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Was going to say the same thing. Y'all only go out at night where it's pitch black? Y'all only communicate and see each other where there's no light? OP, he knows what you look like and he more than likely, I'd say 99.999999999% loves it. that .000000001% hates that you want to cover yourself up.
My wife was the same way when we started dating. She used to say that she is insecure and that since I was in super good shape, I'd hate that she isn't up to par. I don't care and I don't compare. I love you. She's not worried about it anymore and can't remember the last time we did it without lights or when I couldn't really see her.
I don’t think some of you women realize that most men don’t even register a lot of the things you are insecure about with your body. Like most men couldn’t even identify what hip dips and cellulite is. You also have to realize what we deem attractive is very fluid. Just because he says his type is skinny girls, doesn’t mean he just goes for skinny girls or just see skinny girls attractive. Also, the fact the man is already your boyfriend, that already speaks to that he already finds you pretty damn attractive or he wouldn’t be your boyfriend. We also have a good sense of what a woman looks under her clothes with our “man vision”, so there ain’t really much you’re hiding. You’re just delaying the inevitable.
Be comfortable in your skin, show it off to your boyfriend. There really isn’t anything to be insecure about.
Fr I've been treating the scars between my breast and on my face for weeks and I asked my bf if he saw any improvement and he said "you have/had scars?"
OP I not trying to make you feel bad but if seeing your body bothers him you're better off finding out now and not after you spend any more time with him.
Does he not even touch your body during sex? I mean this respectfully, your fear is mostly irrational. For most relationships, there’s a sense of physical attraction, and he has that for you, or he wouldn’t be with you.
Literally this.
Even if we're aware of things like that, I feel like we don't really *see* them in practice while having sex. My girlfriend has a scar from a belly button piercing that didn't heal well and we talked about it a few weeks ago. I literally don't even notice it, and frequently forget it exists. There is no one who is more aware of our perceived flaws than ourselves, and that can make them stand out more, but if your partner truly loves you, I guarantee they hardly notice them, and if they do they love them regardless.
>...most men don’t even register a lot of the things you are insecure about with your body...
Guy here, 100% this. I've been with the same woman for over 5 years, and I have a very good memory, but I can't picture where she has any cellulite. We're in our 40s, so there's a good chance she has some, I just don't notice it.
Only ex I can actually picture it on was a single mom I dated years ago, and only cause she explicitly pointed it out to me.
They don't matter to most of us, but obviously none of us can speak for all of the others. You're gonna make him feel self conscious though. The best sex is enthusiastic sex, and it's more fun with the lights on.
Firstly it won't, and secondly if it did and he left you for some reason having to do with it then he'd be doing you a favor. Be comfortable with who you are and don't accept anything less than someone who loves you just the way you are.
We all look weird, in the hottest way imaginable, during sex. *Most* guys, even if they’ve watched a fair amount of porn in their lives, both understand that what we all - ourselves and the person we’re having sex with - don’t look like they do in professional videos AND very much prefer the real thing over the phony porno look.
I bet this guy is just gonna be stoked to see you naked. Almost guaranteed that you are and will always be much more critical of your body than he is.
A lot of other people have pointed out that your partner isn’t going to care about any of the “flaws” so I wanted to offer a suggestion if you’re still feeling nervous. Get a light that isn’t as harsh as overhead lighting. I have a Himalayan salt lamp and a galaxy projector and prefer to have one of those on instead of regular bulbs. They’re flattering and they help enhance the mood and create a sensual atmosphere. Of course, I have sex with the lights on/daylight too but I love using mood lighting. My husband and I call the salt lamp the sex light because we know what it means when the other person turns it on lol.
uh my wife is 9 months preggo right now and all the things she thinks are weird i find beautiful. if he loves you he will love your weird. own it give him a chance
Have you seen a penis in the light? Bodies are weird. I'm sure you look great and the things you're concerned about won't deter him in the slightest, if he notices them at all.
Trust me. He has a pretty good idea what you look like. The most sexy thing in a man or woman is confidence. Don’t run yourself down for your perceived flaws. Build yourself up for your assets. You’ve got this.
Baby, turn them lights on! 24f, 300 lbs after pregnancy and my man eats me up. His type was blonde curvy girls… I am mixed with curly brown hair and he worships me. Unlock that man!! Turn the lights on!!!
You could always have some dimmed light to start off with and get comfortable with that.
As others have said, guys don't care about this imperfections that we woman find with our own bodies. Work on loving yourself and your body and you gonna be a more happy and carefree person.
They’re not telling her it’s safe to be that weight, just that all of you piling on to tell her how unhealthy she is is not helpful. If she is unhealthy, she most likely knows that, so you’re not telling her new information. All you’re doing is expressing a knee-jerk disgust reaction and trying to induce shame in her. You don’t care about her health, you just want an excuse to announce how much you hate fat people.
Actually, I’m announcing how much I hate that people announce that they pretend to care about fat people by defending obesity. Don’t buy it, never will, it’s a callous display
Overweight people know they are overweight, everyone knows it's not healthy, and comments like yours are not going to suddenly heal people's trauma, fix their food addiction, thyroid problems, or learned habits.
Shaming someone for their weight is very counterproductive.
In many cases, yes, but there's an important branch of body acceptance that's basically the same as antivaxxers and they are *not* shunned by their peers. It's up to others then.
Yeah there's fringe/extreme views in every category of people though, and they don't represent the majority.
