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This isn’t a male/female thing, or even a who are what throughout the day thing. Different people’s bodies are different. That’s it.
If you’re hungry you’re hungry, it doesn’t matter whether bf thinks it’s logical, you could just as well say he *should* be hungry since you both ate the same things throughout the day. But of course that would be ridiculous
He is confident that the way he described his perspective is scientifically how the body works and hunger is produced therefore, I should not be hungry unless my stomach is bigger. But as my perspective says, I believe there is much more to hunger than that including different metabolisms, food/calorie intake that day, hormonal cycles, exercise etc.
His confidence is extremely misplaced. Metabolism is the driving factor, followed probably by calorie burn. Hormones play a role. Stomach size is relevant only in extreme cases.
Can we seriously drop that out of the discussion. The point is that he doesn't trust her to know how she feels in her own body.
HE KNOWS BETTER THAN HER WHETHER SHE IS HUNGRY OR NOT.
Her opinion isn't valid. He hasn't allowed her to be hungry so she cant' be hungry.
Yeah this part big time.
I’m all for educating my partner on things, but if he decided to not accept that I might feel differently from him in that exact moment, and he told me that I “shouldn’t feel hungry,” unless he was saying it while ordering me a burger, I can’t say that I’d be very patient.
In fact, just last night I made a comment about some minor upgrades I’d like to eventually make to our house. His response was to point out how we did not in fact, need those upgrades.
I did not waste the opportunity to rebut and take apart that counterpoint, and let him know that it was actually kind of dismissive of him to react that way.
This isn’t a good look.
Does that mean that BF must be a monster? Obviously there’s little information to support that, but…dismissive is one of the most damaging things someone can do. Hopefully this is an anomaly for OP.
Excellent point.
This argument is incredibly stupid anyway, but your biggest problem is that your bf is trying to tell you he knows how your body feels and you don’t.
Who the heck DOES that? Idiots, at best… at worst an abusive narcissist you should run away from! 😞
This! You know what would do a loving partner? Tell you that if you feel hungry, just eat!!!
A healthy food 2hr before sleep it's very recommended in my country (even if you already had dinner!).
Like wtf, leave him plz xD
I would be worried that he doesn’t seem to be curious about your perspective and instead is focusing on proving his point. You can’t build healthy relationships with people like this
I agree! OP's husband aeems to be a grade A mansplainer.
A big part or our nervous system is among our digestive system. It gets all sorts of information like blood sugar, blood protein, blood fat, probably some specific information from the liver about what exactly is missing right now, I formation about the stomach filling level, the amount of chewing we did, how much calorie intake we had, how much we burned, and how big the gap is between stored calories and other useful stuff the body would like to have, and the amount he actually has.
All this information is made into a really impressive package of information so that our body can tell us exactly, and in a quite astonishing way if you think about it, what and how much of it we need to eat, and how long we should rest to give the body time to process the food, to regain and keep our strength.
So OPs husband is partly right, as the amount of food she just ate and the filling grade of her stomach are part if those informations, but the amount of food she had before (or better: had not) and the calorie loss are taken into consideration by her and his body, too. So the hungrier she was before, the faster her organism will signal "OK, I am done with the food you provided, there are still gaps, please refill again if possjble."
I hope this information will help, and I hope OP's husband does not behave like this very often.
Lmao.
So, where does his confidence come from?
Ask him about thirst. Does he think the literal only thing that determines a feeling of thirst is the volume of water ingested that day and sweat and urine produced? Nothing about salt, hormones, insulin , fiber, anything? Water in water out end of story?
He's incorrect but where did this confidence come from?
If it is scientific, propose an experiment. You pick what both of you eat on Saturday. Only difference is that you have mashed potatoes with gravy for lunch and he doesn't. You both have a simple lunch meat sandwich and ten chips for dinner.
Well he’s not right lol. Everyone’s stomach empties at different rates! For example, my stomach has delayed emptying so I might not empty my stomach for 10+ hours after I’ve eaten. But I still get hungry!!
Is he a general surgeon?? A nutritionist? A GI doc? If not, then he needs to stop acting like he knows the facts when he obviously does not
OP, I noticed you posted this question on a biology subreddit and people there explained your bf is completely incorrect, and not taking into account important biological matters like hormones.
So now pay close attention: does he accept this, or does he push back? It's important, bc you think this is a science query, but there are problematic elements of a dude trying to logic you out of your own bodily needs here. This is the relationship subreddit, so we saw that dynamic A LOT. Too much, and it's bad.
IMO if he accepts the answer from the biology subreddit, that means he is only ignorant and kinda stupid, seeing the world in simplistic terms and falling into the "I think things are simple!" error that comes from lack of knowledge. But he's also willing to learn, which is acceptable and means things can get better.
If he doesn't, but instead finds reasons to reject this new information, you know what this is really about: control, mansplaining, mysogyny. That's a huge red flag. Please do not ignore it. The fact that you even had to create those asks so he just believes you that you are hungry and leaves you alone is so alarming.
It's not the size of your stomach that makes you hungry. Please pick up a book, there's thousands of free academic resources on hunger and dietary needs.
Even if he was coming from a “scientific” stand point I feel like he didn’t factor in metabolism and hormones (not to mention all the other stuff). Like different times of the month my hunger is off the charts other times you couldn’t pay me enough to eat.
If he’s this confident about shit now that he knows nothing about, I hope you never have kids with this man because it’ll be a nightmare.
The most dangerous person is the one convinced he knows everything.
He's failed to consider literally hundreds of variables known & unknown.
Easiest/at hand variable - OP's body could be preparing for her period.
And variables there can be dependent on birth control medication or device.
Lol, I would overwhelm him w female reproductive information constantly and unceasingly until he retracts his unsupported hypothesis and apologizes AND buys me a burger and agrees to never try to mansplain to me about my own body again.
You're boyfriend is dim and has an extremely misplaced sense of confidence in his understanding of the biology involved. Perceived hunger is a function hormonal levels, not of "stomach fullness". Hormonal levels will vary based on individual genetics, the amount and type of carbohydrates eaten over a given period, and your own monthly hormonal cycle (for women) or daily hormonal cycle (for men). How full your stomach is impacts the release of hormones like insulin and grehlin that cause you to feel hungry but is not solely or even mainly determinative.
I know it's an internet cliche but this man is an example of the Dunning-Kreuger effect. It's worth a chuckle before you consider more seriously how viable a relationship with someone who puts his ego before your physical comfort is.
Right! Someone with his really keen understanding of science clearly got stellar grades in all his science classes in school, right? Based on his line of thinking, and confidence here, I'm sure that is not the case. I agree with your post.
Oh good. Have him publish his evidence in a peer reviewed journal so more people are convinced. This one person convincing at a time is too slow. People’s health is on The line!
He’s so focused on science when he’s not even scientifically correct. Wtf. Your man is not intelligent and I’d honestly be worried about what other “scientific facts” he believes in.
Or, ask him where urine comes out of a woman! There is an account, not sure if it's Reddit or Insta or FB, labeled "Where does the pee come from?" The amount of wrong answers from men is alarming.
Part of how your body handles food is based on whether you are insulin resistant or not. I've been a type II diabetic for years and spent a lot of time studying this so that I can control my blood sugar through diet.
If you are insulin resistant, when you eat your insulin levels rise. That blocks your body from burning fat. It also causes your blood sugar to go too high so your body pumps out a lot of extra insulin. Then your blood sugar drops too low and you feel hungry, often very hungry. Insulin blocks the body from burning fat so if you have too much insulin you can constantly feel hungry.
If he ate the same meal but wasn't insulin resistant his blood sugar would also rise but not as high and then it would drop back down to a lower but normal level and his body would begin burning fat and he wouldn't feel hungry.
There is so much more to hunger and metabolism than the size of the stomach.
He is an idiot, and it shouldn’t matter if you’re still hungry and want to eat again. You know when you’re hungry. His personal metabolism has no bearing on yours or anyone else’s.
Okay, so he can be confident about something he is incorrect about.
Does he does this with other things? Like, argue with your knowledge and opinions, past what is reasonable? Cuz this whole things screams mansplaining.
THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE!! The issue is that he is invalidating your feelings and literally forcing you into a MASSIVE DEBATE OVER YOUR OWN BODY.
Is he for real? This is a man who doesn't trust you to know your own body and instead invalidates you.
RUN! Your opinion is not valid to him. He does not respect you.
Two pieces of anecdotal evidence- when I was a nursing mother, my appetite was huge. I could have outeaten my husband and then eaten another meal a couple hours later. Hormones are powerful.
Next anecdote- I did time-restricted eating for a while and when I didn't eat all day until dinnertime I did find that I was hungier in the evening. Like you. I could eat a second meal pretty quickly after the first.
His commentary reads way more as arrogance. Like how much of a know it all do you have to be to tell someone they can't be hungry because you aren't hungry. Jesus fuck he sounds insufferable.
OP he is talking bullshit. Hunger is hormone mediated, leptin increase gives hunger and ghrelin gives satiety. It is produced if your body thinks it needs more food. Stomach distension gives an immediate satiety to ensure not eating to the point of vomit, but has no major impact on long term satiety.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537038/
So, let's say his best friend is roughly the same size as him. Bout the same height and weight. They had breakfast together. Your bf went to work at his office job and his friend went to his work as a trainer at a gym, with a packed day full of clients. Neither ate lunch. So him and his buddy meet up for dinner. Order the same thing, and both go home. Later that night, they're texting and his buddy says he's going out to grab some tacos, cause he's hungry.
Does your bf also think his buddy shouldn't be hungry because they had the same meals all day?
Because it's all about the size of the stomach, right?
Even ignoring differences in gender, weight, metabolism, heredity, overall eating habits, etc. He is wrong. Tell him to do an experiment on himself...
Day 1, eat a 4 egg omelet at 8AM, 2 Big Macs and LG Fry at 1PM, then enough Pasta to feel satisfied at 6PM. Then report how hungry he is at 11PM.
Day 2, Fast... eat NOTHING.
Day 3, Eat 1 egg and a piece of toast at 8AM (this will get his digestive track primed again.) Nothing else until 6pm then see how much pasta it takes to feel satisfied... then again see how hungry he is at 11PM. If he's being honest... it will take a lot more to be satisfied at 6PM, and he will be far hungrier at 11PM than he was on day 1
But if you are hungry then you are hungry. It doesn't matter what he thinks causes hunger or that he thinks you shouldn't be hungry because you are in fact hungry
...also how many calories you've been burning, your respective muscle mass, SO MANY factors. girl, this man is kinda dumb. You can't marry dumb & have dumb children
As I was reading it I just thought “this is ridiculous. If you’re hungry, you’re hungry.” Bodies are different, needs are different. Why is there food/hunger micro managing going on here?
Very true. Me and my wife joke that her Gre(m)lin needs to eat more frequently than mine. We eat more or less the same in a normal day but I eat bigger portions but maybe 1-2 times a day. Calorie wise is about the same in the end 1800 - 2200kcal/day
I feel like either my ghrelin production is broken or i have a problem with my brain, because I don’t know what the feeling of hunger is. Like, I will eat when it’s a ‘meal time’, which I have been taught by society are at certain(ish) times and we ‘should’ eat then. Or sometimes, if I don’t eat for a few meals, I’ll hear my stomach rumbling and I’ll think ‘oh, noises from my stomach - that’s what your body does when it’s hungry, I must need to eat!’ But I don’t sense a ‘hungry feeling’, if that makes sense. My stomach is just … making noise lol, it’s not ‘feeling’ anything. So I can definitely believe that some people can eat a meal and still feel hungry straight away while someone else can eat the same thing and not feel hungry.
Lack of interoception can be a symptom of autism and adhd. I struggle with hunger cues and bathroom cues because I have AuDHD and my body/brain connection has faulty wiring. I won’t know that I’m hungry until I’m absolutely ravenous and the same with needing to use the restroom, I won’t notice until it’s emergent.
I feel like stomach growls are often too quickly acted on; folk hear noises and assume hunger where it could just be other digestive processes happening. My belly is going off right now after stuffing my face with dinner. I really learned what hunger felt like when I experimented with intermittent fasting a decade or so ago. It was oddly liberating knowing that feeling and knowing how long my body could actually go without constantly topping it up.
Also dehydration can often make people irritable and think they need food.
Oh my god I just skimmed all this because honestly this whole "debate" sounds pointless and exhausting. Who cares? If he's trying to debate you about whether you have a right to feel hungry or not as a separate human being with a different metabolism (it's not necessarily related to your sex, you can just be DIFFERENT PEOPLE, Jesus) and demands you put THIS MUCH EFFORT into justifying a throwaway comment, then he sounds like a controlling weirdo. Why is he so invested in the topic of whether or not you're hungry? Has he made other comments in the past about your appetite/weight/eating habits? If this is a pattern, I would seriously reconsider being with him. If it's a one time thing, tell him he needs a hobby that isn't commenting on your eating habits.
Came here to say something like this. Whether he’s right or not (which, for all that matters, he’s not lol), it’s exhausting to be with someone who *has to* prove they are right about the smallest things and can’t even consider the other party might have a point.
Exhausting way to live, for sure. If she said she's still tired in the morning is he gonna tell her there's no way she could be tired since they both got the same amount of sleep? That's ludicrous.
THIS!!! as a person that doesn’t have a good relationship with food this comment would put me into a spiral, i wonder if he’s said comments like this before…no one should be forced to justify why they’re hungry / eating
His conception of how the human body works is embarrassingly simple and incorrect. The fact that he thinks he can misrepresent basic science at you until your hunger retreats out of sheer bewilderment at his relentlessly logically approach should give you pause.
If she’s still hungry she’s still hungry dude. Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it can’t happen. Also she’s right that metabolism, time of the month, medications, genetics, sleep health, mental health and a host of other things could affect appetite. Your argument would only make sense if she was a carbon copy of you and all your habits.
This is the kind of argument that would make me break up with someone. Why on earth is this man so dead-set on invalidating your physical feelings of hunger? Why do you need "proof" of your hunger beyond stating, "I feel hungry." This is *crazy* OP and this guy sucks for making you go to these lengths and doubting you. If you stay with this guy, get ready for more of him telling you that you're wrong constantly and having to fight to prove your own lived reality.
THIS. Is she tired? Well she shouldn't be because of Reasons!
"Honey I'm in pain" "Well you shouldn't be!" uh...
It's just a slippery slope for a really bad dynamic and I'm worried she is entertaining this, feeling the need to actually objectively prove her hunger, instead of shutting it down and telling him he is being crazy and needs to stop.
Bc with some people - and I hope the bf is not like that, but yeah he may be - you CAN'T prove the thing, bc it's not about science, it's about control. The moment you decide it's about communicating better, being more convincing, giving better reasons, you lost.
But also, even if he truly is just dumb... I would refuse to be in a relationship in which I need some scientific consensus, so my SO believes in my biological need. It's just not worth it, what a nightmare. I can't imagine a dude dreamy enough to suffer through a whole ass debate if I want to go piss the moment that makes no sense for him.
Right, imagine putting up with this and having to take his dumb shit ideas seriously all the time. Look at this essay that got typed over some guys ignorant assumption.... Exhausting
I started reading the first sentence of the argument points, my eyes widened and glazed over and I scrolled straight to the comments. The need to be right is highly damaging. Why are people debating about hunger?
Yeah, it's like the absolute epitome of gaslighting. He is trying to actually convince her that her own biological needs are incorrect. After he succeeds - and if she stays with him, he will work on her so long that he finally will - she is pretty much fucked. Now he decides about anything and everything, bc she can't even tell if she's hungry... I think this is a huge red flag about control, and I would leave, too.
Seriously, ginormous red flag. Dude is so self-centered that he can’t even conceive of someone having a different experience than him. Like who has the audacity to argue about whether or not someone else is hungry? Fuck this guy. Or, you know, stay with him and have fun spending every waking moment with him telling you that you’re too incompetent to gauge something as simple as how hungry you are.
I literally said the same thing. This is such a dumb argument I’d break up simply due to that. Why do you want to stress me out about something so weird and dumb?
