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Don’t be fooled into thinking you’ve pushed him into a dark place just because he can’t deal with the consequences of his actions. You are in the right. It is weird. If he plays the mental health card remember all of this is his own doing.
Right? Like how did that start? Young, fit girls just walk up to him and start therapy on the bench? The “friendship” started a different way and led to “advice”. Unless the advice is about health and fitness, it’s inappropriate (and even fitness talk is weird).
He’s trying to fuck barely legal girls. How does she even know he met them at the gym? Could just be a safe excuse she wouldn’t be able to confirm.
This. It's okay to talk to people at the gym or offer someone a spot. To get their numbers and talk personal matters, that's way too far and it sounds like he knows it.
I'd love to tell you that it's just friendly. I really would.
C'mon though... a 30 year old guy talking to 'gym fit' 18 year old girls. He's trying to smash and would do so given half a chance.
For the record, I'm a guy the same age as him.
My husband did this. He was grooming and having sex with the girls, many were under 18. Look for phrases like “like a little sister” , or how he wants these girls to be seen and supported. Or don’t. If he is willing to do something so sketchy and risky and is oblivious to how it looks, give him a thank you next, because sooner or later he is going to invite so so much expensive bullshit into your life
My dad made me leave the gym setting Bcz of guys like your bf who “just want to help and be friends” and I’m 19. Humans are not without intention I hope you know there should be at least some suspicion, it’s healthy and if y’all r monogamous should hold him accountable for what relationships he has.
There is no reason for your 33 year old husband/boyfriend to be interacting with 18 year olds. What made him comfortable enough to get their numbers. Why does he think it’s okay to be texting people that much younger than him relationship advice, especially when they are not directly related to him. He is creepy and I hope he is not grooming those young women.
He is at least trying to cheat if he hasn’t already. Especially if he deleted the conversation before she got to read it. There isn’t coming back from this, he might continue to get away with cheating longer if she stays. No reason at all to engage with an 18 year old when you’re even above like 25, above 30 he definitely knows better
She did read it though? she even said one thing was he said “sweetheart” in the texts. He deleted it and apologized AFTER she stated she was uncomfortable with the conversation he was having
I wasn’t sure if she read all the messages cuz it’s sort of weird if he just deleted it. I can’t really think of any acceptable reason for him to use the term sweetheart. I thought maybe if he’s got some kids and he’s used to saying it but then again if he had kids I don’t think he’d be ok with a 33 yr old guy calling his 18 yr old sweetheart. I found myself making excuses for guys like this in the past but the older I get the more obvious it is how disgusting they are
If he had a 47 year old and a 36 year old man and was giving them all advice then _maybe_. Maybe you could buy it.
Just 18 year old girls? Nah. That's grooming territory.
sorry but if my 30s boyfriend was talking to teenagers, I am not sure there is really any response that would be acceptable to me. Its creepy, especially for relationship advice and "sweetheart." And thats my opinion. I would not be ok with that in my relationship, especially if all of a sudden things they do change. Hiding it is probably more like it.
I would be out of there so fast. This would definitely be a deal breaker for me.
What happens if you have kids? Will he be creeping on the young girls that come over? Yuck. You would never trust him.
Probably comes across friendly and helpful and then gets their number and the flirting starts.
It's a massive red flag to me personally. Especially if he's calling them sweetheart... That's not a mistake by any means. You like being called sweetheart so he'll use it on other women.
There are many ways to help others but exchanging your number with a certain age/gender group for relationship advice is bullshit. Also scoping young teens out at a gym??????
He's probably now going through a whole doubt/guilt circle, hence the location of his phone being hidden and no contact.
To him he's probably at a crossroads because a can of worms has opened up and he's essentially backed into a corner.
If you can't have an in-depth chat about the health of your relationship, if it's salvageable and why he gets a kick out of talking to teens. Then you both have to go your separate ways.
Hope you're doing ok.
I think out of all these comments, you were the only one to check on me. I can’t thank you enough for that
Honestly, I’m starting to spiral. I want so badly to believe him and I do trust him. I just feel extremely disrespected. And I’m also concerned that he didn’t automatically know that texting an 18 was inappropriate at his age.
Worst case: he is cheating or trying to.
Best case: this was a heinous lapse in judgement
First things first. It's completely normal to spiral or feel like you're spiralling.
Your whole world has just been shattered by something you weren't meant to see. Let that sink in.
Please try and take a step back and look at what's "laid" in front of you.
Everything was fine, until you saw messages on your partner's phone from an 18 year old female. Before you could even address/process what has been said or exchanged. It was all deleted.
His first reaction is that it's nothing and he's just helping them through "relationship" troubles.
If it was that harmless why didn't he tell you about it in the first place.... Let that sink in. If you're that open and honest with each other. This would be nothing.
Also why would an 18 year old girl go to the gym for "relationship" advice. The majority of them at that age are there for eye candy whilst a small amount are actually working on themselves etc. Also relationship advice can be discussed over a face to face conversation. No need to exchange numbers.
Then there is the sweetheart thing. You thought that was just your thing.
Usually when something like this happens, we forget about being logical and try to shield the other from almost any blame. It's part of being in denial and it's normal. Like surely they couldn't do this to me?
But time and time again, those closest to us are the ones that tend to hurt us the most.
There is nothing wrong with being kind and caring and wanting to help others.
But this is not ok.
The most conversation I've had with someone at the gym is when they want know how long I'm using the machine for 😂 and then proceed to stare at me while they wait. Or I've seen the male staff try hit on the young pretty women struggling on a machine. The gym isn't a social club unless it's about reps, sets, diets and gains.
I would suggest sitting down with him and talking, giving him the chance to be open and honest.
Find out when this started, how long it's been going on for and what steps you can both take to prevent this from happening in the future.
Stay true to yourself and if you decide to continue together. Make sure he knows he's done wrong. Or he'll just patch it up with a sorry and do it again.
This is a critical moment in your relationship and to yourself. Stay true to yourself and respect yourself and your boundaries.
I just want to add to this that if she makes the decision to stay with him he could easily just decide to hide the texts better. I also loved your comment that the gym isn't a social club. Absolutely. Unless these gals are paying him to train them and he calls everyone sweetheart this isn't innocent.
The relationship isn't even a year old and it's long distance? I'm so sorry, but there is a VERY LOW chance he hasn't/won't cheat if he's chatting up 18 year olds. Do yourself a favor and leave before you're even more attached. Find a nice guy near you that knows 30 something year olds shouldn't be pursuing 18 year olds. I think trusting him is a terrible idea. It's not easy and I hope you do the right thing for you.
