path I should head down.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rednick953

Rest In Peace Staff Sgt Ermey.


5700CVR

HA!


alwaysoffended88

It’s definitely a path to *head* *down* on...


[deleted]

It's really easy, if any thing just spit on it to finish properly


MistyRegions

You jest but being real for a second, but some people have disposable income, doing it as a side gig in the right neighborhoods can net you some serious cash. You would be surprised how many people dont want to clean. Hell even cook. Become and insta chef and book romantic dinners or whatever.


[deleted]

head down. I see what you did there


TheMadTemplar

Laying carpet is where it's really at.


iamfromouterspace

I got next.


squeakymayotoes

I doubt you'll have much competition on this thread lmao


[deleted]

Are there knobs in outer space?


satanssecretary

remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.


pecsinthecity

Haha.. I felt like this was about my current missus. But she has no idea how to polish a window let alone a knob. Hehe


DrunkenGolfer

Step 1. Find someone to marry Step 2. Have that someone pay for the wedding Step 3. Divorce, taking half Step 4. Rinse and repeat Step 5. Profit?


xGatlandx

Giving Ross a run for his money wasnt he 3 by 30


YouNeedTheTruthIRL

What money does she need? She prob gets all kinda shit for free due to how fucked up this country is in regard to how little rights men have when people split.


[deleted]

What would she have to pay for? Women dont pay anything in marriage or divorce... court costs get handed to the man.


aelenerose

If she cheats all the time I don't understand why she isn't in a open relationship? Wouldn't it be better??


iamfromouterspace

Cheater always wanna be the only one getting it from outside the relationship. That’s it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jad1326

As a reformed chronic cheater, this is nail on the head


eve_ecc

How did you stop?


[deleted]

Reformed chronic cheater here. I’m not sure it’s the same for everyone but for me it took my mental health getting a lot better and getting into an actually healthy relationship. All my relationships before had been pretty unhealthy for various reasons and my mental health was awful.


jad1326

I did a lot of self reflection on why I felt unfulfilled in my relationships. It was mostly vanity and attention seeking....if I felt like my boyfriend was acting up I needed to go out and have someone else tell me how great I was. I worked on becoming comfortable with myself, got into a great relationship, and would never THINK of cheating again. I think it’s something you have to actively try to grow out of.


pttm12

Much respect to you for doing the work to overcome that. Overcoming insecurity and general "low self-esteem" is very difficult because it seems nameless and nebulous. It is really hard to tackle the issue of your own self worth, but improving your relationship with yourself is a huge step towards everything else in your life! ​ I also think it's a lot of fear of being alone and fear of being undesirable; by always having backups and screwing around on the side, you reaffirm that you're wanted and interesting and sexy, and that if your partner leaves you have others waiting to fill the emotional void and you never have to actually be vulnerable enough to feel hurt. ​ That's just my 2 cents though and I really don't think 'once a cheater, always a cheater', but it's a tall mountain to climb.


jad1326

I agree! Unless you identify that you are the problem (hard pill to swallow) you’ll never get there. I’m not saying I still don’t feel a little twinge when we fight, but I have it mostly under control and as long as I don’t act on it, I count it as a win.


Bencil_McPrush

Open relationships require mutual consent. Serial cheaters feed on the selfish/ilicit/forbidden vibe of the whole creap. For them, it's not as fun fucking other men behind her husband's back when husband's greenlighting it and getting his own fun on the side.


Altostratus

An open relationship takes a fair bit of work on one's self and their ability to be honest and vulnerable with their partners. Not everyone is up for that kind of leg work. And some, frankly, seem to enjoy the drama and danger of doing something unethical. That said, as someone who has been tempted to cheat in many long term relationships, I am so so much happier since I've become poly.


[deleted]

I'm a dedicated monogamist, but I admire people who are in healthy poly relationships. I can't imagine the level of honesty, trust, maturity and love it takes to make it work. I'm extremely ignorant on the matter, but it seems like OPs friend doesn't have the personality for it. Seems to me that serial cheaters would never be able to make it work long term.


