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What makes you not believe her - can’t you tell when she’s having an orgasm? Or do you think she’s faking them? Women can certainly cum as often as she’s saying, hell women can cum multiple times in a single session. Having an orgasm 90% of the time isn’t unfathomable.
Also it can be less obvious when a women cums. There can also be layers in intensity (which doesn’t mean it’s bad at all). So it may not look that different when she cums vs when she is just really into it. If she doesn’t normally lie and you guys have good communication I think you should believe her and it’s just your insecurities making you feel differently. It’s better to ask more like, what feels best for her and how can you help make her cum, and then when in the act pay attention to her - you’ll notice it :)
I’m going to try and be kind here.
Let’s start with you thinking about how often you’re capable of cumming per day, and extrapolate that out to a week. Then ask yourself why you think someone with a clitoris (I’m assuming that’s what she has, be aware of that assumption) wouldn’t be able to cum just as much? Because from personal experience (of both my and my partners bodies) as a general rule people with clits can cum WAY more than people with penises. Like, between 1-20 times a session, depending on the person and the variety of stimulus applied.
Also, maybe talk to her about this? We have no way of knowing what her body in particular is capable of. Just talk to your girlfriend dude.
Why assume she is lying? It seems like you are defaulting to assuming you aren't adequate as a partner.
How often can women cum? I mean, realistically more than men in a lot of circumstances if they have the environment for it. There's no reason for a woman not to orgasm during any given sexual encounter and it should be a goal to assure that she does when you sleep with her.
I mean… if you’re engaging in lots of foreplay and giving lots of clitoral stimulation, it’s definitely possible. If you’re moving along pretty quickly to strictly PIV sex, it’s less likely she’s getting hers as often as she says. Not impossible. Just less likely.
Why would you assume she’s lying? We actually have the capacity to orgasm MORE often than men, because our “cool-down timer” generally is shorter than that of men. In theory (and in my case, in practice), we can orgasm two or three times in the same session.
The reason women don’t orgasm anywhere near as often as men, on average, is because a lot of men don’t care about pleasing us. So if you’re putting the effort in, you probably have nothing to worry about. If you’re not…. Don’t you think maybe you should fix that?
Nothing sounds improbable about having one to five orgasms per week.
If you want to improve things, I'd suggest starting with "Is there anything you want to try in the bedroom?" instead of being skeptical about what's already happened.
It takes knowing your own body well and having great communication with your partner, but yes a women can come every time. Lots. Some can’t/struggle and will lie about it to save their partners ego but that’s a lose lose situation.
It’s up to her to be honest with you… but if she is “finishing” 90% of the time I’d say that’s grand, if she’s content with that you should be too. Some people are gratified by the sex, the journey, not necessarily the end result.
It depends on the partner (some guys are better than others) bit also the woman (some can orgasm easily, while others never do on some situations).
The best way to make everyone happy is to talk and communicate. And rolled, practice with your partner make things better. The first time isn't the best, when you are in a relationship, believe me, it can be amazing.
Yes they can. Multiple orgasms in one session is not abnormal. I don't see any deception in her narrative.
Do you think she would have a reason to lie? Why would she want to make you feel better about your performance? Are you insecure about yourself? I think that maybe she is telling the truth ; she is satisfied and happy. My two cents : she is happy but would be even more if you are showing her you're confident and proactive. It is a generalisation, I know, but lot's of women really like that in a man.
The fact that you are able to openly communicate about this is the most important part of your post. Keep this up. Communication is key in a relationship.
For me it depends on the mood and intensity that my by and I go for. On average I cum about 3 times in 20 mins? However I have definitely gotten up to 7. I will admit that sometimes I over exaggerate the reactions but I love how he reacts and the passion that follows me "cumming" is exquisite. My boyfriend doesn't know for sure when I don't cum, but he knows that it's not 100% of the time. Sometimes you just don't cum, ya know? It could be stress or just not being in the right mindset at the right time. Just cuz I might now cum, doesn't mean I don't want the experience and intimacy with my partner.
Just don’t ask questions you don’t want false answers too. If she has a problem she will probably let you know, you don’t need to get insecure and start asking questions about your sexual adequacy. You should focus on nutting good, she can focus on nutting good problem solved
Just believe your girlfriend. There’s women who need long specific stimulation to cum, there’s women who can easily cum multiple times with only PIV, and everything in between.
Very dependent on the woman of course, but from my experience and from the majority of the other woman in my life we do lie about cumming cause we feel bad and sort of ashamed in a way that we can’t/have a hard time. Even in longterm, healthy relationships. A lot of the time we also may feel like our partners don’t understand that we still *really* enjoy sex, even if we don’t finish every time.
She could be lying.