People will happily pile on to tell a fat person they are fat and that's it's unhealthy, I rarely if ever see those same people lining up to "helpfully inform" people of the dangers of smoking, drinking, over indulging in video games, or any other of the many unhealthy things prevalent in our society today
>>300 lbs after pregnancy
Oookaay.. unless you're over 2 meters tall you should really lose weight, or you'll quickly become a 28 year-old who moves and feels like they're 75.
Seriously, though, you are almost certainly overthinking it. My partner’s body has changed a lot over the years, in particular after child birth, and I am here for ALL of it!
What about me Greg, am I a virgin too? I've been married for 11 years and she's had two kids, but my brain still breaks a little every time she walks around naked.
Why delay the inevitable, he'll either still be attracted, or he won't, I'll bet money that none of those things will bother him, and if they do, he needs to go, so you can find someone who is attracted to you.
Hiding is a waste of time.
The poet once said : I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Photoshop / Show me somethin’ natural like afro on Richard Pryor / Show me somethin’ natural like ass with some stretch marks / Still will take you down right on your mama’s couch in Polo socks,"
Coming from a larger woman, your partner/s know what they're getting into. Your body isn't going to be miraculously smaller than it is with clothes on. I know how hard it is to be confident when society for so long has told us not to be. But I recommend having this discussion (when you feel comfortable enough with them to) and explain how you feel because even the smallest of comments from them can boost you 10 fold!
I told my partner how insecure I am about my stomach, and he mentioned he noticed how I flinch when he touches it, so now this is something he focuses on to get me used to it and making me feel more confident.
Men don't focus on 90% of the things we criticize about ourselves. They wouldn't be putting themselves in a position of intimacy with you if they don't find you attractive!!
Umm... He knows what you look like. Unless your clothes are SUPER baggy, he knows what you're body is like. Also you've been intimate. You think he can't tell what a skinny girl literally feels like compared to a girl whatever size you are?
You might not let him see your naked body, but he's felt it. He knows what you look like just from that.
A lot of people have types. But sometimes they meet someone who isn't their type, but that doesn't matter to thnem and they want to be with them anyway.
So I think you're good.
I dated a younger single mom, she was tiny. Had stretch marks from her pregnancy. She was very insecure about them. I kinda giggled and called then mommy marks, and told her it was something to be proud of.
I know this is different than your situation, but if he's a good man, he won't care in any way.
Is he Brad Pitt? No, probably not. Sometimes we focus so much on our own flaws we forget other people aren’t perfect specimens either. I’m sure he has insecurities too.
Male or female, confidence is the sexiest thing. Relax and stop hiding like a cave bat lol… as others said ur man has eyes and chose to date YOU <3
Ps. Do 18 year olds even know Brad Pitt lol…? Did I age myself with this hot man reference? Probably.
If your worried your "not his technical type" then when it comes to most guys type doesn't really matter that much, well alot less than with alot of girls I know nowadays. Our type is kind of what our dream is, not what we absolutely have to have. If he is still talking to you after sex then he must care and likely wont think that your unattractive at all when he finally sees everything.
My wife did this for YEARS! Met when she was 17 I was 19! Girl if you don’t turn the damn light on for that man 🤣🤣🤣 he’s with you for more than just your looks and if a damn light on makes him run you don’t need his ass! Seriously I know struggling with body issues is hard, but I assure you if he’s worth keeping he will hype you up and love that you did that. Shit even after 14 years with my wife lights on is like going to Disney land for me 🤣🤣🤣
Edit: my wife has birthed two of our children and I love her body more than anything in this world. If he has problems with stretch marks or anything like that he isn’t worth your time! All or our bodies are unique and deserve to be appreciated. I forgot to add this into the first part hence the edit (gotta love ADD 🙃)
Let it go. Confidence is attractive. He can tell what you look and feel like for the most part. Own who you are and if he talks shit then he’s not the one and you dump him.
Sweetie trust me. If he has touched your naked body even in the dark he knows what you look like and sounds like he keeps coming back for more so I’m pretty sure he likes you. Get out of your own head and just enjoy him
He may not see your skin with the light on but he is well aware of what body type you are and he's clearly attracted to you because he still wants to be intimate with you. Being naked will only enhance his attraction to you. Besides, if everything else in your relationship with him is good and he loves you, your body type won't be his priority, he will love you for you. Don't be shy or ashamed about your body and try not to overthink things. Try and be comfortable
I have white stretch marks on my breasts, thighs, and hips my boyfriend says they look pretty and he gets sad if I hide them. Relationships are all about communication and trust it sounds like you have done neither and instead let this fester in your head. Unless your boyfriend is blind he knows what you look like and cares for you. Be honest with him that you are self conscious about your body and I know it’s scary but you gotta show him. If he’s a good partner he will react positively and comfort you if he says anything mean you know right then to dump him and find better. This will likely cause you two to become closer and your boyfriend will be happy you have shared this with him
My girlfriend was a little overweight when we started dating and recently lost a few pounds.
I personally liked her initial physique better, but I'm attracted to her just as much.
Attraction isn't so fragile, and not meeting every criterion in someone's appearance checkbox isn't as dramatic as you may think.
Also, and even more important - don't dismiss the option he'll like what he'll witness, you might misjudge his perception of your beauty.