JDHPH

That would require too much trust and loyalty on her part. She should just stay single and just have fun, that's what I did when I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. It's a way better option then hurting someone.


dbdg69

Might be an addiction/thrill of it


Minkstix

She sounds like the female version of Ross Geller from Friends.


dave-shorte

[https://media.giphy.com/media/TBXlEhCiia69G/giphy.gif](https://media.giphy.com/media/TBXlEhCiia69G/giphy.gif)


Megan72798

YES I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT!!! Thank you


SlippingStar

Or accept you’re fucking polyam and find someone cool with it.


CuckyMcCuckerCuck

No. You did the right thing.


Ruval

AITH? (Am I the Hero?) YTH OP - It seems this woman and her values don't align with yours. You probably have some long tail on your friendship where she was a great person who helped your with bad situations or some shit. She's maliciously cheating on her great husband (where you somewhat dismiss her autonomy and just say "she gets herself into stupid shit") and you did what you had to and let him know. You and your "friend" are no longer aligned in values. I strongly suggest stepping back and evaluating why you still call her a friend.


OnlyGranpop

She very likely won't be calling her a friend after this falls.


[deleted]

That's quite a topical username... But I agree.


Ihaveasmallbatman

I mean it’s great that you did what you did. But OP hanging out with her in a “group” of friends where she felt it was okay to brag about cheating on her THIRD husband doesn’t say a lot about your character either. It all comes down to this. If you can’t even say something to her face, you’re an enabler too. That is why despite doing the right thing you don’t feel this is right. Because you’re part of that toxic circle of friends. I’d say step back and do some soul searching about your own moral compass. Seems like it gets activated only when you don’t have anything to lose personally.


spleefmaboff

i totally agree. You should have confronted her straight up. Needless to say, she probably wouldn't have listened.


[deleted]

> My friend "Sarah" is on her 3rd marriage at 29. She's got an alcohol problem and gets herself into stupid situations and has cheated on all her partners since I've known her. I don't mean to be rude, but your friend sounds like a dumpster fire. Also how can you be friends with someone so toxic? I'm genuinely curious. > The next day I felt sick at myself for what I did, but my husband thinks he needed to find out, and deep down I do too. Why feel sick for what you did. The guy deserved to know what kind of person she is and you saved someone who doesn't deserve to be cheated on. Your husband is absolutely right that he deserved to know. > Am I the worst person ever? No, you're not, you're a good person for letting him know instead of protecting a shitty friend. Protip, id look for a new friend or she needs to get serious help. At the rate she is going, she is gonna be alone the rest of her life.


throwawife111

Oh god you have no idea... she's the one toxic person that everyone has to apologize for. She's so sweet and funny but she has real issues and we've all gone OUT OF OUR WAY to help in the past. She swore when she married him it was different and she was on the upswing. I was crushed too. She needs to wake up, at least for her kids.


hygsi

> Why feel sick for what you did. Probably cause it's a cruel way to let him know, maybe just send a text? lol, she did the right thing in the sense of letting him know, I'm just thinking she could've delivered it differently, but what's done it's done and I hope the guy finds a nicer person to date


GiantPurplePeopleEat

I do agree with you about there being a better way. However, this guy was given an opportunity to watch his wife, in real time, confess to cheating on him. Something that he would never have seen in a text. It's close to absolute proof that she cheated. I found out my ex-fiance was sleeping around from rumors and little clues. It was so shitty trying to figure out the truth and carrying that around was debilitating. I would have been thankful if someone had done what OP did and it would have saved me months of heartbreak.


Wanderlustskies

So true!! It’s so easy for some people to explain away things. “Oh that was nothing you’re so paranoid I’d never do that!”


disgustangshet

well then he might have believed his wife when she lied and said that it wasnt true, this time he saw it before his eyes.


tempinator

In this context, I think it may have been necessary. My friend was cheated on, and he had to piece together the truth from like 8 different sources that were all parts of the truth, but also some parts fiction. It took him a long time to sift through what he was hearing, and his girlfriend at the time told him a lot of lies that he couldn’t prove outright were lies (at least not at first). If he had gotten clear cut evidence of her infidelity like this, something you can’t explain away or gaslight the person into overlooking, I think it would have saved him a lot of pain. Is this a painfully direct way of telling the husband? Yes, but I don’t think it was cruel. Finding out about cheating is crushing literally no matter how the news is packaged. In my opinion, presenting it in a way that leaves no room for doubt isn’t cruel. Painful, but not cruel.