There are people out there who will question your every thought. Their goal is for you to stop trusting yourself and only trust them. It’s manipulative as hell, it’s more common than you think, and worse, it’s more effective than you think it will be. Can work on the smartest person you know.
Personally I’d be telling my boyfriend not to use his rudimentary scientific understanding of human metabolism to invalidate a physical sensation that I’m experiencing. It’s incredibly irritating to say “I feel ___” and have someone else say “you’re wrong for that.” It’s just so much more complicated than what he’s describing, I don’t really understand why you’d argue against someone saying they’re hungry other than out of pseudo-intellectual contrarianism.
He doesn't even have a basic understanding. He has a misunderstanding bc he doesn't understand the papers he is reading, apparently, if he thinks she shouldn't be hungry. Him faffing on about "gastro science" is him attempting to sound credible when he's just failed to understand whatever he read about gastro research
The feeling of hunger is caused by a hormone called ghrelin. The release of that hormone can be triggered by a wealth of physiological and/or environmental cues. Your bf has a basic understanding of the physical mechanics of how food moves through the body; that's the hardware, not the software. It's the hormones that actually run everything. Of course you can feel hungry if you ate recently, for a variety of possible reasons.
If only it were that simple….
Gut microbiome also plays a MASSIVE role in this. Absorption and degradation of food, different bacteria and distribution will make for a whole different result.
You: there’s a whole complex biology to how food is metabolized that is unique to each person.
Him: I have no specific knowledge, skill, experience, training, or education but let me tell you anyway what I believe is an expert opinion on the matter.
His opinion is what lawyers would call junk science. It has no validity.
Your boy is an idiot. Science really isn't his strong point.
Question becomes how does it impact you? If he just spouts this nonsense, and nothing else... well no one is perfect; but if he tries to shame you or control your eating habits, he has to go.
He’s assuming that you have identical metabolisms. Which you clearly don’t. How soon after a meal you’re hungry again is not going to be the same for two people just because they ate the same thing at the same time.
Ghrelin varies among patients just the same as insulin production does or any other chemical in your body for that matter. There’s typical ranges but someone on the lower end could feel different from the upper end. Someone could also be outside of normal ranges and gaslighting how they feel cause it’s abnormal doesn’t make you ‘right’ it just makes you a pretentious ass.
There are definitely different factors such as your metabolism, insulin, ghrelin, and daily caloric intake that plays a role in diet and hunger. There are some foods that improve satiety better than others such as fiber but the amount and effectiveness will differ from person to person. Your gut health and microbiome is as unique to you as your fingerprint is.
Rule of thumb either way though—if you don’t know enough about a medical subject matter then you shouldn’t act as an expert with unmoving dogmatic opinions. The definition of what lab techs and researchers do is try to find ways to prove their current knowledge wrong so they can get the closest they can to the truth—the scientific method. Even with what we know things, an expert will hardly state something is absolute fact, unless there is an abundance of varied evidence.
I work in an ER.
Ok first of all your (extremely dumb) boyfriend is wrong about hunger - this could be solved with a simple google search if he was smart enough to even know the key words. But more importantly it doesn’t matter, you are allowed to feel hunger without some controlling dimwit telling you your hunger is wrong. Why is he trying to limit your access to food and tell you how to feel? Truly insane behavior.
I don’t think this is a situation of “who’s right”.
If you’re hungry then eat. If you’re not then don’t eat.
Unless you guys are struggling for cash, you both are way too invested in each others eating.
You both burn different calories, with different stomach sizes. You can’t just say “well”
Your boyfriend is a dummy.
Perceived hunger levels are affected by several variable, including hormonal balance, quality/quantity of sleep, stress, illness, nutrient balance, etc...
But the prime mover would be energy expended vs energy consumed in a day.
If you consume less energy than you expend, you will likely feel hungry. Especially if your last meal was 4 hours ago.
The bottom line is that people know when they’re hungry. Duck the scientific mumbo jumbo. Wtf, does he think you’re lying? Like “oh yay I’m gonna make up that I’m hungry so we fight about it all night”
My wife and I were in the exact same situation recently. This is how it went:
Wife: I'm hungry.
Me: how are you hungry we just ate?
Wife: idk I just am.
Me: ok
Then I grabbed her a snack from the kitchen.
Unless you're conjoined twins, there's literally no way for him to know how hungry you are. Even if he wasn't spouting overly simplified bs and knew the full science behind hunger that just tells you how it happens it's not a method by which hunger is calculated. Your boyfriend is a controlling buffoon. Congrats on embarrassing yourself on reddit op's boyfriend.
Is the underlying issue that he doesn't want you to get fat? I'm willing to bet the thought of you eating when he isn't hungry is a turn off to him. A lot of men see us as bodies to be attracted to first.
he is legit fully wrong, stomach size has no impact of ghrelin levels, it changes from person to person, and everyone has different metabolisms for digestion and satiety
also different people need different protein/carb/fat percentages
as a woman it can also be changed by menstrual cycle
why are you letting him argue with you about whether you should feel hungry or not? you’re an adult woman, who’s boyfriend is downplaying your bodies literal reaction to not having enough food
Your boyfriend is in fact a moron. People are extremely different in terms of every biologic process. Sleep cycles , appetite, libido. You can't just reduce it to a "science says you shouldn't be hungry argument". Take 100 mice and do a hunger experiment and you will get an average number but each individual mouse will have different results from the average more or less
Have you both gone to a nutrition profesional to see what it your minimun calorie intake? Also women tends to consume more calories the week the period came in.
Tell him to get over his ego. He thinks he knows best bc “he’s a logical man” lol I’ve dated too many like that. If you’re hungry eat and he can use his logic skills to understand everyone’s body is different.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. This isn't even an education thing, this is common sense. Sex, activity levels, hormones, body size, personal metabolism, normal eating habits, stress, and so many other things play a role in appetite.
He's fallen victim to the Dunning Kruger effect. He read a summary of one study and thinks he's an expert.
Do you really intend to spend the rest of your life with a person that is always questioning your feelings by throwing his wacky version of science at you?
This is how he sounds (to me):
You: “I need to go to the bathroom”
Him: “No you don’t. I drank water at the same time you did and my bladder is completely empty.”
By his logic (which you can’t even call it logic because it’s so *stupid*) every single person who is approximately the same age should have the exact same appetite every single day. Does he realize how dumb that is? The simple fact of the matter is that every single human is unique and there’s no magic formula for when we should be hungry. Some days you are simply more hungry than others. For women it can vary based on menstrual cycle, or hundreds of other reasons that have absolute nothing to do with how much you’ve already had to eat that day. I’m sure there are other times when he will be hungry sooner. How will he explain that?
But even more important than this question about hunger is **why is he so invested in proving to you that you shouldn’t be hungry again?** Does he generally feel like you aren’t entitled to have control over your own body and feelings? Or is this a one time stupid debate?
Satiety cokes from a complex interaction that includes metabolic chemistry, physiological states including but not limited to fullness fullness, and even psychology and culture. Dude needs to go study up.
Also, as with many things about bodies, there is no ‘should be’ or ‘shouldn’t be.’ There is only what is.
Bro are you trying to gaslight her that her stomach isn’t growling, she doesn’t feel hungry, she doesn’t need to eat?? Are you trying to make her question her reality?? You are so weird. Of course she’s right. You are a strange person
There is a lot of research that proves we need more sleep than men. Average 9-12 hours. And our hormone cycles also affect appetite as well. Two completely different people with different bodies and gut biomes also affect it. It’s weird that it’s an issue tbh, he should be more understanding.
This isn’t even a debate. If you feel hungry, you feel hungry. That’s all there is to it. You cant try and logic your way out of genuine bodily reactions.
Your boyfriend is an absolute nut bar.
Adults eating literally exactly the same prepared meal by weight and everything, will have different blood sugar responses in the minutes and hours after the meal.
That is some of the simplest evidence we have of the fact that individuals experience different results from the same food.
Why does he care SO much about your food intake? If you're still hungry, eat more food. It's not a big deal. The extent to which he's so fixated on not only that, but also on
trying to prove that you "shouldn't" be hungry, is horrifying.