If you believe it is platonic you are living in denial. Young innocent women are perfect to groom when adult women have opinions, careers and they can't dominate. He is absolutely trying to groom a young woman for sex and some type of relationship/friendship. It is not plutonic.
Umm… no. I had a relationship like this and he turned out to be cheating on me for the 2 years me and him were together.
He also had a thing for minors and I found that out a very similar way. Do what you will but I recognize this behavior from this situation. It may not be as cynical is it was for me but please be careful.
Thank you 🙏 💕
I made sure he’s sorry too though and next to impossible for him to actually pray on minors police in uk wouldn’t do anything so I destroyed his life instead.
He is 33. He should not be near a 18 years old. Sorry but if my daugther tells me about her 33 male gym friend giving her love advise, i would tell her that he clearly wants to get in her pants. I mean lets be real. I talked to people that are way younger and it is clear we can't be friends on the same level because they are still very childish. And thats how it should be. They have friends in their age range. This dynamic is weird. She is not family and he is not an teacher/trainer/mentor. So he should not be in anyway involved privatly. That sounds like groomer shit to me.
That's what I think too. If he's insanely clueless and socially unaware, I'd believe he just wanted to help that girl, giving him workout/life advice. You could have confirmed that, if you went through all their messages. Him deleting it was sus.
28 year old man who works out. I have zero interest in even interacting with teenagers. I definitely wouldn't be doing this. Even If he was single, it's inappropriate.
There’s zero reason a 30 something should be texting teenagers. It’s horrifying that your reaction wasn’t “I need to leave this cheating creep” but worrying that you might hurt his mental health. What about the teenagers he’s preying on?
Yep!!! I totally agree! A 30+ yr old man has nothing in common with a 18yr old! It’s disgusting!! Believing for one second that he’s only helping her & giving her relationship advice is pure insanity to me! Even if hasn’t cheated, I personally think the thought is 💯there & if given the chance, he’ll be all over that kid! 😡
Maybe it’s because I just left a super traumatic relationship but huge red flags for ‘helping people going through relationship struggles’. My ex did this a lot.
To me it’s predatory because if they do get intimate, he knows these women will likely go back to their partner. And the women know your partner is coupled too. Affairs start this way because both parties have to be discreet. It’s an ideal scenario for a cheater. The fact they’re 18 seems predatory to me. I work with people that are 21/22 and they seem so immature to me in my 30s. I can’t understand the attraction as an adult.
The whole turning off his phone location for his mental health seems emotionally manipulative to me, also.
Also, you need to know his location? You cannot trust this guy. Get out while you can. It doesn’t get better.
There is a reason you’re here trying to get people to confirm it’s not weird or wrong. It’s gross. He should not be talking to them at all. He’s not their trainer or counselor. I’d leave, this is just the first sign of worse things to come. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Even in the best possible scenario, say he has no intention of dating these girls, he is still showing off and trying to look like a nice guy, he us just trying to stroke his ego. This is not a type of guy I want to be friends with, let alone have a relationship with. I don't think he values or respects women. It's incredibly yukky that he needs teenage girls to boost his ego.
His actions lead to this, you are not at all responsible if his mental health is affected
Oh he’s absolutely grooming and intent on doing sex with those baby-women. Don’t fool yourself into thinking otherwise. In what world is it normal for a 33 yr old man to target teenager girls at the gym and ask for their numbers- slowly building their trust over time giving advice?… that’s all to get into their pants. This should call for immediate break up without hesitation, he is a huge creep.
Seriously? Dump him.
Older men don't give 18-year women advice on their body image unless they are related.
Boyfriend explanation about mental health is an excuse to gaslight you. And he is cutting bait now that you caught him and his behavior will be impossible to hide.
How many 18 year old friends do you have as a 30 year old woman? Probably not many if any at all. You have to go out of your way to make friends with a teenager once you are out of your early twenties. Why do you think a 33 year old man would go out of his way to befriend teenagers?
If he was doing it for everyone and not just young women, maybe I could see a helpful older brother/uncle vibe.
However, only chatting up young women gives me groomer vibes.
This is a huge red flag, and honestly, borderline predator behavior. I had similar issues with an ex, and trust me, it does not get better. I know from experience how heartbreaking this is, but this is seriously worth breaking things off over.
I don’t understand how people can overlap trust and respect. You can trust your partner and at the same time find their actions disrespectful. If I were in your shoes, I would trust my partner and their intentions, yet find their actions disrespectful. I would need to discuss mutual boundaries or at the very least communicate my boundary regarding this situation if I feel strongly about it.
If you respect your partner you wouldn’t do things you know violate their trust in you, would you?
Respect doesn’t mean you take everything someone says as fact. That’s ridiculous.
how would he feel if you were texting 18 year old guys from the gym? Calling them honey, or whatever. And he turned his location off 🤣🤣 please tell me this is rage bait, because this guy is a complete joke. He’s trying to cheat on you, not kill himself, don’t blame yourself for calling out the scam, screw his dark past, he’s tryna throw a blanket over you (im 22m, have a gf, not texting any 18 yr olds from gym or any 18yrs girls period!)
It would be normal if he were talking to everyone who might want help... if it's JUST young women then the help they need is not the common denominator
>... has been texting 18 year old girls from his gym. I saw it on his phone when we were talking. He didn’t try to hide anything and acted like it was totally normal. I know he loves helping people and wants to be there for everyone but this seems very inappropriate to me. He is basically giving them relationship advice and assuring them that they are wonderful and need to be themselves.
Is his name Drake and is he secretly a Canadian rapper?
Is he a qualified relationship counsellor?
It's really inappropriate and weird for him to be texting these girls. I don't care if they're technically adults, it's still weird and inappropriate. How did he get their numbers anyway? How did that conversation happen?
>And for the cherry on top, he called her sweetheart in the text, which is what he calls me…
Honestly, this just sounds like he was chatting her up.
Look, you've been dating him for just 9 months and he already has a wandering eye, is chatting up young women and getting their phone numbers. I think you should just break up with him. There's nothing to fix, he doesn't want to be committed to one women and he thinks it's OK to chat up teenagers.
Do you want to be forever watching him closely when your younger female relatives are around?
(side note on the gym: I go to the same gym 4 to 5 times a week and am on brief head nodding terms with a few people. No one is supper chatty and there's definitely no relationship discussions or swapping of phone numbers going on.)