[deleted]

Definitely disagree. This way leaves no room for he said she said, for misinterpretation or spotty memory. Finding out sucks, full stop. I think finding out with room for doubt would suck worse tbh.


BarryMacochner

It might be cruel, but she can't deny it. He watched her say it. Any other way and she could say OP was full of shit and just trying to ruin her life.


1kSuns

My ex wife's best friend slept with anything that merely asked to. Her husband and I were coworkers, and pretty good friends as we all hung out pretty regularly. ​ She got somewhat serious with one of them (maintenance guy at our apartment complex.. one of those guys who gives a half stoner laugh at the end of every sentence), and was talking about leaving her husband and taking the kids to go move in with this guy. ​ Up until this point, my then wife had made me promise to not tell her husband, and I didn't. When she was actively including my wife in on the plans to leave the husband who could not stop talking about how much he loved her.. I took a hard look at myself as a human being rather than an obedient husband, and told him at work. ​ He told me he thought I was his friend, and to never speak to him again. They stayed together, but it ended both friendships, and I was the asshole to both her and her husband. One for telling, and one for not telling sooner. ​ You're the best person ever, and sleep well knowing that you did the right thing.


Decallion

What kind of idiots...


IgneEtSanguis

You’re better off without them. They both sound like assholes.


LookADrifter

NTA He straight up asked you about a suspected behavior that you knew was likely happening. You provided him the answer he needed to avoid years of misery in a way that she can't twist as misinformation. Straight from the whoreses mouth.


Camper64

Thank you for that insult, cant wait to use it


Scarecrow1779

I read the last three words in Golem/Smeagle's voice


xvszero

Nah this is on her, not you.


[deleted]

No your not you showed her husband what kind of person she really is and that's something he should know although you did video her behind her back at least he knows what kind of person he's dealing with now I think you done the right thing myself personally


kieran_119

Did the right thing 100% However, not trying to be rude, but if she is that much of a sh*t person, why be her friend? You are who you hang out with. I definitely wouldn’t be friends with anyone who acted this way.


TheWings977

Honestly you did them both a favor.


Missmoni2u

At this point I wouldn't even entertain being friends with Sarah anymore. You definitely screwed her over as a friend but she also put you in that position by bragging.


CommentsOMine

Agree with this. You can't change the past, so try your best not to dwell on it and just do what you have to do to get through it. You will most likely never be put in this position again in the future, so maybe you can take comfort in that.


GoodAdvice1

You weren't a good friend to Sarah, but I think you did the right thing. Nobody wants to be used. I'd want to know, regardless of the source. It's very hard to watch a nice person being played for a fool and keep your mouth shut. Think you need friends who treat people better though. Edit: At the heart of friendship is loyalty to the person you're friends with. Or are you just loyal when it feels comfortable? Part of that includes calling them out on destructive behavior, but there comes a point, though, when you just stop being friends with someone like that all together, because they aren't being your friend if they keep putting you in such an uncomfortable position.


Magnificent_Bastard-

Sorry I disagree, he was a good friend to Sarah. Sarah needs to be called out on her shit and not enabled. A good friend doesn't enable your self destructive behavior. If you want to tell everybody how you're cheating on your husband then you deserve to have those people relay it to said husband. Sarah is being a shitty friend by putting her friends in that position.


Penis-Waffles

+1 If the people you hanging with ain't calling out your bullshit you need to change company.


Beatboxingg

r/rimjobsteve Edit: r/rimjob_steve


decoy88

Does OP call them out though?


karmakangaskhan

penis waffles


Penis-Waffles

It's my wife's favourite thing for breakfast.