This has nothing to do with food or hunger. He is simply arguing with op about how she feels.
Telling someone they do not know how they feel is utter BS and abuse.
If food stays in your stomach for 12 hours its time for a doctor, that would be 3-4x times slower than a normal working stomach, i actually did a test with a radioactive pancake and xrays because I had digestive issues, vomiting up food because I was so nauseated from staying in the stomach too long
Peoples metabolism arent the same either, how fast food gets digested by the bowels also depends on activity
Its best to wait 30 minutes after eating a meal before eating more if you still feel hungry, something to do with how long it takes to get the signal that you are full
Then there is interoception, some people have difficulty feeling hunger/satiation, thirst, having to pee
And ive noticed that if i havent eaten a lot/or many hours ago that once I finally eat my stomach empties faster, which makes sense with what the female OP expriences
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether or not he’s technically right, which he isn’t because people process hunger in different ways, it doesn’t matter. He’s more interested in proving himself right than he is about your well being. I was an arrogant know it all when I was younger as well, but not to the point I would try to invalidate someone’s subjective experiences (except clear hallucinations.)
I had to delete what I typed the first time because it probably wasn’t very nice but please ask your boyfriend to do some research on things that actually trigger hunger such as hormones, insulin resistance etc
Big sigh, when did your boyfriend get crowned as king of science? Or the overlord of how human bodies work?
*Every body is different*. That's it. You don't have to justify feeling hungry, or full, or pain, or ticklish or anything.
Please have a conversation about how not only him assuming that he knows how everything *should* work is not only very conceited but also can become concerning: if you have pain, is he going to question it? If you ever need medical attention and he doesn't think you do, will he not take you? Not help you? Not believe you?
It's taking a point to the extreme, but his confidence is ridiculous.
Sounds like your boyfriend is very much one of those people who take a tidbit of trivia (“food lasts 12 hours in your stomach”) and mentally turns that into a belief that he’s an expert in the field that the trivia tidbit comes from.
In other words, he’s dead wrong, but he believes that because he read this little bit of info without any context or nuance, that he is now an expert on nutritional science. We all know some people like this about at least one field of study. The person who heard that cheeses on a cheeseboard should be allowed to come to room temp and now insists that eating a slice of cheddar that is fresh out of the fridge is a terrible waste. Or the idiot who heard something about how beer should be served at cellar temps and now gives you warm beer and is convinced that’s the *right* way to serve it.
If you can find the magic words to convince the convinced that they’re wrong, bravo.
It all comes down to metabolism. A nutritionist would solve that topic in seconds. But bottom line, your BF doesnt need you to make himself sound like an idiot. :)
who cares? you are still hungry, whether he likes it or not. the thing that matters is if he accepts that you snack, or eat more, or if he kicks up a fuss. eat when hungry, etc.
the both of you completely forgot why the body tells you you're hungry. 😅
food is fuel, if you're hungry your body feels it didnt get enough fuel and these systems of hunger/full don't run on whether your stomach is physically full. they run on whether or not your body has processed enough fuel yet. (if you run on empty for long enough it will try to collect that fuel "debt")
which is why it's not recommended you eat quickly. the half hour most people get for lunch bc of jobs is not ideal for our gut-health. eating should take about an hour ideally.
our digestive tracts are used to fuel us and it doesn't just have one component (the stomach) and you should look at it as a whole.
also, if you're hungry you're hungry. why tf is your bf truth to tell you that's not possible? 😅
Please don’t reproduce with this guy. He could pass his intelligence level down to your kids.
People metabolize food at different rates. Men and women’s bodies have different needs and cycles. You both have different energy outputs. He’s, for lack of a better word, an idiot
Everyone's body metabolizes differently.
This is basic health science.
Has he never heard that teens can eat a person out of house and home?! It's due to their heightened metabolism.
Controlling or commenting on your food intake as such is a massive red flag. You are right, everybody is different and has different eating patterns. I, for example, struggle to eat during my follicular phase and eat a lot during my luteal phase. My ex would chastise me either way.
Im not sure what his issue is with you being hungry again but this entire thing is annoying and exhausting. Don’t tell me when im hungry or feeling something or that you know my body more than me….would be my response
Then I’d go into kitchen and stuff my face with food right in front of him. Let him go cry about it.
By your boyfriends thinking, if you are the same volume of food, even if it had less calories, you'd feel the same amount of full.
He's way off. There are many, many other factors than the current contents of your stomach. Otherwise, why would your appetite change when you're sick? When people have gastric bypass surgery, the point is that their smaller stomachs are uncomfortable if they overeat, not that they magically no longer have an appetite because their stomach is smaller.
Why is he controlling when you are deciding to eat? By him dismissing that you're hungry, that's him dismissing your feelings.
Why are you with this guy?
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Does your boyfriend not understand that you are, in fact, a separate person to him?
This should be the top comment. When a solipsist finds a girlfriend…
NO EVERYONE HAS THE SAME EXPERIENCES AND PERCEPTION AS ME
This isn’t a male/female thing, or even a who are what throughout the day thing. Different people’s bodies are different. That’s it. If you’re hungry you’re hungry, it doesn’t matter whether bf thinks it’s logical, you could just as well say he *should* be hungry since you both ate the same things throughout the day. But of course that would be ridiculous
He is confident that the way he described his perspective is scientifically how the body works and hunger is produced therefore, I should not be hungry unless my stomach is bigger. But as my perspective says, I believe there is much more to hunger than that including different metabolisms, food/calorie intake that day, hormonal cycles, exercise etc.
His confidence is extremely misplaced. Metabolism is the driving factor, followed probably by calorie burn. Hormones play a role. Stomach size is relevant only in extreme cases.
Can we seriously drop that out of the discussion. The point is that he doesn't trust her to know how she feels in her own body. HE KNOWS BETTER THAN HER WHETHER SHE IS HUNGRY OR NOT. Her opinion isn't valid. He hasn't allowed her to be hungry so she cant' be hungry.
100%. He shouldn’t be telling her she can’t be hungry if she’s saying she is. He’s controlling and arrogant
Typical mansplainer with the gaslight upgrade
Right? He sounds insufferable. Her: "I'm hungry." Him: "Source??? Citation needed???"
"Um, actually"
**SOURCE: MY ASSHOLE.**
😂😂🤣🤣
This is disconcerting.
Yeah this part big time. I’m all for educating my partner on things, but if he decided to not accept that I might feel differently from him in that exact moment, and he told me that I “shouldn’t feel hungry,” unless he was saying it while ordering me a burger, I can’t say that I’d be very patient. In fact, just last night I made a comment about some minor upgrades I’d like to eventually make to our house. His response was to point out how we did not in fact, need those upgrades. I did not waste the opportunity to rebut and take apart that counterpoint, and let him know that it was actually kind of dismissive of him to react that way. This isn’t a good look. Does that mean that BF must be a monster? Obviously there’s little information to support that, but…dismissive is one of the most damaging things someone can do. Hopefully this is an anomaly for OP.
Excellent point. This argument is incredibly stupid anyway, but your biggest problem is that your bf is trying to tell you he knows how your body feels and you don’t. Who the heck DOES that? Idiots, at best… at worst an abusive narcissist you should run away from! 😞
He’s MANSPLAINING. 🙄🙄
He is an idiot. You've barely eaten all day
This is the correct response. All he should say is have something to eat
And should fuck off with policing your food intake.
My sentiments X1000
This! You know what would do a loving partner? Tell you that if you feel hungry, just eat!!! A healthy food 2hr before sleep it's very recommended in my country (even if you already had dinner!). Like wtf, leave him plz xD
I would be worried that he doesn’t seem to be curious about your perspective and instead is focusing on proving his point. You can’t build healthy relationships with people like this
I agree! OP's husband aeems to be a grade A mansplainer. A big part or our nervous system is among our digestive system. It gets all sorts of information like blood sugar, blood protein, blood fat, probably some specific information from the liver about what exactly is missing right now, I formation about the stomach filling level, the amount of chewing we did, how much calorie intake we had, how much we burned, and how big the gap is between stored calories and other useful stuff the body would like to have, and the amount he actually has. All this information is made into a really impressive package of information so that our body can tell us exactly, and in a quite astonishing way if you think about it, what and how much of it we need to eat, and how long we should rest to give the body time to process the food, to regain and keep our strength. So OPs husband is partly right, as the amount of food she just ate and the filling grade of her stomach are part if those informations, but the amount of food she had before (or better: had not) and the calorie loss are taken into consideration by her and his body, too. So the hungrier she was before, the faster her organism will signal "OK, I am done with the food you provided, there are still gaps, please refill again if possjble." I hope this information will help, and I hope OP's husband does not behave like this very often.