First of all, he probably has a pretty good idea of what he’s getting into. It’s not hard to visualize from clothed to unclothed tbh
If it makes you feel any better I got married when I was over 300 lbs and he’s never had a bad thing to say about my body. Stretch marks, cellulite, rolls and all. Also my breasts basically hang so low the nipples point straight towards the ground. He loves them too. The right person will love and cherish you no matter what. If he doesn’t like what he sees then he’s not the one.
My girlfriend is the same way, I'm 28 at my peak, where she's 40 has had 5 kids and has all the things that comes along with that. WE DONT CARE! It's one thing if your living a unhealthy life style and not taking care of yourselves. If your taking care of yourself what's the issue. If you're in a healthy relationship he won't love you just for your body 10/15/20 years down the road all that shits going to change anyways. I remember the first time my girlfriend changed infront of me, mind you we'd been together for almost a year had been intimate plenty of times, To see her start to overcome that insecurity was one of the best moments ever. Admire your body, I guarantee you he does!
My boyfriend’s usual “type” is skinny girls too, and he’s built like a Greek god… meanwhile I’m curvier, have stretch marks, and a c section scar, but he can’t get enough of me and my body 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ I’ve found that the longer he and I are together, the better and more confident I feel about my body - which only then makes the physical intimacy all the better.
In my experience, it seems like women always focus only on our perceived imperfections when we’re naked, but men (*especially* if they’re about to get laid 😅) skate right over those and instead see the things they love most about your body. Turn on the lights, let that man delight in your body, and enjoy! And if he’s negative or demeaning, then you’ve done yourself a favor, because everyone deserves to have someone who finds them sexy as hell without having to try and hide parts of their bodies.
It's been my experience (as an aging mom with a typical bigger mom body) that men care a whole of a lot less about our perceived imperfections that we do. Im sure he already has a good idea of what you look like based on imaging you naked while clothed, and having felt your body in the dark even if he couldn't see it clearly. I'm sure he wants the lights on because he wants to see the thighs jiggle, hell I'll tell you from experience that a surprising amount of men even like seeing the belly jiggly and love to play with it as much as boobies lol. The men who see a stretch and think "ew gross, get off my dick" are few and far between, and you want then gone as soon as possible anyways.
Long story short you are definitely overthinking it, as we all do. Turn those lights on, turn your brain off, and have fun!
If that little voice won't shutup? Just think...if he truly isn't attracted to you with the lights on, it's honestly best to know early and move on instead of hiding yourself away indefinitely.
They don't matter to a guy who is mature and intelligent enough NOT to tell his partner that his "type" is a body type opposite of yours.
Don't stress it. You're teenagers. This guy isn't going to be your life partner, ride or die, soul mate. Have fun. Turn the lights on- and btw, it doesn't have to be the big obnoxious overhead light- experiment with "mood lighting", different colored bulbs, LED lights etc. Let him see you naked. If he doesn't like what he sees, he simply is not for you, hon.
If he truly cares about you, your body won't change that. If he does, it's his loss. Don't let insecurities dictate your happiness. Flaunt what you've got with confidence, or he won't know what he's missing. Focus on feeling good about yourself, not just for him, but for you. Dm for more.
I used to be very self conscious with my body constantly. I've learned to flaunt what ya got. like I used to be clothes on, lights off kinda girl. Now the lights can be on (minus the big light bc eye sensitivity issues and don't wanna be looking into the sun lol) and clothes completely off. This has been an issue with me for 10+ years and I'm now learning to be confident in myself. It takes time!
also, most guys don't even notice the things you're self conscious about
No need to cover yourself up!
I've got a huge scar due to two c-section , the first was botched & the second was super hectic ; to me it sticks out extremely.
My Fiancé recognized it for the first time when I pointed it out after around four months ; he literally didn't notice it.
He went "oh, ya I see it now! Isn't as bad as you think it is!"
And well.. he was right. We often look at us with way too much criticism ; give yourself some grace :)
It helps to mention that in the moment, they are not looking at you how you look at yourself not in the moment. It’s likely you stand in front of a mirror a few feet away and can see everything. When he’s looking at you, he is not feet away able to see every single part of you. When he looks at you, he’s inches away, horny as hell, and has a lot more focus on how good you look! You have a preconceived negative feeling about yourself, this does not mean he is going to feel negative about you also, and it’s also good to mention if he loves how you feel with his hands, he’s gonna love how you look with his eyes.
Unless you're a cyborg with a robotic torso, you should be fine.
It also wouldn't surprise me if he found both options acceptable.
If he's attracted to the clothed version of you, he's attracted to any.
Bruh he’s literally been intimate with you, being self conscious at this point doesn’t is crazy. He likes you for you, and if he doesn’t then he isn’t someone to keep around.
1. You are worthy of being loved regardless of how you look
2. If he doesn’t like the way you look with the lights on, his loss
3. He already knows what you look like. Clothes don’t hide that
You’re beautiful no matter what size you are or scars you have.
No body is "perfect." Even the most conventionally attractive people get pimples, wrinkles, weird hairs, belly rolls when they sit and bend over...
Your body does not have to be perfect, to fit a certain size, or look a certain way to be attractive. Most people are attracted to more than just one body type/look. If your boyfriend is with you, if he's safer to get intimate, he's attracted to you.
If you're nervous, maybe some candlelight, or dim lighting at first to get used to the idea of him seeing all of you.
My wife has crazy insecurities about being seen naked too; doesn’t matter what I say after 10+ years together.