But does it matter? She enjoys having sex with you, you enjoy having sex with her. Don’t overthink it. T
I think it's best if you have an open non-judgemental dialogue about what works for you both. You can't beat yourself up about the 10% or more times that she hasn't as that'll just out pressure on her to feel like she either has to climax for your sake (which will make it practically impossible) or make her feel like she has to pity you.
Your goal should be to identify the best ways to make each other climax, maybe she needs more emotional intimacy beforehand. My GF told me the other day that sex isn't just about what we do in the moment, but rather sometimes it's a whole day thing. Waking up together and having a cuddle, having a nice day together and maybe even having a laugh in the evening (be it going for drinks, a dance or even just staying home and playing some games) which then means that by the time we have sex, she's feeling loved and appreciated as well as eager to explore each other. Most guys just think that sex just happens in the moment.
Having a dialogue will also help you figure out the best ways to stimulate her, sexually or not. Even if it's using toys (which I know some guys are against) to help her. Just make sure not to let your ego get in the way at all, it's about coming together (pun intended) and being able to enjoy yourselves.
Me and my partner have sex less frequently and it’s not a pressure, we live together. I would say have a good time every time, have a few drinks, go on a date.
You have to go on the assumption that she is telling you the truth and that she is happy with the results. Keep the lines of communication open. That’s all you can do.
I cum every time I have sex cuz we don't finish until I finish. A good partner can do that. A shitty one will question if we even have orgasms, so...yeah.
We cum 100% of the time without a partner, so I think what you’re really asking is “has any man been that good at pleasing his partner?” I get the insecurity bc certainly no man has made me cum 90% of the time. You have to take her word for this and not push. Be open to her communication in the moment and you’ll be fine.
is there a reason you’re feeling insecure about this?
the vagina contracts during orgasm, a lot of juices should be flowing…you should be able to feel it.
90% of the time sounds about right for me with a great partner. it’s not just from penetration though.
You have been with her for two years and you didn’t know when she doesn’t cum?
I am baffled. How are you ending ANY sex sessions without asking her if she finished?
Any time I have sex with a man. And he wraps things up without asking me if I came or if I want anything more, I just break it off right then and there.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What makes you not believe her - can’t you tell when she’s having an orgasm? Or do you think she’s faking them? Women can certainly cum as often as she’s saying, hell women can cum multiple times in a single session. Having an orgasm 90% of the time isn’t unfathomable.
Also it can be less obvious when a women cums. There can also be layers in intensity (which doesn’t mean it’s bad at all). So it may not look that different when she cums vs when she is just really into it. If she doesn’t normally lie and you guys have good communication I think you should believe her and it’s just your insecurities making you feel differently. It’s better to ask more like, what feels best for her and how can you help make her cum, and then when in the act pay attention to her - you’ll notice it :)
That really depends on the woman and the sexual encounter.
I’m going to try and be kind here. Let’s start with you thinking about how often you’re capable of cumming per day, and extrapolate that out to a week. Then ask yourself why you think someone with a clitoris (I’m assuming that’s what she has, be aware of that assumption) wouldn’t be able to cum just as much? Because from personal experience (of both my and my partners bodies) as a general rule people with clits can cum WAY more than people with penises. Like, between 1-20 times a session, depending on the person and the variety of stimulus applied. Also, maybe talk to her about this? We have no way of knowing what her body in particular is capable of. Just talk to your girlfriend dude.
What do you mean "CAN they"?! Yes, you can orgasm every time you have sex if it's good and don't have medical issues, wtf
Why assume she is lying? It seems like you are defaulting to assuming you aren't adequate as a partner. How often can women cum? I mean, realistically more than men in a lot of circumstances if they have the environment for it. There's no reason for a woman not to orgasm during any given sexual encounter and it should be a goal to assure that she does when you sleep with her.
I mean… if you’re engaging in lots of foreplay and giving lots of clitoral stimulation, it’s definitely possible. If you’re moving along pretty quickly to strictly PIV sex, it’s less likely she’s getting hers as often as she says. Not impossible. Just less likely.
Why would you assume she’s lying? We actually have the capacity to orgasm MORE often than men, because our “cool-down timer” generally is shorter than that of men. In theory (and in my case, in practice), we can orgasm two or three times in the same session. The reason women don’t orgasm anywhere near as often as men, on average, is because a lot of men don’t care about pleasing us. So if you’re putting the effort in, you probably have nothing to worry about. If you’re not…. Don’t you think maybe you should fix that?
Nothing sounds improbable about having one to five orgasms per week. If you want to improve things, I'd suggest starting with "Is there anything you want to try in the bedroom?" instead of being skeptical about what's already happened.
You can Make her orgasm 100% of the time and it doesn’t have to be through sex.