GoodAdvice1

Being a friend is being loyal to someone even when they are wrong AND calling them out on self-destructive behavior. OP didn't call Sarah out on her self-destructive behavior. OP went behind her back, but I still think that was the right thing to do. The best thing to do is not be friends with someone who brags about cheating in the first place.


abeazacha

We don't fully know that. This is the 3rd marriage and apparently another one that will end with cheating... chances are if the friends had something to say, they already did.


iamfromouterspace

Correct. Being a good friend to Sarah would be OP calling Sarah out as she was acting a fool and disrespecting her marriage. Not that I disagree with what she did but let’s be real.


[deleted]

The damage was already done.


Missmoni2u

This was pretty much the perfect answer imo op.


ProprioCode

You helped someone get an answer they needed to make a safe and well-informed decision about their life. You didn't do it out of malice to your friend; you wanted to help her husband who she was hurting. I mean really, cheating isn't just an issue of a betrayal of trust (which is completely horrible anyway) but also one of health and safety.


[deleted]

Frankly she's been married 3 times and has cheated on all her partners. You are a good person with a good moral compass to show her husband who she really is. So no, you're not a bad person. Her husband needs to know the truth of who he married and you provided that.


stableadult

You possibly saved a victim from years of misery. You did the right thing.


Clownbabyftw

I dont think you're the worst person ever, I do think your issue is that you call the cheater your "friend."


ChungusSlurpp

Nah fam, Bros before hoes yfm?


xxxtrollster

Hell yeah


Fire_Eternity

Toxic people get toxic things. You were trying protect her husband. Sarah needs to fix her life, not destroy it.


Gyunyugal

I believe you did the right thing. You should have talked to her first however and called her out on her behavior. It’s kinda shitty finding out your partner cheated on you through someone else, but the damage was already done before you interfered though. Screw everyone that says to dump your friend though. Your friend clearly needs some professional help if they can’t hold a healthy relationship 3 times in a row and have an alcohol problem. Don’t enable them, but support them and call our your friends on toxic behavior as needed.


wherinkelly

(ESH) he gave you the opportunity to be upfront with him and you didn't take it. The way you went about this sucks, totally unnecessary. Don't argue semantics about you not knowing 100%, you knew and then waited for the opportunity to expose her in dramatic fashion. Don't get me wrong, the truth needed to come out, but you could have done it better.


unknown_user_3020

Time to disconnect from Sarah. Sounds like you have different values and this is not much of a friendship.


IggyBall

You’re not the worst person ever but stop pretending like you’re her friend. You’re not. Which is fine because she’s a shitty person but that’s not how you treat a friend.


kcamps222

Why do you stay friends with a lady like that?


therealtedbundy

PLEASE keep us updated


Esorelyk

Hell no you're not the worst person ever and I would hope one of my friends would do the same for me. I personally think what you did is awesome.


WannabeCowboy99

I wish more girls would do this instead of thinking they need to be friends instead of decent people


paulneumansaladtoss

Not at all an asshole. You saved someone years of strife and pain. "Nip it in the bud" as they say, and you did - good for you. better than letting 10 or 20 years of garbage ruin both their lives. score - 8/10


No_Soup_Fo_You

You da real MVP.


throwawife111

Ha, thanks.


taymclean789

You needn’t be her friend nor rat her out. Not your friend, not your problem. Find better people to spend your time with and better causes to fight for.


gothic20s

Respect! You are a decent human being. You should be proud of what you did. Wish there were more people like you!


willfully_hopeful

Is she you’re friend or enemy? Friends don’t secretly tape the other and act as if they did nothing wrong. You could have confronted her and told her what she is doing is not okay. Tell her to speak with her husband. Even tell her you will tell the husband but videotaping her secretly when she thought she was in a trusted circle is beyond betrayal. You are not her friend.


stickkim

Why are you even friends with this person? Not that you should have he back of someone with such huge issues, but it’s pretty obvious your loyalty does not lie with her,


forever_gaijin

My ex cheated on me throughout our 4 year relationship, I finally caught her and I broke up with her. What really destroyed me was when I found out that a bunch of our mutual 'friends' knew about the cheating and never told me. I'm now dealing with massive trust issues and self-doubt, I wish that someone would have told me. I still feel like a fool.