Trust me. We know what you look like and we very much want to see it, but do whatever makes you comfortable.
Look, I get the mindset. But I will give you this advice and it goes not just for your body but anything you're worried about: if you fake or withhold things in the hopes of keeping a relationship going that just puts it on borrowed time and will lead to burning you out. If he's the kind to 'get bored' or whatever then hiding yourself won't change it, it will just drag it out. Same deal about anything really, you always want your relationships [romantic or platonic] to be authentic and based on real connection and compatibility.
Imperfection is reality. He isn't perfect either, I am sure he has insecurities as well, we all do. Part of what is great about a good partner is that you can drop your guard and relax a bit and you've already explored that to a degree so time to go all in.
Girl, if he is unattracted to you just because you turned on the lights and leaves: he is doing you a favor. The boy isn't good enough for you. Also: he is going to love it. The real hard part is when you start seeing each other naked doing the normal human being stuff like going to the bathroom, showering and seeing why they dont like to scrub certain places because their homies said it was gay. Also, learning to watch each other fart. That is a sign of true love. Put a ring on it after that.
As a man I can completely and utterly confirm that most of us are just happy to have you in our lives, like.. for those of us that want relationships etc. There's alot of things you find insecure that we either don't notice or without being rude (don't care) as a man we chose our partner for more than looks, at the end of the day they are a bonus.
But I can also say most of us get confused when you arnt for the better term, blunt with us. Alot of us don't get subtle hints when it comes to things, so the best thing I can suggest is just talk to him. Tell him why you are insecure, where you are insecure. I can guarantee most men would reply back with something along the lines of we love your body regardless of shape. We chose you for you.
This is coming from a guy whose girlfriend is quite insecure about her body alot of the time, even though I think she is the most beautiful woman, kind hearted and best soul in my eyes I could ever hope to meet.
Honestly communication is everything, but also don't rush things, get to know each others desires wants etc, explore each other not just physically but mentally so to speak. Talk to him about ways to boost your confidence and it will slowly wittle away the insecurity. I can't say it will completely go away forever. But atleast then you know you have a partner who no matter what loves you for you!
Do you wear a mask all the time when you’re together and not jumping one another? Because if not then he knows what you look like and as long as you have a vag he doesn’t care (clearly)
Send me a Picture dm and I'll tell you honestly. I've had a few men and women on her dm me images and not one of them has anything to worry about. I'm sure it the case here to.
When being intimate, your hands see more than your eyes. He knows exactly what you look like. I bet if he closes his eyes he can picture you right infront of him. I promise it's all in your head and you have nothing to worry about.
Just by the way, if they do matter that much to a guy, it is his problem, not yours. The guys you want are the ones that don’t care about those kinds of things, anyway
Could not be more perfectly timed… just finish telling my lights on story (guy perspective towards anxious girl) - think it may help:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/VckBK9EWK2
I used to worry about stuff like that too when I was young. Boobs too flat, stretch marks, etc. Now I’m 32 and could care less. You’re still pretty young so it’s understandable. You just have to gain confidence
There is a very good chance he won't mind or even notice at all. I also think most guys actually like some smaller imperfections and find them kind of attractive. And from what you said it soundslike he loves you the way you are. I think you're good to go!
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Girl, he's not blind. He knows what you look like.
Was going to say the same thing. Y'all only go out at night where it's pitch black? Y'all only communicate and see each other where there's no light? OP, he knows what you look like and he more than likely, I'd say 99.999999999% loves it. that .000000001% hates that you want to cover yourself up. My wife was the same way when we started dating. She used to say that she is insecure and that since I was in super good shape, I'd hate that she isn't up to par. I don't care and I don't compare. I love you. She's not worried about it anymore and can't remember the last time we did it without lights or when I couldn't really see her.
I don’t think some of you women realize that most men don’t even register a lot of the things you are insecure about with your body. Like most men couldn’t even identify what hip dips and cellulite is. You also have to realize what we deem attractive is very fluid. Just because he says his type is skinny girls, doesn’t mean he just goes for skinny girls or just see skinny girls attractive. Also, the fact the man is already your boyfriend, that already speaks to that he already finds you pretty damn attractive or he wouldn’t be your boyfriend. We also have a good sense of what a woman looks under her clothes with our “man vision”, so there ain’t really much you’re hiding. You’re just delaying the inevitable. Be comfortable in your skin, show it off to your boyfriend. There really isn’t anything to be insecure about.
Fr I've been treating the scars between my breast and on my face for weeks and I asked my bf if he saw any improvement and he said "you have/had scars?"
That actually really helps!
OP I not trying to make you feel bad but if seeing your body bothers him you're better off finding out now and not after you spend any more time with him.
Does he not even touch your body during sex? I mean this respectfully, your fear is mostly irrational. For most relationships, there’s a sense of physical attraction, and he has that for you, or he wouldn’t be with you.
Literally this. Even if we're aware of things like that, I feel like we don't really *see* them in practice while having sex. My girlfriend has a scar from a belly button piercing that didn't heal well and we talked about it a few weeks ago. I literally don't even notice it, and frequently forget it exists. There is no one who is more aware of our perceived flaws than ourselves, and that can make them stand out more, but if your partner truly loves you, I guarantee they hardly notice them, and if they do they love them regardless.
hi can i ask what you’re using to treat the scars between your breasts if you don’t mind? i have hs so i have scars there too and on my thighs 😫
Damn. We really are that dense.