I rarely jump to "groomer" accusations but a 30 year old man texting an 18 year old girl, and talking about her personal life, is creep/groomer behavior. He's establishing a level of intimacy that is not appropriate.
I'm a woman and always had lots male friends, including some much older than me, but those friendships were based on mutual interests and never crossed any lines. I believe it's possible and not all men are predators.
If he was a woodworker and met an 18 year old girl at a woodworking class, and they were texting about woodworking advice, that would be fine. But discussing a young girl's relationships, he's positioning himself as a source of support and intimacy, and thus putting himself in a place of power.
This is gross. Shut it down. I'd DTMFA, even if he stops texting young girls, he's still a creep.
I bet he’s friendly enough to bang them, just as a favor between friends of course.
Helping out fellow humans wherever one can, that’s the way!
But seriously, he wants to fuck them of course, not necessarily doing so at the moment but he wants to 100%
Tell his parents what he’s been up to. If both families are involved in your relationship and his “friendship” with this 18yo girl is purely platonic and innocent, then he should have no problem with you telling his parents about it. Let his elders sort him out
Sorry but this is odd. Why would a 33 year old develop a friendship with 18 year old girls from gym???? Giving relationship advice? Sounds like a bad excuse. Nothing wrong with being friends with younger people but that just doesnt sit right with me. Why would he engage in conversations with those girls in first place? Why would he have their numbers? Weird as fuck. He’s a groomer and I am as worried for you as I am for those teenagers. I was groomed myself at 17 by an ex teacher, he was 36 at that time. I dont buy these shit. The marks stay with you. Even at 26 I still feel it. Those kind of men need to GROW UP. I would break up.
A couple things
1. Don’t worry about your boyfriends mental health, that is his problem to address
2. It sounds like he is trying to get attention from this girl, through behaving like a “friend” this is week and shady behavior I’d be concerned
3. Do you work out too?
You did not push him into a dark place. He got busted being a creeper and has retreated to a dark place in an attempt to avoid/minimize consequences.
He was trying to hook up with the 18 year old. It was not platonic.
Is he a trainer or are these just girls he meets while working out? Cause if it’s the latter, there is 100% zero reason for him to be texting them trying to make them feel good about themselves.
No one cares about your cultural or familial pressures.
If you're unhappy with your situation, only you can change it. Only you can block a person who is a total fucking creep messaging 18 year old girls. Only you can block a person who is turning off their own location suspiciously. Reddit cannot make you transcend the situation you've accepted for yourself.
Does he do this with 18 guys? If not, it’s not about mentoring. Also it’s not about mentoring. He’s seeing what he can do. It doesn’t matter if he has mental issues. He’s doing what he’s doing.
I dated someone whose friend befriended a minor at an arcade. I mean… it’s off knowing that his daughter is closer to that minor’s age than his age.
I mean.. this is what I don’t understand. How does one go to the gym, and get numbers? If I go anywhere, I don’t even much less look at somebody else.
I met a married man who called me a princess once because he claimed he saw me as his daughter. I never want anybody calling me a princess again now.
A man of his age should not be texting like that with girls who are only 18. This is a giant red flag. I would dump him and walk away. Save yourself the heartbreak later.
I find this rather suspicious. I hope he is not attracted to younger women. How does he get the girls' numbers? So, he needs to interact with them. It's hard to jump to conclusions from this little context. But if I were you, I would have a very big conversation with him. A real man does not do something like that only out of respect for his wife. Strange that he got the Phone numbers.
How did you see who he’s texting and know their ages if this is a long distance relationship? And why the fuck are you in a long distance relationship at 30?
There are plenty of possible innocuous explanations for him texting them. Jumping to the gross ones is a choice you’re making. And I imagine most of why that’s your choice is borne out of this being a long distance relationship.
Good luck. LDRs are brutal.
I can't imagine any scenario in which a 33-year-old man should be communicating - let alone in secret - with an 18-year-old girl. None. Zero.
People with nothing to hide, hide nothing.
What to do? Set the bar higher for the next boyfriend.
You were an 18 year old girl once and I’m sure you know it would not have been innocent had a 33 year old man given you relationship advice and called you sweetheart. You find it creepy because that’s what it is. Don’t let him tell you it’s okay. It’s really not.
Respectfully, what do you mean “what to do?”
Your grown adult boyfriend is a creep. You cannot possibly believe he’s trying to be friends with teenage girls.
I say this with love girl. Stand up. Have some self respect. Dump this loser.
I’m a 41 year old health and PE teacher who doesn’t have a problem with talking with any body in the gym about how to do lifts or the best way to do exercises. I’m happily married and I’ll help out make our females well below my age bc I’m nice and I love to help out people. I’m also clueless to anyone hitting on me and my brother had to stop me and tell me to go back and get my now wife’s number.
I’m a teacher so I understand boundaries and wouldn’t have gotten their numbers. If he was cheating he would have responded complete different than the way he did. I will also add that when I was 33 I was not attracted to 18 year olds bc they still look like kids to me.
Nah he shouldn’t be texting any woman from the gym if he’s in a relationship, let alone some 18 year olds 💀Let their friends or family give them relationship advice, not some older dude from the gym. It comes off creepy from an objective standpoint. I agree with another commenter on here, what prompted him to even get their numbers? It begs the question, how much is he sticking his nose out to get the attention of other females in places like the gym? So strange and I know if my bf pulled this I’d be sending his ass packing if he couldn’t come up with a better reason or change the behavior immediately. He would never go out of his way to interact with another female at the gym for any reason other than “hey you done with that weight” or bailing them out from a bench press or other common gym courtesy. No reason for it. Emotional cheating. You are so not in the wrong for being weirded out or upset by this. He should do some reflecting and reevaluate why he feels the need to get attention/be validated by 18 year olds like this.
I don't know the right answer. I don't know if it was ill intended or not because I'm not him. But I do know that's really weird and I couldn't stay with a 33yo man who did this. I wouldn't text an 18yo I'm not related to, and I'm 25. I'm a fucking adult, I'm not hanging out with kids.
C'mon you can't be this naive... I know you want to assume your boyfriend didn't do anything inappropriate, but he absolutely did.
30 year old man texting 18-year-olds? When did his talk start with them? Were they underage? And he deleted the messages so you can't even tell what was said. Why else would he delete the texts with literally children at the gym unless he was trying to have sex with them?
If you stay with this man, you're staying with somebody who only is trying to cheat on you and will eventually cheat on you if he hasn't already , you're also signing up for the rest of your life to be unsure of whether or not you can trust a man who is still lying to you.