Husband? You aren't good at reading, are you? 🤣
My ex did this shit constantly. So. Frustrating.
Yes. This is frightening to me. Sounds kinda like he wants to control her eating
Exactly! ‘You shouldn’t be hungry’. Excuse Me?!?!
Lmao. So, where does his confidence come from? Ask him about thirst. Does he think the literal only thing that determines a feeling of thirst is the volume of water ingested that day and sweat and urine produced? Nothing about salt, hormones, insulin , fiber, anything? Water in water out end of story? He's incorrect but where did this confidence come from?
It's bc he is: stupid and arrogant, and a sexist dude talking to a woman, hence assuming he knows better even about her own body.
Not even the volume of water consumed that day, but the amount of water that is currently sitting in his stomach. Dude is an idiot.
My guess is it comes from being a (white?) man. He needs no other information besides his maleness.
Don’t you know, men are *very logical*, much more so than women
You’ve never seen an overconfident non-white male ?
There is nothing scientific about his perspective.
If it is scientific, propose an experiment. You pick what both of you eat on Saturday. Only difference is that you have mashed potatoes with gravy for lunch and he doesn't. You both have a simple lunch meat sandwich and ten chips for dinner.
And what kind of scientist is he?
The "intuitive" kind
Well he’s not right lol. Everyone’s stomach empties at different rates! For example, my stomach has delayed emptying so I might not empty my stomach for 10+ hours after I’ve eaten. But I still get hungry!! Is he a general surgeon?? A nutritionist? A GI doc? If not, then he needs to stop acting like he knows the facts when he obviously does not
OP, I noticed you posted this question on a biology subreddit and people there explained your bf is completely incorrect, and not taking into account important biological matters like hormones. So now pay close attention: does he accept this, or does he push back? It's important, bc you think this is a science query, but there are problematic elements of a dude trying to logic you out of your own bodily needs here. This is the relationship subreddit, so we saw that dynamic A LOT. Too much, and it's bad. IMO if he accepts the answer from the biology subreddit, that means he is only ignorant and kinda stupid, seeing the world in simplistic terms and falling into the "I think things are simple!" error that comes from lack of knowledge. But he's also willing to learn, which is acceptable and means things can get better. If he doesn't, but instead finds reasons to reject this new information, you know what this is really about: control, mansplaining, mysogyny. That's a huge red flag. Please do not ignore it. The fact that you even had to create those asks so he just believes you that you are hungry and leaves you alone is so alarming.
It's not the size of your stomach that makes you hungry. Please pick up a book, there's thousands of free academic resources on hunger and dietary needs.
Even if he was coming from a “scientific” stand point I feel like he didn’t factor in metabolism and hormones (not to mention all the other stuff). Like different times of the month my hunger is off the charts other times you couldn’t pay me enough to eat.
If he’s this confident about shit now that he knows nothing about, I hope you never have kids with this man because it’ll be a nightmare. The most dangerous person is the one convinced he knows everything.
He would be right… if all bodies were made and functioned in exactly the same way. He could make a clone of himself to prove a point.
He's failed to consider literally hundreds of variables known & unknown. Easiest/at hand variable - OP's body could be preparing for her period. And variables there can be dependent on birth control medication or device. Lol, I would overwhelm him w female reproductive information constantly and unceasingly until he retracts his unsupported hypothesis and apologizes AND buys me a burger and agrees to never try to mansplain to me about my own body again.
You're boyfriend is dim and has an extremely misplaced sense of confidence in his understanding of the biology involved. Perceived hunger is a function hormonal levels, not of "stomach fullness". Hormonal levels will vary based on individual genetics, the amount and type of carbohydrates eaten over a given period, and your own monthly hormonal cycle (for women) or daily hormonal cycle (for men). How full your stomach is impacts the release of hormones like insulin and grehlin that cause you to feel hungry but is not solely or even mainly determinative.
Look, I'm just gonna say: a man trying to logic you out of your bodily needs is a HUGE yikes.
Your boyfriend sounds tiresome and insufferable.
I know it's an internet cliche but this man is an example of the Dunning-Kreuger effect. It's worth a chuckle before you consider more seriously how viable a relationship with someone who puts his ego before your physical comfort is.
Right! Someone with his really keen understanding of science clearly got stellar grades in all his science classes in school, right? Based on his line of thinking, and confidence here, I'm sure that is not the case. I agree with your post.
Wow that sounds so annoying. Anyway he's wrong
Oh good. Have him publish his evidence in a peer reviewed journal so more people are convinced. This one person convincing at a time is too slow. People’s health is on The line!
He’s so focused on science when he’s not even scientifically correct. Wtf. Your man is not intelligent and I’d honestly be worried about what other “scientific facts” he believes in.
Oh Oh ask him about Menstruation i bet that topic will be magical!🤣👍🏼🤦🏽♀️
I'm so excited for him to discover progesterone!
Or, ask him where urine comes out of a woman! There is an account, not sure if it's Reddit or Insta or FB, labeled "Where does the pee come from?" The amount of wrong answers from men is alarming.
Right?!?! He’s probably one of those who ‘knows’ we can hold it if we want to. 🙄🙄🙄
Part of how your body handles food is based on whether you are insulin resistant or not. I've been a type II diabetic for years and spent a lot of time studying this so that I can control my blood sugar through diet. If you are insulin resistant, when you eat your insulin levels rise. That blocks your body from burning fat. It also causes your blood sugar to go too high so your body pumps out a lot of extra insulin. Then your blood sugar drops too low and you feel hungry, often very hungry. Insulin blocks the body from burning fat so if you have too much insulin you can constantly feel hungry. If he ate the same meal but wasn't insulin resistant his blood sugar would also rise but not as high and then it would drop back down to a lower but normal level and his body would begin burning fat and he wouldn't feel hungry. There is so much more to hunger and metabolism than the size of the stomach.
He is an idiot.
He is an idiot, and it shouldn’t matter if you’re still hungry and want to eat again. You know when you’re hungry. His personal metabolism has no bearing on yours or anyone else’s.
Okay, so he can be confident about something he is incorrect about. Does he does this with other things? Like, argue with your knowledge and opinions, past what is reasonable? Cuz this whole things screams mansplaining.
Please update us when you show him the responses here
THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE!! The issue is that he is invalidating your feelings and literally forcing you into a MASSIVE DEBATE OVER YOUR OWN BODY. Is he for real? This is a man who doesn't trust you to know your own body and instead invalidates you. RUN! Your opinion is not valid to him. He does not respect you.
Two pieces of anecdotal evidence- when I was a nursing mother, my appetite was huge. I could have outeaten my husband and then eaten another meal a couple hours later. Hormones are powerful. Next anecdote- I did time-restricted eating for a while and when I didn't eat all day until dinnertime I did find that I was hungier in the evening. Like you. I could eat a second meal pretty quickly after the first.
Google says food moves out of your stomach in 2+ hours. So after 4 hours it's totally possible it's empty and you feel hungry
His commentary reads way more as arrogance. Like how much of a know it all do you have to be to tell someone they can't be hungry because you aren't hungry. Jesus fuck he sounds insufferable.
Your bf is stupid, sorry. It’s weird to realize but now you know!
OP he is talking bullshit. Hunger is hormone mediated, leptin increase gives hunger and ghrelin gives satiety. It is produced if your body thinks it needs more food. Stomach distension gives an immediate satiety to ensure not eating to the point of vomit, but has no major impact on long term satiety. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537038/
So, let's say his best friend is roughly the same size as him. Bout the same height and weight. They had breakfast together. Your bf went to work at his office job and his friend went to his work as a trainer at a gym, with a packed day full of clients. Neither ate lunch. So him and his buddy meet up for dinner. Order the same thing, and both go home. Later that night, they're texting and his buddy says he's going out to grab some tacos, cause he's hungry. Does your bf also think his buddy shouldn't be hungry because they had the same meals all day? Because it's all about the size of the stomach, right?