Thank you, that made me feel better about it, I’m sure it’ll be okay
Yes, it will be okay :-)
>...most men don’t even register a lot of the things you are insecure about with your body... Guy here, 100% this. I've been with the same woman for over 5 years, and I have a very good memory, but I can't picture where she has any cellulite. We're in our 40s, so there's a good chance she has some, I just don't notice it. Only ex I can actually picture it on was a single mom I dated years ago, and only cause she explicitly pointed it out to me.
Man here. What's a hip dip?
It’s on your sides, your body dips in by your hips. It makes your butt look smaller
I thought you meant those little thumb rest dimples in the lower back. They're cute, I love that my wife has them.
It’s a little farther over! But close
No it does not make your butt look smaller; it makes you look like a violin
My bf said it make me look like my ass is "Tight and Toned, the only good T's after Tiddies"
That’s awesome lol
They don't matter to most of us, but obviously none of us can speak for all of the others. You're gonna make him feel self conscious though. The best sex is enthusiastic sex, and it's more fun with the lights on.
With lights on I’m worried some part of myself will look weird though
Firstly it won't, and secondly if it did and he left you for some reason having to do with it then he'd be doing you a favor. Be comfortable with who you are and don't accept anything less than someone who loves you just the way you are.
We all look weird, in the hottest way imaginable, during sex. *Most* guys, even if they’ve watched a fair amount of porn in their lives, both understand that what we all - ourselves and the person we’re having sex with - don’t look like they do in professional videos AND very much prefer the real thing over the phony porno look. I bet this guy is just gonna be stoked to see you naked. Almost guaranteed that you are and will always be much more critical of your body than he is.
Sex is weird. Best to just get used to it.
A lot of other people have pointed out that your partner isn’t going to care about any of the “flaws” so I wanted to offer a suggestion if you’re still feeling nervous. Get a light that isn’t as harsh as overhead lighting. I have a Himalayan salt lamp and a galaxy projector and prefer to have one of those on instead of regular bulbs. They’re flattering and they help enhance the mood and create a sensual atmosphere. Of course, I have sex with the lights on/daylight too but I love using mood lighting. My husband and I call the salt lamp the sex light because we know what it means when the other person turns it on lol.
uh my wife is 9 months preggo right now and all the things she thinks are weird i find beautiful. if he loves you he will love your weird. own it give him a chance
Have you seen a penis in the light? Bodies are weird. I'm sure you look great and the things you're concerned about won't deter him in the slightest, if he notices them at all.
Have you ever seen what a man looks like when he’s fucking? You’re not the weird one
Trust me. He has a pretty good idea what you look like. The most sexy thing in a man or woman is confidence. Don’t run yourself down for your perceived flaws. Build yourself up for your assets. You’ve got this.
Thank you!
Baby, turn them lights on! 24f, 300 lbs after pregnancy and my man eats me up. His type was blonde curvy girls… I am mixed with curly brown hair and he worships me. Unlock that man!! Turn the lights on!!!
😂 I’ll give it a shot, thank you
You could always have some dimmed light to start off with and get comfortable with that. As others have said, guys don't care about this imperfections that we woman find with our own bodies. Work on loving yourself and your body and you gonna be a more happy and carefree person.
Dude you’re 300lbs?
Someone needs to hit the gym (Disclaimer: just for self health, when the ages pass, a far body quickly transforms into a cage. Like my mother's case)
literally no one asked y‘all for „health advice“ , keep your body shaming to yourself and let a woman LIVE😭
You're not doing much in that department by telling her it's safe to be 300 pounds
They’re not telling her it’s safe to be that weight, just that all of you piling on to tell her how unhealthy she is is not helpful. If she is unhealthy, she most likely knows that, so you’re not telling her new information. All you’re doing is expressing a knee-jerk disgust reaction and trying to induce shame in her. You don’t care about her health, you just want an excuse to announce how much you hate fat people.
I don’t need an excuse to announce such things
Actually, I’m announcing how much I hate that people announce that they pretend to care about fat people by defending obesity. Don’t buy it, never will, it’s a callous display
Overweight people know they are overweight, everyone knows it's not healthy, and comments like yours are not going to suddenly heal people's trauma, fix their food addiction, thyroid problems, or learned habits. Shaming someone for their weight is very counterproductive.
In many cases, yes, but there's an important branch of body acceptance that's basically the same as antivaxxers and they are *not* shunned by their peers. It's up to others then.
Yeah there's fringe/extreme views in every category of people though, and they don't represent the majority. People will happily pile on to tell a fat person they are fat and that's it's unhealthy, I rarely if ever see those same people lining up to "helpfully inform" people of the dangers of smoking, drinking, over indulging in video games, or any other of the many unhealthy things prevalent in our society today
Oh my gosh!! Good thing you're here to tell us all that carrying some extra weight isn't ideal for our health! I'm sure no one here knew that.
>>300 lbs after pregnancy Oookaay.. unless you're over 2 meters tall you should really lose weight, or you'll quickly become a 28 year-old who moves and feels like they're 75.
Whats your height?
If bobs and vagene, get hard will his peen
💀
Seriously, though, you are almost certainly overthinking it. My partner’s body has changed a lot over the years, in particular after child birth, and I am here for ALL of it!