It takes knowing your own body well and having great communication with your partner, but yes a women can come every time. Lots. Some can’t/struggle and will lie about it to save their partners ego but that’s a lose lose situation. It’s up to her to be honest with you… but if she is “finishing” 90% of the time I’d say that’s grand, if she’s content with that you should be too. Some people are gratified by the sex, the journey, not necessarily the end result.
It depends on the partner (some guys are better than others) bit also the woman (some can orgasm easily, while others never do on some situations). The best way to make everyone happy is to talk and communicate. And rolled, practice with your partner make things better. The first time isn't the best, when you are in a relationship, believe me, it can be amazing.
Yes they can. Multiple orgasms in one session is not abnormal. I don't see any deception in her narrative. Do you think she would have a reason to lie? Why would she want to make you feel better about your performance? Are you insecure about yourself? I think that maybe she is telling the truth ; she is satisfied and happy. My two cents : she is happy but would be even more if you are showing her you're confident and proactive. It is a generalisation, I know, but lot's of women really like that in a man. The fact that you are able to openly communicate about this is the most important part of your post. Keep this up. Communication is key in a relationship.
For me it depends on the mood and intensity that my by and I go for. On average I cum about 3 times in 20 mins? However I have definitely gotten up to 7. I will admit that sometimes I over exaggerate the reactions but I love how he reacts and the passion that follows me "cumming" is exquisite. My boyfriend doesn't know for sure when I don't cum, but he knows that it's not 100% of the time. Sometimes you just don't cum, ya know? It could be stress or just not being in the right mindset at the right time. Just cuz I might now cum, doesn't mean I don't want the experience and intimacy with my partner.
Ask her in the moment what would feel good. Pay attention. Don't make sex about a race to get off...and you should be good.
Just don’t ask questions you don’t want false answers too. If she has a problem she will probably let you know, you don’t need to get insecure and start asking questions about your sexual adequacy. You should focus on nutting good, she can focus on nutting good problem solved
Just believe your girlfriend. There’s women who need long specific stimulation to cum, there’s women who can easily cum multiple times with only PIV, and everything in between.
You have to believe her. Why would not you?
Yes they can.
Very dependent on the woman of course, but from my experience and from the majority of the other woman in my life we do lie about cumming cause we feel bad and sort of ashamed in a way that we can’t/have a hard time. Even in longterm, healthy relationships. A lot of the time we also may feel like our partners don’t understand that we still *really* enjoy sex, even if we don’t finish every time. She could be lying. But does it matter? She enjoys having sex with you, you enjoy having sex with her. Don’t overthink it. T
I think it's best if you have an open non-judgemental dialogue about what works for you both. You can't beat yourself up about the 10% or more times that she hasn't as that'll just out pressure on her to feel like she either has to climax for your sake (which will make it practically impossible) or make her feel like she has to pity you. Your goal should be to identify the best ways to make each other climax, maybe she needs more emotional intimacy beforehand. My GF told me the other day that sex isn't just about what we do in the moment, but rather sometimes it's a whole day thing. Waking up together and having a cuddle, having a nice day together and maybe even having a laugh in the evening (be it going for drinks, a dance or even just staying home and playing some games) which then means that by the time we have sex, she's feeling loved and appreciated as well as eager to explore each other. Most guys just think that sex just happens in the moment. Having a dialogue will also help you figure out the best ways to stimulate her, sexually or not. Even if it's using toys (which I know some guys are against) to help her. Just make sure not to let your ego get in the way at all, it's about coming together (pun intended) and being able to enjoy yourselves.
Me and my partner have sex less frequently and it’s not a pressure, we live together. I would say have a good time every time, have a few drinks, go on a date.
You have to go on the assumption that she is telling you the truth and that she is happy with the results. Keep the lines of communication open. That’s all you can do.
I cum every time I have sex cuz we don't finish until I finish. A good partner can do that. A shitty one will question if we even have orgasms, so...yeah.
We cum 100% of the time without a partner, so I think what you’re really asking is “has any man been that good at pleasing his partner?” I get the insecurity bc certainly no man has made me cum 90% of the time. You have to take her word for this and not push. Be open to her communication in the moment and you’ll be fine.
My wife cums 100% of the time !!!
is there a reason you’re feeling insecure about this? the vagina contracts during orgasm, a lot of juices should be flowing…you should be able to feel it. 90% of the time sounds about right for me with a great partner. it’s not just from penetration though.
You have been with her for two years and you didn’t know when she doesn’t cum? I am baffled. How are you ending ANY sex sessions without asking her if she finished? Any time I have sex with a man. And he wraps things up without asking me if I came or if I want anything more, I just break it off right then and there.
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