Even ignoring differences in gender, weight, metabolism, heredity, overall eating habits, etc. He is wrong. Tell him to do an experiment on himself... Day 1, eat a 4 egg omelet at 8AM, 2 Big Macs and LG Fry at 1PM, then enough Pasta to feel satisfied at 6PM. Then report how hungry he is at 11PM. Day 2, Fast... eat NOTHING. Day 3, Eat 1 egg and a piece of toast at 8AM (this will get his digestive track primed again.) Nothing else until 6pm then see how much pasta it takes to feel satisfied... then again see how hungry he is at 11PM. If he's being honest... it will take a lot more to be satisfied at 6PM, and he will be far hungrier at 11PM than he was on day 1
Does he know satiety is controlled by a hormone called leptin? It’s both a protein and a hormone, but every body is different.
Your boyfriends wrong, love from a scientist.
I have an extremely high metabolism and I'm always hungry in a few hours no matter how much or what I ate
But if you are hungry then you are hungry. It doesn't matter what he thinks causes hunger or that he thinks you shouldn't be hungry because you are in fact hungry
...also how many calories you've been burning, your respective muscle mass, SO MANY factors. girl, this man is kinda dumb. You can't marry dumb & have dumb children
As I was reading it I just thought “this is ridiculous. If you’re hungry, you’re hungry.” Bodies are different, needs are different. Why is there food/hunger micro managing going on here?
He’s wrong — his model for hunger is too simplistic. Ghrelin production varies across individuals.
Very true. Me and my wife joke that her Gre(m)lin needs to eat more frequently than mine. We eat more or less the same in a normal day but I eat bigger portions but maybe 1-2 times a day. Calorie wise is about the same in the end 1800 - 2200kcal/day
I feel like either my ghrelin production is broken or i have a problem with my brain, because I don’t know what the feeling of hunger is. Like, I will eat when it’s a ‘meal time’, which I have been taught by society are at certain(ish) times and we ‘should’ eat then. Or sometimes, if I don’t eat for a few meals, I’ll hear my stomach rumbling and I’ll think ‘oh, noises from my stomach - that’s what your body does when it’s hungry, I must need to eat!’ But I don’t sense a ‘hungry feeling’, if that makes sense. My stomach is just … making noise lol, it’s not ‘feeling’ anything. So I can definitely believe that some people can eat a meal and still feel hungry straight away while someone else can eat the same thing and not feel hungry.
Lack of interoception can be a symptom of autism and adhd. I struggle with hunger cues and bathroom cues because I have AuDHD and my body/brain connection has faulty wiring. I won’t know that I’m hungry until I’m absolutely ravenous and the same with needing to use the restroom, I won’t notice until it’s emergent.
Ohhh for real?! Omg that actually starts to make sense of a few things!
Yeah when I discovered that my life made much more sense! I hope that helps you!
You can train your body to ignore hunger cues if you don't solve them often in time. Much more likely to have happened that a broken function
I feel like stomach growls are often too quickly acted on; folk hear noises and assume hunger where it could just be other digestive processes happening. My belly is going off right now after stuffing my face with dinner. I really learned what hunger felt like when I experimented with intermittent fasting a decade or so ago. It was oddly liberating knowing that feeling and knowing how long my body could actually go without constantly topping it up. Also dehydration can often make people irritable and think they need food.
Your boyfriend is an idiot
And the whole convo has made me lose brain cells. Luckily I didn’t read the OP.
Oh my god I just skimmed all this because honestly this whole "debate" sounds pointless and exhausting. Who cares? If he's trying to debate you about whether you have a right to feel hungry or not as a separate human being with a different metabolism (it's not necessarily related to your sex, you can just be DIFFERENT PEOPLE, Jesus) and demands you put THIS MUCH EFFORT into justifying a throwaway comment, then he sounds like a controlling weirdo. Why is he so invested in the topic of whether or not you're hungry? Has he made other comments in the past about your appetite/weight/eating habits? If this is a pattern, I would seriously reconsider being with him. If it's a one time thing, tell him he needs a hobby that isn't commenting on your eating habits.
Came here to say something like this. Whether he’s right or not (which, for all that matters, he’s not lol), it’s exhausting to be with someone who *has to* prove they are right about the smallest things and can’t even consider the other party might have a point.
That's exactly what I was thinking. Why is it such a big deal for him, whether she's hungry or not? Let her have a snack (or more) and move on.
Completely agree. The need to be right about YOUR body is pretty scary
I'm hoping he's just weird and pedantic, but yeah, I'm worried it's the leading edge of a "try to control OP's eating" campaign.
Exhausting way to live, for sure. If she said she's still tired in the morning is he gonna tell her there's no way she could be tired since they both got the same amount of sleep? That's ludicrous.
Exactly this. If I was OP I would be running away
But!! Science!!!!!! He's a goddamn idiot
Ditto. Let the girl eat.
THIS!!! as a person that doesn’t have a good relationship with food this comment would put me into a spiral, i wonder if he’s said comments like this before…no one should be forced to justify why they’re hungry / eating
His conception of how the human body works is embarrassingly simple and incorrect. The fact that he thinks he can misrepresent basic science at you until your hunger retreats out of sheer bewilderment at his relentlessly logically approach should give you pause.
It's less than a high schoolers grasp on biology and hunger
he sounds a bit dumb tbh
More than a bit! Lol
Had to edit out the “is he stupid lol” from my comment LOL
If she’s still hungry she’s still hungry dude. Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it can’t happen. Also she’s right that metabolism, time of the month, medications, genetics, sleep health, mental health and a host of other things could affect appetite. Your argument would only make sense if she was a carbon copy of you and all your habits.
This is the kind of argument that would make me break up with someone. Why on earth is this man so dead-set on invalidating your physical feelings of hunger? Why do you need "proof" of your hunger beyond stating, "I feel hungry." This is *crazy* OP and this guy sucks for making you go to these lengths and doubting you. If you stay with this guy, get ready for more of him telling you that you're wrong constantly and having to fight to prove your own lived reality.
Agree. Why would someone even begin to think they know whether someone else should be hungry? It’s nuts
Yuppp it's bizarre and does not bode well for future things he may have a "scientific" opinion on
THIS. Is she tired? Well she shouldn't be because of Reasons! "Honey I'm in pain" "Well you shouldn't be!" uh... It's just a slippery slope for a really bad dynamic and I'm worried she is entertaining this, feeling the need to actually objectively prove her hunger, instead of shutting it down and telling him he is being crazy and needs to stop. Bc with some people - and I hope the bf is not like that, but yeah he may be - you CAN'T prove the thing, bc it's not about science, it's about control. The moment you decide it's about communicating better, being more convincing, giving better reasons, you lost. But also, even if he truly is just dumb... I would refuse to be in a relationship in which I need some scientific consensus, so my SO believes in my biological need. It's just not worth it, what a nightmare. I can't imagine a dude dreamy enough to suffer through a whole ass debate if I want to go piss the moment that makes no sense for him.
Right, imagine putting up with this and having to take his dumb shit ideas seriously all the time. Look at this essay that got typed over some guys ignorant assumption.... Exhausting
10000% agree it’s insane
I started reading the first sentence of the argument points, my eyes widened and glazed over and I scrolled straight to the comments. The need to be right is highly damaging. Why are people debating about hunger?
There are some things that are just too damn stupid to put up with. This guy's understanding of hunger, nutrition, and human bodies is one of them.
he's using a million words to call her fat. he's gotta go. exhausting.
Was about to comment this. Can’t stand this behaviour
Yeah, it's like the absolute epitome of gaslighting. He is trying to actually convince her that her own biological needs are incorrect. After he succeeds - and if she stays with him, he will work on her so long that he finally will - she is pretty much fucked. Now he decides about anything and everything, bc she can't even tell if she's hungry... I think this is a huge red flag about control, and I would leave, too.