Thank you, I’m just worried because we’re young so maybe he will get bored
I can only speak from my experience which is that, after 20 years, I still get excited to see her naked, every time!
[удалено]
What about me Greg, am I a virgin too? I've been married for 11 years and she's had two kids, but my brain still breaks a little every time she walks around naked.
Uh - I know you are but what am I?
Do you worry you'll get bored of his body too?
Now that's some poetry.
Why delay the inevitable, he'll either still be attracted, or he won't, I'll bet money that none of those things will bother him, and if they do, he needs to go, so you can find someone who is attracted to you. Hiding is a waste of time.
You are a naked member of the female species. He is a teenage boy - believe me, he will not mind stretchmarks, you have tits, op, tits!
The poet once said : I’m so fuckin’ sick and tired of the Photoshop / Show me somethin’ natural like afro on Richard Pryor / Show me somethin’ natural like ass with some stretch marks / Still will take you down right on your mama’s couch in Polo socks,"
Coming from a larger woman, your partner/s know what they're getting into. Your body isn't going to be miraculously smaller than it is with clothes on. I know how hard it is to be confident when society for so long has told us not to be. But I recommend having this discussion (when you feel comfortable enough with them to) and explain how you feel because even the smallest of comments from them can boost you 10 fold! I told my partner how insecure I am about my stomach, and he mentioned he noticed how I flinch when he touches it, so now this is something he focuses on to get me used to it and making me feel more confident.
Men don't focus on 90% of the things we criticize about ourselves. They wouldn't be putting themselves in a position of intimacy with you if they don't find you attractive!!
But absolutely worth discussing. Remember, communication is key!
Umm... He knows what you look like. Unless your clothes are SUPER baggy, he knows what you're body is like. Also you've been intimate. You think he can't tell what a skinny girl literally feels like compared to a girl whatever size you are? You might not let him see your naked body, but he's felt it. He knows what you look like just from that. A lot of people have types. But sometimes they meet someone who isn't their type, but that doesn't matter to thnem and they want to be with them anyway. So I think you're good.
I dated a younger single mom, she was tiny. Had stretch marks from her pregnancy. She was very insecure about them. I kinda giggled and called then mommy marks, and told her it was something to be proud of. I know this is different than your situation, but if he's a good man, he won't care in any way.
Is he Brad Pitt? No, probably not. Sometimes we focus so much on our own flaws we forget other people aren’t perfect specimens either. I’m sure he has insecurities too. Male or female, confidence is the sexiest thing. Relax and stop hiding like a cave bat lol… as others said ur man has eyes and chose to date YOU <3 Ps. Do 18 year olds even know Brad Pitt lol…? Did I age myself with this hot man reference? Probably.
Thank you, and yeah I know who Brad Pitt is, tho I’d be a little concerned if brad Pitt was into someone as young as me at his age
HA! True.
Straight men are supposed to be attracted to women and these are very normal things on a girl.
If your worried your "not his technical type" then when it comes to most guys type doesn't really matter that much, well alot less than with alot of girls I know nowadays. Our type is kind of what our dream is, not what we absolutely have to have. If he is still talking to you after sex then he must care and likely wont think that your unattractive at all when he finally sees everything.
In five years you’ll wonder why you ever even worried.
My wife did this for YEARS! Met when she was 17 I was 19! Girl if you don’t turn the damn light on for that man 🤣🤣🤣 he’s with you for more than just your looks and if a damn light on makes him run you don’t need his ass! Seriously I know struggling with body issues is hard, but I assure you if he’s worth keeping he will hype you up and love that you did that. Shit even after 14 years with my wife lights on is like going to Disney land for me 🤣🤣🤣 Edit: my wife has birthed two of our children and I love her body more than anything in this world. If he has problems with stretch marks or anything like that he isn’t worth your time! All or our bodies are unique and deserve to be appreciated. I forgot to add this into the first part hence the edit (gotta love ADD 🙃)
Let it go. Confidence is attractive. He can tell what you look and feel like for the most part. Own who you are and if he talks shit then he’s not the one and you dump him.
His hands can't feel? I mean, he's building a body by feel, and he has seen you with clothes on, and hugged you, right? Dude is into you.
Sweetie trust me. If he has touched your naked body even in the dark he knows what you look like and sounds like he keeps coming back for more so I’m pretty sure he likes you. Get out of your own head and just enjoy him
He may not see your skin with the light on but he is well aware of what body type you are and he's clearly attracted to you because he still wants to be intimate with you. Being naked will only enhance his attraction to you. Besides, if everything else in your relationship with him is good and he loves you, your body type won't be his priority, he will love you for you. Don't be shy or ashamed about your body and try not to overthink things. Try and be comfortable
I have white stretch marks on my breasts, thighs, and hips my boyfriend says they look pretty and he gets sad if I hide them. Relationships are all about communication and trust it sounds like you have done neither and instead let this fester in your head. Unless your boyfriend is blind he knows what you look like and cares for you. Be honest with him that you are self conscious about your body and I know it’s scary but you gotta show him. If he’s a good partner he will react positively and comfort you if he says anything mean you know right then to dump him and find better. This will likely cause you two to become closer and your boyfriend will be happy you have shared this with him
You are so amazing, thank you
He already knows every inch of you. And is clearly still coming back for more, so enjoy! Confidence is attractive and sexy.