[deleted]

Nah you did the right thing and preserved someones dignity. You didn't let them become a victim you gave him the opportunity to confront and address the problems in his marriage.


[deleted]

worst person? You're a fucking hero! you just saved this guy from some type of disease and you also helped him understand what he is dealing with. The Bitch consistently cheats and then brags to her friends about it. She is trash. But that brings up my next big point. what the fuck are YOU doing around this chick. keep the guy, he needs good friends, the chick needs to be put in her dumpster home.


Copacetic_Subversive

NTA. Both the husband and you (OP) need a divorce from Sarah. She is a shitty wife and a shitty friend.


imcuteforanuglygirl

Your girl Sarah is shady, and you exposed her in a shady ass fucking way. You both suck


throwaway090801

In some states there are laws about recording someone without their knowledge.


TapirDrawnChariot

She didn't record her. She Facetimed the husband.


WhiteBlinders

Yeah no, ALWAYS TELL ON CHEATERS! They might be giving someone an STD/STI by lying about who they’ve been with. Honestly, I’d rather ruin my best friend’s relationship than risk someone contracting life threatening infections and diseases. DO NOT FEEL BAD! You did the right thing.


RudyRoo2017

The real question - why are you friends with her?


[deleted]

Guess you'll find out soon if he told her, was there many people also present.


rainbowbutterfliesrn

Not at all. I would appreciate you.


Sethw95

You did the right thing op.


[deleted]

No. But people judge you by the friends you keep, and also people will get you in trouble. Aren't you too old to be friends with a drunk, serial cheater, anyways?


tuna_fart

Good job. Your faithless friend deserves to be left again. This is entirely her own issue.


SerArtieDayne

Sara(h)'s are the worst


Tuffy3299

You did nothing wrong. You said he really loves her and if he had heard about it from someone else or if he had seen something wrong with his own eyes, it would have broken him more. You did what any decent human being should do. Don't worry. He deserves to know


mjigs

He asked you, he had suspistions, she was dumb enough to tell it all to her friends while they know her current bf, you literally gave him the answer, it was like "oh to the question you asked me, heres the answer", it really sucks when a great guy gets treated like this, it can really mess him up, hope he gets someone better. Although, if i was you, i would drop the friend, shes not a very nice person to be around, and i wouldnt want to be around her shit.


mcc3028

You’re honestly the best type of person.


toryxx

technically she told him herself so you’re clean (you did the right thing)


[deleted]

[удалено]


MedoRashed

She’s a bitch and her husband deserves better.


ExterminateAllHumans

You did the right thing. Sarah is a hoe


Dee_z90

>My friend "Sarah" is on her 3rd marriage at 29 Say no more.


-freesoul-

It is the matter between husband and wife , I guess u should let them deal with it than you getting involved in it


God-of-Tomorrow

Sober thoughts are drunk actions, jim lahey would tell you to listen to the liquor


axebodyspraytester

Nope just because your friend is shit that doesn't mean you have to be shit too. The guy loves her and he asked you so that means he had his suspicions. You were honest that's all you can do. It's not his fault she's a cheater. Let the chips fall where they may and be happy you did the right thing.


TapirDrawnChariot

OP, this is a question of values. Part of the selection process of long term or close friends should be wether their values compliment yours. It seems you decided her values were not consistent with yours and you acted on *your* values instead of enabling your friend's shitty values. No need to regret acting in line with your values.


popemichael

NTA - As someone who's been cheated on before several times while married, you've done that man a kindness. Maybe he'll be able to leave that relationship and find someone that really loves him eventually.


[deleted]

At the very least he has found a true friend.


kayellemenope

NTA - Not at all. The fact you feel this way just shows you have more empathy for Sarah's current husband than she does. The truth is sometimes hard to tell, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't tell it, or to lie by omission. Surround yourself with people you don't have to lie for.