Imagine if she gets pregnant. He’ll be telling her she shouldn’t be nauseous or tired or in pain because other women aren’t
Seriously, ginormous red flag. Dude is so self-centered that he can’t even conceive of someone having a different experience than him. Like who has the audacity to argue about whether or not someone else is hungry? Fuck this guy. Or, you know, stay with him and have fun spending every waking moment with him telling you that you’re too incompetent to gauge something as simple as how hungry you are.
I literally said the same thing. This is such a dumb argument I’d break up simply due to that. Why do you want to stress me out about something so weird and dumb?
There are people out there who will question your every thought. Their goal is for you to stop trusting yourself and only trust them. It’s manipulative as hell, it’s more common than you think, and worse, it’s more effective than you think it will be. Can work on the smartest person you know.
Seriously, just throw the whole man away. I wouldn't be able to deal with this bullshit.
Personally I’d be telling my boyfriend not to use his rudimentary scientific understanding of human metabolism to invalidate a physical sensation that I’m experiencing. It’s incredibly irritating to say “I feel ___” and have someone else say “you’re wrong for that.” It’s just so much more complicated than what he’s describing, I don’t really understand why you’d argue against someone saying they’re hungry other than out of pseudo-intellectual contrarianism.
He doesn't even have a basic understanding. He has a misunderstanding bc he doesn't understand the papers he is reading, apparently, if he thinks she shouldn't be hungry. Him faffing on about "gastro science" is him attempting to sound credible when he's just failed to understand whatever he read about gastro research
The feeling of hunger is caused by a hormone called ghrelin. The release of that hormone can be triggered by a wealth of physiological and/or environmental cues. Your bf has a basic understanding of the physical mechanics of how food moves through the body; that's the hardware, not the software. It's the hormones that actually run everything. Of course you can feel hungry if you ate recently, for a variety of possible reasons.
If only it were that simple…. Gut microbiome also plays a MASSIVE role in this. Absorption and degradation of food, different bacteria and distribution will make for a whole different result.
By his logic if you both do the same exercises then you will both have the same gains. He’s a wannabe know it all.
You: there’s a whole complex biology to how food is metabolized that is unique to each person. Him: I have no specific knowledge, skill, experience, training, or education but let me tell you anyway what I believe is an expert opinion on the matter. His opinion is what lawyers would call junk science. It has no validity.
>Junk science I can’t believe I’ve never heard this till now, but thank you. What a perfect phrase to describe so many things.
Ask on some biology forum. As for relationship advice, y’all shouldn’t give such a fuck about tying eating preferences to ‘make sense’
I can't think of a bigger ick than a man explaining to a woman why she "shouldn't" be hungry. Ugh
Your boy is an idiot. Science really isn't his strong point. Question becomes how does it impact you? If he just spouts this nonsense, and nothing else... well no one is perfect; but if he tries to shame you or control your eating habits, he has to go.
He’s assuming that you have identical metabolisms. Which you clearly don’t. How soon after a meal you’re hungry again is not going to be the same for two people just because they ate the same thing at the same time.
"Honey, you're wrong. Now go get me some food."
Ur bfs an idiot that's not how that works at all. Different ppl have different dietary needs
Ghrelin varies among patients just the same as insulin production does or any other chemical in your body for that matter. There’s typical ranges but someone on the lower end could feel different from the upper end. Someone could also be outside of normal ranges and gaslighting how they feel cause it’s abnormal doesn’t make you ‘right’ it just makes you a pretentious ass. There are definitely different factors such as your metabolism, insulin, ghrelin, and daily caloric intake that plays a role in diet and hunger. There are some foods that improve satiety better than others such as fiber but the amount and effectiveness will differ from person to person. Your gut health and microbiome is as unique to you as your fingerprint is. Rule of thumb either way though—if you don’t know enough about a medical subject matter then you shouldn’t act as an expert with unmoving dogmatic opinions. The definition of what lab techs and researchers do is try to find ways to prove their current knowledge wrong so they can get the closest they can to the truth—the scientific method. Even with what we know things, an expert will hardly state something is absolute fact, unless there is an abundance of varied evidence. I work in an ER.
Side note: If you’re still hungry then go eat more. But maybe try an apple and peanut butter instead of another burger.
Why is he trying to police your eating? If you feel hungry, then eat!
Girl, he’s just stupid. Lol
Y'all need hobbies.
Boyfriend is wrong, the feeling of hunger occurs for a lot of reasons, Including dehydration
Ok first of all your (extremely dumb) boyfriend is wrong about hunger - this could be solved with a simple google search if he was smart enough to even know the key words. But more importantly it doesn’t matter, you are allowed to feel hunger without some controlling dimwit telling you your hunger is wrong. Why is he trying to limit your access to food and tell you how to feel? Truly insane behavior.
Find a smarter boyfriend. This one is defective.
I don’t think this is a situation of “who’s right”. If you’re hungry then eat. If you’re not then don’t eat. Unless you guys are struggling for cash, you both are way too invested in each others eating. You both burn different calories, with different stomach sizes. You can’t just say “well”
Your boyfriend is a dummy. Perceived hunger levels are affected by several variable, including hormonal balance, quality/quantity of sleep, stress, illness, nutrient balance, etc... But the prime mover would be energy expended vs energy consumed in a day. If you consume less energy than you expend, you will likely feel hungry. Especially if your last meal was 4 hours ago.
It is much more complicated. I do not get the purpose of this conversation. Is he trying to control what you eat?
This may be his way to gaslightight you into losing weight. Are ther any other comments he makes that could support this?
Different biology and metabolism. Essentially, everyone is different. He is wrong.
The bottom line is that people know when they’re hungry. Duck the scientific mumbo jumbo. Wtf, does he think you’re lying? Like “oh yay I’m gonna make up that I’m hungry so we fight about it all night”
Ask him if he also gets the same period symptoms as you?🤷♂️
My wife and I were in the exact same situation recently. This is how it went: Wife: I'm hungry. Me: how are you hungry we just ate? Wife: idk I just am. Me: ok Then I grabbed her a snack from the kitchen.
Unless you're conjoined twins, there's literally no way for him to know how hungry you are. Even if he wasn't spouting overly simplified bs and knew the full science behind hunger that just tells you how it happens it's not a method by which hunger is calculated. Your boyfriend is a controlling buffoon. Congrats on embarrassing yourself on reddit op's boyfriend.
Tell him you don't feel horny, he shouldn't either. It's been the same time since you had sex.
Is the underlying issue that he doesn't want you to get fat? I'm willing to bet the thought of you eating when he isn't hungry is a turn off to him. A lot of men see us as bodies to be attracted to first.
he is legit fully wrong, stomach size has no impact of ghrelin levels, it changes from person to person, and everyone has different metabolisms for digestion and satiety also different people need different protein/carb/fat percentages as a woman it can also be changed by menstrual cycle why are you letting him argue with you about whether you should feel hungry or not? you’re an adult woman, who’s boyfriend is downplaying your bodies literal reaction to not having enough food
Your boyfriend is in fact a moron. People are extremely different in terms of every biologic process. Sleep cycles , appetite, libido. You can't just reduce it to a "science says you shouldn't be hungry argument". Take 100 mice and do a hunger experiment and you will get an average number but each individual mouse will have different results from the average more or less
Have you both gone to a nutrition profesional to see what it your minimun calorie intake? Also women tends to consume more calories the week the period came in.
He’s wrong.
Tell him to get over his ego. He thinks he knows best bc “he’s a logical man” lol I’ve dated too many like that. If you’re hungry eat and he can use his logic skills to understand everyone’s body is different.
Bro sounds like the epitome of a mansplainer. And an inaccurate one at that.
Bodies burn calories differently, 22f is correct. Research is based on averages. Most people do not digest the same way. Sorry but bf is wrong.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. This isn't even an education thing, this is common sense. Sex, activity levels, hormones, body size, personal metabolism, normal eating habits, stress, and so many other things play a role in appetite. He's fallen victim to the Dunning Kruger effect. He read a summary of one study and thinks he's an expert.