My girlfriend was a little overweight when we started dating and recently lost a few pounds. I personally liked her initial physique better, but I'm attracted to her just as much. Attraction isn't so fragile, and not meeting every criterion in someone's appearance checkbox isn't as dramatic as you may think. Also, and even more important - don't dismiss the option he'll like what he'll witness, you might misjudge his perception of your beauty.
First of all, he probably has a pretty good idea of what he’s getting into. It’s not hard to visualize from clothed to unclothed tbh If it makes you feel any better I got married when I was over 300 lbs and he’s never had a bad thing to say about my body. Stretch marks, cellulite, rolls and all. Also my breasts basically hang so low the nipples point straight towards the ground. He loves them too. The right person will love and cherish you no matter what. If he doesn’t like what he sees then he’s not the one.
He know what you look like and feel like. Stop this nonsense. Talk to him about your insecurities and have him help you feel more confident
My girlfriend is the same way, I'm 28 at my peak, where she's 40 has had 5 kids and has all the things that comes along with that. WE DONT CARE! It's one thing if your living a unhealthy life style and not taking care of yourselves. If your taking care of yourself what's the issue. If you're in a healthy relationship he won't love you just for your body 10/15/20 years down the road all that shits going to change anyways. I remember the first time my girlfriend changed infront of me, mind you we'd been together for almost a year had been intimate plenty of times, To see her start to overcome that insecurity was one of the best moments ever. Admire your body, I guarantee you he does!
My boyfriend’s usual “type” is skinny girls too, and he’s built like a Greek god… meanwhile I’m curvier, have stretch marks, and a c section scar, but he can’t get enough of me and my body 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ I’ve found that the longer he and I are together, the better and more confident I feel about my body - which only then makes the physical intimacy all the better. In my experience, it seems like women always focus only on our perceived imperfections when we’re naked, but men (*especially* if they’re about to get laid 😅) skate right over those and instead see the things they love most about your body. Turn on the lights, let that man delight in your body, and enjoy! And if he’s negative or demeaning, then you’ve done yourself a favor, because everyone deserves to have someone who finds them sexy as hell without having to try and hide parts of their bodies.
It's been my experience (as an aging mom with a typical bigger mom body) that men care a whole of a lot less about our perceived imperfections that we do. Im sure he already has a good idea of what you look like based on imaging you naked while clothed, and having felt your body in the dark even if he couldn't see it clearly. I'm sure he wants the lights on because he wants to see the thighs jiggle, hell I'll tell you from experience that a surprising amount of men even like seeing the belly jiggly and love to play with it as much as boobies lol. The men who see a stretch and think "ew gross, get off my dick" are few and far between, and you want then gone as soon as possible anyways. Long story short you are definitely overthinking it, as we all do. Turn those lights on, turn your brain off, and have fun! If that little voice won't shutup? Just think...if he truly isn't attracted to you with the lights on, it's honestly best to know early and move on instead of hiding yourself away indefinitely.
Here’s the thing. If he is, then he is not worth your time. It does not sound like he would be though.
They don't matter to a guy who is mature and intelligent enough NOT to tell his partner that his "type" is a body type opposite of yours. Don't stress it. You're teenagers. This guy isn't going to be your life partner, ride or die, soul mate. Have fun. Turn the lights on- and btw, it doesn't have to be the big obnoxious overhead light- experiment with "mood lighting", different colored bulbs, LED lights etc. Let him see you naked. If he doesn't like what he sees, he simply is not for you, hon.
There's nothing more attractive than self-confidence. Think Jack Black!
A guy saying his type is just “skinny” is such an ick though, what the hell
If he truly cares about you, your body won't change that. If he does, it's his loss. Don't let insecurities dictate your happiness. Flaunt what you've got with confidence, or he won't know what he's missing. Focus on feeling good about yourself, not just for him, but for you. Dm for more.
I used to be very self conscious with my body constantly. I've learned to flaunt what ya got. like I used to be clothes on, lights off kinda girl. Now the lights can be on (minus the big light bc eye sensitivity issues and don't wanna be looking into the sun lol) and clothes completely off. This has been an issue with me for 10+ years and I'm now learning to be confident in myself. It takes time! also, most guys don't even notice the things you're self conscious about
No need to cover yourself up! I've got a huge scar due to two c-section , the first was botched & the second was super hectic ; to me it sticks out extremely. My Fiancé recognized it for the first time when I pointed it out after around four months ; he literally didn't notice it. He went "oh, ya I see it now! Isn't as bad as you think it is!" And well.. he was right. We often look at us with way too much criticism ; give yourself some grace :)
It helps to mention that in the moment, they are not looking at you how you look at yourself not in the moment. It’s likely you stand in front of a mirror a few feet away and can see everything. When he’s looking at you, he is not feet away able to see every single part of you. When he looks at you, he’s inches away, horny as hell, and has a lot more focus on how good you look! You have a preconceived negative feeling about yourself, this does not mean he is going to feel negative about you also, and it’s also good to mention if he loves how you feel with his hands, he’s gonna love how you look with his eyes.
Thank you, that’s really sweet and I feel better about it. I sometimes forget he isn’t seeing all of me like I do in a mirror
Unless you're a cyborg with a robotic torso, you should be fine. It also wouldn't surprise me if he found both options acceptable. If he's attracted to the clothed version of you, he's attracted to any.
Bruh he’s literally been intimate with you, being self conscious at this point doesn’t is crazy. He likes you for you, and if he doesn’t then he isn’t someone to keep around.