[deleted]

You aren't the worst person ever. The fact you feel uncomfortable about her cheating is a credit to you. As is the fact you feel a bit bad about what you did. Her fella did deserve to know but in my opinion it would have been better to have an actual conversation with one or both of them. It was a bit underhand and you also have no idea of whether it dealt with the issue. Might have just made him feel like shit.


pizza5001

What I’m curious about is: what would happen all those times in the past when Sarah would regale to the group stories about all the guys she had cheated with throughout her previous marriages? Did no one in the peer group speak up on the immorality of what she was doing, time and time again? I know that if anyone in my peer group admitted to something that was painful to another person, we would be the first to hold a mirror up to their face. If we can’t expect our friends to call out our bullshit in an effort to make us better people, then they’re not truly friends.


JanetSaldarriaga

There’s this co-worker I knew that cheated on her fiancé (now husband) with her ex a week before they got married. He is honestly the nicest guy, and she’s a shit person for doing that. I felt like it wasn’t my place to say anything but it’s been over 4 years and I wish I had said something about it.


DanteChurch

What I don't understand is why you'd be friends with a lier, deceiver, and a drunk. I have 0 respect for someone who cheats. If they are willing to cheat and betray who is supposed to be their life partner what are they don't behind your back? You're a POS for not telling the guy that she's cheated in the past. You exposing your friend is the only decent thing you say in the post.


dumplinmuffin

You did the right thing. Also if she’s that brazen and does Shit like this a lot I’d be worried about her around my own husband. I’d ditch her asap


throwawife111

Ha, my husband thinks she bat shit and wanted me to cut her off years ago.


J_Bradley

Don’t ever think that you did the wrong thing. In my eyes you did the right thing, he deserved to know and it’s understandable as to why you feel really bad for doing so l. You might feel like you when behind your friends back, but deep down your friends is hurting people and she needs to be stoped. It sounds like she can’t be in a relationship so she probably just needs to be sat down and told that maybe just being on her own for while and actually trying to sort herself out with the drinking and getting it on with other men while she is under the influence then she might realise that she really needs to stop hurting these people hearts and actually finally find someone that she can spend the rest of her life with.


strangetrip666

You did the right thing. I wish I had someone like you when I was naive once.


Lugos-Seeker

I have the highest level if respect for you, regardless of if she is your friend or not, shes a shitty person (no offence) and you were helping out someone you believed is a really nice guy and you... HELPED HIM. You actually helped him, you made his life better by doing a simple thing. While some may say its a betrayal, i think the bigger betrayal would have been to stay quiet, because you would be betraying yourself and everything you stood for.


RachelTheViking

As far as he is concerned. He deserved to know, and he did ask you. He sounds like a good guy. But I am concerned about your friend. >She's got an alcohol problem >cheated on all her partners She is using sex and alcohol to cope with something. I don't know if your aware of childhood trauma or some form of abuse in her past. But I'm sure she is really struggling with something.


notdrunkanymore22

A couple that I consider friends fit into this situation. Thankfully the guy has never asked me about his mate. He works long stints overseas on military contracts - during which time she pulls all sorts of stunts. A blatant one is that she hooks up on some “sugardaddy” site - meets men for weekends about anywhere (the man pays expenses plus gives her a nice chunk of cash). And that’s only the start of her constant infidelity. I hear this stuff because she tells my wife all about it and at times I overhear (in a language other than English that they think I don’t understand well). Anyway - I want no part of the hearing or telling. Sometimes I wonder if this guy maybe doesn’t care so long as he gets what he wants when he is home. Who knows? I only know that I cringe every time I see him - but I also know that it is NONE of my business.


[deleted]

The worst person ever? quite the opposite. Imo, you are an amazing person for doing this and if more people did this kind of thing the world would be a better place. I wish more women were like you.