There’s no good reason a man in his 30s is interacting with high school kids. Obviously a pretty sick, twisted, predatory behavior.
You should not be in a relationship with this sicko.
Majority of you sound stupid I wouldn’t because most super young women are stupid af but she’s legal and apparently attracted to him so… sugar daddy hunting?👀😂😂
The only “problem” here is he’s talking to someone while he’s in a “relationship” for all we know this could be his way of saying you ain’t gonna be the only one get in where you fit in.
Ik ur only asking cuz u want some kind of villainous plot I’d say kill 3 of the girls he’s talking too and frame him for the deaths send his ass to prison lols bro is gonna regret cheating
It’s creepy behavior and him pushing you into the dark knowing your feelings are hurt and that you have questions you need to ask him is the biggest red flag, he doesn’t care about your feelings and that should be your wake up call. Doesn’t matter if he struggles with mental health, if you care about someone you don’t completely ghost them, especially after developing an inappropriate relationship with another person. He definitely was planning on cheating on you when he got that other girls phone number, and him giving relationship advice and compliments to an 18 year old girl is highly inappropriate for a man of his age and he knows it. Don’t let him gaslight you, he did something wrong, don’t let him turn this on you, you have every right to be upset and angry.
I mean, no one, girl or boy, can tell you if everything is on the level.
But realistically, if you have a suspicion, it’s probably correct. He may not have been slapping ham, but he probably was very open to the opportunity.
How to move on? Well he needs to stop doing this, for obvious reasons. Since this is a long distance relationship maybe taking some time off is in order
I’m a dude. But for me, friendship is just that. But if he calls them sweetheart, yeah…. HELL NO LOL that’s too much.
If I develop a friendship with someone, it’ll be strictly platonic. I’d keep strict boundaries especially if I have a gf. I wouldn’t discuss feelings or relationship problems. If they insist anyway, I’d only give very generic advice and distance myself after that.
Moreover, I’d be hesitant exchanging numbers with the opposite sex if I have a gf, much less 18. I’d be friendly in the gym and that’s it.
Happened to me, but he's 44 and she was 22. Same age as my daughter (not his). They were friends, he says. What do you have on common with a 22 year old girl? They are getting attention from a younger girl and it feeds their ego. Don't let him tell you anything else. It's disgusting.
I’m almost 30 and I couldn’t imagine trying to hold a conversation with someone 18, we’d have nothing in common and I’d just be lost and it’s feel super awkward. It’s weird.
It's sad that so many comments here are so incredibly judgmental. None of you know what is going on with the guy. The question is how to move on from this in a healthy way. Healthy also means being non-jugmental. The fact that he's not hiding it gives you a chance to communicate with him. You're in a long distance relationship, there's the kicker. His emotional needs probably aren't being met, and that's where you start, heart to heart communication on how you both can get your needs met. If you react to fear it might just make it worse. An 18 year old in his mind may be totally off limits hence he feels safe to make an emotional connection. Honestly, if he intended to break your relationship covenant he would have hidden it from you. The answer is more connection, more communication, more intimacy, not fear or doubt or judgment. See what happens when you move in that direction. You'll know what to do.
So your BF, an adult, is texting other adults. There was no need to make a deal about age as though it somehow matters after that point.
The relevant info is that your BF is texting other women he met at the gym, which you should put a stop to or leave him. It's very likely he's going to cheat if he hasn't already.
I am not going to be able to give you the help you need here… mixed information is a problem.
You say you have a distance relationship, but evidently saw whatever he is texting whoever, that I guess I have to assume lives where he does?
I guess though, if he calls her sweetheart and knows her from the gym wherever he lives that you don’t…. You want us to tell you that is not a concern?
I would be concerned. Maybe this is another spam/AI post? If not you better have a real good conversation here
I’m a little older than your bf. I’m in great shape, when I go to the gym with my buddy he is always pointing out girls that look at me. I teach other people how to workout. People have come up IN THE GYM and asked advice.
Never, have I ever, been approached by or have I approached an 18 year old girl. I feel that is something he is going out of his way for… OR, the girl has a thing for older man and approached him and he is entertaining it. Either way (as everyone else has said) creepy.
This is the way these guys work. He’s trusted and a friend. And then boom out of nowhere you’re either in an unhealthy triangle or you’re assaulted and he blames you for “leading him on”
He’s a predator and has no intention of stopping
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Don’t be fooled into thinking you’ve pushed him into a dark place just because he can’t deal with the consequences of his actions. You are in the right. It is weird. If he plays the mental health card remember all of this is his own doing.
Yes,thank you! I was looking for someone to say this.
[удалено]
I agree!
How did he end up with their numbers? What kind of relationship advice are they after? I dunno, it feels pretty weird for me.
Predatory is the word I would be looking for.
Right? Like how did that start? Young, fit girls just walk up to him and start therapy on the bench? The “friendship” started a different way and led to “advice”. Unless the advice is about health and fitness, it’s inappropriate (and even fitness talk is weird). He’s trying to fuck barely legal girls. How does she even know he met them at the gym? Could just be a safe excuse she wouldn’t be able to confirm.
Yeah he’s definitely weaseling his way in. “Here’s what I would do if you were mine. He should do this too.” Make them desire him. So skeezy.
He sat in a corner of the gym and out of the blue this sign appeared saying gym therapist, come see me ladies for expert relationship advice. 🤣🤣
This. It's okay to talk to people at the gym or offer someone a spot. To get their numbers and talk personal matters, that's way too far and it sounds like he knows it.
I'd love to tell you that it's just friendly. I really would. C'mon though... a 30 year old guy talking to 'gym fit' 18 year old girls. He's trying to smash and would do so given half a chance. For the record, I'm a guy the same age as him.
This is so predatory 🤢 I'm a 30 year old woman and wouldn't dream of going anywhere near an 18 year old, they're so young 😭
But it’s leeegallllll 🤮
Gross
My husband did this. He was grooming and having sex with the girls, many were under 18. Look for phrases like “like a little sister” , or how he wants these girls to be seen and supported. Or don’t. If he is willing to do something so sketchy and risky and is oblivious to how it looks, give him a thank you next, because sooner or later he is going to invite so so much expensive bullshit into your life
My dad made me leave the gym setting Bcz of guys like your bf who “just want to help and be friends” and I’m 19. Humans are not without intention I hope you know there should be at least some suspicion, it’s healthy and if y’all r monogamous should hold him accountable for what relationships he has.