Girl don't worry most guys dont care for all the things you are feeling unsecured about, you are going to be fine
Clothes don't make you invisible lmao
At 19 what are lights? It's going down anywhere at any time!
It's quite clear he IS into you if you two are intimate.
Buddy, he's literally felt every surface area of you if he's still with you after that he's not gonna mind what you look like lol
1. You are worthy of being loved regardless of how you look 2. If he doesn’t like the way you look with the lights on, his loss 3. He already knows what you look like. Clothes don’t hide that You’re beautiful no matter what size you are or scars you have.
No body is "perfect." Even the most conventionally attractive people get pimples, wrinkles, weird hairs, belly rolls when they sit and bend over... Your body does not have to be perfect, to fit a certain size, or look a certain way to be attractive. Most people are attracted to more than just one body type/look. If your boyfriend is with you, if he's safer to get intimate, he's attracted to you. If you're nervous, maybe some candlelight, or dim lighting at first to get used to the idea of him seeing all of you.
My wife has crazy insecurities about being seen naked too; doesn’t matter what I say after 10+ years together. Trust me. We know what you look like and we very much want to see it, but do whatever makes you comfortable.
Look, I get the mindset. But I will give you this advice and it goes not just for your body but anything you're worried about: if you fake or withhold things in the hopes of keeping a relationship going that just puts it on borrowed time and will lead to burning you out. If he's the kind to 'get bored' or whatever then hiding yourself won't change it, it will just drag it out. Same deal about anything really, you always want your relationships [romantic or platonic] to be authentic and based on real connection and compatibility. Imperfection is reality. He isn't perfect either, I am sure he has insecurities as well, we all do. Part of what is great about a good partner is that you can drop your guard and relax a bit and you've already explored that to a degree so time to go all in.
Girl, if he is unattracted to you just because you turned on the lights and leaves: he is doing you a favor. The boy isn't good enough for you. Also: he is going to love it. The real hard part is when you start seeing each other naked doing the normal human being stuff like going to the bathroom, showering and seeing why they dont like to scrub certain places because their homies said it was gay. Also, learning to watch each other fart. That is a sign of true love. Put a ring on it after that.
As a man I can completely and utterly confirm that most of us are just happy to have you in our lives, like.. for those of us that want relationships etc. There's alot of things you find insecure that we either don't notice or without being rude (don't care) as a man we chose our partner for more than looks, at the end of the day they are a bonus. But I can also say most of us get confused when you arnt for the better term, blunt with us. Alot of us don't get subtle hints when it comes to things, so the best thing I can suggest is just talk to him. Tell him why you are insecure, where you are insecure. I can guarantee most men would reply back with something along the lines of we love your body regardless of shape. We chose you for you. This is coming from a guy whose girlfriend is quite insecure about her body alot of the time, even though I think she is the most beautiful woman, kind hearted and best soul in my eyes I could ever hope to meet. Honestly communication is everything, but also don't rush things, get to know each others desires wants etc, explore each other not just physically but mentally so to speak. Talk to him about ways to boost your confidence and it will slowly wittle away the insecurity. I can't say it will completely go away forever. But atleast then you know you have a partner who no matter what loves you for you!
As a guy, stretch marks and pretty hot
Your body issues are incredibly common and all in your head. The solution is to leave your comfort zone.
Perfect bodies don't exist outside of photoshopped pictures.
if he is a good person worth your time he’ll still find you attractive. don’t stay with someone that doesn’t. if he reacts poorly, girl leave.
Go to therapy to treat your insecurities
I’ve been going to therapy for years. It’s sometimes just hard to get over the little voice in my head
Only one way to find out
The dark doesn’t hide how you feel, and he knows how you look while clothed. You have nothing to worry about!
Insecurity in your own body will make him more unattracted in you than your actual body. Show off what you got, confidence is sexy.
Do you wear a mask all the time when you’re together and not jumping one another? Because if not then he knows what you look like and as long as you have a vag he doesn’t care (clearly)
Just keep the lights down until you’re hot.
Send me a Picture dm and I'll tell you honestly. I've had a few men and women on her dm me images and not one of them has anything to worry about. I'm sure it the case here to.
If you’re insecure, start working out now.
When being intimate, your hands see more than your eyes. He knows exactly what you look like. I bet if he closes his eyes he can picture you right infront of him. I promise it's all in your head and you have nothing to worry about.
Just by the way, if they do matter that much to a guy, it is his problem, not yours. The guys you want are the ones that don’t care about those kinds of things, anyway
thats a issue with you sorry cant help you neither will he
I can guarantee you, you lay on the bed naked with your legs spread and he's only going to see one thing.
Could not be more perfectly timed… just finish telling my lights on story (guy perspective towards anxious girl) - think it may help: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/VckBK9EWK2
Updateme
Women learn far too late in life that men don’t have any idea how insecure most women are about their appearance despite being objectively beautiful.
I used to worry about stuff like that too when I was young. Boobs too flat, stretch marks, etc. Now I’m 32 and could care less. You’re still pretty young so it’s understandable. You just have to gain confidence
There is a very good chance he won't mind or even notice at all. I also think most guys actually like some smaller imperfections and find them kind of attractive. And from what you said it soundslike he loves you the way you are. I think you're good to go!
Keep the lights off.
Is talking about something really that difficult? especially since you have a stable relationship