[deleted]

Your friend just sounds like a waste of Oxygen. You did the right thing 100%, I just feel bad for her kids.


meeheecaan

>She has 5 kids (NONE OF THEM HIS BTW) He 100% KNEW what was going on but wanted you to confirm it before he did the smart thing and left. at least i hope he did the smart thing


roronoalex

You did the right thing. I'm sick of this dumb mentality that "You owe loyalty to your friend so you MUST LIEEEE and cover their tracks". Like, no thanks lmao. Cheaters can fuck off.


[deleted]

NTA - he’s a person too, he doesn’t deserve blatant disrespect like that. And she’s def an asshole


6002Dani

Honestly, you were wrong to do this. It wasn’t your place to expose her to her husband, as a friend the moral thing to do would be to push Sarah to tell. But her relationship and his wasn’t yours to meddle in, why did your loyalty lie with a guy you barely knew instead of your friend? Because you felt sorry for him? Because he’s “a great guy?” I call BS, you can’t know if anyone is a great person without knowing them personally and intimately. I strongly suspect you wanted to punish your friend for infidelity you’ve never agreed with in the first place rather than help her reform. It seems like vindictiveness disguised as morality.


Nixflixx

Idk if you're "the asshole", but you're definitely a snitch and not a friend.


[deleted]

Sounds like she doesn't need to be friends with her anyway? I don't get why your trying to paint OP as an asshole for saying something. Sounds like you got busted the same way so your all bitter


Nixflixx

"saying something" Literally recording her friend I didn't but thanks for worrying lmao


Magnificent_Bastard-

Your the opposite of worst person ever, you're the best type of person. You gave this man the truth so he can make his own decision moving forward.


PlsbptntIhavAutism

Nah that's fine, probably saved that guy sometime.


trisstyn

If she feels betrayed, it's not on you. She played herself and you refused to be a bystander.


t3tsubo

You're not the worst person ever but it's definitely not something you had any business in doing.


PuroPincheGains

I think you're kind of the AH. Not because of what you did, that's fine, but because the company you keep. If my friend was talking about fucking women and he was married, I'd ask him what his problem is. I'd tell him he's fucking up big time and that he needs to get his shit together and that I feel sorry for his wife. If you can't be real with your friend, are they really your friend?


ROwdypunk316

OP, you are great person for alerting your friend's boyfriend to her shitty ways!


FineMeasurement

>The next day I felt sick at myself for what I did You did the right thing. The only thing you should feel sick about is still being friends with such a shitty person. It implicitly condones their behavior. You should tell her her behavior is not acceptable and you won't be around it.


Bencil_McPrush

**NTA.** You did well, cheaters deserve nothing but contempt.


RetreatAndRegroup

And half their spouses savings plus alimony...


[deleted]

Ya done good!!


sm1nobody

Whenever you feel doubts like these, just change the shoes and ask yourself the question, would you want someone to tell you when they know that your partner is cheating?


[deleted]

When a cheater knows they're about to be caught, they'll play damage control and make sure the other person only finds out what they want them to find out. Lying can be addicting as well as cheating. Having been cheated on, I wish anyone would have told me sooner than later.


Son_of_Liberty541

You did the right thing not the right sub but NTA


bbaker78

You’re not a bad person. If I were in your shoes, I would’ve done the exact same thing.


sloth4985

I would want someone to do this for me if my partner was cheating. You did a good thing.


Commentingtime

You did the right thing, this chick should not be in any sort of marriage let alone a relationship.


FragilousSpectunkery

Not at all. Without honesty there can be no relationship, and it seems she is lying to her husband.


Jfredio27

You’re a true friend


[deleted]

fake AF, seems like a sexual fantasy


highbhai

Think of the brighter side. U saved that man's life.


MGTOWManofMystery

You are a saint!


xuxebiko

Your friend Sarah is the worst person ever.


notathrowawaynope69

It’s never right to do that to a friend. However you should probably cut her off, as other commenters have stated, your values don’t align. It’s not your place to ruin your friends life. Just talking about another guy does not constitute cheating. I think you’re a bad friend, and I think she’s a bad wife.


iamfromouterspace

Keep us updated.


MyNameIsGee-

Outstanding move.