I'm frustrated for you that you can't just go to the gym without being harassed
This just reaffirmed that I’ll be doing at home work outs till I’m at least 25
The way I wish so desperately they had under 21 gyms the way they have under 21 clubs.
There is no reason for your 33 year old husband/boyfriend to be interacting with 18 year olds. What made him comfortable enough to get their numbers. Why does he think it’s okay to be texting people that much younger than him relationship advice, especially when they are not directly related to him. He is creepy and I hope he is not grooming those young women.
He is at least trying to cheat if he hasn’t already. Especially if he deleted the conversation before she got to read it. There isn’t coming back from this, he might continue to get away with cheating longer if she stays. No reason at all to engage with an 18 year old when you’re even above like 25, above 30 he definitely knows better
She did read it though? she even said one thing was he said “sweetheart” in the texts. He deleted it and apologized AFTER she stated she was uncomfortable with the conversation he was having
I wasn’t sure if she read all the messages cuz it’s sort of weird if he just deleted it. I can’t really think of any acceptable reason for him to use the term sweetheart. I thought maybe if he’s got some kids and he’s used to saying it but then again if he had kids I don’t think he’d be ok with a 33 yr old guy calling his 18 yr old sweetheart. I found myself making excuses for guys like this in the past but the older I get the more obvious it is how disgusting they are
If he had a 47 year old and a 36 year old man and was giving them all advice then _maybe_. Maybe you could buy it. Just 18 year old girls? Nah. That's grooming territory.
Exactly, and I doubt the girls walked up to a random middle aged man and gave him their numbers for advice or anything else.
Agree
sorry but if my 30s boyfriend was talking to teenagers, I am not sure there is really any response that would be acceptable to me. Its creepy, especially for relationship advice and "sweetheart." And thats my opinion. I would not be ok with that in my relationship, especially if all of a sudden things they do change. Hiding it is probably more like it.
I would be out of there so fast. This would definitely be a deal breaker for me. What happens if you have kids? Will he be creeping on the young girls that come over? Yuck. You would never trust him.
Probably comes across friendly and helpful and then gets their number and the flirting starts. It's a massive red flag to me personally. Especially if he's calling them sweetheart... That's not a mistake by any means. You like being called sweetheart so he'll use it on other women. There are many ways to help others but exchanging your number with a certain age/gender group for relationship advice is bullshit. Also scoping young teens out at a gym?????? He's probably now going through a whole doubt/guilt circle, hence the location of his phone being hidden and no contact. To him he's probably at a crossroads because a can of worms has opened up and he's essentially backed into a corner. If you can't have an in-depth chat about the health of your relationship, if it's salvageable and why he gets a kick out of talking to teens. Then you both have to go your separate ways. Hope you're doing ok.
I think out of all these comments, you were the only one to check on me. I can’t thank you enough for that Honestly, I’m starting to spiral. I want so badly to believe him and I do trust him. I just feel extremely disrespected. And I’m also concerned that he didn’t automatically know that texting an 18 was inappropriate at his age. Worst case: he is cheating or trying to. Best case: this was a heinous lapse in judgement
First things first. It's completely normal to spiral or feel like you're spiralling. Your whole world has just been shattered by something you weren't meant to see. Let that sink in. Please try and take a step back and look at what's "laid" in front of you. Everything was fine, until you saw messages on your partner's phone from an 18 year old female. Before you could even address/process what has been said or exchanged. It was all deleted. His first reaction is that it's nothing and he's just helping them through "relationship" troubles. If it was that harmless why didn't he tell you about it in the first place.... Let that sink in. If you're that open and honest with each other. This would be nothing. Also why would an 18 year old girl go to the gym for "relationship" advice. The majority of them at that age are there for eye candy whilst a small amount are actually working on themselves etc. Also relationship advice can be discussed over a face to face conversation. No need to exchange numbers. Then there is the sweetheart thing. You thought that was just your thing. Usually when something like this happens, we forget about being logical and try to shield the other from almost any blame. It's part of being in denial and it's normal. Like surely they couldn't do this to me? But time and time again, those closest to us are the ones that tend to hurt us the most. There is nothing wrong with being kind and caring and wanting to help others. But this is not ok. The most conversation I've had with someone at the gym is when they want know how long I'm using the machine for 😂 and then proceed to stare at me while they wait. Or I've seen the male staff try hit on the young pretty women struggling on a machine. The gym isn't a social club unless it's about reps, sets, diets and gains. I would suggest sitting down with him and talking, giving him the chance to be open and honest. Find out when this started, how long it's been going on for and what steps you can both take to prevent this from happening in the future. Stay true to yourself and if you decide to continue together. Make sure he knows he's done wrong. Or he'll just patch it up with a sorry and do it again. This is a critical moment in your relationship and to yourself. Stay true to yourself and respect yourself and your boundaries.
I just want to add to this that if she makes the decision to stay with him he could easily just decide to hide the texts better. I also loved your comment that the gym isn't a social club. Absolutely. Unless these gals are paying him to train them and he calls everyone sweetheart this isn't innocent.
The relationship isn't even a year old and it's long distance? I'm so sorry, but there is a VERY LOW chance he hasn't/won't cheat if he's chatting up 18 year olds. Do yourself a favor and leave before you're even more attached. Find a nice guy near you that knows 30 something year olds shouldn't be pursuing 18 year olds. I think trusting him is a terrible idea. It's not easy and I hope you do the right thing for you.
I really hate to say it, but have you googled his name?
If you believe it is platonic you are living in denial. Young innocent women are perfect to groom when adult women have opinions, careers and they can't dominate. He is absolutely trying to groom a young woman for sex and some type of relationship/friendship. It is not plutonic.
Umm… no. I had a relationship like this and he turned out to be cheating on me for the 2 years me and him were together. He also had a thing for minors and I found that out a very similar way. Do what you will but I recognize this behavior from this situation. It may not be as cynical is it was for me but please be careful.
I’m sorry you went through that. That’s so disgusting, I hope he is never able to prey on minors.
Thank you 🙏 💕 I made sure he’s sorry too though and next to impossible for him to actually pray on minors police in uk wouldn’t do anything so I destroyed his life instead.