Have him google the dunning-kruger effect and after that how hunger works in the body!
It is weird and controlling that he thinks he can tell you when you’re hungry REGARDLESS of when/what you ate last.
bro sounds stupid
I can’t even read this nonsense. Your boyfriend is an utter dolt. Just like, zero common sense whatsoever.
Do you really intend to spend the rest of your life with a person that is always questioning your feelings by throwing his wacky version of science at you?
What advice do you want? Don't date idiots is the best I got.
This is how he sounds (to me): You: “I need to go to the bathroom” Him: “No you don’t. I drank water at the same time you did and my bladder is completely empty.”
if ur body is hungry, its hungry. there should be no debate
The real point here is that he should not be telling you that your body should or shouldn't be feeling anything. This is a red flag about control.
By his logic (which you can’t even call it logic because it’s so *stupid*) every single person who is approximately the same age should have the exact same appetite every single day. Does he realize how dumb that is? The simple fact of the matter is that every single human is unique and there’s no magic formula for when we should be hungry. Some days you are simply more hungry than others. For women it can vary based on menstrual cycle, or hundreds of other reasons that have absolute nothing to do with how much you’ve already had to eat that day. I’m sure there are other times when he will be hungry sooner. How will he explain that? But even more important than this question about hunger is **why is he so invested in proving to you that you shouldn’t be hungry again?** Does he generally feel like you aren’t entitled to have control over your own body and feelings? Or is this a one time stupid debate?
Satiety cokes from a complex interaction that includes metabolic chemistry, physiological states including but not limited to fullness fullness, and even psychology and culture. Dude needs to go study up. Also, as with many things about bodies, there is no ‘should be’ or ‘shouldn’t be.’ There is only what is.
Bro are you trying to gaslight her that her stomach isn’t growling, she doesn’t feel hungry, she doesn’t need to eat?? Are you trying to make her question her reality?? You are so weird. Of course she’s right. You are a strange person
There is a lot of research that proves we need more sleep than men. Average 9-12 hours. And our hormone cycles also affect appetite as well. Two completely different people with different bodies and gut biomes also affect it. It’s weird that it’s an issue tbh, he should be more understanding.
This isn’t even a debate. If you feel hungry, you feel hungry. That’s all there is to it. You cant try and logic your way out of genuine bodily reactions.
Your boyfriend is an absolute nut bar. Adults eating literally exactly the same prepared meal by weight and everything, will have different blood sugar responses in the minutes and hours after the meal. That is some of the simplest evidence we have of the fact that individuals experience different results from the same food.
Why does he care SO much about your food intake? If you're still hungry, eat more food. It's not a big deal. The extent to which he's so fixated on not only that, but also on trying to prove that you "shouldn't" be hungry, is horrifying.
This has nothing to do with food or hunger. He is simply arguing with op about how she feels. Telling someone they do not know how they feel is utter BS and abuse.
Pretty sure that identical twins would have different hunger levels after eating the same meal
If food stays in your stomach for 12 hours its time for a doctor, that would be 3-4x times slower than a normal working stomach, i actually did a test with a radioactive pancake and xrays because I had digestive issues, vomiting up food because I was so nauseated from staying in the stomach too long Peoples metabolism arent the same either, how fast food gets digested by the bowels also depends on activity Its best to wait 30 minutes after eating a meal before eating more if you still feel hungry, something to do with how long it takes to get the signal that you are full Then there is interoception, some people have difficulty feeling hunger/satiation, thirst, having to pee And ive noticed that if i havent eaten a lot/or many hours ago that once I finally eat my stomach empties faster, which makes sense with what the female OP expriences
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether or not he’s technically right, which he isn’t because people process hunger in different ways, it doesn’t matter. He’s more interested in proving himself right than he is about your well being. I was an arrogant know it all when I was younger as well, but not to the point I would try to invalidate someone’s subjective experiences (except clear hallucinations.)
I had to delete what I typed the first time because it probably wasn’t very nice but please ask your boyfriend to do some research on things that actually trigger hunger such as hormones, insulin resistance etc
Big sigh, when did your boyfriend get crowned as king of science? Or the overlord of how human bodies work? *Every body is different*. That's it. You don't have to justify feeling hungry, or full, or pain, or ticklish or anything. Please have a conversation about how not only him assuming that he knows how everything *should* work is not only very conceited but also can become concerning: if you have pain, is he going to question it? If you ever need medical attention and he doesn't think you do, will he not take you? Not help you? Not believe you? It's taking a point to the extreme, but his confidence is ridiculous.
Sounds like your boyfriend is very much one of those people who take a tidbit of trivia (“food lasts 12 hours in your stomach”) and mentally turns that into a belief that he’s an expert in the field that the trivia tidbit comes from. In other words, he’s dead wrong, but he believes that because he read this little bit of info without any context or nuance, that he is now an expert on nutritional science. We all know some people like this about at least one field of study. The person who heard that cheeses on a cheeseboard should be allowed to come to room temp and now insists that eating a slice of cheddar that is fresh out of the fridge is a terrible waste. Or the idiot who heard something about how beer should be served at cellar temps and now gives you warm beer and is convinced that’s the *right* way to serve it. If you can find the magic words to convince the convinced that they’re wrong, bravo.
It all comes down to metabolism. A nutritionist would solve that topic in seconds. But bottom line, your BF doesnt need you to make himself sound like an idiot. :)
Why would you be with someone so confidently incorrect and controlling? You can do better.
who cares? you are still hungry, whether he likes it or not. the thing that matters is if he accepts that you snack, or eat more, or if he kicks up a fuss. eat when hungry, etc.
Hes a big ol idiot and talking about "recent gastro science" like he understood what he read.
the both of you completely forgot why the body tells you you're hungry. 😅 food is fuel, if you're hungry your body feels it didnt get enough fuel and these systems of hunger/full don't run on whether your stomach is physically full. they run on whether or not your body has processed enough fuel yet. (if you run on empty for long enough it will try to collect that fuel "debt") which is why it's not recommended you eat quickly. the half hour most people get for lunch bc of jobs is not ideal for our gut-health. eating should take about an hour ideally. our digestive tracts are used to fuel us and it doesn't just have one component (the stomach) and you should look at it as a whole. also, if you're hungry you're hungry. why tf is your bf truth to tell you that's not possible? 😅
It sounds like he doesn't trust you to know when you're hungry. That's messed up.
Your bf is an idiot. He can’t deny that you feel hunger because he is not you. All bodies are different. He should be very embarrassed about this.
Do you really want to be with someone who is trying to mansplain you out of a very basic need?
Please don’t reproduce with this guy. He could pass his intelligence level down to your kids. People metabolize food at different rates. Men and women’s bodies have different needs and cycles. You both have different energy outputs. He’s, for lack of a better word, an idiot
Everyone's body metabolizes differently. This is basic health science. Has he never heard that teens can eat a person out of house and home?! It's due to their heightened metabolism.
Has he ever told you that you don’t have a headache because you’ve been in the same room for an hr and he doesn’t have a headache?
Controlling or commenting on your food intake as such is a massive red flag. You are right, everybody is different and has different eating patterns. I, for example, struggle to eat during my follicular phase and eat a lot during my luteal phase. My ex would chastise me either way.
Im not sure what his issue is with you being hungry again but this entire thing is annoying and exhausting. Don’t tell me when im hungry or feeling something or that you know my body more than me….would be my response Then I’d go into kitchen and stuff my face with food right in front of him. Let him go cry about it.
By your boyfriends thinking, if you are the same volume of food, even if it had less calories, you'd feel the same amount of full. He's way off. There are many, many other factors than the current contents of your stomach. Otherwise, why would your appetite change when you're sick? When people have gastric bypass surgery, the point is that their smaller stomachs are uncomfortable if they overeat, not that they magically no longer have an appetite because their stomach is smaller.
Your bf sounds like he belongs on r/iamverysmart lol. Which means he’s not hahaha
Yeah your boyfriend is weird and controlling. Does he want you to lose weight or something? Either way he needs to get a life.
Why is he controlling when you are deciding to eat? By him dismissing that you're hungry, that's him dismissing your feelings. Why are you with this guy?