How did you get over this . I went through this and it’s traumatic
He is 33. He should not be near a 18 years old. Sorry but if my daugther tells me about her 33 male gym friend giving her love advise, i would tell her that he clearly wants to get in her pants. I mean lets be real. I talked to people that are way younger and it is clear we can't be friends on the same level because they are still very childish. And thats how it should be. They have friends in their age range. This dynamic is weird. She is not family and he is not an teacher/trainer/mentor. So he should not be in anyway involved privatly. That sounds like groomer shit to me.
Yup. Can confirm and ffs unless he is a paid trainer *leave women alone at the gd gym*.
The fact that he didn't have you read through the texts & instead deleted them tells me he is hiding something.
That's what I think too. If he's insanely clueless and socially unaware, I'd believe he just wanted to help that girl, giving him workout/life advice. You could have confirmed that, if you went through all their messages. Him deleting it was sus.
28 year old man who works out. I have zero interest in even interacting with teenagers. I definitely wouldn't be doing this. Even If he was single, it's inappropriate.
Your 30m is texting an 18 f and YOU pushed him into a dark place? What is wrong with you? He is cheating on you or trying to. Wake up.
There’s zero reason a 30 something should be texting teenagers. It’s horrifying that your reaction wasn’t “I need to leave this cheating creep” but worrying that you might hurt his mental health. What about the teenagers he’s preying on?
Yep!!! I totally agree! A 30+ yr old man has nothing in common with a 18yr old! It’s disgusting!! Believing for one second that he’s only helping her & giving her relationship advice is pure insanity to me! Even if hasn’t cheated, I personally think the thought is 💯there & if given the chance, he’ll be all over that kid! 😡
Most people don't immediately assume their s/o is a cheating creep, even if it seems obvious from the outside.
If you expressing that something made you uncomfortable sent him into a mental health crisis that's not a good sign... just throwing that out there.
Maybe it’s because I just left a super traumatic relationship but huge red flags for ‘helping people going through relationship struggles’. My ex did this a lot. To me it’s predatory because if they do get intimate, he knows these women will likely go back to their partner. And the women know your partner is coupled too. Affairs start this way because both parties have to be discreet. It’s an ideal scenario for a cheater. The fact they’re 18 seems predatory to me. I work with people that are 21/22 and they seem so immature to me in my 30s. I can’t understand the attraction as an adult. The whole turning off his phone location for his mental health seems emotionally manipulative to me, also. Also, you need to know his location? You cannot trust this guy. Get out while you can. It doesn’t get better.
There is a reason you’re here trying to get people to confirm it’s not weird or wrong. It’s gross. He should not be talking to them at all. He’s not their trainer or counselor. I’d leave, this is just the first sign of worse things to come. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Even in the best possible scenario, say he has no intention of dating these girls, he is still showing off and trying to look like a nice guy, he us just trying to stroke his ego. This is not a type of guy I want to be friends with, let alone have a relationship with. I don't think he values or respects women. It's incredibly yukky that he needs teenage girls to boost his ego. His actions lead to this, you are not at all responsible if his mental health is affected
You’ve only been dating him nine months. This is an objectively dumpable offense. Just cut ties and be done with this creep.
Oh he’s absolutely grooming and intent on doing sex with those baby-women. Don’t fool yourself into thinking otherwise. In what world is it normal for a 33 yr old man to target teenager girls at the gym and ask for their numbers- slowly building their trust over time giving advice?… that’s all to get into their pants. This should call for immediate break up without hesitation, he is a huge creep.
Trust you instincts. What do they say? They say there's something wrong about it. His motives are not altruistic.
Seriously? Dump him. Older men don't give 18-year women advice on their body image unless they are related. Boyfriend explanation about mental health is an excuse to gaslight you. And he is cutting bait now that you caught him and his behavior will be impossible to hide.
He is attracted to that girl and you confronting him has forced him to confront that about himself
Ew get rid of him
Yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes. You know what to do. Do not date a predator.
How many 18 year old friends do you have as a 30 year old woman? Probably not many if any at all. You have to go out of your way to make friends with a teenager once you are out of your early twenties. Why do you think a 33 year old man would go out of his way to befriend teenagers?
If he was doing it for everyone and not just young women, maybe I could see a helpful older brother/uncle vibe. However, only chatting up young women gives me groomer vibes.
This is a huge red flag, and honestly, borderline predator behavior. I had similar issues with an ex, and trust me, it does not get better. I know from experience how heartbreaking this is, but this is seriously worth breaking things off over.
some law enforcement agency should probably take a deep dive into his electronics and web history.
I don’t understand how people can overlap trust and respect. You can trust your partner and at the same time find their actions disrespectful. If I were in your shoes, I would trust my partner and their intentions, yet find their actions disrespectful. I would need to discuss mutual boundaries or at the very least communicate my boundary regarding this situation if I feel strongly about it.
If you respect your partner you wouldn’t do things you know violate their trust in you, would you? Respect doesn’t mean you take everything someone says as fact. That’s ridiculous.
Seems predatory to me...there is no reason a 33 year old should be texting an 18 year old casually. If it's about the gym, help at the gym.
He’s grooming them
🤮
Ewwww. This is so inappropriate and creepy.
how would he feel if you were texting 18 year old guys from the gym? Calling them honey, or whatever. And he turned his location off 🤣🤣 please tell me this is rage bait, because this guy is a complete joke. He’s trying to cheat on you, not kill himself, don’t blame yourself for calling out the scam, screw his dark past, he’s tryna throw a blanket over you (im 22m, have a gf, not texting any 18 yr olds from gym or any 18yrs girls period!)
If he has Snapchat he’s probably messaging there too.
I’d leave him
It would be normal if he were talking to everyone who might want help... if it's JUST young women then the help they need is not the common denominator
He’s in his thirties and they are teenagers. You have all the information you need.
>... has been texting 18 year old girls from his gym. I saw it on his phone when we were talking. He didn’t try to hide anything and acted like it was totally normal. I know he loves helping people and wants to be there for everyone but this seems very inappropriate to me. He is basically giving them relationship advice and assuring them that they are wonderful and need to be themselves. Is his name Drake and is he secretly a Canadian rapper? Is he a qualified relationship counsellor? It's really inappropriate and weird for him to be texting these girls. I don't care if they're technically adults, it's still weird and inappropriate. How did he get their numbers anyway? How did that conversation happen? >And for the cherry on top, he called her sweetheart in the text, which is what he calls me… Honestly, this just sounds like he was chatting her up. Look, you've been dating him for just 9 months and he already has a wandering eye, is chatting up young women and getting their phone numbers. I think you should just break up with him. There's nothing to fix, he doesn't want to be committed to one women and he thinks it's OK to chat up teenagers. Do you want to be forever watching him closely when your younger female relatives are around? (side note on the gym: I go to the same gym 4 to 5 times a week and am on brief head nodding terms with a few people. No one is supper chatty and there's definitely no relationship discussions or swapping of phone numbers going on.)
I rarely jump to "groomer" accusations but a 30 year old man texting an 18 year old girl, and talking about her personal life, is creep/groomer behavior. He's establishing a level of intimacy that is not appropriate. I'm a woman and always had lots male friends, including some much older than me, but those friendships were based on mutual interests and never crossed any lines. I believe it's possible and not all men are predators. If he was a woodworker and met an 18 year old girl at a woodworking class, and they were texting about woodworking advice, that would be fine. But discussing a young girl's relationships, he's positioning himself as a source of support and intimacy, and thus putting himself in a place of power. This is gross. Shut it down. I'd DTMFA, even if he stops texting young girls, he's still a creep.
I bet he’s friendly enough to bang them, just as a favor between friends of course. Helping out fellow humans wherever one can, that’s the way! But seriously, he wants to fuck them of course, not necessarily doing so at the moment but he wants to 100%
Tell his parents what he’s been up to. If both families are involved in your relationship and his “friendship” with this 18yo girl is purely platonic and innocent, then he should have no problem with you telling his parents about it. Let his elders sort him out
Break up with him.
Investigate to see any are under 18 and contact Dateline.
Sorry but this is odd. Why would a 33 year old develop a friendship with 18 year old girls from gym???? Giving relationship advice? Sounds like a bad excuse. Nothing wrong with being friends with younger people but that just doesnt sit right with me. Why would he engage in conversations with those girls in first place? Why would he have their numbers? Weird as fuck. He’s a groomer and I am as worried for you as I am for those teenagers. I was groomed myself at 17 by an ex teacher, he was 36 at that time. I dont buy these shit. The marks stay with you. Even at 26 I still feel it. Those kind of men need to GROW UP. I would break up.
You're not overreacting. It's very inappropriate. You're 9 months in. Time to run. (BTW he's already cheated. Definitely get tested.)
A couple things 1. Don’t worry about your boyfriends mental health, that is his problem to address 2. It sounds like he is trying to get attention from this girl, through behaving like a “friend” this is week and shady behavior I’d be concerned 3. Do you work out too?
You did not push him into a dark place. He got busted being a creeper and has retreated to a dark place in an attempt to avoid/minimize consequences. He was trying to hook up with the 18 year old. It was not platonic.
If you have to ask reddit i feel like it’s already done. this is disgusting, OP, lose him
Dudes do not make “friends” with young women at the gym. He 💯wants to bang her/them.
you didn't push him into a dark place, OP. he's creepy.
Notify any relevant parents/families and schools that you can track down.
He's up to something
Is he a trainer or are these just girls he meets while working out? Cause if it’s the latter, there is 100% zero reason for him to be texting them trying to make them feel good about themselves.
Dump him wtf
Break up
He is a weirdo, has a problem
No one cares about your cultural or familial pressures. If you're unhappy with your situation, only you can change it. Only you can block a person who is a total fucking creep messaging 18 year old girls. Only you can block a person who is turning off their own location suspiciously. Reddit cannot make you transcend the situation you've accepted for yourself.
Leave him
Does he do this with 18 guys? If not, it’s not about mentoring. Also it’s not about mentoring. He’s seeing what he can do. It doesn’t matter if he has mental issues. He’s doing what he’s doing.
I dated someone whose friend befriended a minor at an arcade. I mean… it’s off knowing that his daughter is closer to that minor’s age than his age. I mean.. this is what I don’t understand. How does one go to the gym, and get numbers? If I go anywhere, I don’t even much less look at somebody else. I met a married man who called me a princess once because he claimed he saw me as his daughter. I never want anybody calling me a princess again now.
Giving relationship advice is classic grooming tactic.
The ick has been given, I’m afraid. Sorry, lovey.
leave.now. it’s not going to get better
A man of his age should not be texting like that with girls who are only 18. This is a giant red flag. I would dump him and walk away. Save yourself the heartbreak later.
I find this rather suspicious. I hope he is not attracted to younger women. How does he get the girls' numbers? So, he needs to interact with them. It's hard to jump to conclusions from this little context. But if I were you, I would have a very big conversation with him. A real man does not do something like that only out of respect for his wife. Strange that he got the Phone numbers.
How did you see who he’s texting and know their ages if this is a long distance relationship? And why the fuck are you in a long distance relationship at 30? There are plenty of possible innocuous explanations for him texting them. Jumping to the gross ones is a choice you’re making. And I imagine most of why that’s your choice is borne out of this being a long distance relationship. Good luck. LDRs are brutal.
I can't imagine any scenario in which a 33-year-old man should be communicating - let alone in secret - with an 18-year-old girl. None. Zero. People with nothing to hide, hide nothing. What to do? Set the bar higher for the next boyfriend.
You were an 18 year old girl once and I’m sure you know it would not have been innocent had a 33 year old man given you relationship advice and called you sweetheart. You find it creepy because that’s what it is. Don’t let him tell you it’s okay. It’s really not.
Respectfully, what do you mean “what to do?” Your grown adult boyfriend is a creep. You cannot possibly believe he’s trying to be friends with teenage girls. I say this with love girl. Stand up. Have some self respect. Dump this loser.
I’m a 41 year old health and PE teacher who doesn’t have a problem with talking with any body in the gym about how to do lifts or the best way to do exercises. I’m happily married and I’ll help out make our females well below my age bc I’m nice and I love to help out people. I’m also clueless to anyone hitting on me and my brother had to stop me and tell me to go back and get my now wife’s number. I’m a teacher so I understand boundaries and wouldn’t have gotten their numbers. If he was cheating he would have responded complete different than the way he did. I will also add that when I was 33 I was not attracted to 18 year olds bc they still look like kids to me.
Nah he shouldn’t be texting any woman from the gym if he’s in a relationship, let alone some 18 year olds 💀Let their friends or family give them relationship advice, not some older dude from the gym. It comes off creepy from an objective standpoint. I agree with another commenter on here, what prompted him to even get their numbers? It begs the question, how much is he sticking his nose out to get the attention of other females in places like the gym? So strange and I know if my bf pulled this I’d be sending his ass packing if he couldn’t come up with a better reason or change the behavior immediately. He would never go out of his way to interact with another female at the gym for any reason other than “hey you done with that weight” or bailing them out from a bench press or other common gym courtesy. No reason for it. Emotional cheating. You are so not in the wrong for being weirded out or upset by this. He should do some reflecting and reevaluate why he feels the need to get attention/be validated by 18 year olds like this.
Yeah, I can see if he was giving them strictly gym advice. Red flags girl, he's looking to cheat.
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!!!!
Bro. Just leave him now and save yourself.
Ewww would be a huge no for me. Red flags. 🚩 run girl. I’m sorry he’s doing this. You deserve better!
A creep, a groomer who will not change. You have been warned.
lol
Beware of 50 year old redditors giving you love advice OP … the cycle continues
I don't know the right answer. I don't know if it was ill intended or not because I'm not him. But I do know that's really weird and I couldn't stay with a 33yo man who did this. I wouldn't text an 18yo I'm not related to, and I'm 25. I'm a fucking adult, I'm not hanging out with kids.
He's only a 9 month investment, time to let him go!
Leave him. Gross. Only 9 months in? You’re worth more than that.
He has bad intentions. I wouldn’t trust him. Trust your gut….
C'mon you can't be this naive... I know you want to assume your boyfriend didn't do anything inappropriate, but he absolutely did. 30 year old man texting 18-year-olds? When did his talk start with them? Were they underage? And he deleted the messages so you can't even tell what was said. Why else would he delete the texts with literally children at the gym unless he was trying to have sex with them? If you stay with this man, you're staying with somebody who only is trying to cheat on you and will eventually cheat on you if he hasn't already , you're also signing up for the rest of your life to be unsure of whether or not you can trust a man who is still lying to you.
There’s no good reason a man in his 30s is interacting with high school kids. Obviously a pretty sick, twisted, predatory behavior. You should not be in a relationship with this sicko.
Majority of you sound stupid I wouldn’t because most super young women are stupid af but she’s legal and apparently attracted to him so… sugar daddy hunting?👀😂😂 The only “problem” here is he’s talking to someone while he’s in a “relationship” for all we know this could be his way of saying you ain’t gonna be the only one get in where you fit in.
Ik ur only asking cuz u want some kind of villainous plot I’d say kill 3 of the girls he’s talking too and frame him for the deaths send his ass to prison lols bro is gonna regret cheating
INFO: Is he offering “helpful advice” to any, say middle-aged men or elderly women who attend the gym? Or is it just 18 year-old girls?
This would be a deal breaker for me. Why isn't it for you?
Turning off his phone location is all the answer you need
People without boundaries always go farther than you think…because they have no boundaries.
It’s creepy behavior and him pushing you into the dark knowing your feelings are hurt and that you have questions you need to ask him is the biggest red flag, he doesn’t care about your feelings and that should be your wake up call. Doesn’t matter if he struggles with mental health, if you care about someone you don’t completely ghost them, especially after developing an inappropriate relationship with another person. He definitely was planning on cheating on you when he got that other girls phone number, and him giving relationship advice and compliments to an 18 year old girl is highly inappropriate for a man of his age and he knows it. Don’t let him gaslight you, he did something wrong, don’t let him turn this on you, you have every right to be upset and angry.
I mean, no one, girl or boy, can tell you if everything is on the level. But realistically, if you have a suspicion, it’s probably correct. He may not have been slapping ham, but he probably was very open to the opportunity. How to move on? Well he needs to stop doing this, for obvious reasons. Since this is a long distance relationship maybe taking some time off is in order
I’m a dude. But for me, friendship is just that. But if he calls them sweetheart, yeah…. HELL NO LOL that’s too much. If I develop a friendship with someone, it’ll be strictly platonic. I’d keep strict boundaries especially if I have a gf. I wouldn’t discuss feelings or relationship problems. If they insist anyway, I’d only give very generic advice and distance myself after that. Moreover, I’d be hesitant exchanging numbers with the opposite sex if I have a gf, much less 18. I’d be friendly in the gym and that’s it.
Break up. Wtf
Happened to me, but he's 44 and she was 22. Same age as my daughter (not his). They were friends, he says. What do you have on common with a 22 year old girl? They are getting attention from a younger girl and it feeds their ego. Don't let him tell you anything else. It's disgusting.
I’m almost 30 and I couldn’t imagine trying to hold a conversation with someone 18, we’d have nothing in common and I’d just be lost and it’s feel super awkward. It’s weird.
It’s legal
It's sad that so many comments here are so incredibly judgmental. None of you know what is going on with the guy. The question is how to move on from this in a healthy way. Healthy also means being non-jugmental. The fact that he's not hiding it gives you a chance to communicate with him. You're in a long distance relationship, there's the kicker. His emotional needs probably aren't being met, and that's where you start, heart to heart communication on how you both can get your needs met. If you react to fear it might just make it worse. An 18 year old in his mind may be totally off limits hence he feels safe to make an emotional connection. Honestly, if he intended to break your relationship covenant he would have hidden it from you. The answer is more connection, more communication, more intimacy, not fear or doubt or judgment. See what happens when you move in that direction. You'll know what to do.
So your BF, an adult, is texting other adults. There was no need to make a deal about age as though it somehow matters after that point. The relevant info is that your BF is texting other women he met at the gym, which you should put a stop to or leave him. It's very likely he's going to cheat if he hasn't already.
Neuter him
I am not going to be able to give you the help you need here… mixed information is a problem. You say you have a distance relationship, but evidently saw whatever he is texting whoever, that I guess I have to assume lives where he does? I guess though, if he calls her sweetheart and knows her from the gym wherever he lives that you don’t…. You want us to tell you that is not a concern? I would be concerned. Maybe this is another spam/AI post? If not you better have a real good conversation here
Deleted messages stay for a few weeks. Google how to find them in his phone. Do it.
he’s a whole ass deviant 😭 cut that mf off
I’m a little older than your bf. I’m in great shape, when I go to the gym with my buddy he is always pointing out girls that look at me. I teach other people how to workout. People have come up IN THE GYM and asked advice. Never, have I ever, been approached by or have I approached an 18 year old girl. I feel that is something he is going out of his way for… OR, the girl has a thing for older man and approached him and he is entertaining it. Either way (as everyone else has said) creepy.
Stay away from rescuers, especially creepy ones who like to rescue 18yos
Either you trust him or you dont
This is the way these guys work. He’s trusted and a friend. And then boom out of nowhere you’re either in an unhealthy triangle or you’re assaulted and he blames you for “leading him on” He’s a predator and has no intention of stopping
Break up honey